Dale Partridge - Romans 12_17-21 ~ Part 6 - Thirty Marks of a True Christian： The Christian Response to Conflict

00:00:00.000 Well, it's good to be with you all this morning, last Sunday of the year, and a great opportunity

00:00:09.720 to close out chapter 12.

00:00:14.980 A few things I want to mention.

00:00:17.860 This is a very practical passage of scripture.

00:00:22.720 This whole 12th chapter of the epistle to the Romans has been very practical for the believer.

00:00:31.760 Joseph just mentioned the series has been titled, The 30 Marks of a True Christian.

00:00:37.760 Now, we know that in this epistle, chapter 12 marks the shift from belief, chapters 1 through 11, to behavior, chapters 12 through 16.

00:00:50.000 And that is that the motive for our behavior, the motive behind why we obey these commands, is God's mercy in the gospel.

00:01:04.460 These calls for action are our reasonable service or our reasonable response to the gospel.

00:01:13.920 Now, one observation that I've made as I've been going through this in my study is chapters 1 through 11.

00:01:20.000 were difficult to fathom because of the intense systematic theology.

00:01:26.600 It's hard doctrine.

00:01:29.040 But chapters 12 through 15 or 16 are difficult to live

00:01:34.400 because of the intense practical theology that is required of them.

00:01:42.040 These commands in this chapter are going to challenge every dimension of your flesh.

00:01:50.000 We know that that has been the case so far.

00:01:53.800 And we also know that they can only be carried out by people who are saved.

00:02:00.840 People who have the Holy Spirit.

00:02:04.400 People whose hearts have been subdued by God.

00:02:09.200 That is to say that this chapter is not about moralism.

00:02:14.120 It's a call to holiness.

00:02:16.320 and it should actually change the way you live

00:02:22.060 it's not how you earn salvation it's how you show salvation i said last week that

00:02:33.840 good works or the way that we obey is that we obey from

00:02:43.520 salvation, not for salvation.

00:02:47.960 It's an incredibly important distinction. We obey

00:02:51.500 from salvation, not for

00:02:55.360 salvation. The obedience of Christ

00:02:59.440 is what secured our salvation, not our obedience.

00:03:04.060 We can't contribute at all

00:03:06.560 to the redemption of our souls through works.

00:03:11.440 Only the perfect work of Christ can do that.

00:03:15.660 We've looked at the chapter.

00:03:17.420 We've heard things like, let love be genuine.

00:03:19.360 Abhor what is evil.

00:03:20.180 Hold fast to what is good.

00:03:21.960 We've heard verses like, rejoice in hope.

00:03:24.180 Be patient in tribulation.

00:03:25.200 Be constant in prayer.

00:03:26.820 Difficult, practical passages of scripture.

00:03:31.040 In verse 13, he shifted from devotion internal to external love for others.

00:03:40.860 He told us to contribute to the needs of the saints and to show hospitality.

00:03:47.680 Last week, we covered the verse, bless those who persecute you.

00:03:53.000 Bless and do not curse and live harmoniously with one another.

00:04:01.440 Ultimately, it was a call to humility in difficult circumstances.

00:04:06.240 Now, today, we're going to see that theme shift from humility to peace.

00:04:14.920 We're going to have a sermon on peace.

00:04:19.460 Now, I've titled this sermon, The Christian Response to Conflict.

00:04:24.900 The Christian Response to Conflict.

00:04:28.360 Last week, we covered Mark's number 13 through 20.

00:04:33.080 Yes, today we're going to get through nine of them, 21 through 30.

00:04:40.160 I want to just look down at your Bibles, join me in verse 17.

00:04:45.320 This covers Marks 21 through 22.

00:04:48.540 It says,

00:04:48.900 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to what is honorable in the sight of all.

00:04:57.160 what an incredibly difficult passage to obey the natural response to evil committed against us

00:05:08.980 is revenge that's the natural response every single one of you even the one-year-olds the

00:05:15.520 two-year-olds in the room have already partaken or partook in this sin of revenge

00:05:22.960 revenge is defined as quote bypassing proper channels of justice taking matters into one's

00:05:32.300 own hands to inflict harm as a way to acquire retribution that's what revenge is

00:05:40.740 it's sinful it's sinful now only the holy spirit can overcome the tendency of the flesh

00:05:49.680 to seek out revenge, to seek out retaliation.

00:05:57.260 Matthew Henry once wrote,

00:05:59.820 To return evil for evil is human.

00:06:01.800 To return good for evil is divine.

