Dan Martell - April 03, 2023


Your Friends Are Holding You Backā€¦


Episode Stats

Length

12 minutes

Words per Minute

197.5179

Word Count

2,382

Sentence Count

58

Misogynist Sentences

1


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
00:00:00.080 Most people failing think it's a willpower problem.
00:00:03.220 It's they're depleted and I feel like I just don't have any willpower
00:00:06.280 and I do good for three days and then I stop.
00:00:08.440 And I'm telling you, it's not that, it is environment.
00:00:11.660 Your space, the people, the beliefs, the knowledge, the information
00:00:15.540 that you're surrounding yourself is the number one factor stopping you.
00:00:19.760 Here's proof.
00:00:20.600 If you had the most positive attitude and you're standing in a freezer,
00:00:25.320 there's no amount of positive mental attitude that will warm you up.
00:00:30.000 And your internal thermostat is gonna be set
00:00:33.100 by your environment, that thermostat of life,
00:00:36.520 of what you think you're worthy of,
00:00:38.540 what you're capable of.
00:00:39.940 You need to change your environment
00:00:41.660 to heat your thermostat to another level
00:00:44.760 to make your old high the new low
00:00:46.600 to play a bigger game by just the people,
00:00:49.100 the beliefs and the mindset that you have.
00:00:51.160 I know everything in my life from exiting my companies
00:00:54.340 to raising money from Mark Cuban
00:00:56.060 to moving to Kelowna as a family.
00:00:58.400 All of those were byproducts of being around people,
00:01:02.940 the environment, the spaces
00:01:05.100 to expand the possibilities and horizons.
00:01:08.660 And I wanna share with you three specific strategies
00:01:10.600 that's gonna help you bring that into your life even faster.
00:01:16.620 The first thing you gotta do is what I call a friendventory.
00:01:20.380 A friendventory is asking yourself,
00:01:22.580 of the people you interact with,
00:01:24.620 who are the people that are pulling you down that every time you talk to them they're like
00:01:30.980 questioning what are you doing with that and do you really think that that's something you could
00:01:35.260 do and like have you ever concerned yourself about this problem or they're always telling
00:01:39.140 you all the reasons it won't work they're folks in your life and they could be family members and
00:01:44.640 you can love them and those are all cool things i'm not telling you that you need to go find a
00:01:49.420 new family i'm just saying that you got to do a friendventory and figure out who's pulling you
00:01:53.660 down and ask yourself who are the people that are pushing you up that are that are that are talking
00:02:00.300 into you positivity impossibility of what they see in you that you don't even see in yourself that is
00:02:07.020 one of the most powerful gifts that every human has if they choose is the power of belief in
00:02:12.220 somebody else it's why i do these videos is because i want to breathe into you your greatness your
00:02:18.860 power your capability of what you can achieve in life and be that positive resource the thing is
00:02:24.380 that i'm not going to be around for all the conversations and you're going to go around and
00:02:28.700 you're going to interact with people and you've probably heard that you're the average of the
00:02:31.740 five people you spend the most time with i want you to be a little bit more deliberate about those
00:02:37.100 folks that you allow into your world you know in our home when you come in there's a sign that says
00:02:41.740 you're responsible for the energy you pull into our room because i know that even if i am friends
00:02:47.580 with somebody that normally is positive and supportive and talks about opportunity etc
00:02:53.580 every once in a while they can be in a bad mood they might have got cut off on their way over to
00:02:57.260 my house they may have had a tough conversation with team member and it's not that obviously i
00:03:01.500 don't want to be empathetic and supportive of the person but i do not want them to come in here and
00:03:05.820 think that they can just dump on me my family or even worse my kids because they're having a moment
00:03:13.340 So it's very important that you consider making that list
00:03:17.240 of people that are taking from you,
00:03:19.640 those that are adding to you, and that might be zero.
00:03:21.780 You might do that list and go,
00:03:22.900 I don't have anybody like that in my life.
00:03:24.400 And that is your opportunity.
00:03:25.820 Your opportunity is this, say no to the people
00:03:29.700 that are keep asking you to do stuff, barbecues,
00:03:32.240 weekends, parties, et cetera, that are taking energy
00:03:34.620 from you so you can create the space
00:03:36.560 to then finally find the folks that are positive.
00:03:39.940 These are people in like running rooms, nonprofits,
00:03:42.140 your church, CrossFit gyms, wherever it is,
00:03:44.120 and ask of them, hey, what are you doing on Saturday night?
00:03:47.580 What are you doing Thursday afternoon?
00:03:49.100 Start creating space in your life
