Dale Partridge - Ultimate Marriage #18： 10 Attributes of Biblical Love

00:00:00.000 welcome to ultimate marriage today we're going to be talking about the 10 biblical attributes

00:00:15.440 of love so we are filming in the studio right now and there is a mouse in our studio

00:00:20.080 doesn't bother me one bit but it does bother veronica um not on a real big level but she's

00:00:25.920 Yeah. I think they're cute. They are cute, but like they just move so fast and that's the part 0.96

00:00:31.280 I don't like. I think they're rabid. Like if it was, I'd probably be way more confident it was a

00:00:35.320 snake because at least they move slower. Yeah. That is not me. I'm not excited about that. We

00:00:40.100 are both sick. Um, you can maybe hear it in our voices. Veronica is getting over it. I'm getting

00:00:45.440 over it. Yeah. I'm feeling better. I supposedly doctor thinks that I might have bronchitis,

00:00:50.580 which is always happens at the end of a cold. And so I'm getting better though. I feel better

00:00:55.780 today than I did yesterday and better yesterday than I did the day before. However, having a

00:01:01.300 cold for a week and then this, it's been a hard thing. However, we are here and we're doing this

00:01:05.320 podcast because we are committed to delivering you guys content every single week. A couple

00:01:11.380 things before we start. Subscribe on YouTube if you have not subscribed and subscribe on iTunes

00:01:17.780 if you are new to the show. We'd love to have you. And if you could leave a review at the end

00:01:21.660 of the episode, not on this episode, but on the podcast, your reviews really do help the exposure

00:01:27.100 of the show. And all you need to do is tap the stars. You don't even need to write something.

00:01:32.460 However, if you write something, we will read it. And yeah, you know, I was going to talk about

00:01:39.440 Instagram and some of those other things, but you know what? Let's just keep the show short today.

00:01:43.740 We made a commitment earlier today that we're going to do a show, but it's going to be a little

00:01:47.720 shorter than normal. However, I wrote this pretty giant outline. This doesn't seem super short going

00:01:53.640 over the outline, but we'll see. Yeah. So we're going to just dive right in. So yeah, I'll let

00:01:58.440 Veronica start. So this might be the most important passage to Christians in the New Testament. We

00:02:05.100 are going to be talking about 1 Corinthians 13 today. And if we can't apply for those of you

00:02:11.300 who don't know, 1 Corinthians 13 is the love chapter in the Bible. And if we can't apply

00:02:16.140 this truth to the most important, important person in your life, which is your spouse,

00:02:21.600 then how are we going to be able to apply it to our neighbor and our brother and sister? There's

00:02:25.780 no way that you can't. Yeah. This is critical because if you can't apply this, this truth

00:02:31.700 about love to your husband or wife, then there ain't no chance you're going to be able to apply

00:02:36.600 it to, you know, a friend or a brother or someone that you don't know, or an enemy,

00:02:41.020 which the scripture calls us to treat those people that way as well.

00:02:46.460 So the basic premise of 1 Corinthians 13,

00:02:51.240 one, I suggest that you guys go read it

00:02:53.720 in a New King James ESV NASB King James version of the Bible.

00:03:00.820 The basic premise is that you can have all wisdom.

00:03:03.840 You can have all faith.

00:03:05.520 You can have all gifting.

00:03:06.840 You can have all knowledge.

00:03:07.980 But if you don't have love,

00:03:09.900 none of it matters.

00:03:10.520 None of it matters. Yeah, it doesn't matter at all. Most theological commentaries conclude that

00:03:16.120 Paul is actually saying that if you don't have love, you actually don't know God,

00:03:23.540 and you can't even have salvation because you don't have love. And that's a theological debate.

00:03:29.440 However, when you read scriptures like 1 John 4, 7 through 8, I'm just going to read it real quick.

00:03:35.920 It's beloved. Let us love one another for love is of God and everyone who loves is born of God

00:03:42.560 and knows God. He who does not love does not know God for God is love. So it's a theology based off

00:03:49.720 the fact that if you can't express love, um, choose to express love, then your walk with God

00:03:58.960 is, I guess, rightfully scrutinized, possibly a fraud.

