Ultimate Marriage #10： 5 Sensitive Questions Most Couple Have Never Had Answered
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Summary
In this episode, we answer a lot of the questions that you guys sent in! We also talk about the importance of a biblical marriage community and how important it is to have a Biblical marriage mentor program. If you are interested in being a part of the Ultimate Marriage Mentor Program, go to ultimatemarriage.net/joinnow and become a member!
Transcript
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welcome to ultimate marriage today we are going to be doing a little bit of Q&A usually we have
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a bit of a topical conversation for you guys but today we're just gonna be answering a lot
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of the questions that we get sent in yeah we usually have a time at the end of a podcast to
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answer one or two questions, but we get so many questions now, um, that we feel bad that we're
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not getting to some of them because some of them are really, really good. And I think we have some
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great questions to answer, uh, for you guys today. Um, a couple of things I wanted to announce is
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one, I could be wrong, but I think we might be as of now the most highly rated and the most
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rated marriage podcast on iTunes. Okay. That's a crazy statement. So thank you guys for leaving
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your reviews. I think we have over 700 and something, almost 800 reviews, which is a
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reason is because of those reviews. So thank you. Yeah. So thank you. So if you guys, um, again,
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would be willing to leave a review on iTunes, all you do is just tap the stars. You don't even need
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to write anything. If you want to write something, we like, we look at every single review and read
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it. So if you want to write it, write it. If you don't, don't. Also, again, if you're listening to
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this on iTunes, just know that you can also listen to this as a YouTube video. We record this. We're
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in our studio right now recording. Our kids are sleeping in the other building because we're in
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our studio outside of our property. We have a monitor, though, so we can see them. Yeah, we can
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see them. And, um, and we're leaving for vacation tomorrow. Yep. Tomorrow morning. Yeah. So we're
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going to Idaho. Um, yeah. So by the time you guys are listening to this podcast, we will be in
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Idaho. We will be in Idaho. Yeah. Um, we're not ahead on our podcasts with like we're recording
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this and these are going out and I wish we were, but we're not because we've just been walking
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through some hard stuff and we haven't been able to have a chance to catch up. So, um, a couple
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things. The content today is possibly on some of the questions is a little sensitive. So if you're
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listening to this and there's children around or you have it on blast because there's public ears,
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you just might want to be careful because there's some sexual conversation that we're going to be
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having today. I'm glad that you said that. Yeah. Just reading through our Q&A, I was like,
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hopefully nobody's listening to this with their kids in the car. Yeah. And so also a couple of
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things I want to say is that these questions, they're great questions. They are a bit of an
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evidence that people don't have somebody to turn to in their real life to ask these questions.
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And that's sad because the Lord wants us to have that biblical community. So again,
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we want to encourage you guys to get biblical community established so that you guys can have
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these types of questions, not through a podcast, but also through, I should say, not just through
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a podcast because it is good. It is good content for us to have a conversation about, but also with
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a true biblical community of other families or other couples that are walking out the scriptures
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with you. So yeah, let's dive in. Oh, you know what? There's another announcement that I want
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to make. If you guys are not listening or if you guys are not enrolled currently in our Ultimate
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Marriage program, we have a one-year marriage mentor program. Some of you guys have heard
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about it when we do our little ad in the middle of our show. We are collecting people who want to
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be notified now. We have several hundred people waiting to be in the next group. We have currently
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370 couples that are in our first group, which is a one-year program. It's awesome. We go into
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super detail on what it means to have a biblical marriage. And it's very fun. We have a great
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community, tons of questions in our private Facebook group. If you're interested in being
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involved in the next group, go to ultimate marriage.com forward slash notify and just put
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your, your, um, email name and phone number in there and we won't spam you. I promise, but we
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will reach out to you guys soon. Um, okay. Veronica is going to read some of these questions and
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okay guys, let's get started. So question runner, well, actually before we get into question number
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one, um, I just wanted to say that a lot of these questions that we get sent or they get sent in
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are repetitive questions a lot of the same types of questions from different people and so we kind
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of condensed them and we chose the questions based off the ones that are kind of submitted the most
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yeah totally yeah so go ahead and read number one all righty so let's get started now question
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number one my fiance and i are in school still and when we get married i will be working full
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time to provide while he is in grad school full time if god designed the woman's role to be the
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homemaker, is it unbiblical for her to be working a job outside of the home? Yeah, so a couple things
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that I want to say. First thing is, you know, her question stated there, is it unbiblical for her?
