Dan Martell - December 09, 2019


How to Stop Negative Thoughts Fast


Episode Stats

Length

12 minutes

Words per Minute

193.39052

Word Count

2,450

Sentence Count

144


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 Hey there, Dan Martell here, serial entrepreneur,
00:00:01.760 investor, and creator of SAS Academy.
00:00:03.600 In this episode, I want to share with you
00:00:05.560 how to get through the struggle of the challenges
00:00:08.520 you're dealing with in your business
00:00:09.720 without losing what you've built.
00:00:11.520 And be sure to stay at the end.
00:00:12.600 We're going to share with you how to get access
00:00:14.320 to my Dream 100 training.
00:00:16.960 It's the most powerful way I know
00:00:18.840 of designing the perfect network and relationships
00:00:22.920 that you're going to need to take your business
00:00:24.480 to the next level.
00:00:25.360 But let's get into it.
00:00:30.000 So the other day, I got a call from one of my coaching
00:00:41.820 clients, Carl, and he was about 70K in MRR.
00:00:46.520 And for the last few months, he was killing it.
00:00:48.600 Things were going good.
00:00:49.600 He's really pumped about his business.
00:00:51.240 He was hiring team members.
00:00:52.980 And all of a sudden, his lead salesperson quit on him.
00:00:56.980 And it got him into this funk, this funk of now
00:01:00.700 I got to get back into sales.
00:01:02.320 And I really hate doing that.
00:01:05.120 I thought I was making forward progress.
00:01:07.080 And why am I doing this business?
00:01:08.740 Why is it so hard?
00:01:10.380 And we talked about it for a little bit.
00:01:11.960 And all I did was share a few perspectives with him,
00:01:15.580 perspective around how he was showing up in his business,
00:01:18.640 asking him questions like, if the business was successful,
00:01:22.120 would you still be excited about it?
00:01:23.520 The answer was yes.
00:01:24.700 There's a bunch of different things
00:01:25.840 that I think when you're dealing with struggles
00:01:28.300 in your business, that a different perspective
00:01:31.420 will allow you to get an understanding that will make
00:01:35.760 it easier to move forward.
00:01:36.820 And that's what I do with Carl.
00:01:38.800 And within weeks, he changed.
00:01:41.060 He shifted his mindset, got back on to the business
00:01:44.600 he was building before he got kicked in the stomach,
00:01:47.200 and has now almost doubled his MRR only three months later
00:01:50.800 from where he was at.
00:01:52.160 And the reason why, and he shared this feedback with me,
00:01:54.760 That's why I wanted to do this.
00:01:56.160 This episode is a few key things that really connected
00:02:00.000 for him that allowed him to reframe the struggles
00:02:03.000 he was going through without throwing everything
00:02:05.140 he built out the window and go and doing something else.
00:02:07.620 So this is what I wanna share with you.
00:02:08.680 These three mindset shifts perspective
00:02:11.260 to help you get through your struggle.
00:02:13.540 Number one, battles versus wars.
00:02:16.440 So often when we're in the thick of things,
00:02:19.180 we don't realize that this is not the war that we're losing.
00:02:23.080 It's just a battle.
00:02:24.220 What I mean by this is that you might have somebody quit on you
00:02:27.460 and you might think like, man, this is a lot harder
00:02:29.660 than it has to be.
00:02:30.480 And you're ready to throw out the whole business
00:02:32.860 because of one incident.
00:02:34.420 And I think if we zoom up a level and get perspective
00:02:37.600 and realize that, hey, I'm winning at the war.
00:02:41.140 We're actually making some head grounds.
00:02:42.700 This is a great business.
00:02:43.780 Our customers are loving us.
00:02:45.160 And I just happened to lose a small battle.
00:02:48.140 Then all of a sudden, it doesn't make it so big.
00:02:50.560 We need to put things in context for actually how bad they are.
00:02:54.200 I mean, I think about the example of having a kid.
00:02:58.940 I don't know if you've ever had a baby,
00:03:00.260 but when you might love your child, you create a human.
00:03:05.760 It is pretty awesome.
