Ultimate Marriage #24： Setting Biblical Boundaries on Movies, Media, and Music
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Summary
In this episode, we talk about setting biblical boundaries for movies, media, and music in our homes. What are we allowed to watch, what are we not, and what do we not allow in our home?
Transcript
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Welcome to Ultimate Marriage. Today we are talking about setting biblical boundaries
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for movies, media, and music. Yeah, so we're going to talk about this. I think the main
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section is going to be talking about movies and shows because that's kind of the biggest
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way that people consume media outside of social media. This isn't a conversation about social
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media that much. It's really a conversation about what are we entertained by? What do we allow in
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our homes? What are we going to unify on what we allow on? Because that's generally different in
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almost every marriage that we've seen is that, you know, the guy might be more comfortable with
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this. The girl isn't comfortable with that. And there's this battle that we get of, you know,
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what is good? What is not good? What is sinful to watch? What is not sinful to watch? What are you
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comfortable with? What are you not comfortable with? How do we deal with those things in our
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marriage? Um, anything to say on that? I think that, um, you know, we've had this struggle over
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the years, right? Like this is something that we've, you know, Veronica's doesn't like something
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that I'm like, Oh, okay. I think that's okay. Or I like something and she doesn't think that it's
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okay. And so there's, um, we've had these conversations. This is very real conversation
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for our marriage and a journey that we've even been through. Um, so how does this apply to
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marriage, I'm assuming you've had conversations about this. Media is a big part of the modern
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life, you know, from your phone, from your TV shows, from your movies, from the music that
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you listen to. I think we're mostly consuming media much of the day. So before we jump in
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to the conversation, again, this is a podcast that's available on YouTube. It's also available
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The last thing I'm going to mention before we start is if you guys are interested in
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coming into our six-week program, we've changed it from a 12-month program, then we thought
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about doing a 12-week program, and then we realized, I think we're going to just do it
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as a six-week program, which is an Ultimate Marriage mentorship program, training you
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And so if you're interested in doing that, just go to ultimatemarriage.com forward slash notify.
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I would much rather be productive in cleaning my home or getting laundry done
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or hanging out with a friend, having a meaningful conversation,
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And you would think that would be like how I think about it because I'm the guy that likes to do, you know, the teach and the study and all those things.
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For you, it's like the only way to shut your brain off.
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To be zoned out or something by watching a movie.
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Where my form of relaxation is like taking a nap and just laying down or resting.
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so we've you know now don't get me wrong there's there's movies here and there that'll come up
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that i like but for the most part i'm very rarely interested in watching a movie yeah there's a
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handful of movies that veronica likes and we'll watch those sporadically through the year or
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every other year sick yeah or if it's you know we've been cooped up inside because of winter
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for too long yeah or you're in labor or hey yeah i do watch movies and i'm in labor yeah that's
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that's another place that we'll, I'll finally get her to sit down and, and enjoy a movie for a
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little bit. Take her mind off of that. Um, yeah, I love movies. I love, you know, my favorite movie
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is probably the Count of Monte Cristo, um, uh, with Jim Caviezel, I think is his name. He's in
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that movie. He's the guy that played Jesus. So it's super holy, um, back to the future trilogy.
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That's probably again, one of my all-time favorite. I love the back to the future trilogy,
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Yeah. So like tired. Yeah. If I'm sick, that's when I get a chance to watch a movie. Or if I like
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and just totally need to go have a rest day, I might put on a movie. But movies aren't a part
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of our weekly activity. That's not something that we do as a family. And neither are TV shows.
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You know, we'll watch some Everybody Loves Raymond. As you guys know, that's a funny joke
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for our, we've been watching it for so many years. But even then. Just Dale and I, to be clear. Yeah.
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But the idea is that we still don't watch a lot of TV shows.
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That's just not something that we do in our home.
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And the kids aren't watching modern movies and modern TV shows really much either.
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And so this is a conversation of how we've kind of come to the people that we are with entertainment and media.
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And it has been a journey to get to this place.
