Dan Martell - 5 Questions You Should Never Ask Your Mentor

00:00:00.240 Don't ask somebody to be your mentor.

00:00:03.440 Don't do it.

00:00:04.280 If you've typed the words,

00:00:05.920 how can you be my mentor?

00:00:07.880 You've already messed up.

00:00:17.600 Five questions you should never, ever, ever, ever

00:00:21.240 ask your mentor.

00:00:22.240 That's what I wanna share in this video

00:00:23.160 because having a mentor could be one of the most

00:00:25.000 incredible opportunities for you to really grow your business

00:00:27.560 as fast as possible.

00:00:28.680 being able to have somebody in your life

00:00:31.240 show you the future,

00:00:32.800 and not only walk you through what they did,

00:00:34.660 but what they would have done if they were doing it over,

00:00:37.200 that has achieved your success that you're after,

00:00:40.180 is probably the most powerful thing.

00:00:42.140 Most people have a challenge reaching out to mentors

00:00:44.300 because they don't know what to ask.

00:00:45.460 They don't know what to say.

00:00:46.640 They don't wanna waste their time.

00:00:48.400 That's probably the biggest fear,

00:00:50.000 is what's in it for the mentor?

00:00:52.160 Why would they have this conversation?

00:00:53.980 And those are all legitimate fears,

00:00:55.580 but I learned this lesson

00:00:57.460 when I first reached out to my three mentors.

00:00:59.540 I mean, I was scared.

00:01:01.000 One of my mentors looked like a grumpy old man. 0.64

00:01:03.520 Turns out he's one of the sweetest purse people 0.99

00:01:05.800 in the world.

00:01:07.160 I still tell that story because it makes me giggle.

00:01:09.640 And the other ones were just ridiculously accomplished,

00:01:12.080 had built multi, you know, $10, $100 million companies,

00:01:16.040 and I had that imposter syndrome.

00:01:17.820 Like, why would they take this meeting?

00:01:19.840 But you know what?

00:01:20.620 Turned out all three of them responded right away

00:01:22.480 to cold emails.

00:01:23.760 They all took the meetings.

00:01:25.080 I honoured their time.

00:01:26.540 Not only did, you know, I listened attentively.

00:01:28.840 I took notes.

00:01:29.480 I followed up after two weeks.

00:01:30.960 And those people literally shaped my life.

00:01:33.800 You know, I believe that success has 100 fathers.

00:01:37.120 And in my world, those three plus the mentors

00:01:39.660 that have come since then are people

00:01:41.980 that have definitely guided my career, my life.

00:01:46.160 Now, here's the thing.

00:01:47.220 There are certain things you should never ask a mentor.

00:01:49.660 And I want to walk you through these five

00:01:51.180 because you might be doing them today

00:01:52.700 and you might have the opportunity to backtrack

00:01:55.140 and not do it again in the future.

00:01:56.900 Number one is never ask the question.

00:01:59.320 Now, you can ask the, hey,

00:02:00.740 how did you get started in your business?

00:02:02.360 Totally legit origin story.

00:02:04.080 It's fun.

00:02:04.580 The mentor would love to share that story.

00:02:06.280 You want to be careful, though,

00:02:07.460 that you never, if you're trying to get advice,

00:02:09.640 you never say, how did you do that?

00:02:12.260 Because there's a difference between,

00:02:13.920 hey, how did you do that versus how would you do it today?

00:02:17.760 And it's a subtlety, but it's a game changer.

00:02:20.120 So, you know, I was at a dinner yesterday,

00:02:22.820 and one of the entrepreneurs asked the other seasoned entrepreneur,

00:02:26.860 hey, how did you get started?

00:02:28.200 Because I knew he was looking for advice on how to get started.

00:02:31.160 And the person was going to start answering that question.

00:02:33.080 I stopped him.

00:02:33.780 I said, just one sec.

00:02:35.040 Are you looking for advice on how to get started?

00:02:37.940 Yes.

00:02:38.440 All right.

00:02:39.260 Reframe the question to how would you get started today?

00:02:41.940 And he did.

00:02:42.800 And you could just see the whole energy change.

00:02:45.460 And it was like instead of this like struggle of all the mistakes they made

00:02:48.740 and how they overcame it,

00:02:49.560 it was like a very clear strategic tactical plan.

00:02:52.820 So number one, never ask, if you're looking for advice,

00:02:55.620 how they did it, ask instead, how would you do it today?

00:02:58.880 Number two is never ask for a step-by-step roadmap.

00:03:02.620 You know, these mentors are very accomplished.

00:03:06.940 They're focused on big thinking.

00:03:08.460 They don't wanna sit there and try to give you A, B, and C.

00:03:11.280 It's not paint-by-numbers.

00:03:12.520 Business is an art.

00:03:14.320 It is creative.

