Dale Partridge - Ultimate Marriage #9： How The Bible Instructs Christians To Manage Their Money

00:00:00.000 Hey guys and welcome to another episode of Ultimate Marriage. Today we're going to be

00:00:14.180 talking about what the Bible has to say about managing your money. So this is going to be a

00:00:19.960 fun show, Money Management. It's funny because I actually come from the entrepreneurship world.

00:00:25.740 I've dealt with this conversation quite a bit. I started several businesses and also helped,

00:00:32.960 or I started a company that helped people start businesses. So I understand kind of

00:00:36.360 the conversation about work and the conversation about money pretty well. And I've learned a lot

00:00:43.080 and been around that crowd, been around a lot of people that have made a lot of money, been around

00:00:46.820 a lot of people who have lost a lot of money. And so it's fun to actually implement those life

00:00:51.880 lessons that we've had over the last several years into a marriage conversation today a couple things

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00:01:50.960 So, we're going to start the conversation.

00:01:54.080 Get started.

00:01:54.920 Okay, so we hope that you guys recognize, just real quick, that we're not here to share our perspective.

00:02:02.220 We're here to share the Bible's perspective on these matters, on these topics.

00:02:07.460 and our mission is to look at the scriptures position

00:02:11.920 and just present it to you

00:02:13.100 and you get to evaluate if you're actually going to follow that

00:02:16.680 to put yourself in a situation that you get to kind of see

00:02:20.200 if you're walking in a way that is different

00:02:23.980 than what the Bible says to walk

00:02:25.640 if there's actually a gap between what you're doing

00:02:27.840 and what the word is saying

00:02:30.000 yeah so the reason why we decided to speak on money finances

00:02:35.120 is because the top three reasons for divorce is in america is sex money and children so this is a

00:02:42.980 crucial topic for marriage christian marriages in the church um that we should be talking about

00:02:48.760 um now i think a lot of you guys may be thinking well that's probably easy for you guys to talk

00:02:54.680 about because you guys probably don't have any financial struggles um but that hasn't always

00:02:58.580 been the case you know um when dale and i got married i came in i didn't have any debt and i

00:03:05.760 had i don't know maybe a thousand two thousand bucks in my savings account i think she's being

00:03:10.820 modest i think she had like two to five thousand in there i was pretty impressed i don't remember

00:03:14.840 at all i think it was probably about two thousand but maybe it was more yeah anyway it was a score

00:03:19.620 when she's she was 19 or almost oh yeah just turned 20 yeah and uh and i came in with like

00:03:26.500 just pristine finances. Dale came in with about $80,000 in debt. And this wasn't student loans.

00:03:36.600 This wasn't some noble debt. Best Buy credit cards. Yeah. Best Buy credit cards. I bought

00:03:42.880 stupid TVs, IRS debt. Your car was not paid off. Yeah. Yeah. So we didn't own a home. 1.00

00:03:51.300 um my car was paid off when we first got married because i came in with my car was a 1997

00:03:58.040 yeah honda accord maybe it's 91 yeah 91 it's a 1991 honda accord his name was jamal his name

00:04:05.960 was jamal um and dale had a toyota camry hybrid that was like brand spanking new yeah and totally

00:04:14.660 had like twenty thousand dollars needed you know still to pay on it so but when we first got married

00:04:19.620 all that to say is we were not financially stable at all um we didn't own a home we were renting an

00:04:25.880 apartment for um a couple of years renting for several years and then when i moved in it was

00:04:29.960 probably just about that last year yeah um until we bought our first house um but we didn't own

00:04:34.480 our cars and we were making combined less than 40 grand a year and we were both working yeah i was

00:04:40.580 a dog groomer at pet smart yeah veronica was dog grooming at pet smart i was a struggling

00:04:45.380 an entrepreneur, refusing to get a job, trying to figure out how to make it on my own. Um, and so

00:04:51.440 this was, this was our life. So we can absolutely relate with the reality and the struggle of money.

00:04:57.860 Um, I know for some of you guys that have followed me through the business world, um, yeah, I've had

00:05:02.980 companies that have, we've grown them to multimillion dollar companies and we've had that

00:05:07.440 experience. Veronica's spilling water over here. If you're watching the video version and, um, and 1.00

00:05:12.580 so we've gone from just kind of this very modest lifestyle to we know what it's like to make money

00:05:20.620 and we actually have still even struggled to lose money and figure out how to regain it back so we

00:05:25.580 can relate with you guys on that journey and we were also not raised in wealthy homes no as well

00:05:30.920 yeah so it's not like we we came from this we didn't come from this background um you kind of

00:05:36.680 just started from scratch yes blue collar family um on both sides and so yeah we were just kind of

00:05:43.520 middle of the road um family so so absolutely this is something that we've learned as well on

00:05:48.680 our own journey and we understand um that the church has done not the greatest job i mean outside

00:05:55.260 of dave ramsey and his financial peace university the church has not done a great job of teaching

00:06:00.720 christians christian married couples christian families on how to manage their money according

00:06:06.520 to the scriptures, how to think about money according to the scriptures. And secondly,

00:06:13.420 I believe that people that offer advice on any area, that they don't have the authority or the

00:06:20.900 credibility to actually give that advice, I think is wrong. And I think Jesus actually talks about,

00:06:25.980 I'm going to read you a scripture. It's Matthew 7, 3 through 5. It says, Jesus, oh, sorry. It says,

00:06:32.840 And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?