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um and you know tv consumes more and more of you um once you start watching it and you start to
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feel like it belongs and that if you if you don't have it um you don't know how you get along
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without it and that that's when it starts to take a place in your heart and in your mind and in your
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day that really should only be taken by god or your family and so tv in general media in general
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does absolutely steal a portion of your life that basically turns into an idol it does yeah so how
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should we determine what is appropriate to watch or to listen to in our homes um dale and i get
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questions all the time emailed to us written to us on instagram wherever um from wives usually
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asking what they should do when their husbands insist on watching a movie or a show that has
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some type of sexual content or nude nudity, cursing, killing, just lewd and vulgar.
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So how do you follow biblical principles without just taking your TV and throwing away, which,
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hey, you can do that too. Yeah. I'm all for that. Yeah. But, um, or TV room or yeah. So
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we have a few questions that we want to ask you guys to help you examine your heart
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and to make decisions that will keep you holy, obedient, and wise
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Yeah, and it's something that makes your marriage feel secure and safe
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It is, and yeah, and so we're going to talk about
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why we put up boundaries, how important this is.
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This is a really important, and I would say pretty deep conversation today,
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so if you feel like it's like, oh, movies, that's what we're talking about,
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trust me, we're going to go a little bit to the deep end of the pool here in a minute.
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It has everything to do with sin, with obedience, with love, with holiness.
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So the first question that we are going to ask you is, are you entertained by what God hates?
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I'm just letting there be a pause for dramatic effect.
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Like, humor can literally mask and sanitize anything to somehow make it palatable.
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So, do you find joy in movies and shows that promote divorce or lying or stealing or adultery?
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Do you enjoy the suspense of horror movies or are you amused by death?
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Do you watch TV shows with nudity or sexual or explicit content?
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And that's why we don't watch hardly any modern television.
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So, yeah, you know, personally, this is, you know, guys, speaking to the guys here,
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I would say I have a pretty high tolerance for violence.
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I have a high tolerance for even some bad language.
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I have come over the years to have zero tolerance for nudity.
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And the reason is because the violence, it's make-believe.
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Well, and generally, the movies that you watch that are violent or have bad language in them
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Not like, I'm going to go murder this dude in the back alley.
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But yeah, so the reason is that the violence is make-believe, and that's why I can have that high tolerance.
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The bad language is, again, it's being acted out, but the lady is actually naked, and I'm actually watching.
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And so that's the problem, is that that is very real.
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And so while the other things aren't real, that is real.
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And so there's a bit of a difference between those two things.
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you know some of the ladies probably aren't as comfortable with the violence or the gore
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in terms of a military movie like Saving Private Ryan or something or even sometimes with the
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language of those things again and some guys might not be either that's just my personal
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thing but I draw the line on that and and that seems to be a big conversation between a lot of
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families yeah and I don't generally mind you watching those kinds of things I'm very sensitive
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when you're in a war movie so yeah don't expect your wife to go and just watch a war movie i know
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some women can um but i don't know i can i don't know any man who walks away from a horrific
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like a horror movie vulgar or sexually explicit film um and is more godly because of it
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that's not what happens it doesn't make you more like god if you're entertained by horror
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or, like, some of these, like, really gross stuff.
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And, you know, what's really happening is these movies
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that have this explicit content, it's desensitizing you to sin.
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If you imagine somebody who watches this kind of stuff,
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It really steals away your ability to be joyful.
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You start framing up a worldview that's just a little bit gross.
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and they literally steal away, these movies will steal away the thing that makes you so attractive
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to an onlooking world, which is joy and hope. And you start watching enough of this stuff
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and filling your head and heart with enough of this stuff, and it actually strips away the thing
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that God actually puts upon us to make us attractive to the lost. And so I'm going to put
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it bluntly the only nude woman's body that a man should be looking at is the man or is that of his
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wife's and so if you see now there's a difference i know sometimes you guys are watching a movie
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together and you've never seen it before and a nude scene pops up okay men it's your job to
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immediately if you can click click stop or click pause fast forward that scene make a distinction
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are we going to keep watching this is it likely this is going to be continuing on in the movie
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You know, you're going to have to make a decision
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You know, this is a journey for a lot of families
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okay, now just turn it off or talk to your wife.
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Hey, do you want to fast forward through this
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and see if we can watch the rest of this movie?
