The Gospel-Filled Home
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Summary
In this episode, Dale and Veronica discuss how to create a gospel filled home, and how to maintain a home that reflects God's vision for you and your family. They also share their own personal stories of coming to faith and how the gospel has shaped and changed them.
Transcript
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welcome to our home my name is dale partridge and i'm here with my wife veronica hey hey our hope
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is to help you cultivate a glorious christian home this episode is titled the gospel filled
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home if you're new here each episode is broken into two parts part one is available for free
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on every podcast platform. Part two is exclusively available in the ReLearn app. If you haven't heard
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yet, the ReLearn app is a library filled with theological content for the Christian life. We
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have hundreds of audiobooks, ebooks, videos, and courses, all for a small monthly fee that does
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support our ministry. Personally, I'm loving the three-minute daily devotionals with Charles
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spurgeon they're in updated language you can listen to them every morning they've been uh
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very helpful for me just to turn them on right in the morning as i'm waking up to start the day off
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right to view the library of the of the app you can go to relearn.org forward slash app to sign
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up all you have to do is just click the user icon in the header subscribe right there on your phone
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and then you can download the app from the app store and log in with those same credentials you
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You can also do all of that in the app from the App Store, but we do get a little bit
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more of a kickback for our ministry if you sign up through the website.
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Anyways, in part one of today's episode, we're going to be discussing how to produce a gospel
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In part two, we're going to share the top tools, including books, apps, music, podcasts,
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audio books flashcards catechism games routines that we've used to maintain a gospel filled home
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so on that note let's open up with part one how to produce a gospel filled home
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your view of god will translate into your home your home will be a reflection of your view of
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God, his promises and his mission. And so we're going to talk about the first things first is
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that to create a gospel-filled home, you need to be a husband and wife or an adult who knows the
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gospel and has been saved. And so babe, why don't you share a little bit about our experience
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really understanding the gospel uh you know coming to faith and then really not having a lot of
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clarity and how understanding the gospel of grace has shaped and changed us a bit yeah so um the
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lord saved me when i was 18. i am now 34 so it's been a little while um and i yeah i was saved in
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charismatic non-denominational heavily Pentecostal leaning church down in
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Southern California and I didn't know anything really I mean my best my
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childhood best friend growing up I went to church with them and his family all
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the time and they were his parents are Christians but my friend and I were not
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we thought we were we'd say we were but we certainly weren't and then the Lord
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when i was 18 um and i did not grow up in a christian home and so i didn't have a spiritual
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leader i didn't have a spiritual head other than my pastor but this pastor was you know over a
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5 000 person congregation and so it's not like i was able to have one-on-one meetings or
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discipleship or anything like that so i would go to the classes that they offered there at the
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church and those are beneficial and helpful for me um at least early on in my journey but again
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i was saved at 18 and then i met you or at least started hanging out with you i'd already met you
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but started hanging out with you when i was 19 and then we're married at 20. so the lord you
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know guided me and protected me during that um sure there were times where um we fell into
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myself and you um separately and also together into um faulty doctrine um as we were just trying
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to figure out our way and our journey on that yeah think about how maybe we were falling into
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legalism yeah i'm going into that right okay so um yeah we got married um we're at a small church
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and then we went to a mega church and then we moved to oregon and went to no church
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and but during that season you were kind of going through this um processing of what is
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what is church supposed to be like what does it look like and so you felt a heavily heavy um you
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know your heart was heavy leaning towards a home church and then we had just moved to oregon we met
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some people um some old friends that had pastored a home church and over time we started going there
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after we got to know them a little bit and um coming from the southern california culture
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this particular church was the most i guess you could say outwardly looking christian godly home
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and family that we had ever seen we're used to the typical southern california christian mega
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churches where you know you're in and out people are dressed like they're going to the club at
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church on sunday smoke machines tigers on the stage that type of background is um where we had
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kind of come from and so going from that and that being all we know to seeing this small little home
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church with fruitful families that had lots you know lots of children that generally got along
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together and um had a lot of head knowledge um and so we were really attracted to that because
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you we were just on this journey of trying to figure out you know just a spiritual journey of
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what does god want for the church what's gotta walk for our family there was a lot of personal
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holiness and in the sense of um morality there was heavy morality heavy uh outward outward
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structure of reverence you know we were singing hymns for the first time we were studying our
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bibles for the first time there was um personal discipleship personal discipleship you know we
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were taken under under their wing and um you know taught biblical manhood and biblical womanhood
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what does that look like because when we entered that our we were totally you know i wouldn't say
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flipped upside down i'd say you've always been the leader but it was just you know a mess yes
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well it was a in the community we were a part of was a high call of obedience it was
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it was hyper obedience and i don't know if you can say that hyper obedience is a bad thing but
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it was a community that was more focused on the obedience than than grace or the reality that
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Is that we were taught that obedience maintains our salvation.
