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Dan Martell
- January 02, 2023
4 Mindset Hacks to Overcome Fear in Your Life
Episode Stats
Length
8 minutes
Words per Minute
192.70732
Word Count
1,663
Sentence Count
85
Summary
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Transcript
Transcript generated with
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).
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Unlock your full potential with these four mindset hacks
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to overcome fear in your life.
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I wanna share with you guys this crazy six-day adventure
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I went on called Date With Destiny.
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If you haven't seen Tony Robbins,
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I'm Not Your Guru on Netflix,
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essentially it's a documentary of going through this event
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that will help you understand the level of intensity
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that went on for six days straight,
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13, 16 hour days, go until two in the morning.
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Not only was it transformational,
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I run my own events and I'm a coach
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and Tony is the goat, right?
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Like when it comes to performance and output,
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Tony Robbins is one of the top in the world.
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And also just for myself,
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so I was taking so many notes and writing down things
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and just listening to words
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because oftentimes it's what's caught, not taught.
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And I took down four specific mindset hacks and beliefs,
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these statements that were said,
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it wasn't even part of the core curriculum,
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that have probably had the biggest impact on my life.
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And I want to share it with all of you guys right now.
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The first one is faith over fear.
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Here's how I'm going to unpack this for you.
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I want you to consider what the definition of faith is, right?
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If you think about it, it's probably something like
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a future perception of a positive experience, right?
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Like that is faith.
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It's like I have faith in the future, something great happening.
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Cool.
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Now I'm going to ask you, what is fear?
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Well, fear is a belief about a future
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that has a negative experience in it.
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That is fear, right?
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Because like if I'm fearful, I don't want that to happen.
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Who decides if you have faith or fear about the future?
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You do.
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And when I heard that,
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I realized how valuable of a lesson
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that at any moment I was feeling fear,
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I could quickly ask myself,
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what would be the faith alternative to this moment?
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Instead of being fearful for this negative future,
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what would need to be true
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to have a positive belief of the future?
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That's faith.
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And choosing to show up with that energy,
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with that mindset, with that vision
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of a positive expectancy for the future.
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And that was a game changer for me.
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So now anytime I feel fearful,
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I always ask myself, what's the opposite?
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What's the faith?
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And it's kind of crazy because it gets to people
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because they're like, hey, why aren't you worried about this?
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I'm not saying I'm not going to be diligent
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and like auditing all the things that could go wrong
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and protecting the downside.
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I'm not saying it's a hands-off process.
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I'm just saying the energy, the focus,
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the language I use is always going to be faith-based,
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not fear-based.
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Number two is the get-to versus have-to language.
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So Tony was sharing about relationships
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and talking about different scenarios
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about people and status.
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And then he actually said something in passing.
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It was like not a big deal for him.
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He just said, oh, do you guys want to know what the difference between rich people and poor people
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are? And everybody's like, yeah. He goes, rich people use the get to language. Poor people use
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the have to language. And then he unpacked it. And what that meant was that when people that
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have wealth and it's not about money, that's what's crazy. It has nothing to do with the
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amount of money in your bank account. It has to do with the quality of life. A rich life is somebody
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who uses the get-to language.
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I get to go to the gym.
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I get to do work.
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I get to shoot these videos.
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The get-to language is a decision.
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It's a reframe.
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And in that moment where you start feeling like,
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ugh, I can't believe I have to do this,
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if you stop yourself and rewrite that internal mental script
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to get-to, it will change your whole perspective
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towards that activity
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and allow you to start living a rich life.
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Number three is the power of a primary question.
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Now, this is actually core to Date With Destiny.
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If you go to the program at the end of it on day six,
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you're literally going to sit down
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and create this massive poster
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with all the different outcomes and visions you have
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for your life and goals and values and all these things.
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And you're gonna design a new primary question,
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a question that's gonna help you
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to stop focusing on negative potential situations
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and instead focus on the beauty of the world
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that we all live in.
