Fresh & Fit - Certified Therapist Breaks Down Why There Can Be Hope In Dating

00:14:04.000 All right, and we're back.

00:14:05.000 Um, we did a podcast a couple weeks ago as well, uh, Jeff, and you broke down beautifully uh dating nowadays, how it's could be hope, how it could be cooked, and what you think is best.

00:14:16.000 But today we're gonna do it on Fresh and Fit.

00:14:18.000 Uh you guys know, uh one-on-one, but I know you are, they may not.

00:14:22.000 Jeff, who are you?

00:14:24.000 What's going on, y'all?

00:14:25.000 I am the host of Ask a Brother Podcast.

00:14:27.000 Uh, my name is Jeff St. James.

00:14:29.000 I'm a licensed therapist for the state of Pennsylvania, and uh I've been doing this podcast for uh actually this year.

00:14:34.000 Uh I went viral in July on July 3rd, and since July 3rd till today, we clear 25,000 subscribers as of yesterday.

00:14:42.000 Let's go.

00:14:43.000 Good stuff, man.

00:14:44.000 So uh Jeff, you are actually a certified therapist.

00:14:48.000 And I'm just curious, what got you into talking about red pill more so than most people in in your uh space?

00:14:54.000 Yeah, man.

00:14:55.000 So for starters, thank you for welcoming me into your space.

00:14:57.000 Uh I really appreciated our original uh episode.

00:15:00.000 It's I saw the feedback.

00:15:01.000 I saw uh they loved it, man.

00:15:04.000 Most people did.

00:15:05.000 Um but yeah, overall was it was really fun.

00:15:08.000 I I loved it.

00:15:09.000 Um in terms of podcasts, I've been wanting to do podcasts for a minute, actually.

00:15:12.000 Uh and I've been watching you know, different podcasts and the manosphere stuff.

00:15:19.000 I've been watching this stuff for probably about eight years now.

00:15:22.000 So I've been kind of feeling like I've been a student of the game for quite a minute.

00:15:25.000 And um I was kinda taking what I was seeing on social media and in these podcast space and also comparing it to what I was analyzing in the therapy sessions in the mental health field.

00:15:36.000 And I was seeing that there was actually a lot of overlap.

00:15:39.000 I was noticing that many of the issues in terms of couples, relationships, men's issues, challenges, everything was like happening in the field.

00:15:46.000 Um but I was realizing very, very few therapists was actually bringing up and talking about many of these things.

00:15:51.000 Right.

00:15:52.000 So, you know, man, uh I just finally decided at the end of 2024, I was like, yeah, I'm gonna do it.

00:15:57.000 Um, and of course, I'm not just gonna speak through the lens as a therapist.

00:16:01.000 I'm also gonna give my opinions as a regular person.

00:16:03.000 Um, and I'm realizing now after about two months of doing this, people are basically staying your lane, shut up and dribble, like focus on this or that.

00:16:12.000 I'm like, I'm I'm like everybody else, I got opinions on different things, but as far as the therapy lens, um I I really really felt and realized the same way in the manosphere, the same way with the red pill content.

00:16:25.000 Um a lot of men felt like men's views and perspectives weren't being heard, weren't being valued.

00:16:31.000 And this was often the only space.

00:16:33.000 It was the barbershop and spots like this where men were allowed to actually articulate what they were experiencing, what they were going through, many of the pros and cons of doing life with women in the US.

00:16:43.000 And I was realizing in the mental health field, it was kind of the same thing where um everything was maybe female-centered, fem-centric, and anytime you try to kind of bring up issues, uh, even just the field itself is very feminized with 75% of the uh therapists being women.

00:17:01.000 Um so you could imagine it makes sense why so few men actually think therapy is helpful.

00:17:09.000 And it and I was like, I realized there's there's a space of men's needs, issues that need to be brought back into that space.

00:17:16.000 So it just kind of pushed me to kind of say, I think it's time for another voice to be be in this be in this spot.

00:17:22.000 So the main customer base for therapy is women, you would say. 0.70

00:17:25.000 Oh, overwhelmingly, it's not even close.

00:17:27.000 Men hardly go to therapy because they're usually going if they're being dragged by the girlfriend, the wife, the fiance, uh disgruntled, something, you know, whatever she is for that guy.

00:17:40.000 Um very, very few men initiate therapy, but if they do go and it's actually helpful, it's actually good, like then they'll continue kind of going.

00:17:49.000 Um, but it's usually one, it's usually hit or miss once you go in and it's not the therapist that really connects with you.

00:17:55.000 Uh, one of the biggest things that I kind of noted was I think that for a lot of clinicians, they're male and female therapists, their condition that kind of side with the woman with the woman.

00:18:05.000 Yeah.

00:18:05.000 Um, so as a result, and it kind of makes sense.

00:18:08.000 You could imagine if if you had to go on for couples therapy, you don't want to go, she she thinks it's super important, and the therapist has to make a decision when y'all both come in.

00:18:16.000 Do I side with the person who wants to do this and wants to pay?

00:18:20.000 Or the person who wants to leave and doesn't want to continue this. 0.99

00:18:22.000 Damn. 0.97

00:18:23.000 So unfortunately, a lot of therapists end up not being as um unbiased and objective and before you and it's even worse when she's coming by herself because n the their field is kind of moved too far to the in the space of kind of val always validating feelings, always validating. 0.99

00:18:40.000 I can imagine if a woman goes by herself, yeah.

00:18:42.000 Your husband should do X, Y, Z. You know what?

00:18:44.000 I side with your girl.

00:18:45.000 They're gonna give her what she wants to hear because she's paying them every single time. 0.99

00:18:48.000 So it makes sense.

00:18:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:18:50.000 So let's say this.

00:18:51.000 Um I've been of the opinion and of the, I guess, ideal that as a man, I don't need therapy.

00:18:56.000 Because I can go to the gym, I can work with my brotherhood, talk to them about what's happening, and get a solution.

00:19:03.000 But in your experience, do you think men need therapy all in all?

00:19:07.000 Not all men need therapy at all times.

00:19:09.000 Uh, I do think that it can be helpful, but I'm as a mental health clinician, I'm the first to acknowledge a lot of the therapists are actually not good to actually work with men.

00:19:20.000 They may be great to work with women, they may be great to work with children, but the same way men and children, I mean women and children have unique needs and challenges and experiences, the same is true for men.

00:19:30.000 Um, so I'm the first one to acknowledge that yeah, uh it would be nice if every single uh guy that wanted therapy can get matched with peep men or women that were really aware of like men's unique needs and challenges, um, the man the the hero's journey, uh, men's struggles, uh rejection, depression, you name it, um, and even just the societal expectations on men.

00:19:53.000 This is just something that a lot of clinicians uh and therapists and psychologists don't focus on.

00:19:58.000 Psych hacks.

00:19:59.000 Um, he he's uh one of the big reasons for why I wanted to do this um as a millennial, a especially as a black guy, is to kind of come out and kind of normalize more, not just having a a license, uh a psychologist on his level, but also a clinician on my level be able to say, like, there is a space and and and area for where men can get help and support.

00:20:20.000 But I'm the first to say, even if they're coming into me, if you're only coming into therapy, you're doing something wrong.

00:20:26.000 Yeah.

00:20:26.000 I'm gonna be telling you to go to the gym.

00:20:28.000 I'm gonna be telling you to make more money.

00:20:31.000 I'm gonna be telling you, but I you're gonna start to wonder if this is therapy or if I'm like a coach.

00:20:35.000 Life coach, life coach.

00:20:36.000 And and that's because I realize men respond better to that.

00:20:40.000 Um men, the the difference between men and women, generally speaking, when they kind of approach therapy is women tend and from a conversational perspective, they tend to feel better just by the nature of talking about stuff. 0.64

00:20:53.000 Just being heard, just being heard, validated.

00:20:55.000 It's cathartical.

00:20:57.000 Like I feel great.

00:20:58.000 And you and all every single guy on the chat, they're gonna say the same thing when their girlfriend or the girl that they're dealing with or their wife uh is telling them about work and she's going off about something or some problem with some girlfriend, and he tries to solve the problem, what she say, I don't need you to solve the problem.

00:21:14.000 I just need you to hear me.

00:21:16.000 Yeah.

00:21:16.000 So they love therapy.

00:21:17.000 That's like they lane with a lot of guys, they actually get extremely frustrated with that.

00:21:22.000 And the reason is because their lens is that men tend to feel better when the issues that are um are happening in their life are starting to get better.

00:21:32.000 And that kind of makes sense.

00:21:33.000 Like a guy who can get to a functional place where he feels like I'm getting steps, I'm getting strategies, I'm following through on them, and my life is getting better.

00:21:42.000 Now they feel better about therapy.

00:21:44.000 But if they keep coming to therapy just to talk about the same thing over and over, they're just gonna it is not going anywhere.

00:21:50.000 Back to the basics.

00:21:51.000 Many solutions, women need to be heard pretty much. 1.00

00:21:53.000 Uh yeah, generally speaking.

00:21:55.000 Okay, so let's get into dating itself.

00:21:57.000 Because obviously you're a married man, the kids.

00:21:59.000 Um, you've been through the dating experience yourself, and you mastered and became most men want a marriage or something.

00:22:05.000 Oh, don't say master.

00:22:06.000 Don't ask my wife that.

00:22:07.000 She ain't gonna say I'm mastered.

00:22:09.000 Well, you've hit a pinnacle most men want to hit, right?

00:22:11.000 Uh in a good way, I would say.

00:22:13.000 I don't know that most men in the US want to get married nowadays.

00:22:16.000 What do you want a girlfriend or someone that they could trust in to have kids with us at some point, right?

00:22:21.000 Um, so let's say this.

00:22:23.000 In dating itself, I think it's kind of cooked because obviously, you know, I'm on side, I'm in a dating space, and I've just seen Things go so far left is like what's happening here.

00:22:34.000 But ultimately there's a little bit of hope because not everyone's gonna be bad or has that bad intent.

00:22:40.000 However, from your experience of being a therapist and dating yourself, what do you think is the biggest reason women have issues with dating?

00:22:47.000 For women? 0.89

00:22:48.000 Because they got what they wanted.

00:22:50.000 They got feminism. 1.00

00:22:52.000 They got the perks of being able to get sexual liberation and freedom, the ability to be able to do what they want, wear what they want, sleep with who they want, and have kids when they want to.

00:23:03.000 Uh the main thing is that feminism pushed all of that, encouraged them for all of that, but it never warned them about the consequences of doing that. 1.00

00:23:09.000 Yeah.

00:23:10.000 Um, so that's actually the biggest issue is that men really didn't deviate too much.

00:23:14.000 They actually didn't change that much.

00:23:16.000 What really shifted and changed was was women's behavior, um, especially in relation to their sexuality. 0.99

00:23:23.000 Um, and that's one of those weird things where it's like even from a clinician perspective or a therapist perspective, a lot of therapists won't say that out loud.

00:23:31.000 Of course.

00:23:31.000 But it's true.

00:23:32.000 It's like if you have a woman in your therapy session and she's crying, she's depressed, she she's taking these antipsychotic meds, or uh, she's high on the issues with anxiety, all this stuff going on.

00:23:44.000 And then when you talk about her track record relationally, the only person she could blame is herself.

00:23:50.000 She she picked every single guy. 0.96

00:23:53.000 Uh her dad, her mother, uh uh another older mentor did not.

00:23:57.000 So you're picking and choosing every guy, and they were using the lens, they were using their feelings as the lens to screen men.

00:24:04.000 And so basically the guys who are the best at talking with game.

00:24:10.000 Yeah, yes.

00:24:10.000 Tell them what they want to hear.

00:24:11.000 Yes, of course.

00:24:12.000 When guys tell them what they want to hear. 0.99

00:24:17.000 Like before you know it, they gave them kids, they gave them sex. 1.00

00:24:21.000 And you gotta think about from older previous generations, it used to be like if we if we find out we're pregnant, now we gotta get a shotgun wedding.

00:24:30.000 That ain't happening nowadays.

00:24:32.000 Um, so and even earlier than that, it was it was just normal to be like certain things came with marriage.

00:24:32.000 Yeah.

00:24:38.000 The ladies decided none of those things come with marriage anymore, and then they're shocked. 1.00

00:24:43.000 They're like, oh, now no one wants to marry us.

00:24:45.000 And I'm like, Well, that's what you wanted.

00:24:48.000 That's yeah, so they won't they chose and wanted the aspects that were good.

00:24:53.000 Freedom.

00:24:54.000 And yeah, the freedom, the autonomy, the ability to be able to um leave when they wanted to.

00:25:00.000 But if men are watching and seeing body counts are going up, the attitude is crazy, um, the superficial standards that they're they're creating, especially based on their own money that men don't even care about.

00:25:11.000 If all of this is changing with women, and then they're seeing how often women in general are leaving marriages, um, putting men on child support, uh, breaking up families and households, a lot of men, especially in the black community, are now slowing down with having children.

00:25:25.000 So now you're getting a greater pool of women who's having kids with a small pool of men, and then there's a whole bunch of black men who haven't had any kids at all.

