Dan Martell - June 14, 2021


Your REALITY Is A Reflection Of Your IDENTITY


Episode Stats


Length

16 minutes

Words per minute

181.35345

Word count

2,980

Sentence count

159

Harmful content

Toxicity

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Who we think we are is a byproduct of who we really are. Identity is the key that determines who we are and how we show up in the world. In this episode, I share some personal stories of how I ve had to shift and iterate the way I think about myself and how I show up on the world because of my identity.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
00:00:00.120 As a teenager, I was somebody that smoked cigarettes.
00:00:02.440 And because I had the identity to be, I'm a smoker.
00:00:05.280 I'm somebody that smokes cigarettes.
00:00:07.280 And what happened was at 20 years old,
00:00:09.560 I decided enough's enough.
00:00:11.360 It's not that I quit smoking.
00:00:13.520 I wasn't a quitter, I was not a smoker.
00:00:17.040 Today, I want to share some ideas around identity, some stories of how I've personally gone through
00:00:36.920 my life and had to shift and iterate and morph the way I think about myself and how I show up
00:00:42.920 in the world because I don't know if you're somebody
00:00:45.640 that feels like you've got more to give
00:00:48.500 and there's a part of you that feels blocked
00:00:52.340 where you know you keep trying to push
00:00:55.100 but you hit this ceiling and it's frustrating.
00:00:57.980 You know, I've seen a lot of friends of mine.
00:01:00.300 I have one specific friend where, you know, his whole life
00:01:03.940 he's been just like trying to create, trying to build
00:01:06.680 and he keeps hitting this ceiling, right?
00:01:09.200 And it's crazy because it's somebody
00:01:11.580 who is a high performer.
00:01:12.720 They do all the right things.
00:01:14.040 They say all the right things.
00:01:15.120 They read the books and there's something missing.
00:01:18.460 And what I wanna share with you today is
00:01:20.440 how to get to a place where you understand
00:01:23.340 why you have these mental blocks,
00:01:25.400 why you keep hitting these ceilings
00:01:27.300 and how to create a pattern to overcome them
00:01:30.260 just like you have a pattern for how you're stuck in them.
00:01:33.920 And that's the big idea from today.
00:01:37.780 And at the end in the comments,
00:01:39.520 I'm gonna share with you a framework called Future Living
00:01:43.160 that I created for my private coaching clients
00:01:45.280 that I'm gonna give you access to.
00:01:46.380 It's a private training from an event I did,
00:01:48.460 and it teaches you how to think,
00:01:51.060 how to act today so that you live that way into the future.
00:01:54.980 Very, very powerful.
00:01:56.760 And it'll help you with the core concept
00:01:58.260 of today's conversation, which is identity, right?
00:02:00.320 That our reality is a byproduct of our identity.
00:02:03.720 Who we think we are is going to show up
00:02:07.320 in the world in that way.
00:02:08.860 So for me, a really personal example is my whole life,
00:02:13.320 I've always said I was big boned, okay?
00:02:16.220 At 21 years old, I weighed 265 pounds.
00:02:21.220 I was, you know, I'm 6'2", 6'3".
00:02:24.180 Back then I was probably 6'2".
00:02:26.060 And essentially I was fat.
00:02:28.540 I was overweight.
00:02:29.620 I was drinking a lot. 1.00
00:02:32.180 I was eating shit food. 0.99
00:02:33.780 I was spending all my time at a computer writing code. 1.00
00:02:36.740 I would go out with my friends, binge eat.
00:02:41.200 I mean, it was literally the most unhealthy
00:02:44.580 lifestyle you could live.
00:02:46.640 And it made sense because I was big boned.
00:02:50.500 So there was never a conflict in that identity.
00:02:54.120 And what happened over the years
00:02:57.540 is I started questioning myself,
00:02:59.540 am I truly big boned or am I just fat?
00:03:02.240 Like, am I somebody that healthily should weigh 265 pounds
00:03:08.400 or should I weigh more like 220 pounds?
00:03:11.300 Should my body fat percentage be so high
00:03:16.360 and are my decisions leading to that?
00:03:18.260 And what's funny is we think that it's our decisions,
00:03:20.540 but it's actually our identity.
00:03:21.620 It's what we believe to be true that leads to that.
00:03:24.140 And obviously as I sit here in front of you today
00:03:26.580 at 215 pounds, very lean triathlon,
00:03:30.380 like competitor and athlete,
00:03:33.960 it's a completely different lifestyle.
00:03:35.820 And I see myself on that front on the health side
00:03:39.680 and many other sides that has allowed me
00:03:41.880 to get to where I'm at today.
00:03:42.840 And I wanna share with you some of these beliefs, right?
00:03:45.480 Cause a guy named T Harv Eker has a great saying.
00:03:48.200 He says, if you wanna change the fruits,
00:03:50.260 you have to be willing to change the roots, okay?
00:03:53.140 So if you wanna change the fruits of the tree, you,
00:03:58.060 then you have to be willing to change the roots.
00:04:00.220 If you wanna change the visible,
00:04:02.300 you must first change the invisible, the mindset,
00:04:05.360 the identity of everything, right?
00:04:08.340 So a few beliefs.
00:04:10.600 The core idea is identity, right?
00:04:12.620 A lot of people think once I have something,
00:04:15.520 then I'll be a certain way.
00:04:17.360 And unfortunately, the framework,
00:04:19.800 it's incredibly powerful,
00:04:20.980 is that first you need to be that person,
00:04:23.960 then that will drive the doing of the activity
00:04:26.660 and then you will have the outcome.
00:04:28.760 So some people think it's once I'm a millionaire,
00:04:31.180 then I'll be a millionaire.
00:04:32.200 The crazy part is that having the identity
00:04:37.300 of being a millionaire actually comes before
00:04:40.000 you can produce the actions, which is the do,
00:04:42.380 to eventually have the results of those beliefs,
00:04:44.920 which is the have, right?
00:04:47.200 And I mean, this might sound crazy,
00:04:48.700 but when I was a teenager, I used to smoke.
00:04:51.000 I smoked cigarettes.
00:04:52.140 That was my identity.
00:04:53.700 I was a bad kid.
00:04:55.440 You know, if you don't know my story,
00:04:56.520 I grew up in a really challenging environment.
00:04:58.720 ended up, you know, in trouble with the law,
00:05:02.020 you know, addicted to drugs, et cetera, right?
00:05:04.220 And that all shifted when I was 17.
00:05:06.060 But as a teenager, I was somebody that smoked cigarettes.
00:05:08.860 And because I had the identity to be, I'm a smoker.
00:05:11.700 I'm somebody that smokes cigarettes.
00:05:13.500 And what happened was at 20 years old,
00:05:15.980 I decided enough's enough.
00:05:17.800 It's not that I quit smoking.
00:05:19.940 I wasn't a quitter.
00:05:21.920 I was not a smoker.
00:05:23.640 So like even that idea of the identity
00:05:25.880 of reframing it for yourself and saying,
00:05:28.000 It's not that I'm not this anymore.
00:05:29.720 It's just, I was never that.
00:05:31.500 So instead of saying I'm not big boned,
00:05:35.800 you say I'm an athlete, right?
00:05:37.700 And that's kind of my journey.
00:05:38.820 It literally started from like, you know, I don't smoke.
00:05:42.540 I'm not a smoker.
00:05:43.380 So it's not like I quit.
00:05:44.200 I wouldn't even tell people I quit.
00:05:45.260 People meet me and they'd be smoking.
00:05:46.440 They'd be like, want one?
00:05:47.280 I go, no, I don't smoke.
00:05:48.120 Perfect, right?
00:05:49.360 Not, no, I quit and it's been two years, right?
00:05:52.560 Cause that's a different identity, right?
00:05:54.800 And it's so powerful because if you start
00:05:57.180 with the be, do, have,
00:05:59.300 the beliefs drive the actions that drive the results,
00:06:01.860 everything starts to make sense.
00:06:03.400 So that's the first thing.
00:06:04.240 The second thing is to be somebody
00:06:06.520 that collects these beliefs.
00:06:08.300 When I look at my life and I see the teenager
00:06:12.960 that went through hell, rehab, jail, addiction
00:06:17.960 to the person today that gets to multimillionaire,
00:06:22.960 incredible family, incredible relationships,
00:06:25.140 opportunities, you know, speaker, et cetera.
00:06:30.240 It's because I decided to audit my beliefs.
00:06:33.280 I decided to really write down and say,
00:06:35.560 what are things that I believe that may not be true
00:06:38.800 that are holding me back from being the person
00:06:40.940 to take the actions I need to take to get the results, right?
