Dan Martell - 40 Brutal Truths I Wish I Knew in My 20s

00:00:00.000 At the time of this recording, I'm 44 years old and if I could go back and talk to my 20-year-old

00:00:04.980 self and give some advice on how to get rich a lot faster, here's what I would say.

00:00:09.080 Number one, don't make the mistake of becoming good at something you hate.

00:00:12.220 When I started off, I thought I had to get great at everything and it turns out that

00:00:16.200 if you don't like something, if you hate doing numbers or doing sales calls or even

00:00:20.780 doing customer support, when you get good at something you like doing, you can pay somebody

00:00:24.640 else to take the things that you hate doing.

00:00:26.660 number two go to bed and wake up at the exact same time every day if you take anything away

00:00:32.020 from this video having the time that you wake up every day to create to be productive and go to

00:00:37.600 bed on time most problems would actually be solved if you went to bed on time the longer you do this

00:00:42.620 for it will compound into greatness number three your body is the only one you have take care of

00:00:48.500 it when people are healthy they have a thousand goals and dreams they want to go after when they're

00:00:53.080 sick, they have one. Get healthy. Most people treat their body like a beat up car, not like

00:00:59.440 the million dollar thoroughbred horse. It actually is. If you've got the energy, you've got the focus

00:01:04.700 and you can push forward, you're going to run laps around everybody. Number four, stay close to

00:01:09.000 people that want more for you, not from you. When I was growing up, all I had was people around me

00:01:14.020 that were energy vampires. They kept sucking my energy and asking for things and never ever giving

00:01:20.020 anything in return. When I decided to do a friendventory and clean up those people and

00:01:24.700 start adding folks that wanted more for me, that pushed me, that expected me to do bigger things

00:01:29.500 with my life, and they were my biggest cheerleaders, everything changed. Number five, normalize leaving

00:01:35.020 people in whatever reality they have chosen. I used to argue with people. I used to get frustrated

00:01:40.300 when people would try to sell me on their philosophy of living a life that's not too stressed

00:01:45.200 out and why do you need to have more? Can't you be happy with what you have? I realized that energy

00:01:49.580 is better spent being better. That energy is better invested surrounding myself with people

00:01:54.240 that were also in that shared journey. The cool part is I don't get upset anymore. I just don't

00:01:59.080 acknowledge it. I just allow them to stay in that reality that they've chosen. And every once in a

00:02:03.840 while, you'll inspire them to come ask you how you've been doing it. Number six, being humble

00:02:08.260 isn't about thinking less of yourself. It's about thinking of yourself less. People sometimes

00:02:13.660 misunderstand my confidence in what I'm doing or the way I communicate as it's not humble. I am.

00:02:19.180 The truth is, is I'm all about service.

00:02:21.600 You thinking small or being timid in your actions

00:02:24.660 is actually not gonna inspire or help anybody else.

00:02:27.220 So put other people first, but don't think less of yourself.

00:02:30.340 Number seven, you get tested the most

00:02:32.460 when it's your time to level up.

00:02:34.360 This one I've seen over and over and over again.

00:02:37.960 When I was recording the audio for my book, I got the flute.

00:02:41.560 When I was about to hit a new PR at the gym,

00:02:44.120 I injured myself.

00:02:45.140 When I was about to have a record month, somebody quit.

00:02:47.440 And it's interesting how right when you're about

00:02:49.640 to break through, something in your life happens.

00:02:52.140 And I always remind myself, in those moments,

00:02:54.500 I get to prove to myself that I'm as good

00:02:56.540 as I think I am when things are going great.

00:02:58.640 Anytime I'm being tested, I just remind myself,

00:03:01.340 God is asking me, do you really, really want this?

00:03:04.460 Number eight, improving yourself daily

00:03:06.560 is the only addiction you need.

00:03:08.560 I'm addicted to the expansion of my being.

00:03:11.520 I love waking up every day a little bit better,

00:03:14.200 a little bit more refined, a little bit more focused,

00:03:16.320 a little stronger, a little more confidence,

00:03:18.460 a little bit more full of joy,

00:03:19.640 a little bit more full of grace.

00:03:20.740 If you wake up with the attitude

00:03:22.060 of just 1% better every day,

00:03:24.500 and if you have a step back, that's okay.

00:03:26.100 Give yourself a break,

00:03:26.960 but just keep focusing on being better.

00:03:28.880 Make that obsession the thing you go find every day,

00:03:31.200 that will change your whole life.