00:03:52.080 for the people that could bring positivity and support
00:03:55.340 and breathe into you your potential
00:03:58.620 because it is huge.
00:03:59.700 It's bigger than you can imagine.
00:04:01.120 I believe that in my soul
00:04:02.220 because I believe that for every person.
00:04:04.140 So start with a friendventory.
00:04:05.820 The second thing to amplify your environment
00:04:08.280 is your beliefs.
00:04:09.260 And the way to pump up your beliefs is through books.
00:04:11.640 I wanna share with you four specific books
00:04:13.920 that will allow you to build that network,
00:04:17.420 build that environment, build those relationships
00:04:20.000 that are gonna take your personal network,
00:04:23.040 your room and amplify it
00:04:25.720 so that you have those people in your life
00:04:27.980 now that you created some space,
00:04:29.180 do it in a friend inventory.
00:04:30.480 Number one is called Mastermind Dinners
00:04:32.700 by my good friend, Jason Gaynard.
00:04:34.820 Super fun story.
00:04:36.020 When he was considering writing the book,
00:04:38.760 I actually had written this ebook about hosting founders' dinners
00:04:42.840 because him and I actually met through hosting people for meals.
00:04:47.420 I eventually spoke at his event, Mastermind Talks.
00:04:50.240 And I was just so passionate about him
00:04:52.800 because he was doing dinners on another level.
00:04:55.400 Literally 25 people, custom menus, all this stuff, curating, facilitating.
00:05:01.400 He even had question cards and prompts at the table.
00:05:04.300 He took things to another level.
00:05:05.840 so he wrote a book and it's called mastermind dinners and it is one of my favorite books on
00:05:11.520 the topic so if you want to be inspired and overcome some beliefs to get you to host your
00:05:16.720 first dinner with let's just start with three other people so you would make four you want to
00:05:22.880 read that book the second most important book is never eat alone by keith ferrazzi i mean read it
00:05:28.640 like probably 15 years ago and not only has keith become somebody i consider a friend i actually
00:05:35.200 went and spent time with him and saw him execute the stuff in his book he literally talks about
00:05:42.020 all these different strategies he does with like two cell phones and inviting people to work out
00:05:46.620 literally that was what happened i was like hey i'm going to la i love to meet in person
00:05:50.580 invited me for a workout then we went to brunch afterwards at his favorite spot and then he
00:05:55.080 invited other people to the brunch for me to meet them to to kind of like increase my experience but
00:06:00.960 also for them to meet me and me to meet that it's just crazy how he did that so highly recommend
00:06:06.240 never eat alone the third one is the bible for all of this it's how to win friends and influence
00:06:11.320 people by dale carnegie and i have this funny story about the book because one day i had a
00:06:15.760 team member coming over to my house right before she was flying out and she had her uh luggage her
00:06:20.820 carry-on and then this uh binder because she was taking this you know uh dale carnegie course and
00:06:26.400 it's all about like, you know, going to events and remember people's names, right? Like the big part
00:06:31.000 of like asking somebody's name and remember it and try to, you know, different techniques and
00:06:35.160 strategies. And my father-in-law sees her, looks at the, the coursing and just says to her, it was,
00:06:40.500 ah, that, that, that training, I took that a long time ago. Never forgot a person's name that,
00:06:46.180 that Dave Carnegie, that's great stuff. And she kind of looks at him and goes, don't you mean
00:06:51.080 Dale Carnegie? And he just looks back at her and smiles because he knew he missed it. He was
00:06:56.180 joking and she she bought into it hook line and sinker so if you haven't read
00:07:01.340 the book go get that one the fourth one is a new book that just came out by a
00:07:05.960 guy named Joe polish he's the founder of genius Network arguably one of the most
00:07:10.040 connected people alive today and his book is what's in it for them and I
00:07:15.360 really love the strategies in it that talks about creating value so all the
00:07:20.300 other books have different approaches to kind of like the different areas of
00:07:23.420 building a network and really building the belief
00:07:26.060 that you are valuable as a person
00:07:28.240 and you should wanna share that with the world.
00:07:30.980 But Joe goes into the specifics
00:07:33.820 of not only trying to identify people
00:07:35.880 that you wanna stay away from,
00:07:36.840 but also how to create value in very unique
00:07:39.320 and non-obvious ways that I think all of you guys
00:07:41.840 would really enjoy.
00:07:43.280 So if you're looking for tactical mindset,
00:07:47.480 specific books to help you build your personal network,
00:07:50.120 to grow the belief, to increase the environment
00:07:53.380 that you find yourself around people
00:07:55.240 and dinners and workouts and all this stuff,