00:06:38.500 Or how can you say to your brother, let me remove the speck from your eye.

00:06:41.780 And look, a plank is in your own eye. 1.00

00:06:44.540 Hypocrite! 1.00

00:06:46.600 First, remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. 1.00

00:06:53.680 And so, on that note, I wanted to say this first because we're going to give you some instruction on money.

00:06:59.360 And I wouldn't want to give you instruction if we hadn't taken our own advice on this topic of money.

00:07:06.140 So, Veronica and I, a couple things.

00:07:08.820 We don't have any debt.

00:07:10.660 We have paid off our house.

00:07:12.980 We have no mortgage, which was not easy and took several years of paying down big payments and bigger payments and bigger payments if we could do that.

00:07:24.020 And then taking lump sums that we would get and pay those off.

00:07:26.920 We also have invested into rental properties, and we're buying real estate that way now.

00:07:33.480 We have a retirement plan that we're working on.

00:07:36.400 We don't owe any money on our cars.

00:07:39.020 And we actually even live, we've had seasons where we've lived really tightly on a budget, and then we've been still coming down.

00:07:47.560 Well, yeah, we're on a budget now, just to be smart with our money.

00:07:51.740 But we actually even share a car.

00:07:53.360 We technically do have two cars.

00:07:55.920 but Dale has a classic truck that only gets driven about 10 times a year because it needs a new

00:07:59.940 radiator can't overheat and he doesn't want to drive it when it's wet outside which is half the

00:08:03.980 year yeah so yeah you drive about 10 times a year so we're pretty much a one car family yes we have

00:08:09.180 a suburban we have a suburban yeah yeah and so that's a really good point is that we we've just

00:08:13.440 kind of learned to live on less we definitely live on less than what we make and um and so that this

00:08:20.420 is just again the authority of why we're gonna uh what we're gonna talk about right now um

00:08:25.380 and yeah so veronica's uh has something to say on that yeah and it's like dale said it's taken

00:08:32.120 us years to get here it didn't just happen overnight um but we believe that you and your

00:08:37.100 spouse can get here too yeah um it's not so much about making more money or even saving more money

00:08:43.380 it's about having a healthy understanding of it yeah um and today dale and i are going to

00:08:47.840 briefly share about what the bible says about money yeah so again it's just about the the

00:08:52.700 overall topic of money is really the important part. It's not necessarily the tactical. So I

00:09:00.000 want you guys to kind of a right understanding of money, the biblical understanding of money

00:09:03.180 as a married couple. This is a core piece of advice. Again, it's actually said in some articles

00:09:08.280 that money's the number one reason that people get divorced. And then some articles say that

00:09:13.400 it's sex, but this is a big deal. Money causes a lot of problems. Possessions cause a lot of

00:09:17.980 problems. So I'm going to be kind of walking through. We have four scriptures that we're

00:09:21.980 going to be talking about, Veronica is going to kind of introduce those to those in a little bit

00:09:25.360 here. But Jesus talked about money a lot. And so I want to give you guys a bit of the understanding

00:09:32.940 of how much 16, I'm looking at some notes here, 16 of the 38 parables were concerned about money

00:09:38.480 and possessions. In the gospels, one out of 10 verses, that's 288 verses are about money and

00:09:46.680 possessions. They directly deal with the subject of money. There are over 500 verses on prayer.

00:09:52.460 There's over 500 verses or about 500 verses on faith. There's over 2,000 verses on money

00:09:59.240 and possessions. It's a big deal in the Bible. And so the Christian church and Christian couples,

00:10:06.660 married couples, we have to stop adopting the culture's perspective of money. The Bible has 0.93

00:10:12.980 given us a plan, a directive, a mindset, a belief system on money, and we need to actually,

00:10:19.560 I guess, mold or bend according to the word and not according to what everybody else does.

00:10:25.280 Even if people in the church do it, we have to actually yield to what the scriptures speak about

00:10:31.300 that. And the rate of debt currently in the church in terms of Christians is almost identical to the 0.54

00:10:37.980 rate of debt in the secular world. 73% of people die in debt, which is a really sad thing. They're

00:10:45.860 not leaving an inheritance for anybody. They literally owe people money. It's a sad reality.

00:10:52.220 And people are curious. We have to remember this. People are curious when Christians don't have

00:10:58.120 debt or where they don't spend their money in a same way that the rest of the world does.

