Dan Martell - May 06, 2025


8 Things I Did to Stop Wasting My Evenings After Work


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

229.90207

Word count

2,692

Sentence count

160

Harmful content

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about how you can stop wasting your evenings and focus on what matters most: family and friends. I'll also talk about the 8 hacks that have completely changed how I use my time after work and how they can help you do the same.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Every day has the same 24 hours, but most people only have two parts, work and trying to avoid
00:00:05.860 work. This was my reality for years, 16 hour days, completely exhausted and my evenings were
00:00:11.620 disappearing. But at the same time, I really wanted to be there for my family and find time
00:00:16.280 to work out. And it was only after having my first son, Max, and losing all of my free time
00:00:21.300 that I finally discovered these eight hacks that completely changed how I use my time after work.
00:00:26.180 So with that being said, these are the eight hacks to stop wasting your evenings and use them for
00:00:30.660 what actually matters. Starting with the first hack to stop wasting your evening, use your feed
00:00:34.920 to feed your mind. Most people will tell you delete TikTok and social media. I disagree. You
00:00:40.040 can literally learn more online using social media than you'll ever learn in university. But the key
00:00:46.080 is you need to learn how to hack your algorithm and here's how to do it. Number one, teach your
00:00:50.780 preferences. Your social media is a mirror to what you've engaged with in the past. So if
00:00:56.160 you want to use your feed to feed your mind, you have to actually tell it. So what I do is I
00:01:00.320 actually search for things I want to learn about. Let's say it's AI or marketing my business or
00:01:05.320 learning a new skill. And I search for videos on that. And then I leave a comment FYP, which stands
00:01:10.260 for for you page, which means feed my algorithm. Now this isn't built into the algorithm. This is
00:01:14.780 just my little sneaky way to hack it together. And it works flawlessly. You'll literally see
00:01:19.360 your feed change within minutes. The second is unfollow accounts. Now this one might hurt some
00:01:24.660 people's feelings, but trust me on it. You're responsible for the energy you bring into your
00:01:29.060 life, meaning certain people's account are making you triggered and making you feel a certain way.
00:01:33.600 So you might have to unfollow them. If you can't do it because you're worried of hurting some
00:01:37.240 feelings, just mute them. I'm a big fan of curating and unfollowing it. I call it a friendventory.
00:01:42.520 Number three, integrate what you learn. So it's one thing to just learn something. I'm a big fan
00:01:47.440 of saving it, creating collections, and then using that information, trying to teach it to other
00:01:52.080 people share it i might use it in a quote on instagram i might tell a friend about a story
00:01:56.400 i might refer it to somebody on my team or a friend of mine the more you integrate what you're
00:02:01.120 learning into the people around you the easier it is for it to come back to help your mind while
00:02:06.080 most productivity nerds out there will tell you get off your phone and delete the app i'm telling
00:02:10.480 you use it you just got to do it this way so it actually makes you better which brings us to hack
00:02:15.200 number two of getting back your evenings forget work-life balance here's the reality i work seven
00:02:20.800 days a week evenings included most people that see me think i have this very balanced life and
00:02:26.320 the truth is is my life is 24 7 creation i don't have work-life balance i have work-life integration
00:02:32.560 i just happen to be in business with the same people i go mountain biking with i don't separate
00:02:37.120 anything it's funny because my dad used to say if you love the work you do you'll never work a day
00:02:40.880 in your life i just didn't think he thought that i would take it to this level so here's how i
00:02:44.800 integrate my life to not waste my evenings to push my life forward every evening is used to
00:02:49.600 to be proactive to do something.
00:02:51.180 Tuesday is date night with my wife.
00:02:52.780 Mountain biking is Wednesday.
00:02:54.080 It's all integrated.
00:02:55.380 It's just doing the thing that I know
00:02:57.220 is gonna support my dreams.
