Dan Martell - April 03, 2023


Your Friends Are Holding You Back…

Hosted by
Dan Martell
Mentioned
Dale Carnegie Jason Gaynard Justin Bieber Phil Knight Mark Cuban Ed Milet Tim Cook Kelowna Network
How To Attract Better Friends 🧲 The Billionaire Success Formula 🔥

Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

197.52

Word count

2,382

Sentence count

58

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about the importance of creating a positive environment in your life and how to leverage the power of positivity in your environment to propel you to new levels of success. If you had the most positive attitude and you're standing in a freezer, there's no amount of positive mental attitude that will warm you up. And your internal thermostat is gonna be set by your environment, that thermostats of life, of what you think you're worthy of, what you're capable of, and what you believe in.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.080 Most people failing think it's a willpower problem.
00:00:03.220 It's they're depleted and I feel like I just don't have any willpower
00:00:06.280 and I do good for three days and then I stop.
00:00:08.440 And I'm telling you, it's not that, it is environment.
00:00:11.660 Your space, the people, the beliefs, the knowledge, the information
00:00:15.540 that you're surrounding yourself is the number one factor stopping you.
00:00:19.760 Here's proof.
00:00:20.600 If you had the most positive attitude and you're standing in a freezer,
00:00:25.320 there's no amount of positive mental attitude that will warm you up.
00:00:30.000 And your internal thermostat is gonna be set
00:00:33.100 by your environment, that thermostat of life,
00:00:36.520 of what you think you're worthy of,
00:00:38.540 what you're capable of.
00:00:39.940 You need to change your environment
00:00:41.660 to heat your thermostat to another level
00:00:44.760 to make your old high the new low
00:00:46.600 to play a bigger game by just the people,
00:00:49.100 the beliefs and the mindset that you have.
00:00:51.160 I know everything in my life from exiting my companies
00:00:54.340 to raising money from Mark Cuban
00:00:56.060 to moving to Kelowna as a family.
00:00:58.400 All of those were byproducts of being around people,
00:01:02.940 the environment, the spaces
00:01:05.100 to expand the possibilities and horizons.
00:01:08.660 And I wanna share with you three specific strategies
00:01:10.600 that's gonna help you bring that into your life even faster.
00:01:16.620 The first thing you gotta do is what I call a friendventory.
00:01:20.380 A friendventory is asking yourself,
00:01:22.580 of the people you interact with,
00:01:24.620 who are the people that are pulling you down that every time you talk to them they're like
00:01:30.980 questioning what are you doing with that and do you really think that that's something you could
00:01:35.260 do and like have you ever concerned yourself about this problem or they're always telling
00:01:39.140 you all the reasons it won't work they're folks in your life and they could be family members and
00:01:44.640 you can love them and those are all cool things i'm not telling you that you need to go find a
00:01:49.420 new family i'm just saying that you got to do a friendventory and figure out who's pulling you
00:01:53.660 down and ask yourself who are the people that are pushing you up that are that are that are talking
00:02:00.300 into you positivity impossibility of what they see in you that you don't even see in yourself that is
00:02:07.020 one of the most powerful gifts that every human has if they choose is the power of belief in
00:02:12.220 somebody else it's why i do these videos is because i want to breathe into you your greatness your
00:02:18.860 power your capability of what you can achieve in life and be that positive resource the thing is
00:02:24.380 that i'm not going to be around for all the conversations and you're going to go around and
00:02:28.700 you're going to interact with people and you've probably heard that you're the average of the
00:02:31.740 five people you spend the most time with i want you to be a little bit more deliberate about those
00:02:37.100 folks that you allow into your world you know in our home when you come in there's a sign that says
00:02:41.740 you're responsible for the energy you pull into our room because i know that even if i am friends
00:02:47.580 with somebody that normally is positive and supportive and talks about opportunity etc
00:02:53.580 every once in a while they can be in a bad mood they might have got cut off on their way over to
00:02:57.260 my house they may have had a tough conversation with team member and it's not that obviously i
00:03:01.500 don't want to be empathetic and supportive of the person but i do not want them to come in here and
00:03:05.820 think that they can just dump on me my family or even worse my kids because they're having a moment
00:03:13.340 So it's very important that you consider making that list
00:03:17.240 of people that are taking from you,
00:03:19.640 those that are adding to you, and that might be zero.
00:03:21.780 You might do that list and go,
00:03:22.900 I don't have anybody like that in my life.
00:03:24.400 And that is your opportunity.
00:03:25.820 Your opportunity is this, say no to the people
00:03:29.700 that are keep asking you to do stuff, barbecues,