00:03:15.480 What worked for them may not work for you,

00:03:17.300 and it's dangerous for you to ask for that,

00:03:19.260 and it's frustrating as a mentor to try to provide that

00:03:22.000 because that's too much pressure.

00:03:23.280 Every person is different.

00:03:24.740 They have different skills,

00:03:25.740 different resources in their business,

00:03:28.040 different visions for their companies.

00:03:29.580 What you want to ask instead

00:03:30.760 is kind of when you have those big challenges.

00:03:32.500 I always say mentors are the people you turn to

00:03:34.040 instead of your parents.

00:03:34.780 When you have those big things going on in your life,

00:03:37.780 those are the questions you want to ask your mentor,

00:03:39.720 not for a step-by-step roadmap.

00:03:41.960 Number three is you never want to ask your mentors for money.

00:03:45.960 Here's why.

00:03:46.580 It changes the relationship.

00:03:48.300 The way I look at it is you can ask for money.

00:03:50.880 If you're raising money from investors,

00:03:52.000 and I've done that lots.

00:03:53.780 You can get investors that provide mentorship.

00:03:56.700 Totally cool because the initial conversation

00:03:58.660 was around investment.

00:04:00.340 It's investment to mentorship's cool.

00:04:02.980 Mentorship to investment, not cool.

00:04:04.960 They've already invested their time, their energy,

00:04:07.640 their strategies with you.

00:04:09.120 Don't push the limit.

00:04:10.300 Unless, again, this is a caveat,

00:04:11.980 unless they offer and they want to.

00:04:14.000 But even then, if you have other options,

00:04:15.940 I would not do that because you don't want

00:04:18.280 to complicate the relationship.

00:04:19.800 Number four is for a handout.

00:04:22.000 And that could be for asking for referrals,

00:04:24.380 or a resource, or an introduction, or whatever it is.

00:04:28.760 Again, the mentors already put their time,

00:04:30.840 their energy, meeting with you and giving you strategies.

00:04:33.280 Again, unless they offer, don't ask for a handout.

00:04:37.640 That's such a critical component.

00:04:39.080 And number five is to become a customer.

00:04:41.440 No different than the financial side.

00:04:43.660 You want that relationship to be without bias.

00:04:47.640 You know, what I love about mentors

00:04:48.960 is they're not investors, they're not your partner,

00:04:51.960 in life, they're not part of the team,

00:04:54.500 so their advice comes unbiased,

00:04:56.560 and they're really saying, look, if it was me,

00:04:58.240 this is the way I would look at it.

00:04:59.700 You know, that is different than a co-founder,

00:05:02.200 your wife, or your husband, or your partner,

00:05:04.900 or a team member, or an advisor, or the bank,

00:05:08.240 or anybody else, your lawyer even,

00:05:10.520 they all have an interest in some kind of financial,

00:05:14.280 economical success in your business,

00:05:15.620 so it's gonna be biased, whereas a mentor,

00:05:17.260 it's pretty much like, here's the information,

00:05:19.060 do what you want.

00:05:20.060 So those are the five key areas.

00:05:21.720 Number one, you want to make sure that you never ask them

00:05:25.400 what they did, if you're looking for tactical advice,

00:05:27.940 you want to ask them what would they do today.

00:05:30.200 Number two, you want to never ask them for money

00:05:33.560 because money changes the conversation.

00:05:36.840 You never want to ask them for a step-by-step roadmap.

00:05:38.960 You never want to ask them to become a customer

00:05:42.100 and you never want to ask them for a handout.

00:05:44.500 Now, here's what I want to do.

00:05:45.920 I want to ask you to leave a comment and honor your mentor.

00:05:49.700 One of my rules when you have a mentor is any chance you get that somebody says, hey, how did you get here?

00:05:55.160 And you have the opportunity to tell that story, to honor them.

00:05:58.640 I think it's your responsibility.

00:06:00.480 So I want you to leave me a comment and let me know the story of the person that mentored you, that connected with you, that believed in you when you didn't believe in yourself.

00:06:08.980 For me, it was Ken, Jerry, and Tom.

00:06:11.680 I want you guys to make sure that you honor those people.

00:06:14.180 I've shared my story many times with those mentors, but I want to hear from you below in the comments.

00:06:18.160 As per usual, I want to challenge you to live a bigger life

00:06:20.440 and a bigger business, and I'll see you next Monday.

00:06:23.000 If you like this video, be sure to subscribe to my channel

00:06:25.520 to receive other tips on how to start and grow your business.

00:06:28.460 I'd also suggest you join my newsletter

00:06:30.320 where I will send you personalized invites to events,

00:06:33.920 free training videos, and other community contests.

00:06:36.600 As well, if you're ready to get going,

00:06:37.940 check out these other videos that got queued up for you.

00:06:39.820 I'll see you next week.

Dan Martell - October 10, 2016

5 Questions You Should Never Ask Your Mentor

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript