Meet My Wife - Renée Warren
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
191.99184
Summary
Dan Martell and his wife, Renee Warren, talk about how they met, how they first met, and how they became a couple. Dan and Renee share their love story and how it all started.
Transcript
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Well, I think of like Philip McKernan when we worked with him a few years ago and he has this
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metaphor about him climbing up the mountain and he's going towards his passion and his wife wasn't
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next to him and he was really trying to pull her up. She wasn't ready for it. And he finally let
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go to have her do her own thing to find her own purpose in her own journey. And when she discovered
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that for herself, whether or not he was already on the other side of the mountain, she was at
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least making progress and you know speaking to those and I speak to a lot
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of these people too that don't want to be on board with these rituals and
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routines and stuff that we do it doesn't work for everybody but if there's one
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thing that they can do to change the course of their relationship or
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parenting style do that if it's meeting every two weeks to discuss something do
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that if it's going on a retreat once a year to completely disconnected do that
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For those that don't know, you are my wife, my beautiful wife, my partner in crime.
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why don't you share our love journey, our story?
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Yeah, they want to know, like, how do you deal with me?
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There's the right one and the wrong one of how we met.
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Right, so we met on Twitter, and you approached me.
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And I reached out to you saying, hey, I want to pick your brain.
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interviewing entrepreneurs had no clue who Dan Martell was and you said sure
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so we I guess scheduled well you didn't see behind the scenes is me like
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clicking your photo on Twitter and then going to your Facebook and swiping going
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she wants to pick my brain heck yeah yeah yeah I didn't have the same you
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didn't know no you were just doing your job right mm-hmm so anyway this was
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In that time, my boyfriend at the time and I broke up,
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I like the story of when you first saw me coming down
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So in Toronto, there's a place called the Mars Center,
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And if you've ever been there before, it's beautiful.
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They have most of their events on the lower level.
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And so it's 8 a.m., like the thing is just kicking off.
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People are slowly starting to show up for registration.
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because you, I guess, we had scheduled time to meet.
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So anyway, I am registering and waiting for you to show up.
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And I happen to look up these really long set of escalators
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you were the only person on the escalator at this one time.
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and like I kind of knew what you looked like over Twitter,
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but really didn't know what you looked like in person.
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And so I'm sitting at the bottom of the escalator
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at these like beams of sunshine behind your back.
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And I realized in this moment how good looking you were
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I'm thinking maybe you had the same reaction too,
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So you get down to the level, and you're like, hey,
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I was like, hey, so do you want to connect now and chat?
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And you were like, well, no, you're probably really busy.
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And I'm like, well, my talk's not until this afternoon.
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Oh, this is so funny, because it's like, it's totally
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the hugest indication of the person that you are.
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So we eventually did sit down while we were chatting.
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And he's just got muffin crumbs stuck all over your shirt.
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Yeah, just trying to do too many things at once.
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So now people know you played hard to get at first.
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And then shortly after, you moved down to San Francisco.
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Now we have two incredible little boys, Max and Noah.
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So people are curious what it's like to live with me.
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Yeah, I feel like that's actually maybe the next book
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And what would the topic, what would be the title called?