00:03:32.860 Number nine is you teach people how to treat you.

00:03:35.900 I see this all the time,

00:03:37.040 where someone is responding to a text message

00:03:39.820 and then they're upset that the person didn't email them,

00:03:42.000 or a customer cancels a meeting and you say nothing,

00:03:44.660 And then they continuously cancel meetings on you

00:03:47.580 and you're just like, why do they always do that?

00:03:49.420 You teach people how to treat you.

00:03:51.620 If you don't set your standard,

00:03:52.940 you don't communicate your preference,

00:03:54.260 if you don't hold that standard,

00:03:55.980 then people around you are gonna continue to do things

00:03:58.360 that frustrate you because you haven't said anything.

00:04:01.060 Whereas the first time they do it and you tell them

00:04:03.200 that becomes the new norm, they will treat you differently.

00:04:06.400 Just like somebody that's always late.

00:04:07.760 If you allow them to be late, you never leave without them,

00:04:10.780 then they'll never learn the lesson

00:04:12.100 and you've taught them that that's okay.

00:04:14.580 Number 10, it's better to admit you walk through the wrong door

00:04:17.660 than to spend a lot of time in the wrong room.

00:04:20.160 See, oftentimes we're born into a city that we didn't choose,

00:04:23.000 a school that we didn't choose,

00:04:24.500 a friend group, honestly, we didn't really choose.

00:04:26.640 They just sat next to us in high school.

00:04:28.180 And instead of acknowledging that maybe that scenario,

00:04:30.940 that place isn't the best for us and moving on,

00:04:33.700 we stay in it way too long.

00:04:36.200 And I will tell you, the faster you can acknowledge and move,

00:04:39.240 the better your life's gonna be.

00:04:40.760 Number 11, you waiting for a sign is a sign.

00:04:43.900 Back when I was a teenager, I made a series of bad decisions that landed me in jail.

00:04:48.960 And in that moment, I turned to God and I said, show me a sign.

00:04:54.320 The fact that I was asking was the sign.

00:04:57.040 The fact that I needed him was proof.

00:04:59.620 The fact that I was at rock bottom sometimes is God showing you that he is the rock at the bottom.

00:05:06.160 So you don't need another sign.

00:05:07.440 If you want one, this is it.

00:05:09.320 Number 12, nothing you've gone through has made you weaker.

00:05:12.200 Anytime somebody's struggling or having an issue in their business or their personal life, I always remind them that you've gone through worse, you've made it through it, and the reason why you are who you are today is because of those conflicts, those challenges, those setbacks.

00:05:25.740 We don't get better without having to go through things. This is just another opportunity for you to grow.

00:05:30.540 Number 13, everything wants you when you want nothing.

00:05:34.020 The person that has the most power, the most confidence, the most status in a room is the person that needs nothing from anybody else.

00:05:41.800 When you come off as somebody that's needy, it feels that way.

00:05:45.580 That energy is kind of like icky.

00:05:47.340 When you can get to a place where you don't need anything and you focus on you and what

00:05:52.040 you can control, that's actually when abundance is going to show up into your life.

00:05:56.080 Number 14, you have to be willing to be misunderstood for long periods of time to be successful.

00:06:01.580 If you have a vision for your life that is bigger than anything anybody around you today

00:06:05.620 is trying to do, then they won't understand why you do what you do.

00:06:09.880 And that's normal.

00:06:10.720 It means they're gonna misunderstand you.

00:06:12.440 They're not gonna understand

00:06:13.380 why you're doing certain things,

00:06:14.840 why you're sacrificing,

00:06:15.920 why you're showing up a certain way.

00:06:17.280 And that's okay

00:06:18.000 because all those people that misunderstood you

00:06:20.100 will brag about being your friend once you win.

00:06:22.300 Number 15, when things get easy, go hard.

00:06:25.600 Every time I get to another level

00:06:27.820 and things start getting easy,

00:06:29.620 I remind myself how I used to act when I was starting off.

00:06:32.980 Most people start to climb that mountain,

00:06:34.880 have some success and then chill out.

00:06:37.360 My whole thing is why am I not acting

00:06:39.340 the same way I was when I had nothing

00:06:41.160 because I had a vision for my life that was way bigger.

00:06:43.920 And if anything, you should go hard

00:06:45.560 when things start getting easy to remind yourself

00:06:47.880 that you're still fighting for the bigger dreams.

00:06:49.780 Number 16, only ask for advice from people

00:06:52.380 who have been where you wanna go.