00:25:34.000 So that's that's so basically what's happening is the ladies are being frustrated with the fact that men are adapting. 1.00

00:25:40.000 And one of the big things that they don't like is that when men adapt in their strategy is you know what?

00:25:45.000 It's too hard to figure it out here.

00:25:47.000 I'm just gonna go abroad or I'm gonna go out of the race. 0.98

00:25:50.000 And that's that's for for a lot of them that's actually the biggest issue is the ladies never thought about the idea of a market where their men would go out of their race or out of their culture, out of their country to find other women. 1.00

00:26:04.000 Now I'm saying to the same ladies when I'm doing my podcast and stuff, ladies, y'all gotta really, really think for a second.

00:26:11.000 What quality of women did you turn into? 1.00

00:26:14.000 What quality of your behavior?

00:26:16.000 Like the what how are you acting that men were willing to go to a whole nother country to find other women?

00:26:24.000 Do you know how bad you gotta be for somebody to go to a whole nother country?

00:26:28.000 I need a passport, I need time off of work.

00:26:30.000 I need to prepare to go to another country to get a girl. 1.00

00:26:34.000 You're right.

00:26:35.000 Uh it's a bad it's a it's a bad um bet because if I see women leaving marriages, I could lose half my assets or even more. 1.00

00:26:43.000 I could lose a bunch of uh of my of my work I've done my entire life because she's just decided to get bored. 1.00

00:26:49.000 Yeah, why even get married or have kids?

00:26:51.000 Um and then let's say from from her uh side of it, if I get married, I'm good to go.

00:26:56.000 He takes my most responsibility.

00:26:57.000 If I get bored, I can just leave, I'm good to go.

00:26:59.000 So I see why men are going abroad. 0.97

00:27:01.000 Now let me ask you this question though.

00:27:03.000 What have men what what is men's-based issue in dating would say nowadays?

00:27:07.000 So women, of course, they chose uh feminism, of course, they chose the independent lifestyle. 1.00

00:27:13.000 But for men, what's their issue would say?

00:27:15.000 There's several different things that I'm realizing that men are struggling with, both on a macro level and a micro level.

00:27:21.000 So on the macro level, I think men are really, really struggling with the reality that the environment became anti-male.

00:27:30.000 The environment itself, meaning the education field, the mental health field, the political space, a lot of these space, even the family court system, it heavily skewed for women on the behalf of women. 0.99

00:27:43.000 So men are having to deal with the reality that it that things have been functionally very adversarial towards masculinity.

00:27:50.000 So as an example, this is how that is the propaganda and indoctrination so bad.

00:27:55.000 This is why you have grown adult women with functioning brains saying out loud they would choose a bear over a man. 0.97

00:28:04.000 Like it's that's that's how powerful the indoctrination has gotten.

00:28:08.000 So when you get to like the most recent election, and when the election didn't go the way that a lot of liberal women wanted it to go, you're hearing women say out loud, we're gonna swear off men for the next four years. 0.54

00:28:22.000 Like just insane, insane thought process, bears and and and stay away from men for the next four years, and and even concepts about like uh believe all women, me too. 0.98

00:28:34.000 There's there's so many different industries.

00:28:36.000 If you go to the educational field, right, uh one of the biggest issues in Dr. Umar who has his challenges, you know, he he got a lot going on, right?

00:28:45.000 Um the thing with him is he highlighted something that was a significant issue when you're trying to emasculate and feminize boys in the educational system is elementary and middle school and high school students.

00:28:59.000 What you're doing effectively is you're looking at the communication and expression style of girls and saying boys need to behave just like the girls. 0.94

00:29:08.000 So as a result, when you're trying to force boys, the same way in in therapy sessions, they're trying to force men to communicate and to think and to respond and behave like women, on the at on the educational front, they're trying to do this with boys. 0.53

00:29:22.000 So when boys are too rambunctious, they have too much energy, they're too physical, they get disciplined, they get kicked out of school, they get kicked out of class, they get put on ADHD medication.

00:29:33.000 And so starts the pipeline.

00:29:33.000 Yeah.

00:29:35.000 So basically so many different spheres have kind of uh weaponized and now attacked masculinity.

00:29:44.000 That's probably the biggest overarching macro issue that most men in the country are effectively dealing with.

00:29:50.000 Now, on the micro level, I would argue that because of a variety of different things, the overall general attitude, how women have generally speaking kind of raise the bar of their expectations of what they want from a man. 0.94

00:30:03.000 If you take the same guy that's making 45,000 today and plopped him 60, 80, 100 years ago, he'd have a wife and three or four kids.

00:30:11.000 For sure.

00:30:11.000 Now today, average women, Kevin Samuels will say it, a lot of other people would say it, these women are are assuming their value in men's eyes is based off of their credentials.

00:30:11.000 Right.

00:30:24.000 Stupid. 1.00

00:30:25.000 Like who told like like and I told you that. 1.00

00:30:27.000 Yeah, and then my wife would ask me that, and I and I've talked to other people about uh other women about it, and I and I even like make jokes about like do you you know what?

00:30:35.000 I was going to date you, but you only if you you only making 60K?

00:30:41.000 Now if you was making 90K, I would definitely date you now.

00:30:44.000 Like, you only got a bachelor's degree?

00:30:46.000 Nah.

00:30:47.000 A master's now I'm turned on like sounds insane.

00:30:49.000 Like no man talks like that, and that's how they view us, and they've projected it onto our our lens onto them.

00:30:57.000 And so as a result, a huge swath of men are getting very little access and very little interest from women unless it's transactional.

00:31:06.000 So on the micro level for uh individual men, the guys who don't realize what those standards are and are not adjusting to the market, either here or abroad, they're effectively stuck.

00:31:19.000 They're in no man's land.

00:31:21.000 I call them basically a walking genetic dead end.

00:31:26.000 That was a great breakdown.

00:31:27.000 Uh you know what's scary though?

00:31:29.000 I wish we all could smash.

00:31:31.000 We could all have a great sense of family and joy.

00:31:34.000 But you're right, most men won't because they need to get to a certain level where women see them as an option.

00:31:39.000 And unfortunately, um how things are, they probably may never.

00:31:44.000 So I guess the question is what's the solution?

00:31:47.000 Because obviously speaking, guys are where they're at.

00:31:50.000 Yeah.

00:31:50.000 Women are where they're at.

00:31:51.000 But no one wants to want to really meet in the middle.

00:31:53.000 And if they do meet in the middle, it's because they become successful, they work on themselves, or um, they appease what the woman wants.

00:31:59.000 What's the workaround you would say are cut solution for most men or women to come to at this point?

00:32:04.000 Uh the solution for women is going to be Mother Nature and Father Time jumping them. 1.00

00:32:09.000 Right?

00:32:10.000 That's what's going to happen for them.

00:32:11.000 Fullest fight.

00:32:12.000 Yeah, because uh the reality is they've seen countless podcasts, they've heard everybody say the different things, everybody's warned them about the fertility window, everybody's warned them about the wall coming.

00:32:21.000 Everybody's warned them about making sure their standards are realistic.

00:32:24.000 They've heard all these things.

00:32:26.000 Yeah.

00:32:26.000 So the women have all the information they need.

00:32:29.000 If if you're in 2025 as a woman and you're over the age of 32, 35, um, they've already made a volitional decision that the lifestyle they want, where they're at, it is what it is, until further notice.

00:32:43.000 So I'm not gonna say women are cooked. 0.90

00:32:45.000 I'm just gonna say what I am gonna what I am gonna say is is that I think this is actually, and your audience may get pissed off with me when I say this, yeah.

00:32:54.000 So so much of this actually rides on men, despite popular belief.

00:32:58.000 Yes, ladies control access to sex. 1.00

00:33:00.000 However, we are the ones that they expect resources from.

00:33:05.000 So all those OnlyFans subscriptions, all that money that we're giving to women that doesn't give us what we're looking for, all those think of it this way the very things we're complaining about, we're paying for.

00:33:17.000 Yo, okay, so I've been getting into economics way more.

00:33:21.000 Um studying the markets.

00:33:26.000 And you know what's crazy about right now?

00:33:28.000 We're at a huge downturn. 0.99

00:33:29.000 Most job market gets fucked. 0.98

00:33:31.000 Um rates need to be amended because for the rates, if they're not mentioned, we're cooked. 0.98

00:33:37.000 So you know what's what marketplace is still up?

00:33:40.000 OnlyFans.

00:33:40.000 What?

00:33:41.000 The subs have continued to write risen and it's still going up.

00:33:45.000 Wait for the AI though.

00:33:46.000 And I'm like, wait a minute here.

00:33:48.000 So these niggas can't pay rent. 1.00

00:33:49.000 They can't pay for their car payments.

00:33:51.000 What are they gonna pay for OnlyFans? 1.00

00:33:52.000 Bro, we're cooked. 0.96

00:33:54.000 So to your point, men, even in the worst times possible, will still find a way to pay for sex or women. 0.98

00:33:59.000 Yeah.

00:34:00.000 Yeah, but and that's true.

00:34:02.000 Um, A, it's a need, uh, even if it's once a month.

00:34:06.000 Um but um I don't think that that's sustainable in this sense for the women who are engaged in it right now.

00:34:15.000 AI is looking better and better, it's looking more and more realistic, and when it ends up being cheaper for the company, if he has to choose between this this thing that just makes me money and I don't gotta do much of anything with it, uh, versus the these women, it it's is it's gonna capitalism should have taught us that whenever there's the whenever you have to choose between profit and anything else, profit is always gonna be chosen first.

00:34:15.000 Yeah.

00:34:40.000 So my my my warning can add to that real quick.

00:34:42.000 So to your point, right?

00:34:42.000 Go ahead.

00:34:43.000 I've been propositioned by many OnlyFans uh managers to join their program or help them with recruiting.

00:34:43.000 Yeah.

00:34:49.000 I don't, of course.

00:34:50.000 But it's funny because they'll complain about women being lazy. 1.00

00:34:54.000 So they'll work, do some videos, make some money, and then like, oh, I could chill.

00:34:58.000 And that's the continuous motivate them to work harder, keep working, versus us as men, we just work hard.

00:35:04.000 If we can make 10k a week, we'll do that times four, 40k a month, right?

00:35:08.000 But for them it's like I make a bunch of money, I'm just gonna stop.

00:35:11.000 However, AI components now is continuously working, keeps going every day, all day.

00:35:16.000 And they make more money.

00:35:17.000 Yep.

00:35:17.000 So you're right to that point.

00:35:18.000 Yeah, so AI is coming, and a lot of the industries that I think women feel like they can fall back on as it relates to the sexuality is gonna be a thing of the past. 0.94

00:35:26.000 Yeah.

00:35:26.000 Um, and between the AI and potentially a robots, we'll see how we'll see what China's gonna come up.

00:35:31.000 Yeah, we we'll see what China's gonna come up with in the next 10 years.

00:35:33.000 So there's that, right?

00:35:34.000 And then on the on the flip side, with when I'm saying this kind of hinges on men, we're propping up entire industries that leads to women not respecting or valuing men. 0.56

00:35:45.000 We're literally propping them up, we're paying for them.

00:35:47.000 We're we we've all done it.

00:35:49.000 We we we we we had those late night situations.

00:35:52.000 We we we you know, we we uh sent the deposits, we did that, we all did it, right?

00:35:56.000 But now in hindsight, when you're getting older, you're starting to realize the very market That we're complaining about, we contributed to.

00:36:02.000 So my lens with men is starting with that part.

00:36:06.000 We have to re-evaluate like you said earlier, not all women are like that. 0.93

00:36:12.000 And what I think is happening is what we're taking the women in urban cities. 0.99

00:36:17.000 Yeah.

00:36:18.000 Which is all the poppin' cities, all the all the cities where it's a lot of ratchet stuff going on, all the cra craziness and chaos and all the debauchery, right?

00:36:25.000 And we're bringing that onto social media and making that a representation of America.

00:36:31.000 And that's not really realistic.

00:36:33.000 It's the equivalent of taking such a small percentage of the population of black males that commit violence and saying that's the black community. 0.82

00:36:40.000 It's not even close. 0.55

00:36:41.000 But that's how it's being shown and projected.

00:36:44.000 So, you know, my lens with this is I I think that guys have to re-evaluate if they're gonna keep I think if you have money and you're gonna spend it, you get to decide if you're gonna spend it on a one-night stand with a woman who may not respect you, may not like you, and will not ever care about you, or investing it in a woman who does do those things.

00:37:05.000 Now, if you're saying, well, Jeff, the US is cooked, the family court, this, the that society, you listen, stack your money and go abroad and have fun.

00:37:14.000 Yeah.

00:37:14.000 Um, my lens is if you want to see things change here in the States, the first thing is we have to start rewarding the behavior.

00:37:22.000 Okay, so to your point, I've taken it upon myself to do just that.

00:37:26.000 Well, reverse passport, bro.

00:37:28.000 You know what that is?

00:37:29.000 You're bringing them here.

00:37:30.000 They're already coming here.

00:37:30.000 What?

00:37:30.000 No.

00:37:31.000 Uh just I'm dating them.

00:37:33.000 So instead of dating the ivory twerkaholic woman on the street. 0.99

00:37:36.000 I'm dating the European or French or... 0.99

00:37:42.000 I don't know.