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Oh, God designed the woman's role to be the homemaker. So one is that I believe that God
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designed the wife's role to be the homemaker. At least that's the scriptural perspective on it.
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Now, does it kind of imply that that's a woman's role? Sure, but it's directly implied as a wifely
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duty, not necessarily a single woman's duty. Now, can a single woman keep a home? Absolutely.
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We know lots of single women that keep a fantastic home. But again, that doctrine is very much
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specific to a wifely duty. And the reason is, is that if you have your single life, when you give
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that single life up for a marital life, that marital life has roles associated with it. And
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you are no longer pursuing as a single adult, you're actually pursuing what God says the marital
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role. You are actually somebody's helper at that point, fulfilling the call that God has on your
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life together as a couple. And in that category or in that marital role, one of the jobs is to
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keep the home. Yeah, it reminds me of the scripture, Titus 2. It's talking to the older women
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specifically, but all of us women are older than somebody. Yeah, and the idea is the older women
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teaching the younger women. Yeah, how to love their husbands, how to love their children,
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to be discreet, chaste, to be keeper at home, meaning the heart of your ministry should be in
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the home or at least stem from the home. Yeah. So if you're a woman, if you're a woman or a wife,
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I mean, specifically a wife, the heart of your ministry should be in the home. And it's very
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difficult to accomplish that if you're gone all the time. It's very hard to have the heart of
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your ministry stemming from the home, if you're working 40, 50, 60 hours a week, if you have a
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40-hour job, you're gone generally about 50 hours a week because of the commute time and the lunch
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times between there. So it's a lot of commitment to be out of the home. And if you said that you
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had kids, I know you guys are not married yet, I would say this would be different. I don't think
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that it would be wise. If this was your forever plan, I don't think that would be wise either.
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But because this is a season, because this is a, hey, the way that I'm actually going to help my
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husband is that I'm going to work so he could finish some school, and then we're going to go
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flip back into our proper marital roles, where he is the provider, the general provider protector,
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all the instruction of providing in the scriptures, do talk to men to do that. And then all the
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nurturing the home keeping and keeping all that other side together, especially when there's
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children in the picture are generally pointed towards the wives. And so, um, getting back in
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that perspective, I think is important. Yeah. Because a full-time wife with a part, sorry,
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I messed that line up. A, uh, a full-time home with a part-time wife and mother is not a healthy
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place to be. No, it's a very dangerous place to be in terms of just a, yeah, being absent, um,
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from that and there's so many full-time homes with part-time mothers right now and that's
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actually that's not there's is there not enough work to do no i was gonna say our homes our
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husbands our children require a lot more of our love our care our attention than what we'd be
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able to give them if we worked only part-time in the home yeah oh i just go like is there any way
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that you could possibly have a part-time job without compromising your ministry compromising
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I mean, there's so much work for Veronica here that she can barely keep up.
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There's no, like, she can barely keep up with these podcasts in terms of just us getting out here.
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We're, you know, I'm helping her with notes and we're having a conversation before, but it's a lot of work.
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This is not an option for every woman out there.
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But if this is you and you are working full time or you're even working part time,
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I just want to encourage you to have the conversation with your husband.
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to be working towards getting back into the biblical role
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Yeah, the last episode we talked about money is that, you know,
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so much, we desire so much that we put these pressures on our income
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In reality, we can actually kind of start cutting some of those expenses
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so that we can get into where the husband provides
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Now, if there's no kids, again, that's a different thing, because you can keep the home and still have a full-time job, in my opinion.
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And I don't think there's anything unbiblical about having a job as a woman or a wife.
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However, when it compromises your ability to fulfill your first ministry, then it becomes a problem.
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Get back into your roles when that season ends.
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Get back into your roles when children become part of the picture and set yourself up to multiply and set yourself up to produce godly children and to build a godly home.
