00:05:28.620Most people that always say yes and then regret it and stress themselves out and show up at a dinner party they don't want to be at, they're trying to be nice to everybody.
00:05:38.220Being kind sometimes is being kind to yourself and saying no is where we start.
00:05:42.960Sometimes people get overlooked before anything even comes out of their mouth.
00:05:47.580Which brings us to trick number three, respect your looks.
00:05:50.700it does blow my mind how some people take no consideration in how they're communicating
00:05:57.000their seriousness about their life to other people neglecting your looks is like printing
00:06:02.540a book with no cover whether you like it or not the cover sells a book it tells you what's inside
00:06:08.680it gives you a sense to judge what you're going to learn from that book it may be right or wrong
00:06:13.780it doesn't matter humans judge other people based on their looks and if you walk around disheveled
00:06:18.640not taking care of yourself and you're trying to get other people to take you seriously it's not
00:06:22.800going to happen i started off as more of an introverted programmer and there was kind of this
00:06:26.800like neck beard nerd look and then i realized that as i got into like meetings and serious
00:06:32.960conversations with other entrepreneurs that have built really big businesses that like i had to
00:06:37.840look the part where nobody would take me seriously your appearance shows the level of respect you
00:06:43.920expect. I was speaking with Sal Priscilla at an event and he shared this quote that really
00:06:48.440resonated with me. He says, I don't care what you have. I care about how you take care of what you
00:06:53.300have. When Sal said that, it actually made me reflect because sometimes I can be a little
00:06:58.180abusive with my cars. I got a few and I just like to drive them and I might put them away wet and
00:07:05.940you know, not worry too much about cleanliness. And it made me realize that I needed to change
00:07:11.400my attitude to take care of the things I have. Think about your body. Like I've said this several
00:07:16.180times, the bicep vein is the McLaren of the body. It communicates trust. It communicates that you're
00:07:23.080somebody that has discipline, that trusts that when they say they're going to do something,
00:07:27.360they do it. So ask yourself, do I look the part? But if you don't align your voice to your
00:07:33.800appearance, you'll never gain respect. Which brings us to hack number four, speak with strength.
00:07:39.500if your gps voice was extremely shy and lacks confidence would you follow its directions
00:07:47.120i work with a lot of young folks and it's like turn it up just a little bit if you have an idea
00:07:55.020speak share it be confident it's not scream it's not cut somebody off it's just don't talk as if
00:08:05.180you're second guessing what you're saying. It's fascinating to watch people in life. They can't
00:08:10.260stare you in the eyes. They can't talk to you clearly. And then they wonder why nobody takes
00:08:14.560them seriously. You don't take yourself seriously. If you sound unsure, no one will follow, even when
00:08:21.740you're right. So I'm going to share with you what I learned from some of the world's best speaking
00:08:25.840coaches on how to speak with strength. Number one, complete sentences. Don't trail off. I'm the
00:08:33.000worse at this. I'm creating content and my team's like, Dan, you didn't finish your thought. And
00:08:38.560I'm like, I'm so sorry. Because I just like to talk and sometimes I realize I'm not saying the
00:08:44.040word. Number two, drop qualifiers. Stop saying maybe, I hope, kind of, I think. Because you're
00:08:52.420communicating lack of confidence by using those words and what you're saying. The third is speak
00:08:57.560with certainty. Should, could, would. The problem with those words is they have expectation of
00:09:04.420failure. Think about it. You're giving yourself a note. You're not really confident. Maybe it'll
00:09:09.900work. It could work. It should work. Not how we communicate. Let's do this. We're going here.