00:11:03.840 And when people are curious, it's a big deal because we have to recognize that the power of living a biblical life, you know, is evangelistic.

00:11:16.340 And people that don't live that way, and you live in debt, you operate exactly the same way the world does, it actually does hurt your Christian witness.

00:11:25.340 And I don't think we realize that enough, is that when you're in debt and you have credit cards and you've made all the same decisions that the world has made,

00:11:32.080 lost their curiosity. You're not a peculiar people, as the scriptures say. You're not any

00:11:37.700 different. We need to be radically different, so different as Christian couples that people go, 1.00

00:11:43.320 like, why are you like that? Like, why have you made a decision to do that instead of to do that? 0.99

00:11:48.800 Like, you guys are living differently. And so it's a really important concept to remember that

00:11:54.120 the way we handle our money can hurt our Christian witness. And if that's not the way that you're

00:12:00.940 living it's something that you guys should evaluate as a couple yeah so the first scripture

00:12:05.560 we're going to be talking about is going to be first timothy 6 10 and that says for the love of

00:12:10.540 money is a root of all kinds of evil for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness

00:12:16.680 and pierce themselves through with many sorrows yeah so um it's interesting so it says that money

00:12:24.580 is not the root of all evil it says the love of money is a root um and we've seen people

00:12:33.820 fall from this yeah i mean we're there we other christians we've literally seen people

00:12:40.360 walk away because we've seen people choose money over their marriage and it deteriorate yeah and

00:12:48.440 money over their community money over all types of things so this is not some foreign concept this

00:12:53.100 is absolutely practical in the church today. Money is morally neutral in the scriptures,

00:13:00.320 and the Bible says that both wealthy and poor are considered godly. So you don't want to have

00:13:08.020 the prosperity gospel in your mind. You don't want to have the poverty gospel in your mind,

00:13:11.620 where like, if you're poor, you're more holy. That's not the correct way to think about it

00:13:16.160 either. And don't think that you're immune to the love of money. In Mark, Jesus is talking about the

00:13:22.640 parable of the sowers. And one of the reasons he talks about where the seed falls on the wrong

00:13:27.380 soil, one of the reasons he gives is this, and I'm going to read it to you real quick.

00:13:32.480 He says, now these are the ones sown among the thorns. They are the ones who hear the word,

00:13:38.640 and the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things

00:13:44.940 entering in, choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. And so we have to realize that

00:13:51.660 riches are deceitful. Like they actually, the Bible declares that money is deceitful

00:13:58.620 and that our flesh will desire that. And so just think about that for a bit. Just remember that

00:14:04.620 you can actually be fooled to fall in love with your money and to fall in love with your possessions.

00:14:10.760 and the Bible warns us about that.

00:14:13.380 Yeah, that actually makes me think of a quote

00:14:15.040 in your book, Save from Success,

00:14:17.520 which you can get on Amazon

00:14:18.380 or your local Barnes & Noble.

00:14:20.740 Yeah.

00:14:22.440 But I will read it here.

00:14:23.640 I have it written down just so I don't butcher it.

00:14:25.840 And it says,

00:14:26.860 the culture says,

00:14:28.040 if you have a lot of money, celebrate.

00:14:30.260 You're standing on thick ice.

00:14:32.140 The Bible says,

00:14:32.980 if you have a lot of money, be careful.

00:14:34.820 You're standing on thin ice.

00:14:36.520 Yeah, this is a huge contrast.

00:14:38.500 the culture says hey you got tons of money man dude you're totally set the

00:14:43.140 Bible says hey if you got lots of money be very careful with it be cautious be

00:14:47.920 cautious it's dangerous it could be it can actually it's one of the reasons

00:14:52.900 that can actually pull you away from your salvation pull you away from your

00:14:56.020 faith you can walk away from the Lord because of a love for money and so that's

00:15:02.500 a that's a dangerous thing yeah and for many years money and work was a very very touchy topic in our

00:15:10.660 marriage um kind of still is sometimes in terms of like the work it can be every now and then yeah

00:15:16.820 we've had lots of fights about these issues and for the first few years dale wouldn't have said

00:15:22.740 that work was a priority over me yeah like in my in my mind like on the test on the exam

00:15:30.100 I would have checked, like, oh, Veronica's the priority over, like, work.

00:15:34.760 Yeah.

00:15:35.500 So, but since then, you've changed.

00:15:38.160 Thank God for the Holy Spirit doing the work inside of you.

00:15:40.940 Yeah.

00:15:41.140 And your obedience to the word.

00:15:43.120 But, yeah, for years, it was definitely rearranged.

00:15:48.380 Your priorities were.

00:15:49.420 Yeah, we had fights a lot.

00:15:52.220 And obviously, I'm sharing this with his permission.

00:15:54.300 Yeah.

00:15:54.480 I'm not slandering you.

00:15:55.840 No, but, yeah, that was the real thing.

00:15:58.220 That's the reality of what it was.