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Maybe not those exact words, but that was certainly the-
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And we didn't understand what I think is one of the central doctrines of the gospel is that we don't rest upon our obedience, but upon the obedience of Christ.
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And he's given us that righteousness, his righteousness by faith.
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He pays the price of our sins, which is death on a cross.
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he gives us his righteousness through faith it's an incredible reality uh i think of what is it
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second corinthians 5 20 um he made him who knew no sin to be sin um for us that we might become
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the righteousness of god and when you don't believe that christ is your righteousness and
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that you need an alien righteousness given to you because you have no righteousness of your own
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i think it's james i forgot the exact verse but it's like if you don't keep the whole law
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and you fail even at one point you're guilty of all of it and so we we didn't understand how
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unrighteous we were and that our we thought we could make ourselves righteous yes by being
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obedient and following the rules essentially and we would sustain our righteousness right
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yeah like we would we would and we would need to you know repent after sins because
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in this view you could lose your salvation and you don't ever really know when you lose your
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salvation in this theological arena there was no doctrine of the preservation of the saints
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or the perseverance of the saints or once saved always saved whatever you want to call it
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And so we had to constantly maintain our obedience
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Yeah, if we do our part, Christ will do his part.
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Yeah, and where the reality is that Christ does it all,
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and we don't obey to maintain to earn or to sustain our salvation we obey to please god
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because which is a very different point of view because i feel like when we were part of that
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community it was we obey because we're afraid of god yes and the wrath which we should have a holy
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you know reverence towards christ um but it wasn't the heart was more because of fear than
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out of obedience out of adoration yes and thankfulness for what christ has done for you
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yes and in your heart and in your life and what he saved you from yeah the gospel is
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essentially i don't know who originally said this probably spurgeon because spurgeon says
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everything that's brilliant but um obedience is not the root of your salvation it's the fruit
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of your salvation and so we we don't rest upon our own works but upon the perfect work
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of christ one thing that i've often said is a low view of the law always leads to legalism
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and i'll explain that what what i mean by that is that when we when we view the law
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as if we could keep it, we will try to keep it.
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And when you try to keep the law as a means to be saved,
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you've heard that it is said not to commit adultery.
