Dale Partridge - The Gospel-Filled Home

00:00:00.000 welcome to our home my name is dale partridge and i'm here with my wife veronica hey hey our hope

00:00:11.620 is to help you cultivate a glorious christian home this episode is titled the gospel filled

00:00:18.280 home if you're new here each episode is broken into two parts part one is available for free

00:00:24.760 on every podcast platform. Part two is exclusively available in the ReLearn app. If you haven't heard

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00:01:30.280 Anyways, in part one of today's episode, we're going to be discussing how to produce a gospel

00:01:36.900 filled home.

00:01:38.340 In part two, we're going to share the top tools, including books, apps, music, podcasts,

00:01:45.620 audio books flashcards catechism games routines that we've used to maintain a gospel filled home

00:01:53.320 so on that note let's open up with part one how to produce a gospel filled home

00:02:00.940 your view of god will translate into your home your home will be a reflection of your view of

00:02:10.180 God, his promises and his mission. And so we're going to talk about the first things first is

00:02:18.120 that to create a gospel-filled home, you need to be a husband and wife or an adult who knows the

00:02:27.280 gospel and has been saved. And so babe, why don't you share a little bit about our experience

00:02:35.440 really understanding the gospel uh you know coming to faith and then really not having a lot of

00:02:41.680 clarity and how understanding the gospel of grace has shaped and changed us a bit yeah so um the

00:02:51.980 lord saved me when i was 18. i am now 34 so it's been a little while um and i yeah i was saved in

00:03:01.780 charismatic non-denominational heavily Pentecostal leaning church down in

00:03:08.440 Southern California and I didn't know anything really I mean my best my

00:03:15.220 childhood best friend growing up I went to church with them and his family all

00:03:19.420 the time and they were his parents are Christians but my friend and I were not

00:03:24.300 we thought we were we'd say we were but we certainly weren't and then the Lord

00:03:30.400 when i was 18 um and i did not grow up in a christian home and so i didn't have a spiritual

00:03:38.880 leader i didn't have a spiritual head other than my pastor but this pastor was you know over a

00:03:45.520 5 000 person congregation and so it's not like i was able to have one-on-one meetings or

00:03:51.360 discipleship or anything like that so i would go to the classes that they offered there at the

00:03:55.680 church and those are beneficial and helpful for me um at least early on in my journey but again

00:04:01.040 i was saved at 18 and then i met you or at least started hanging out with you i'd already met you

00:04:06.400 but started hanging out with you when i was 19 and then we're married at 20. so the lord you

00:04:11.040 know guided me and protected me during that um sure there were times where um we fell into

00:04:19.200 myself and you um separately and also together into um faulty doctrine um as we were just trying

00:04:29.520 to figure out our way and our journey on that yeah think about how maybe we were falling into

00:04:36.560 legalism yeah i'm going into that right okay so um yeah we got married um we're at a small church

00:04:43.200 and then we went to a mega church and then we moved to oregon and went to no church

00:04:48.560 and but during that season you were kind of going through this um processing of what is

00:04:55.840 what is church supposed to be like what does it look like and so you felt a heavily heavy um you

00:05:01.040 know your heart was heavy leaning towards a home church and then we had just moved to oregon we met

00:05:06.240 some people um some old friends that had pastored a home church and over time we started going there

00:05:14.560 after we got to know them a little bit and um coming from the southern california culture

00:05:23.120 this particular church was the most i guess you could say outwardly looking christian godly home

00:05:30.240 and family that we had ever seen we're used to the typical southern california christian mega

00:05:36.960 churches where you know you're in and out people are dressed like they're going to the club at

00:05:42.560 church on sunday smoke machines tigers on the stage that type of background is um where we had

00:05:50.240 kind of come from and so going from that and that being all we know to seeing this small little home

00:05:57.360 church with fruitful families that had lots you know lots of children that generally got along

00:06:03.360 together and um had a lot of head knowledge um and so we were really attracted to that because

00:06:11.360 you we were just on this journey of trying to figure out you know just a spiritual journey of

00:06:16.800 what does god want for the church what's gotta walk for our family there was a lot of personal