00:06:07.720 Now, I do want to clarify that this passage is not against returning justice for evil.

00:06:14.220 But how do you do that?

00:06:15.460 As you know, the principle of this text really is an extension of Christ's teaching on turn the other cheek.

00:06:23.260 Or, hey, he takes your cloak from you, give him your tunic also.

00:06:28.820 So how do you square up?

00:06:30.780 How do you square up those teachings on we're not returning evil for evil when someone's breaking into your house?

00:06:41.000 Or someone tries to kidnap your child?

00:06:42.960 or someone causes damage to your property

00:06:46.440 or someone starts slandering your name.

00:06:50.560 How do you square up?

00:06:52.920 Don't return evil for evil.

00:06:55.560 Turn the other cheek.

00:06:58.900 If they take something from you, give them something else.

00:07:01.860 How do you square those up

00:07:03.480 with those real circumstances?

00:07:08.580 Is that what Jesus,

00:07:09.940 Does Jesus want us to just forgive people without justice, without repentance, just to look over it all?

00:07:22.040 Are you just to allow yourself to be wronged without any action or consequence?

00:07:29.780 Is that what Jesus and Paul mean in this principle of not returning evil for evil?

00:07:35.980 I don't think so.

00:07:37.060 So, the theologian R.J. Rushduni, he once clarified on this topic.

00:07:42.400 He says, quote, to protect the innocent and to uphold righteousness is not vengeance, but obedience to God's law, end quote.

00:07:49.020 In other words, this passage or this biblical ethic is not removing self-defense.

00:07:56.440 It's not removing righteous justice.

00:08:00.160 It's removing sinful vengeance.

00:08:05.740 That's what it's removing.

00:08:07.060 If someone slanders your name, you can overlook it.

00:08:14.880 It's a glory to a man to overlook someone's sin, according to Proverbs.

00:08:19.140 But you also don't have to overlook it.

00:08:23.980 But what you can't do is slander him back.

00:08:28.460 That's the distinction.

00:08:30.160 You can't slander him back.

00:08:34.940 That's returning evil for evil.

00:08:37.060 Now, I don't know about you, but that is extremely practical.

00:08:42.520 Kids, in your own homes, when someone, a sibling calls you a name, you can overlook it.

00:08:52.900 You can go seek justice, but you can't call him names back.

00:08:58.740 That's sinful.

00:08:59.680 your duty again is to either overlook it or to seek

00:09:05.400 biblical paths of justice vengeance is again surpassing or usurping the proper process

00:09:14.020 of justice seeking to venge yourself through harm to get your retribution can't do that

00:09:23.200 now biblical justice first begins with matthew 18 go to the person alone go to the person alone

00:09:35.960 don't go tell nine people and then go to the person go to the person alone now yeah if it's

00:09:44.380 a weird situation where it's a woman sinned against a man and he's married and yeah maybe

00:09:49.800 bring somebody but the reality is is there's a process if that effort is unfruitful

00:09:56.500 you can go to the next step which is forming a church court or council bring two or three

00:10:05.240 with you if that is unfruitful and let's just say they're excommunicated from the church

00:10:15.340 Let's just say that they continue to slander you.

00:10:18.640 And that slandering mars your reputation and actually affects your local business

00:10:23.860 and causes a loss and real damages financially to your name.

00:10:31.500 As a Christian, you can seek civil justice.

00:10:36.620 Now you might be thinking, well, wait, what about 1 Corinthians 6?

00:10:39.440 It says never you should be willing to be wronged before you seek court in the secular sphere.

00:10:45.360 What are you to do about that?

00:10:48.460 The central principle of that passage in 1 Corinthians 6 is that if at all possible, settle disputes within the church, not in secular courts.

00:10:59.520 That's the principle.

00:11:00.480 John Calvin actually says, quote, it is not that it is not the use of the law or the use of civil courts that is here condemned, but rather the contention, bitterness and greed that lead brothers to sue each other before unbelievers. 0.96

00:11:21.680 The call to avoid secular courts is referring to Christians who essentially lack self-control that's fueled by vengeance. 0.85

00:11:32.860 They bypass the church's process, the church's courts. 0.88

00:11:36.000 They don't do Matthew 18.

00:11:39.540 And they seek to adjudicate their conflict on minor disputes.

00:11:48.420 And they skip the church and go directly to the civil sphere.

00:11:51.920 That can't happen.

00:11:55.340 And it happens all the time.

00:11:57.800 And it happens because the Protestant church is terrible at a few things. 0.83

00:12:02.840 Covenant membership.