00:06:53.920 If the person giving you advice

00:06:55.760 has never achieved the thing you wanna do,

00:06:57.820 then their strategy is gonna be flawed.

00:06:59.720 It doesn't matter how many books they've read.

00:07:01.260 It doesn't matter how many things

00:07:02.280 they think other people have done.

00:07:03.580 It doesn't matter how many stories that they share

00:07:05.160 about things they heard from somebody else.

00:07:07.080 If they themselves have not done it,

00:07:09.080 then their feedback is going to be tainted,

00:07:11.760 it's gonna be flawed,

00:07:12.660 and honestly, they're gonna give you

00:07:13.680 the wrong blueprint to achieve.

00:07:15.680 So always find the people

00:07:16.940 that have been to the place you wanna be

00:07:18.480 and ask them for their advice.

00:07:20.880 Number 17, the word no is a complete sentence.

00:07:24.300 You're allowed to just say no.

00:07:26.440 I know that you're worried about hurting people's feelings,

00:07:28.820 but what about your feelings?

00:07:30.340 Have you ever said yes to somebody

00:07:31.620 and you went to a thing and then you're there

00:07:33.100 and you're like, why am I here?

00:07:34.420 Or you get on a call with somebody

00:07:35.720 that you don't know that somebody introduced you

00:07:37.540 three months ago and you're like,

00:07:38.680 why am I on this call? You're allowed to just say no. And a no today is a yes to your future.

00:07:44.620 Number 18, don't dim your light to make other people feel comfortable. If you shine in your

00:07:49.360 light and being who you are and be authentically yourself blinds other people because that is too

00:07:54.840 much for them, then I'd rather you be too much and they can go find less. Number 19, have a primary 0.93

00:08:00.120 aim for your life. People ask me all the time, why are you so motivated? My response is, why are you

00:08:05.320 not more motivated. I know why I'm here. I know what my life is going to stand for. I know what

00:08:10.460 my purpose is. When we have that primary aim, it becomes the fuel to pull us forward to achieve

00:08:16.340 some incredible things in our lives. Number 20, stop reading books, start studying them. See,

00:08:21.800 there's a difference. If I'm reading a book, just to say I read it, I'm not going to retain it. If

00:08:26.460 I'm reading a book because I'm studying it to not only apply to my life, to then teach other people

00:08:31.020 that consumption, that level of comprehension

00:08:33.780 is going to change and shift my beliefs, my actions,

00:08:37.400 and the way I show up for other people.

00:08:39.440 That's what it means to study a book.

00:08:41.380 Number 21, always assume positive intent.

00:08:44.420 You're driving, somebody cuts you off.

00:08:46.320 You can use that moment to get road rage and get pissed off

00:08:49.200 and start flipping them the bird and screaming at them

00:08:51.400 and then take the whole morning processing

00:08:53.560 how that person did you wrong.

00:08:55.400 Or you can assume positive intent

00:08:58.140 that maybe they're in a rush

00:08:59.380 because somebody they love is in the hospital.

00:09:01.440 Either one is as likely to be true.

00:09:03.580 The second one enables you to not emotionally over-respond,

00:09:07.020 keeping you focused on your dreams.

00:09:09.280 Number 22, put your own mask on first before helping others.

00:09:13.020 When the plane's going down,

00:09:14.100 they tell you, put the mask on

00:09:15.400 so that you have the capacity to help people around you.

00:09:18.120 Most of you guys get distracted

00:09:19.320 by other people's dramas, other issues,

00:09:21.700 and it takes you off of your pursuit to becoming better.

00:09:24.700 The truth is, is you can't help those other people

00:09:26.700 until you get the resources.

00:09:28.000 So if you keep getting distracted and you don't get those resources, by the time they really need your help, you're not going to be ready for it.

00:09:34.140 Number 23, look for problems.

00:09:36.320 Don't avoid them.

00:09:37.480 I can tell you that the quality of your life, the size of your life is correlated to the size of problems you have in your life.

00:09:44.300 So instead of being worried about having big problems, actually go find bigger problems to solve.

00:09:50.000 Number 24, your new life will cost you your old one.

00:09:52.780 If you want to move forward,

00:09:54.540 it's gonna require you to change the way you've been,

00:09:57.400 which will mean that how you've been living

00:09:59.320 will not work for the future.

00:10:00.880 Because if it did,

00:10:01.620 you'd already have the things you want.