00:06:21.920 holiness and in the sense of um morality there was heavy morality heavy uh outward outward

00:06:31.760 structure of reverence you know we were singing hymns for the first time we were studying our

00:06:38.880 bibles for the first time there was um personal discipleship personal discipleship you know we

00:06:44.880 were taken under under their wing and um you know taught biblical manhood and biblical womanhood

00:06:50.880 what does that look like because when we entered that our we were totally you know i wouldn't say

00:06:56.240 flipped upside down i'd say you've always been the leader but it was just you know a mess yes

00:07:01.200 well it was a in the community we were a part of was a high call of obedience it was

00:07:05.840 it was hyper obedience and i don't know if you can say that hyper obedience is a bad thing but

00:07:11.040 it was a community that was more focused on the obedience than than grace or the reality that

00:07:20.880 we need the obedience of Christ.

00:07:22.520 The big thing that was missing was that.

00:07:24.000 Yeah.

00:07:24.520 Is that we were taught that obedience maintains our salvation.

00:07:31.740 Maybe not those exact words, but that was certainly the-

00:07:34.460 It was implied.

00:07:35.360 It was implied.

00:07:35.900 And we didn't understand what I think is one of the central doctrines of the gospel is that we don't rest upon our obedience, but upon the obedience of Christ.

00:07:48.860 So Christ kept the law for us perfectly.

00:07:52.500 And he's given us that righteousness, his righteousness by faith.

00:07:58.660 And we've essentially imputed our sins.

00:08:02.980 Christ has imputed our sins to him.

00:08:05.660 He pays the price of our sins, which is death on a cross.

00:08:11.800 And then he returns.

00:08:15.780 So we give him our sin.

00:08:17.940 he gives us his righteousness through faith it's an incredible reality uh i think of what is it

00:08:25.540 second corinthians 5 20 um he made him who knew no sin to be sin um for us that we might become

00:08:33.420 the righteousness of god and when you don't believe that christ is your righteousness and

00:08:43.700 that you need an alien righteousness given to you because you have no righteousness of your own

00:08:48.780 i think it's james i forgot the exact verse but it's like if you don't keep the whole law

00:08:53.540 and you fail even at one point you're guilty of all of it and so we we didn't understand how

00:09:01.240 unrighteous we were and that our we thought we could make ourselves righteous yes by being

00:09:08.600 obedient and following the rules essentially and we would sustain our righteousness right

00:09:13.800 yeah like we would we would and we would need to you know repent after sins because

00:09:19.560 in this view you could lose your salvation and you don't ever really know when you lose your

00:09:24.600 salvation in this theological arena there was no doctrine of the preservation of the saints

00:09:33.160 or the perseverance of the saints or once saved always saved whatever you want to call it

00:09:36.520 And so we had to constantly maintain our obedience

00:09:42.320 as a way to at least sustain our salvation,

00:09:47.160 maybe not earn our salvation,

00:09:49.160 but at least sustain our salvation.

00:09:50.820 We were essentially collaborators with Christ

00:09:54.120 instead of Christ essentially doing it all.

00:09:56.720 Yeah, if we do our part, Christ will do his part.

00:09:59.780 Yeah, and where the reality is that Christ does it all,

00:10:03.160 and we don't obey to maintain to earn or to sustain our salvation we obey to please god

00:10:12.280 because which is a very different point of view because i feel like when we were part of that

00:10:17.480 community it was we obey because we're afraid of god yes and the wrath which we should have a holy

00:10:24.840 you know reverence towards christ um but it wasn't the heart was more because of fear than

00:10:34.600 out of obedience out of adoration yes and thankfulness for what christ has done for you

00:10:41.000 yes and in your heart and in your life and what he saved you from yeah the gospel is

00:10:47.240 essentially i don't know who originally said this probably spurgeon because spurgeon says

00:10:50.280 everything that's brilliant but um obedience is not the root of your salvation it's the fruit

00:10:56.760 of your salvation and so we we don't rest upon our own works but upon the perfect work

00:11:02.920 of christ one thing that i've often said is a low view of the law always leads to legalism

00:11:12.360 and i'll explain that what what i mean by that is that when we when we view the law

00:11:17.320 as if we could keep it, we will try to keep it.