00:16:00.520 So, yeah, if you're in a situation where husbands are working too much,

00:16:04.280 you have a workaholic husband, or the priorities are wrong,

00:16:08.220 where, like, sure, they might say that, no, you know, God, you know, wife, you know, family, you know, work.

00:16:14.600 Like, that's the correct priority structure.

00:16:16.740 But in reality, that's not the case.

00:16:18.620 Your actions display your priorities.

00:16:21.180 Yes, they do.

00:16:22.180 And this needs to change. 1.00

00:16:24.080 A biblical man will change that. 0.86

00:16:26.340 and we're going to talk a little bit more

00:16:28.160 about what that looks like here in a second.

00:16:31.100 The scriptures teach in Romans 12, 2

00:16:34.160 that God's will is perfect.

00:16:37.380 It means that God's not going to make you be,

00:16:40.400 God's not going to require that you're disobedient

00:16:42.640 to one command in order to be obedient

00:16:45.820 to another part of his commands.

00:16:48.100 And so ultimately what I'm saying that is

00:16:50.800 is that God's plan for your life, for your work,

00:16:54.040 his call on your work, will not compromise your family. It will not compromise your marriage.

00:17:01.200 And so if you are in a work schedule or a money plan or you have drive to build something

00:17:11.000 and it's compromising your marriage and your family or your spiritual life, then you're outside

00:17:16.060 of God's plan. Because while God's plan won't compromise your marriage, your plan will.

00:17:22.220 and that's a big deal to make to pay attention to as a man as the provider of the home and it took

00:17:28.440 me several years to realize um that that my desire to make more money and to build isn't sometimes

00:17:36.500 god's desire and just kind of distinguishing those and we'll talk even i'll mention that a

00:17:42.180 little bit later in the show today um but the limit the really the only limit that you can have

00:17:48.340 for work is one is yeah making sure that you're not you're trying to keep a sabbath day

00:17:53.320 and then um which i believe again is sunday um but we can have those theological debates later

00:17:58.260 but the idea is that that um

00:18:00.880 your the throttle of your work and your chasing of those dreams should be dependent upon how healthy

00:18:10.500 your marriage and your family are and those those are the kind of signals about how much you can

00:18:15.860 work it might be 20 hours a week in certain seasons of life it might be 60 hours a week in

00:18:20.380 certain seasons of life and you get to base that off of your relationship with your spouse

00:18:26.280 in there so yeah so the next scripture we're going to be talking about this will be the second one

00:18:31.980 is going to be proverbs 22 7 the rich rules over the poor and the borrower is servant to the lender

00:18:39.640 what do you think about this scripture what do i think about this scripture yeah we're going

00:18:45.140 off track you're off of our notes no you can't do that to me i like my notes um

00:18:50.620 i mean you're yeah you're exactly what it says you're a slave to the lender

00:18:57.780 you're tied to yeah think about our life when we had debt what was it like

00:19:01.380 you're forced to work and and a lot and how much of it you know we were probably paying

00:19:07.980 25 of our income was probably going to debt payments for a while

00:19:15.140 it's horrible yeah you were a slave to the lender you had to work your tail off

00:19:20.040 to pay off these bills yeah and just especially the irs oh my gosh don't go into doubt the irs

00:19:26.080 people um so i'm going to read this one more time it says the rich rules over the poor and the

00:19:31.260 borrower is servant to the lender you guys have heard this before right like you know you're

00:19:36.660 slave to the lender that's that's the shorter version of it yeah and i like this passage

00:19:40.780 because it speaks honestly about the relationship between the debtor and the creditor.

00:19:45.880 It's an honest relation, or it just speaks honestly about that.

00:19:49.380 And see, God wants us in a position that we have the freedom to serve him.

00:19:53.100 He wants us in that position.

00:19:54.200 And I think a lot of people feel or have a sense of being called to somewhere

00:20:00.380 and to work for God, to build something for his kingdom.

00:20:04.800 But we don't have the freedom to do so.

00:20:07.280 we literally can't because we we we owe the bank we owe the payments and and we're limited on what

00:20:15.320 we can do and now we kind of blend in with the rest of the culture because everybody else is in

00:20:18.800 debt too but yeah but if you're gonna be a person also with integrity you got yourself there but if

00:20:24.900 you're a christian you want to be a man of your word of integrity you've got to pay off pay that

00:20:28.680 off yeah and i mean how's our life been just talk about our life in terms of since we paid off our

00:20:33.300 mortgage like just i think we just have had a lot more freedom yeah ultimately like i mean you work

00:20:38.940 from home which i know is a huge blessing and that's not the case for most people most people

00:20:43.920 don't have um a husband that can work from home and then i'm a stay-at-home mom so we're home a lot

00:20:49.800 together um which is really nice and you can take breaks when you need to and i mean this last year

00:20:56.720 we've had walked through many many trials and so through those trials you have been able to

00:21:02.640 put many things on hold that you were working on and just stop them to focus back on family