00:02:58.740 See, there is work that you can do
00:03:00.600 even when your brain is fried and you're tired.
00:03:03.020 So for example, if I'm not feeling
00:03:04.820 like doing anything creative anymore,
00:03:06.780 going to a founder's dinner,
00:03:08.420 getting a group of friends to go mountain biking
00:03:10.100 will reset my energy and allow me
00:03:11.980 to have these conversations on the uphill
00:03:13.660 that might move my business forward.
00:03:15.080 The way I prioritize those kinds of activities
00:03:17.080 is using the Eisenhower matrix.
00:03:18.880 where you have one axis that is important,
00:03:20.840 the other one is urgency.
00:03:22.300 And what you wanna do is use your evenings
00:03:23.780 to do things that are important, but not urgent.
00:03:26.480 Strategy, ideation, reviewing data,
00:03:29.100 and relationship building.
00:03:30.700 Which brings us to hack number three, schedule family time.
00:03:33.620 See, most people spend time with their family
00:03:36.280 or their friends, but they're like half there.
00:03:38.680 Their brains are fried and they're not present.
00:03:40.820 Here's what I recommend instead, is block that time out.
00:03:43.960 I've always found it interesting
00:03:45.360 that the people you love the most
00:03:47.340 usually get your leftovers.
00:03:48.880 And the reason why is you just don't prioritize your energy
00:03:51.120 throughout the week, especially your evenings.
00:03:53.200 I remember being at an event
00:03:54.360 and hearing Ryan Holiday share this quote.
00:03:56.100 He said, there are people with kids
00:03:57.480 and then there are parents.
00:03:58.700 I think parents are intentional
00:04:00.180 about what they wanna do and teach their kids,
00:04:02.480 whereas there's people with kids
00:04:03.720 that literally just make sure that they're fed
00:04:05.700 and that's about it.
00:04:06.720 So here are three ways to be present
00:04:08.700 with your kids or your friends.
00:04:09.980 Number one is weekly date nights or weekly nights.
00:04:13.060 It doesn't matter if you're single
00:04:14.060 and you wanna see your friends or go on dates,
00:04:15.920 but you need to prioritize it.
00:04:17.480 I learned a long time ago,
00:04:18.540 if my wife and I are good, the kids are good.
00:04:21.460 If mom and dad aren't good, the kids want one thing,
00:04:24.480 mom and dad to be good.
00:04:25.680 So you gotta make it a priority.
00:04:26.940 Number two is plan the activity.
00:04:28.600 Most people will just sit at home and be like,
00:04:31.320 let's watch a show together.
00:04:32.480 And they just lay around on the couch
00:04:33.820 and they consider that spending quality time together.
00:04:36.200 I think you should date your partner.
00:04:38.280 I think you should get out of your home
00:04:39.980 and you should go do things that both are interesting to you
00:04:42.660 and that maybe you haven't done before.
00:04:44.440 Because if it's the same old, same old, same old,
00:04:46.640 trust me you're not investing in the relationship and the third is bedtime routine i love to put my
00:04:52.380 kids to bed why because for me it's in that time i ask my kids this question every day because i
00:04:58.040 think it's the one thing i gotta get them good at and that's did you fail today tell me about it and
00:05:02.580 i celebrate it because i believe that winners fail more than losers and if you don't let your kids
00:05:08.600 fail they'll grow up as losers which brings us to hack number four defend your downtime this was dan
00:05:14.460 about 13 years ago. I was working 100 hour weeks. I thought it was normal. I thought that frenetic
00:05:20.160 energy is what made me successful. I thought it was my edge. The problem was is I literally burned
00:05:25.200 myself out. My body said stop. I got adrenal fatigue and shingles on my back and the people
00:05:30.400 around me couldn't stand me because I couldn't turn off. What I've learned since then is the
00:05:35.060 downtime is part of the creative process. That is something you want to take advantage of. Hobbies
00:05:40.240 aren't just the break, they're a strategy to success.
00:05:43.320 I'm a better person for my family and my team
00:05:46.860 if I go and do the thing I love to do.
00:05:49.040 So here's how to defend your downtime
00:05:50.740 and create that space for it to breathe.
00:05:53.020 Number one, you gotta block time for hobbies.
00:05:55.640 On your calendar, block it in and put it in.
00:05:58.140 I have the block times in my calendar to do the thing
00:06:00.820 because I'm happier after I get to do those hobbies.