00:12:04.780 If you're not in covenant, you really have no membership.

00:12:07.940 And if you have no membership, you really can't afflict church discipline.

00:12:11.560 And you can't adjudicate anything because people just leave.

00:12:16.000 That happens all the time.

00:12:17.920 we don't have church discipline in america because we have no structure we don't have

00:12:24.500 church courts in america because we have no structure we have no order we have no church

00:12:29.640 authority and because we are so disorganized and have reduced the church to a volunteer club

00:12:35.040 whenever we have a matter that actually needs real adjudication

00:12:40.660 we skip the church and we go straight to the civil sphere

00:12:44.200 This is not biblical. It's not historical.

00:12:48.880 The reformers would flip tables over it.

00:12:52.620 1 Corinthians 6 does not

00:12:56.000 forbid real cases of

00:13:00.180 civil injustice for Christians.

00:13:04.560 Let's just say you've got a domestic violence situation in the church. 0.71

00:13:08.540 Let's say you've got child abuse in the church.

00:13:14.200 let's say you have grand larceny or complex matters going on.

00:13:19.540 Yeah, they might start in the church.

00:13:21.920 Those things will be graduated to the civil sphere.

00:13:28.800 Rush Dooney, in his classic book, The Institutes of Biblical Law, he writes,

00:13:33.980 when a man rejects the authority of God's law as administered by the church,

00:13:38.280 he places himself under the jurisdiction of the civil magistrate.

00:13:42.100 To seek civil justice in such cases is not unbiblical, but is an extension of God's law, end quote.

00:13:53.460 I want you to grasp this, okay?

00:13:55.600 The Reformers, the Westminster Confession, they both see the civil magistrate as an extension of God's authority.

00:14:05.820 We're going to be reading next week, Romans 13.

00:14:10.080 Corbin is going to give us a sermon on how Romans 13, the civil government, is the extension of God's authority.

00:14:19.360 So it's not that the civil sphere cannot adjudicate between Christians.

00:14:25.240 It's to not skip the church and escalate to the civil magistrate, especially on matters that can be handled in the church.

00:14:40.060 So, two-fold root here of this teaching.

00:14:44.780 First, outside of righteous self-defense, don't retaliate evil for evil.

00:14:53.000 Second, seek to forgive.

00:14:57.360 That's the best.

00:14:59.400 Overlook the sin.

00:15:01.760 If that's not possible, you get to exhaust justice in church courts.

00:15:09.080 which we need to, in America, develop.

00:15:13.780 Which is a great value of being in a denomination.

00:15:17.880 It's why we're joining the CREC.

00:15:20.440 Because what happens when you have a problem,

00:15:23.700 maybe with one of us,

00:15:25.580 and you disagree with our ruling,

00:15:29.020 you have no other option

00:15:31.960 if you're not in a denomination.

00:15:35.640 That's it.

00:15:36.340 You have no appeal to anywhere else because we're not accountable to anyone else.

00:15:46.960 But if we're in a denomination and we rule incorrectly, you can make an appeal to a church court at Presbytery and say, we believe that we have been wronged by the elders at Kingsway.

00:16:03.840 And that court will form.

00:16:07.340 And that court will have a ruling of third-party disinterested pastors.

00:16:15.180 Meaning that they are not in a conflict of interest.

00:16:18.640 They're not involved in the emotional realities of this.

00:16:22.740 And they can offer a layer of safety and accountability to church members that you do not have at independent churches.

00:16:31.740 It is extremely important.

00:16:35.480 In fact, I've actually repented for planting this church as an independent church.

00:16:40.720 It is so wrong and so unsafe to do so.

00:16:49.620 Now, none of this process, even if you do it right, let's just say you go through the church discipline process, but you do it with a vengeful heart.

00:17:00.300 It's like fake obedience.

00:17:03.280 It's like clean vengeance.

00:17:07.400 It has to be carried out with a heart that has justice and peace at the center.

00:17:16.060 And if you don't feel like this is going to be applicable to your life, it will.

00:17:20.620 If you're here long enough, it will.

00:17:23.060 You're going to get offended by me, by something I say, by something one of your brothers or sisters says.

00:17:29.420 You'll be tempted to leave.

00:17:32.800 But if you can take this process, it keeps our church safe.

00:17:39.180 If you're offended by something, you get to either A, overlook it, B, go talk to the process or talk to the person with the process of church discipline.

00:17:53.160 But you cannot get bitter.

00:17:56.800 You cannot seek to return evil.