00:11:20.980 And when you try to keep the law as a means to be saved,

00:11:23.940 you become a legalist.

00:11:25.700 And so if you have a low view of the law,

00:11:27.020 like the Pharisees had,

00:11:27.940 they had a low view of the law.

00:11:28.960 They thought they could keep it.

00:11:30.780 Jesus had to come in and explain to them

00:11:33.840 the law was massively bigger

00:11:37.820 than they could even understand.

00:11:39.260 It was a Mount Everest.

00:11:41.300 It will crush them.

00:11:42.680 He would say things like,

00:11:43.940 you've heard that it is said not to commit adultery.

00:11:47.320 but i say to you even if you look at a woman with lust in your heart you've already committed

00:11:52.900 adultery with you in her in her in your heart and so you think about that for a second you go

00:11:57.320 the pharisees are going wait it's not just what we do it's actually also what we think

00:12:01.640 the disciples even say something like who can make it into heaven yeah uh-oh um and so jesus

00:12:09.920 and paul and the apostles are their law magnifiers they want you to see that you cannot keep the law

00:12:16.740 so that your only option is to run to christ and that was not communicated to us at all in our

00:12:24.700 whole time in that season was several years and so there was no grace so imagine how that doctrine

00:12:33.300 would permeate into our parenting you know it was really heavy

00:12:41.540 uh discipline i mean not physically but just like think of the the the pilgrim's progress

00:12:49.440 where he's got this burden on his back and even though that burden was related to salvation

00:12:56.080 this was just faulty doctrine for us but once that burden was lifted of our you know our eyes being

00:13:03.960 open to the doctrines of grace it felt like such a weight was lifted yeah like a breath of fresh

00:13:10.200 share like what oh my goodness you mean that that christ is christ is my righteousness um

00:13:18.720 it was yeah and then my salvation is secure in him kept for me and i can make a mistake

00:13:27.120 and not worry and not have a panic attack about it because i think i'm sinning and i'm going to

00:13:33.000 go to hell if i die right now yeah and you don't want it to lead to hyper calvinism right hyper

00:13:37.680 calvinism is that because christ is my righteousness and he will preserve me i can just do 0.99

00:13:43.120 whatever well that leads back to the you obey because you love christ yes not because you can

00:13:50.500 do whatever you want and get away with it yeah and i think once we had that shift we realized

00:13:55.280 oh our obedience we weren't working uh for obedience we were working from obedience like

00:14:04.220 we were working from the obedience of Christ given to us,

00:14:10.640 that motivated us.

00:14:11.660 Like the motive was no longer fear, it was gratitude.

00:14:16.860 Gratitude was actually the thing that forced us

00:14:19.620 to want to obey,

00:14:22.640 which is a way better way to raise your kids.

00:14:25.440 If your kids are obeying because they fear you

00:14:30.680 and the punishment rather than they want to please you because you love them and they're

00:14:37.740 grateful for all that you have done for them it's a major shift and obviously little little ones

00:14:44.800 aren't going to grasp that but as they get older obedience needs to be a joy to them and pleasant

00:14:52.960 to them um i always tell people you think obedience is hard try disobedience disobedience

00:15:01.200 is way harder it's a life of pain and so we want to show that obedience is a good thing and but it

00:15:08.720 doesn't save us um so that was i think one major shift right yeah and just one thing i was just

00:15:15.980 thinking about while i was sitting here is another shift when that happened as i recognized i didn't

00:15:21.580 recognize it in the in that season but i was so afraid of our pastor and like disappointing him

00:15:28.320 instead of disappointing christ and like i wanted to do the right thing this is this this sin nature

00:15:35.300 in me being a people pleaser this is why i'm sharing it because if there's women listening

00:15:39.400 to this which i assume there's a lot a lot of women generally can struggle with the people

00:15:44.740 pleasing thing and i was more afraid of not that he would like hurt me or anything but just like

00:15:50.060 disappointing him and letting him down of our pastor than i was of sinning against christ um