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It's not unbiblical to work as a woman as long as it doesn't compromise your first ministry.
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So, I am away from my wife often for work and really struggle with the sexuality component.
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I know pornography is sinful, but what about masturbation?
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Is there a way for that to be healthy in a marriage?
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I just imagine everybody blushing when they hear that word, right?
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Okay, so this is a good question because I think it's some of the questions that a lot of people have,
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And so I'm going to answer it with some scripture.
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And I actually know there's lots of military husbands.
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There's lots of people that have work schedules that take them away.
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And I want to bring scripture to bear down on that context.
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do not deprive one another except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting
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and prayer and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self
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control. So one, that scripture tells us that we shouldn't be depriving our, setting ourselves up,
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our lives up, our schedules up in a way that deprives our bodies from each other. You know,
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if you're like gone for a couple days, it's not a big deal.
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But if you're these people that are, I'm gone for two weeks or three months or two months at a time,
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I would really encourage you, if it's possible, to reconsider your career path.
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I've constantly heard in the marriage ministry, people that are away from each other all the time
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Pornography, sexual sin, sexual infidelity, adultery, all types of stuff
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that's happening. So I would encourage you, remember that if you feel called to that job,
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remember that God's calling on your life will not compromise your first ministry, which is your
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wife or your husband and your family. And so that's the first thing is be very careful
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on just having a life that puts you away from each other for long periods of time.
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um the second part uh do you have anything to add to that no okay um first corinthians 7 4 the
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verse right before the verse that i just read says uh and this is kind of approaching the
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masturbation conversation which is no intention to rhyme there but i guess we'll bring some humor
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in it um is the wife it says the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband
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does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
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So in reality, you know, masturbation is ultimately, you don't really have that choice
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because actually my body is actually, I don't have authority over it, but my wife does,
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Veronica does. And Veronica doesn't have authority over her body, but I do. And so
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my opinion is that sex by yourself is sex outside of marriage. Now, I want to give you some context
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on that because that's a pretty bold statement. Now, if your spouse knows about it, if your spouse
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approves it, if your thoughts and intentions are pointed toward your spouse and not committing
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adultery in your heart. You're not doing it in secret. You're not doing it in secret. And I know
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I know that there is lots of people listening today that do this in secret, and that is not okay.
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One, again, your spouse has authority over your own body or over your body.
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They need to be involved in it if they can be in terms of, and, you know, this happens all the time.
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I mean, Veronica, you can talk about just the reality of kid life.
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um is that that during seasons of children there's times where we we can't um yeah i mean if
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i'm 38 39 weeks pregnant and just absolutely extremely uncomfortable or or the eight weeks
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after or yeah it's usually about six weeks for most women for for me i take longer to heal so
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lucky dale gets to wait a good eight to ten weeks at least yeah um but yeah you just kind of have
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to get creative you do is um our elder likes to say there's more than one way to skin a cat
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yeah so um i think that you just need to take into consideration um your spouse's needs and
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desires and if you're away then have those sometimes awkward and hard conversations they
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are they're awkward and hard they're awkward and hard when you're not used to having those
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conversations the more you have them the more you have them the less awkward they get and the less
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uncomfortable they get and this is protecting your marriage yeah it's total proactive protecting
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your marriage um but yeah it just gets way less awkward and uncomfortable because it's just
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faced with reality that if you are used to being intimate with your spouse
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you know every few days or however long your frequency is and then all of a sudden that's
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taken away because of a work trip or they you're leaving on a trip for some reason or your
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postpartum or your postpartum whatever it is or health issues um then yeah you need to have those
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conversations with your spouse yeah and i mean it could be as simple i mean veronica will as a wife
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pay attention to this because veronica will ask me in those seasons that we have those seasons
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you know with postpartum or whatever she'll ask me how you doing you know and those are are you
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struggling are you struggling yeah and it's just proactive stuff and i know it's vulnerable and
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it's awkward to even talk about but it's really good for your marriage and just have the conversation
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to protect your marriage there um and you know there's there's not um there's not a lot of
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clarity on this area we're taking principles of scripture and applying to them to that so i hold
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this doctrine loosely in terms of, you know, is it sinful? Is it not sinful? That's my take on it,
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what I shared with you a few minutes ago. But one statement that I always say is that
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where scripture is clear, God looks at our actions. Where scripture is obscure,
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God looks at our hearts. And so are you trying to do something, you know, secretively? You know,
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are you away from your wife, you know, not telling her, and when she does ask, you actually say,
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But hey, very, very common one that we get a lot.