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leave it up to her, especially in these moments, because movies are generally tailored toward the
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lust of the man's eye and not the woman's eye. And so it's a naked woman. It's not necessarily
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naked men, which again, in my experience and understanding of women, they're not real excited
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about that anyways. So I'm going to read Matthew 27 through 28. It says, you have heard that it
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was said to those of old, this is Jesus talking, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you
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that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
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Okay, guys, the guy who guards his eyes shields his heart. And so you just have to recognize that
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your eyes are a gateway to your heart. And when these things pop up, you got to work on guarding
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your eyes and shielding them. Even when you walk around town, when you are on social media,
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whatever it is, guard your eyes because they are a gateway to your heart. And if you're going to
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cheat with your eyes, you know what? It's just not too far behind that you'll cheat with your body.
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I've seen that. That's the guys that look at porn. Oh, you'll cheat with your eyes and you
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cheat with your heart. Oh, you'll cheat with your body at some point too. And so, you know,
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there's a quote by, oh my gosh, I always forget the guy that made this quote. It's not Chuck
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Coulson. Anyways, he says, adultery starts in the head before it occurs in the bed. And
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this is, again, you're watching shows, you can commit adultery just with that woman that's in
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that movie. So we want to guard against those things. Cool. Next question to ask yourself
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while watching a movie or show, whatever it is, will this movie or show make you more like Christ?
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now you might be thinking what movie or show will yeah right especially into like i said earlier to
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in today's um culture but is it wholesome is it clean humor yeah there's few of those out there
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there are yeah but there are there are they are out there um does it teach you history or is the
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story just fun and moral and exciting um if so then watch it yeah again i think of like lord of
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rings you know like uh it's one of those things is fun you know you know um you know cool exciting
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narrative and sure there's some rough stuff in there that might not be appropriate for a kid but
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for maybe a a teenager is fine um or i think about lincoln right for the movie lincoln um you know
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i thought that was great it's some great history in there some understanding um and there's an hbo
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series called John Adams. There's some good stuff on the history side, you know, stuff about World
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War II. And there's some things about clean humor, and those things exist too. And we try to find
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those things as much as we can for our kids, which are very rare to find. There's really two
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positions in the church, and I'm going to share them, and I want you to identify with which one
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you generally partake in and the first position is minimal holiness and what what that's saying
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is what's the minimum of a minimum amount of personal holiness i need to get into heaven
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and that is actually sadly and again i know that it's not of works but in terms of like what's the
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minimum way that i can walk to stay righteous and not be sinning against god it's like when
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you're talking to a young couple who's struggling with staying pure they're like okay well like what
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can we do how close can we get to the canyon we do uh before sinning yeah you're asking yourself
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the wrong question yeah yeah exactly it's it's how close can we get to the canyon without falling in
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it's a bad stick my foot over it yeah exactly just hanging over there i won't fall in but it's over
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there yeah and so this is this is again the minimal holiness position and sadly a lot of
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the church adopts this. And when questionable activities, the way that it's shown is that when
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questionable activities, movies, yeah, you know, should we go over, you know, we're dating, we're
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not married yet. Should we go over and hang out at your house by ourselves? You know, questionable
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activities arise. They ask, what's wrong with it? Like, what's wrong with it? Right? Like, in reality,
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it's just watching a movie, right? What's wrong with it? Right? And, you know, maybe it's with
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modesty. Oh, what's wrong with it, right? Like, that's the posture that they're taking. It's a
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posture of, again, of wanting to know how close you can get to sin without sinning. And the second
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category, which I hope that we all are aiming for this category, is the maximum holiness side. And
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this is not asking what's wrong with it, but instead asking, will this make us more like Christ?
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Will this movie, this activity, this dress, this outfit, this job, whatever it is, make me more like Christ?
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And edify even my brothers and sisters in Christ, my children even?
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Will it help me be more discerning of what is evil and what is good?
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Will it put my holiness or my spirit in danger?
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These are really good questions that we need to be asking about opportunities.
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And so a guy named Jeff Abbott, he was a mentor of mine, what, maybe 10 years ago.
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He told me once, he said, do you remember Jeff?
