Dan Martell - How to Get Your Sh＊t Together

00:00:00.000 This is nine steps to get your shit together. 1.00

00:00:02.280 Step one, change your environment. 1.00

00:00:04.200 You can't have a positive mindset in a negative environment.

00:00:07.420 I don't care how great your mindset is.

00:00:09.200 It's like being in a commercial grade freezer.

00:00:11.560 If you're standing in that freezer

00:00:12.700 and you think you have a positive mental attitude,

00:00:15.000 no, you're gonna be cold.

00:00:16.500 But if I take you out of that freezer

00:00:17.840 and I put you under a heat lamp, you're gonna warm up.

00:00:20.200 You're human.

00:00:20.940 Understand that you are built to be influenced

00:00:23.900 by people around you.

00:00:25.300 So how do we change your environment?

00:00:26.940 Number one is you gotta look at your friend group.

00:00:28.720 See, a lot of people talk about you become the average of the five people you spend the most

00:00:32.240 time with. Actually, that's not it. You become the average of the five people you allow to

00:00:36.460 influence you. The good news is, is you can allow yourself to be influenced by people online. Think

00:00:41.400 of it as like who you give your power of opinion to. In legal, they call it the power of attorney.

00:00:46.140 I think it is power of opinion. You can choose the people that you would allow to influence you.

00:00:51.360 You could think about those people and say, what would they do? What would the people that you

00:00:55.260 admire that have achieved the thing that you want to do? How would they assess your decisions? So

00:00:59.780 oftentimes, one of the fastest ways that you can just reset your environment is to move, change

00:01:05.580 cities, go to a new school, take a new job. I know that sounds crazy for a lot of you, but I've done

00:01:10.700 it several times in my career and every time it's allowed me to reset who I wanted to become. Not

00:01:16.820 that there's anything wrong in who I was at my core, but I knew if I wanted to go to another

00:01:21.320 level, I had to be around people that were way higher and further along than me. I believe that

00:01:26.000 my vibe attracts my tribe. So if my energy is good, I'm going to attract other good people.

00:01:29.880 The problem is if you're the smartest person on your street, you're the richest person on your

00:01:32.980 street, you got to move streets. If you're the wealthiest person amongst your friend group,

00:01:37.560 you got to find a new group of friends. If you're the big dog in your city, find a new city,

00:01:42.160 your container, where you live, communicates your identity to everybody else and to yourself.

00:01:48.040 And if you're not absolutely freaking proud

00:01:50.360 around all the things around you,

00:01:52.060 then you gotta upgrade your identity.

00:01:53.480 You gotta upgrade your friends.

00:01:54.640 Here's what I believe.

00:01:55.560 Most people are scared to let go

00:01:57.120 because they're worried that they won't find

00:01:59.520 a new group of friends to hang out with.

00:02:01.040 But you won't have the time in your calendar

00:02:03.020 to go even explore.

00:02:04.720 You won't have the time if you don't start saying no.

00:02:07.660 Saying no to your current life

00:02:09.780 allows you to say yes to your potential future,

00:02:12.400 which leads us directly into step two, 0.99

00:02:14.700 which is just fucking do it. 0.98

00:02:17.100 There's a reason why it's a license plate on my car. 0.97

00:02:19.980 A long time ago, I discovered that the gap

00:02:22.700 between knowing something and doing something is the delay.

00:02:26.820 As soon as you know, you have to default to action.

00:02:30.200 If you're reading a book and there's a passage,

00:02:31.900 a chapter, a paragraph that you're like, 0.96

00:02:33.480 damn, that's really smart. 0.98

00:02:34.760 Put the book down, go do something with it. 1.00

00:02:37.240 If you're talking to a mentor and he gives you advice

00:02:39.640 and you're like, oh my gosh, that's so smart.

00:02:41.260 Why am I not doing that?

00:02:42.240 Go do it.