00:15:57.260 and so yeah the lord definitely opened our eyes to that i'm so grateful i think once you realize

00:16:02.540 that you're you know the first and greatest commandment is to love the lord your god with

00:16:05.740 all your heart with all your soul with all your mind and to love your neighbor as yourself and

00:16:09.340 when you realize that you don't do that basically on a regular minute by minute basis and you're

00:16:13.660 already breaking the first and greatest commandment everything you do i mean i i remember earlier

00:16:20.220 today i walked by and i watched the towel on the floor and i didn't pick it up okay i didn't pick

00:16:26.060 it up even though i knew that was you even though i knew veronica would prefer to pick it up but

00:16:31.660 that is i didn't love my neighbor as myself i'm already sinning i'm already i'm already in a

00:16:36.220 moment in a situation where i am in need of someone else's righteousness because i have

00:16:42.620 lost all of my righteousness it all takes is one sin for you to be eternally unrighteous and now we

00:16:49.180 are that's a bigger conversation we were born in sin because of the sin of adam but what i'm saying

00:16:55.100 is that that shift helped me as a dad and i'll tell you why i would sit down with the boys after

00:17:02.780 that shift and i'd go you know if your brother if valor hit honor i would say hey you know what

00:17:07.500 i know what it's like to want to hit somebody i've been there i've actually hit people before

00:17:13.600 um i'm talking to him as a as a sinner just like him but that's just down the road further

00:17:21.720 it's been more sanctified and so it's not i'm perfect and you're not and let me tell you how

00:17:29.520 to be like me it's a it's more of a um hey empathetic yeah and just realizing that i

00:17:37.060 understand this is why we both need christ son you know this is we can't maintain our obedience we

00:17:45.460 we continue to sin we we need to ask the holy spirit for help and so i feel like that shifted

00:17:52.420 us in our home we i think we even like for a season like we wouldn't even know what to do

00:17:59.220 we like stopped parenting for like a couple months in the sense of like we didn't know what does this

00:18:03.220 look like what does this look like because we were doing it wrong for so long yeah i was like

00:18:07.780 i was completely wrong yeah there was a lot of things we were doing that was good but it just

00:18:11.540 it was such a major mind shift in both you and i that everything was just kind of put on pause

00:18:17.140 for a while and we're just like we got to get some of this stuff straightened out and figure out

00:18:21.540 what we're doing and where we're going with this so after having the first foundation which is

00:18:28.500 basically you're saved you can't have a gospel-filled home without gospel-filled parents

00:18:33.780 who are leaving the home and i would say gospel clarity is the second part and gospel fluency

00:18:42.980 is the next part so gospel clarity is something that i'm a pastor so it makes it a little bit

00:18:49.700 easier that i'm constantly communicating the gospel i think a great way to get clear on the

00:18:54.500 the gospel is to just constantly communicate it to your children. If you can't teach the gospel

00:19:00.260 to a seven-year-old, you know, you can't teach it to anybody because the gospel should be simple

00:19:06.200 and they should understand it. And you should figure out ways to communicate it on a regular

00:19:10.660 basis. So studying the scriptures, listening to great theologians, being in a good gospel-centered

00:19:19.020 church that is every week reiterating the gospel um i feel like every week do you feel like every

00:19:27.820 week i get to the gospel somehow in my sermons yeah i mean i try i try to get to the i mean i

00:19:32.780 definitely think so i mean i'm sure there's been a week here there where you haven't but i would say

00:19:37.180 just about every week yeah i'm trying to get to the gospel and gospel clarity will produce

00:19:44.960 gospel fluency and gospel fluency is going to range you know my gospel fluency is is greater

00:19:52.140 than veronica's but i also spend you know thousands of hours studying so i don't have

00:19:58.580 the expectations of the fluency that i have on veronica but veronica certainly

00:20:04.980 um communicates the gospel and the mechanics of the gospel throughout the day

00:20:13.680 to our children in various ways do you feel babe over the last couple years you've become

00:20:20.520 more gospel clear more gospel fluent um i know i have become more gospel fluent in the last few