00:06:43.720 So it doesn't matter where you're at in your life today,
00:06:46.100 you need to become the person who can deal
00:06:48.580 with a higher level of issues,
00:06:50.440 which means you have to start reprogramming
00:06:52.680 those beliefs, right?
00:06:53.960 You might have money beliefs.
00:06:55.140 You might have performance beliefs.
00:06:57.260 You might have productivity beliefs.
00:06:58.420 You might have relationship beliefs.
00:06:59.720 You might have emotional triggers.
00:07:02.580 And these are all opportunities for you
00:07:04.580 to really double down on who you are
00:07:07.340 and how you're showing up in the world.
00:07:09.420 So for me, becoming a belief collector is the idea of,
00:07:12.440 as I read, when I read books,
00:07:14.420 I literally highlight the passages where I'm going,
00:07:17.860 I'm gonna adopt that.
00:07:18.860 I'm gonna adopt that.
00:07:19.720 I like that question.
00:07:20.740 I like that statement.
00:07:22.180 And over time, you get to a place where, for example,
00:07:26.580 one of the beliefs I have is 100% accountability.
00:07:28.720 And when I say 100% accountability,
00:07:30.520 I don't mean like when it serves me.
00:07:32.960 I mean, 100% accountability.
00:07:34.240 I don't care if I get in a car accident,
00:07:36.780 I'm accountable for how I react to that situation. 0.95
00:07:39.940 Now, I'm not an idiot and realize that, 0.71
00:07:42.400 like I created that car accident 0.80
00:07:43.980 if I wasn't the person that was the cause of it,
00:07:47.060 but I am 100% accountable
00:07:50.020 for how I view and perceive and respond to those situations.
00:07:54.660 That's one of many examples of beliefs
00:07:57.200 over the years that I've collected,
00:07:58.660 that I've internalized, that I continue to work on, right?
00:08:01.680 The belief that we need to become the person who can deal,
00:08:07.160 the belief that all of our desires
00:08:11.140 live on the other side of fear.
00:08:12.540 So if I'm not anxious about my day, if it doesn't scare me,
00:08:15.840 if it doesn't push me out of my comfort zone,
00:08:19.560 then you might ask yourself, is it even worth doing, right?
00:08:23.540 The belief that I'm responsible for the energy
00:08:25.920 that I allow into my life.
00:08:27.680 So if I have people that are energy vampires,
00:08:31.720 I'm responsible for that.
00:08:33.020 And how they show up in my life is gonna impact
00:08:35.600 my ability to have energy throughout the day.
00:08:38.300 And that one is a big one, belief collector,
00:08:40.300 becoming a belief collector.
00:08:41.440 And then the third I wanna share with you
00:08:43.220 that I think is really powerful is momentum.
00:08:47.380 momentum is probably the area that if I had to go back,
00:08:53.300 I don't have a whole lot I would change.
00:08:54.960 But after I sold my company Spirit,
00:08:58.000 there was about a two year period,
00:08:59.620 even though I started a company called Flowtown,
00:09:01.800 there was a two year period
00:09:02.680 where I kind of took my foot off the gas.
00:09:05.460 And I underestimated the amount of value
00:09:09.940 in creating momentum, that 1% better every day,
00:09:13.620 that drive, that obsession, right?
00:09:17.500 Healthy, constructive, positive,
00:09:20.600 but just, I thought after I had that big win
00:09:23.660 that I'm gonna take some time off
00:09:25.200 and I'm gonna treat myself and be a little bit more lax
00:09:29.600 on all these success habits I'd created at that point.
00:09:32.080 And when I look at a period of my time,
00:09:34.800 that is one area, that one time,
00:09:37.720 and it was a great lesson to learn,
00:09:39.140 that's why I'm here today,
00:09:40.380 is I've taken that moment and now momentum to me
00:09:45.080 means that I will never not play the game.
00:09:47.600 I'm going to design my life so that I can play this game
00:09:50.340 for the rest of my life, right?
00:09:52.140 The game I'm creating, this game of life,
00:09:54.200 this game of business, this integrated life
00:09:56.240 that I talk about often.
00:09:57.740 So to me, momentum is about celebrating small wins.
00:10:01.060 One thing I do with my kids is when they have a success,
00:10:03.740 when they learn to ride their bike or hike a big mountain