00:02:42.800 If something I've ever shared with you moves you inside,

00:02:45.660 you have like a feeling around it default to action it's all about closing the knowing and

00:02:50.780 doing gap where there's no more gap jfdi just freaking do it most people sit there and they

00:02:56.780 overanalyze and they think about it and they ruminate and they spiral in their head is this

00:03:00.860 the right decision what would happen what will people think how about before you get inside your

00:03:05.140 head you just do most people would rather play it safe and talk to people about their decisions

00:03:10.980 their actions, doing the thing than actually doing the thing. And it's funny because they'll

00:03:15.860 waste time, 10 times more time talking about it, thinking about it, writing it down. How about no

00:03:21.620 writing it down and just doing it? How about no scheduling and just doing it? How about no

00:03:26.080 planning for it and just doing it? That muscle is the muscle that has to be built for entrepreneurs

00:03:31.780 to take advantage of opportunities, which leads directly into step three, which is don't blame

00:03:36.400 anyone or anything go look in the mirror after i got sober i found it interesting i didn't tell

00:03:41.940 anybody what i was doing or how they should act but over time everyone around me got sober everyone

00:03:47.940 around me decided to quit drugs stop drinking so much in my life today many people don't even drink

00:03:54.340 anymore and oftentimes i get messages saying hey man i've been sober for nine months thanks to you

00:03:58.800 you shared your story and it made me really reflect on what i was doing in my life what i love about

00:04:03.140 that is they decided to not blame other people. They decided to take control of what they had the

00:04:08.440 power to control. See, if you defer your power to somebody else by saying it's like, well, I could

00:04:13.820 do it if my wife was on board, then you're making your change dependent on somebody else who you 0.99

00:04:18.900 cannot control. My philosophy is very simple. Nobody has to change for me to win. If you want

00:04:24.160 to see people change around you, then you have to be the example. In a relationship, I think it

00:04:28.600 comes down to this. I will focus 100% on me and I'll expect that you focus 100% on you so that

00:04:34.000 we both have more of each other for each other. Think about that. Many people use other folks in

00:04:40.360 their life as the reason for failure. I can't do this because I have kids. How about because you

00:04:45.860 have kids? How about because you have a family? How about the fact that your parents were obese

00:04:51.360 and unhealthy that you decide to get in the best shape of your life so that you have the chance to

00:04:55.800 have any kind of influence over these people versus using them as the reason you can't get

00:05:00.220 your stuff together. Most people would rather point to somebody else, which is interesting

00:05:03.840 because when you do that, you have three fingers pointing back at yourself. It allows you to not

00:05:08.200 be accountable, allows you to not have to be honest with yourself saying that person, whether

00:05:13.180 they did that or didn't do that, doesn't change the way I responded. I could have used that as

00:05:18.360 feedback to go be better, but instead I'm like, oh, that's the reason I can't win. Or you could go,

00:05:23.100 I created this situation. I allowed that person in my life. I decided to have a relationship with

00:05:28.200 that person. These are all things you can control and don't give the power up to somebody else to

00:05:33.260 take away the power for you to change your life, which leads us directly into step four, which is

00:05:37.560 it's easier to avoid the dragon than to slay it. Most people that want to get in shape, the number

00:05:42.340 one move they could make is to grab all the junk food, all the snacky stuff, all the things that

00:05:48.240 they know would be a slippery slope if they ate and put it in a box and give it to somebody that

00:05:52.980 needs the food. It's easier to avoid the dragon than to slay it. Most people are like, oh yeah,

00:05:58.320 no, I've got mental toughness. You could do that or you could just design the game to be easier to

00:06:02.880 play. Before I go to bed, I put out my clothes for the next morning. Why? Because when the alarm goes

00:06:07.320 off at four in the morning and I got to get up and go to the gym, if I don't have things just

00:06:11.920 set up properly and I'm trying to like overcome the desire to not get up that early, there's a

00:06:17.800 good chance that I'm probably not going to make the best decision. If you go to a barbecue, you

00:06:21.240 can decide to show up after everybody's eaten and then enjoy the festivities without having to be

00:06:26.780 enticed. Just make these decisions. It's always easier to avoid the situation than to try to bring

00:06:33.060 on the motivation, the mental toughness to say no. I just decide to avoid the whole situation

00:06:37.880 altogether. It's like a family gathering. And you know, if you go there, your uncle is going to say

00:06:41.800 something and then he's going to talk crap and then you're going to have to respond or you can 0.98

00:06:45.100 just not go. You can decide my mental health, my emotions. I'm just happier when I'm not around 0.99

00:06:50.160 that person, you're allowed to say no. I coach so many people on getting their fitness together

00:06:54.580 and they go, well, I don't want to eat different than my family. And I go, hmm, why is that? Well,

00:06:58.880 I don't want them to feel like I'm better than them or that they feel guilty for eating in front

00:07:03.480 of me. It's like, well, when you go to a restaurant, do you eat the same meal as everybody else

00:07:06.820 ordered? No, you don't. So don't lie to yourself that other people's feelings, that's what it is.