00:17:59.420 for evil. Now, it says here

00:18:03.680 in the second half of this verse, it says, but give thought to whatever is honorable in the sight of all.

00:18:08.840 Whatever you do, make sure

00:18:11.480 that your response reflects

00:18:15.560 Christ.

00:18:20.620 If you get frustrated here, the way

00:18:23.680 you leave, the way you deal with it, must

00:18:27.660 reflect Christ. It says it right here. But give thought

00:18:31.600 to do what is honorable in the sight of all.

00:18:36.920 We just forget that when emotions go high.

00:18:40.240 I'm going to do what feels right to me.

00:18:43.920 No. No. You don't get to return evil for evil.

00:18:48.260 And what you do do must be honorable in the sight

00:18:51.660 of everyone. It's really

00:18:55.620 easy when things aren't harsh and emotional.

00:19:01.240 But you must remember that.

00:19:05.540 Paul offers an overarching ethic in

00:19:07.440 verse 18. He says, if possible, so far as it depends on you,

00:19:12.180 live peaceably with all.

00:19:15.680 So peace has to be a priority for the Christian. Peace.

00:19:21.160 Charles Spurgeon, I believe, has said,

00:19:22.700 But we must be peacemakers as children of the Prince of Peace.

00:19:31.420 It's characteristic. It's one of the fruits of the Spirit.

00:19:34.980 If you're not a peaceful person, there's a problem there.

00:19:39.580 It doesn't mean that you can't be at war with the world.

00:19:41.540 I'm not going to be at peace with lies.

00:19:44.360 But are you a peaceful person with your brothers and sisters?

00:19:49.540 Practically speaking, I believe this is a call to kind of fight against this tendency to escalate contentions in the middle of conflict.

00:20:00.620 Or to avoid dealing with conflict, which is another way to avoid peace.

00:20:09.220 When there's conflict, the ultimate goal is to achieve peace as quickly as possible.

00:20:19.540 I recently reached out to a person that had some conflict, and they said to me, it's too soon.

00:20:29.940 Too soon?

00:20:32.660 What do you mean?

00:20:35.340 It's too soon for your emotions, maybe.

00:20:37.340 I get that.

00:20:39.340 But Jesus says in Matthew 5, 23 through 24, it says, if you are offering your gift at the altar, you're worshiping.

00:20:47.780 and there remember that your brother

00:20:50.660 has something against you.

00:20:53.740 Leave your gift there

00:20:55.040 and then go to the altar

00:20:56.080 or leave before the altar and go.

00:20:58.240 First be reconciled to your brother

00:20:59.880 and then come and offer your gift.

00:21:06.120 Jesus didn't say

00:21:07.240 if you feel like your brother's got something against you

00:21:10.880 but if it's too soon

00:21:13.120 just keep worshiping.

00:21:15.980 No.

00:21:17.780 No. Reconciliation and conflict should happen quickly.

00:21:23.300 Do you know what happens when reconciliation happens slowly?

00:21:28.420 Is there more sin in that process or less sin?

00:21:32.260 Always more. Always more emotion.

00:21:36.320 Always more bitterness. Always more gossip.

00:21:39.940 Always more slandering. Always more contention.

00:21:45.240 You know how you deal with this stuff?

00:21:47.120 You just get to obey Scripture, and you deal with it quickly.

00:21:52.600 Quickly.

00:21:56.540 I think, theologically speaking, we can offer peace

00:22:01.240 because we've been offered peace through Christ.

00:22:05.900 That's why.

00:22:07.340 You can't give what you don't have.

00:22:09.840 You can't take people to a place that you've never been.

00:22:12.320 i think one of the most effective teachings in scripture in times of conflict

00:22:18.720 is the parable of the debtor you guys should read that in fact i've actually known friends

00:22:25.080 that read it every day it is one of the greatest passages of scripture for the christian it's

00:22:30.720 matthew 18 21 through 35 i'm not going to read it aloud here but write it down matthew 18 21 through

00:22:38.440 In that parable, we learn that there is no sin that someone can commit against you that is greater than the sins that you have committed against God.

00:22:54.200 It removes any reason for you to never or to refuse forgiveness.

00:23:00.540 It is one of the most convicting parables in all of Scripture.

00:23:08.920 And because God has forgiven you, you must forgive others.

00:23:11.320 We all know that very intimidating verse in Matthew 6, 14 through 15 that Jesus says,

00:23:15.920 For if you forgive others, their trespasses, your heavenly Father will forgive you.

00:23:19.720 But if you do not forgive others, their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.