00:37:43.000 Abroad woman that comes here, right? 1.00

00:37:45.000 United Nation man myself.

00:37:48.000 I'm I stand for all nations.

00:37:50.000 Uh maybe I said one.

00:37:52.000 But at the same time, uh I can see I can see where I'm happy because again, they're not culturally tight to these norms.

00:38:00.000 They are more open to like family traditional, you know, values.

00:38:04.000 And of course, they're gonna leave.

00:38:05.000 So I guess that's both worlds.

00:38:07.000 I get to enjoy while they're here, have some fun.

00:38:09.000 And then back to business.

00:38:10.000 However, for most guys, they gotta focus on what's what's in front of them, which is American women. 0.86

00:38:15.000 That's why they go abroad. 0.97

00:38:16.000 So I think there's a way you can kind of get around this, but at the same time, ultimately, the actual this the solution would be to find somebody that's gonna be um all that and live in America.

00:38:26.000 Who's the what's his name that's runs the uh UFC?

00:38:29.000 Dan White.

00:38:30.000 Dana White had a quote years ago where he said there was never a time in the history of men where it was ever easier to stand out as a man with so many men quitting, with so many men going their own way, give up, they gave up.

00:38:47.000 The mark so many women women walking around and screaming and saying, Where's all the good men and where's all the men that's got something to bring to the table? 0.99

00:38:54.000 You can spend six months to a year and clear 80% of men.

00:38:58.000 Monk Mode.

00:38:59.000 Yeah, like it literally just pause.

00:39:03.000 Yeah, like pause for six months to the next year, lock in on you, work out, get a trade, get a certification, go back to school, do overtime or get a second job, and and because you're not distracted with the women, you're you're gonna become a beast. 0.96

00:39:21.000 And and the thing is when you're taking the guy who becomes a beast, the guy like you said, that's a hard worker, locked in, focused, not getting distracted, not going all the time blowing his money on BS, yeah.

00:39:32.000 That guy very quickly is gonna look very different than the average guy.

00:39:37.000 And the issue, I'm my my lens with all of these guys who are kind of struggling is overwhelmingly.

00:39:43.000 I'm not saying that they need to do this for women.

00:39:46.000 Women are the byproduct of it. 1.00

00:39:47.000 What I'm saying is most of y'all aren't doing it.

00:39:50.000 At all.

00:39:52.000 And and the guys that's the loudest in the chats, the guys that's loudest in the comments, the guys are saying, we don't need to do this or need to do that.

00:39:59.000 They're also the guys who get those outcomes and results.

00:40:02.000 Whereas with me, you know, uh ain't nobody know me two months ago, but I tried to apply it to my life.

00:40:09.000 And from 2930 to 35, I, you know, made substantial increases to my income to my image, to different things. 0.74

00:40:18.000 I had locks that was down to my butt.

00:40:20.000 I changed a lot of different things that I wanted to kind of drink. 0.57

00:40:23.000 Yeah, man.

00:40:23.000 Oh, man.

00:40:24.000 It's somewhere still on Instagram.

00:40:26.000 And I was like, I was I was outside.

00:40:28.000 I've gonna say that.

00:40:30.000 The people love the locks.

00:40:31.000 Um don't go, let me look, don't pull up my Instagram now.

00:40:36.000 Like, you know, so I'm just saying all that to say, like I had even as a guy who back then was doing okay, it's night and day difference between today and five, eight, ten years ago.

00:40:47.000 It's not even close.

00:40:48.000 That like I'm older, I'm wiser, I I I've I'm in totally different circles.

00:40:53.000 I'm at a totally different mindset in terms of focus and discipline and what I'm doing.

00:40:58.000 It's it that the the older young and the younger version of me is not even close to who I am now and what I'm capable of.

00:41:04.000 I'm making three times what I was 10 years ago.

00:41:07.000 Like, and and it's not from podcast money.

00:41:09.000 It's just like I'm just at a whole different lane and mindset.

00:41:13.000 So I'm realizing now that for a lot of guys, and this is the issue, mentorship, discipline, and accountability.

00:41:19.000 Yeah, that's their biggest issue.

00:41:22.000 Is that they don't have enough guys that has the time or willingness to be able to mentor them, and they have the willingness to actually seek those guys out and be like, I'm doing it now.

00:41:33.000 I'm in a social club, I'm working out, uh, I'm doing this, I'm doing that, I'm I'm starting different businesses, I got all this stuff popping.

00:41:39.000 And then I have these guys who's like, yo, man, that's so cool.

00:41:42.000 You gotta teach me, you gotta tell me, da-da-da-da-da. 0.99

00:41:44.000 I give No, I give them time, I give them an hour.

00:41:47.000 Oh, I I talk to them, text them, remind them different things.

00:41:51.000 A week go by, two weeks go by, three weeks go by, what you think happened?

00:41:55.000 Fall off.

00:41:56.000 Nothing.

00:41:56.000 Yeah, they didn't do anything.

00:41:58.000 And and guess what guess what guess how I view my time in terms of continuing to pour that into you less and less.

00:42:04.000 There's there's guys who wake way more money than me that's way more successful than me that's making five times what I'm making.

00:42:11.000 I know I may only be able to see them one on one like once or twice a season.

00:42:16.000 So when they tell me something or put me on to it, it's my responsibility to to run with it.

00:42:20.000 To your point, I have a billionaire friend and he wakes up.

00:42:23.000 Hold on, did you hear the flex with that?

00:42:25.000 No, I have a billionaire friend.

00:42:28.000 I I have a couple.

00:42:29.000 But I'll give it an example, right?

00:42:32.000 He wakes up at random times.

00:42:34.000 Yeah.

00:42:34.000 And if he calls me, text me, I want to be there to respond right away because I know it might be a business idea, an investment, a move.

00:42:41.000 So it's funny because a couple of times I fell asleep.

00:42:46.000 He called me, text me.

00:42:47.000 I missed it.

00:42:48.000 I missed out on a stock trade that was going up.

00:42:50.000 I missed on a lot of stuff that happened. 1.00

00:42:51.000 I was like, fuck, never again. 0.98

00:42:53.000 So dude, I'm literally up all day, every day. 0.99

00:42:56.000 Pretty much.

00:42:57.000 And it's crazy because that one connection, I've made millions off of. 0.99

00:43:02.000 Damn. 0.98

00:43:02.000 But again, he sees me willingness to like learn and grow. 0.98

00:43:06.000 It's not like, oh, give me some advice.

00:43:07.000 I'm gonna go follow it.

00:43:08.000 I'll follow it to a T because he's a way up uh further than me.

00:43:11.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:43:12.000 But to your other statement before, I gotta pay you for a coaching call or for the one hour, he didn't do shit. 0.80

00:43:17.000 So why do you feel insensible to helping me if even further? 0.93

00:43:19.000 You won't.

00:43:20.000 So to your point, bro, you gotta want it.

00:43:22.000 However, it's a mindset thing.

00:43:23.000 Absolutely.

00:43:24.000 Because I I could tell you all day, yeah, bro, I'm gonna be successful, get girls, whatever, but you can do the work.

00:43:30.000 Probably not.

00:43:30.000 So they're stuck there.

00:43:31.000 They would rat a lot of the guys that are stuck in the manosphere space, like the social media world, yeah, they they would rather look into rebooks on and watch podcasts about this stuff than actually just start to apply it.

00:43:45.000 And I view this through the lens of the guy who like wants to transform his body, he either wants to lose weight, he wants to gain muscle, and he's watching all these inspirational documentaries on Arnold Schwarzenegger and all these different pro professional uh bodybuilders and like looking at all doing all this research about the diet, but he doesn't actually do any of the work.

00:44:07.000 So at some level, it's like you're not gonna see the results if you don't actually start.

00:44:14.000 You know what's scary though, or what's coming next is like people don't realize the next phase of society won't be welcoming, it's gonna be destroying.

00:44:24.000 And for example, the how's the have nots, the what the the gap is widening into a level that's gonna be unrecognizable.

00:44:31.000 Yeah, middle class is over with, no middle class, no in between, it's rich and poor.

00:44:35.000 Yeah.

00:44:36.000 So don't take action now.

00:44:37.000 Oh, you can laugh all day, oh, fresh my own you guys are this and that, or Jeff, you don't know what you're saying.

00:44:42.000 Remember Noah's Ark in the Bible?

00:44:45.000 It's gonna rain, it's gonna flood.

00:44:46.000 This earth's gonna be destroyed. 1.00

00:44:48.000 Oh, this guy's talking shit, hasn't rained in years, blah blah blah. 1.00

00:44:51.000 All of a sudden, start drizzling. 1.00

00:44:54.000 Yep.

00:44:54.000 Starts to rain.

00:44:55.000 People like, no, save us.

00:44:58.000 We didn't know.

00:44:59.000 You've been worn for years.

00:45:01.000 And it's kind of like now, looking to the future of dating itself, finances, man and women, uh, you gotta evolve.

00:45:08.000 If you stay the same, you're not gonna go anywhere.

00:45:11.000 And we come in like you said before, you're cooked.

00:45:13.000 Yeah.

00:45:14.000 So I just wonder if people realize where they're at because this is a really bad time to be sitting there chilling, uh eating Cheetos and just saying, oh, this is funny, bro.

00:45:21.000 I'm gonna go watch these videos with no action, you're you're gonna just die off, bro.

00:45:25.000 Believe it or not, I actually think a lot of men specifically, maybe not as many women, but a lot of men actually do are aware of where they're at.

00:45:34.000 And that's why their actions and depression and uh uh deletion rates are what they are, is because they actually are very aware of where they are in the pecking order of society.

00:45:46.000 So they just give up.

00:45:47.000 Yeah, they gave up.

00:45:47.000 Okay.

00:45:48.000 Um my lens is I think I'm entering in this space as both to give a voice to men's issues and perspectives, but also to give a step-by-step guide of how guys can kind of snap out of this and realize that life is still a choice.

00:46:02.000 Life is still a decision.

00:46:03.000 Life is life is a reflection of multiple choices and decisions that you're making on a daily basis.

00:46:09.000 And my lens is I don't think guys are useless, I don't think it's hopeless.

00:46:15.000 I think that because of the like you said, the lack of focus, discipline, and motivation, and somebody kind of making sure they're moving in the right space in the right way.

00:46:26.000 Um too many guys are getting lost and squeezed up into this.

00:46:30.000 And and I've listened, what you said is legit.

00:46:32.000 Housing costs are crazy, the cost of everything is going up.

00:46:35.000 Women are their standards are what they are, so it it does kind of come off real dystopian in nature, especially specifically for men.

00:46:44.000 My lens is men who do the work can end up like fresh, where they can go abroad or the or the ones abroad can come to them.

00:46:53.000 Like I want men to learn how to adapt.

00:46:57.000 You if you if if you are a guy that's listening to this right now in 2025, you have to realize you are the product of men that didn't give up.

00:47:06.000 Whether it was uh uh hard labor in fields, whether it was slavery, whether it was war, you name it, somehow, some way every single man that led to this point ended up getting you here.

00:47:20.000 And this idea that, like, yeah, I know I got I can go back 20 generations, I know that we've made it through so many things, but you know what, God, it it the buck ends with me.

00:47:30.000 Like, don't don't be the don't be the the final name in your family line when somebody's looking at the tree.

00:47:37.000 And and you know, I I really really want guys to start to see that there is more to life in our future, and the more that you pour into investing in yourself in the next couple seasons, the more like you said, the more options that you and it's not it's way beyond women, like where you live, where you retire, uh, what type of work you can do, when you can stop working.

00:48:00.000 This is what the goal is of working this heart is for.

00:48:02.000 It like the women will just happen to be there as as as a as an after-effect. 0.98

00:48:07.000 This is about uh adding meaning to your life, value, and people seeing value in you. 1.00

00:48:13.000 So that's I I know a lot of people wanna they come down hard on women, they come down hard on men, but for me, uh no diddy, um for me, I'm in the lane of I want to come and it's more of an encouragement space of like if somebody came to me individually, would I be shitting on them the entire time and being like, you ain't nothing, you you worthless, you ain't you a piece of shit. 0.99

00:48:38.000 Like, would I be doing that? 0.99

00:48:40.000 Or would I say like, well, I I will use a little humor.

00:48:43.000 I'll be like, well, I can see why women don't want you right now. 1.00

00:48:47.000 But I I can see how they'll want you six months from now.

00:48:51.000 And then I tell you the steps of what you need to do over the next six months because you and you don't deviate.

00:48:57.000 I would argue most people sorry, some people need both, or they need a different strategies. 1.00

00:49:02.000 So to your point, someone needs a kicking ass, like, yo, bro, you're a piece of shit, you need to wake up. 1.00

00:49:06.000 But some women need salter approach. 1.00

00:49:08.000 Yeah.

00:49:08.000 So it just depends on the person.

00:49:10.000 Um, but you said something earlier that's very important.

00:49:13.000 You said um giving up was the choice people made. 0.98

00:49:17.000 I remember uh this is it's like what seven years ago, I was working two jobs, and I was like, fuck, bro. 0.98

00:49:26.000 I ain't not handsome. 0.97

00:49:27.000 I can barely talk properly.