00:04:06.780 Love is the evidence of our relationship with God.

00:04:10.640 And in your marriage, love is, again,

00:04:14.780 the evidence of your relationship with God, with one another.

00:04:19.140 Are you able to walk these things out?

00:04:20.980 And again, if you can't walk these things out with your spouse,

00:04:22.760 how are you going to walk them out with somebody who's not living with you

00:04:26.880 and loving you and caring for you yeah Matthew 22 37 to 39 says Jesus said you shall love the

00:04:34.380 Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind this is the first and

00:04:39.000 great commandment and the and the second is like it you shall love your neighbor as yourself

00:04:44.000 and then another scripture that we're going to reference is 1st Corinthians 13 4 through 7 love

00:04:50.240 suffers long and is kind love does not envy love does not parade itself is not puffed up does not

00:04:56.580 behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in

00:05:01.660 iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,

00:05:06.600 endures all things. So Paul mentions 15 attributes of love, but we bundled them into 10. And then

00:05:14.000 we're going to go over those in each one and evaluate them. And you get to evaluate if you're

00:05:19.740 walking those out in your own marriage. Yeah. So this passage of scripture, you know, it's so

00:05:24.580 critical. I'm just going to read it again because I know when you're listening to something on a

00:05:29.500 podcast, it's like, oh wait, I wish I, can you read it again? Just so you can hear it one more

00:05:34.080 time. So I'm going to do that for you guys. It's 1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 7. Love suffers long

00:05:39.280 and is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not parade itself. It is not puffed up, does not

00:05:45.240 behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in

00:05:50.100 iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,

00:05:54.800 endures all things. So we're going to go ahead and jump into this section and start kind of just

00:06:02.320 make the list of them for, you know, all 10 of them so that we can just break each one of these

00:06:09.780 down for you. Okay. So I'm going to start off with suffers long. What that means, it means that

00:06:16.760 you're faithful, even in the midst of trials, uh, as a spouse, that's, that's a difficult thing to

00:06:22.860 do, to be faithful in the midst of trials, not just faithful in terms of your wedding vows,

00:06:27.180 but just like faithful as a friend, faithful as, as a partner, faithful as, you know, um,

00:06:33.360 in your love, faithful in your loyalty. Well, in some scriptures, um, says patience.

00:06:38.520 Yeah, exactly. Instead of long suffering, it says love is patient. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, again,

00:06:43.980 patience is one of the fruits of the spirit. And so, you know, every divorce occurs because someone

00:06:50.680 wasn't willing to suffer more or to suffer long or to be patient with. And, you know, I know

00:07:00.340 there's always, you know, if you're in a physical beating relationship or something that's causing

00:07:05.380 soul injury or sin in your life, you know, then there's some validated biblical reasons for

00:07:12.300 at least separating yourself, maybe not divorcing, but separating yourself in that marriage,

00:07:17.660 but long-suffering for people who are trying, even failing, but trying. And a patient spouse

00:07:27.380 and a suffering, long-suffering, means that you get to suffer weaknesses, you get to suffer

00:07:32.780 failures, you get to suffer errors. We all make them. And really without end. And that's kind of

00:07:40.800 a big statement. I mean, God suffers us without end. We just keep messing up and he keeps forgiving

00:07:48.660 us. And it is, um, it's expected for us to do the same. Um, and also it suffers well. And so it's,

00:07:56.360 it's not just this kind of begrudgingly or, um, negative countenance on your face all the time,

00:08:02.300 but like it suffers well, you know, in terms of you're not there to like, be like, I'm going to

00:08:07.280 do it, but like, you're going to know that I hate it the whole time. Um, and Veronica is smiling

00:08:13.100 because of why? Hey, I'm being convicted along with all of you guys. Okay. She does a pretty

00:08:19.480 good job at this, but, but we all struggle in our areas, um, to, yeah, to suffer well. So,

00:08:24.900 uh, Veronica is going to cover number two. So number one was suffer long. Number two is

00:08:28.740 number two is love is kind. It's kind. Um, a complete desire to do good for your spouse,

00:08:35.500 even in the moments which are difficult to do so.

