Dan Martell - July 08, 2025


6 Skills you MUST Have to Become Successful

Hosted by
Dan Martell
Mentioned
Jefferson Fisher Sal Priscilla McLaren
The day I turned my life around... It's hard๏ผŸ Good.

Episode Stats


Length

15 minutes

Words per minute

193.47

Word count

2,912

Sentence count

125

Harmful content

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Why do some people get completely ignored while others seem to attract success without even trying? It s not money, it s not being the smartest person in the room, it's respect. And most people have no idea how to earn it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
00:00:00.000 Why do some people get completely ignored while others seem to attract success without even trying?
00:00:06.040 It's not money. It's not being the smartest person in the room. It's respect. And most people have
00:00:11.240 no idea how to earn it. Look, respect is one of the biggest reasons I've built what I have today.
00:00:16.600 And because of that, I want to share with you the six tricks that helped me go from nerdy and
00:00:20.700 awkward to respected and successful. If you do these, I guarantee it'll make people treat you
00:00:26.700 completely different and lead you to real success starting with trick number one speak now not later
00:00:34.060 most people don't say anything think about it for yourself has anybody brought something up that you
00:00:40.300 did six months ago and you're like what are you even talking about if a new friend does something
00:00:46.300 that's not cool like didn't show up for a meeting or showed up late say something you don't have to
00:00:50.940 be rude you don't have to be angry but not saying anything is teaching them that it's okay so what
00:00:55.740 What I would invite you to consider
00:00:57.380 is get comfortable with hard conversations.
00:01:00.520 The way I do that is, number one, is I reframe the fear.
00:01:03.460 I don't say I'm confronting somebody
00:01:05.000 or I'm being rude or I'm being direct or whatever.
00:01:06.880 I just say I'm being clear.
00:01:08.820 Wouldn't that be a great way to communicate in a clear way?
00:01:11.500 Second part is I look at it as building the muscle.
00:01:14.660 See, if I wait until it's a massive problem,
00:01:17.200 then I didn't build the muscle.
00:01:18.160 If I dress it when it's a level two, not a level 10,
00:01:20.800 then it becomes a lot easier for me,
00:01:22.960 especially as bigger things happen in my life.
00:01:25.260 And I know that the size of the problems that I can deal with
00:01:28.360 is the size of my life.
00:01:29.900 If I can only deal with little problems
00:01:31.180 because I'm scared to like hurt people's feelings,
00:01:33.000 then I won't be able to create a big life.
00:01:35.780 The third is to avoid emotions.
00:01:37.560 I don't get mad.
00:01:38.520 I don't get rude.
00:01:39.260 I don't get heated.
00:01:40.180 I just tell them about the practical outcome.
00:01:42.080 Like, here's what we need.
00:01:43.580 I'm not pissed off at them.
00:01:44.760 I just ask them for confirmation.
00:01:46.640 Here's was the agreement.
00:01:47.780 This is what you did in the future.
00:01:49.800 Could you do this?
00:01:50.560 My friend Jefferson Fisher has this great framework about the frame.
00:01:54.100 this is the conversation i want to have this is the intended outcome is that okay and so it's like
00:02:00.280 when you're giving somebody feedback saying i'd like to talk about your performance in the meeting
00:02:03.880 yesterday my goal is to get us on the same page that you'll always show up early and be prepared
00:02:08.480 is that okay and they go okay well you just sold them on the frame of having that uncomfortable
00:02:14.040 conversation with the outcome baked into the agreement that they didn't even realize they did
00:02:19.640 this is ninja stuff be sure to check out his pod and book he's got some great stuff it sounds so
00:02:24.580 subtle but if somebody acts a certain way the first time they do that say something here's the
00:02:30.460 way i see it you teach people how to treat you i have a guy coop on my team i love him but man he
00:02:37.300 likes to talk and it was so funny that i brought it up the first time he did it he said he'd work
00:02:41.860 on it brought up second time he said he'd work on it third time fourth time 57th time i love him
00:02:46.220 though. It went so far that I actually bought him a shirt that says verbose because I'm like, bro,
00:02:52.080 enough's enough. It's a joke, but I'm serious. Every comment you let slide, you're essentially