00:20:28.900 years but i'm my biggest critic you know so i'm like i don't know can i explain this correctly

00:20:35.540 i'm always worried that i'm going to say something the wrong way um i feel like you you certainly

00:20:40.820 can speak up against false gospels yeah like you're sensing like oh wait that's not yeah i

00:20:47.540 have discernment i have like right you know my alarm's going off internally when something's

00:20:52.340 not right yeah i'm not the best communicator in general and so i'm sure you guys are picking that

00:20:58.180 up but um it's uh yeah i mean i i know when something's off for sure yeah and i try my best

00:21:09.140 to communicate things clearly and you know god gave me four children to have lots of practice on

00:21:14.580 so yeah she does uh a great job on understanding our state of sin understanding our uh need for

00:21:25.300 the righteousness of christ knowing that we are eternally saved we're not losing our salvation

00:21:32.500 distinguishing between the law which demands something in the gospel which is given to you

00:21:38.260 so there's there's lots of conversations i overhear during homeschool time that you guys have

00:21:43.620 and it's a thing that you just need to work on in your home gospel clarity will create gospel

00:21:50.580 fluency. And we'll talk about our tools that we use over the years to create greater gospel

00:21:57.440 clarity, which will result in gospel fluency, which moves on to my next point, which is gospel

00:22:03.680 chatter. I don't know. Like think about our kids. Like what do our kids, they talk about the gospel

00:22:11.540 a lot, right? Yeah. And they have a lot of questions, especially Valor right now. He's in

00:22:16.320 a big question phase um but yeah i mean i would say that christian conversation which the root

00:22:25.120 of that is the gospel is majority of just what we talk about in our day-to-day life yeah if that's

00:22:32.520 what you're talking about yeah i am and i think about the deuteronomy passage right you talk

00:22:36.360 about it during the day when you wake up when you rise up when you walk around like i really feel

00:22:40.260 that's true about our home it's everything's brought back to the gospel every discipline

00:22:45.660 every correction every discussion we do our family reading times we do our but even if it's not in

00:22:51.340 the home like if we um you know there was a season where i was taking the kids on hikes every single

00:22:56.140 week and it would be you know seeing the awe of christ in nature things like that and we sing

00:23:03.260 songs or the kids are always listening to things two of our kids are very music inclined not

00:23:09.580 necessarily playing music but they love music they always want music on um and then there's

00:23:15.500 another one of our children that just it doesn't matter to him yeah yeah but we we are

00:23:23.900 having the lyrics of those hymns in our home on a regular basis and uh so we we try to produce

00:23:30.700 gospel chatter it shouldn't be sports chatter that dominates your home it shouldn't be work

00:23:35.020 chatter that dominates or it shouldn't be a okay kids are all going to sit down and have this time

00:23:40.220 i mean not that you can't but this is the only time that you ever talk about it yeah um you know

00:23:45.500 a 20 minute we're going to sit down we're going to talk about god and the gospel again you should

00:23:50.620 be having those moments but that shouldn't be the only time that it's ever brought up yeah it's just

00:23:55.500 you know it should be something that's just just gospel chatter something that's just happening

00:24:01.180 from the time you wake up to the time you go to go to bed yeah every conversation roots back to

00:24:05.100 christ somehow um the next section i have is gospel relationships and so i talked a little

00:24:12.620 bit about that about how we discipline and mentoring and teaching you know you're about

00:24:19.660 to take aria on a trip to have uh you know uh you know it's a it's an early coming of age trip yeah

00:24:27.980 we're not diving full in but you know we've had several little conversations here before

00:24:34.000 it's not like I'm going to dump everything on her but it's just more of a one-on-one

00:24:38.020 time with her to really just answer any questions that she has and you know I'm spending a lot

00:24:44.000 more time with the boys as they're growing older and communicating how are you spending

00:24:48.840 that time Dale well skateboarding usually but also they come and talk to me you know

00:24:55.620 a home office and i try to communicate why i'm working and i can't spend time with them but even

00:25:02.740 skateboarding though like if anybody knows anything about the skateboarding industry you

00:25:08.180 know that there's a lot of crude language and some boys that are just weed smoking and yeah