00:49:29.000 Uh I have hardly any money saved up.

00:49:31.000 I'm working two dead-end jobs.

00:49:33.000 Chick-fil-A.

00:49:37.000 Shout out to Chick-fil-A, by the way. 1.00

00:49:38.000 Tell to them, yeah.

00:49:39.000 Um, but $7 an hour is terrible.

00:49:41.000 Uh and also, you know what? 1.00

00:49:42.000 Shit. 1.00

00:49:43.000 I left my comfortable uh home in Barbados, no bills, nothing, could just live life to come over here and struggle. 0.99

00:49:51.000 And I was like, I can just go back home right now.

00:49:54.000 It it ain't that serious where I need to like hustle.

00:49:56.000 But then I remember my granddad.

00:49:58.000 He with Kids America when he's young, worked his ass off, and he did factory jobs.

00:50:03.000 80 hours. 0.99

00:50:04.000 Didn't give a fuck. 0.99

00:50:05.000 Just worked hard. 0.99

00:50:06.000 And then he bought laundromats, bought real estate, he bought investment properties and assets, and then he retired at like 40. 0.99

00:50:14.000 Damn. 0.99

00:50:14.000 That's incredible, right? 0.99

00:50:15.000 Nice.

00:50:15.000 And I was like, hold on a second here.

00:50:17.000 If I just worked my ass off like my granddad did, I could do better or even, you know, the same.

00:50:24.000 I didn't give up.

00:50:25.000 I said, you know what?

00:50:26.000 If he can do it, why can't I do it?

00:50:28.000 And I did way more than he did.

00:50:29.000 That's not true.

00:50:32.000 My mom's retired.

00:50:33.000 Sisters live working for me as well.

00:50:34.000 So it helped me move forward because I saw somebody better than me or that did better than me before me.

00:50:40.000 Uh my dad wasn't there.

00:50:41.000 My dad just obviously left.

00:50:43.000 But he inspired me to do more.

00:50:45.000 So I think if you guys watching, even if like a small inspiration you could see either in Jeff, myself or someone that you see online, it's possible.

00:50:54.000 You just gotta want to do it.

00:50:55.000 And I can't force you to do it.

00:50:56.000 It's your life.

00:50:57.000 You can say, oh bro, you don't inspire me, cool.

00:50:59.000 But someone else might.

00:51:00.000 And that person could inspire you to do better for yourself in your family.

00:51:03.000 So it's a choice, man.

00:51:04.000 Uh at any day is a choice.

00:51:05.000 Facts.

00:51:06.000 And in and I appreciate you sharing that.

00:51:09.000 Uh I I knew some stuff about your background, but I didn't know it was I didn't know it was Chick-fil-A hard.

00:51:13.000 Bro, yo, niggas forget, bro. 1.00

00:51:15.000 I was struggling, man.

00:51:16.000 Living lived in my car.

00:51:17.000 Uh I couldn't find a job. 1.00

00:51:18.000 I was like, fuck, bro. 1.00

00:51:19.000 Like, this this is it, bro. 1.00

00:51:21.000 Like, I came here with no plan, but I need a plan.

00:51:23.000 And uh, I'll never forget.

00:51:25.000 The guy pulled up to see Starbucks in a Lamborghini drop talk with a with a girl, white girl to be exact. 0.99

00:51:30.000 Damn. 0.99

00:51:30.000 I was like, you know what? 0.99

00:51:31.000 I kept jealousy here. 0.99

00:51:32.000 I could be like, fuck, bro, like, why not me? 0.99

00:51:33.000 And I was like, why him not me? 1.00

00:51:35.000 And then I realized, you know what?

00:51:37.000 I need to ask him what he does for a living.

00:51:39.000 Because I don't know, I'm assuming maybe he's a scammer, I don't know.

00:51:41.000 But let me ask him.

00:51:42.000 And mind you, back then, I never saw Lambo in my life ever.

00:51:46.000 I'm from Barbados.

00:51:47.000 I see a BNW, I see a Mercedes, a GTR maybe, or Evo. 1.00

00:51:54.000 Some like, hey, bro, man, I'm stuttering like a motherfucker. 0.98

00:51:57.000 I'm like, uh, bro, I'm just curious, what do you do for a living? 0.99

00:52:01.000 I invest in real estate.

00:52:02.000 That's all I need to hear.

00:52:04.000 Real estate.

00:52:05.000 So what I do, I spent months on YouTube, studying real estate, grim staffing, bigger pockets, and then fast forward three years later, my first property.

00:52:13.000 Nice.

00:52:13.000 So see if nice, but everything I see, I take it as okay, why not me?

00:52:18.000 If you can do it, why not?

00:52:19.000 Why not me?

00:52:19.000 Yeah.

00:52:20.000 And I'm not better than anybody, but I'm willing to put in the work and shut up and say, you know what? 0.99

00:52:24.000 I don't know shit. 0.99

00:52:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:52:25.000 Teach me. 1.00

00:52:25.000 And that's it. 1.00

00:52:26.000 Yeah.

00:52:26.000 So there's two things that and in what you what you're talking about, kind of reminded me of that I try to tell all of my male clients, especially.

00:52:35.000 If they want to see significant change in their life, these are my two core rules.

00:52:40.000 And and you cannot deviate from these in order to get the out the outcomes that you that you claim to want.

00:52:45.000 If you do want them.

00:52:46.000 The first is you have to blame yourself for everything.

00:52:51.000 And number two, number two, you have to see life as a competition.

00:52:57.000 Because the guys who are winning already see it as that.

00:53:00.000 When we were at uh when we were at your well doing your doing your podcast, your studio, right?

00:53:06.000 Um last month, I distinctly remember a moment where uh like uh a person in the chat, at the name was AJ Rantz, he said and asked the ladies, the black women, if they saw themselves in competition with the other women in the country.

00:53:24.000 And what did each of them say?

00:53:26.000 Nope.

00:53:28.000 So the ones that were most divorced and least married was walking around saying they not in competition.

00:53:35.000 They're not in a race.

00:53:37.000 My argument is all the men that's not where they all the men that's not where they want to be in life, it's because they haven't approached life as a competition and they haven't put the blame squarely on themselves.

00:53:52.000 They've put it on society, things being unfair, they're putting it on women, they're putting it on culture, they're putting it on you name it, when then you're seeing other men who's also born in America, who's also living at the same time as you and going from rags to riches, going from sleeping in the car to having, you know, I don't know what y'all have nowadays, but like in Miami, but you get my gist.

00:54:17.000 Like the guys who put all the onus on me eat so, but again, this goes way beyond finances.

00:54:24.000 When you start to have the mindset of it's all on me, this pertains to when things don't work out with the woman you with.

00:54:31.000 Yeah.

00:54:32.000 When there's issues with your work, when there's issues with your income, the quickest way for you to come up with another solution is to assume it's on you and your responsibility to fix it.

00:54:42.000 Look at Myron.

00:54:43.000 Remember, we got um flack for our comments about you know, black people, you know, then boys. 0.96

00:54:50.000 How dare you?

00:54:51.000 We could have said, Oh, it's system, which it kind of was a system to be honest with you guys, but yeah, it was on us.

00:54:56.000 So, what happened? 1.00

00:54:58.000 Martin said, Fuck this shit. 1.00

00:54:59.000 I'm gonna work extra hard. 1.00

00:55:00.000 Yeah.

00:55:00.000 He does a stream every day now.

00:55:02.000 And that's like, bro, he might be the hardest working person.

00:55:05.000 No, he definitely is, bro.

00:55:06.000 And he said to himself, you know what?

00:55:09.000 Yeah.

00:55:09.000 I'm the issue.

00:55:10.000 And he fixed it.

00:55:11.000 So to your point, bro, you gotta put yourself in the box and say, listen, it could be them people, it could be them boys, it could be the government.

00:55:17.000 No, it's me.

00:55:18.000 I need to work harder.

00:55:19.000 And that's it.

00:55:20.000 But society's gonna say, oh, whoa's me, bro.

00:55:23.000 It's not my fault, it's their fault.

00:55:24.000 So that's the issue that you brought up.

00:55:26.000 And what's crazy is when you put the blame elsewhere, nobody gets to fix it for you.

00:55:26.000 That's very true, actually.

00:55:32.000 Nobody steps up to pay your bills, especially as a man. 0.96

00:55:35.000 Nobody's paying your coach, man.

00:55:37.000 Nobody's doing this or that for you outside of maybe your mama and your dad, if he's still like you, that's about it.

00:55:44.000 Like, there's not gonna be everybody got their own bills, their own issues, their own life circumstances and stuff, and very, very, very, very few people are gonna.

00:55:52.000 And if you ever want to know how for real this is, if men haven't experienced it themselves, look at all the celebrity men that go through major situations, coming out of prison, going through some major scandal or something, and then all the celebrity friends and guys that they was in the music videos with and at all the boat parties and everything with radio silence.

00:56:14.000 Disappear, disappear.

00:56:15.000 So you have to start with blaming yourself, and then that second piece is the key piece.

00:56:20.000 The guys that's winning, it's because they see life and everyone around them as a fellow competitor.

00:56:26.000 So this is the difference.

00:56:28.000 When you remember when you when I think you guys have had different conversations about uh the pay gap between men and women, and women are like, oh, you're just paying me less because I'm a woman.

00:56:38.000 No, if the guy that's that's your counterpart in the same place is doing overtime, he's working extra days, he's working longer hours, he's he's asking of of different incentives for how he can earn more, what he can do so he can move up in the company, and you're taking your days off, and you're you're using all your sick time, and and you're taking all this maternity leave, and he's not.

00:57:01.000 He's seeing the people around him as com as fellow competitors, and you don't even know you're in a race.

00:57:06.000 Remember Kobe Bryant?

00:57:08.000 He would show up earlier, yeah.

00:57:08.000 Yeah.

00:57:10.000 Everyone else.

00:57:10.000 So still later.

00:57:11.000 The guy that's better than almost everybody else in the league, yeah, the guy that's the best on the team, is is at a level of competition that everybody else is just cool with just coasting.

00:57:21.000 If you're it I'm this my I'm telling you, if I was single, if my wife leaves me, y'all ain't gonna see me for a long time.

00:57:30.000 Why?

00:57:30.000 Because my butt's gonna be working 16, 18 hours a day.

00:57:33.000 Yeah. 0.67

00:57:34.000 There's no if I don't have a kid, if I didn't have a girlfriend, I didn't have a relationship.

00:57:39.000 The best time for you to do this, then this is what I mean when guys that are single and not where they want to be in life, this is the opportunity of a lifetime.

00:57:48.000 No, you have no distractions, you got no bills.

00:57:50.000 Listen, my wife is expensive. 1.00

00:57:53.000 All right, like I'm I'm joking.

00:57:54.000 Honey, I'm joking.

00:57:57.000 Come on now.

00:57:58.000 But funny enough, she says funny enough, she says I'm high maintenance too.

00:58:01.000 So I think we actually we actually work out.

00:58:04.000 But listen, listen.

00:58:06.000 I don't get these suits often, but when I do, I make sure that it's a boss suit.

00:58:09.000 Shout out to the boss, by the way.

00:58:11.000 Um they what I learned and realized by observing it is the guy if you are single, if you have no significant other, you have the most time ever to literally put yourself in a whole new position one and two years from now.

00:58:27.000 And I'm talking way past where you are right now.

00:58:30.000 You have the time, you got the energy, you may even still have the youth.

00:58:34.000 What's your excuse?

00:58:35.000 Like, if you're just doing a dead end nine to five, get a second one.

00:58:39.000 Like, why do do all do uh do pet time and a half?

00:58:43.000 Uh like that you have so many other like Kevin Samuels would say this all the time.

00:58:49.000 Don't focus you shouldn't be focused on a woman right now.

00:58:53.000 And and I'm like, if if you start to look at life as a competition and blame yourself for everything, you'll get so much further.

00:59:00.000 So when you when you start to meet these ultra successful people, especially the ultra successful men, they don't take no for an answer, and they don't want to hear no or it's too hard, but how?

00:59:12.000 You know what's funny?

00:59:13.000 Uh they also respond like this.

00:59:15.000 So it takes back instantly.

00:59:16.000 It's not like I'm gonna delay or wait.

00:59:18.000 It's like, what's happening?

00:59:20.000 We got a solution?

00:59:21.000 All right, who has a solution?

00:59:23.000 Don't tell me no.

00:59:24.000 Yep.

00:59:24.000 So that's kind of like how they how they work out exactly.

00:59:26.000 Yeah.

00:59:26.000 So you at least know.

00:59:27.000 All right, we'll do some chats real quick if you guys don't mind, uh, Bill's and Mount Shortly.

00:59:33.000 And then guys, after ours with my coming up as well after this, so stay tuned for that.

00:59:37.000 With some girls and uh Jeff as well.

00:59:42.000 All right, here we go.

00:59:47.000 Plano Mun 2 says, Hey Fresh and Fit, thanks for all the knowledge value that you provide.

00:59:52.000 Hey, fresh.

00:59:53.000 Just want to know if do you know anything about merchandise for of spring?

00:59:57.000 Because I ordered two hoodies and one t-shirt.