00:08:38.180 And I'm preaching to myself here, guys.

00:08:40.500 Kindness makes the list of the fruits of the Spirit.

00:08:43.680 Kindness is literally an attribute of God.

00:08:46.680 Yeah.

00:08:46.940 So are you exemplifying that

00:08:48.480 and living that out towards your spouse,

00:08:51.200 especially in trials?

00:08:52.560 If it's a fruit of the Holy Spirit,

00:08:54.420 who is God, you know?

00:08:56.460 And we are to have the Holy Spirit.

00:08:58.100 We know God.

00:08:58.820 Yeah.

00:08:59.900 Then you should be having that.

00:09:01.940 Yeah, it's the natural outflow

00:09:03.520 of someone who understands god it just naturally happens yeah yeah it is when you know and love god

00:09:12.360 a fruit of the spirit is kindness and so it naturally just comes out of you yeah um and it

00:09:16.940 is the opposite of anger or bitterness which is the great destroyer of marriages is anger and

00:09:23.700 bitterness and so just right there we could stop today and just go okay how about you guys work on

00:09:30.020 patience and kindness, and then we'll see you guys next week. There's enough here to last you

00:09:36.360 decades of work. And so it's looking at this whole definition and going, wow,

00:09:43.780 love is complex. And it goes on to say it does not envy. A husband or a wife is not to be envious

00:09:53.820 of their spouse's biblical role or their position in the marriage.

00:10:01.540 We are to accept the place that we are given by the Lord

00:10:06.540 in terms of our roles and our position.

00:10:10.800 And it means that you don't become unhappy

00:10:15.080 by the good fortunes of others or your spouse.

00:10:19.220 And I've seen this before in marriages.

00:10:20.800 One spouse gets frustrated by the blessings of the other spouse, and it's caused by this great root of bitterness that's in them.

00:10:31.860 Maybe they're not being loved by them a lot, and they're getting blessed over here, and it's frustrating to see.

00:10:38.760 But envy really is, you know, what we're talking about does not envy, generally stems from insecurity or discontentment or dissatisfaction with your own life.

00:10:50.800 And so you got to kind of check yourself here going, am I actually struggling with envy?

00:10:56.920 And it breeds bitterness towards others.

00:10:59.880 You're actually like ill will towards people.

00:11:04.140 Yeah.

00:11:04.660 It's like, it's like impossible for you to be happy for somebody else's blessings.

00:11:09.200 Yeah, exactly.

00:11:10.500 And, and sadly this happens inside of a marriage and, uh, you know, husbands and wives should

00:11:14.820 never view themselves as competitors.

00:11:17.260 You're a team.

00:11:18.220 Yeah.

00:11:18.380 You're a team.

00:11:18.920 And so that's where this kind of envy thing comes here.

00:11:22.740 Lastly, it means do not envy your friend's marriage or parts of your friend's marriage.

00:11:29.500 Can you desire them?

00:11:30.780 Sure.

00:11:31.320 But the idea where you're like lusting after them or like, you know, not waiting for the Lord, but in your own power, trying to bring them into the marriage.

00:11:42.040 Again, I know that's this kind of comparison of marriages happens all the time.

00:11:47.500 And we focus on someone else's marriage, how great it is without just turning our head toward our own marriage and fixing ourselves.

00:11:54.580 So that's what I've got out of not to envy means.

00:12:02.200 Number four, not puffed up. 1.00

00:12:03.920 I'm going to just go through a couple more and then Veronica will jump in.

00:12:08.000 Love's not puffed up.

00:12:09.400 It's not prideful.

00:12:10.140 Yeah, it's not prideful.

00:12:11.180 It's not inflated with a sense of self-importance.

00:12:14.560 and I've seen lots of men struggle with a sense of self-importance and it bleeds into their

00:12:21.920 marriage and they want their wives to treat them in a way that is more culturally important versus

00:12:28.100 biblically valued and I've seen it even more so with the wives especially with the culture

00:12:34.440 it is the way it is today with the feminist movement yeah um yeah it's really challenging

00:12:41.460 to if you don't know the scriptures well to fall into your biblical role yeah yeah yeah you'll make

00:12:49.400 it up as you go and that's what a lot of people do i'm not puffed up this idea is it's a directly

00:12:54.200 connected to humility are you humble um you know god resists the proud and gives grace to the

00:12:59.820 humble it's set up several times in the scriptures in the new testament and old testament um he gives

00:13:05.400 grace to the humble and he resists the proud how much resistance do you want from god be prideful

00:13:11.140 and you can just get as much resistance as you want from God.

00:13:16.140 And that's God's way of disciplining his children.

00:13:18.300 He's not going to allow his children to be prideful.

00:13:20.260 He will discipline you out of that.

00:13:22.520 I've seen it happen to myself.

00:13:25.400 And let's move on to number five, which is does not behave rudely.

00:13:32.220 I thought this was interesting just as an attribute of love.

00:13:37.740 It means that you actually adjust your natural tendencies

00:13:40.300 to this definition of love um it does not mean it means you don't behave outside of these kind

00:13:48.500 of characteristics if you're if you're naturally in your flesh inclined to be blunt it means in

00:13:54.600 the spirit you get to be gentle um i have veronica smiling again did you prepare this are you like

00:14:01.360 subtly trying to tell me something here no i'm just kidding um yeah that's definitely me i'm

00:14:06.600 more of a straight shooter kind of person and so i get to put my flesh in a subjection of my spirit

00:14:14.200 when you not behave rudely well when you apply the word rude to being blunt and not being clear

00:14:23.660 people like oh i'm just being clear um it it really does yeah there's a difference yeah and

00:14:28.740 and you know you can really feel the weight also you know if you go out is that rude and sometimes

00:14:33.900 it can be clear and nice, but sometimes it can be rude. I think it's, it's, um, a lot of times

00:14:39.280 it's the right thing, wrong way. Um, I think a lot of us do that. Um, if you're assertive in your

00:14:44.640 flesh, you know, in the spirit, you get to be soft. Um, you don't get to be rude. Um, if you're

00:14:50.360 stiff in your way of being, um, or, you know, not firm, but stiff, then in the spirit, you get to

00:14:57.560 choose to be flexible. And so your desire is to not hurt your spouse, even if you're hurt. You're

00:15:06.020 not going to be rude because you're hurt. You're not going to behave rudely. And your desire is not

00:15:12.860 to embarrass or to tarnish the reputation of your spouse, but to actually protect it.

00:15:20.040 Lift them up.

00:15:20.720 Yeah, to lift them up.

00:15:21.500 Especially in front of others.

00:15:22.200 Yeah, absolutely. And Proverbs 11, 13 says, whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

00:15:36.180 I want to talk about that just for a second, is that as a spouse, you get to cover a lot of things.

00:15:41.540 You know, you don't get to open up sometimes to the public the flaws that you get to see in your spouse.

00:15:48.500 You get to protect those things.

00:15:52.640 Not everything needs to be transparent.

00:15:55.280 And you get to keep a thing covered.

00:15:57.200 And so there's trustworthy.

00:15:59.940 There are secrets between you two in your marriage that don't get to go outside.

00:16:05.460 And there's no secrets between you.

00:16:07.960 But there are secrets within the marriage that you get to keep.

00:16:11.920 So we'll move on to number six.

00:16:13.200 Number six, does not seek its own.