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but i say to you even if you look at a woman with lust in your heart you've already committed
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adultery with you in her in her in your heart and so you think about that for a second you go
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the pharisees are going wait it's not just what we do it's actually also what we think
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the disciples even say something like who can make it into heaven yeah uh-oh um and so jesus
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and paul and the apostles are their law magnifiers they want you to see that you cannot keep the law
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so that your only option is to run to christ and that was not communicated to us at all in our
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whole time in that season was several years and so there was no grace so imagine how that doctrine
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would permeate into our parenting you know it was really heavy
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uh discipline i mean not physically but just like think of the the the pilgrim's progress
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where he's got this burden on his back and even though that burden was related to salvation
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this was just faulty doctrine for us but once that burden was lifted of our you know our eyes being
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open to the doctrines of grace it felt like such a weight was lifted yeah like a breath of fresh
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share like what oh my goodness you mean that that christ is christ is my righteousness um
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it was yeah and then my salvation is secure in him kept for me and i can make a mistake
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and not worry and not have a panic attack about it because i think i'm sinning and i'm going to
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go to hell if i die right now yeah and you don't want it to lead to hyper calvinism right hyper
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calvinism is that because christ is my righteousness and he will preserve me i can just do
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whatever well that leads back to the you obey because you love christ yes not because you can
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do whatever you want and get away with it yeah and i think once we had that shift we realized
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oh our obedience we weren't working uh for obedience we were working from obedience like
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we were working from the obedience of Christ given to us,
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Like the motive was no longer fear, it was gratitude.
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Gratitude was actually the thing that forced us
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and the punishment rather than they want to please you because you love them and they're
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grateful for all that you have done for them it's a major shift and obviously little little ones
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aren't going to grasp that but as they get older obedience needs to be a joy to them and pleasant
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to them um i always tell people you think obedience is hard try disobedience disobedience
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is way harder it's a life of pain and so we want to show that obedience is a good thing and but it
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doesn't save us um so that was i think one major shift right yeah and just one thing i was just
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thinking about while i was sitting here is another shift when that happened as i recognized i didn't
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recognize it in the in that season but i was so afraid of our pastor and like disappointing him
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instead of disappointing christ and like i wanted to do the right thing this is this this sin nature
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in me being a people pleaser this is why i'm sharing it because if there's women listening
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to this which i assume there's a lot a lot of women generally can struggle with the people
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pleasing thing and i was more afraid of not that he would like hurt me or anything but just like
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disappointing him and letting him down of our pastor than i was of sinning against christ um
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and so yeah the lord definitely opened our eyes to that i'm so grateful i think once you realize
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that you're you know the first and greatest commandment is to love the lord your god with
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all your heart with all your soul with all your mind and to love your neighbor as yourself and
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when you realize that you don't do that basically on a regular minute by minute basis and you're
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already breaking the first and greatest commandment everything you do i mean i i remember earlier
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today i walked by and i watched the towel on the floor and i didn't pick it up okay i didn't pick
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it up even though i knew that was you even though i knew veronica would prefer to pick it up but
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that is i didn't love my neighbor as myself i'm already sinning i'm already i'm already in a
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moment in a situation where i am in need of someone else's righteousness because i have
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lost all of my righteousness it all takes is one sin for you to be eternally unrighteous and now we
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are that's a bigger conversation we were born in sin because of the sin of adam but what i'm saying
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is that that shift helped me as a dad and i'll tell you why i would sit down with the boys after
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that shift and i'd go you know if your brother if valor hit honor i would say hey you know what
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i know what it's like to want to hit somebody i've been there i've actually hit people before
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um i'm talking to him as a as a sinner just like him but that's just down the road further
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it's been more sanctified and so it's not i'm perfect and you're not and let me tell you how
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to be like me it's a it's more of a um hey empathetic yeah and just realizing that i
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understand this is why we both need christ son you know this is we can't maintain our obedience we
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we continue to sin we we need to ask the holy spirit for help and so i feel like that shifted
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us in our home we i think we even like for a season like we wouldn't even know what to do
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we like stopped parenting for like a couple months in the sense of like we didn't know what does this