00:10:03.260 So if you're not willing to reassess, let go,

00:10:05.820 cut things out of your life, 0.95

00:10:07.160 then you'll always be held back from your past

00:10:09.280 from creating a brighter future.

00:10:11.040 Number 25, confidence comes from keeping the commitments

00:10:13.840 you make to yourself in private.

00:10:16.440 Most of you want more confidence,

00:10:18.000 but the truth is, is you erode that confidence

00:10:20.360 every time you make a commitment

00:10:21.640 that nobody else knows about and you don't follow through you don't get up at 5 a.m when you said

00:10:26.240 you would you don't go to the gym when you said you would you don't eat clean when you said you

00:10:29.480 would and every time you do that you chip away at your confidence to the point where you start

00:10:34.540 having self-doubt anxiety imposter syndrome number 26 dedicate a decade not a day some people go to

00:10:42.040 the gym once and they can't shut up about it they're like oh my god i got an arm pump that was

00:10:45.760 so great i'm not impressed with anybody that does something for a day a week a month even for a year

00:10:51.300 When you're willing to dedicate a decade of your time,

00:10:54.560 energy, focus, and resources to achieving something,

00:10:57.620 trust me, the world will collude in your favor to be great.

00:11:01.660 Number 27, treat others the way you wanna be treated.

00:11:04.880 If you want more love in your life, then give more love.

00:11:07.220 If you want higher quality relationships,

00:11:09.040 then be a better friend.

00:11:10.260 The more you show up with respect,

00:11:12.560 with motivation, with positivity, with non-judgment,

00:11:15.720 the rest of the world will treat you the exact same way.

00:11:18.020 Number 28, tell people about them.

00:11:19.980 The most powerful thing you have is the acknowledgement of somebody doing something

00:11:23.940 great in your life. You never know when that word, that sentence, that moment might be the thing

00:11:29.080 that actually could have saved somebody's life. And I know that sounds dramatic, but I've seen

00:11:32.720 it happen so many times. You have no idea what people are going through around you. And that

00:11:36.760 one compliment at the right time for the right person might be the thing they needed to stop a

00:11:41.640 downward spiral. Number 29, if you keep running into bad people, you may be the problem. I was

00:11:47.600 training with my buddy the other day and he's a bit of a complainer i was like hey man do you

00:11:51.440 realize that you complain a lot he's like oh i've never really noticed that i was like yeah and i

00:11:55.600 bet your friends complain a lot because misery loves company so if a lot of drama is in your

00:12:01.020 life you might be the person creating the drama it's nobody else's fault like go look in a mirror

00:12:06.020 number 30 avoid drama and gossip at all costs if you want to be a high level person don't spend

00:12:11.460 time in drama and gossip they're allergic to it as soon as they hear it they run away from it why

00:12:16.860 Because they're spending all their time

00:12:18.700 in a place of opportunity and creation in the future.

00:12:22.640 And in that space,

00:12:23.540 there's no place for that drama and that gossiping. 0.87

00:12:26.880 Number 31, fear gives bad advice.

00:12:29.420 In those dark periods,

00:12:31.120 those moments where you wanna give up,

00:12:32.840 where you just feel like you've had enough,

00:12:34.640 just know that that is when you are giving yourself

00:12:38.120 the worst advice.

00:12:39.620 Don't take it from you.

00:12:40.920 Find somebody else, give them the scenario

00:12:42.860 and ask maybe two or three people.

00:12:44.760 that's the best way to overcome those moments

00:12:46.880 where you're full of fear.

00:12:48.060 Number 32, it's never too late to change.

00:12:50.700 I don't care if you're 87 or 27, I'm telling you,

00:12:54.080 today, in this moment,

00:12:55.640 you have an opportunity to decide to change your life.

00:12:58.660 And everybody had to take that first step.

00:13:00.920 I had to take that first step.

00:13:02.380 I had to start at zero.

00:13:03.700 Everybody goes through it.

00:13:04.920 And today could be the day for you.

00:13:06.440 Number 33, get rid of all your vices. 0.98

00:13:09.300 And I'm talking about all of them.

00:13:10.680 Talking about the gambling, the porn, the social media,

00:13:13.520 the news, the sugar, the friends, the drama.

00:13:16.880 Some of you guys are addicted to things

00:13:18.220 that you don't realize are holding you back.

00:13:19.860 If you want more, you have to let things go from the past

00:13:23.040 so that you have space for the more.

00:13:25.060 Number 34, if you're addicted to your phone,

00:13:27.620 your life just isn't interesting enough.