00:07:11.820 Most people use other people's feelings as the reason to not stay consistent, as the reason to

00:07:18.040 not avoid the dragon you're allowed to take all the food and throw it out and if somebody wants

00:07:23.880 to have a certain type of food have them save it somewhere else in the house be like hey put it in

00:07:28.800 a cupboard where i'll never go to don't invite me to that family gathering going forward this person

00:07:35.220 i don't need them in my life please don't invite me to anything they participate you can ask people

00:07:40.500 to support you in your dreams and your goals so that you don't even have to be the person that

00:07:44.480 makes the decision. Just make it once, let them know, hold the standard, which brings us directly

00:07:49.180 into step five, which is stop being so critical of yourself. I know this all too well. I actually

00:07:54.040 have a guy on my team and it's super natural, but anytime something happens that he sees that

00:07:58.600 he's involved in, or even arm's length, he thinks it's about him. He thinks he did something wrong.

00:08:02.940 And I get it. Sometimes this happens to me where somebody will say something and I think, well,

00:08:06.640 did I say something wrong? Like, why are they upset? And it's not even true. What's crazy is

00:08:11.080 most of the time that that person on my team is worried. When I ask them why, the situation had

00:08:15.960 nothing to do with that. So here's what you do. First thing I want you to consider is to lift

00:08:19.420 your head. Instead of looking at your feet and worry about like, is this about me? Is this about

00:08:23.620 me? Is this about me? I want you to lift your eyes up and look over the horizon. Focus on a vision.

00:08:29.060 Focus on the future. Focus on what are you trying to create? Who are the people that you want around

00:08:34.140 you? Who can you serve with your message? Who can you serve with your services? Tony Robbins says

00:08:38.520 this often. If you get inside your head, you're dead. When you see yourself spiral, do one of

00:08:42.960 four things. Number one, gratitude, vision, future I'm trying to create. Three, workout. Four, go help

00:08:49.120 somebody. That gets me back on the path and helps me spiral up instead of spiraling down. What

00:08:53.740 happens is high performers have the tendency to be really hard on themselves. There's a thin line

00:08:58.140 between being hard on yourself that impacts your performance versus hard on yourself because it's

00:09:03.060 feedback for you to get better. The difference is, is where are the feedbacks coming from? So that's

00:09:07.300 why you want to pay somebody else to give you feedback because when i pay for coaching that

00:09:11.640 information lands differently than when i'm saying those same words to myself in my head people beat

00:09:16.780 themselves down because they create the situation that they want to move away from they need the

00:09:21.140 pain to be able to push against it instead of the feedback from somebody else that's trying to make

00:09:26.040 you better then you're going to want to live up to their expectations not necessarily push away

00:09:31.480 from the pain that you've created by trying to tell yourself how bad you are to try to push you

00:09:35.580 forward. That desire to step into somebody's greatness that they see you through their eyes

00:09:40.560 is way easier than trying to overcome the negative talk that you use to propel you forward,

00:09:45.580 which leads us directly into step six, which is replace your negative habits with positive

00:09:50.520 habits. When I stopped smoking, I replaced it with toothpicks. When I got sober, I started coding.

00:09:56.340 When I have a bad habit, something I want to give up, I got to figure out what's that trigger for

00:10:00.260 me to do the bad habit and how do I replace it with something that's positive? Usually it's like

00:10:04.660 working out going for a walk calling a friend i even use the concept of brushing my teeth at 6 p.m

00:10:10.340 to shut down my decision to eat any food after the fact because i know my eating windows are 6 a.m

00:10:15.940 to 6 p.m even doing 10 push-ups imagine if every time you wanted to go and smoke a vape you decided

00:10:22.260 to do 10 push-ups it wouldn't take long before those push-ups became the new norm and the truth

00:10:26.580 is is you got to get rid of the old to make room for the new you have to give up the bad habits so

00:10:31.060 so that you can build yourself forward.

00:10:32.820 Most people make the mistake of just like giving something up

00:10:35.340 and then creating a void.

00:10:36.580 Problem with the void is it will get filled.

00:10:38.300 And especially if it's something

00:10:39.800 like you've been doing for decades. 0.90

00:10:41.720 It could be something silly, 0.66

00:10:42.780 like playing video games or watching Netflix

00:10:45.020 instead of getting up and doing your work.

00:10:46.520 Some people literally,

00:10:47.840 as soon as they have a moment where they're in flow,

00:10:50.660 their brain switches and they open up a tab

00:10:52.480 and they start typing F-A-C-E enter

00:10:54.740 and they go onto Facebook and they have browser blindness

00:10:57.020 and they come back three hours later going,

00:10:58.600 what did I do with my day?