00:03:07.380 But in the beginning, there are so many battles,
00:03:11.180 I mean, moments where they throw up all over themselves
00:03:14.180 if you're on a plane, or they have an incident in school,
00:03:18.300 or whatever it is.
00:03:19.160 But those are just little battles
00:03:21.920 throughout the journey that's going
00:03:23.840 to play a bigger part in the outcome
00:03:27.920 that you're trying to achieve, which
00:03:29.080 is take everything that you've learned,
00:03:31.700 every bad thing, every good thing, and kind of reframe it
00:03:34.340 and hopefully bring this person, your child,
00:03:38.520 into the world in a more prepared and more amazing way.
00:03:42.660 And that, to me, is the bigger picture.
00:03:45.140 And we would never stop being a parent because a thing happened
00:03:48.560 where we just felt frustrated in the moment.
00:03:50.680 We pick that up and work through it and kind of move forward.
00:03:53.780 And I think too often in our business,
00:03:55.840 because it's just not, we forget that perspective.
00:03:58.600 We're too quick to run away.
00:04:00.100 So think about that.
00:04:01.400 Are you truly losing the war or did you just lose a battle
00:04:05.140 and you have to get back in the game and keep moving forward?
00:04:07.660 And to me, I think of my kids.
00:04:09.240 It's like, of course, yes, there's a moment.
00:04:11.220 There's an issue.
00:04:12.100 I'm not giving up on them.
00:04:13.340 I'm showing up.
00:04:14.100 I'm going to be the best dad I possibly can.
00:04:16.440 And this is just a moment in the grand scheme of things
00:04:18.700 that we'll probably forget about.
00:04:19.900 Maybe, maybe he'll bring it up in therapy.
00:04:21.860 Who knows?
00:04:22.600 But at the end of the day, that's just
00:04:24.900 a little blip on the grand scheme of what we're after.
00:04:28.200 Embrace the struggle.
00:04:30.060 So one of the mindset shifts that I did for Carl
00:04:33.200 was sharing with him that I believe that the problems
00:04:39.700 don't get smaller, we just get better.
00:04:42.100 So this whole thing of becoming the person who can deal,
00:04:45.340 becoming the person who can deal with million dollar
00:04:47.880 problems.
00:04:48.880 Some of you guys are stuck at $10 problems.
00:04:50.540 $10 problem happens in your business,
00:04:51.680 you freak out and you go crazy, OK?
00:04:53.420 Some of you guys, it's 100, some of you, it's 1,000,
00:04:55.120 some of you, it's 10,000, 100,000, a million, 10 million,
00:04:57.760 100 million.
00:04:58.700 I don't know where you're at, but at the end of the day,
00:05:00.920 the more you grow businesses, you know, Richard Branson,
00:05:03.620 Elon Musk, et cetera, they're not getting easier to build.
00:05:08.000 They just become better.
00:05:09.820 One of my favorite kind of quotes
00:05:13.000 that my friend Jason Gaynor shared with me
00:05:14.640 is, no pressure, no diamonds, right?
00:05:17.320 No challenges, no great outcomes.
00:05:20.680 No frustrating moments, no opportunity to learn.
00:05:24.880 No pressure, no diamonds.
00:05:25.940 There's always a quick reset for me
00:05:27.580 that I shared with Carl that really helped him reset
00:05:29.420 his mindset.
00:05:30.580 And probably the most incredible example of this recently
00:05:34.000 is from a guy named Shawn Stevenson.
00:05:35.800 If you don't know who Shawn was, he recently passed away.
00:05:40.560 And it was a crazy event that essentially woke up
00:05:46.380 That morning, everything was great.
00:05:47.580 Fell off of his cherries.
00:05:49.320 Sean had a disease that caused him to not really grow.
00:05:52.620 He's about 3 foot 2 inches tall.
00:05:54.460 They called him the little giant.
00:05:56.100 And his mission in the world was to rid
00:05:58.260 the world of insecurities.
00:05:59.900 And I had the privilege of meeting him several times
00:06:03.480 as I was speaking at events.
00:06:05.100 He was there to connect and chat.
00:06:07.060 And he was, he had such, he shined his light so bright
00:06:11.160 that anybody that interacted with him
00:06:13.620 just felt this sense of belief that he had in you
00:06:17.520 and the way he showed up in his world
00:06:19.360 and the stories he shared.