00:10:06.720 or draw something really impressive,
00:10:09.420 Not only do we celebrate what they did,
00:10:11.220 but what I remind them is like,
00:10:12.680 celebrate where you came from.
00:10:14.460 Look at where you came from and connect the dots.
00:10:17.160 Because to me, that's the part that entrepreneurs
00:10:20.020 are horrible at.
00:10:20.920 We don't give ourselves credit to say,
00:10:22.780 man, here's a great belief that I love is,
00:10:26.620 or just even a saying, a quote,
00:10:28.300 remember the day when these problems you're facing today
00:10:32.240 were dreams you wish you had.
00:10:35.640 Interesting.
00:10:36.520 The challenges you're dealing with today
00:10:38.540 In the past were dreams of yours
00:10:40.840 that you wish you had the opportunity to deal with.
00:10:44.940 And that is today.
00:10:46.320 And now you're like down on yourself or frustrated
00:10:48.920 or depressed or anxious or feel overwhelmed
00:10:52.540 when this is what you wanted.
00:10:53.980 There was a day when you didn't have any of this
00:10:56.300 and it is now your reality.
00:10:58.780 And I just think celebrating small wins,
00:11:00.780 a guy named Charlie Rocket, Charlie CEO.
00:11:05.000 He has a thing called the dream bus.
00:11:07.060 One of his quotes that he talks about
00:11:08.420 is being on a winning streak.
00:11:10.140 Man, consume that guy's content.
00:11:12.720 He is the most positive, motivating individual
00:11:16.820 I've ever come across.
00:11:18.220 And I have all the time in the world
00:11:20.020 for anything Charlie does.
00:11:21.260 His projects, his speaking,
00:11:23.680 anytime he does a podcast interview,
00:11:25.100 I wanna hear it because you can see somebody
00:11:27.660 that's continued to evolve.
00:11:28.780 I mean, the guy went from overweight
00:11:30.240 to being a Nike athlete.
00:11:31.660 He went from being, you know,
00:11:33.400 coming from a really tough environment
00:11:34.900 to becoming a top music producer,
00:11:37.320 to now enabling people's dreams all over the US.
00:11:41.200 He created a bus and he goes in and he gifts people
00:11:44.740 like workers at drive-through windows, et cetera.
00:11:47.300 And he partners with other influencers and celebrities
00:11:49.480 to do this work.
00:11:50.860 And the winning streak,
00:11:53.000 because a lot of people have the tattoo,
00:11:54.360 that's why I do this.
00:11:55.200 People actually wrote winning streak, winning streak.
00:11:57.920 Why?
00:11:58.760 Because if you wake up and you're alive,
00:12:01.600 Charlie, he's like, man, I'm on a winning streak.
00:12:03.800 You go get a Starbucks coffee, whatever your drink is.
00:12:07.700 You know, mine is, I really love a dirty chai, extra hot, right?
00:12:11.640 Dirty chai latte, extra hot.
00:12:14.760 Winning streak, why?
00:12:16.080 I mean, look at this beautiful thing
00:12:17.880 that you get to consume for a few dollars.
00:12:20.180 And it's, you just, people underestimate
00:12:22.380 the value of momentum, the value of perceiving every situation.
00:12:27.560 Because here's the deal, people worry all the time.
00:12:31.200 And the probability of the thing they're worrying about
00:12:33.280 is the exact same probability
00:12:35.200 of something miraculous happening.
00:12:37.040 Like literally, like I could die tomorrow.
00:12:39.020 The probability of you dying tomorrow
00:12:40.420 is the same probability of you winning the lottery.
00:12:43.160 Probably, right?
00:12:44.120 Like it's, there's a good chance you're gonna live
00:12:46.140 and there's a good chance you're not gonna win the lottery.
00:12:47.520 But yet we choose to focus on the things
00:12:49.280 that probably won't happen, the bad.
00:12:51.160 And I just love this idea of like celebrating the win,
00:12:54.060 celebrating the momentum, the winning streak
00:12:56.720 to get you on this movement of stronger beliefs.
00:13:03.280 So again, your reality is a reflection of your strongest beliefs in life. And the metaphor that
00:13:10.180 I like to share with people, with coaching clients is, you know, if you don't start taking some of
00:13:15.500 these negative beliefs out of your backpack, okay? So imagine this, you have a backpack
00:13:20.140 and you have a bunch of negative beliefs and they're these rocks and they're very heavy.
