Your Friends Are Holding You Backā¦
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Summary
In this episode, I talk about the importance of creating a positive environment in your life and how to leverage the power of positivity in your environment to propel you to new levels of success. If you had the most positive attitude and you're standing in a freezer, there's no amount of positive mental attitude that will warm you up. And your internal thermostat is gonna be set by your environment, that thermostats of life, of what you think you're worthy of, what you're capable of, and what you believe in.
Transcript
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Most people failing think it's a willpower problem.
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It's they're depleted and I feel like I just don't have any willpower
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And I'm telling you, it's not that, it is environment.
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Your space, the people, the beliefs, the knowledge, the information
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that you're surrounding yourself is the number one factor stopping you.
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If you had the most positive attitude and you're standing in a freezer,
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there's no amount of positive mental attitude that will warm you up.
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I know everything in my life from exiting my companies
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All of those were byproducts of being around people,
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And I wanna share with you three specific strategies
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that's gonna help you bring that into your life even faster.
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The first thing you gotta do is what I call a friendventory.
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who are the people that are pulling you down that every time you talk to them they're like
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questioning what are you doing with that and do you really think that that's something you could
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do and like have you ever concerned yourself about this problem or they're always telling
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you all the reasons it won't work they're folks in your life and they could be family members and
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you can love them and those are all cool things i'm not telling you that you need to go find a
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new family i'm just saying that you got to do a friendventory and figure out who's pulling you
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down and ask yourself who are the people that are pushing you up that are that are that are talking
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into you positivity impossibility of what they see in you that you don't even see in yourself that is
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one of the most powerful gifts that every human has if they choose is the power of belief in
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somebody else it's why i do these videos is because i want to breathe into you your greatness your
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power your capability of what you can achieve in life and be that positive resource the thing is
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that i'm not going to be around for all the conversations and you're going to go around and
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you're going to interact with people and you've probably heard that you're the average of the
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five people you spend the most time with i want you to be a little bit more deliberate about those
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folks that you allow into your world you know in our home when you come in there's a sign that says
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you're responsible for the energy you pull into our room because i know that even if i am friends
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with somebody that normally is positive and supportive and talks about opportunity etc
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every once in a while they can be in a bad mood they might have got cut off on their way over to
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my house they may have had a tough conversation with team member and it's not that obviously i
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don't want to be empathetic and supportive of the person but i do not want them to come in here and
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think that they can just dump on me my family or even worse my kids because they're having a moment
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So it's very important that you consider making that list
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those that are adding to you, and that might be zero.
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that are keep asking you to do stuff, barbecues,
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weekends, parties, et cetera, that are taking energy
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to then finally find the folks that are positive.
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These are people in like running rooms, nonprofits,
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and ask of them, hey, what are you doing on Saturday night?
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for the people that could bring positivity and support
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And the way to pump up your beliefs is through books.
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build that environment, build those relationships
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I actually had written this ebook about hosting founders' dinners
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because him and I actually met through hosting people for meals.
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I eventually spoke at his event, Mastermind Talks.
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Literally 25 people, custom menus, all this stuff, curating, facilitating.
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He even had question cards and prompts at the table.
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so he wrote a book and it's called mastermind dinners and it is one of my favorite books on
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the topic so if you want to be inspired and overcome some beliefs to get you to host your
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first dinner with let's just start with three other people so you would make four you want to
0.95
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read that book the second most important book is never eat alone by keith ferrazzi i mean read it
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like probably 15 years ago and not only has keith become somebody i consider a friend i actually
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went and spent time with him and saw him execute the stuff in his book he literally talks about
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all these different strategies he does with like two cell phones and inviting people to work out
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literally that was what happened i was like hey i'm going to la i love to meet in person
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invited me for a workout then we went to brunch afterwards at his favorite spot and then he
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invited other people to the brunch for me to meet them to to kind of like increase my experience but
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also for them to meet me and me to meet that it's just crazy how he did that so highly recommend
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never eat alone the third one is the bible for all of this it's how to win friends and influence
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people by dale carnegie and i have this funny story about the book because one day i had a
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team member coming over to my house right before she was flying out and she had her uh luggage her
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carry-on and then this uh binder because she was taking this you know uh dale carnegie course and
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it's all about like, you know, going to events and remember people's names, right? Like the big part
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of like asking somebody's name and remember it and try to, you know, different techniques and
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strategies. And my father-in-law sees her, looks at the, the coursing and just says to her, it was,
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ah, that, that, that training, I took that a long time ago. Never forgot a person's name that,
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that Dave Carnegie, that's great stuff. And she kind of looks at him and goes, don't you mean
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Dale Carnegie? And he just looks back at her and smiles because he knew he missed it. He was
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joking and she she bought into it hook line and sinker so if you haven't read
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the book go get that one the fourth one is a new book that just came out by a
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guy named Joe polish he's the founder of genius Network arguably one of the most
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connected people alive today and his book is what's in it for them and I
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really love the strategies in it that talks about creating value so all the
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other books have different approaches to kind of like the different areas of
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building a network and really building the belief
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and you should wanna share that with the world.
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and non-obvious ways that I think all of you guys
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specific books to help you build your personal network,
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to grow the belief, to increase the environment
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It doesn't matter where you're at in your business.
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And the key is when you get to that upper level
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and the 5 million to the 10 million, the 10 to the 25.
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where you have a network and you're part of a group,
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You feel that imposter syndrome that you once felt.
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Because what'll happen sometimes is you'll actually go from like, I don't have a lot
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of strong relationships to I now have some and I feel good about it and I know how to
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But I'm telling you, being safe when it comes to increasing your environment is not how
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You want to push yourself to find that next level room.
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It's kind of like if you're the smartest person on your street, move to another street.
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Go find that next level neighborhood that is going to make you feel uncomfortable.
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that are operating at a higher thermostat level
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which is just spectacular but understanding that as a young man in business he made the conscious
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decision to move into that neighborhood to up level his environment to be exposed to different
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ideas that were going to inspire him to play a bigger game and that was part of a very strategic
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and thoughtful decision that's what this strategy is about getting into a better room is get around
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those mentors those people advisors the um the mastermind groups that are going to push you my
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buddy matt reached out to me recently they're doing incredible in their business 35 million
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going to 100 million asking me like where's my next room and here's the reality you need to build
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it sometimes sometimes there is no existing room that's really built or you're not aware of it and
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it's okay to sit down and say okay i want to build my own you know napoleon hill talked about this
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and think and grow rich design your mastermind identify people that are 16 months two years
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ahead of where you're at and reach out to them and pull them forward and try to create value in their
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life so that you can build a different room and you can do it online digital and just meet once
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a month you can do it in person a few times a year one of my buddies brad they uh they have
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a mastermind with about 12 guys and every quarter one of the members hosts other members in their
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city and they cover all the costs and that's that is the rhythm and they've been doing it now for
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five six years and it is he'll say one of the most valuable things that he invests his time and energy
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in to really up level to find a better room so that is my challenge to you is how can you invest
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in your network in your relationships to be the small guy in your room your metaphoric city room
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the mental room you've created for yourself or physically around the people that are in a room
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to make you feel like there is another level for you to strive for so if you've been struggling
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with willpower realize now it's environment and it's time to up level your environment now i know
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i mentioned a few books but if you want to get my top business books all of the best books i've
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read over 1500 books and i've distilled them down initially for my young cousin who's starting a
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business and he said what book should i start with i put them together you can click the link below