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living with chaos yeah unpack that for people okay so okay i'm gonna premise this entire
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conversation with the fact that i know hands down that there's any entrepreneur in the world that
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inspires me the most it's you and every single day while it is so challenging to live with you
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i wouldn't be the person that i am or the entrepreneur i've ever been because um like
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because of you so um let's just remember that if this you know conversation goes sideways
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um well you're really you're in a way you're a scientist because you're always experimenting
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you're testing your own limits which by default kind of brings us myself and the boys into the
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equation as well like one day you decided that you're gonna do a triathlon and you didn't even
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know how to swim and so all of a sudden every morning and every evening you're
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biking and running and swimming and I'm holding down the fort because I believe
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like it's inspiring it's encouraging you're setting a great example for not
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only us but for your community so you're always doing crazy different things like
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one day or you know doing a 14 to 18 hour fast and all of a sudden now I have
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hide every single chocolate chip and cookie in the house and then the next week it's okay to have
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them um so living with you is it's fast paced it never stops it never slows down and there was
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when we first started dating and we didn't have like kids and houses and too much travel um we
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could do whatever we wanted and that to me was like kind of an appetizer to the rest of our life
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I didn't know so I figured you know once we have kids we'll settle down and we'll
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slow down which never happened it actually got faster what just for people
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to get a sense of our lives what was July walk them through July okay so June
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29th school was done we so this this past summer we packed up the kids and we
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went to Ontario rented a cottage with my family and then we're there for a week
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we did Toronto for a day then we went to Kelowna for two and a half days then we
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did Vancouver for a day then Galiana Island for five days came back home for
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two days and drove to Cape Breton for a weekend yeah most people do not know
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where Cape Breton is on this podcast so Cape Breton is like think the opposite
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corner of East Coast Vancouver yeah so it's the East Coast so we went from East
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Coast all the way to West Coast back to East Coast yeah and then from Cape
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And we were home for two hours, did a quick switch over,
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brought the kids to summer camp, dropped them off.
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Then we did a road trip that took us through New Brunswick
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You love the kids going to bed at the exact same time
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I have quickly gotten bored of the same thing over and over
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that might be starting their entrepreneurial journey
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approach being parents, approach our relationship.
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And kids definitely need routine and structure in their lives.
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But you had to go through the birthing process twice.
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apply business-like philosophies to our family life,
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which most people don't understand or appreciate that.
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Well, yes, it means spreadsheets and Gantt charts
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and working through your executive assistant to plan our lives.
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a good week or bad week based on how well we've done according to those values what are i know
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everybody's gonna ask in the comments below like what are those gcash yeah it just happened to
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work out that way yeah so the the words are growth uh community adventure spirituality and health
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yeah so those are core values yeah and they they can change but for the most part that kind of
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covers everything yeah um and so we work on that in spirituality we're like meditating every night
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with the kids health wise working out eating well and this isn't just you or
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just me it's the entire family yeah like the kids health the kids spirituality
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the kids community you're also an entrepreneur that's what I've always
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loved about you is you like to create very much a creator type and I think I
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can actually probably tell you the moment that I think I don't want to say
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maybe you fell in love with me but you were like super interested in me was
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when I was driving an old Corolla or whatever the car is my dad's car was
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your dad's okay we're driving from Toronto yeah and I was embarrassed by
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the fact that I had all of these stacks of success magazine CD interviews
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Darren Hardy yeah Darren Hardy John C Maxwell in my car and you saw them and
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I my face went beet red and I was thinking oh my god this guy's gonna
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think I'm an idiot and you was the opposite I was like blown away yeah
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Yeah, I didn't know you were into personal development.
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And I think we listened to those CDs the whole drive up.
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and I know what it is that I find so incredibly attractive.
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I mean, as a mother, you're just an incredible mother.
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Because I think women have a different approach than men.
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Biologically speaking, it's like when people say having kids
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is like having your heart run around outside your body,
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How do you balance that where you have a husband like me
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that's driven to be the best and most fullest expression
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of myself that I possibly with my time on Earth?
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And you also have dreams and goals that you want to achieve,
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but you also want to make sure that we're good parents
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Well, I think, and I'm not speaking for every woman,
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And as many people listening to this are entrepreneurs
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It's like it's a it's a child of theirs when your significant other understands that and appreciates that and makes everything else so much easier.
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I never questioned the talks you had to give or the nights you had to work or the mornings you had to get up early because I knew it was your passion.
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And by default, if you're happy, I'm happy and you're successful, then we're all successful.
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And so in setting those boundaries, though, too, it's like, OK, but what's in it for me?
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And when I was running my agency, you had the same thing for you.
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You said you go do what you had to do and you would watch the kids.
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Like, you never questioned having to be home with two kids under 11 months old when I was traveling.
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And so the boundaries was like, this is what I want to achieve in my life and I understand where you want to be.
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um but i don't i can't anticipate or expect or understand what it would be like to be with
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anybody else but um what are things that we have like because i mean i think we take a lot of this
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stuff for granted um the fact that we like sit down and talk at the end of the year planning
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the next year we both have our goals we review our goals quarterly blah blah blah like what are
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What are some of those habits, routines, rituals
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that you think other people would be curious about
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You give me a laundry list that you've been typing up all week.
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No, but I think it's a good, because a lot of relationships,
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So after two or three months of feeling resentful
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towards the other for something, the conversation
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have happened and it would have nipped that issue in the butt so we do it and yes we don't do it
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every week because we're traveling and things come up but when we do it afterwards we always feel
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better and things improve a little bit every single time um but what i wanted to say earlier
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and go back to the question you had about you know what it's like to live with you and how what like
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what do we do to succeed as a couple um there was an influential person who wrote on facebook
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the other day I'm not gonna say their name and they gave like 101 business
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tips and it was a pretty elaborate Facebook post and I thought it was
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brilliant however when he came to the parts in mentioning anything to do with
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relationship he said stuff like oh if if you know you're working 90 hours a week
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whatever on your business and your significant other doesn't appreciate
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that then end the relationship and it was very clear that the person needs to
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respect the entrepreneurs, everything without any boundaries. And I was like, wow, how can somebody
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who has done so well for themselves say something like that? And I realized they failed in all of
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their relationships. And it's because it had to be his way or the highway. And so when it comes to
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like the seasons of business, like now you're in a really good season, things are flowing for you,
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that's where you and I needed to have those boundaries.
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We needed to have those weekly conversations every single day.
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So for me, it's like, you know, I really like working.
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So like, you know, it was a conversation with like Renee,
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Then we can have our time together and go to bed.
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Like, when you say it like that, that I'm like, absolutely.
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Because I really want to accomplish this thing.
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and I had this call once with somebody that we both know,
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was, I'm going to go crush it for the next three years.
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Even I wouldn't accept that it would have went on more than
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Because if he needs to be working all that time.
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And I think a smart partner would understand that, too.
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So I think you have a lot of this stuff on your website.
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where they can go download all the checklists and stuff.
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Well, if you want to have an amazing partnership
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and be an amazing parent, you go to familyacademy.co.
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because people are like, oh, a couple goals or, you know,
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it's like, yeah, it's like we have challenges all the time.
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There's nothing people could be going through that we probably
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Well, I think the biggest thing that we've done as parents
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In us, in the things we read, like, well, I'll say,
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hey, I'm reading this really good marriage book.
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I don't have a choice, because she hits me if I don't do it.
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Yeah, so Family Academy, I work with female entrepreneurs
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by teaching them how to have a better relationship
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So all the stuff around our quarterly retreats,
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I think there's a lot of stuff that we do that's,
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and I don't know, like some people say to me, they're like,
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Why do you have to meet every week and have a strict agenda?
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I know, it sucked for me to think about that, too.
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But it's out of context, and we don't have the travel schedule.
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called the therapist rule, which kind of sucks,
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We're like, yeah, we kind of are over this, but.
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a really good therapist or partner is that if you look at the male and female brain it's very
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different yeah and your relationship yeah um but a good therapist will easily interpret what we're
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thinking and trying to say like i remember one time we were working with ours i was like all
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this stuff and she's like oh what you're trying to say is this this and this and then you were like
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oh yeah that makes sense now and i'm like why couldn't you just read my mind yeah why don't
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Good or bad, you should always be working on a professional.
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These are like having somebody external to your relationship,
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objectively look at the communication style and unbiased
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and just be like, hey, I think this is what's happening.
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And it's like, oh yeah, that's a really interesting perspective.
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the entrepreneurial drive and the guilt as a mother.
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Oh god, I just, I mean, I write a lot about this.
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even the idea of having somebody clean our house,
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No, it's my job, because I grew up in a household
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It's, you can't just be cured of your feelings of guilt.
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I work with my own therapist now that you don't go and see.
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just for me and she helps me identify why i feel so guilty about things like you'll tell me renee
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go for a massage get your nails done you know take a couple hours off one afternoon and just
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treat yourself sure i book it i do it and i'm sitting there and i'm thinking oh the things i
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could be doing that's more productive than getting my nails done so it's guilt and it still exists but
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when it comes to like relationships or parenting and the guilt that's connected between being with
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your family or working on your business again it comes down to the expectations and communication
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so like your friend saying oh i'm going to be hustling three years for this business and after
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that will be set it's like you don't know that it's not guaranteed but what is guaranteed is
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your family will be there if you're there for them and i actually wrote about this not that
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long ago it's like you could spend five years hustling to make your business succeed but you
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to make your family and your relationship succeed,
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You don't need to be working 80, 90 hours a week, every week
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feel like some people get addicted to the hustle.
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And their reasoning for doing it is for their family,
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but yet their family never asked them to do it.
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so that we can buy another home or another cool thing
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So you help these people for all your free content out there
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is you help them understand that it doesn't have to be this way.
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And here are the tools to get you out of this slump
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I love the idea of integrating because if you do it right,
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it's just, again, this, Renee, you call me the scientist,
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But you know, it's and everything's in the calendar,
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how do you design a day in a week or a month that in that day
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there's vacation, there's health, there's work stuff,
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My vacations look very much like my normal days.
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yeah Kelsey Ramsden recommended it it's great no oh and I wanted to say something about the hustle
00:25:57.660
oh so you and I most recently got a lot of clarity because you actively work and review
00:26:04.660
your vision board for the year and your five-year plan and admittedly I haven't been doing that
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lately and you've been just hounding me for my five-year plan whether or not it makes sense you
00:26:14.520
wanted to see something just need to know and I put one together and I used to create these plans
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with filters like what would my parents think what would dad Dan think who am I trying to impress
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as though I'm writing in my journal with the hopes of someone secretly finding it because I want them
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to know what I really think about them this one no filter I was like this is what Renee wants I
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don't care who's gonna disagree and I presented to you and you had a couple questions but every
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single day since that day you have been 100% better husband and partner because at least
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you understand me I just needed to know you needed to know yeah because I mean for me it was
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if I don't know like it's almost like the why if I don't know why I get up and I create to have
00:27:02.300
impact and create value because you're one of the most important people in my life if I don't know
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how that aligns with what you want then it's kind of like I don't feel like there's a purpose right
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And it's just so valuable, I think, for yourself and for everybody.
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Yeah, and I've seen you execute against it, which has been awesome.
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Going back to the mama guilt, you said it's hard to get over,
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What have I been talking about for the last seven years
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The other thing I love to do is CrossFit, working out.
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That's a non-negotiable for me, at least five days a week.
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um like i know it's not like this beautiful elaborate breakfast served in bed it's the same
00:28:13.780
thing every day every day is the same thing and you i wouldn't even like it in bed because you
00:28:17.380
know i don't like food i'm not allowed to eat in bed but yeah the point is the guilt yeah yeah it's
00:28:24.600
um the communications that we there's a lot of things too i have a really good friend who works
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on unconditioning so she coaches people to uncondition themselves about these feelings
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of guilt like well i should be cooking and cleaning and doing all the laundry and groceries
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because that's what women did for the last 5 000 years well yes and no there are more men doing
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that now as well so it's the unconditioning it's like not having such high expectations for yourself
00:28:52.740
quite frankly the worry that the time we spend worrying about those things you should should be
00:28:57.220
spend focusing on being a better parent being a better partner you know who cares about the dishes
00:29:02.020
i used to do the dishes like the moment a cup was dirty now i'm like once a day that's it that's
00:29:07.060
cool if i get to it i would do it once a week but that's just i know you would um it's the
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unconditioning and talking about it too like why do you feel guilty i know men feel guilty too it's
00:29:15.780
not just women yeah do i feel it's funny because i we were on vacation yeah we were on vacation
00:29:22.500
and i just feel like the i mean i i jokingly say it but i kind of believe them like the best dad
00:29:27.860
in the world just just because i grew up in such a different environment that i'm like winning
00:29:32.660
every day if i just show up and give my kid a hug and a kiss and like say you love them yeah and
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just like hey and you know what maybe that's a huge step for some of your listeners too for sure
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giving them a hug and a kiss yeah saying i love you i'm proud of you like some every day yeah and
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it's and um so it's kind of funny because like i'm thinking like man i'm i'm the best dad ever
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If I said you were, you wouldn't improve yourself.
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We're like, oh, we're doing stuff with our kids.
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Because technically, you do a lot more than I do, for sure.
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What do you think people would want to know from Renee,
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they're like, hey, I see the relationship you have.
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I hear about all the routines and rituals you guys do,
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Or I'm on this journey of personal development and growth,
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what's your thoughts around that yeah it's well I think of like Philip McKernan
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when we worked with him a few years ago and he has this metaphor about him
00:31:00.260
climbing up the mountain and he's going towards his passion and his wife wasn't
00:31:05.180
next to him and he was really trying to pull her up she wasn't ready for it and
00:31:08.720
he finally let go to have her do her own thing to find her own purpose in her
00:31:16.520
whether or not he was already on the other side of the mountain she was at
00:31:20.060
least making progress and you know speaking to those and I speak to a lot
00:31:25.280
of these people too that don't want to be on board with these rituals and
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routines and stuff that we do it doesn't work for everybody but if there's one
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thing that they can do to change the course of their relationship or
00:31:36.560
parenting style do that if it's meeting every two weeks to discuss something do
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that if it's going on a retreat once a year to completely disconnected do that
00:31:45.560
with each other yeah it's like we do it quarterly and we do weekly meetings yeah and for some that's
00:31:51.480
too much that's fine um but the communication and setting the boundaries is is huge like there's i
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know there's a lot of i don't want to classify all men but men that are hustlers and they're
00:32:01.640
entrepreneurs and their wives are like they have a job or a stay-at-home mom and they're like they
00:32:06.520
don't understand that passion and that hustle so they don't have a seemingly good relationship with
00:32:13.720
their significant other she needs to speak up and the husband or the partner needs to also be like
00:32:19.480
hey honey what do you want like you pushed me so hard for the five-year plan i didn't want to do it
00:32:24.040
i said you're not going to care or you're just going to push me to do something else
00:32:27.720
and i've presented it to you and ever since then you've just been like this is awesome you've been
00:32:31.960
completely relaxed and supportive about it maybe the woman needs to do that too
00:32:36.360
hmm and do you feel like if the other person isn't on that journey that there's a way to kind
00:32:46.200
of get them on there like what would your if somebody comes to you and says you know even as
00:32:51.400
a woman like i'm really driven and passionate about my business but my husband seems to be
00:32:56.200
playing video games and super lazy and well there's also enabling and you and i talk a lot about that
00:33:02.200
too um the thing about journeys though is most people aren't on the journey at the same time
00:33:09.000
and i think that couples need to understand and respect that and there's a difference too between
00:33:15.240
pushing someone and encouraging someone and there's a fine line like you've in my perspective
00:33:20.680
have pushed me pressured me to do a triathlon and i don't want to do it right but you might think no
00:33:25.960
no i'm encouraging her it's so it's and i push back saying no dan i feel the pressure so just
00:33:31.400
not going to do it you're like okay okay um but yeah and it's it's so unfortunate i see so many
00:33:38.120
intelligent amazing people that are just in a funk or it's a time of their life or something's
00:33:43.380
happening and they're not inspired they're not motivated and they don't want to hear it from
00:33:47.340
anybody else sometimes you just gotta let them go through it yeah it's interesting it's almost
00:33:51.240
like they could be out of sync like totally like their partner could be in this like you know hill
00:33:56.040
climb and they're in a bit of a funk and it's just it's it's a delicate balance like if somebody
00:34:01.760
were to ask me like hey are you pressuring Renee to do a triathlon I'd be like hell no I never once
00:34:06.820
said to it to anything I thought she'd be interested right like I've never I just the other
00:34:11.140
day you had my shoes yeah because because your friends all signed up and I was like I know if
00:34:16.480
you want to do it I got a bike and I'll lend you my bike and then you're like I don't like this
00:34:19.840
pressure and I was like oh got it I mean yeah because like my whole thing and um I sure I
00:34:24.760
I should share it more often is the whole idea of the lighthouse
00:34:29.620
Because my whole thing, and this is for relationships
00:34:32.740
or even if you have people in your family that aren't on board
00:34:35.680
and are criticizing you, is just be the best version of yourself.
00:34:39.440
I have control over what time I wake up, what I do with my day,
00:34:43.080
how I communicate, how I show up, you know what I mean?
00:34:48.700
And if that inspires somebody to do something, then great.
00:34:54.140
But I feel like that is a better use of someone's energy
00:34:58.700
than to try to kind of beat somebody over the head.
00:35:03.440
And you always say, I only help the people swimming
00:35:07.900
And it's hard, because you see this person you love,
00:35:12.500
And you're like, oh my god, I need to run in and save them.
00:35:22.060
maybe drag through the mud in order to learn something
00:35:24.760
to come out of it on the other side of being like,
00:35:31.560
And be ready for when they turn to you for advice.
00:35:41.640
it was like the first or second week I was there,
00:35:51.300
really don't like CrossFit she goes you know what the first two months suck but
00:35:54.600
after that it gets a lot better and there was something about the timing of
00:35:58.300
that and it was three months later I was doing a competition with her and so it
00:36:03.720
was the right time it was the right place from the right person I needed that
00:36:07.020
encouragement that person yeah big yeah yeah one of my my tricks nobody's asking
00:36:12.780
but I'll pretend they're asking question just like how do you support your
00:36:19.900
So one thing I've done, I'm not going to tell you when or how,
00:36:31.000
and sometimes you don't want that from me because you just
00:36:40.820
So if your wife, let's say your wife was absolutely
00:36:44.960
obese and really need to get her health in check
00:36:47.060
the doctors told her or the man or whatever um it's better for you to work with their friends
00:36:52.880
to kind of get them on board i think um just just easier yeah um it's a different it's a different
00:37:00.400
approach worth considering um why do you feel like you're such a driven mama like why why do
00:37:08.300
you wake up every day to produce content to help other female entrepreneurs to be a better mother
00:37:14.140
to be a better female entrepreneur like what where does that drive come from I wake up every
00:37:20.700
morning to you know your alarm clock but then I see you having your coffee and doing your gratitude
00:37:27.460
journal and meditating and you've been like incrementally becoming a better person every
00:37:32.080
single day because of your routine and I think wow I can do that too and I post on social media
00:37:40.960
and I write my blog posts and people say this has helped Renee and like even just one person
00:37:46.220
it's like wow it's crazy and like even the people that aren't necessarily entrepreneurs don't even
00:37:53.760
have kids that are downloading my content and doing their couples retreats and they're saying
00:37:57.780
you've saved my relationship I'm not a therapist I'm not a licensed professional I am just living
00:38:04.380
proof that you can have kids and you can get married and you can launch two businesses like
00:38:09.680
maybe some people don't know that we had two babies moved twice launched two businesses in two years
00:38:15.260
most people do that in a lifetime yeah and we managed to survive now ask me details about that
00:38:20.900
time in my life and it's yeah and I would recommend it to anybody somebody told us to calm down but
00:38:26.260
the the motivation every day it's and most recently it's been like I'm an asset and I have
00:38:33.900
talent and if this can motivate even one female entrepreneur or one female to
00:38:39.920
start a business or to take the next step or for an entrepreneur couple to
00:38:44.360
like decide they want to have kids because they know they can balance now
00:38:47.760
their business or family and the amount of entrepreneurs that have reached out
00:38:51.540
we did the the integrated family video and people reaching out because they
00:38:58.220
didn't even think it was right for them to have kids based on the way they
00:39:02.580
wanted to drive in their business they just felt like I'm too committed to my
00:39:06.900
business and I don't have the space for it they have now revisited that belief
00:39:11.160
it's pretty crazy I didn't even know that was a thing yeah there's no right
00:39:14.940
time to have a kid there's not and when and then when you think there is and
00:39:18.660
something else happens and if you're an entrepreneur you'll you'll fill that
00:39:21.420
void with something else yeah for sure you will but why do you think that's like
00:39:28.180
I get the motivation, but what is it about that that you enjoy?
00:39:50.820
And there's not enough people encouraging women
00:39:54.660
And so I wake up to do that, to encourage women
00:40:13.800
more female entrepreneurs and more female power.
00:40:21.160
that you think might be useful to other entrepreneurial families.
00:40:27.500
They wake you up every single day, a little human.
00:40:33.320
Yeah, just about like, I think that entrepreneurs,
00:40:43.160
Because obviously, the life that my kids are experiencing
00:40:55.960
So it's like 50 flights in the first year of birth
00:41:03.400
But it's just like, that's the question I struggle with.
00:41:06.980
But what are things that you think about as it pertains
00:41:17.260
you take for granted that people would probably really
00:41:22.820
Having kids, first of all, makes you hyper-focused
00:41:26.820
Because before you had kids, you had 24 hours in a day
00:41:32.960
But as soon as you have kids, now all of a sudden there's
00:41:34.800
routine, and they're waking up at a certain time,
00:41:38.720
and then they have hockey or swimming, and school's out.
00:41:44.360
that are your time to work, and you better get the shit you
00:41:48.100
Because once the kids get home, if you're a present parent,
00:41:50.600
you are going to give some of that time to your kids as well.
00:41:54.420
And so it allows you to be a little more organized.
00:42:01.660
Well, just like the things you've learned about,
00:42:05.680
like either discipline or education or there's so,
00:42:11.300
I mean, that's the thing is that you do so much,
00:42:17.580
i'm reading because i used to read just marketing and sales and pr books and i loved it but now it's
00:42:22.860
just like understanding actually so in the whole parenting thing what i've learned that is the most
00:42:30.940
important thing in being a good parent is for the parents to be working on themselves more than
00:42:36.220
anything else you can't fix a child and just like the quote on our chalkboard right there says is
00:42:42.460
you can't fix a flower something you can read it i can read it yeah when the flower doesn't bloom
00:42:49.820
you change the environment not the flower not the flower right so when the flower doesn't bloom you
00:42:56.220
changed its environment not the flowers most times there's nothing wrong with the child
00:43:00.860
there's wrong it's wrong with the the environment and so mom and dad like kids can absorb energies
00:43:06.380
like you wouldn't believe so if you're pissed off they're gonna be pissed off even though they were
00:43:09.820
happy two seconds before the parents and the individuals having good relationships with
00:43:16.620
themselves is the most important thing in parenting and i didn't realize this till a
00:43:20.940
few months ago when i started working on myself because i always thought oh my gosh you know one
00:43:24.700
of our kids is so aggressive and hates changes and what's wrong with him i realized there's nothing
00:43:31.980
wrong with him as what's wrong is how i'm reacting to how he's reacting and that translates to
00:43:39.020
business like managing people managing teams it's like it's not them it's you're the leader like
00:43:44.780
you got to work on yourself and deal with those things like you would a child almost yeah mark
00:43:50.380
mark albert on the show he recently said something that he used to be upset with his team when they
00:43:56.140
weren't performing and now he asks himself what environment did i create that got them to make
00:44:00.460
that decision right and then then it's cool because you have 100 control over you can't
00:44:18.140
Well, we're fortunate enough to live in a great community that
00:44:27.740
It didn't work with the fact that you and I both worked from home.
00:44:34.660
great but for us it was you know our public school system is fantastic um and you've said this before
00:44:41.620
i don't know if you quoted anybody but uh every child is homeschooled it's just up to the parents
00:44:47.620
to realize it that's just something i realized myself but it's true and every kid's homeschooled
00:44:53.460
is just do the parents actively homeschool right or just do they do they're proactive or reactive
00:44:59.220
well that's the thing is the moment you recognize that every moment you're with your child or even
00:45:19.800
and he can read it better than the French book.
00:45:27.180
And so it's like, wow, the fact that he's being formally
00:45:29.560
educated in another language, but understands this language
00:45:32.060
a little bit better is because we are unconsciously educating
00:45:41.540
You sat down with Noah and helped him with his muffin
00:45:45.020
business that he sold at the triathlon and made
00:45:48.740
But it is so interesting how these little minds,
00:45:52.400
like for instance, so Dan did a triathlon the other weekend,
00:46:01.700
So we had to teach him that you have to put money in it.