00:23:30.420 Just get married for a week and you get to deal with all of these things, right?

00:23:34.460 Have a child that becomes two years old and you get to deal with all of these things.

00:23:42.800 There's nothing that you can do or that can be done to you that is greater than the sins that you've committed against God and been forgiven for.

00:23:53.040 That allows you to forgive every sin committed against you. 0.90

00:23:58.460 In fact, I would say every single divorce that has ever happened is because they have failed, I'm going to say every Christian divorce, every Christian divorce that has ever happened is because they have failed to remember that truth. 0.94

00:24:17.580 They've been not willing to forgive, even though they have been forgiven for much worse. 0.98

00:24:23.180 i know there's exceptions i know there's weird things going on there

00:24:29.040 i'm sure there's going to be a video clip on the internet of me saying this and

00:24:32.720 taking it out of context i do want to offer a clarification

00:24:37.380 we're not to seek peace if it compromises primary truths so there is a balance we want

00:24:48.620 everything to be simple it's not life's complex it's rated r and it's difficult okay

00:24:53.160 There's a lot of things involved here.

00:24:56.640 Peace and truth are handcuffed together, generally speaking.

00:25:01.700 Consider the story of Martin Luther, The Diet of Worms.

00:25:04.880 His famous quote, right?

00:25:07.220 He stands firm, here I stand, I can do no other.

00:25:10.620 He's not going to compromise on primary truths.

00:25:13.960 But I doubt he would do that if the issue was over head coverings.

00:25:18.240 Okay?

00:25:19.360 I wrote a book on head coverings. 1.00

00:25:20.840 There are women that cover their heads and women who don't. 1.00

00:25:23.760 It's not a reason to divide and create contentious environments over.

00:25:31.920 There are primary, there are secondary, there are tertiary tiers when it comes to truth.

00:25:36.460 The Trinity, it's primary.

00:25:39.620 Okay?

00:25:41.080 Saved by grace, primary.

00:25:45.340 You know, there are mode of baptism, secondary.

00:25:50.840 You know, sacramentology, secondary.

00:25:58.700 We can have different views here.

00:26:03.680 And what I mean is that this side of heaven, we can have those disagreements on secondary and tertiary matters and still have unity.

00:26:12.460 In fact, actually, that's what really makes Christianity awesome is that you get to see unity despite differences.

00:26:17.900 that's what we have in this church

00:26:21.700 we have some people that are credo-baptists

00:26:26.280 we have some that are paedo-baptists

00:26:29.040 some that are post-mill, some that are awe-mill

00:26:31.880 and we are still unified without being uniform

00:26:36.440 and as I said last week the goal is uniformity

00:26:39.920 we'd love to get there

00:26:40.820 but we work to that end in patience

00:26:44.460 So we get to take these principles of peace with dimension and with wisdom.

00:26:55.060 And the apostle speaks directly against the temptation of avoiding peace or avoiding people in conflict altogether.

00:27:04.620 He says in verse 19,

00:27:08.220 Now, beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.

00:27:14.460 Our fear, and I want you to think about your own life here for a second.

00:27:19.780 Our fear in extending peace to our enemies is that justice will never be served.

00:27:31.860 That's why we don't want it.

00:27:33.120 It's like, I don't want to overlook this because I need the guy to learn.

00:27:40.860 That's kind of the mentality.

00:27:45.400 But here the apostle affirms us that no evil deed will go unpunished, reminding us that vengeance is mine, says the Lord.

00:27:53.400 If they're a brother and sister in Christ, we know.

00:27:56.820 What does God say?

00:27:58.460 The Lord disciplines his children. 0.99

00:28:00.540 There's a lady on X who is a believer and extremely loud and contentious and says so many foolish things.

00:28:19.140 And recently she said that they're under extreme trial right now.

00:28:30.540 first thing that came to my mind is I thought, oh, the Lord's disciplining you.

00:28:35.460 Praise be to God. Sanctification.

00:28:39.180 You know, I don't know. I can only look on the outside. I don't know the heart.

00:28:43.200 But that's what it looks like. And

00:28:46.380 we have a God who disciplines.

00:28:50.140 When you get wronged, sometimes it might take six

00:28:54.460 months for that person to get convicted by the Holy Spirit and you get a phone call.

00:28:57.580 Well, hey, just want to let you know, sorry for saying that thing to you.

00:29:06.380 Sometimes it takes that long.

00:29:08.960 But the reality is, is that we fear extending peace because we don't trust that justice will ever be served.

00:29:16.200 But Jesus says, vengeance is mine.