01:00:00.000 I really hope you can help me.

01:00:01.000 I text you my number order two months ago.

01:00:03.000 You said you'll let me know to Noble.

01:00:05.000 Please help me with my order.

01:00:06.000 Uh let me ask Noble as well to follow up, but I think this should have been uh dealt with.

01:00:06.000 Thank you.

01:00:10.000 Let me just noble real quick.

01:00:14.000 What's your uh email, Plano?

01:00:17.000 Can you get it in the chat?

01:00:20.000 One sec.

01:00:21.000 Our plano needs.

01:00:26.000 All right, cool.

01:00:28.000 Cool, Jacob.

01:00:30.000 Uh progressives are putting DAs in place who free mentally ill offenders leading to repeat crimes.

01:00:36.000 I suspect the same agenda is spreading to therapy.

01:00:39.000 Men can't even choose the therapist to begin with. 0.54

01:00:42.000 Uh okay.

01:00:42.000 Wow.

01:00:43.000 So I'll I actually will speak to that a little bit.

01:00:46.000 Can you put that check back up?

01:00:47.000 Or if it's gone?

01:00:48.000 Oh, there it is.

01:00:48.000 Again.

01:00:49.000 Yeah.

01:00:50.000 Uh progressives are putting DAs in place who are free who free mentally ill offenders leading to repeat crimes.

01:00:55.000 All right, so um, how this kind of in a way kind of connects to the mental health field is when you have a large demographic of women who have been convinced both socially, politically, and in the mental health space that they are the ones that's right,

01:01:12.000 and all that's wrong in life is men, you're effectively kind of rewarding a narcissistic uh self-absorbed um mindset where the many of the women that are going to therapy saying they're healed and they're and they're they're getting better are actually getting worse.

01:01:31.000 So the reality is that they're getting they're they're being incentivized to feed into their own narcissism, and and the end result is they're convinced if things don't work, all my exes are the are the narcissists.

01:01:45.000 Not me, not me.

01:01:46.000 So the mental health space, the this the uh Jacob is kind of right, where it's like it's it's effectively turned into an environment where there's almost like this religious space going on.

01:01:58.000 A cult emotion.

01:01:59.000 It almost feels like that.

01:02:00.000 Yeah, and it has its own language, it has its own code, you're not even hearing so when a cult, a cult would function where people would say things like, Oh, or I can only deal with people that's in my group, right?

01:02:13.000 So now you're having you're hearing women in 2025 say, Oh, I can't date a man that hasn't gone to therapy.

01:02:18.000 Wait a minute.

01:02:19.000 Like therapy hasn't always existed in the history of humanity.

01:02:23.000 Like, so how's this now a measuring stick for whether or not a guy is a good husband, partner, or boyfriend?

01:02:30.000 Like, maybe we should start with does do you like him?

01:02:33.000 Does he like you?

01:02:34.000 Does he treat you well?

01:02:35.000 Does he does he come from a good family background?

01:02:38.000 Like, you could be open to therapy, but therapy's not the end all be all.

01:02:41.000 We're treating this like it's almost a religious right.

01:02:44.000 And then it's also what the therapist says is now being treated almost like a prophet, or like the priest, where it's like these people are instead of going into confessionals and sharing with the priest and saying all the things they did wrong, and then the the priest makes them feel better and say all's forgiven, And now you're going in the right path.

01:03:01.000 They're doing this with therapists.

01:03:03.000 They're telling them all the stuff that's wrong in life.

01:03:05.000 The therapist is validating their feelings and emotions.

01:03:08.000 And then before you know it, they walk out feeling better and they recharged again.

01:03:12.000 And now for a lot of these ladies, especially, they're coming back out perceiving that, well, I'm fixed.

01:03:18.000 So if I feel anything, that's a conflict, it's the men.

01:03:23.000 So I'm like, again, it's this is a it's it's it's it's it's effectively it basically I feel like the mental health space is actually started to kind of get almost poisoned in a way.

01:03:32.000 Who poison and it's poison and this is my argument.

01:03:36.000 If we as a culture and society are doing more mental health services and therapy intervention than ever before in the history of America, and the marital rates are horrible, broken families and households, divorce rates are high, more people are unhappy, single, and women's uh stats as far as divorce and anxiety are through the roof.

01:03:56.000 Well, guess what?

01:03:58.000 Maybe something's not working in the mental health field, or maybe something's wrong in that counseling room.

01:04:03.000 Definitely.

01:04:04.000 Because if we're using it more than ever before, and more things are wrong in our communities than ever before, maybe therapy isn't doing what we think it's doing.

01:04:12.000 It's for profit.

01:04:14.000 And people are starting to look at it that way.

01:04:16.000 Good point.

01:04:17.000 All right, W Jacob.

01:04:20.000 All right, um, so listen, I I I think uh we've seen here that the therapy industry is definitely um geared towards women.

01:04:31.000 So let's say I mean, so men's actual outlet should be gym, of course, maybe some therapy. 0.50

01:04:39.000 But what's the I guess overarching thing they can do to kind of get out of their funk?

01:04:44.000 Because we have all issues as men. 0.97

01:04:45.000 Uh we have we get depressed, we get like, you know, uh sad, we get, you know, damn, why think things are going my way. 0.77

01:04:52.000 What can men do to kind of I guess curve that a little bit? 0.91

01:04:56.000 Yeah, so the starting point, I uh I my honest assessment, whether or not it's a therapist, life coach, gym uh trainer, it doesn't matter.

01:05:06.000 You actually have to just start with meeting with someone.

01:05:08.000 You just have to start.

01:05:10.000 Because for a lot of guys, they're so sedentary, they're so stuck in their houses, they're stuck on the games, they're stuck on the porn, they're stuck in the house, they're just and they're kind of and life just kind of passed them by.

01:05:20.000 There's so many distractions, bro.

01:05:21.000 And it is, and it's way easier than ever before with the we're we're carrying our distractions with us, right?

01:05:26.000 So we have to literally start with one of those three outlets.

01:05:31.000 Um now, again, there's other guys that maybe they're into sports, maybe they're into certain social hobbies or networking, whatever.

01:05:37.000 You could do those things as well.

01:05:39.000 But the reason why I listed those three specifically a therapist, a life coach, or a gym trainer, it doesn't have to be all three, it could be any of those, is because those are the three that specifically going to challenge you from where you are now to where you want to be or need to be.

01:05:54.000 Also, and hold you accountable.

01:05:55.000 Yes.

01:05:56.000 They're going to challenge you to some degree.

01:05:57.000 Now, the issue with the therapy side is what I said earlier.

01:06:01.000 A lot of therapists don't realize what men need to be challenged with.

01:06:05.000 Yeah.

01:06:05.000 So if you go to a therapist, the wrong therapist, they'll be validating you.

01:06:08.000 Yeah, life is tough.

01:06:10.000 Yeah, you're going through a lot.

01:06:12.000 How does that make you feel?

01:06:13.000 Don't worry.

01:06:14.000 Like, well, you're still a valuable person.

01:06:16.000 Manifest.

01:06:17.000 Yeah, like I'm aware and know, and I went through that.

01:06:22.000 I went through a season of my life of of severe depression, wanting to take my own life.

01:06:26.000 Like, I really, really went through the lows of of life.

01:06:30.000 And it wasn't until I had a couple people that kind of stuck with me, sat me in there, and I'm depressed, I'm struggling with wanting to live.

01:06:39.000 I'm not thinking that my future outcomes were with women or life is gonna get any better. 1.00

01:06:44.000 Yeah.

01:06:44.000 And you want to know some of the key th things that they told me to do, go to the gym.

01:06:50.000 Force yourself to eat.

01:06:52.000 And whenever you get invited by any friends to do anything, even if you don't want to do it, just F and do it.

01:06:58.000 That was the that was it.

01:07:00.000 Oh, well, it'll take antidepressants for like a month.

01:07:02.000 But you get but you get my gist.

01:07:04.000 Where it was like, it's not just take these pills, and it's not just keep coming into therapy, it's like you have to be active.

01:07:10.000 You have to start to rewire what's going on in your internal system as it relates to your dopamine receptors aren't working, your your your energy is off, your mood is down, you're sleeping all the time.

01:07:21.000 You gotta eat, you gotta force yourself up out of bed.

01:07:24.000 You need to get a gym membership.

01:07:25.000 You I'm gonna challenge you, Jeff, to go to the gym four days this week.

01:07:30.000 Um twice a week, twice this week, you gotta go out with some friends out of the house, completely out of the house.

01:07:34.000 Just little things that in the moment seems like ah, but it it will move you to making you more charismatic, more motivated.

01:07:42.000 When you're going to the gym, is it is it easier for you to work out working out with other people by yourself?

01:07:49.000 For most people, it's it's actually when they're working out with someone.

01:07:52.000 So that's my lens of my lane.

01:07:54.000 Where I I genuinely believe, like, nah, I think guys can if they just start with one of those three things, they're already moving in a direction that a lot of other men are not.

01:08:03.000 Alright, good point.

01:08:04.000 Also, uh, Plano, uh, we got you with the uh email uh for the merch.

01:08:09.000 Uh, don't worry, bro.

01:08:10.000 Okay.

01:08:11.000 So I mean I'm not gonna lie, bro. 0.92

01:08:15.000 Therapy itself sounds kind of gay to me. 0.99

01:08:18.000 But how you break how you break it down, I can see where you have the Oh shit on the what men actually need, you know. 0.99

01:08:24.000 So that's really good. 0.96

01:08:25.000 Um so I was dating before marriage.

01:08:28.000 Uh, because obviously speaking, you know, your brother as well, you've been through the ringer, you've seen good and bad.

01:08:34.000 I was dating before.

01:08:36.000 Ooh, uh a little bit all over the place.

01:08:38.000 So I bet it was.

01:08:40.000 Oh, I was I used to be international man myself.

01:08:43.000 Uh I I was uh Yes, sir.

01:08:45.000 You dreadlocks, man.

01:08:47.000 I I earned a stuff.

01:08:49.000 Book, book, book, book.

01:08:50.000 That passport was stamped.

01:08:51.000 I'm gonna tell you that, right?

01:08:53.000 So what happened was so my my thing was I didn't have a significant issues with interacting with women before money. 0.99

01:09:04.000 Right.

01:09:05.000 Um from like 17, 18 on, I could figure out how to tell I couldn't get every woman, but you know, I would shoot my shot enough times where one of them shots were hit, right? 1.00

01:09:14.000 Of course.

01:09:15.000 Um but as I got into college in my first few years, I started to realize and learn what worked.

01:09:22.000 I started to learn about the jokes, the charisma, uh being more direct, uh how to dress, at least at that time how I thought I needed to dress, right?

01:09:30.000 And I was kind of figuring and picking up a lot of these things, but I didn't know a lot of the red pill stuff until heartbreaks, until breakups.

01:09:39.000 And then I was starting to realize, like, oh.

01:09:42.000 And then I was starting to learn different things of like if things didn't work out with this woman, or I shot my shot with her and she didn't want me, and then I was observing and seeing, like, well, when I show attention to another woman, now she wants me.

01:09:53.000 I was starting to learn that right around like 23, 24-ish.

01:09:58.000 Um, it was right around 24-ish that I ended up uh getting with my ex, uh my ex at the time, who was Bellarussian, white for the for those of you that don't know what Bellarussian looks like or is Let's go.

01:10:10.000 And that was my first and only time in an interracial relationship.

01:10:14.000 Now, out of all my different experiences with different women in the past, that unique that experience was so unique because as a black man in America, surrounded in growing up with a lot of black people, when I decided to date and pursue and be in a relationship with her, I saw the shift.

01:10:36.000 I saw the shift in family, I saw the shift in friends. 0.93

01:10:40.000 I saw the shift with people when we walking on the street, of people I don't know that are black, that's looking at me crazy and that's white that's looking at her crazy, right? 1.00

01:10:48.000 So I bro, I love that shit, bro. 1.00

01:10:50.000 I'm bro. 1.00

01:10:52.000 I'll be going to like uh an event, restaurant. 0.99

01:10:56.000 I see luxurious people, white people, I see Europeans, I see everybody looking like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:11:04.000 Yeah, nigga, I'm here. 1.00

01:11:06.000 With your with your race. 1.00

01:11:07.000 What you about to do?

01:11:08.000 Yeah, so it's funny. 1.00

01:11:12.000 Shit. 1.00

01:11:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:11:13.000 So my thing with it was I chose to do it.

01:11:16.000 Um, but I didn't realize how isolating it would be.

01:11:20.000 Honestly.

01:11:20.000 And it was because I genuinely valued a lot of the people who treated me different.

01:11:24.000 So when that relationship came and went, unlike a lot of other people who may not bring it up, who may not say anything.

01:11:30.000 Yeah, I brought it up to people.

01:11:32.000 And the reason why I brought it up to them was when I ended up dating the woman who I who is now my wife, when I started bringing her around, and I'm seeing everybody happy all of a sudden.

01:11:42.000 I said, Whoa, wait a minute.

01:11:43.000 Hold on now.

01:11:44.000 Now, where was this energy when I was with another person?

01:11:47.000 And what I said to them was it revealed to me that y'all weren't really happy for me.