00:11:00.280 In those moments, you need to design the situation

00:11:03.300 to replace the old habit with something new.

00:11:05.900 Honestly, if you need to use apps

00:11:08.000 to block your internet browsers or certain websites,

00:11:10.640 or you need to create some accountability

00:11:12.700 or use a timer or play some music

00:11:14.500 or whatever it is to create the scenario,

00:11:16.520 the best way to replace a bad habit

00:11:18.440 is to use something positive that takes over,

00:11:21.120 which leads us directly into step seven,

00:11:23.180 which is dedicate yourself to a thousand days.

00:11:25.820 Over the years, I've discovered that most people

00:11:28.960 overestimate what they can do in one year,

00:11:31.120 but drastically underestimate what they can do in three years.

00:11:34.520 And I call it a dedicate.

00:11:35.960 Choosing to be consistent around some new positive habits.

00:11:40.040 Things like waking up earlier, reading 10 pages of a book,

00:11:42.880 going to the gym, reading affirmations,

00:11:45.600 gratitude practice, meditation, whatever it is.

00:11:48.800 If you can dedicate yourself to betterment,

00:11:51.240 trust me, in less than three years,

00:11:53.240 you'll see an impact right away.

00:11:54.820 But it's the consistency in the identity building

00:11:57.500 and what it tells you about who you are.

00:11:59.860 See, most people feel like they lack confidence

00:12:02.260 or they don't have self-worth

00:12:03.540 or they feel like they're not good enough.

00:12:05.240 But the truth is, is it's all the times you made a decision

00:12:08.300 that you didn't keep,

00:12:09.560 especially the ones you made to yourself in private

00:12:11.800 that eroded the ability for you to feel better about yourself,

00:12:15.520 to build that confidence, to think bigger

00:12:18.260 because you have proof that you're the kind of person

00:12:20.840 that can be consistent.

00:12:22.380 And when you're consistent, it compounds.

00:12:24.880 And what I've learned over the years

00:12:25.900 is that consistency builds a foundation for growth

00:12:28.860 because otherwise without consistency,

00:12:30.580 you won't have anything strong to build on top of.

00:12:33.980 And then you'll always build a little bit and fall back,

00:12:36.220 build a little bit and fall back.

00:12:37.660 If you can dedicate yourself to a thousand days,

00:12:40.620 you will be unstoppable,

00:12:41.600 which leads us directly into step eight,

00:12:43.980 which is reward yourself along the way.

00:12:46.220 As much as I'm a person of sacrifice

00:12:48.400 and saying no to things,

00:12:49.720 I also have learned for the game to be fun to play,

00:12:52.340 you have to give yourself many rewards along the way.

00:12:54.620 That's why all of my goals have a positive reward

00:12:58.040 of something I want on the back end of it.

00:13:00.520 So for example, when I was training for my first Ironman,

00:13:02.940 I put my family vacation at risk.

00:13:05.220 Now you wanna talk about getting your family

00:13:06.560 aligned with your goals?

00:13:08.160 Tell them that if you don't complete your Ironman

00:13:10.500 in a certain amount of time,

00:13:11.520 that their whole family vacation isn't gonna happen.

00:13:14.220 So my wife did not ask me, do you want some dessert?

00:13:17.060 Or, hey, are you really getting up that early

00:13:19.200 to go train tomorrow morning?

00:13:20.820 She was like, go train, go eat better,

00:13:23.420 work on yourself do good go call your friends up push harder why because my mini reward was on the

00:13:30.960 back end of doing something hard and i've done this in all of my goals every year i sit down i

00:13:35.140 outline 12 goals for the year and i put a reward as the big goal and i put many rewards along the

00:13:40.000 way that way i get some feedback as i accomplish these mini milestones along the way to the big

00:13:45.200 goal most people just buy themselves whatever they want or go do whatever they want and because of

00:13:50.420 that they don't really earn it. My whole philosophy is that if I want to have an epic meal, then I'm

00:13:55.920 going to be consistent for 95% of the week. If I want to go buy myself a new desk, then I'm going

00:14:02.460 to go and earn it by hitting some kind of financial reward in one of my companies. If I want to buy

00:14:06.900 that new supercar, guess what? That's on the back end of something massive. I just did it with my

00:14:11.500 Ferrari Pista. I decided to do a full body recomp, get down to four or 5% body fat, and then rebuild

00:14:16.760 to 215 pounds lean at 8% body fat,

00:14:20.480 that's what unlocked the reward of that car.