00:29:19.620 And I discipline my children.

00:29:22.600 So whether they're saved or not saved, justice can be handed to God.

00:29:28.380 Again, this is dimension.

00:29:29.740 It doesn't say that you don't just avoid justice altogether and you don't need to,

00:29:33.560 you can just overlook the guy that, you know, broke into your house.

00:29:38.920 That's not what this is saying.

00:29:41.020 But it does give you the option to overlook it.

00:29:44.140 And lay that justice in the providence of God's hands.

00:29:48.460 Now, this is actually a mercy to you, by the way

00:29:53.540 Hanging on to bitterness or thoughts of retaliation

00:29:58.400 And fear that justice will not come

00:30:01.180 You know what that does to a person?

00:30:04.820 Do you know what that does to a person?

00:30:07.320 Think about how mad you've been before

00:30:09.300 And how many hours you spent thinking about how mad you are

00:30:14.820 there's a story about a man who once tried to seek revenge

00:30:21.420 from his neighbor

00:30:23.480 who insulted him

00:30:26.800 and he spent so many hours crafting a plan to humiliate his neighbor

00:30:32.260 that he neglected his crops

00:30:34.720 and was unable to feed his family for the year

00:30:38.140 that's the kind of thing

00:30:40.560 that bitterness does to a person

00:30:42.620 John Calvin says bitterness is a poison we drink hoping it will harm another but it corrodes our

00:30:50.500 own souls and consumes our precious time that ought to be spent in the joy of Christ

00:30:55.900 Thomas Watson says to harbor bitterness is to sow seeds of your own unrest it robs the heart of

00:31:04.920 peace, the mind of focus, the soul of communion with God.

00:31:09.580 Charles Spurgeon, bitterness is

00:31:12.840 a thief of time and joy. Every moment spent

00:31:16.700 nursing a grudge is a moment stolen from the sweetness of fellowship

00:31:20.860 in Christ. Richard Sibbes,

00:31:25.660 bitterness locks the soul in an endless

00:31:28.880 quarrel, leaving no time for prayer, praise,

00:31:32.500 or the contemplation of God's mercy.

00:31:36.420 John Owen.

00:31:38.720 The time consumed by bitterness is time forfeited to the enemy.

00:31:43.600 Instead of waging war on our sin,

00:31:45.940 we foolishly waste hours plotting against our neighbor.

00:31:50.360 Jonathan Edwards.

00:31:52.500 When a man is filled with bitterness,

00:31:55.100 he spends his hours meditating on injury rather than grace

00:31:59.840 and thus loses time that might have been spent for God's glory.

00:32:05.520 Isn't that amazing? 1.00

00:32:08.460 You know how stupid it is to be bitter? 1.00

00:32:11.440 It's like top of the list idiotic. 1.00

00:32:18.000 Headed over to the Lord or pursue justice with a heart aimed for peace. 1.00

00:32:24.440 That's it.

00:32:26.060 That's it.

00:32:27.660 You don't get to be bitter.

00:32:29.100 You don't get to be vengeful.

00:32:30.920 You don't get to retaliate.

00:32:34.560 Laying our grievances before the Lord,

00:32:37.740 it frees us to have to be this kind of moral vigilante

00:32:42.500 to justify ourselves.

00:32:45.720 It frees you.

00:32:47.520 Like, you're free.

00:32:49.180 And you know what you're free to do?

00:32:53.720 You're free to actually love these people

00:32:56.700 in the midst of their sin.

00:33:02.020 And it's exactly why

00:33:03.880 verse 20 says,

00:33:06.680 to the contrary,

00:33:07.440 if your enemy is hungry,

00:33:09.460 feed him.

00:33:11.500 If he's thirsty,

00:33:12.500 give him something to drink.

00:33:15.100 For by doing so, 0.77

00:33:16.260 you will heap burning coals on his head.

00:33:18.420 He's saying, 0.98

00:33:19.220 hey,

00:33:19.580 because I'm going to handle the justice,

00:33:22.840 you can actually love these people.

00:33:25.320 And actually,

00:33:26.280 loving those people, I'll cause all things to work together for good for those who love

00:33:30.880 me and are called according to my purpose. And I'll actually use your love to draw them

00:33:36.860 to repentance. That's what happens. Take an enemy, love him with kindness, and watch his

00:33:46.420 heart melt if he's a brother in Christ. Almost all of my childhood, my dad would say this

00:33:55.320 phrase to me, he'd say, Dale, kill him with kindness. 1.00

00:34:00.400 Kill him with kindness. Whenever I get frustrated with somebody, kill him with kindness. 1.00

00:34:06.560 Respond to 0.99

00:34:07.180 hostility with gospel grace because it essentially disarms your

00:34:11.300 opponent. More than that, it reveals their sin.