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One of the questions that I got to
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to hopefully inspire all of you
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is this simple, simple question,
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which is how can I appreciate even more
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God's grace and guidance in this moment right now?
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I literally ask myself that question
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dozens of times a day
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because I use it anytime I feel
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like I start to have some worry about something
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or I get frustrated with somebody
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or I'm not enjoying something,
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I stop myself.
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I almost use it as a trigger.
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Boom, it's a trigger mindset.
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Okay, ask myself the question,
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how can I appreciate even more God's grace
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and guidance in this moment right now.
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And literally my sight will open up.
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The appreciation for the colors all around me,
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the conversations I'm about to have,
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all of a sudden just, they get exciting.
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And it's just so interesting how what you focus on expands.
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And if you're focusing on fear or doubt
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or frustration or whatever, that will expand.
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And if you ask yourself this question,
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it's almost like a heat seeker missile
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to find the good in everything that's happening
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right now in your life, it is a super powerful strategy.
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So I wanna ask you, what question would you ask yourself
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to reset your focus towards possibility and positivity?
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It could be your own flavor.
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I just wanted to give you an example of mine,
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but use the same pattern to design it for yourself.
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And that in itself will be a very powerful mindset hack
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to keep you focused on the right things.
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Number four is the purple eyes reaction.
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This one's my favorite.
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He was talking to somebody that was like super triggered by their in-laws because they said
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something that hurt their feelings. And they were telling Tony this. And, you know, Tony does these
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interventions that are super intense. I mean, reality TV has got nothing on Tony Robbins
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intervention. And as he was listening to this person, he explained to them is that you have to
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have a response that is no different than if somebody runs up to you and screams in your face,
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you've got purple eyes, you've got purple eyes, you've got purple eyes. Because he asked him,
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he goes, if somebody did that to you, what would you think to yourself? And the person sat there
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and goes, but I don't have purple eyes. And he said, exactly in his deep voice and big hands
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and fingers and a big smile. And the reason why is because at the end of the day, you know you
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who you are, you know, the value you bring in the world, you know, your heart, you know, your soul,
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you know your spirit. And just because somebody else says something to you, you shouldn't react.
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You shouldn't allow them to throw you off of your day. I mean, my kids were fighting the other day
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because one of them took a snack and the other one screamed at them. They weren't supposed to
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take a snack and it hurt his feelings because he said it in front of his friend. He felt a little
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humiliated. And after I calmed them down and I was putting them to bed, I explained to them this
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exact same strategy, the purple eyes. And it was funny because when I was saying this, you have
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purple eyes? You have purple eyes? They kind of laughed and they said, but I don't have purple
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eyes. And I go, exactly. And I said, Noah, that's the way you have to think about it when somebody
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saying something to you that upsets you because you know, it's not true. Just think to yourself,
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purple eyes. In those moments, if you can think to yourself, purple eyes and have mind like water
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and be non-responsive, it doesn't mean you allow somebody to be abusive, but it gives you a tool
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and a technique to overcome,
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allowing yourself to completely go into this place
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where you feel like upset and you feel rejected
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and you're like not happy and you're just like,
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why did that person say that to me?
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Look, everybody's on their own journey
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and they're having their own hallucination about this world
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and they're in their own this movie
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and they're the center character of their own movie.
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Trust me, the way they feel about you
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and what they say to you does not reflect
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who you know you are inside.
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So just listen and hear purple eyes
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and it'll help you reframe everything.
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That is how you live your full potential.
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Use these four mindset hacks,
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the have to versus get to,
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the fear versus faith,
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the purple eyes,
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and your primary question,
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such a powerful question to reframe,
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to retrain your brain,
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to focus on the positivity of the future.
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If you like these strategies,
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be sure to check out my top business books in life.
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I literally read over 1,500 books.
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I wanted to distill them down into the 25
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that I think will have the biggest impact on you.
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I even have highlighted quotes, et cetera.
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So if you want that, just click the link,
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download it, and I'll see you in the next video.
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