00:46:05.520
So he wanted to make money to buy more Pokemon cards.
00:46:16.280
and about how he has to pay me for my time for helping him.
00:46:32.200
Yeah, I was like, OK, so she gave you a bro deal.
00:46:46.260
I don't think you're going to sell them for that.
00:46:50.000
And I was like, let's bring it down a little bit, so $2.
00:46:59.500
But so anyways, going back to what we're talking about,
00:47:17.100
I think that's why people are, they stay in the rut
00:47:20.240
that they're in, because they don't try something new.
00:47:32.560
like they're in a rut, they're stuck, they're not, you know,
00:47:37.840
they potentially could be going through a minor depression
00:47:48.580
need to be met if they aren't proper hydration, proper sleep,
00:47:55.160
If those things are being met and still in the funk
00:48:00.860
then obviously go see a professional therapist,
00:48:05.720
want to unpack it because I feel like people say, oh,
00:48:09.000
You're talking like wake up, drink water, drink water,
00:48:13.460
drink maybe a gallon of water a day kind of thing.
00:48:27.100
You know my best friend, he says, I eat healthy.
00:48:31.360
So I'm just, I think it's important to actually spell it
00:48:42.040
So well, I use my iWatch, and I have the iSleep app
00:48:53.040
But I know this, the moment you start tracking your sleep,
00:48:57.480
you actually focus more on getting a good night's sleep.
00:48:59.880
My routine for my good night's sleep starts at lunchtime.
00:49:04.640
I know you wear the blue blocking light glasses.
00:49:06.420
Yeah, and it's tweaking, because what works for me
00:49:10.160
isn't going to necessarily work for some other people.
00:49:16.240
And then the exercise, what's your prescription for that?
00:49:26.040
So that's what I'm saying is if we don't tell people,
00:49:31.760
and you do it a few times a week, and then you bike and swim.
00:49:40.080
Who did you need to become to be the mother, partner,
00:49:48.480
So I had a very clear life's plan when I was 18 years old that I wrote down and I said, this is what I want for my life.
00:49:56.340
The problem is that once I achieved that, so it was like married, two and a half kids, a white picket fence,
00:50:03.180
which is pretty much like a metaphor for this beautiful home and running a successful agency in New York City.
00:50:11.680
Once I achieved that, I failed to rewrite that plan because we think we write this plan once that we're good.
00:50:18.480
we're set we don't have to revisit it and that's what I hesitated in running
00:50:23.400
my five-year plan thinking oh gosh this is set in stone I can't change this which
00:50:27.060
is it's not true I needed to become the person that was okay with chaos and and
00:50:34.800
super okay with uncertainty it's just like I mean when you show up to the
00:50:40.360
airport I used to travel once a year and now I go almost once every other week
00:50:44.580
because I didn't like the hustle and bustle but being okay with uncertainty
00:50:49.260
allowed me to be a better entrepreneur to be a better mom because like when
00:50:53.080
you're a parent I mean really like that there's no manual and things are not
00:50:56.940
gonna be what you expect at all your kids could be born super healthy and
00:51:00.480
then have like a learning disability or something happen it's not in your life's
00:51:04.080
plan if you're not okay with that uncertainty then you will just
00:51:20.040
that you share with the world, because you're way more clever
00:51:22.740
than I am on Instagram, more creative, where would people go?
00:51:27.680
So you can go to Instagram, Renee, R-E-N-E-E underscore
00:51:43.960
It's pretty much like the month before we got married,
00:52:00.380
And I just, maybe someday I'll change it, but Renee Warren.
00:52:08.140
Yeah, so Renee underscore warm and familyacademy.co
00:52:20.260
And now you guys got the behind the scenes of what it's like.
00:52:32.140
If you guys want to hear that, leave a comment below.
00:52:42.140
Thanks for watching this episode of Escape Velocity.
00:52:45.240
Be sure to like and subscribe and leave a comment
00:52:48.120
with your biggest insight from our conversation.