00:13:29.700 If the best thing you got is being distracted

00:13:32.240 by doom scrolling on social media, go pick up some hobbies.

00:13:36.040 Go get around people that are living life

00:13:37.740 a little bit more exciting.

00:13:38.940 I'm telling you, if you start doing things

00:13:40.980 in the real world that freak you out,

00:13:42.700 that scare you a little bit, that push you over your edge,

00:13:45.400 that's way more interesting

00:13:46.980 than you just sitting there

00:13:48.160 getting these dopamine hits on social media.

00:13:50.280 Number 35, take on as much responsibility as you can.

00:13:54.000 You've got capacity.

00:13:55.260 Offer to help people,

00:13:56.660 especially people that are in a position to serve you

00:13:58.620 and your dreams going forward.

00:13:59.920 Always say yes, always say yes.

00:14:01.800 The person that's always available

00:14:03.480 will figure out through that overwhelm

00:14:05.420 how to get more done,

00:14:06.560 and eventually you'll be the person that they default to

00:14:09.040 to get involved in really cool projects.

00:14:10.780 Number 36, don't blame anybody else but yourself.

00:14:14.200 I'm talking anybody.

00:14:15.560 I'm talking all circumstances.

00:14:17.400 The end of the day,

00:14:18.040 as soon as you blame somebody else for where you're at,

00:14:19.940 you lose control.

00:14:21.260 As soon as you acknowledge that nobody's coming to save you

00:14:23.820 and that you are in control of your life,

00:14:25.980 your decisions, your circumstances,

00:14:27.320 and no matter what anybody else is doing,

00:14:29.420 you will then unlock the ability to move forward.

00:14:32.100 If it's other people that need to like me

00:14:34.040 or do things to be successful, I'll never win.

00:14:36.680 Number 37, be blissfully dissatisfied

00:14:39.280 with where you're at in life.

00:14:41.280 And I got this from my coach, Ed Myland.

00:14:43.100 You wanna understand that what you've got today,

00:14:45.580 you should be crazy grateful for,

00:14:47.320 as little or as big as it is,

00:14:48.900 but at the same time, know and believe

00:14:50.880 that you were here and created for something more.

00:14:53.560 And that's the dissatisfied part.

00:14:55.280 It sounds like a dichotomy, but I'm telling you,

00:14:57.160 you can have gratitude and at the same time,

00:14:59.140 realize you were created for more.

00:15:00.700 Number 38, make time for what matters to you.

00:15:03.140 If you tell me your family's important,

00:15:04.940 your girlfriend's important, your best friend's important,

00:15:07.220 show me in your calendar

00:15:08.120 where you've dedicated time to it.

00:15:09.980 See, a lot of people say things are important,

00:15:11.680 but they don't make them a priority.

00:15:13.120 Any new requests from strangers end up in their calendar

00:15:16.200 way before the thing that they said is important.

00:15:18.440 If it matters to you, you make time for it.

00:15:20.540 Number 39, respect comes from admiration, not fear.

00:15:24.400 I look up to people that are givers,

00:15:26.660 that have done big things.

00:15:27.940 I'm not looking up to people or respecting folks

00:15:29.980 just because I'm scared of what they might do to me

00:15:31.780 or they won't accept me.

00:15:33.120 For example, you might have a boss

00:15:34.500 and you're worried they're gonna fire you all the time.

00:15:36.380 That person isn't a good person.

00:15:37.680 I want to follow a leader that's going to hold me to a higher standard that's also going to show up

00:15:41.220 and coach me to become better. That's somebody I admire. When you can change your frame to find

00:15:45.880 the people that you admire because of how they show up in the world as a giver, you'll change

00:15:50.600 because you're not going to dim your light to help somebody that wasn't going to help you unless it

00:15:54.360 helped them. Number 40, life is a mirror, not a window. See, a lot of you guys are spending time

00:15:59.180 looking out the windows, comparing yourself to other people. And the truth is, is your life is

00:16:02.880 a reflection of who you are. The world isn't as it is. The world is as you are and it is a mirror.

00:16:08.260 So if you want the rest of the thing to get better, you got to get better. And it's based

00:16:11.920 on what you see when you look in that mirror. Are you capable? Are you creating? Are you pushing

00:16:16.120 forward? That's the most powerful lesson out of all of them. If you want to learn the eight money

00:16:20.000 rules that I wish I knew in my twenties, click the link and I'll see you on the other side.

Dan Martell - September 24, 2024

40 Brutal Truths I Wish I Knew in My 20s

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