Dan Martell - January 02, 2023


4 Mindset Hacks to Overcome Fear in Your Life


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

192.70732

Word count

1,663

Sentence count

85


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about the 4 mindset hacks that helped me overcome fear in my life and how they can help you do the same. 1. Faith over fear 2. The get to vs. have to language 3. The power of the primary question 4. The concept of the "get to" and "have to" language

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 Unlock your full potential with these four mindset hacks
00:00:03.900 to overcome fear in your life.
00:00:06.240 I wanna share with you guys this crazy six-day adventure
00:00:10.740 I went on called Date With Destiny.
00:00:12.740 If you haven't seen Tony Robbins,
00:00:14.340 I'm Not Your Guru on Netflix,
00:00:16.140 essentially it's a documentary of going through this event
00:00:20.400 that will help you understand the level of intensity
00:00:24.380 that went on for six days straight,
00:00:26.960 13, 16 hour days, go until two in the morning.
00:00:30.340 Not only was it transformational,
00:00:32.700 I run my own events and I'm a coach
00:00:34.640 and Tony is the goat, right?
00:00:36.360 Like when it comes to performance and output,
00:00:39.340 Tony Robbins is one of the top in the world.
00:00:41.260 And also just for myself,
00:00:42.940 so I was taking so many notes and writing down things
00:00:45.620 and just listening to words
00:00:46.960 because oftentimes it's what's caught, not taught.
00:00:49.500 And I took down four specific mindset hacks and beliefs,
00:00:53.700 these statements that were said,
00:00:55.180 it wasn't even part of the core curriculum,
00:00:56.960 that have probably had the biggest impact on my life.
00:01:00.340 And I want to share it with all of you guys right now.
00:01:04.420 The first one is faith over fear.
00:01:06.860 Here's how I'm going to unpack this for you.
00:01:08.520 I want you to consider what the definition of faith is, right?
00:01:12.920 If you think about it, it's probably something like
00:01:15.540 a future perception of a positive experience, right?
00:01:20.480 Like that is faith.
00:01:21.440 It's like I have faith in the future, something great happening.
00:01:24.760 Cool.
00:01:25.540 Now I'm going to ask you, what is fear?
00:01:28.060 Well, fear is a belief about a future
00:01:31.780 that has a negative experience in it.
00:01:33.820 That is fear, right?
00:01:34.820 Because like if I'm fearful, I don't want that to happen.
00:01:36.920 Who decides if you have faith or fear about the future?
00:01:41.380 You do.
00:01:42.760 And when I heard that,
00:01:44.740 I realized how valuable of a lesson
00:01:48.360 that at any moment I was feeling fear,
00:01:51.500 I could quickly ask myself,
00:01:53.120 what would be the faith alternative to this moment?
00:01:56.500 Instead of being fearful for this negative future,
00:01:58.920 what would need to be true
00:02:00.020 to have a positive belief of the future?
00:02:02.560 That's faith.
00:02:03.640 And choosing to show up with that energy,
00:02:06.840 with that mindset, with that vision
00:02:08.840 of a positive expectancy for the future.
00:02:12.520 And that was a game changer for me.
00:02:14.780 So now anytime I feel fearful,
00:02:17.020 I always ask myself, what's the opposite?
00:02:18.800 What's the faith?
00:02:19.600 And it's kind of crazy because it gets to people
00:02:21.620 because they're like, hey, why aren't you worried about this?
00:02:24.040 I'm not saying I'm not going to be diligent
00:02:25.920 and like auditing all the things that could go wrong
00:02:28.220 and protecting the downside.
00:02:29.820 I'm not saying it's a hands-off process.
00:02:31.440 I'm just saying the energy, the focus,
00:02:33.700 the language I use is always going to be faith-based,
00:02:36.700 not fear-based.
00:02:38.320 Number two is the get-to versus have-to language.
00:02:42.200 So Tony was sharing about relationships
00:02:44.000 and talking about different scenarios
00:02:45.520 about people and status.
00:02:47.020 And then he actually said something in passing.
00:02:49.260 It was like not a big deal for him.
00:02:50.720 He just said, oh, do you guys want to know what the difference between rich people and poor people
00:02:54.220 are? And everybody's like, yeah. He goes, rich people use the get to language. Poor people use
00:02:59.600 the have to language. And then he unpacked it. And what that meant was that when people that
00:03:06.420 have wealth and it's not about money, that's what's crazy. It has nothing to do with the
00:03:10.520 amount of money in your bank account. It has to do with the quality of life. A rich life is somebody
00:03:14.740 who uses the get-to language.
00:03:17.080 I get to go to the gym.
00:03:18.600 I get to do work.
00:03:20.180 I get to shoot these videos.
00:03:21.880 The get-to language is a decision.
00:03:23.960 It's a reframe.
00:03:24.940 And in that moment where you start feeling like,
00:03:27.800 ugh, I can't believe I have to do this,
00:03:29.660 if you stop yourself and rewrite that internal mental script
00:03:33.260 to get-to, it will change your whole perspective
00:03:36.200 towards that activity
00:03:37.320 and allow you to start living a rich life.
00:03:40.440 Number three is the power of a primary question.
00:03:43.280 Now, this is actually core to Date With Destiny.
00:03:46.560 If you go to the program at the end of it on day six,
00:03:49.780 you're literally going to sit down
00:03:51.320 and create this massive poster
00:03:52.980 with all the different outcomes and visions you have
00:03:55.320 for your life and goals and values and all these things.
00:03:57.640 And you're gonna design a new primary question,
00:04:00.860 a question that's gonna help you
00:04:02.940 to stop focusing on negative potential situations