00:16:15.320 love doesn't only

00:16:17.400 doesn't only

00:16:19.200 the person doesn't only desire

00:16:21.940 their own spiritual welfare

00:16:23.940 they're constantly looking out

00:16:26.120 for their spouse

00:16:27.100 this is an act of

00:16:28.960 consistently and constantly

00:16:31.380 start over

00:16:32.360 just start over from number 6

00:16:35.840 we'll have it cut

00:16:36.580 cough if you need to cough

00:16:38.640 okay number six does not seek its own so this means that you don't only desire this means that

00:16:54.960 the spouse doesn't only desire their own spiritual welfare they're constantly looking out for the

00:17:01.100 the spouse looking out for and giving their spouse preference yep um and this is building

00:17:07.220 your spouse up, looking out for them. Try again. I think you're, you're still like stumbling a

00:17:11.560 little bit in your thought. Grasp the thought real quick and just, you know, does not seek

00:17:18.240 its own. It means that you're seeking the benefit of others.

00:17:37.220 where are we? Number six. So number six does not seek its own. That means you're constantly

00:17:46.740 looking out for your spouse. You're seeking the benefit of others. Um, this is an act of

00:17:51.840 constantly giving each other preference and building your spouse up. Um, we have to get rid

00:17:57.620 of this worldly pursuit of self care that everybody's talking about and instead replace

00:18:03.920 it with spouse care. Sure. Yeah. And it's, you know, sure. Does that mean avoid and devoid

00:18:10.340 yourself of care? No. But it means that it's not, don't make a practice of self-care.

00:18:14.680 It's just not, not everything is all about you. Yes. Yeah. Love is, it doesn't seek its own.

00:18:20.720 What does that mean? It means that it seeks the benefit of others. And it means that in your

00:18:26.380 marriage, I'm seeking the benefit of Veronica. Whatever I'm doing should benefit her or the

00:18:33.360 children um and the same thing for her is that she should be constantly looking out for my interests

00:18:40.640 you know my preferences and the more you do that the better your marriage is i mean we've seen that

00:18:46.880 you know when our marriage is humming it's because we are just constantly seeking our own

00:18:51.540 are seeking not not it's because we're constantly seeking uh each other's uh needs and preferences

00:19:00.140 Yeah, preferences and benefits. Number seven is it's not provoked. Now, this is, you know,

00:19:07.240 I'm going to replace this word with a word that makes more sense for today. And that word is

00:19:12.820 offended. Okay. That's, it's not offended. You're not easily offended. If you're an easily offended

00:19:20.840 spouse, you got to work on that. That's a problem. You're not to be easily offended. Love is not

00:19:27.580 easily offended. People who are easily offended are not showing love. Just know that. You actually

00:19:36.820 have a great reason to doubt if they actually loved you, if they're so easily offended.

00:19:44.100 Offense is actually advertising your lack of love. It only took that one statement or that

00:19:52.380 one little thing to make you immediately offended. To set someone off. Yeah. To set someone off.

00:19:56.620 you know and think about it how many times does our kids offend us you know or do things that are

00:20:02.160 offensive i should say i mean they're toddlers toddlers so all the time yeah you know when a

00:20:07.340 kid yells the top of his lungs out the middle of nowhere you're like oh you know it's an offensive

00:20:12.700 act but do you get offended no you don't get offended because if you got offended your love

00:20:19.640 for the child would be very shallow. Yeah. And so, um, it means you're not easily irritated.

00:20:27.620 So I'm sure that probably checks some spirits, um, who are listening today, but, um, it means

00:20:33.680 you're not bitter. You're not easily made easily bitter. Um, uh, you know, now you might be thinking,

00:20:39.600 don't I have the right to be offended? Like, don't I have the right to be offended? No,

00:20:42.860 you don't have the right. You have the right to be hurt. You have the command to forgive.

00:20:46.800 there's righteous anger yeah you have the right to be righteously angry you know if your spouse

00:20:52.180 cheats on you can be righteously angry you can be hurt you have the command to forgive

00:20:55.740 but you don't have the right to be offended and I want to clarify that for a second

00:21:02.400 offense actually cuts you off from God's blessings because it's a statement that you

00:21:08.200 have forgotten how filthy you were prior to God. And God still, how filthy we were, how undeserving

00:21:18.120 we were. God still made a way, keeps taking us back, made us his children, saved us. He even says

00:21:30.020 prior to this that even our good works are filthy rags. We were filthy. We were offensive.