00:21:09.500 and getting me healthy and watching the kids so I can rest and I mean we with a budget with no

00:21:17.500 mortgage you could pull back your expenses so far if you needed to and like stretch your savings for

00:21:23.580 several months or you can just have the freedom to just rest if you need to rest. And, and so

00:21:30.240 having that paid off is a big deal for our family. I once heard maturity is defined as learning to

00:21:37.080 delay current pleasure in order to, or for the sake of future peace. So I'm going to say that

00:21:42.780 again, so I don't butcher, I'm going to read it real quick. Maturity is defined as learning to

00:21:48.240 delay current pleasure for the sake of future peace and i i think this really speaks to the

00:21:55.780 idea of do i really need that thing to buy do i need to buy that thing do i actually need those

00:22:00.920 things you know children they do what they feel like they they they do what feels good christian

00:22:08.540 couples do what the bible says is right and so yeah i mean do we need those things john townsend

00:22:15.860 is it a want or a need is it a want or a need and and we have to realize that our needs

00:22:22.640 are like a thousand miles lower than our wants and so our wants are just we have to really

00:22:31.180 distinguish those in our hearts john townsend um dr john townsend who wrote the book boundaries

00:22:36.480 he uh he said a really great quote he says we need to learn to we need to learn the difference

00:22:41.900 between a need which should be met and a entitled or an entitled desire which should be starved

00:22:49.380 and the culture is just that we think that we need all these things when in reality we don't

00:22:56.080 and i'll tell you what when you pay off all your debt and you still make the same amount of money

00:22:59.740 you can buy all types of fun stuff what did we just buy yeah we just bought a side-by-side

00:23:05.500 little off-roading car thing those like what are they what are they called just like a ranger it's

00:23:11.980 a ranger yeah aren't they called like a utv an atv a utv a utility vehicle kind of thing yeah and

00:23:18.700 they're they're there it's just the awesome little thing for our property and we went and bought it

00:23:23.420 cash and because we can and it was fun and it doesn't affect uh our finances in any way we

00:23:30.380 budgeted for it we had some fun money to go do that and we've already had a ton of fun with our

00:23:34.620 family in it um so yeah thinking about that is that don't walk into slavery this is the gospel

00:23:42.800 comes to free us from slavery including just the freedom of knowing the truth the rest of the world

00:23:47.660 doesn't know these concepts they don't look at everybody in debt they don't have the bible to

00:23:52.580 teach them the truth about money we have that we have the oracles of god leverage that walk

00:23:58.960 according to that way don't go into debt yeah and sadly i've seen so many mothers forced to work

00:24:05.440 and many children even in the church are being outsourced and not because that's the mother's

00:24:10.900 heart's desire but because unfortunately their parents had made poor financial decisions

00:24:16.800 and that has forced them to maintain a dual income and keep a lifestyle that's just unsustainable

00:24:26.180 yeah there's it's really sad actually is that debt does again affect not just the money game

00:24:33.220 but it affects the entire family yeah and i mean i have women writing me all the time emailing me or

00:24:38.380 you know direct messaging me on instagram saying like i i would love to be a stay-at-home mom but

00:24:44.060 i just can't like i can't we we both have to work yeah we have do we have student loans that we took

00:24:49.920 on or whatever it might be and so again i just go if you can't pay for it cash it's not god's will

00:24:55.520 that's a crazy statement now is there emergency exception circumstances that are just unique and

00:25:04.380 different and the lord might have something that you'd walk through and who knows but i'm saying

00:25:09.180 in general if you can't pay for it cash it's not god's will because again god doesn't make you be

00:25:16.020 disobedient to one of his commands one of his values in order for you to be obedient to something

00:25:22.860 else and so if the lord brought you to it he's going to make a way for you to get through it and

00:25:28.340 and that's so if you need some money you gotta pray for it and figure out how you're gonna make

00:25:32.620 it happen but but don't go into debt um i know that's a hard thing to hear i mean it's easier

00:25:38.840 for us to say now that we've had a mortgage and those different things but um but something to

00:25:45.260 consider um okay where we next scripture uh scripture number three we're going to be talk

00:25:50.420 about going to be talking about is proverbs 13 22 a good man leaves in sorry a good man leaves

00:25:58.540 an inheritance to his children's children okay i think this is interesting um you know it this

00:26:05.220 passage gives christians vision especially christian men it gives this it gives big vision

00:26:11.620 if you want to retire at say 65 which is the america's standard of retirement i know a lot

00:26:18.020 of people probably won't fully retire, but if you wanted to retire at 65 and you wanted to have

00:26:22.660 enough money to last you until you're 90, which any financial advisor would recommend. Um, and

00:26:28.360 you wanted to have $50,000 a year, uh, without taking in consideration inflation because $50,000

00:26:35.620 today in 25 years, $50,000 is not going to be enough to sustain because the way that inflation

00:26:41.040 works. But let's just say that you just had a blanketed $50,000 times, you know, what, 25 years.