00:03:32.240 weekends, parties, et cetera, that are taking energy
00:03:34.620 from you so you can create the space
00:03:36.560 to then finally find the folks that are positive.
00:03:39.940 These are people in like running rooms, nonprofits,
00:03:42.140 your church, CrossFit gyms, wherever it is,
00:03:44.120 and ask of them, hey, what are you doing on Saturday night?
00:03:47.580 What are you doing Thursday afternoon?
00:03:49.100 Start creating space in your life
00:03:52.080 for the people that could bring positivity and support
00:03:55.340 and breathe into you your potential
00:03:58.620 because it is huge.
00:03:59.700 It's bigger than you can imagine.
00:04:01.120 I believe that in my soul
00:04:02.220 because I believe that for every person.
00:04:04.140 So start with a friendventory.
00:04:05.820 The second thing to amplify your environment
00:04:08.280 is your beliefs.
00:04:09.260 And the way to pump up your beliefs is through books.
00:04:11.640 I wanna share with you four specific books
00:04:13.920 that will allow you to build that network,
00:04:17.420 build that environment, build those relationships
00:04:20.000 that are gonna take your personal network,
00:04:23.040 your room and amplify it
00:04:25.720 so that you have those people in your life
00:04:27.980 now that you created some space,
00:04:29.180 do it in a friend inventory.
00:04:30.480 Number one is called Mastermind Dinners
00:04:32.700 by my good friend, Jason Gaynard.
00:04:34.820 Super fun story.
00:04:36.020 When he was considering writing the book,
00:04:38.760 I actually had written this ebook about hosting founders' dinners
00:04:42.840 because him and I actually met through hosting people for meals.
00:04:47.420 I eventually spoke at his event, Mastermind Talks.
00:04:50.240 And I was just so passionate about him
00:04:52.800 because he was doing dinners on another level.
00:04:55.400 Literally 25 people, custom menus, all this stuff, curating, facilitating.
00:05:01.400 He even had question cards and prompts at the table.
00:05:04.300 He took things to another level.
00:05:05.840 so he wrote a book and it's called mastermind dinners and it is one of my favorite books on
00:05:11.520 the topic so if you want to be inspired and overcome some beliefs to get you to host your
00:05:16.720 first dinner with let's just start with three other people so you would make four you want to 0.95
00:05:22.880 read that book the second most important book is never eat alone by keith ferrazzi i mean read it
00:05:28.640 like probably 15 years ago and not only has keith become somebody i consider a friend i actually
00:05:35.200 went and spent time with him and saw him execute the stuff in his book he literally talks about
00:05:42.020 all these different strategies he does with like two cell phones and inviting people to work out
00:05:46.620 literally that was what happened i was like hey i'm going to la i love to meet in person
00:05:50.580 invited me for a workout then we went to brunch afterwards at his favorite spot and then he
00:05:55.080 invited other people to the brunch for me to meet them to to kind of like increase my experience but
00:06:00.960 also for them to meet me and me to meet that it's just crazy how he did that so highly recommend
00:06:06.240 never eat alone the third one is the bible for all of this it's how to win friends and influence
00:06:11.320 people by dale carnegie and i have this funny story about the book because one day i had a
00:06:15.760 team member coming over to my house right before she was flying out and she had her uh luggage her
00:06:20.820 carry-on and then this uh binder because she was taking this you know uh dale carnegie course and
00:06:26.400 it's all about like, you know, going to events and remember people's names, right? Like the big part
00:06:31.000 of like asking somebody's name and remember it and try to, you know, different techniques and
00:06:35.160 strategies. And my father-in-law sees her, looks at the, the coursing and just says to her, it was,
00:06:40.500 ah, that, that, that training, I took that a long time ago. Never forgot a person's name that,
00:06:46.180 that Dave Carnegie, that's great stuff. And she kind of looks at him and goes, don't you mean
00:06:51.080 Dale Carnegie? And he just looks back at her and smiles because he knew he missed it. He was
00:06:56.180 joking and she she bought into it hook line and sinker so if you haven't read
00:07:01.340 the book go get that one the fourth one is a new book that just came out by a
00:07:05.960 guy named Joe polish he's the founder of genius Network arguably one of the most
00:07:10.040 connected people alive today and his book is what's in it for them and I
00:07:15.360 really love the strategies in it that talks about creating value so all the
00:07:20.300 other books have different approaches to kind of like the different areas of
00:07:23.420 building a network and really building the belief
00:07:26.060 that you are valuable as a person
00:07:28.240 and you should wanna share that with the world.
00:07:30.980 But Joe goes into the specifics
00:07:33.820 of not only trying to identify people
00:07:35.880 that you wanna stay away from,
00:07:36.840 but also how to create value in very unique
00:07:39.320 and non-obvious ways that I think all of you guys
00:07:41.840 would really enjoy.
00:07:43.280 So if you're looking for tactical mindset,