00:34:16.060 It shows your strength in Christ.

00:34:19.160 And it might even bring them to repentance.

00:34:21.760 It is incredibly counterintuitive.

00:34:26.160 It's the exact opposite what your flesh wants to do.

00:34:32.380 And what Paul is saying here is that you can offer these kinds of gestures to your enemy

00:34:36.540 because you know that in doing so, you're not neglecting justice.

00:34:40.440 You're simply handing it over to God.

00:34:44.320 And I'll tell you what, even from recent experience,

00:34:48.380 there are some times when people cannot, will not reconcile.

00:34:56.200 And you know what you get to do?

00:34:57.860 You just get to hand it over to God.

00:34:59.660 Okay.

00:35:01.600 Okay.

00:35:02.500 That's fine.

00:35:04.460 You don't get to be bitter.

00:35:06.140 You don't get to be frustrated.

00:35:07.500 You don't get to return evil for evil.

00:35:09.940 You wait patiently with the aim of peace,

00:35:13.760 with a desire for reconciliation.

00:35:15.720 And you know what? I trust that that will come.

00:35:22.300 Because God disciplines his children and vengeance is his.

00:35:31.300 Lastly, the apostle closes with a succinct and pithy summary.

00:35:37.120 He says, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

00:35:42.660 it's like worth a

00:35:46.480 like a flag saying that and putting it in your garage

00:35:50.980 this is really a connection to the first verse

00:35:55.800 you can almost kind of say don't return evil for evil and then you can just skip down here

00:36:00.680 don't overcome by evil but overcome evil with good these are connected

00:36:04.560 together these verses here if we return

00:36:08.540 evil for evil you have become overcome

00:36:12.600 by evil. That's what it means to return evil for evil. The Greek word for overcome is nikao,

00:36:21.860 and it means to be conquered. To be conquered. Whenever evil reigns and it rules

00:36:30.980 your actions, you become its slave.

00:36:36.740 Paul says, don't be overcome

00:36:40.420 by the temptation to return evil for evil.

00:36:45.720 Don't do that.

00:36:48.760 We know in verse 9, Paul said, abhor evil.

00:36:53.240 Hate evil.

00:36:55.280 The only way to overcome evil

00:36:59.880 is to be ruled by Christ.

00:37:02.980 That's the only way.

00:37:05.780 When you return evil for evil, 1.00

00:37:08.500 you need to realize that you are an absolute loser. 1.00

00:37:12.600 Okay? 1.00

00:37:13.840 And I've done it too.

00:37:15.820 You absolutely lose.

00:37:18.780 You go, I'm going to submit to evil right now.

00:37:21.100 I'm going to do exactly what they did to me

00:37:23.960 and think that I'm better than them. 1.00

00:37:25.660 It's the stupidest mentality that you can have. 1.00

00:37:29.140 No. 1.00

00:37:29.880 When you return evil for evil, you're just as wicked as they are.

00:37:33.820 You have no superiority.

00:37:35.780 You have nothing to boast about. 0.98

00:37:39.680 You have actually just become a slave to the devil. 1.00

00:37:43.140 Good work, idiot. 1.00

00:37:44.460 Right? 1.00

00:37:44.680 That's what we think.

00:37:47.900 No.

00:37:48.600 That is the wrong way to structure this work.

00:37:56.800 1 John 4 says,

00:37:58.200 It says, you are from God, little children, and have overcome them, because greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world.

00:38:09.740 You have in you the overcomer's spirit that can overcome evil.

00:38:18.920 You have the power to not be subdued by evil.

00:38:24.320 Yes, we fail.

00:38:25.360 But the beauty in Christianity is that you actually have the power of Christ to give you conviction

00:38:33.420 that you might not return evil for evil.

00:38:38.460 1 John 5.4 says,

00:38:39.480 For whatever is born of God overcomes the world.

00:38:43.600 And this is the victory that has overcome the world, our faith.

00:38:47.380 It's faith in Christ that allows you to operate and return good for evil.

00:39:03.520 This is basically what Paul was saying in the second half of the verse.

00:39:07.980 He says, but overcome evil with good.

00:39:11.700 We'll close here in a second.

00:39:13.620 Overcome evil with good.