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look like what does this look like because we were doing it wrong for so long yeah i was like
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i was completely wrong yeah there was a lot of things we were doing that was good but it just
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it was such a major mind shift in both you and i that everything was just kind of put on pause
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for a while and we're just like we got to get some of this stuff straightened out and figure out
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what we're doing and where we're going with this so after having the first foundation which is
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basically you're saved you can't have a gospel-filled home without gospel-filled parents
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who are leaving the home and i would say gospel clarity is the second part and gospel fluency
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is the next part so gospel clarity is something that i'm a pastor so it makes it a little bit
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easier that i'm constantly communicating the gospel i think a great way to get clear on the
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the gospel is to just constantly communicate it to your children. If you can't teach the gospel
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to a seven-year-old, you know, you can't teach it to anybody because the gospel should be simple
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and they should understand it. And you should figure out ways to communicate it on a regular
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basis. So studying the scriptures, listening to great theologians, being in a good gospel-centered
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church that is every week reiterating the gospel um i feel like every week do you feel like every
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week i get to the gospel somehow in my sermons yeah i mean i try i try to get to the i mean i
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definitely think so i mean i'm sure there's been a week here there where you haven't but i would say
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just about every week yeah i'm trying to get to the gospel and gospel clarity will produce
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gospel fluency and gospel fluency is going to range you know my gospel fluency is is greater
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than veronica's but i also spend you know thousands of hours studying so i don't have
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the expectations of the fluency that i have on veronica but veronica certainly
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um communicates the gospel and the mechanics of the gospel throughout the day
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to our children in various ways do you feel babe over the last couple years you've become
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more gospel clear more gospel fluent um i know i have become more gospel fluent in the last few
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years but i'm my biggest critic you know so i'm like i don't know can i explain this correctly
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i'm always worried that i'm going to say something the wrong way um i feel like you you certainly
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can speak up against false gospels yeah like you're sensing like oh wait that's not yeah i
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have discernment i have like right you know my alarm's going off internally when something's
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not right yeah i'm not the best communicator in general and so i'm sure you guys are picking that
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up but um it's uh yeah i mean i i know when something's off for sure yeah and i try my best
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to communicate things clearly and you know god gave me four children to have lots of practice on
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so yeah she does uh a great job on understanding our state of sin understanding our uh need for
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the righteousness of christ knowing that we are eternally saved we're not losing our salvation
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distinguishing between the law which demands something in the gospel which is given to you
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so there's there's lots of conversations i overhear during homeschool time that you guys have
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and it's a thing that you just need to work on in your home gospel clarity will create gospel
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fluency. And we'll talk about our tools that we use over the years to create greater gospel
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clarity, which will result in gospel fluency, which moves on to my next point, which is gospel
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chatter. I don't know. Like think about our kids. Like what do our kids, they talk about the gospel
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a lot, right? Yeah. And they have a lot of questions, especially Valor right now. He's in
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a big question phase um but yeah i mean i would say that christian conversation which the root
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of that is the gospel is majority of just what we talk about in our day-to-day life yeah if that's
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what you're talking about yeah i am and i think about the deuteronomy passage right you talk
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about it during the day when you wake up when you rise up when you walk around like i really feel
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that's true about our home it's everything's brought back to the gospel every discipline
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every correction every discussion we do our family reading times we do our but even if it's not in
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the home like if we um you know there was a season where i was taking the kids on hikes every single
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week and it would be you know seeing the awe of christ in nature things like that and we sing
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songs or the kids are always listening to things two of our kids are very music inclined not
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necessarily playing music but they love music they always want music on um and then there's
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another one of our children that just it doesn't matter to him yeah yeah but we we are
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having the lyrics of those hymns in our home on a regular basis and uh so we we try to produce
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gospel chatter it shouldn't be sports chatter that dominates your home it shouldn't be work
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chatter that dominates or it shouldn't be a okay kids are all going to sit down and have this time
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i mean not that you can't but this is the only time that you ever talk about it yeah um you know
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a 20 minute we're going to sit down we're going to talk about god and the gospel again you should
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be having those moments but that shouldn't be the only time that it's ever brought up yeah it's just
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you know it should be something that's just just gospel chatter something that's just happening