00:26:46.720 that's 1.25 million dollars that you need saved okay that that's a lot of money and that's why

00:26:53.680 it's important now that we are focusing as christians to make sure that we can sustain

00:26:58.060 and provide for ourselves so we don't put that burden on our children but instead this scripture

00:27:02.440 says no not not just have enough money for you but have enough money for an inheritance for not

00:27:10.260 just your children your children's children but for your children's children okay this is a big

00:27:16.080 deal. A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. This is Proverbs. This is

00:27:21.580 probably written by Solomon. And so a godly husband needs to work hard. He needs to work

00:27:30.380 smart. He needs to work in a way that doesn't compromise his family. He needs to pray for

00:27:34.700 God's blessing on his life for wisdom and discernment. And men, if you're not serious

00:27:41.660 about generating wealth, if you're not serious about paying off your mortgage, if you're just

00:27:46.680 kind of spending money and doing what feels good right now, then pay attention. Wake up.

00:27:53.240 You need to be leaving money behind for not just your children, but your children's children

00:27:57.620 having that vision. So I just want you guys to know is that a godly man isn't just a provider

00:28:06.200 for himself and his kids he is a provider for generations and i i mean we're really trying to

00:28:11.960 do this and veronica's going to talk about that in a second but we're we're very much trying to

00:28:15.900 do that are you that man are you thinking about your grandchildren not just like that they will

00:28:21.120 be there but you're going to give them something leave something behind for them to not start at

00:28:24.820 zero and not only like just when you're when you're old and die when you're 80 something years

00:28:30.340 old but also like even now like i get life insurance i know dave ramsey's huge on that but

00:28:35.020 Yeah. You never know if something's going to happen to your husband or your wife. And if Dale were to die tomorrow, hopefully that doesn't happen. But I know that myself and the kids are set. We're totally taken care of. Yep. And so.

00:28:50.680 Yeah. And giving your wife that, I mean, Veronica has life insurance on me enough. And she also has counsel. I've sought up counsel for her in terms of how to spend that money so that she doesn't have to worry about the details. You know, we have all of our information inside of a trust. We're organized in our financial house. And that's a really big deal. It's a mark of an organized and mature man. 0.93

00:29:12.900 and um uh yeah she'd be able to take that money and buy real estate investments and be fine

00:29:19.840 and so yeah and so like dale said we lord willing are are trying to accomplish this in in our life

00:29:27.980 and in our marriage um we're hoping to acquire some rental properties yep um that we can hand

00:29:33.120 down to our children so that they could hand it down to their children um because it would just

00:29:37.980 be such a blessing just imagine starting life out on your own or as with your new wife or

00:29:42.780 husband your spouse um without a mortgage yeah yeah without like owing the bank and how much

00:29:49.580 more time that would allow them for ministry or doing whatever god has um called on their life

00:29:55.760 or um you know time to give them investing opportunities yeah um instead of laboring to

00:30:03.720 pay off the bank yeah it's it's you know we actually have a friend uh friends they're they're

00:30:09.780 identical twin brothers david and jason benham and they have a real estate empire they're you

00:30:15.780 know what 10 years older than me so they're 43 almost 44 and um they're awesome guys and they

00:30:22.820 have i don't know maybe 40 or 50 real estate investments going now and they're completely

00:30:29.860 i mean they're completely retired ultimately and they're just godly men and they're they're

00:30:35.800 they're getting ready to start training up their,

00:30:38.060 their oldest boys to hand down that,

00:30:40.140 that real estate empire.

00:30:41.740 And they started from scratch.

00:30:43.560 They started from scratch.

00:30:45.160 And so they're going to,

00:30:46.320 they're going to fulfill that leaving an inheritance for your children's

00:30:49.740 children.

00:30:50.340 Now,

00:30:50.780 a lot of people are going to argue that scripture is just about a,

00:30:52.880 a spiritual inheritance,

00:30:53.900 which it could be.

00:30:55.400 But I think it's,

00:30:56.340 when you look back at the scripture above it and below it,

00:30:58.620 it's definitely specifically referencing money as well.

00:31:02.620 So the last scripture we're going to talk about is first,

00:31:05.800 Timothy 6.6, godliness with contentment is great gain.

00:31:10.160 Okay, this one's convicting for myself,

00:31:11.820 so I'm going to preach on it with as much authority as I can.

00:31:15.960 Now, we all have different vices and struggles.

00:31:19.640 One of mine is discontentment.

00:31:21.720 I really struggle with just this idea of being content with where I'm at.

00:31:26.060 I mean, I feel like there's something in the way that the Lord made me

00:31:28.780 that actually kind of rubs against this as well.

00:31:32.260 I'm an achiever.

00:31:33.120 It's the achiever in him.

00:31:34.260 If you didn't hear me, I was away from the microphone.