00:21:38.200 and God was not offended. And that kind of, I think, carries over into our own marriage.

00:21:43.900 When we get offended, we forget how much we've been forgiven and how gross we actually are.

00:21:51.140 Number eight, thinks no evil. I had a gentleman a few weeks ago message me,

00:22:01.140 and he said, hey, Dale, I knew a guy that was just like you, man. You remind me so much

00:22:06.580 of this guy i knew and i was friends with him for like 10 years and then all of a sudden

00:22:11.800 like i found out that for five years he'd been like walking in this super gross sin and i just

00:22:17.500 wanted to tell you man if you're if you're hiding something like just just get out of it confess it

00:22:24.120 man and get out of it like and i'm like and you didn't know this person i don't know this guy

00:22:27.260 he's just writing me this and i'm like wait wait wait okay one brother i don't have anything that

00:22:35.220 I'm hiding in some deep sin that needs to be made known.

00:22:38.680 Two is that don't project your past history with somebody else

00:22:43.360 onto some other stranger.

00:22:46.460 You never do that.

00:22:47.740 You never project some experience that happened somewhere else

00:22:50.960 onto somebody else.

00:22:51.880 Everybody has unique experiences.

00:22:56.560 But with the command here, I actually sent him the scripture

00:22:59.000 that love thinks no evil.

00:23:01.560 and um and i said hey you know this is what you're doing is incorrect according to the bible it's not

00:23:10.580 loving it's actually from the enemy and uh he actually wrote me back and said oh my gosh i'm

00:23:16.920 so sorry you're so right i shouldn't have done this yeah i mean and that's that's encouraging

00:23:22.500 for me to hear because a lot of men would just get offensive offended and want to start an

00:23:29.120 argue with me but instead he chose to walk in humility yeah it's like a false accusation is

00:23:34.620 what it is and um it's very dangerous in today's world too with the internet and everybody that's

00:23:39.860 being accused nobody knows if they're actually true or not and and so um true love anyways i

00:23:46.480 want to say is that i forgave him he apologized i forgave him and i wasn't offended and so i just

00:23:52.940 moved on um he wrote me back the next day saying oh man i'm so sorry so sorry like i apologized

00:23:58.000 again so um true love is not suspicious okay that that's just what what it's at even if there's some

00:24:08.240 past history you need to be smart but but true love is this kind of it's very difficult to not

00:24:14.260 be suspicious later we're going to look at the the last part of the scripture and it says love

00:24:19.220 believes all things and so we'll talk about that then um it doesn't um it doesn't expect that a

00:24:28.220 good act has something bad motive motivating it you know behind it and so i i don't know how you

00:24:34.600 apply that to your marriage but it doesn't expect that you're like there's some bad motive um behind

00:24:40.300 this good act that's being done and you don't see the good in the person you see the bad in the

00:24:45.480 person. Yeah. And I know lots of people, Christians, that really struggle with this.

00:24:50.700 This means after forgiveness, it attempts to extend trust often. It's trying to. I know it's

00:24:57.080 hard, but it's trying to. And when things aren't clear or they're confusing, you give the benefit

00:25:04.060 of the doubt to your spouse. Yeah. Because it thinks no evil. And that's hard. That's very hard

00:25:11.240 to do um you're to be curious before you're critical we say that all the time yeah like

00:25:17.340 for example if I'm on a Sunday morning and I'm getting all the kids ready and all this and Dale's

00:25:23.060 just gone not that he's gone out of the house like I just don't see him he's not present you're

00:25:27.740 somewhere else in the house I don't get to be like angry and mad at you like why is it in bitter why

00:25:33.340 is it Dale down here helping me I get to give him the benefit of the doubt and all like oh well maybe

00:25:37.440 he's upstairs printing out his sermon or doing something, you know, maybe he was doing something

00:25:41.580 that's beneficial for the whole family. Yeah. Yeah. And, and it doesn't mean that when you

00:25:47.400 do find out the truth that you can't get righteously angry about the, the, the issue,

00:25:53.520 be hurt, be, be talk about it, restore the relationship and move forward. It just means