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he said maturity is putting a process between opportunity and decision and you have an
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opportunity I can go do these things or this thing and then you have a process between that
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opportunity and making a decision if you're going to do those things and that's what I'm saying
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here you get some questions is the activity going to make me more like Christ is it going to protect
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my wife or or husband in this matter you know and this applies just to so many areas of life not
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just what movie you're watching totally um yeah how much time you're spending on social media
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what type of music you're listening to and a lot of you guys um you know love a certain type of
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music that again just the lyrics are terrible you know and we've even had this in our marriage
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you know veronica grew up in the hood and um and you know just cleaning out some of those things
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that we just listen to as kids or even before we had kids i mean we're christians before i had kids
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but i'd say very lukewarm in certain areas and there have been times even since having kids
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where i'm like when i am out and i don't have the kids and i'm just like i haven't listened to this
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album in years i'm gonna put it on because it takes me back in like 30 seconds and i'm like
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oh my goodness, this is horrible. You have to like turn it off because I can't tolerate that
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anymore. Yeah. Yeah. We just did this a couple of days ago. We turned on home alone. Okay.
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This is without our kids. Without our kids. This is me and Veronica and a friend. And we're sitting
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there. We turn on home alone and we watched this two years ago. No problem. Just Veronica and I,
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but we watched it and i just go man and not because it's like offensive to us i mean it's
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just i don't say offensive not that it's like oh my gosh i'm gonna sin because i'm watching this
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it's because i'm going look at these children the way that they're speaking to each other i don't
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think we got past the first scene i just go wow i'm just this is filth i don't need to have any
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of this involved in my heart and brain. And it is hard kind of becoming separate from the world
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because you go, oh man, I can't do, I can't watch that. Sin and love are the exact opposites. And I
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want to explain this. Love is benefiting others at the expense of yourself. Sacrifice. Sin is
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benefiting yourself at the expense of others. They are exactly the opposite. And so, you know,
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in decisions with your wife or your husband or the decision you're going to make about watching
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this show or being entertained by these things, you know what? There's sacrifice involved. Our
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flesh loves this stuff. It's filth. And so you just got to really put up some good boundaries
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to protect your heart. Third question. Do you want to be holy like God is holy? I'm going to
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read a scripture. First John 2, 15 through 17. Do not love the world or the things in the world.
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if anyone loves the world the father the love of the father is not in him for all that is in the
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world the lust of the flesh the lust of the eyes and the pride of life is not of the father but is
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of the world and the world is passing away and the lust of it but he who does who does the will
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of god abides forever so what is the world when this verse is referring to the world what is the
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world yeah this is a good question because you know it's talking about don't love the world
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well what is the world is it is it like um the flowers because is that part of the world is it
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you know the house that you own is that part of the world no the world is anything that presents
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itself against the will of god you know which i think pretty much everything that comes out of
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hollywood generally does yeah pretty much yeah the love of things in the world and the love of god
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are incompatible they just don't work yeah you have to realize that like that what it's saying
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there it says do not love the world of the things of the world if anyone loves the world the love
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of the father is not in him if anyone loves the world the love of the father is not in him
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it's saying that the love of things and movies and worldly things that stand against god's will
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and the love of god are incompatible they don't work together
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like they just they just can't be a part of the christian life
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um and uh and by the way people if you guys are listening Veronica is going to answer a question
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about our kids here later so some of you moms that are probably wondering like oh like what do
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we do with our kids on this topic she's going to hit that answer here in a bit um and so the word
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holy this is a this is a big word what does it mean set apart set apart yeah different different
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to be it actually in in hebrew the word means um to cut away to cut away from and so to be separate
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and so if you read the old testament you'll actually see so many examples of god calling
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his people to be holy to be separate i mean they literally they work different schedules
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they live differently, they eat differently, they dress differently. They have all these
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ways of making themselves look different than the other nations. And Christians are called to be
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holy too. In the New Testament, it says, yeah, you know, God is holy. You know, you need to be holy.