00:31:35.800 um but dales is that your number one i'm activator activate so his on the strength finder test if you

00:31:42.360 guys have ever taken that or have heard of that yeah his first one is activator his second one

00:31:46.400 is achiever and he's an eight on the enneagram yeah he's just like a go-getter kind of guy

00:31:51.980 my whole life holiness for me is humility patience and slow yeah he thrives on like a challenge

00:32:00.360 yeah yeah so so I've always yeah I've always wanted to accomplish more and I found out that

00:32:06.640 like the most joy I do have is that when I am content and also walking in holiness and so that

00:32:16.200 idea that godliness with contentment is great gain and um and you know it's okay to succeed

00:32:24.700 it's okay to want to be successful like that's that's that's a good thing but it's unhealthy

00:32:29.740 when your success dictates your joy. If success is always behind the next thing, then it'll never

00:32:35.980 be where you are. I'm going to say that again. If success is always behind the next thing,

00:32:41.480 or if happiness is always behind the next thing, if whatever you're searching for is always behind

00:32:48.380 the next thing, then it'll never be where you are. And that is a problem. That is the advertisement

00:32:53.780 of the lack of contentment in your own heart and life.

00:32:57.560 But I also want to mention that I don't want you guys to confuse

00:33:02.440 a healthy desire for contentment with an unhealthy desire for comfort.

00:33:07.720 And so there's this kind of hyper-contentment movement

00:33:11.760 that's happening in the church where it's like we live in a tiny house

00:33:14.480 and we've simplicity and minimalism to the point where it's not just about

00:33:20.100 being simple and not just about minimizing.

00:33:22.920 It's also about minimizing your responsibility.

00:33:25.140 It's about minimizing your call.

00:33:26.260 It's about minimizing your impact in the world.

00:33:28.840 And if you ever look at people who are making big change throughout history, historical figures, they're generally not minimalists.

00:33:36.120 They actually have acquired much.

00:33:39.120 Now, they've stewarded it well, and they've done it with integrity, and they've done it with wisdom.

00:33:47.000 and from the patriarchs, from Abraham and David to, you know,

00:33:52.300 any of the honorable presidents of the United States of times past.

00:33:57.680 So contentment doesn't mean that we shouldn't desire more.

00:34:00.940 It means that we can be thankful for what we have and patient for what's next.

00:34:06.380 And work hard for what's next.

00:34:08.100 Yes, and work hard for what's next.

00:34:10.200 God's created us to work.

00:34:11.680 Yes, I know this.

00:34:13.000 Okay, guys, this is a great thing my wife brought up here.

00:34:17.000 I'm constantly trying to figure out a way to escape work.

00:34:19.520 I feel like it's just, you know, the curse in the Garden of Eden is that by the sweat of your brow, you're going to be working.

00:34:25.240 You know, it's going to be hard to toil the land.

00:34:27.360 And the last year I've been realizing, you know what, I'm going to stop escaping the desire to kind of escape work.

00:34:35.960 I'm just going to go, I'm going to work until I die, and I'm going to work hard, and I'm going to work smart.

00:34:39.540 and so at the core God food water shelter are enough can you be content with that at the end

00:34:52.840 of the day can you be content with that and everything else is a blessing from God that

00:34:59.460 we even have the ability to have more so amen yeah anyways that's our conversation about money

00:35:06.080 so every week we answer a few questions usually about one now just because our show's been running

00:35:13.500 a little bit long um but if you guys have a question that you want us to answer go ahead

00:35:17.860 and send that to support ultimate marriage.com yeah that's fine yeah and and guys i'm sorry

00:35:23.660 that veronica didn't talk as much today it's probably because i feel like i talked a decent

00:35:26.800 amount but maybe not i manage the money at our house yeah and so you know it's one of those

00:35:32.640 things that why did we let you manage the money when we first got married i was the one with no

00:35:36.200 debt i was the one with no debt and a couple grand in my savings account you're 80 grand in debt oh

00:35:43.520 you have two thousand dollars in savings let me let's bring that over here when we merge our bank

00:35:47.780 accounts oh yeah we're gonna make a payment over here on this debt with that money and now i'm

00:35:53.160 broke yeah i got married and i got and we went broke um so yeah so um yeah if you have a question

00:36:01.720 send it to support at ultimate marriage.com and this week's question we picked out because it was

00:36:10.280 it was applicable to our show and that was what would your advice be to couples with separate

00:36:16.960 bank accounts okay um all right first off if you have separate bank accounts please hear me

00:36:27.220 with a gentle heart I don't want to tell you my opinion on this I just want you we just want you

00:36:38.480 to just say do we believe the Bible is true or not are we actually willing and wanting to conform

00:36:44.100 to God's design for marriage or not which is unity which is unity and oneness and so first off

00:36:51.700 you're not roommates who sleep in the same bed that's not what you are you you are in a

00:36:57.940 one flesh relationship and just like there's not like it would be so weird if i said um

00:37:06.500 you know your child and my child about our kids like you don't say your money and my money like

00:37:13.860 like that's a weird thing to say in a marriage yeah the you the yours and mine type of mentality