00:06:03.600 The second is pick challenging hobbies.
00:06:05.720 I get it, some people are into like model trains
00:06:08.180 and origami and all that fun stuff.
00:06:10.240 It's just not for me.
00:06:11.140 I like physical and mentally tough things
00:06:13.520 like mountain biking, wake surfing, snowboarding, hiking,
00:06:17.120 because I get to exhaust my body to tame my mind
00:06:20.540 and that makes me better for everybody.
00:06:22.420 Number three, make it reoccurring.
00:06:24.080 You ever have those times
00:06:25.000 where somebody calls you to play ball hockey
00:06:26.420 or pick up basketball and you have such a great time
00:06:28.620 and for whatever reason, life gets busy
00:06:30.500 and you don't do it again, but you said you would?
00:06:32.720 I'm a big fan of putting it in my calendar
00:06:34.820 and sending the reoccurring invite
00:06:36.620 to everybody that was there so that we don't miss it again.
00:06:39.500 I really believe that consistency compounds
00:06:42.380 and having that reoccurring calendar
00:06:44.140 that everybody commits to will make it a priority.
00:06:46.400 Which brings us to hack number five, never eat alone.
00:06:49.360 I learned this crazy idea from Keith Ferrazzi
00:06:52.780 when he wrote about it in a book called Never Eat Alone.
00:06:55.220 As an introverted programmer that'd rather code
00:06:57.860 than talk to another person,
00:06:59.240 the idea of organizing dinners with business people
00:07:02.100 to just invite them to hang out was wild to me.
00:07:04.940 And I remember even Keith went as far in the book
00:07:06.900 to talk about invite people to do workouts 0.98
00:07:09.360 and I'm like, that's the dumbest thing ever. 0.97
00:07:11.720 Nobody would ever do that. 0.96
00:07:12.820 However, today, if I've never met you,
00:07:15.060 there's no way we're connecting
00:07:16.200 without first doing something hard physically.
00:07:18.300 Usually the founders hike
00:07:19.280 because it's just such a beautiful way
00:07:21.220 to go do something that benefits both people
00:07:23.780 and create the space
00:07:24.840 for you to have really great conversations.
00:07:26.800 The meal or founder's dinner takes it to another level.
00:07:30.060 And the cool part is you can invite a lot of people
00:07:31.880 because the more hands you shake, the more money you make.
00:07:35.040 So one of my favorite ways to do this
00:07:36.640 is if you're going to an event
00:07:38.080 and you don't know anybody,
00:07:39.360 Just book a restaurant the night of the event.
00:07:41.640 And then as you meet people throughout the day,
00:07:43.600 just be like, hey, you got dinner plans?
00:07:45.060 No, do you wanna come to dinner?
00:07:46.140 I've invited a few other people.
00:07:47.340 Then you become the person that brings them together.
00:07:49.800 See, one of the things you'll learn
00:07:50.940 if you study relationships and networking
00:07:53.060 is that loose ties lead to the biggest opportunities.
00:07:56.400 The people you know well already know you
00:07:58.180 and what's available out in the world.
00:07:59.400 They're not gonna bring you new stuff,
00:08:00.800 but it's the people you just met or haven't seen in a while
00:08:03.420 that will bring you the biggest opportunities
00:08:05.200 to make you money.
00:08:06.180 So I always curate the connections,
00:08:07.720 make sure I invite the right people to the meal
00:08:09.760 and I introduce everybody to each other.
00:08:11.920 They think that I'm the person
00:08:13.040 that knows everybody really well.
00:08:14.420 They don't realize that I just met them that day.
00:08:16.480 Which brings us to hack number six,
00:08:18.080 avoid the dragon, don't try to slay it.
00:08:20.220 So the other day I was talking to my buddy
00:08:21.780 who's trying to lose some weight
00:08:22.840 and he was all frustrated and pissed off 0.84
00:08:24.480 because he said his family wouldn't allow him
00:08:26.540 to get rid of the snacks in his house.
00:08:28.260 So he's always catching himself snacking late at night.
00:08:30.800 And I just said to him,
00:08:31.580 they might not let you throw them in the garbage,
00:08:33.860 just remove them from the pantry
00:08:35.720 that you go in 17 times a day.
00:08:37.720 Your environment will always win over your willpower.
00:08:41.140 So here's how you set yourself up to win.
00:08:43.140 Junk food issues, clean out your pantry.
00:08:45.380 Don't have it in your face.
00:08:47.280 For me, my crazy addiction is peanut butter.