00:07:57.660 go check out those four books.
00:07:58.780 It will transform your life.
00:08:00.560 Number three is better rooms.
00:08:02.760 Here's what I mean by that.
00:08:04.300 It doesn't matter where you're at in your business.
00:08:07.120 If you're starting off
00:08:08.900 and you haven't gotten to 100,000 yet,
00:08:11.420 there's a room for people that are 100,000.
00:08:14.700 And the key is when you get to that upper level
00:08:17.500 of your room is to go find the new room.
00:08:20.780 go find the 100,000 to million dollar room.
00:08:24.240 And then once you get there,
00:08:25.240 go find the million to the $5 million room
00:08:27.840 and the 5 million to the 10 million, the 10 to the 25.
00:08:30.760 What I'm saying is if you are in a place
00:08:33.940 where you have a network and you're part of a group,
00:08:36.940 but you're on the upper end of that group,
00:08:39.200 you literally gotta go find the next one
00:08:41.240 where you come into the room
00:08:42.980 and you feel like the small person.
00:08:44.920 You feel that imposter syndrome that you once felt.
00:08:48.140 Because what'll happen sometimes is you'll actually go from like, I don't have a lot
00:08:53.020 of strong relationships to I now have some and I feel good about it and I know how to
00:08:58.240 add value and it's safe.
00:08:59.620 But I'm telling you, being safe when it comes to increasing your environment is not how
00:09:03.400 you grow.
00:09:04.240 You want to push yourself to find that next level room.
00:09:08.260 It's kind of like if you're the smartest person on your street, move to another street.
00:09:12.620 Go find that next level neighborhood that is going to make you feel uncomfortable.
00:09:16.760 that's going to push you,
00:09:17.740 that's going to get you around people
00:09:19.780 that are operating at a higher thermostat level
00:09:22.520 that you just can't even imagine the thinking.
00:09:25.500 You know, one of my coaches and mentors,
00:09:28.080 this guy named Ed Milet,
00:09:29.080 he literally bought a house,
00:09:31.020 initially just a piece of land
00:09:32.440 in this place called the Madison Club,
00:09:34.380 which is one of the most elite neighborhood
00:09:37.680 golf memberships to be part of.
00:09:39.700 I mean, Tim Cook, Phil Knight,
00:09:41.620 Justin Bieber is his neighbors.
00:09:43.380 And just being there at his home,
00:09:46.560 which is just spectacular but understanding that as a young man in business he made the conscious
00:09:54.020 decision to move into that neighborhood to up level his environment to be exposed to different
00:10:01.140 ideas that were going to inspire him to play a bigger game and that was part of a very strategic
00:10:07.220 and thoughtful decision that's what this strategy is about getting into a better room is get around
00:10:12.960 those mentors those people advisors the um the mastermind groups that are going to push you my
00:10:19.200 buddy matt reached out to me recently they're doing incredible in their business 35 million
00:10:23.440 going to 100 million asking me like where's my next room and here's the reality you need to build
00:10:29.680 it sometimes sometimes there is no existing room that's really built or you're not aware of it and
00:10:36.000 it's okay to sit down and say okay i want to build my own you know napoleon hill talked about this
00:10:40.560 and think and grow rich design your mastermind identify people that are 16 months two years
00:10:45.840 ahead of where you're at and reach out to them and pull them forward and try to create value in their
00:10:50.160 life so that you can build a different room and you can do it online digital and just meet once
00:10:54.640 a month you can do it in person a few times a year one of my buddies brad they uh they have
00:10:59.440 a mastermind with about 12 guys and every quarter one of the members hosts other members in their
00:11:04.480 city and they cover all the costs and that's that is the rhythm and they've been doing it now for
00:11:09.680 five six years and it is he'll say one of the most valuable things that he invests his time and energy
00:11:14.400 in to really up level to find a better room so that is my challenge to you is how can you invest
00:11:22.320 in your network in your relationships to be the small guy in your room your metaphoric city room
00:11:29.600 the mental room you've created for yourself or physically around the people that are in a room
00:11:35.440 to make you feel like there is another level for you to strive for so if you've been struggling
00:11:39.680 with willpower realize now it's environment and it's time to up level your environment now i know
00:11:45.200 i mentioned a few books but if you want to get my top business books all of the best books i've
00:11:50.560 read over 1500 books and i've distilled them down initially for my young cousin who's starting a
00:11:55.280 business and he said what book should i start with i put them together you can click the link below
00:11:59.680 to download your copy.
00:12:01.240 Hope this video finds you awesome
00:12:02.560 and I'll see you next week.