00:37:21.200 doesn't support a biblical marriage yeah the goal of marriage is to become one flesh

00:37:26.060 and we should work hard to eliminate any type of division or separation yeah it's it's it's an

00:37:32.480 important process of of constantly becoming one we've done a podcast specifically on becoming one

00:37:38.500 on one flesh if you can go back and look at what it looks like to kind of be one and in my

00:37:43.920 experience the fear of divorce is actually kind of the undertow or or the

00:37:50.160 driver of this conversation of separating bank accounts it's kind of

00:37:53.580 like a plan B is in the background here and and so any spouse that is kind of

00:37:59.220 you know desires to have a separate bank account they're insecure in their

00:38:05.460 marriage there's a lack of security in their marriage yeah there's a lack of

00:38:09.000 of trust usually there and it's a huge red flag that you guys need to

00:38:13.620 extinguish if you guys want to work on your journey of becoming one flesh so

00:38:17.980 there's remember there's one reputation one bed one dream one vision one you

00:38:24.780 know one family one political stance one identity even as a couple like one

00:38:30.900 everything and it's becoming one in the same way that that Christ and the church

00:38:36.420 are to be one. And so it's a very unique oneness that the Bible calls for us to

00:38:43.380 get together. And it's unlike any other relationship. There's no other

00:38:48.960 relationship in which you become one with another person. Every Christian or 0.99

00:38:54.660 every other relationship has boundaries in order for them to be healthy. A

00:38:58.860 relationship between mother and father has boundaries, between mother and child

00:39:04.420 has boundaries. A relationship between brother and sister has boundaries. A relationship between

00:39:09.000 employer and employee has boundaries. A relationship between husband and wife is called to a one-flesh 0.51

00:39:17.060 relationship. There actually shouldn't be any boundaries between them. You know, it's a

00:39:22.440 boundaryless marriage. It's one flesh, completely unified. Any boundary between you and your spouse

00:39:29.460 is actually an unbiblical idea.

00:39:32.060 There are no boundaries between the church and Christ

00:39:34.740 in terms of their general closeness with one another.

00:39:40.640 Now, does the marriage have boundaries outside?

00:39:42.900 For sure.

00:39:43.900 But between them, there is no boundaries.

00:39:46.480 And so we're to be one flesh unified,

00:39:48.880 completely together there.

00:39:52.060 Sorry, I talked too much.

00:39:53.940 Wow, that was great.

00:39:54.820 I thought that was a great answer to that question.

00:39:57.680 So this week's memory verse, we share a memory verse every week.

00:40:00.520 This week's is Proverbs 22, 7.

00:40:03.600 The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.

00:40:08.700 So, yeah, memorize that.

00:40:10.280 It's important to have those scriptures memorized.

00:40:12.100 Another thing is because we haven't been able to answer many questions

00:40:16.200 because we don't want to have a long, super long show,

00:40:18.900 we're going to, our next episode, answer just five questions.

00:40:24.240 and i'll tell you guys you've been sending us questions that are like deep deep questions

00:40:30.660 deep questions yeah so they're they're going to be intense and it's going to be a great episode

00:40:35.540 answering some really rich it's probably gonna be a lot of dale talking because a lot of them

00:40:41.320 are really theologically heavy oh so he gets i'll make sure that that we pick two questions that

00:40:47.660 veronica uh can hit just for the ladies so um yeah so sometimes this happens but um okay a couple

00:40:55.520 things before we close out the today's episode um hit your memory verse um and leave us a review

00:41:01.000 again if this is edifying to you if if you believe this show has helped you get closer to god or

00:41:08.240 understand god's word more would you be willing just to leave us a review in itunes just literally

00:41:12.360 scroll up and hit the amount of stars that you'd like to give us that would be very uh helpful for

00:41:17.400 us on this journey and also if you guys want to listen to the show um you guys can watch the video

00:41:22.720 listen to the show you guys can look at all the show notes all the scriptures that we have

00:41:25.940 all the quotes um you just go to ultimate marriage.com forward slash episodes and or

00:41:33.260 just go to ultimate marriage.com and look at the podcast page and you'll see all of that stuff

00:41:36.780 available this is episode number nine um thanks for listening yeah thanks for listening to us guys

00:41:43.860 and we'll see you guys next wednesday take care

00:41:47.400 Thank you for joining us on this episode of Ultimate Marriage.

00:41:50.240 If you're homesick for a stronger marriage, visit our website at ultimatemarriage.com

00:41:54.300 and consider enrolling in our one-year online marriage mentor program.

00:41:58.020 Also, if you're interested in learning more about building a better marriage,

00:42:00.960 follow Veronica and I on social media,

00:42:02.740 where each week we share tips, tricks, and lessons on building a biblical marriage.

00:42:17.400 Thank you.

Dale Partridge - September 05, 2018

Ultimate Marriage #9： How The Bible Instructs Christians To Manage Their Money

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