00:25:58.480 that until you have the facts, you don't get to go in your heart and think evil before you know

00:26:02.760 what's going on. You're not, I guess, predisposed to thinking evil on somebody before you even know

00:26:11.780 the facts. And now, can we think evil of evil things? Yes. You know, Proverbs says that the

00:26:18.700 fear of the Lord is the hatred of evil. So we do get to, you know, the things that the Lord has

00:26:23.000 declared evil, we can think evil upon. But this passage is not talking about that. It's talking

00:26:30.080 about what we just explained um i know veronica wants to read number nine number nine does not

00:26:37.640 rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth i'm gonna give you a little quote that you like

00:26:43.000 to share yeah you share it okay there's this quote that dale often says did you get it from

00:26:48.380 somewhere this quote is like a mixture of two quotes that you combined that i combined so yeah

00:26:53.120 one of i'm chuck swindoll is part of it so i'll give you that so yeah the quote is the river of

00:26:57.640 love must flow down the banks of truth if we remove the banks we begin to love things that

00:27:02.120 god hates yeah so it does not rejoice in iniquity but it rejoices in the truth um you know as a

00:27:13.000 christian spouse you don't rejoice in things that oppose scripture okay and there's lots of things

00:27:21.380 that are being presented to the church today that oppose scripture.

00:27:26.400 You don't rejoice in those things.

00:27:28.220 You don't rejoice in iniquity and the things that oppose scripture.

00:27:31.700 You rejoice in the truth.

00:27:36.300 And it is unloving to rejoice in the things that stand against God's word.

00:27:42.120 So if you think that you're saying that love is love or whatever it is,

00:27:46.840 or it's a choice or whatever, you know,

00:27:50.540 protect your choice and abortion or whatever it might be.

00:27:54.220 Those statements are really deeply theologically connected

00:27:58.220 to rejoicing in the truth.

00:28:03.340 And so that is part of love.

00:28:06.000 Love is what God defined love as.

00:28:09.260 We don't get to kind of redefine what God defined.

00:28:12.520 We don't innovate on the definition.

00:28:15.160 Yeah, we don't innovate love.

00:28:16.840 Um, and you're going to seek out God's truth and rejoice in it, be happy in it, even if it's

00:28:23.860 uncomfortable, even if it's unpopular, even if it's hard against your flesh. And you're not going

00:28:30.020 to persecute God's truth through denial or rejection in your own life. That's a persecution

00:28:35.560 of God's truth. It's just your own denial or rejection. You're persecuting God's truth and

00:28:39.860 that's not loving um number 10 number 10 number 10 bears all things believes all things hopes all

00:28:48.380 things and endures all things you know i love how paul wrote this because i think that he actually

00:28:53.340 like chronologically put those things there like meaning that there's you know bears all things

00:28:58.800 like you're just here to kind of walk out those burdens with people um believes all things we

00:29:06.620 talked about that. It's just this, like, this believes the best in people, you know? Doesn't

00:29:14.500 kind of have this kind of place of evil in their heart for people. Like, doesn't, isn't so suspicious

00:29:21.680 or skeptical about motives. Again, bears all things, believes all things, but hopes all things.

00:29:27.020 I was reading some, I was doing some studying on this verse, and it says, when there is no

00:29:32.960 place left for believing good of a person then love comes in with hope and i like that it said

00:29:40.740 bears all things believes all things hopes all things you can no longer bear for whatever reason

00:29:45.820 you can no longer believe for whatever reason because they've proven themselves to not be

00:29:51.280 worth believing in because they're rejected the truth they've they've left they've run away

00:29:57.460 then you don't get to deny them.

00:30:00.300 Love says you hope's all things.

00:30:03.480 It means that you anticipate repentance.

00:30:09.020 You anticipate restoration.

00:30:12.040 You anticipate redemption.

00:30:14.520 You hope for those things,

00:30:16.200 even when you can't even believe in it.

00:30:19.040 You hope for it.

00:30:20.320 And love does that.

00:30:21.260 And so in your marriage, whatever's going on,

00:30:24.440 it's powerful.