00:04:06.180 and instead focus on the beauty of the world
00:04:09.800 that we all live in.
00:04:10.800 One of the questions that I got to
00:04:12.880 to hopefully inspire all of you
00:04:14.260 is this simple, simple question,
00:04:16.400 which is how can I appreciate even more
00:04:18.900 God's grace and guidance in this moment right now?
00:04:22.260 I literally ask myself that question
00:04:24.560 dozens of times a day
00:04:25.840 because I use it anytime I feel
00:04:28.440 like I start to have some worry about something
00:04:31.540 or I get frustrated with somebody
00:04:33.320 or I'm not enjoying something,
00:04:35.200 I stop myself.
00:04:36.320 I almost use it as a trigger.
00:04:37.640 Boom, it's a trigger mindset.
00:04:39.480 Okay, ask myself the question,
00:04:40.700 how can I appreciate even more God's grace
00:04:42.740 and guidance in this moment right now.
00:04:45.300 And literally my sight will open up.
00:04:48.600 The appreciation for the colors all around me,
00:04:51.500 the conversations I'm about to have,
00:04:53.700 all of a sudden just, they get exciting.
00:04:55.960 And it's just so interesting how what you focus on expands.
00:04:59.860 And if you're focusing on fear or doubt
00:05:02.980 or frustration or whatever, that will expand.
00:05:05.500 And if you ask yourself this question,
00:05:07.140 it's almost like a heat seeker missile
00:05:08.620 to find the good in everything that's happening
00:05:11.580 right now in your life, it is a super powerful strategy.
00:05:15.720 So I wanna ask you, what question would you ask yourself
00:05:19.080 to reset your focus towards possibility and positivity?
00:05:23.760 It could be your own flavor.
00:05:25.620 I just wanted to give you an example of mine,
00:05:27.220 but use the same pattern to design it for yourself.
00:05:30.280 And that in itself will be a very powerful mindset hack
00:05:34.120 to keep you focused on the right things.
00:05:37.260 Number four is the purple eyes reaction.
00:05:39.940 This one's my favorite.
00:05:40.860 He was talking to somebody that was like super triggered by their in-laws because they said
00:05:45.440 something that hurt their feelings. And they were telling Tony this. And, you know, Tony does these
00:05:50.160 interventions that are super intense. I mean, reality TV has got nothing on Tony Robbins
00:05:56.200 intervention. And as he was listening to this person, he explained to them is that you have to
00:06:01.900 have a response that is no different than if somebody runs up to you and screams in your face,
00:06:08.260 you've got purple eyes, you've got purple eyes, you've got purple eyes. Because he asked him,
00:06:12.660 he goes, if somebody did that to you, what would you think to yourself? And the person sat there
00:06:17.460 and goes, but I don't have purple eyes. And he said, exactly in his deep voice and big hands
00:06:23.880 and fingers and a big smile. And the reason why is because at the end of the day, you know you
00:06:30.380 who you are, you know, the value you bring in the world, you know, your heart, you know, your soul,
00:06:35.800 you know your spirit. And just because somebody else says something to you, you shouldn't react.
00:06:41.980 You shouldn't allow them to throw you off of your day. I mean, my kids were fighting the other day
00:06:47.160 because one of them took a snack and the other one screamed at them. They weren't supposed to
00:06:51.600 take a snack and it hurt his feelings because he said it in front of his friend. He felt a little
00:06:55.180 humiliated. And after I calmed them down and I was putting them to bed, I explained to them this
00:07:00.420 exact same strategy, the purple eyes. And it was funny because when I was saying this, you have
00:07:05.040 purple eyes? You have purple eyes? They kind of laughed and they said, but I don't have purple
00:07:07.980 eyes. And I go, exactly. And I said, Noah, that's the way you have to think about it when somebody
00:07:13.260 saying something to you that upsets you because you know, it's not true. Just think to yourself,
00:07:18.980 purple eyes. In those moments, if you can think to yourself, purple eyes and have mind like water
00:07:26.200 and be non-responsive, it doesn't mean you allow somebody to be abusive, but it gives you a tool
00:07:31.260 and a technique to overcome,
00:07:33.080 allowing yourself to completely go into this place
00:07:35.960 where you feel like upset and you feel rejected
00:07:39.220 and you're like not happy and you're just like,
00:07:41.660 why did that person say that to me?
00:07:43.500 Look, everybody's on their own journey
00:07:45.540 and they're having their own hallucination about this world
00:07:47.880 and they're in their own this movie
00:07:49.140 and they're the center character of their own movie.
00:07:51.460 Trust me, the way they feel about you
00:07:53.720 and what they say to you does not reflect
00:07:55.760 who you know you are inside.
00:07:57.560 So just listen and hear purple eyes
00:08:00.160 and it'll help you reframe everything.
00:08:02.220 That is how you live your full potential.
00:08:04.340 Use these four mindset hacks,
00:08:06.200 the have to versus get to,
00:08:08.500 the fear versus faith,
00:08:10.140 the purple eyes,
00:08:11.120 and your primary question,
00:08:13.240 such a powerful question to reframe,
00:08:15.560 to retrain your brain,
00:08:17.060 to focus on the positivity of the future.
00:08:20.380 If you like these strategies,
00:08:21.500 be sure to check out my top business books in life.
00:08:25.000 I literally read over 1,500 books.
00:08:27.020 I wanted to distill them down into the 25
00:08:29.640 that I think will have the biggest impact on you.
00:08:32.640 I even have highlighted quotes, et cetera.
00:08:34.680 So if you want that, just click the link,
00:08:36.260 download it, and I'll see you in the next video.