Dan Martell - May 21, 2018


THE INTEGRATED LIFE ｜ Dan Martell Original (Micro-Doc)


Episode Stats


Length

7 minutes

Words per minute

142.5069

Word count

1,085

Sentence count

54


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, my wife and I talk about the importance of an integrated life, how to balance work and family life, and what it means to be a good parent. We also talk about how important it is to give our kids the tools and support they need in order to grow up to be the best adults they can be.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 I still remember the moment that Renee told me that she was pregnant. There was a sense of
00:00:11.760 excitement. I always wanted to be a father and then there was this huge sense of fear
00:00:19.060 because I didn't want to repeat some of the elements of my childhood that didn't serve me.
00:00:26.640 I didn't want to be a father that was always on the road and I didn't want to be disconnected emotionally, have alcoholism around my kids.
00:00:36.380 You know, if you've come from a challenging environment like I have, one of the most beautiful things is being the generation to stop that behavior.
00:00:43.640 behavior. I think the most incredible thing you can do is break a pattern that didn't
00:00:53.520 serve your family or yourself from being kind of propagated forward.
00:00:58.400 Okay, hit the button.
00:01:03.400 There you go.
00:01:06.400 All right, what's to do to eat?
00:01:09.400 Do you want a snack?
00:01:11.400 Yeah?
00:01:12.400 Okay.
00:01:13.400 How about you grab the snack and then we'll go sit on the couch, okay?
00:01:17.400 I know a lot of high-performing entrepreneurs, they're committed to not only their family
00:01:37.840 and to their work, but also their personal health and their hobbies and their friendships.
00:01:40.980 And the only way to get all those things in balance is creating a schedule and designing not only our day, our week, and our month, but really the year between Renee and I.
00:01:52.160 I have a hard time when people say, well, it's not easy, you know, having your health in check, your relationship with your partner, your kids, and your business continue to thrive.
00:02:02.220 I love you.
00:02:03.220 I love you.
00:02:04.340 Yes, it's not easy.
00:02:05.680 But is it doable?
00:02:06.960 100%.
00:02:07.480 Is it something you can aspire to?
00:02:08.900 100%.
00:02:09.520 I don't accept people that say,
00:02:12.020 well, sometimes you need to put those things
00:02:13.700 on the back burner.
00:02:15.000 You know, I feel my muscle.
00:02:17.720 Whoa, calm down.
00:02:19.960 Calm down, it's too big.
00:02:22.480 And what I decided is take that belief,
00:02:25.100 wrap it up, throw it out the window
00:02:26.340 because it's not a good one.
00:02:27.440 It actually is not true.
00:02:28.780 And then ask myself,
00:02:30.320 what would the integrated life look like?
00:02:33.320 Can it work?
00:02:34.040 And the answer is absolutely.
00:02:35.580 having a partner that's on the same page with you is everything if renee wasn't on board with that
00:02:47.860 vision if we didn't co-create that vision together that would be like pushing a 10 000 pound boulder
00:02:54.060 up a mountain it would be almost impossible i think it's to create this environment for
00:03:01.900 our boys to to learn and to know that they're loved and respected and to teach
00:03:06.620 them the values of serving other people. It requires Dan, it requires myself being
00:03:13.220 happy and healthy and us connecting and having great relationships with the boys.
00:03:16.780 Can I get the strawberries out of the freezer?
00:03:20.540 Yep, I need to check.
00:03:22.540 Okay, now you have to open this and go like this and tear it open as hard as you can.
00:03:28.460 I would also say that we have some very unique approaches to letting them struggle.
00:03:36.560 There's actually parents out there that literally do everything for their five-year-olds.
00:03:42.620 And it's hard, especially as a mother, it's hard to let go of these things,
00:03:46.840 like filling up their own water bottles from the water thing on the fridge,
00:03:50.460 or filling up their own, you know, cereal bowls, but you have to let go.
00:03:55.500 Ah, ew, disgusting.
00:03:58.460 Yummy. It makes it green.
00:04:02.460 What does it imply?
00:04:04.460 Right, so guys, why are you putting your headphones on?
00:04:06.460 Because we can't hear it.
00:04:09.460 Oh, so it's less loud? Okay.
00:04:11.460 You know, I believe that every kid is homeschooled,
00:04:13.460 and the only difference is do the parents know it or not.
00:04:18.460 It's like the best homeschooling is done whether or not you choose for it to happen.
00:04:28.460 The only thing your kids want is for mom and dad to be happy like that's it number one thing yes
00:04:48.280 they want toys at Christmas and they want vacations and they want to go play you know hockey or
00:04:52.720 whatever it is but truth is at their core they just want to see mom and dad happy so if you
00:04:56.580 don't prioritize that and you tell me that you the most important thing in your life is your kids
00:05:01.520 then there's a disconnect there. They're watching and you can say you should do this and you should
00:05:07.400 do that but they're paying attention to what we're doing. Renee and I's priority is that we need to
00:05:18.060 be good if we want to be good for the kids. I know that she's my number one priority and if we're
00:05:23.840 good, then the kids are good. And if the kids are good, then we're all good.
00:05:36.680 I'll be the first one to admit that we don't have a perfect life. And I don't want to.
00:05:43.800 It's just, you know what we have? We have a desire to want to make things better.
00:05:48.820 we have a want to make sure that the other person feels seen cared for and I think that we've
00:05:58.680 instrumented the structure to allow us to ensure that things can't get bad for too long without us
00:06:05.740 being aware of it we have a playbook for our family we use that as guidance we kind of look
00:06:14.300 at what do we want to stand for? What are our values? How do we, how do we want to show up in
00:06:19.060 our community as a family? And I really believe that it's in every family, an entrepreneurial
00:06:26.480 family or not, to integrate their life in a way that you can bring a level of joy and excitement
00:06:33.620 and passion and presence for your kids, for your partner, that maybe you've never experienced
00:06:40.160 before. That possibility is the why that drives me on a daily and weekly basis to keep pushing
00:06:46.500 things forward. And it will always be my default approach to ask myself, does this still serve us?
00:06:56.260 We just try to look at it from an integrated family point of view. How do we
00:06:59.840 get everything we want to work? And if you look at it that way, it's actually not that hard. It's
00:07:04.820 just most people never take the time to just design it.
00:07:14.300 I don't take today for granted,
00:07:16.500 and I want to make sure that every minute of today
00:07:19.820 was planned in a way to add as much as I can
00:07:23.660 to the people around me that I care the most about.
00:07:34.820 Bye, bye, bye.