00:02:57.740 teaching people what they said is okay. If you avoid short-term discomfort, you just create
00:03:03.500 long-term dysfunction. But most people are actually disrespected because they're afraid to
00:03:09.060 defend people. Which brings us to trick number two. Stop being so nice. I'm not talking about
00:03:16.600 being a jerk. Just stop trying to please everyone. Stop trying to get everyone to like you. I pride 0.99
00:03:22.920 myself on trying to be accommodating and jovial and nice to everybody. And it bit me in the butt. 0.99
00:03:29.320 I was talking to my coach the other day and he said, hey, we have an issue. I said, what's that? 0.98
00:03:33.780 He goes, everybody I ask about you, they all say great things.
00:03:38.300 That's not good.
00:03:40.100 Okay, why?
00:03:41.920 Because if everybody likes you, it means you're not saying anything.
00:03:45.420 And for you to accomplish the goals you've shared with me,
00:03:47.900 you will not be liked by everybody.
00:03:49.840 It's impossible.
00:03:50.820 The frame that I've adopted is I'd rather be a good man, not a nice man.
00:03:56.020 And there is a difference.
00:03:57.600 The challenge with that is being nice keeps people comfortable, not accountable.
00:04:02.520 This is how I've learned to do this.
00:04:04.360 First off, learn to give feedback without sugarcoating it.
00:04:08.060 Like my buddy Coop, I was very clear.
00:04:10.220 Hey Coop, can I give you some feedback?
00:04:11.620 He said, for sure.
00:04:12.400 I said, a lot of times when you're in meetings,
00:04:13.960 you repeat the question, you add a bunch of extra stuff
00:04:16.140 and it takes you 20% more time to communicate,
00:04:19.320 which is wasting 20% of the rest of the people
00:04:21.900 in that meeting.
00:04:22.640 Those are very expensive meetings.
00:04:24.480 And he understood.
00:04:25.580 And I said, cool, can we work on this next time?
00:04:27.740 He said, for sure.
00:04:28.740 Awesome, no problem.
00:04:31.160 See, if you're unwilling to give direct feedback,
00:04:33.840 you're robbing people of their ability to improve.
00:04:36.440 And learn to say no without guilt.
00:04:39.900 I truly believe no is a complete sentence
00:04:42.800 and it ends with a period.
00:04:44.920 You don't have to always give a reason
00:04:46.700 for why something doesn't work for you.
00:04:48.620 Sometimes no is the response.
00:04:51.740 Sometimes saying I'm overcommitted, I'm not available,
00:04:54.620 I appreciate the invite,
00:04:55.660 but I'm not gonna be able to make that happen.
00:04:57.460 Thank you so much, it means a lot.
00:04:59.540 Unfortunately, I'm already tied up.
00:05:01.220 Whatever you need to say,
00:05:02.900 but being direct and kind
00:05:05.120 and saying things like no is totally fine.
00:05:08.160 If you wanna be respected,
00:05:09.680 if you're always saying yes to everything,
00:05:11.300 then the person's gonna think
00:05:12.260 that you always have the time.
00:05:14.220 People that have clear structure boundaries in their life,
00:05:17.400 I respect them because they know what they're after.
00:05:19.460 I don't want somebody that bends their desires
00:05:22.100 based on everybody else's requests on their time.
00:05:24.560 I want the person that has a clear agenda
00:05:26.180 for what they wanna create
00:05:27.000 and they know when and how to say no.
00:05:28.620 Most people that always say yes and then regret it and stress themselves out and show up at a dinner party they don't want to be at, they're trying to be nice to everybody.
00:05:38.220 Being kind sometimes is being kind to yourself and saying no is where we start.
00:05:42.960 Sometimes people get overlooked before anything even comes out of their mouth.
00:05:47.580 Which brings us to trick number three, respect your looks.
00:05:50.700 it does blow my mind how some people take no consideration in how they're communicating
00:05:57.000 their seriousness about their life to other people neglecting your looks is like printing
00:06:02.540 a book with no cover whether you like it or not the cover sells a book it tells you what's inside
00:06:08.680 it gives you a sense to judge what you're going to learn from that book it may be right or wrong
00:06:13.780 it doesn't matter humans judge other people based on their looks and if you walk around disheveled
00:06:18.640 not taking care of yourself and you're trying to get other people to take you seriously it's not
00:06:22.800 going to happen i started off as more of an introverted programmer and there was kind of this
00:06:26.800 like neck beard nerd look and then i realized that as i got into like meetings and serious