00:06:21.600 And even when he fell off his chair and hit his head
00:06:26.160 and then had an injury and went to the hospital
00:06:28.640 and over an eight-hour period or whatever it was,
00:06:31.860 coming in and out of consciousness,
00:06:33.460 in one of those moments, he looked up to his wife
00:06:36.540 and to his best friend and said, this happened for me.
00:06:43.620 I can't even imagine how the belief systems that he has,
00:06:50.880 that even in that moment on your deathbed,
00:06:53.380 when you've done everything right
00:06:55.360 and an accident causes that kind of outcome,
00:06:59.320 and you can still have that perspective
00:07:01.600 that this happened for me, not to me.
00:07:04.520 That was his perspective.
00:07:05.560 And this is something he shared on stage
00:07:06.940 with his key messages.
00:07:08.640 That, and I saw the outpour of people
00:07:11.820 telling their version their story of how he had that impact on them and shifted that mindset
00:07:17.100 to me that is the most incredible example of embracing the struggle of shifting and saying hey
00:07:23.420 this thing that just didn't have this happened to me didn't happen against me this happened for me
00:07:29.100 this is an opportunity for me and i'm going to use this in my life he never once complained about
00:07:35.500 being in a chair or taking you know a lot of time to get dressed in the morning having a caretaker
00:07:40.860 you know support him as he traveled the world sean did more in his whole life than most people
00:07:45.420 will ever hope to accomplish and this is a guy that that struggled with the physical disability
00:07:51.580 that couldn't easily navigate our world and he showed up and he shined his light and his
00:07:56.140 perspective on life was just so beautiful that it's really hard for me to to coach sometimes
00:08:02.700 founders that are they're having too big of a pity party because in the grand scheme of thing it's
00:08:06.540 nothing.
00:08:07.500 And if we can reframe that and just say, hey,
00:08:09.860 this thing happened for me, not to me,
00:08:13.200 I think you're going to have such a different outlook
00:08:15.860 and a different approach to your day
00:08:17.240 that's going to make some of these battles
00:08:19.860 seem inconsequential and allow you
00:08:22.460 to get a higher perspective of why
00:08:24.100 we do this in the first place.
00:08:25.940 Number three, ask for help.
00:08:28.180 One of the most powerful things that you
00:08:30.440 can do when you're struggling, when
00:08:31.880 you're going through a tough time is just like my client Carl
00:08:34.780 it is reach out and ask for help.
00:08:37.160 Too often, I coach really high-performing founders.
00:08:40.120 And people are always posting in the Facebook group
00:08:42.500 questions around their marketing strategies
00:08:43.960 and their Facebook strategies and their product strategies
00:08:45.700 and their retention strategies and their leadership
00:08:47.700 and all that stuff.
00:08:48.360 And that's all great.
00:08:51.280 Because I have the most powerful playbooks and frameworks
00:08:53.680 to help them grow their software businesses.
00:08:55.940 But what's most important for me,
00:08:58.400 and I have to remind my clients this all the time,
00:09:00.720 is I need you to reach out to me when things are bad,
00:09:04.240 When your lead investor pulls out at the last minute.
00:09:06.460 When your co-founder CTO quits on you.
00:09:08.980 When your product, there's a bug in your product
00:09:11.620 that causes 30% of your clients to cancel on you.
00:09:15.820 Those are the moments that you want
00:09:18.880 somebody in your corner to be able to listen
00:09:22.480 around what's going on, get perspective of what
00:09:26.240 this really means in the grand scheme of things,
00:09:27.880 and help you go through the list of options
00:09:30.440 to execute and implement a strategy
00:09:32.980 to get you out of that hole.
00:09:34.660 And for me, I've felt always it's a privilege
00:09:38.260 when folks like Carl or my other clients reach out to me
00:09:40.780 to give them that perspective.
00:09:41.980 But even for myself, I have people in my life
00:09:45.280 that when I'm struggling, there's no question anymore.