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I hear this question pretty frequently, and I would say just let him see you reading the scriptures.
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When you wake up in the morning, go downstairs or wherever your kitchen is, make yourself a cup of coffee and sit down and start reading the Bible.
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And if he's open to it, you know, maybe he's not, you know, hard line, shut off to the word of God.
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I would just try and engage him in a conversation and say, hey, I read something really interesting.
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Try and engage and pique his interest in whatever it is that you're reading.
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But if not, I would, you know, lean back on Scripture in 1 Peter 3.1, which we have read a million times in this podcast.
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And it's wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands that even if some do not obey the word,
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they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your pure conduct accompanied by reverence.
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so I just want to highlight that part where it says without a word if he is shut off to it then
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just do it anyway read the scriptures without a word though you don't need to necessarily say
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anything to him but if you're following the scriptures the Holy Spirit has a power of
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of moving and working in your husband's heart accompanied with prayer yeah and know this that
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you know if you have a non-believing husband the scriptures still apply in terms of you know
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wives, be submissive to your own husbands as to the Lord, that way, that scripture means to be
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submissive into all things that are lawful, meaning that things that aren't going to be
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making you sin against the Lord and things that aren't illegal. And the reason I say that again
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is Romans 12, 2 talks about God's perfect will. And we know that Romans 13 says that we need to
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be following the laws of the land as Christians. And so I don't think that Paul is going to force
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you in a position in that doctrine to disobey one of his other doctrines that was written by
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the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. So again, that's my take on that scripture. And so a couple
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things, yeah, on that scripture. I like the word where it says, okay, I'm going to read it,
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wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they
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without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when
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they observe. So that word is important, when they
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observe. Your husband will observe. And he's not
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going to just observe your Bible reading. He's going to observe if you're a hypocrite
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or not. Well, it says observe your pure conduct accompanied
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by reverence. Yeah, so he's going to find out, oh, cool. So he's going to be
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watching to see the authenticity of that scripture permeating throughout your behavior.
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And your pure conduct, and that's what that talks about, the word in some translation is chaste
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conduct. And accompanied, some translations will say fear, that word is reverence. And it means
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that you're actually still walking in a really huge respect for your husband. You combined that
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kind of non-hypocritical content of the scriptures, the reading of it, and this giant respect for your
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husband, and this consistency of that over time, accompanied with prayer for your husband, and
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letting the Holy Spirit do the heavy lifting and not your mouth, that's a game changer. The Holy
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Spirit is really good at his job. Amen. Oh, and then one last thing. Watch, if you can, if he's
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interested watch uh lee strobel's the case for christ the new movie that came out i was really
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impressed um i just thought it was a good movie for people that are kind of like on the fence
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on their faith and might just want something this guy has a very similar story wife believes
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husband doesn't and it's just a really cool it's a really cool movie i think it's available on
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netflix or prime yeah okay question four my husband and i are thinking about uh removing
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our children from the public school system what does the bible say about educating our children
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oh man all education is discipleship yes all education yeah so that's a good that's a good
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way to open that is that all education is discipleship where's the war for your children's
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heart where is satan playing for keeps yeah he it's happening in the public school system
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guys um in the school system yeah just the public schools yeah in yeah and yeah so yeah exactly even
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in the private school system so um again i want to preface this real quick is that we were both
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public school kids i was private and public yeah private first and then going and then went to
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public yeah and i was public my whole life and also i know that not every family can homeschool
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and or private school it's not an option for everyone not an option for everyone if it can
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be an option i say move heaven and earth to make it happen and here's why um proverbs 13 20 says
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he who walks with wise men will be wise but the companion of fools will be destroyed that's a
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conversation about okay well what does it take to be wise can you be secular and be wise no the
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wisdom, it says, the scriptures say that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
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So you cannot be wise without knowing God. So if you're putting your children into a public
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school system that is very much against God, it produces actually theories of evolution,
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and theories of atheism, and theories of emotional morality, and theories of moral relativism. Like
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this is you won't be able to obey the scripture in terms of he who walks the wise will be wise
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but the companion of fools will be destroyed are you putting your children under the headship of
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fools or are you putting them under the headship of wise men in matthew 18 6 it says probably one
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of the scariest scriptures around jesus is talking and i'm going to read what he says
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he says but whoever causes one of these little ones this is right after they were just talking
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about children, who believe in me to stumble. It would be better for him to have a millstone
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wrapped around his neck and be drowned in the sea. Now, when Jesus talks about little ones,
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he's not specifically talking about children. He's talking about little ones in the faith.