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Be holy as God is holy. And God doesn't give us commandments that we can't fulfill. So we need to
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be holy. And that means that we get to work differently. That means that we get to dress
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differently. That means that we get to manage our food differently. That means that we get to
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make, watch different shows and look at media entertainment differently. We're constantly
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trying to look like a peculiar people. And if you live in the world and love that stuff,
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and so we get to look and watch things that are different
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yeah because this is you love Philippians and I think you'll be able to
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talk on this Philippians 4 8 finally brothers whatever is true
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whatever is honorable whatever is just whatever is pure whatever is lovely whatever
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is commendable. If there is any excellence, if there's anything worthy of praise, think about
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these things. Yeah, so I just, you know, if you're a Christian who's watching sin-filled shows and
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movies and media, you're either denying the Holy Spirit and sinning, or you're not a Christian
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and sinning. And so we have to evaluate, like, am I entertained by this stuff? You know, which is,
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again the first questions i'm going to go over them again are you entertained by what god hates
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will this movie or show or media or song make you more like christ um and then the third question
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we just went over here is um do you want to be holy like like god is holy
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so next scripture yeah we got a lot of scriptures here and then and then we'll we'll move on here
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next scripture titus 2 11 through 12 for the grace of god that brings salvation has appeared
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to all men teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts we should live soberly righteously
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and godly in the present age christians are really comfortable with sin um when they don't
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understand how holy god is yeah like this is a really interesting point like we're
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the reason we're okay with it is that because we think that god might be okay with it yeah we
00:27:27.300
project our fallen nature onto god and make him like us and newsflash god is never going to be
00:27:33.780
like us no yeah it's a form of self-medication it is and you know this idea of self-medication
00:27:40.600
is that you're you're trying to make yourself feel better about how gross you are you know
00:27:49.020
and so you're medicating by saying like you know projecting that like god might be okay with a
00:27:54.080
little bit of this stuff like you know it's not that big of a deal right it's not that big of a
00:27:57.180
you like what's wrong with it again we talked about that god is holy yeah he's a holy god and
00:28:03.400
he is okay with zero sin zero sin yeah and so again i just i think it's a good statement that
00:28:11.180
she made is that christians are comfortable with sin christians are i guess who are comfortable
00:28:15.120
with sin just don't understand how holy god is and i think we have to just you know look at that
00:28:29.040
So the big question that we want you guys to evaluate
00:28:48.900
we just did a couple days ago with home alone we're just like oh
00:28:52.200
dang it that's gone now too it's as as you become more like christ
00:28:56.720
the the love and of the things in the world that the desire for these things
00:29:08.200
the word and it's because you're not being sanctified and ask yourself
00:29:11.900
if you've made an idol out of it yeah yeah if it's filling something
00:29:16.500
in your life that only god should be doing and so um you know don't ask we can watch it because
00:29:24.260
it's got a certain rating i just watched a g-rated movie a couple days ago that had a terrible
00:29:33.220
immoral theme underlying it um and i it's a kid's movie yeah we try to watch you know movies if we
00:29:42.280
can before the kids do right yeah i mean this is something like if we're going to let our kids
00:29:46.660
watch them i want to watch it first there have been times where we don't but um i guess i'll
00:29:50.840
answer this in the question later yeah but it's just one of those things that we we uh we try to
00:29:56.120
do but um it's about asking yourself is the content going to desensitize me is it going to deaden my
00:30:01.600
joy is it going to make me less like christ again these are questions that i want you guys to ask
00:30:06.260
yourself and the last point is just men if your wife is uncomfortable with you watching something
00:30:13.880
I'm sure many of you are listening and made this mistake
00:30:24.320
you or she makes it evident that she's uncomfortable
00:30:34.240
as Christ of the church and gave himself up for her
00:30:41.980
do you really care about that show and that scene more than you care about your
00:30:46.920
wife I hope not and so just just let it go fight and have a big argument because
00:30:51.960
of it yeah worth it and if it is illogical turn it off have a very quiet
00:30:58.940
and gentle conversation about it hear her heart talk to her about those things
00:31:02.980
and possibly she's misinterpreting this and then you can walk through it and go
00:31:07.720
back and watch that show if it's not what she thought it was and so um those are just some
00:31:14.100
points so we got a question veronica's gonna hit it she's done yawning yes um so the question
00:31:22.240
we got is how much tv and media do you allow your kids to watch per week well this year as you guys
00:31:30.660
have as you guys know has been insane we've been sick a lot this year um you know there's when we
00:31:38.100