00:30:27.100 and then endures all things.

00:30:28.780 It does not leave in spirit.

00:30:31.380 You know, you might physically need to leave

00:30:32.620 for whatever reason.

00:30:35.140 But it does not leave in spirit.

00:30:36.700 You're there.

00:30:38.280 Yeah, this whole passage, 1 Corinthians 13,

00:30:41.240 should make us realize that love is not something

00:30:43.360 you fall into or fall out of.

00:30:45.600 Love is not a feeling.

00:30:47.280 Love is not an emotion.

00:30:48.840 Love is not a choice.

00:30:50.060 Or love is a choice.

00:30:51.000 Sorry, it is a choice.

00:30:51.960 Yeah.

00:30:52.940 And it's a set of actions

00:30:54.460 and a way to live according to God's word.

00:30:57.100 Yeah, and when you think about that, we think that love is a feeling.

00:31:03.900 We get a feeling when we love, but our flesh lies to us.

00:31:08.880 So we have to remember that we have three enemies.

00:31:10.660 We have the enemy himself, we have the world, and we have our flesh.

00:31:16.700 And Galatians 5 or 6, I always forget, but it says that the spirit wars against the flesh,

00:31:24.540 and the flesh wars against the spirit.

00:31:25.940 but the two oppose one another

00:31:27.200 so that you may not do the things that you wish.

00:31:31.220 Your flesh will love to make love

00:31:34.940 identify with pleasure in the flesh.

00:31:38.580 Whatever feels good must be loving.

00:31:41.800 That's what the culture's done.

00:31:43.800 This big emotional thing.

00:31:45.480 Yeah.

00:31:46.040 And we've also made like love as it must,

00:31:49.900 you know, I've also talked about the difference

00:31:51.960 between acceptance and love.

00:31:54.140 You can still love something without accepting it.

00:31:56.540 You can still love somebody without accepting certain behaviors that they've walked out.

00:32:01.220 So that love is under attack.

00:32:03.040 It is totally being distorted and vandalized.

00:32:07.680 And we need to look back at this passage of Scripture to remember what love is and how it's defined.

00:32:15.080 And so I'm going to read the memory verse real quick.

00:32:18.660 And it's what we just went through.

00:32:20.920 I want you guys to memorize this passage of Scripture.

00:32:22.900 you should have it memorized as a Christian. And I know there's a lot to memorize, but just at some

00:32:29.620 point, get it done. 1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 7. Love suffers long and is kind. Love does not

00:32:36.460 envy. Love does not parade itself. It is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek

00:32:42.220 its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth,

00:32:47.080 bears all things, believes all things,

00:32:49.120 hopes all things, and endures all things.

00:32:52.340 So, any closing thoughts?

00:32:55.440 On that note, go love each other.

00:32:57.160 Go love each other.

00:32:57.840 Go love each other.

00:32:59.280 Yeah, and if you guys, again,

00:33:00.460 would leave a review on the podcast,

00:33:04.020 we'd appreciate that.

00:33:04.640 You can also, this is episode 18,

00:33:06.040 you can go find this on ultimatemarriage.com.

00:33:08.340 Just go to the podcast section

00:33:09.680 and you get all the notes and scriptures

00:33:11.260 and references that we put in the show.

00:33:13.260 So, we're going to go lay down and rest and heal.

00:33:17.440 And we'll see you guys next week.

00:33:19.300 See ya.

00:33:21.740 Thank you for joining us on this episode of Ultimate Marriage.

00:33:24.600 If you're homesick for a stronger marriage, visit our website at ultimatemarriage.com

00:33:28.720 and consider enrolling in our one-year online marriage mentor program.

00:33:32.420 Also, if you're interested in learning more about building a better marriage,

00:33:35.360 follow Veronica and I on social media,

00:33:37.040 where each week we share tips, tricks, and lessons on building a biblical marriage.

00:33:47.080 Transcription by CastingWords

Dale Partridge - November 07, 2018

Ultimate Marriage #18： 10 Attributes of Biblical Love

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