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However, all children are little ones in the faith. And the warning is not to purposefully
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choose to put your child who is undeveloped in their faith or underdeveloped in their faith
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in a place of temptation, moral confusion, or secular seduction.
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Our job as parents is to be very careful with our children. If we lead them astray because we put
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them under an education system for 40 hours a week or whatever, that's us. Whoever causes one
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of these little ones who believe in me to stumble it would be better for him to have a millstone
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wrapped around his neck and be drowned in the sea yeah you you guys parents we need to not be fooled
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because satan is playing for keeps and he wants the hearts and the minds of our kids yeah yeah
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that's how you that's how he built his kingdom i mean if you want to see what why the culture has
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turned the way it is i i give lots of credit to the public school system um for why the world has
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changed the way that it has over the past you know 50 to 100 years do you happen to know you
00:25:22.140
because you did a youtube video or something like this specifically on this topic do you happen to
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know how people can find that off the top of your head um if you just go to our youtube channel
00:25:30.760
where all of our shows are at it's also there available as well on on um the conversation of
00:25:35.300
a homeschool versus public school it's a pretty in-depth video i think it's about five to ten
00:25:38.840
minutes long um yeah so if you're interested and you're kind of on the fence if you want to take
00:25:45.020
your kid out or not. Dale does a whole five-minute video specifically on this topic, and we cover a
00:25:50.300
lot of it here. Yeah, and as Veronica said earlier, all education is discipleship, and if you're
00:25:56.760
sending your children to public school for 30 to 40 hours a week, how do you expect to out-disciple
00:26:02.300
that? Yeah, just remember God created you to be your child's parent. He specifically designed you
00:26:12.380
to be that child's parent so you are the best person to disciple your child we that's all we
00:26:19.660
are we're discipling our children and if we want them to grow up to be believers and we have to
00:26:26.160
be that example and pour into them and read the word and teach them the scriptures and
00:26:31.300
on top of all the other characteristics that they need to learn um and if you're because trust me i
00:26:38.640
had a really really challenging time in school um i had several teachers pass away i had several
00:26:46.400
teachers get fired i like by textbook definition i should not be qualified to homeschool my children
00:26:54.400
but i'm going to um because that's just what i feel like god has called us to do um but
00:27:00.480
But, yeah, I forgot my point, but I was just saying, God has designed you to be able to pour into your child's needs.
00:27:11.160
And again, that idea there is that you're not going to out-disciple 30 to 40 hours a week.
00:27:16.700
You think that 60 minutes of drawing sketches of Noah's Ark on Sunday school or having some Bible reading time for 15 minutes in the morning is going to out-disciple and compete?
00:27:27.940
with the 30 to 40 hours a week of secular doctrine and ideology
00:27:33.160
that are being poured out on your children's minds,
00:27:35.520
along with a whole culture of children who are lost,
00:27:38.620
remember that God doesn't tell children to go be light in the world.
00:27:42.860
All that instruction for going to be a light and representing his kingdom is to adults.
00:27:47.460
It is not your child's job to go out and be a light in another child's life.