00:13:24.760 And every time you hear something or something bad happens to you, you take that moment and you
00:13:30.480 you crystallize it in this heavy weight
00:13:31.940 and you throw it in the backpack.
00:13:33.900 And if you don't decide, even if you're successful,
00:13:37.020 cause you're somebody that's climbing the ladder of success
00:13:39.320 and you're winning in life,
00:13:40.660 is if you don't decide to start processing
00:13:42.940 each one of those rocks and look at them and go,
00:13:45.140 okay, what belief do I have on that?
00:13:46.300 Is that supporting me?
00:13:47.140 No, what would be the empowering belief?
00:13:48.540 What would be the positive belief?
00:13:49.480 What would be the goal oriented supportive belief?
00:13:54.480 And then rewriting that, reworking through this
00:13:57.780 and that becomes light like a feather.
00:14:00.200 And that is what you carry.
00:14:01.740 So what happens is the more you rewrite your identity
00:14:05.660 and change your beliefs and celebrate the momentum
00:14:09.020 is all of a sudden now this backpack
00:14:10.900 that might weigh 50 pounds, 100 pounds, 250 pounds.
00:14:13.600 Imagine trying to climb the ladder of success. 0.97
00:14:15.580 And as you go through crap, 0.71
00:14:17.340 you keep loading it full of heavier things. 0.81
00:14:19.300 Are you gonna be able to climb that ladder?
00:14:21.580 Or is the weight of those beliefs and that trauma
00:14:25.220 and those challenges that you face in the past
00:14:27.580 and the stories that you've told about those situations
00:14:30.280 gonna hold you back.
00:14:32.040 And my wish and hope for you
00:14:34.580 is that you can evaluate each one of those
00:14:37.740 and take them out of the backpack
00:14:39.480 and then throw them back in when the light is a feather
00:14:42.060 to support you to move faster.
00:14:43.900 Because if you do this work,
00:14:45.040 you will actually become a better leader,
00:14:47.260 a better husband, a better friend
00:14:48.960 for the people you care about the most,
00:14:50.580 which I think is just such a beautiful thing
00:14:54.060 to become for you.
00:14:55.720 And so my call to action, okay, is to audit your beliefs.
00:14:59.700 The who do you think you are today?
00:15:01.720 Write down on a piece of paper.
00:15:03.740 Write down, it's like, here's my characteristics.
00:15:06.220 And write down like, I'm a funny person.
00:15:07.960 I'm this, I'm that, I'm that.
00:15:09.040 And then ask yourself, is there anything in there
00:15:10.660 that I feel is holding me back?
00:15:12.500 And grab one of them and ask yourself,
00:15:14.780 what is the opposite belief or habit
00:15:17.440 around that characteristic of who you are?
00:15:19.980 And work on that.
00:15:21.360 And use that as a strategy to keep iterating,
00:15:25.400 keep improving.
00:15:26.560 And if you do that,
00:15:27.400 I guarantee your life will look dramatically different
00:15:29.680 even in 12 months.
00:15:30.800 If you do that consistently,
00:15:32.160 your life will look completely different
00:15:34.280 than when the one you believe in today.
00:15:35.800 People will not even recognize that the person,
00:15:38.900 not that you won't look different,
00:15:39.900 you'll sound different or look different,
00:15:41.900 but you will react differently and it will be perceived
00:15:45.060 and you will inspire others
00:15:46.260 and you will shine your light
00:15:48.240 for the rest of the world to receive.
00:15:49.780 And I think that is a area worth doing.
00:15:52.340 So if you want the future living framework,
00:15:54.900 how I think about visualizing into the future,
00:15:59.560 acting today, designing that identity
00:16:02.940 so that you can project it into the future.
00:16:05.220 Click the link below to get access to that training.
00:16:09.180 And I would love to hear from everybody.
00:16:11.860 Below in the comments, let me know
00:16:13.520 what is the number one takeaway for you?
00:16:15.740 What was the most important thing you needed to hear today
00:16:18.720 from what I shared with you?
00:16:20.100 I wanna hear from everybody in the comments below.
00:16:21.700 And with that, hope this video finds you incredibly well.
00:16:24.220 We'll talk soon.
00:16:24.940 Peace.
00:16:25.600 Later.