00:06:32.960 conversations with other entrepreneurs that have built really big businesses that like i had to
00:06:37.840 look the part where nobody would take me seriously your appearance shows the level of respect you
00:06:43.920 expect. I was speaking with Sal Priscilla at an event and he shared this quote that really
00:06:48.440 resonated with me. He says, I don't care what you have. I care about how you take care of what you
00:06:53.300 have. When Sal said that, it actually made me reflect because sometimes I can be a little
00:06:58.180 abusive with my cars. I got a few and I just like to drive them and I might put them away wet and
00:07:05.940 you know, not worry too much about cleanliness. And it made me realize that I needed to change
00:07:11.400 my attitude to take care of the things I have. Think about your body. Like I've said this several
00:07:16.180 times, the bicep vein is the McLaren of the body. It communicates trust. It communicates that you're
00:07:23.080 somebody that has discipline, that trusts that when they say they're going to do something,
00:07:27.360 they do it. So ask yourself, do I look the part? But if you don't align your voice to your
00:07:33.800 appearance, you'll never gain respect. Which brings us to hack number four, speak with strength.
00:07:39.500 if your gps voice was extremely shy and lacks confidence would you follow its directions
00:07:47.120 i work with a lot of young folks and it's like turn it up just a little bit if you have an idea
00:07:55.020 speak share it be confident it's not scream it's not cut somebody off it's just don't talk as if
00:08:05.180 you're second guessing what you're saying. It's fascinating to watch people in life. They can't
00:08:10.260 stare you in the eyes. They can't talk to you clearly. And then they wonder why nobody takes
00:08:14.560 them seriously. You don't take yourself seriously. If you sound unsure, no one will follow, even when
00:08:21.740 you're right. So I'm going to share with you what I learned from some of the world's best speaking
00:08:25.840 coaches on how to speak with strength. Number one, complete sentences. Don't trail off. I'm the
00:08:33.000 worse at this. I'm creating content and my team's like, Dan, you didn't finish your thought. And
00:08:38.560 I'm like, I'm so sorry. Because I just like to talk and sometimes I realize I'm not saying the
00:08:44.040 word. Number two, drop qualifiers. Stop saying maybe, I hope, kind of, I think. Because you're
00:08:52.420 communicating lack of confidence by using those words and what you're saying. The third is speak
00:08:57.560 with certainty. Should, could, would. The problem with those words is they have expectation of
00:09:04.420 failure. Think about it. You're giving yourself a note. You're not really confident. Maybe it'll
00:09:09.900 work. It could work. It should work. Not how we communicate. Let's do this. We're going here.
00:09:16.380 I'll see you at 5 p.m. sharp. Number four, offer decisions instead of questions. For example,
00:09:23.020 we're doing this instead of should we do this people want to be led like I don't know about
00:09:28.760 you but I just want to be told like where do I need to be when don't tell me it's up to me or
00:09:32.740 maybe it'd be great or no no just tell me and you tell me clearly I'll be there number five
00:09:37.660 use pauses silence after a strong point creates gravity my buddy Montana taught me this he goes
00:09:46.960 communicating is more about the pauses in between what you're saying than actually what you said
00:09:53.240 it says like music music is only created by the silence in between the notes if all the notes ran
00:09:58.780 really fast it would just be like versus come out to meet you i'm not singing anyways he sang me that
00:10:08.180 song to make his point it was very awkward because it was just him and i but silence is a powerful
00:10:12.820 tool but we don't just speak our words which brings us to trick number five lead with your
00:10:18.660 body i started this thing years ago when i run on stage i jump up in the air and i smash my feet
00:10:25.940 down i don't know where i did it first but then somebody said that was really cool you should do
00:10:30.980 that every time but i do it for me i do it to anchor myself i do it to communicate that i take
00:10:37.540 this very seriously i do it to communicate i don't take myself that seriously because oftentimes
00:10:42.740 I hurt my heel. My whole philosophy is that if you have the privilege of being on a stage,
00:10:48.840 then you have to use your body to command your presence. Because here's a fact, your body speaks