01:11:51.000 Yeah.

01:11:52.000 That y'all really didn't have my like y'all, y'all were so focused on what y'all wanted that y'all weren't focused on what I thought I wanted and needed at that time. 0.99

01:12:00.000 Damn. 0.97

01:12:00.000 And it was cool. 0.97

01:12:01.000 But the thing is I had that type of relationship with friends and family where I can call people out and they can call me out with stuff like that.

01:12:07.000 But I coming out of that relationship, I actually made a volitional decision.

01:12:12.000 I told people I knew I will no longer be dating white women. 0.93

01:12:16.000 And they was like, nah, you lie.

01:12:17.000 And I was like, first of all, y'all like I've been dating white women for 20 years.

01:12:20.000 I dated one.

01:12:22.000 And that's the other thing I noticed is that once you date one, they've effectively decided you've always hated all-they call you a snowbone lover.

01:12:30.000 They call you a snowbone killer.

01:12:32.000 Yeah.

01:12:33.000 They call you everything in the book because you get one.

01:12:36.000 Yeah, and it's it's the weird like my it's like, how does it invalidate my whole teenage and adulthood years where I only was with black women?

01:12:45.000 It's like you never did it.

01:12:45.000 Yeah.

01:12:46.000 They don't exist anymore.

01:12:47.000 I'm like, bro, I dated many black girls.

01:12:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:49.000 You forgot what when I posted that shit on the book. 1.00

01:12:51.000 Now we know who you really want. 0.99

01:12:52.000 And I'm like, who do you where does this come from?

01:12:54.000 Right.

01:12:54.000 So I went and saw all of that, and I realized the hindsight for me personally, relationships are hard enough.

01:13:01.000 Just just trying to keep a woman happy. 1.00

01:13:04.000 It's just relationships are difficult as is.

01:13:06.000 I'm not going to add an additional layer of difficulty of this other piece of out all this extra stuff with family, friends, and dirty looks and people calling you a sellout.

01:13:18.000 I was like, I just don't want to deal with that no more.

01:13:20.000 But you know what's the best part about this?

01:13:21.000 Yeah.

01:13:21.000 You chose for yourself what you want to do.

01:13:23.000 Absolutely.

01:13:23.000 Off your experiences.

01:13:24.000 So I think as men, you can choose what you want to do once you're at that level.

01:13:28.000 Cause if you're beholden to family standards and you're not doing successful for yourself, you kinda gotta follow two in line for the most part what they want.

01:13:37.000 Facts.

01:13:37.000 But if you're owned man, you can make a choice.

01:13:39.000 Now listen, I'm a grown man myself.

01:13:41.000 Now, so at that time I'm like 29.

01:13:44.000 No, no, no.

01:13:45.000 At this age, it it wouldn't bother me nearly as much.

01:13:47.000 I wouldn't be as impressionable.

01:13:49.000 But at that season, I was like, I can't go through this again, man.

01:13:51.000 Because when I when my relationship ended, I looked at how many people hadn't been there during the entire duration of the relationship.

01:13:58.000 Where I could I because I know you don't even support my relationship, why would I come to you about what I'm struggling with?

01:14:03.000 Right.

01:14:04.000 What and honestly, that was what that was what led to my depression in the end.

01:14:08.000 Where me and other guys and a lot of guys will say the loneliest they've ever been was when they were in a relationship or marriage with a woman.

01:14:17.000 Yo, that's that's deep, man.

01:14:19.000 Um I'll never forget, like so.

01:14:22.000 I didn't do therapy, but I did like a session with these people in a community.

01:14:28.000 And it was like, hold on, that almost sounds like a seance.

01:14:30.000 No, no, no, hold on, hold on, hold on.

01:14:32.000 It was Touristmasters, but a subsector of that, right?

01:14:35.000 And um guys want want to become better, lawyer in there, real estate agent, uh doctor, bro, dating, had data dating issues, right?

01:14:44.000 And uh they brought up having a girlfriend, they felt lonely.

01:14:47.000 I was like, what do you mean?

01:14:48.000 Like you they live with you, they always run you. 0.89

01:14:50.000 But because either the family was on her side most of the time, or they felt like, damn, I can't do anything without their permission. 0.74

01:14:57.000 Yeah, which is by the way, their fault.

01:14:59.000 But even though they had somebody, they were still lonely.

01:15:01.000 Yeah.

01:15:02.000 And then I had the experience where I did a single mother, and it was her and the kid against me.

01:15:07.000 So I felt lonely in that as well.

01:15:10.000 So just because you have somebody doesn't mean you're not lonely.

01:15:12.000 Facts.

01:15:12.000 So to your point, you're you're right.

01:15:13.000 Facts, and and and when it's in the interracial component, you have to compound that with the fact that most people aren't supportive of the relationship to begin with.

01:15:22.000 Yeah.

01:15:22.000 And really ain't gonna support you through that.

01:15:24.000 So I so for me coming out of that, I was like, all right, I guess I'm gonna go super black now. 0.87

01:15:30.000 I was uh I was about to go to the. 0.97

01:15:34.000 I forced it on these niggas. 1.00

01:15:35.000 I said, listen, bro.

01:15:36.000 Oh, because you know what it was?

01:15:37.000 I'm I'll never forget this.

01:15:38.000 I was in Barbados and I was dating tourist girls, right?

01:15:41.000 From England, Canada, UK, uh, where else?

01:15:46.000 United States.

01:15:46.000 Yeah, United States as well.

01:15:48.000 And I I would bring her home. 0.97

01:15:50.000 My mom be like, when are you gonna bring a black woman black woman home? 1.00

01:15:54.000 Mom already did. 0.96

01:15:55.000 You you didn't see her a coup couple months ago? 0.87

01:15:57.000 So then she's like, constantly telling me, when are you gonna bring a black girl home?

01:16:01.000 Like, what's this was happening?

01:16:02.000 My uncle and stuff will happen.

01:16:04.000 And then it became a habit.

01:16:06.000 We're like, I'll purposely bring it home.

01:16:07.000 Okay, now what?

01:16:08.000 And then they got tired of it. 1.00

01:16:09.000 I'm done talking about this shit. 1.00

01:16:09.000 You know what? 1.00

01:16:11.000 And I forced it on them.

01:16:12.000 So now it's like, oh, is there an issue?

01:16:14.000 Because here's another one.

01:16:15.000 So I kind of push it where like, hey, this is my life, I'm doing what I want to do.

01:16:19.000 But but when it happened, everyone showed it because now I'm successful and do what I want.

01:16:19.000 Yeah.

01:16:24.000 I'm the leader now.

01:16:25.000 So you just gotta take that charge and say, here's what it is.

01:16:28.000 But to your point, it's a hassle, bro, because you gotta break that barrier and don't talk about it.

01:16:32.000 It's like a hidden like issue that people don't bring up.

01:16:35.000 Yep.

01:16:36.000 But family structures that have their own biases. 0.99

01:16:38.000 And for most people, it's like, damn, my mom and dad don't approve. 0.95

01:16:41.000 Alright, I'm I'm gonna change. 0.99

01:16:42.000 Yeah.

01:16:43.000 So yeah, it it's is and it's definitely definitely heavy in a lot of different communities beyond like the black community for sure, right?

01:16:50.000 Hispanic too.

01:16:51.000 Bro, I did a Hispanic girl.

01:16:53.000 Uh it's funny, because I was learning Spanish on Duolingo.

01:16:55.000 Her family didn't know I was learning Spanish though.

01:16:57.000 And I'll never forget, I was in the living room, and you were talking about, oh, this is your boyfriend, Novo.

01:17:07.000 Novio.

01:17:07.000 No, sorry, no.

01:17:09.000 Yeah.

01:17:09.000 And um, and I undercause this thing, Negrito or whatever, right?

01:17:14.000 So it's like, okay, they mean me.

01:17:15.000 And they basically said to the effect of, oh, uh, if he has money, we're gonna approve.

01:17:19.000 But if not, why you dating this guy?

01:17:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:21.000 And I was like, uh, gotcha, bitch. 1.00

01:17:22.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:17:23.000 Gotcha, bitch. 1.00

01:17:24.000 So then I was like, cool, I can see where this is going really fast. 1.00

01:17:26.000 We're just gonna have some fun in it.

01:17:27.000 But again, I'm not sure if I don't know Spanish.

01:17:29.000 I didn't know what's happening.

01:17:30.000 I'd have been in a situation situation where like it's her family against me.

01:17:34.000 Yeah.

01:17:34.000 Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

01:17:35.000 So that goes on to play.

01:17:36.000 That and believe it or not, her parents didn't speak English.

01:17:40.000 So that was a big big thing that I had to learn after you waiting for translations that you know ain't accurate.

01:17:46.000 Bro, you you you know the story about you, and they telling you it's about something irrelevant.

01:17:50.000 Like it just You never know.

01:17:52.000 Yeah, so it just got to a point, man, where I realized in hindsight, I wanted to be a little bit more my my choices of options was she was gonna be black here or black from somewhere else. 0.98

01:18:01.000 That was that was what she could be black from England. 0.99

01:18:03.000 It didn't matter to me.

01:18:04.000 What's it culturally? 0.67

01:18:05.000 Yeah, yeah, and she could be biracial black. 1.00

01:18:07.000 It didn't it didn't phase me, but that was just the intent.

01:18:10.000 I I did it, I I tried it, I was like, this ain't for me no more.

01:18:14.000 I'm not I'm not I'm not a um Dr. Umar level where I'm judging everybody for well listen, see you can have two different opinions.

01:18:20.000 Yeah, he's not with it, I'm with it.

01:18:22.000 Yo, and measures, I know Spanish.

01:18:24.000 You're so in the grito.

01:18:25.000 What?

01:18:26.000 Happy fresco, you can learn Spanish too if you want to.

01:18:26.000 Yes, sir!

01:18:31.000 I mean, but yeah, man.

01:18:34.000 To your point though, uh, this is why I say, as men, you have a choice to make.

01:18:40.000 Yeah.

01:18:40.000 If you're successful in your own right, doesn't mean you have to have a Lambo or have a Ferrari or have a pen house, but you have money, you could make moves, you can have options, you can have your own opinion, you can have your own choice.

01:18:52.000 Then you can make the rules.

01:18:53.000 Yep.

01:18:53.000 If you don't have that, you're beholden to whoever is your uh lender, whoever's your family, and you gotta kinda cow tell because that's what your reality is.

01:19:02.000 But if you become successful to your own rights, you can make a choice.

01:19:05.000 Yeah, so me going in the exact opposite direction.

01:19:08.000 She went to a HBCU, she she she's in a sorority, like she check off all the blocks. 1.00

01:19:14.000 She went to black, she grew up in the black church, like so.

01:19:16.000 Once my mom met her and everybody met her, they was like, yeah.

01:19:19.000 And I was like, okay.

01:19:20.000 So I think they view it now with like uh the Cosby's where it's like Cliff uh uh uh Bill Cosby with uh Claire Huxtable.

01:19:28.000 Yeah, I think they kind of view us like that now in a way.

01:19:31.000 Um, which is so weird to me, because I'm like, damn, like eight, ten years ago, it was like the total they was not seeing us as the Cosby's, I tell you that with me and um my Bellar Russian uh my Bellarussian partner.

01:19:42.000 So, you know, it is what it is, like it it it's life.

01:19:45.000 Um sometimes it works with people.

01:19:46.000 Uh it seems like it's working for you.

01:19:48.000 Yeah.

01:19:48.000 Um so my lane now in at coming out into this space as a therapist is not being like a lot of the red pill or or not with the red pill uh uh conservative guys that's all about like traditional marriage and this and that.

01:20:08.000 I'm not naive to the reality of culture and society.

01:20:12.000 So you're not you're not opposed to uh mixed race or like at all.

01:20:16.000 Not at all.

01:20:16.000 No, what I'm actually more interested in is now figuring out how men need to navigate uh marriage in modern America and deciding how they should approach relationships with women in the adversarial environment that includes divorce and alimony and child support that can be weaponized against them.

01:20:34.000 So instead, um, men who have that as an issue and they do want to date or pursue women.

01:20:40.000 I'm saying to men, I'm seriously considering like I'm I might even start writing about it, is like putting it down on paper of guys actually coming up with lifestyle contracts.

01:20:49.000 Now, this the thing.

01:20:50.000 Oh, I like this one.

01:20:51.000 You gotta treat her like she's on her uh her last year of her contract. 0.99

01:20:57.000 You could do annual re-ups.

01:20:59.000 Okay.

01:21:00.000 How do athletes play when they on their final year of a contract and they play in that contract year?

01:21:04.000 They're going in.

01:21:05.000 Right?

01:21:06.000 So the first, second or third time you giving this to her, she may be on one year deals, and we gonna see if she earns the right for a multi-year deal. 1.00

01:21:14.000 And the goal is is functionally everything, like think of it.

01:21:20.000 She can change her name.

01:21:21.000 She can um you can uh pay for all types of stuff. 1.00

01:21:25.000 You can um you could even give her a certain monthly stipend.

01:21:29.000 All of this can be in the contract.

01:21:30.000 And both of either you can void it at any time.

01:21:33.000 And you could even have behavioral expectations of what you should expect.