had a fever in our house for 21 days and we're all sick and vomiting and colds and our son has
00:31:44.160
asthma and i had lyme disease and miscarriage and so there's a lot of seasons this year where we've
00:31:52.180
been sick and so our kids have actually been watching way more tv or movies than than i would
00:31:59.120
like um but ideally it's i mean maybe a show a day but there have also been uh long seasons where
00:32:10.620
our kids will go weeks without watching anything yeah um but right now i think we're still trying
00:32:15.480
to get our uh i feel like we're just coming up for air yeah get our pace back we've been drowning
00:32:21.700
for so long with just trials um i feel like we're just coming back up for air and so there'll be
00:32:28.500
like you know a 30 minute slot of time during the day we're all at the kids watch something so
00:32:34.800
I can catch up on things that I've been putting aside for so long and they're just you know
00:32:41.160
starting to add up and build up and then let me see
00:32:45.320
another thing that I was going to mention earlier when Dale brought it up with this movie that he
00:32:53.680
watched um we're also absolutely not afraid to turn something off in the middle of our kids
00:32:58.920
watching it yeah if there's something that is on and we see something or hear something that
00:33:06.820
we're just like hey like that's that's not right um we'll shut it off right then and there and
00:33:13.100
sure they'll fuss and why why'd you do that mom um and i'll just tell them the truth
00:33:20.140
um and so in those moments and i'll just change it to something that i know for a fact that
00:33:26.660
we don't um have an issue with um and then something else that a friend of ours mentor
00:33:33.420
figure of ours mentioned once is we're training our children's appetites
00:33:38.260
so if we're constantly watching tv you're training your child to have an appetite for that
00:33:45.360
um or if you're if you're constantly reading books you're you're training your child to have
00:33:51.300
an appetite for more literature and more reading and um so that's just another thing to keep in
00:33:57.220
mind do you have anything to add yeah i mean i as a dad i sometimes notice things that maybe
00:34:02.660
veronica misses and um she notices things that are generally more on the sensitive side and i'm
00:34:08.840
noticing things more on, like, the underlying theme of kids' movies.
00:34:14.140
And so now every movie, every good movie has a plot.
00:34:18.560
There's, you know, you've probably heard the book about seven basic plots.
00:34:21.400
So there's only so many plots that you can have.
00:34:23.560
And generally, even in a good movie with a heroic ending or there's a plot of tragedy,
00:34:30.580
there's a plot of trial, there's a plot of a problem.
00:34:32.920
And those can be really bad and those can be really okay
00:34:36.440
as long as the narrative of the show is actually redemptive it's good and so those are hard to
00:34:43.000
find in most shows and they're also age appropriate so there's certain things that
00:34:49.160
that yeah your your three-year-old can't watch that your nine-year-old can that you're right
00:34:54.840
you know 15 year old totally can yeah because there have been shows that we watch and we're
00:34:58.360
just like okay like not yet our kids aren't ready for that yet yeah they can watch that
00:35:03.480
i don't know when their maturity level is to that level of what that movie shares or um shows but
00:35:10.480
yeah and so this this is the the journey that you have to look for i also as a dad i look at the
00:35:15.700
underlying themes as i said i'm so sensitive to this stuff i can discern if there is a
00:35:21.120
sexuality agenda that's below it i can discern if there is a um uh just a sense of disobedient
00:35:30.580
agenda below it you know the disobedient children a lot of kids movies yeah I can discern if there
00:35:37.660
is some sort of gender confusion agenda that's under it and there's a lot of these things that
00:35:45.540
are happening in the movies today we gotta keep an eye on that stuff on how it goes into your head
00:35:50.920
and again if your kids you know watched it one time they're probably not going to catch it but
00:35:54.440
if it becomes that movie that your kids watch a couple times a year and they start buying the
00:35:58.900
things and singing the songs and all the whatever that stuff is trust me satan is all up in this
00:36:03.520
stuff okay like just don't think that there's these like perfectly holy movies um and so uh
00:36:09.940
yeah our kids you know they usually watch if we can like uh what's the uh on youtube a lot um
00:36:17.340
there's this cartoon called the beginner's bible yeah there you go and a lot of you guys probably
00:36:22.020
have that little kid's bible it's like they make bibles um but it's called the beginner's bible
00:36:26.960
and it's just these cartoons of jonah and the big fish or noah's ark or uh the creation story
00:36:35.840
the birth of jesus it's just that you know the main yeah bible stories david and goliath um
00:36:42.240
and there's some other ones that like are made by hannah barbera like which made like scooby-doo
00:36:47.060
and stuff they're from like the 70s and they're like cool they're a little bit more intense you
00:36:51.540
got to watch them but but like bible stories we do a lot of those kind of things if the kids are
00:36:55.620
going to watch a show yeah it's so funny we put that that on the other day and in the introduction
00:37:00.600
there's like a three or four minute introduction of this guy talking charleston heston yeah he's
00:37:06.380
just sitting there talking like explaining the story before it goes into the cartoon part
00:37:10.300
and aria's like oh mom this guy just tells me all about the story and then the show's going to start
00:37:15.360
it's just like so funny he's like 70 telling the story so yeah so there's things like that and our
00:37:21.080
kids yeah we watch a lot of stuff from the 80s and 90s clifford although there's certain ones
00:37:26.540
that i'll fast forward i'll skip the bernstein bears you know those are the things that we try
00:37:32.720
to also even watch those with um with a filter yeah because most of them are usually fine but
00:37:40.340
every now and then you'll come across one that you're just like okay not about that yeah so
00:37:44.060
again it just takes us being intentional and putting up these boundaries and they are important
00:37:50.260
Because a lifetime without these boundaries will lead you into an appetite for things that are opposite of God.