00:08:50.240 And if chocolate's nearby, you put those two together,
00:08:52.940 it's not healthy.
00:08:53.920 So I just don't have it in our pantry.
00:08:55.520 It's in the laundry room.
00:08:56.460 Video games, unplug the console.
00:08:58.740 I had a video game console at my house.
00:09:00.880 I decided to bring it into the office.
00:09:02.260 That way, if we wanted to play video games,
00:09:03.720 we'd all have to get in the car,
00:09:04.820 drive down to the office and play there.
00:09:06.240 It turned out nobody wanted to play anymore.
00:09:07.520 The ultimate way to not waste your evening
00:09:09.820 is to make the good choice the only choice.
00:09:12.640 Which brings us to hack number seven, do an evening reset.
00:09:15.480 For me, this strategy is so important.
00:09:17.660 I give everybody on all my teams this one book
00:09:20.480 and it's called the five minute journal.
00:09:22.040 And here's how we break down the process.
00:09:23.660 Number one is reflect on today.
00:09:25.420 Ask yourself, and this is what the book prompts,
00:09:27.420 what went well and what did you learn?
00:09:29.440 Most people don't take time to celebrate their wins.
00:09:32.780 They always say, oh, I didn't get this done.
00:09:34.160 When they go to bed, stress out, which affects their sleep.
00:09:36.120 If you can just redirect that energy to awesomeness,
00:09:38.960 you will sleep better.
00:09:40.280 Number two is review your goals.
00:09:41.720 See, I believe that if you wanna hit a target,
00:09:44.500 reviewing that goal three times a day
00:09:46.700 will increase the probability
00:09:48.000 that you hit that crazy target
00:09:49.500 because you can't hit a target that you can't see.
00:09:52.020 So every night before I shut things off and go to bed,
00:09:54.660 I always review my goals.
00:09:56.100 Number three is plan for tomorrow.
00:09:58.040 Before I go to bed around 8.30,
00:09:59.860 after I put my kids to bed,
00:10:00.940 I sit down with my wife and we talk.
00:10:02.240 I review my calendar.
00:10:03.360 I review my plan.
00:10:04.300 I make sure it reflects my priorities and my goals.
00:10:06.840 And if it doesn't, I tweak stuff, screenshot it,
00:10:08.840 send to my assistant, but make sure when I wake up,
00:10:11.160 I know exactly what I'm gonna attack,
00:10:12.720 the workout and then get to the work.
00:10:14.400 Which brings us to hack number eight
00:10:15.800 of not wasting your evening, set a bedtime alarm.
00:10:18.480 A few months ago, I had one of my private clients in town
00:10:20.960 and he mentioned he had his wife.
00:10:22.520 So I said, hey, why don't you guys come over for dinner?
00:10:24.220 And we're in the living room
00:10:25.560 and she starts telling me about how they met.
00:10:27.660 And then she happens to mention
00:10:29.080 that her husband has this bad habit.
00:10:30.860 He literally set seven different morning alarms
00:10:34.500 that he uses to snooze to.
00:10:36.680 And it occurred to me that this guy thinks it's normal
00:10:39.640 to wake up and just snooze, snooze.
00:10:42.300 That is a big no-no.
00:10:43.800 If you have a hard time waking up on time,
00:10:46.560 then you have to set a nighttime alarm to go to bed.
00:10:49.480 See, your energy today is from decisions you made before.
00:10:52.880 Your choices now determine your energy later.
00:10:55.960 Here's the reality.
00:10:56.980 People see me post at four in the morning on Instagram,
00:10:59.260 and most of the time I get up really early,
00:11:01.340 but I get up without an alarm.
00:11:03.240 And when people are surprised by that,
00:11:04.620 I just tell them, oh, it's not that impressive.
00:11:06.480 I just go to bed at nine.
00:11:07.680 I literally have an alarm to tell me, go to bed.
00:11:10.080 It's funny because everybody talks
00:11:11.820 about the morning routine
00:11:13.000 and I understand how important it is
00:11:14.880 to have a process for getting into the creative work
00:11:17.240 and really planning your day.
00:11:18.560 But the end of the day is where we kind of button things up
00:11:21.700 and create this framework for the following day.
00:11:23.960 So in many ways, I think about it
00:11:25.520 as a slingshot to your growth.
00:11:27.420 Most people can stay focused
00:11:29.700 and they have a lot of discipline during the day,
00:11:31.880 but evenings are where the winners are made.
00:11:34.340 If you make these small changes, you'll be unstoppable.
00:11:37.520 So if you wanna learn the 13 hacks
00:11:39.380 to be 99% more disciplined,
00:11:41.260 click here and I'll see you on the other side.