01:21:36.000 Now you can't put how many times you want her to have sex with you, because that's against the law. 1.00

01:21:40.000 Don't did it yourself, right?

01:21:43.000 So you gotta, you know, that kind of goes without saying, but a lot of the things that men are kind of stressing about in terms of from the marriage aspect, these are things you can actually incorporate in a contract working with a lawyer.

01:21:55.000 And I call it a lifestyle contract.

01:21:57.000 Uh to your point, fellas, this might sound crazy to you, but I know a couple guys here in Miami with a lot of money, and they have that in place right now.

01:22:04.000 Boom. 0.99

01:22:04.000 And they're happy as fuck. 0.99

01:22:05.000 You know why? 1.00

01:22:06.000 They know what they're getting.

01:22:07.000 It's no mis mystery or like, oh, what's happening?

01:22:07.000 Yes.

01:22:10.000 It's like, here's what it is.

01:22:11.000 I'm gonna do these things, you do these things, we're good to go.

01:22:14.000 Now listen, if you get to Myron or fresh the status, you may have two, three lifestyle contracts happening simultaneously, right?

01:22:22.000 They may know that they on shifts.

01:22:23.000 You know what?

01:22:24.000 You on Tuesday and Thursday, you know.

01:22:26.000 And and if she knows that her she got she gotta make meals for me two days a week, yeah, and she she decides for a month she ain't gonna do it no more. 1.00

01:22:34.000 Well, the contract is ripped up.

01:22:35.000 On to the next.

01:22:36.000 It's over.

01:22:37.000 There ain't no divorce, ain't no alimony.

01:22:39.000 There's a whole lot of things.

01:22:40.000 Like, I'm just suggesting, fellas, that this if you it if if marriage is too scary for you, there is another way in which you can approach and this is the crazy part.

01:22:49.000 If y'all think what I'm saying is so bizarre, approach women with it and see. 0.99

01:22:53.000 And in a market where women, hold on, in a market where women are screaming and hollering, ain't no good men and men don't want to pay for nothing. 1.00

01:22:59.000 And then there's a random dude that's like, hey, uh, I'm not rich or anything, but um, this is a lifestyle contract.

01:23:06.000 These are the things I'm looking for in a woman. 1.00

01:23:07.000 This is what I'm looking to offer for.

01:23:09.000 Wanna do this test trial run for a year, and to start off for this year, how would you feel about me giving you 1500 a month?

01:23:15.000 You could do whatever you want with it.

01:23:17.000 Today, a whole lot of women gonna sign up for, believe it or not. 1.00

01:23:21.000 You know what's crazy?

01:23:22.000 Uh time's really hard.

01:23:24.000 And if only matters isn't working out, if stripping isn't working out, what do they have?

01:23:30.000 Them lifestyle contracts.

01:23:31.000 I bought a second.

01:23:32.000 That's coming.

01:23:33.000 So for me, I think that that's gonna be, believe it or not, the next wave.

01:23:36.000 Um, is men are like again, men have already been adapting to the market in many of their own ways, but some of the ways they've been adapting have been also harming them.

01:23:45.000 This is a way of adapting that actually is mutually beneficial to you and the one, two or three women that you want to do this with.

01:23:51.000 So it's just a suggestion.

01:23:53.000 I gotta start writing on it and actually putting it down on paper.

01:23:56.000 So I'm gonna try to work on it this fall and try to get it out so people have like a sample.

01:24:00.000 It's a solution, man.

01:24:01.000 Um, you know, I think a lot of guys have their own ways of doing things, but uh to secure yourself, marriage is definitely uh hard to do nowadays, for sure.

01:24:11.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:24:12.000 I I I'll be honest with you, I felt like I got lucky.

01:24:14.000 Um and I've been married before.

01:24:16.000 So this is my this is my second marriage, and obviously it was with the Bellar Russian the last time, and that went to hell in the handbasket. 0.98

01:24:22.000 So with with this go-round with my wife, um, I honestly feel like I got lucky in terms of how we met. 0.93

01:24:28.000 We actually met on a dating app when everybody say dating apps is trash.

01:24:31.000 We met on Bumble. 1.00

01:24:32.000 So shit. 1.00

01:24:33.000 It ended up working out. 0.99

01:24:34.000 So for me, you know, to each his own for everybody, but she did what she did want me to cut the dress at one point, but then she saw who I was after, then she was like, I can accept this.

01:24:45.000 So you know, um so real quick, uh, there's a lot of people in the space that give dating advice and talk about dating.

01:24:53.000 Uh recently there was one that was exposed, Sadia Khan. 0.97

01:24:56.000 Thoughts on her.

01:24:57.000 Because obviously speaking, with someone in the space, if you're in the space that we're in, women don't understand your struggle. 1.00

01:25:02.000 They may pretend to or kind of, you know, pretend to say, Oh, okay, I understand I affiliate, but they really don't.

01:25:08.000 Yeah.

01:25:09.000 So she was exposed for having or being a mistress to somebody versus a girlfriend or wife.

01:25:15.000 What's your take on her?

01:25:17.000 Oh gosh.

01:25:18.000 Where should we begin, huh?

01:25:20.000 Well, I'll I'll start with the basics in terms of professionally speaking.

01:25:25.000 Because the personal stuff is it's a thing of like it's a lot of he said she said, you know, people don't really know for sure what did or didn't happen with her personally.

01:25:32.000 Because she says she was certified psychologists, which She's not she's not a psychologist.

01:25:37.000 She does, she's not, no, no, no, no.

01:25:39.000 And even over there, meaning uh in uh the uh what is she in the UAE or wherever I think I think I think Dubai or Dubai or wherever she is, no, she no, no, she's not, she's not just flat out, she is not, all right.

01:25:52.000 So there obviously different countries do have different standards, as is the case for different states, but certain things are are non-negotiables.

01:26:00.000 You not having a master's, you not having a doctorate, you obviously not having a license to be able to like I believe in certain states, even here in the States, you can effectively call yourself a psychologist, but we all know what we mean when we say somebody's a psychiatrist or a psychologist.

01:26:16.000 We really mean somebody who has their doctorate in said field and has been practicing.

01:26:21.000 So unfortunately, she has had a pattern of marketing herself as that, and then when you're also doing exorbitant high fees, six thousand dollars is crazy.

01:26:31.000 It's debatable because she's arguing one thing and and social media people are saying something different.

01:26:37.000 What I know is this one of the ways in which you can kind of screen out a grifter, is you have to compare people who are experts at the field and who have been experts in being at what they do for lengthy periods of time, typically a decade or more, what do they charge?

01:26:53.000 And then you gotta compare a social media influencer who doesn't have the credentials and are marketing himself as that, and what do they charge?

01:27:01.000 If they're charging anywhere close to or way more than that, start assuming it's a scam.

01:27:08.000 Number two, one of the ways in which you can always tell whether or not somebody is genuinely coming from a place of objectivity and actually trying to actually help people, is their target when they talk to their target audience, do they ever tell their target audience things that they don't want to hear?

01:27:27.000 So if you ever want to know about the male or female panders, let's say if they're talking to women, if they never tell women harsh or things, bad things or things that they know women need to improve on or change about themselves, Derek Jackson, then you know right?

01:27:44.000 Then you know this person isn't coming from any legitimate background to actually help these people.

01:27:50.000 Because just because it's a woman sitting in front of me in a therapy session or a man sitting in front of me in a therapy session, doesn't mean I'm just going to tell him everything he wants to hear.

01:27:50.000 Yeah.

01:27:58.000 A lot of it is, bro, you need to blame yourself.

01:28:00.000 It's on you.

01:28:01.000 When I'm looking at her and saying, so you keep saying he's this horrible guy, and you did, but you gave him three kids and and he never married you.

01:28:09.000 And after the first kid, when he wasn't helping you, you decided you was gonna give him two more because you thought it was gonna change.

01:28:14.000 Like that ability to be able to tell any population that you're working with or engaging with the truth of what it is, you'll always know the panders because they'll typically pick a side.

01:28:26.000 They'll do one of two things.

01:28:28.000 They'll either pick a stand, they'll either side with men all the time, side with women all the time, or they will cater it to the person or audience that's in front of them and never tell them what they need to hear.

01:28:39.000 So effectively they're so I won't mention some of the other people, but a lot of these other I'll take female, single female influencers. 1.00

01:28:49.000 They they really get off on trying to humble men on their platforms, especially rich and famous men.

01:28:55.000 Yeah, but the reality is is like they don't do that with women.

01:28:59.000 So now when you get the gist of like, well, wait a minute, what type of therapist, psychologist or or or or doctor or whatever, would never ever hold women accountable and always take very successful men and try to make them look horrible while the lifestyle they have, if everybody else adopted it, society would actually be worse. 0.76

01:29:16.000 So those are some of the key things that I would say from an objective standpoint, we can kind of step back from.

01:29:22.000 And then number three, a lot of these influencers, especially the ladies, the reason why they're so successful is because they're marketing their sexuality. 1.00

01:29:32.000 Yeah.

01:29:33.000 Now keep peep this. 0.97

01:29:35.000 When you're including mental health, psychology, life coaching, and your boobs is out. 0.70

01:29:42.000 Oh tell them when you're when you're marketing your sexuality in such a way where I don't care how attractive a person is, if they're a true professional, they're actually going to tamp that down.

01:29:58.000 Because they want you to focus on the message. 0.97

01:30:01.000 Yeah, like I ain't never seen her titties, bro.

01:30:04.000 Well, I don't think any of us have, right? 0.60

01:30:04.000 Respectfully. 0.60

01:30:06.000 Well, I mean like out there like that.

01:30:08.000 Oh, I'll give you a She's always dressed professionally. 1.00

01:30:12.000 Modestly because again, she's on camera. 0.66

01:30:15.000 Yes.

01:30:15.000 Talking talking points, not her sexuality.

01:30:17.000 Yeah.

01:30:18.000 To your point.

01:30:18.000 So think of it this way.

01:30:20.000 If you're supposed to be thinking about this.

01:30:21.000 Yeah, like yeah.

01:30:22.000 If you're supposed to be the person who's supposed to be pointing me in the direction of truth, objectivity, challenging me on things I need to learn and grow in.

01:30:30.000 And you're dressed in such a way to where that's so extremely distracting.

01:30:36.000 I know who you're targeting.

01:30:38.000 I know who you're actually trying to get.

01:30:40.000 So now when you have hundreds or thousands of men lining up to pay this woman for life advice, first of all, I don't know if there's meetups involved with this life advice, but I will say this nothing that's being said with many of these ladies is deep, is not profound.

01:30:58.000 It's not and and it in fact it's it's something that most people who do enough looking at social media and looking up great inspirational quotes can basically say the same thing.

01:31:07.000 Copy and paste.

01:31:08.000 There's in the in the the way in which you'll know that they can expose you'll always know that they won't expose themselves in this way.

01:31:14.000 They there's a cheat code of how you'll always know.

01:31:17.000 They'll never share the stage.

01:31:20.000 They'll never be around, and they'll never be on platforms with people who actually do the work.

01:31:26.000 Who'll always be and put themselves in positions with people who don't know their BS, who don't know they don't know what they're talking about.

01:31:37.000 Yeah.

01:31:38.000 You take Saadia Khan and you put her on stage with uh Dr. Jordan Peterson, you're gonna learn very quickly.

01:31:46.000 Oh, one of these people is an actual psychologist.

01:31:49.000 So all these people uh not all, but a lot of these people is marketing themselves, put them in the room, put them on stage with, put them in a debate, and you're gonna see very clearly that there's levels to this.

01:32:02.000 And that's actually the truth.

01:32:04.000 So to me, you know, I'm not making it personal about her.

01:32:07.000 I think she's more of a symbolic representation of effectively what's happened, not only to social media but the mental health field.

01:32:13.000 People are seeing as a great opportunity.

01:32:16.000 You can make a lot of money, but the issue is a lot of this advice and stuff is basically stuff your aunties could tell you.

01:32:23.000 It's not meaningful, it's not gonna go anywhere.

01:32:23.000 Yeah.

01:32:26.000 You're still you're effectively just taking people's money off false premises of what you're marketing yourself as.

01:32:31.000 And then anybody today can go and get a life coaching certification.

01:32:36.000 So for me, the life coaching certification is effectively in terms of helping people the equivalent of a high school diploma. 0.99

01:32:43.000 Oh shit. 0.98

01:32:43.000 Anybody can effectively get that. 0.98

01:32:45.000 Just to be honest with you.

01:32:46.000 Doesn't mean that it's not effective life coaches.

01:32:48.000 Doesn't mean that there's some good, l really good or even great ones.

01:32:51.000 What I am saying is if that's it, if it it if that's their distinguishing factor between them and the public, you should already kind of start to be kind of slowing down on your reliance on being super focused on all their advice and how much you're gonna allow them to influence you.

01:33:06.000 Because the barrier to entry is very low.

01:33:07.000 Yes, yeah, anybody can get it.

01:33:09.000 Any anybody can get a life coaching um certification.

01:33:12.000 That's nothing it's funny, the algorithm pushed her a lot too, which is very telling.

01:33:17.000 Well, what what did the thumbnails have on it?