00:14:22.520 The key is to design the game to play and to win.

00:14:25.600 So give yourself mini rewards will incentivize you

00:14:28.680 to keep pushing when most people would wanna give up. 0.97

00:14:31.000 You wanna implement rewards to hack your brain

00:14:33.120 into wanting to do the hard things.

00:14:35.060 Why?

00:14:35.340 Because if not, it just feels like pointless.

00:14:37.680 Most people, when they have to do a hard thing,

00:14:40.260 if they don't have a reason for doing it,

00:14:43.280 it feels like stress.

00:14:44.400 As soon as you give them a crusade, a mission,

00:14:47.760 a movement that they're participating in,

00:14:49.760 all of a sudden it becomes honorable.

00:14:51.860 It becomes something they wanna do.

00:14:53.460 And then it's stress they've decided,

00:14:55.100 what's called eustress. 1.00

00:14:56.360 If we're gonna climb the mountain and there's no point,

00:14:59.100 there's no reward, there's no recognition,

00:15:01.200 then essentially the heart is just hard for no purpose.

00:15:04.020 If we say that I'm climbing that mountain

00:15:05.960 because I wanna raise some money for charity,

00:15:07.900 you will do way more to get to the top faster

00:15:11.380 because other people are involved

00:15:13.200 that you're gonna support,

00:15:14.520 the why is much bigger than the how.

00:15:16.780 If the how is hard,

00:15:18.260 you need a massive why to keep pushing you forward.

00:15:20.480 The reward creates that why,

00:15:22.040 which leads directly into step nine,

00:15:24.180 which is don't compare your chapter one

00:15:26.080 to someone's chapter 10.

00:15:27.680 I believe comparison is the thief of joy.

00:15:30.120 I've been building businesses for 27 years.

00:15:34.420 So let's be honest, it's not that impressive.

00:15:37.060 I was talking to my dad this morning and he said,

00:15:39.060 you know, Dan, the one thing I can say about you

00:15:41.020 is you're consistent.

00:15:42.160 My year is fairly consistent.

00:15:44.940 I do the same types of things with the same type of people

00:15:47.360 and I change up the environment,

00:15:49.120 but in regards to my effort, my focus,

00:15:51.680 my process for my winning, my revenue rhythms,

00:15:54.820 consistent, consistent, consistent.

00:15:57.180 So if you're starting off

00:15:58.600 and you're trying to compare where I'm at on social media,

00:16:01.940 on my finances, on my relationship with my wife,

00:16:05.100 my health, my fitness, all these things make no sense

00:16:07.920 because I've been at it for a long, long, long time.

00:16:10.920 Even these 23-year-olds that you're like,

00:16:12.700 oh my gosh, they're 23 and they're driving around

00:16:14.580 in a Lamborghini, many of them been in business

00:16:17.020 trying legit for 10 years.

00:16:20.140 So you're seeing the 23-year-old and you're 35

00:16:22.300 comparing yourself to them, it makes no sense.

00:16:24.640 There's entrepreneurial ages.

00:16:26.580 So I want you to remember this,

00:16:27.840 your only job is to compare yourself

00:16:29.960 to who you were yesterday and just ask yourself,

00:16:32.340 are you getting better?

00:16:33.280 Most people don't wanna be honest

00:16:34.560 because they'd rather just say,

00:16:35.920 oh, that person is better than me, smarter than me,

00:16:38.520 grew up in a better family, grew up in a better city,

00:16:40.920 they want to use all the reasons of comparison to give them an out for being the best version

00:16:46.900 themselves here's what i know nobody will ever be you you are the original the most unique and

00:16:52.320 awesome thing you could ever be is you and to compare yourself to somebody else in any way

00:16:57.160 shape or fashion is kind of silly you can use other people to be inspired you should be glad

00:17:02.360 for them you should praise them you should be like super happy like man that's amazing you're 23 and

00:17:06.780 you're driving that car and you have that house that's incredible because it should be proof that

00:17:10.580 it's possible, but for you to use that as a reason to beat yourself up and feel less than,

00:17:15.100 that's where it doesn't actually help. If you want to learn the 44 cheat codes I know at 44

00:17:19.640 that I wish I knew at 24, click the link and I'll see you on the other side.

Dan Martell - October 22, 2024

How to Get Your Sh＊t Together

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