00:07:47.480 specific books to help you build your personal network,
00:07:50.120 to grow the belief, to increase the environment
00:07:53.380 that you find yourself around people
00:07:55.240 and dinners and workouts and all this stuff,
00:07:57.660 go check out those four books.
00:07:58.780 It will transform your life.
00:08:00.560 Number three is better rooms.
00:08:02.760 Here's what I mean by that.
00:08:04.300 It doesn't matter where you're at in your business.
00:08:07.120 If you're starting off
00:08:08.900 and you haven't gotten to 100,000 yet,
00:08:11.420 there's a room for people that are 100,000.
00:08:14.700 And the key is when you get to that upper level
00:08:17.500 of your room is to go find the new room.
00:08:20.780 go find the 100,000 to million dollar room.
00:08:24.240 And then once you get there,
00:08:25.240 go find the million to the $5 million room
00:08:27.840 and the 5 million to the 10 million, the 10 to the 25.
00:08:30.760 What I'm saying is if you are in a place
00:08:33.940 where you have a network and you're part of a group,
00:08:36.940 but you're on the upper end of that group,
00:08:39.200 you literally gotta go find the next one
00:08:41.240 where you come into the room
00:08:42.980 and you feel like the small person.
00:08:44.920 You feel that imposter syndrome that you once felt.
00:08:48.140 Because what'll happen sometimes is you'll actually go from like, I don't have a lot
00:08:53.020 of strong relationships to I now have some and I feel good about it and I know how to
00:08:58.240 add value and it's safe.
00:08:59.620 But I'm telling you, being safe when it comes to increasing your environment is not how
00:09:03.400 you grow.
00:09:04.240 You want to push yourself to find that next level room.
00:09:08.260 It's kind of like if you're the smartest person on your street, move to another street.
00:09:12.620 Go find that next level neighborhood that is going to make you feel uncomfortable.
00:09:16.760 that's going to push you,
00:09:17.740 that's going to get you around people
00:09:19.780 that are operating at a higher thermostat level
00:09:22.520 that you just can't even imagine the thinking.
00:09:25.500 You know, one of my coaches and mentors,
00:09:28.080 this guy named Ed Milet,
00:09:29.080 he literally bought a house,
00:09:31.020 initially just a piece of land
00:09:32.440 in this place called the Madison Club,
00:09:34.380 which is one of the most elite neighborhood
00:09:37.680 golf memberships to be part of.
00:09:39.700 I mean, Tim Cook, Phil Knight,
00:09:41.620 Justin Bieber is his neighbors.
00:09:43.380 And just being there at his home,
00:09:46.560 which is just spectacular but understanding that as a young man in business he made the conscious
00:09:54.020 decision to move into that neighborhood to up level his environment to be exposed to different
00:10:01.140 ideas that were going to inspire him to play a bigger game and that was part of a very strategic
00:10:07.220 and thoughtful decision that's what this strategy is about getting into a better room is get around
00:10:12.960 those mentors those people advisors the um the mastermind groups that are going to push you my
00:10:19.200 buddy matt reached out to me recently they're doing incredible in their business 35 million
00:10:23.440 going to 100 million asking me like where's my next room and here's the reality you need to build
00:10:29.680 it sometimes sometimes there is no existing room that's really built or you're not aware of it and
00:10:36.000 it's okay to sit down and say okay i want to build my own you know napoleon hill talked about this
00:10:40.560 and think and grow rich design your mastermind identify people that are 16 months two years
00:10:45.840 ahead of where you're at and reach out to them and pull them forward and try to create value in their
00:10:50.160 life so that you can build a different room and you can do it online digital and just meet once
00:10:54.640 a month you can do it in person a few times a year one of my buddies brad they uh they have
00:10:59.440 a mastermind with about 12 guys and every quarter one of the members hosts other members in their
00:11:04.480 city and they cover all the costs and that's that is the rhythm and they've been doing it now for
00:11:09.680 five six years and it is he'll say one of the most valuable things that he invests his time and energy
00:11:14.400 in to really up level to find a better room so that is my challenge to you is how can you invest
00:11:22.320 in your network in your relationships to be the small guy in your room your metaphoric city room
00:11:29.600 the mental room you've created for yourself or physically around the people that are in a room
00:11:35.440 to make you feel like there is another level for you to strive for so if you've been struggling
00:11:39.680 with willpower realize now it's environment and it's time to up level your environment now i know
00:11:45.200 i mentioned a few books but if you want to get my top business books all of the best books i've
00:11:50.560 read over 1500 books and i've distilled them down initially for my young cousin who's starting a
00:11:55.280 business and he said what book should i start with i put them together you can click the link below
00:11:59.680 to download your copy.
00:12:01.240 Hope this video finds you awesome
00:12:02.560 and I'll see you next week.