01:33:19.000 Her face.

01:33:19.000 Her face and her other stuff features.

01:33:22.000 So, you know, it like I said, she she obviously is a beautiful woman and she knew what she was selling. 1.00

01:33:28.000 Um, and when you s when you charge such exorbitant rates while not talking about anything in depth, you're not talking about almost anything on a diagnostic, the DSN, the diagnostic statistical manual.

01:33:39.000 You're not talking about the nuances of male and female populations as it relates to anxiety and and depression and how it manifested differently in different populations.

01:33:47.000 You she she would I would acknowledge this that she did see some distinctions between the sexes.

01:33:52.000 Um, but then they'll always expose themselves when it comes to what it is as their personal standards of what they want and expect in the man, it'll always be different than what they're saying everybody else has to settle for.

01:34:06.000 You'll start i it starts to stick out clear as day.

01:34:09.000 Like, why would I tell y'all something that's not good enough for me?

01:34:12.000 100%.

01:34:12.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:34:13.000 Like, like if I wasn't married, I'd be doing the very thing that I'm suggesting.

01:34:18.000 And in the last case piece, now this is my personal stance.

01:34:23.000 People who are in actual influencers who are trying to help people in terms of life advice, um, Um marriage advice, relationship advice.

01:34:34.000 The person or people who are honest and objective about their own flaw faults, flaws, vulnerabilities, and past mistakes, are have a level of humility and authenticity that I think you can trust in versus someone who tries to hide all of that and tries to market themselves like they've always been this thing.

01:34:57.000 Stop them preach.

01:35:00.000 Listen, man, they wasn't he getting milked or something like that.

01:35:04.000 Bro, on all fours, bro.

01:35:06.000 Hey, yo.

01:35:07.000 But no, you made some very good points about uh kind of depreciating between real and fake, and I think uh she was exposed in real time.

01:35:13.000 So uh but again, you know what's crazy?

01:35:15.000 Even with the exposing, she's off clients.

01:35:18.000 Because people are not abreast to everything that's happening, and of course most of them are simp, so yeah, man. 0.91

01:35:23.000 So so funny enough, tomorrow, one of the key um uh I think she used to be a psychologist, uh uh doctors that really exposed her year a couple years ago.

01:35:33.000 I'm actually gonna be interviewing her tomorrow.

01:35:35.000 Oh, really?

01:35:37.000 Yeah.

01:35:37.000 So um she's very intimately acquainted with and have had several conversations with Sadia and even challenged her and tried to make her send her her credentials to try to never did.

01:35:48.000 They don't exist.

01:35:50.000 W what she's sending ABBA, what she's sending all these other people isn't legit things.

01:35:55.000 And again, people, this is the weird thing.

01:35:58.000 When you're when you're doing anything that's fake or fraudulent, people who actually do it, I wish I had brought it.

01:36:06.000 I actually funny enough, I flew down and brought it, I should have brought it with me today in my book bag at the hotel.

01:36:11.000 If I left and came back here 20 minutes from now, I have my license in my book bag.

01:36:15.000 I brought it on the flight with me. 0.99

01:36:16.000 Oh shit. 0.99

01:36:17.000 Like, you should be able to show it. 0.99

01:36:19.000 It it you'll have the number, people can type it in, and it'll pop up clear as day.

01:36:23.000 So when this when there's issues with the school, there's issues with the degree, there's issues with the license, this is all the effects of and and you gotta realize the m the the podcasting social media influencing space, just like politicians and just like any area where there's an important position in society where you can get clout, fame, no notoriety and money, it attracts the worst narcissistic, greedy types of people.

01:36:49.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:36:50.000 And if and if and if any person can know how to monetize themselves in that space, all they gotta do is find suckers.

01:36:57.000 You know what's funny?

01:36:58.000 Um, I've met many influencers in this space.

01:37:01.000 Many.

01:37:02.000 Behind the scenes, on camera, off camera.

01:37:06.000 I could call it my hand.

01:37:07.000 How many of them are actually real?

01:37:09.000 Generally, they live the lifestyle, they talk about they actually are honest with their audience.

01:37:15.000 For example, Sneeko.

01:37:16.000 Fake as hell.

01:37:17.000 But camera, he looks like he's perfect, you know, idol. 1.00

01:37:20.000 But behind the scenes, fucking liar, bro. 1.00

01:37:23.000 Fix everything, not real Muslim. 1.00

01:37:25.000 But again, the more you hang on with these people, you see what they really are.

01:37:28.000 Uh, we'll do actually uh any more chat spills at all?

01:37:32.000 And then guys, Kells Glove, let me know if you guys want to do a Zoom call or not.

01:37:35.000 We could do one right now, 30 minutes or so with um Jeff here.

01:37:37.000 He's a certified uh therapist, and of course, a brother here that knows red pill as well.

01:37:41.000 So shout out to him.

01:37:42.000 Um where can they find you, of course, for like uh podcasts, of course, uh coaching.

01:37:47.000 On YouTube, all my links are on my YouTube channel, which is Ask a Brother Podcast.

01:37:52.000 For those of you that's not familiar with the uh African American vernacular, brother is spelled B-R-O-T-H-A.

01:37:58.000 Um Why'd you say that way instead of brother?

01:38:00.000 E R. Uh, for the nuance of distinction, believe it or not.

01:38:04.000 Because although I'm using slang, I like to believe that a lot of people who listen to me don't believe that I come off um ignorant.

01:38:04.000 Okay.

01:38:12.000 And being able to show a different lens and perspective.

01:38:14.000 Like, yo, he's using brother in the title, but like when he actually breaks down this content, you know, I'm actually learning something.

01:38:20.000 Yeah.

01:38:21.000 And just trying to be a different form of representation for the black community.

01:38:24.000 I actually don't think that there's a lot of a lot of the people who have the most to say about the black community just also happen to not be in it or part of it, or are poor reflections of it.

01:38:34.000 So I've decided to be one of those people that's trying to kind of change that a little bit and then bring that into the red pill space more.

01:38:42.000 Uh, there are people that are doing it, that's killing it for sure.

01:38:44.000 Um, but my lens is having watched everything and kind of seen like men and women and everybody's frustrations.

01:38:50.000 A lot of women still are not engaging with this stuff. 1.00

01:38:53.000 A lot of women are still viewing it through the lenses. 1.00

01:38:55.000 It's all trash, it's all bad. 0.98

01:38:57.000 For many women in the last two months, this was their introduction back into the red pill space since Kevin Samuels. 0.98

01:39:04.000 So the differences is they're saying, like, oh, we couldn't listen to him because of tone.

01:39:09.000 And this channel, they do they attack women and this channel, they hate women.

01:39:13.000 So for me, I'm realizing now if I spread the accountability across the board, myself included, men, women, etc., I'm realizing now some people are a little bit more open to listening.

01:39:25.000 Um, so I decided like maybe there's a lane for me in this space.

01:39:28.000 So I've seen creators uh come and go.

01:39:30.000 Obviously, some are still here, and uh to your point, how you say your tone, how you say things, people do perceive it and they put in a certain box.

01:39:38.000 So for example, if you're too loud too aggressive, certain platforms won't have you on.

01:39:43.000 Correct.

01:39:43.000 If you're polite and you're cool about how you say things, they'll have you on.

01:39:47.000 So you would hit a different level than most people will because you're more polite how you say things.

01:39:53.000 Which I think it how it's said doesn't really matter, but to people outside of our space, how you say it matters.

01:39:58.000 So if you believe it or not, that we can't go.

01:40:00.000 Crazy enough, and I've been saying this to guys as I'm doing each episode.

01:40:04.000 I'm often targeting talking to men, talking to women.

01:40:08.000 I'm basically telling men, hey y'all, we've been doing this red pill thing for about eight to ten years for those of us more new to it, and then you got guys like Rahlo and others who's been doing it for a minute.

01:40:18.000 Roll up Roller, and you realize that 95% of the women are all saying the same thing. 1.00

01:40:25.000 It's the tone, it's how you're saying it.

01:40:29.000 Maybe I'm wrong, but isn't red pill about acknowledging the nuanced differences of men and women, and that the same way if I'm talking to women, they need to start to think and learn about what men's interests are, men's style of communication, what men want, and what men best respond to.

01:40:45.000 If men want to be really effective with women, maybe we gotta really reevaluate instead of trying to talk to them as men, maybe we gotta reevaluate how we gotta shift how we kind of hit hit home with trying to communicate to them.

01:40:58.000 I get your point.

01:40:58.000 However, we I mean, we tried that before, bro.

01:41:01.000 We're like, we're nice, bro.

01:41:02.000 They don't really care.

01:41:03.000 That's the issue.

01:41:04.000 This is the issue.

01:41:05.000 You the same way a woman can't share and give and do all these great things for just any guy, she has to reserve that for the guy that deserves it. 0.99

01:41:15.000 Men have to do a much better job of screening out the women that deserves that patience. 1.00

01:41:20.000 That that that that that communication, that actual ability of wanting to slow down and actually work her through a problem, versus being like, they all ignorant, they all loud, they all this. 0.99

01:41:30.000 The reality is is we get frustrated as men of always being put in the bucket of whatever women say is the worst things about men and saying this is all men are dogs, all men are trash, all men are this, all men are that. 0.99

01:41:41.000 We we get annoyed hearing that. 0.99

01:41:43.000 They feel the same way too.

01:41:45.000 So we just gotta do a better job with deciding and when I realize if I'm gonna be patient, if I'm gonna try these skills, if I'm gonna try these techniques, I'm not doing it on Sharkuisha who I'm not doing it on Sharquisha who yelling and screaming and throwing throwing plates at me when I'm walking in the house. 0.93

01:42:05.000 I'm going to do it with the woman who's earned the right for me to pour more into.

01:42:10.000 And vice versa, all these ladies that's wasting time giving sex and giving children to men that don't deserve it. 1.00

01:42:16.000 How about reserving that for the men that do?

01:42:18.000 So for me, it's just about teaching us of what it is that we should be pouring and into who for both sexes.

01:42:25.000 All right.

01:42:25.000 Yep.

01:42:26.000 Let's see your point.

01:42:27.000 What's the next chat?

01:42:28.000 Um Bills.

01:42:30.000 Here we go.

01:42:31.000 We got uh guys.

01:42:33.000 W Shore Fresh, can you get someone on for holistic medicine like Nate Belmar for Fitness Friday and Mo Habibi?

01:42:39.000 Habibi! 0.93

01:42:40.000 That would be good.

01:42:40.000 We had uh look on before, sorry, Nick on before.

01:42:43.000 We could bring them back.

01:42:44.000 All right, um, Jeff, we're gonna find your brother.

01:42:47.000 And uh we got fan for zone call.

01:42:51.000 If we don't, we could probably do it tomorrow or a different day, right?

01:42:53.000 That's cool.

01:42:54.000 Uh we're gonna find you, bro.

01:42:56.000 Ask a brother podcast on Instagram, Facebook, not sorry, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, we'll soon be having an X page as well as Spotify and Apple podcast very soon.

01:43:08.000 Um my store is gonna be coming out pretty soon with merchandise.

01:43:11.000 Um because this fall's about to hit, we're gonna be having some dope sweatshirts and hoodies coming pretty soon.

01:43:17.000 Uh possibly maybe announcing it as soon as the next week or two before the end of this month.

01:43:21.000 So thank y'all for that.

01:43:23.000 All of you who uh enjoyed this.

01:43:24.000 For those of you who did enjoy today's episode, uh, thank y'all for listening.

01:43:28.000 Um, like I said, you can follow my stuff on uh on on YouTube.

01:43:32.000 Now I'm born all of you now that's never heard of me.

01:43:35.000 All of you that don't know me, I don't just talk about psychology and relationships.

01:43:39.000 I'm just like everybody else.

01:43:41.000 I'm like fresh.

01:43:42.000 I'm like everybody else.

01:43:43.000 I give my opinions on what I give my channel.

01:43:46.000 So when y'all come on my page and say, oh, we heard of you as a therapist.

01:43:46.000 Yeah.

01:43:50.000 We don't want you talking about just shut the hell up now. 1.00

01:43:54.000 I'm going to talk about anything that I want to talk about on my channel.

01:43:58.000 Yeah.

01:43:59.000 But with that said, the difference is that I'm going to try to approach it through a lens where I'm trying to be more analytical and methodical about how I go through my pro my my ideas, my my subjects and things that I'm thinking I'll be targeting men, women, relationships, society, Republicans, Democrats, you name it.

01:44:19.000 My goal is just to bring truth to where I think it needs to be and then take it with me when I leave.

01:44:25.000 So that's my goal and I hope that uh you guys can join the journey with me.

01:44:29.000 Uh well I see you as a rising star in this space for sure.

01:44:32.000 Um others do too as well.

01:44:34.000 They call you the up and Kevin Samuels.

01:44:36.000 That's crazy.

01:44:37.000 And of course uh that is a heavy title to hold but you know I wish you the best man and I see where you're going I I appreciate you coming on as well.

01:44:44.000 I appreciate it.

01:44:44.000 Thank you.

Fresh & Fit - September 17, 2025

Certified Therapist Breaks Down Why There Can Be Hope In Dating

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