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from the time you wake up to the time you go to go to bed yeah every conversation roots back to
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christ somehow um the next section i have is gospel relationships and so i talked a little
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bit about that about how we discipline and mentoring and teaching you know you're about
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to take aria on a trip to have uh you know uh you know it's a it's an early coming of age trip yeah
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we're not diving full in but you know we've had several little conversations here before
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it's not like I'm going to dump everything on her but it's just more of a one-on-one
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time with her to really just answer any questions that she has and you know I'm spending a lot
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more time with the boys as they're growing older and communicating how are you spending
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that time Dale well skateboarding usually but also they come and talk to me you know
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a home office and i try to communicate why i'm working and i can't spend time with them but even
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skateboarding though like if anybody knows anything about the skateboarding industry you
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know that there's a lot of crude language and some boys that are just weed smoking and yeah
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you see that at the skate park and so those are opportunities for gospel conversation with the
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with those people and with your children yeah and so we you know yeah they come up to me lately and
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you know what why why can't i hang out with you right now or why why can't you help us right now
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and i have to explain hey my role as a father is i have to provide and i have duties and
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responsibilities um i'm working for god not just man um you know you're gonna do this one day when
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you're a man too i want to spend time with you and i will spend time with you later but for now you
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need to understand that this is a priority and this is what God calls me to do. And,
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and so it's having those gospel relationships where everything again is pointed back to Christ
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somehow or scripture. Um, and then again, I think you close out with the two things that
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you talked about, which is really just family devotion and family prayer. I think prayer is
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another way to create frequency of gospel moments in your home um and i mean i i pray in the home a
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couple times a day meals or in the morning with the kids or at night with the kids you pray usually
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with the kids at home school time and they sometimes also you'll have them pray right um
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Um, and that creates multiple frequency touch points of prayer.
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And as a dad, I use prayer as a, I think prayer is also a shepherding tool,
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meaning that prayer is almost a form of preaching.
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Um, we can see that, you know, if you look at the Lord's prayer,
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it's teaching you things in the prayer about the gospel.
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and so you know i don't feel shy about teaching through prayer even though the prayers are
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they're genuine but but i'm trying to pray in a way that actually communicates important truth
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and models and models and so we have that devotion time it it's different in different
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seasons right now it's we're reading this biography series of great saints and that's
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of our devotion time preachers and teachers yeah and i think we mentioned it in the last podcast
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we did and it's not specifically scripture but it creates so many conversation conversations
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around the gospel because it's sharing the testimony of these people and the lives of these
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preachers and so that's been a wonderful shift and then we'll get back to the catechisms and we'll
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get back to you know reading we're always switching out what we're doing yeah you know
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know you're going through that book right now but then when you're done you'll pick up something
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different yeah it's just so having that as a constant part of your home so essentially i'll
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say this you know as i opened up your view of god will translate into your home your home will
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essentially be a reflection of your view of god so if you don't understand grace and you're a moralist
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your house will be a mirror a reflection of that reality and so our hope is to accurately and
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eloquently and clearly reflect the gospel in our home so that we can create a gospel filled home
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and this is one of the foundations of this reality and so on that note that's what we're
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going to have for part one veronica just had to get up to go tend to the crying baby but we hope
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that this content will help you build a glorious Christian home. In part two, as I mentioned
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earlier, we'll share the top tools, including our favorite books, apps, music, podcasts,
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audiobooks, flashcards, catechisms, games, and routines that we have used to really maintain
00:29:14.420
a gospel-filled home. How do we have this sustained gospel message flowing through our
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day-to-day life. So if you'd like to listen to that portion of this episode, again, you can go
00:29:27.880
to relearn.org forward slash app and be a premium subscriber. It's $9.99 a month or $100 for the
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year. And again, it's a great way to support our ministry here at relearn. One last request. If
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you're a regular listener to Welcome Home, would you leave us a review? You just have to tap the
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stars you don't even need to write something but if you do write something veronica and i will
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read your review they are edifying and helpful for us so thanks for joining us in our home
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my name is dale partridge veronica is not here right now but we will see you guys next time