00:27:55.240
and i'm going to read you a a quote from atheist and communist vladimir lenin and he says give me
00:28:04.220
four years to teach the children and the seed that i have sown will never be uprooted and the bible
00:28:11.260
backs up that claim when it says train up the child train up a child in the way they should go
00:28:15.440
and when they are older they will not depart from it and so the idea is what vladimir lenin said is
00:28:22.060
that give me four years to teach the children the seed that i have sown will not be uprooted
00:28:26.500
yeah in whatever way you train your child that is not going to be uprooted whether it be
00:28:32.740
things for christ or not yeah secular things outside of a real inner encounter with jesus
00:28:40.200
christ himself the holy spirit moving like i and i've met adults that are the same as they were
00:28:47.200
trained broken and hurting when they were kids well you and i were not necessarily raised in
00:28:54.000
christian homes i mean like you know quasi yeah barely and so even though the holy spirit moved
00:29:02.960
into our life and we did give ourselves to christ and let god have lordship over our lives and we're
00:29:10.880
Christians now um the sin from our old life still has rubbed off on us and we still have to work
00:29:19.440
through those things to walk out our lives according to scripture yes absolutely because
1.00
00:29:25.600
that's the way we were trained yeah it was absolutely it's very true so hopefully that
00:29:30.500
helps answer that question for you guys number five uh what is your stance on denominations in
00:29:36.320
the church my boyfriend is catholic and i am a non-denominational or and i go to attend a
00:29:41.420
non-denominational church when we get married as a wife would i have to submit to his leadership
00:29:45.740
to raise our family catholic even if i don't feel that the catholic church helps me grow closer in
00:29:51.800
my personal relationship with god okay wow this is like a super touchy question here um and this
00:29:59.900
is our last question for this episode um a couple things and hear me when i say this because i want
00:30:06.940
to be respectful if we have some people that are listening to this podcast that are catholic
00:30:12.980
um from my understanding and from my study which i've done lots and i actually have
00:30:19.600
lots of i don't say lots i have a few really good catholic friends and i grew up catholic
00:30:25.460
Yeah. Veronica grew up Catholic. I went to Catholic school. That's what I said earlier. I went from private school to public school, but my private school years were in a Catholic school up until sixth grade.
00:30:36.880
Yeah, and theologically, at the core, Catholics aren't Christians.
0.79
00:30:41.980
Now, there are Christians in the Catholic Church, for sure.
00:30:49.560
But theologically speaking, Catholic theology and Christian theology do clash on some pretty big stuff.
00:30:56.460
I actually, in research for this question, looked up several articles.
00:31:01.340
One of them I read on the Gospel Coalition and a PhD in theology,
00:31:05.540
And he explained it really well and ultimately ended with how he answers this question about dating across denominational borders of Catholic and Christian.
00:31:18.580
The Protestant denominationalism, which we'll talk about next, is a different topic.
00:31:23.600
But Catholic and Christian are almost two religions that having different approaches to theology.
00:31:34.860
And let me get there to explain that real quick.
00:31:41.020
And Catholic theology is majorly different than biblical Christian theology.
00:31:47.240
So that's the biggest problem that you have for whoever asked this question,
00:31:55.940
that's going to be a real hard thing to pull off in a Catholic marriage.
00:32:07.640
And you're not going to get that, generally speaking, out of someone who is a Catholic,
0.77
00:32:16.480
unless they're a Christian in the Catholic Church.
0.51
00:32:19.780
Because Catholics, well, Christians believe in sola scriptura, which is Latin for scripture alone.
00:32:27.500
And that is a, you know, Catholics know this, the Protestantism that was started by Martin Luther and several others back in the 1500s.
00:32:36.500
Lots of you guys have heard about the Reformation.
00:32:38.180
What that's about is the Reformed theology that comes out of the Catholic Church in the 1500s.
00:32:42.960
And, you know, the Catholics believe that the Pope's writing and church tradition are equal with the Bible.
00:32:53.320
And that throws kind of a big wrench in the biblical Christian's life.
00:32:58.720
And most Catholics I know don't really revere the scriptures the way that Protestant Christians do.
00:33:07.140
And so, again, I do believe there's a bit of an unequally yoked element here.
00:33:14.920
And, you know, and again, there's more things in terms of, you know, Christians believe that we're saved by grace through faith.
00:33:25.860
Where Catholics do believe that it's saved by grace through faith,
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00:33:30.940
There's the transubstantiation and the way that, you know, sacraments are viewed.