00:09:16.380I'll see you at 5 p.m. sharp. Number four, offer decisions instead of questions. For example,
00:09:23.020we're doing this instead of should we do this people want to be led like I don't know about
00:09:28.760you but I just want to be told like where do I need to be when don't tell me it's up to me or
00:09:32.740maybe it'd be great or no no just tell me and you tell me clearly I'll be there number five
00:09:37.660use pauses silence after a strong point creates gravity my buddy Montana taught me this he goes
00:09:46.960communicating is more about the pauses in between what you're saying than actually what you said
00:09:53.240it says like music music is only created by the silence in between the notes if all the notes ran
00:09:58.780really fast it would just be like versus come out to meet you i'm not singing anyways he sang me that
00:10:08.180song to make his point it was very awkward because it was just him and i but silence is a powerful
00:10:12.820tool but we don't just speak our words which brings us to trick number five lead with your
00:10:18.660body i started this thing years ago when i run on stage i jump up in the air and i smash my feet
00:10:25.940down i don't know where i did it first but then somebody said that was really cool you should do
00:10:30.980that every time but i do it for me i do it to anchor myself i do it to communicate that i take
00:10:37.540this very seriously i do it to communicate i don't take myself that seriously because oftentimes
00:10:42.740I hurt my heel. My whole philosophy is that if you have the privilege of being on a stage,
00:10:48.840then you have to use your body to command your presence. Because here's a fact, your body speaks
00:10:55.720before your mouth ever does. This is how hard it was for me. I had to buy a posture machine for my
00:11:02.040shoulders to pull my shoulders back because I coded for so many years that it like caused my
00:11:09.120shoulders around down and then i was tall i'm six three and i always worry about making people feel
00:11:14.440nervous around me so i like play small and i had to work on having my posture back and now i
00:11:21.460communicate certainty by my body language so here's how you lead with your body you ready for
00:11:27.580this first off shoulders back it also affects how you speak it affects your energy it aligns
00:11:34.060everything it's actually very powerful second is head high chin up make eye contact with the person
00:11:40.900don't be creepy and be like hey i'm staring at you i'm not bringing eye contact here we go we're
00:11:44.480doing this oh yeah okay i'm winning i guess they're respecting me now no that's awkward you're allowed
00:11:49.440to look away and look back again don't just stare blankly into the freaking night the other one is
00:11:55.260smile always i'm a big fan of smiling because i know how big my stature is i remember one guy
00:12:00.980worked for me matisse and he's massive 268 000 pounds of pure muscle he would love that i say
00:12:07.460that and he never thought that he might want to smile when he walks in a room because he literally
00:12:12.900looks like an ogre he was wearing one day he was wearing like this beanie he has beard going on
00:12:17.780and this tight shirt and i was like bro everybody in that room thought you were going to kill them
00:12:22.340could you potentially smile next time he's like oh yeah i'm like yeah bro smile once in a while
00:12:27.460fourth is anchor your feet don't rock back and forth see a lot of people do that because it's
00:12:32.500a nervous tick stand there in your power anchor your feet the other thing is a walk with purpose
00:12:39.940if you want to communicate something you're sharing then use your body language to emphasize
00:12:45.540the story but don't get into this nervous tick situation where you're moving without purpose
00:12:51.540but gaining respect isn't just about one interaction or the first impressions which
00:12:56.420brings us a trick number six be yourself everywhere i believe people respect the rock jelly roll
00:13:03.860gary v oprah richard branson because they're the same person in every scenario and it's wild for
00:13:11.220some people to think they're not because they play different characters depending on who they're
00:13:15.780talking to they project the way they are to other people i'm telling you the most successful people
00:13:20.820are successful because they're authentic they are who they are go back okay i just want you
00:13:26.100you guys all feel really good about yourself if you want go back and watch other videos i tried
00:13:30.280to play a part a character that i wasn't button shirt super smart very articulate never made a
00:13:37.760joke here's a problem i wasn't who i am and i would rather be hated for who i truly am than
00:13:44.720adored for someone i'm not so here's how you can be yourself everywhere my buddy chris harder has
00:13:50.660this great quote that says sooner or later you'll get caught being yourself so you might as well
00:13:55.480be yourself my other philosophy is that you don't want to dim your light if you're too much because
00:14:01.260it hurts other people's eyes like be who you are at the fullest that person will find the other
00:14:07.620people that love that version of you and those people will lean in and be like i found my person
00:14:12.780and you will just have a much happier life because you will be friends and attract people that you
00:14:18.120enjoy talking to not that like you for a version of you that you're not and look if people think
00:14:23.680you're too much politely ask them to go find less so i understand being somebody that other people
00:14:29.940respect is tough because sometimes you'll come across people that just disrespect you
00:14:33.460i want you to understand is the more consistent you are around these tips and tricks the more
00:14:39.920over time people will adjust the way they show up for you they'll adjust the way they treat you
00:14:45.500they'll adjust the way they think of you and how they introduce you to other people that sets the
00:14:50.460foundation for you to be somebody that they respect because you're consistent you got a big
00:14:55.940heart and you're authentically who you are but if you struggle with feeling ambitious but lazy
00:15:01.360click here and i'll see you on the other side