00:09:49.520 When I'm up against something tough,
00:09:52.060 when something hits me in the side that I didn't expect,
00:09:54.820 I'm reaching out and saying, hey, here's what just happened.
00:09:57.460 You give them the data.
00:09:58.960 Here's what I think my options are, this, this, and this.
00:10:02.620 And here's the one that I think I'm going to lead with.
00:10:04.720 What do you think?
00:10:06.100 And I think that's the right way to approach it.
00:10:08.160 Too often, when people ask for help, they don't give.
00:10:10.580 They're like, man, I'm really bummed out.
00:10:11.880 What should I do?
00:10:13.300 That doesn't give anything.
00:10:15.580 Literally what I just said, this is what happened to me.
00:10:18.400 Here's how I'm feeling.
00:10:19.520 Here's what I think I can do.
00:10:20.860 Here's the thing that I'm going to lead with.
00:10:22.900 What do you think?
00:10:23.720 That's the proper way to ask for help
00:10:26.300 so that they have context.
00:10:27.720 If they need to double click and go deeper on a specific area,
00:10:30.520 they'll ask those questions.
00:10:31.740 But too often, people just suffer in silence.
00:10:35.920 And they suffer alone.
00:10:37.440 And they don't have the opportunity
00:10:40.620 to get perspective from somebody else.
00:10:42.840 Or worse, they feel like, I need to solve this first
00:10:45.180 before I kind of go out and reach out.
00:10:46.920 And that's a weird one.
00:10:47.640 It's like, I wanted to solve this.
00:10:48.840 I didn't want to bug you.
00:10:49.740 That's what I get from my coaching clients.
00:10:51.240 It's just like, why?
00:10:53.220 I'm here to help you when things are tough.
00:10:55.860 That's why I'm here.
00:10:57.720 I feel like I've gone through all of this.
00:11:00.300 I've grown my mindset, my beliefs.
00:11:02.880 I've had the success and the struggles
00:11:04.620 that I've had in my life so that I could show up
00:11:06.720 for you in those moments.
00:11:07.680 And people don't even ask for help.
00:11:09.480 So just make sure that you have the 2 AM friend,
00:11:14.260 as my friend Shaw calls it.
00:11:15.780 A 2 AM friend is somebody at 2 AM in the morning
00:11:17.920 when you can't sleep, when you're struggling,
00:11:19.800 you can pick up the phone and you know they'll answer.
00:11:22.180 That is a beautiful thing.
00:11:23.940 So quick recap, how to get through any struggle
00:11:26.420 without losing everything you built.
00:11:27.460 Three perspectives.
00:11:28.320 Number one, battles versus wars.
00:11:31.140 Number two, embracing the struggle.
00:11:33.940 And number three, ask for help.
00:11:36.660 As I mentioned at the beginning of this episode,
00:11:38.280 I want to share with you an exclusive resource
00:11:40.200 called my Dream 100.
00:11:41.860 This is something that I've used every business I've ever
00:11:44.500 started.
00:11:45.300 I sit down and I make the list of the 100 people
00:11:48.720 that I need to connect with over the next two to three years
00:11:51.660 to increase the probability of success in my business
00:11:54.760 and increase the growth ramp.
00:11:56.160 And there's three specific categories or types of people
00:11:59.920 that I go and do research around to add to the Dream 100
00:12:03.600 to make sure that I have the advisory team and the peer
00:12:08.100 networks and the mentors around me
00:12:09.700 to support me in achieving my dream.
00:12:11.900 So you can click the link below to download
00:12:13.500 that training for yourself.
00:12:15.720 But if you want to know how do you
00:12:17.460 build that group of people that you can turn to and ask
00:12:19.800 for help when things are tough, this is how you do it.
00:12:22.400 So Dream 100, click the link below and download that.
00:12:24.880 If you found this video helpful, please
00:12:27.100 lightly click the Subscribe button, like this video.
00:12:30.940 And if there's anybody you care about that you
00:12:32.440 feel this video could serve, feel free to share it
00:12:34.380 with them directly.
00:12:35.680 As per usual, I want to challenge you
00:12:37.360 to live a bigger life and a bigger business.
00:12:39.120 And I'll see you next Monday.