00:33:34.660
There's lots of different stuff that are different between Catholic theology
00:33:37.880
and Christian theology that aren't happening between all the Protestant denominations
00:33:45.060
I do believe in general that Jesus is not a fan of denominations
00:33:50.880
inside the christian church um we know that because john chapter 17 where where where um
00:33:57.240
where jesus is praying it's called the high priestly prayer um he's right about to go get
00:34:03.000
crucified and he prays for the the future believers including you and i if you believe in jesus and he
00:34:10.240
says father i pray that they are one as as we are one and so this idea of denomination is a division
00:34:19.360
And I actually did a full video on denominations that you, again, can also watch on YouTube
00:34:26.520
that I go way more into detail and give you some more context.
00:34:29.900
So if you're freaking out because you're like a loyal Methodist or a loyal Lutheran
00:34:36.060
I think I did it with a humble heart and an opened hand, not a white-knuckled theology on that.
00:34:44.520
Yeah, the one there where Dale said, do not begin unequally yoked, is 2 Corinthians 6.4, if you wanted to look that up and research that.
00:34:52.520
And then also, remember, to the person who is writing this question, sounds like a woman because she's talking about a boyfriend.
0.53
00:35:00.480
Just remember that if you marry him as a Christian woman, yes, according to Scripture, you will need to submit to his authority.
00:35:10.320
Yeah. And so that's why, you know, when your daughters get older, you should let your daughters, you know, sure, you want to point them in the right direction. You want to have father's approval, things like that. But at the end of the day, your daughter is the one who's making the decision to say, can I submit to this man for the rest of my life?
00:35:30.380
she's the one that's going to have to walk that out
00:35:34.100
and so she needs to really be able to make that final call
0.77
00:35:37.260
whether you approved him as a man to marry your daughter or not
00:35:42.220
that scripture 2 Corinthians 6-4 is talking about
00:35:45.860
do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers
00:35:49.500
but the concept and the principle is still true
00:35:57.220
um but it's very difficult to fulfill the oneness the one flesh commands that are
00:36:05.120
throughout marriage if you're not on the same page in theology so i would say
00:36:12.240
if you were my daughter i'd say break it off i'd say break it off or or have a conversation with
00:36:20.760
him about that this is a game changer conversation either you are going to come and have this
00:36:28.560
conversation and join me in the Christian faith or we're not going to continue forward because I
00:36:36.360
fear this inability to be one the way that the scriptures call us to be one and so hard hard
00:36:43.900
answer and I'm I'm being very gentle because I don't every unique situation and story and person
00:36:49.600
has a there's always different everyone's different yeah so i want to be careful with that
00:36:54.300
so um yeah since today was a q a we are not going to be answering a question at the end of the
00:37:00.480
episode today because our entire episode is questions um but we do have a memory verse for
00:37:04.360
you guys this week um and this week it is john 8 31 through 32 if you abide in my word you are
00:37:10.900
my disciples indeed and you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free this is probably
00:37:16.780
one of my favorite scriptures. You guys should all know this. This is, again, I'm going to read
00:37:20.680
it again because it's so good. Again, John 8, 31, 32, if you abide in my word, you are my disciples
00:37:28.160
indeed. Meaning that if you don't abide in his word, then you're not his disciple.
00:37:34.580
And it says, and you shall know the truth when you abide in his word, and the truth shall make
00:37:40.240
you free. Yeah. So we'll leave you guys with that. Again, if you guys would be so kind to
00:38:08.400
embedded there that you can listen to it there.
00:38:16.520
double digits and guys we last month we had 53,000 people listen to the show and so we're
00:38:26.440
just super humbled by that Veronica hates knowing those numbers because I'm already nervous enough
00:38:31.440
as it is and then hearing those numbers I'm like yeah then I stumble on my words all the time
00:38:36.320
so anyways thank you guys for joining us and we will see you guys or talk to you guys next week
00:38:48.340
Thank you for joining us on this episode of Ultimate Marriage.
00:38:51.280
If you're homesick for a stronger marriage, visit our website at ultimatemarriage.com
00:38:55.340
and consider enrolling in our one-year online marriage mentor program.
00:38:59.040
Also, if you're interested in learning more about building a better marriage,
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