00:25:16.180 you see that at the skate park and so those are opportunities for gospel conversation with the

00:25:23.140 with those people and with your children yeah and so we you know yeah they come up to me lately and

00:25:30.100 you know what why why can't i hang out with you right now or why why can't you help us right now

00:25:34.040 and i have to explain hey my role as a father is i have to provide and i have duties and

00:25:39.540 responsibilities um i'm working for god not just man um you know you're gonna do this one day when

00:25:46.680 you're a man too i want to spend time with you and i will spend time with you later but for now you

00:25:52.380 need to understand that this is a priority and this is what God calls me to do. And,

00:25:56.180 and so it's having those gospel relationships where everything again is pointed back to Christ

00:26:02.620 somehow or scripture. Um, and then again, I think you close out with the two things that

00:26:09.480 you talked about, which is really just family devotion and family prayer. I think prayer is

00:26:15.900 another way to create frequency of gospel moments in your home um and i mean i i pray in the home a

00:26:25.820 couple times a day meals or in the morning with the kids or at night with the kids you pray usually

00:26:32.700 with the kids at home school time and they sometimes also you'll have them pray right um

00:26:38.300 Um, and that creates multiple frequency touch points of prayer.

00:26:44.860 And as a dad, I use prayer as a, I think prayer is also a shepherding tool,

00:26:51.840 meaning that prayer is almost a form of preaching.

00:26:55.900 Um, we can see that, you know, if you look at the Lord's prayer,

00:26:59.240 it's teaching you things in the prayer about the gospel.

00:27:03.340 and so you know i don't feel shy about teaching through prayer even though the prayers are

00:27:10.940 they're genuine but but i'm trying to pray in a way that actually communicates important truth

00:27:18.160 and models and models and so we have that devotion time it it's different in different

00:27:26.320 seasons right now it's we're reading this biography series of great saints and that's

00:27:31.620 of our devotion time preachers and teachers yeah and i think we mentioned it in the last podcast

00:27:36.180 we did and it's not specifically scripture but it creates so many conversation conversations

00:27:44.020 around the gospel because it's sharing the testimony of these people and the lives of these

00:27:48.340 preachers and so that's been a wonderful shift and then we'll get back to the catechisms and we'll

00:27:54.900 get back to you know reading we're always switching out what we're doing yeah you know

00:28:00.180 know you're going through that book right now but then when you're done you'll pick up something

00:28:03.780 different yeah it's just so having that as a constant part of your home so essentially i'll

00:28:09.500 say this you know as i opened up your view of god will translate into your home your home will

00:28:14.580 essentially be a reflection of your view of god so if you don't understand grace and you're a moralist

00:28:20.720 your house will be a mirror a reflection of that reality and so our hope is to accurately and

00:28:28.340 eloquently and clearly reflect the gospel in our home so that we can create a gospel filled home

00:28:36.260 and this is one of the foundations of this reality and so on that note that's what we're

00:28:46.800 going to have for part one veronica just had to get up to go tend to the crying baby but we hope

00:28:53.280 that this content will help you build a glorious Christian home. In part two, as I mentioned

00:28:58.940 earlier, we'll share the top tools, including our favorite books, apps, music, podcasts,

00:29:06.980 audiobooks, flashcards, catechisms, games, and routines that we have used to really maintain

00:29:14.420 a gospel-filled home. How do we have this sustained gospel message flowing through our

00:29:21.220 day-to-day life. So if you'd like to listen to that portion of this episode, again, you can go

00:29:27.880 to relearn.org forward slash app and be a premium subscriber. It's $9.99 a month or $100 for the

00:29:38.020 year. And again, it's a great way to support our ministry here at relearn. One last request. If

00:29:44.760 you're a regular listener to Welcome Home, would you leave us a review? You just have to tap the

00:29:50.960 stars you don't even need to write something but if you do write something veronica and i will

00:29:56.780 read your review they are edifying and helpful for us so thanks for joining us in our home

00:30:03.180 my name is dale partridge veronica is not here right now but we will see you guys next time

Dale Partridge - January 24, 2024

The Gospel-Filled Home

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