00:39:15.660 so it's not just calling for complacency

00:39:19.840 don't do nothing

00:39:21.580 it's saying actually do something

00:39:24.320 overcome that evil

00:39:26.780 with good

00:39:29.020 in the same way that

00:39:31.820 only light can overcome darkness

00:39:34.620 or only heat

00:39:36.080 can overcome coldness

00:39:38.080 only good

00:39:39.960 can overcome evil

00:39:42.260 Now when we're tempted to retaliate

00:39:46.780 The only noble solution is to resist

00:39:48.920 Being conquered by this evil

00:39:51.280 And to conquer that evil

00:39:53.700 With the goodness of Christ

00:39:55.700 I just think about Jesus

00:40:00.040 In the temptation of the devil

00:40:02.080 Prior to going into the wilderness

00:40:05.160 And he's constantly fighting back

00:40:07.780 Overcoming evil with the truth

00:40:10.500 The goodness of scripture

00:40:12.540 That's what he does.

00:40:15.920 I think about Jesus healing the ear of the gentleman that's trying to capture him in the Garden of Gethsemane.

00:40:25.160 He's overcoming evil with good.

00:40:29.680 This is the mark of Jesus' ministry in life.

00:40:35.280 I think about him praying for those that are murdering him.

00:40:38.080 He's overcoming evil with good

00:40:41.820 Now

00:40:44.840 George Washington Carver once said

00:40:49.380 I will never let another man ruin my life by making me hate him

00:40:54.060 I think it's a good quote

00:40:56.940 I think it's a good quote

00:41:00.060 This is only possible when a person understands the gospel

00:41:03.580 okay you got to think about it for a second do you hate anybody

00:41:08.840 is there anybody in your life that the root of bitterness has taken its place and you have a

00:41:18.800 hatred towards them it takes us back to the parable of the debtor

00:41:30.400 the parable of the debtor showing mercy to those who wrong you

00:41:36.320 flows only from seeing god's mercy toward you

00:41:40.080 it fixes like every single relationship in your life by the way

00:41:45.520 that is you can't again you can't offer what you haven't experienced

00:41:52.600 and so i'm going to ask you to do a self-examination for a second

00:41:57.220 If you retaliate often, if you're a vengeful, begrudging person, if you return evil for evil on a regular basis, you are either extremely immature in the doctrines of grace of the gospel, or you're not saved, not regenerate, not born again.

00:42:24.460 That's it.

00:42:26.020 Because someone who understands the grace of the gospel,

00:42:31.500 that really grasps the degree of forgiveness that's been extended to them,

00:42:35.880 that really understands the magnitude of their own sin,

00:42:39.040 and how much greater it is in comparison to anything that anyone can do to us,

00:42:47.280 you cannot act that way.

00:42:50.380 The Holy Spirit brings in a conviction pretty quickly to remind you of you.

00:43:02.600 And you go, okay, I'm going to extend that grace.

00:43:08.840 My flesh hates it, my flesh fights it, but through the power of Christ in me, I can extend that grace.

00:43:18.580 That's the key.

00:43:21.340 Overcome other people's evil with good is only possible when you see that God overcame your evil with his good.

00:43:33.420 People saved by mercy are merciful.

00:43:37.300 People who have been forgiven easily forgive.

00:43:41.300 And so when you grasp the gospel, this whole concept of conflict, while it's not easy, will become easier.

00:43:55.900 And not by your own strength, but purely by the strength of Christ.

00:44:00.820 Amen?

00:44:01.700 Amen.

00:44:02.420 Let's pray.

00:44:03.820 Father, we thank you, Lord, for your word on this matter.

00:44:07.360 Lord, we know that conflict is a regular occurrence in our life.

00:44:10.060 Lord, from small conflict to major conflict

00:44:14.800 to things that wound and leave scars

00:44:19.100 to things that make you want to die.

00:44:23.800 And Lord, we ask that you would continue to implant these truths

00:44:26.760 that we would not forget them when conflict comes

00:44:28.800 that we would apply these truths by the power of your Holy Spirit

00:44:32.660 that we would extend grace because grace has been extended to us

00:44:37.520 and that we would extend mercy

00:44:38.920 because mercy has been extended to us.

00:44:42.020 And that our aim, if we seek justice righteously,

00:44:46.520 that our aim would be peace with a heart of love

00:44:50.780 and not a vengeful heart of evil.

00:44:54.820 But we ask this in your name.

00:44:57.000 Amen.

Dale Partridge - January 05, 2025

Romans 12_17-21 ~ Part 6 - Thirty Marks of a True Christian： The Christian Response to Conflict

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