00:10:55.720 before your mouth ever does. This is how hard it was for me. I had to buy a posture machine for my
00:11:02.040 shoulders to pull my shoulders back because I coded for so many years that it like caused my
00:11:09.120 shoulders around down and then i was tall i'm six three and i always worry about making people feel
00:11:14.440 nervous around me so i like play small and i had to work on having my posture back and now i
00:11:21.460 communicate certainty by my body language so here's how you lead with your body you ready for
00:11:27.580 this first off shoulders back it also affects how you speak it affects your energy it aligns
00:11:34.060 everything it's actually very powerful second is head high chin up make eye contact with the person
00:11:40.900 don't be creepy and be like hey i'm staring at you i'm not bringing eye contact here we go we're
00:11:44.480 doing this oh yeah okay i'm winning i guess they're respecting me now no that's awkward you're allowed 0.57
00:11:49.440 to look away and look back again don't just stare blankly into the freaking night the other one is
00:11:55.260 smile always i'm a big fan of smiling because i know how big my stature is i remember one guy
00:12:00.980 worked for me matisse and he's massive 268 000 pounds of pure muscle he would love that i say
00:12:07.460 that and he never thought that he might want to smile when he walks in a room because he literally
00:12:12.900 looks like an ogre he was wearing one day he was wearing like this beanie he has beard going on
00:12:17.780 and this tight shirt and i was like bro everybody in that room thought you were going to kill them
00:12:22.340 could you potentially smile next time he's like oh yeah i'm like yeah bro smile once in a while
00:12:27.460 fourth is anchor your feet don't rock back and forth see a lot of people do that because it's
00:12:32.500 a nervous tick stand there in your power anchor your feet the other thing is a walk with purpose
00:12:39.940 if you want to communicate something you're sharing then use your body language to emphasize
00:12:45.540 the story but don't get into this nervous tick situation where you're moving without purpose
00:12:51.540 but gaining respect isn't just about one interaction or the first impressions which
00:12:56.420 brings us a trick number six be yourself everywhere i believe people respect the rock jelly roll
00:13:03.860 gary v oprah richard branson because they're the same person in every scenario and it's wild for
00:13:11.220 some people to think they're not because they play different characters depending on who they're
00:13:15.780 talking to they project the way they are to other people i'm telling you the most successful people
00:13:20.820 are successful because they're authentic they are who they are go back okay i just want you
00:13:26.100 you guys all feel really good about yourself if you want go back and watch other videos i tried
00:13:30.280 to play a part a character that i wasn't button shirt super smart very articulate never made a
00:13:37.760 joke here's a problem i wasn't who i am and i would rather be hated for who i truly am than
00:13:44.720 adored for someone i'm not so here's how you can be yourself everywhere my buddy chris harder has
00:13:50.660 this great quote that says sooner or later you'll get caught being yourself so you might as well
00:13:55.480 be yourself my other philosophy is that you don't want to dim your light if you're too much because
00:14:01.260 it hurts other people's eyes like be who you are at the fullest that person will find the other
00:14:07.620 people that love that version of you and those people will lean in and be like i found my person
00:14:12.780 and you will just have a much happier life because you will be friends and attract people that you
00:14:18.120 enjoy talking to not that like you for a version of you that you're not and look if people think
00:14:23.680 you're too much politely ask them to go find less so i understand being somebody that other people
00:14:29.940 respect is tough because sometimes you'll come across people that just disrespect you
00:14:33.460 i want you to understand is the more consistent you are around these tips and tricks the more
00:14:39.920 over time people will adjust the way they show up for you they'll adjust the way they treat you
00:14:45.500 they'll adjust the way they think of you and how they introduce you to other people that sets the
00:14:50.460 foundation for you to be somebody that they respect because you're consistent you got a big
00:14:55.940 heart and you're authentically who you are but if you struggle with feeling ambitious but lazy
00:15:01.360 click here and i'll see you on the other side