00:37:56.900
And a lifetime with these boundaries will make you more holy and make you more separate.
00:38:05.620
We have lots of kids books and we've thrown away quite a few.
00:38:09.720
There have been multiple where Dale just like does it straight in the fireplace.
00:38:20.260
for the hearts of your children and your own mind um so especially because when they're young
00:38:26.240
you're you're literally developing their conscience their their uh understanding their
00:38:32.660
moral compass and so you gotta be extra on guard when they're young who cares if you paid money
00:38:37.180
for the book yeah get rid of it yeah throw it away yeah i've bought movies i for 20 to watch
00:38:43.700
as a family and have been renting it or buying it for on apple tv and we're sitting there for
00:38:50.240
eight minutes in I go okay I'll turn that off and you know okay now what are we gonna do because I
00:38:55.620
just told the kids we're gonna do a movie night and so I have to go by looking for something else
00:38:59.260
you know but yeah we do it just because we want to protect their hearts so again guys if you
00:39:06.560
get a chance oh you know what we didn't do we didn't do the memory verse memory verse memory
00:39:12.260
verse and guys I read a little bit ago this is a this is like a cornerstone verse so try to have
00:39:17.020
this memory verse i've i tried memorizing a while back and i like forgot about it but
00:39:21.060
it's a good one to have memorized especially i think i for me i needed to memorize it for like
00:39:25.760
just the season of motherhood that i'm in yeah um so philippians 4 8 finally brothers whatever
00:39:31.160
is true whatever is honorable whatever is just whatever is pure whatever is lovely whatever is
00:39:35.640
commendable if there is any excellence if there is anything worthy of praise think about these
00:39:41.480
things. That is Philippians 4.8. Yeah, so hopefully you guys can get some memory down on that.
00:39:48.980
A couple things before we close. If you guys want to watch this video, if you're a regular
00:39:53.800
listener to the show and you're just, you know, done it always on Spotify or on iTunes, you guys
00:39:58.740
can watch this. Just go to ultimatemarriage.com forward slash. Actually, I always say this. It's
00:40:02.600
not forward slash. Just go to ultimatemarriage.com and then just go to the podcast page. That's the
00:40:06.760
easiest way to get there. Just watch it on YouTube. You can watch it on YouTube there. Yeah, and you
00:40:10.000
can subscribe on YouTube. But we have all the links and all the scripture and all the one-liners
00:40:14.300
that I try to gather from what we said in the show. They're all available there. You can also
00:40:19.600
listen to the audio there as well, download it, whatever you want to do. You can share that with
00:40:23.160
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00:40:27.840
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00:40:33.020
give us a, whatever rating you, I hope it's a five star, but give us a rating. And this again,
00:40:39.140
really help the exposure of the show. And then the last thing, again, we're going to mention is
00:40:44.020
that if you want to be part of our six-week program, we're going to open this up. It's closed
00:40:48.140
most of the year, but we're going to open it up in the beginning of the year sometime, within the
00:40:54.580
first couple months of the year. And we have a waiting list of people that want to be in this
00:41:00.560
next group. If you want to be in this next group, this awesome six-week program, these much longer
00:41:07.080
in-depth conversations about theology of marriage and biblical roles and these kind of things.
00:41:12.540
If you want to be involved, again, go to ultimatemarriage.com forward slash notify.
00:41:23.420
Okay, guys, we will see you next week on Ultimate Marriage.