Dr. Orion Tarbana of PsychHacks joins us for a special Saturday edition of the Fresh Fit Podcast. Dr. Tarbaard shares his story of how he went from being homeless to becoming a successful Psych Hacker in less than 3 years. He also talks about his new book, "Why Women Deserve Less" and why he believes women should have equal pay and equal rights. He also gives us some advice on how to deal with the haters and how we can be a model of dignity and patience in the face of adversity. We hope you enjoy this episode and stay tuned for more episodes like this coming soon! Thank you so much for being patient with us. We appreciate you guys and we look forward to seeing you in the next episode. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and become a supporter of FreshFit Locals. We need your support now more than ever because without your support, we won t be able to provide you with the best quality content and experience possible. Thanks for listening and supporting the show. -Jon Sorrentino and the FreshFit Podcast. Check out our sponsors: FreshFit Lifestyle.co.nz/FreshFitlocals and Subscribe to the show on your favorite streaming platform. FreshFit Coaching.co/Rumble on your preferred provider. Subscribe to our newest sponsor, AddvalueAddvalue.co and get 10% off your first month with discount code FRESHFIT at checkout. at checkout and get 20% off the entire month! FREE PRICING at FreshFit.co and 5% off of the first month. Get all the best deal of the month and receive $50 or more when you sign up at Freshfit LMS and get 5-of-a-choice at $99/month and get $25/month for two months and receive 5-months VIP + FREE shipping when you enter the offer starts starting at $29/month get $24/place get $4 VIP + VIP + $4/month, VIP + they get a discount at $5/month discount, and they also get $10/month gets $19/month offer FREE Shipping starts starting + VIP and they get VIP access to the VIP discount. All other options are also get an ad-free and $25, VIP discount when they get my discount code: Freshfitlocals and a discount code
00:01:03.000We were supposed to do this yesterday, but as you guys know, we had to make that announcement to kind of let you all know what was going on.
00:02:31.000And then Fresh Fit, what about your vlog?
00:02:33.000Yes guys, I'm going to think about the vlog channel too as well just because of our current status so stay tuned for that but I'll let you guys know for sure.
00:04:40.000But I want the audience to kind of know your professional background and just let them know your credentials and a little bit about yourself.
00:07:31.000Um, and can you tell the people a little bit more about you, like your educational background, uh, as far as like, uh, you said you went to, so you went, you did your undergrad at NYU and then you did, uh, you got your doctorate, uh, Yeah, I got a master's and a doctorate in the Bay Area.
00:07:44.000I went to the California School of Professional Psychology where I earned both of those things.
00:07:47.000I joined the faculty shortly after I graduated.
00:08:17.000You have to be able to capture people's attention, for sure.
00:08:21.000Attention is the conduit through which things enter into our consciousness, and if that's blocked or distracted for whatever reason, you're not going to get very far.
00:08:29.000We're live streaming this on YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, Facebook, and Rumble.
00:08:34.000If you guys have questions for the show, send us a Rumble rant, or if I have a question for the doc, send us a Rumble rant, and we will definitely make sure that we, you know, answer the questions.
00:08:43.000We actually have a professional in the house, so you guys can go ahead and get your questions answered.
00:08:48.000And then, okay, and then can you explain to the audience real fast the difference between a psychologist versus a psychiatrist?
00:08:55.000Yeah, I was confused about this before I got into the profession.
00:10:06.000Two completely different governing bodies.
00:10:12.000The governing bodies are completely different, but they're not so separate as I just suggested, partly because psychologists really, really, really want to be a science.
00:10:22.000And for example, their diagnostic tools are based on, this is kind of in the weeds, but the DSM. AMA and APA, one is the American Medical Association.
00:10:32.000That's where psychiatrists are under, and then American Psychologists Association.
00:12:16.000Maybe I could find some sort of platform, some sort of conduit through which I can reach all these other men.
00:12:22.000Because if it works for these guys, it might work for all these other guys as well.
00:12:24.000And so that was really my motivation, is to try to have a bigger platform so that to the extent that I was doing good, that good could reach more people.
00:12:34.000The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce human suffering.
00:12:39.000So with that said, what would you say is the current state of men's mental health in the West?
00:12:47.000You know, there's a lot of people always talk about mental health, mental health, but they tend to kind of forget the male perspective on it, right?
00:12:52.000Because, you know, men are taught to be stoic, hold it in, you know, man up, etc.
00:12:57.000Which, you know, we advocate here on this channel, especially in front of a woman, but, you know, obviously you should be able to open up and be able to deal with your problems with your brothers.
00:13:43.000And the powers that be that want to demonize that or say that that's a component of toxic masculinity, that's just not true and that's not helpful for guys.
00:13:52.000So when they say, men, go to therapy, I just want your opinion on this.
00:13:56.000Does that actually work most of the time or is it more like a, you know, go deal with this and go over there, stay over there?
00:14:01.000No, a lot of therapy doesn't work for guys.
00:14:04.000And that's, I think, partly why they're under consumers of therapy.
00:14:08.000Like, women go to therapists three to four times more often than men do.
00:14:13.000They are by far the most significant consumers of psychotherapy.
00:14:18.000I have my own pet theory for why this is.
00:14:21.000So, let me just ask you guys, what is your, like, association with therapy?
00:14:27.000What do you think happens in a therapy session?
00:14:30.000Well, I've never had a therapy session, but what I would assume is...
00:14:33.000Even better, like what's your imagination about it?
00:14:35.000Yeah, so my imagination is you go in, you sit down, you lie on a couch like this, right?
00:14:40.000And you're just like telling the therapist your problem.
00:14:43.000And you know, you're just lying there and they're doodling in the back.
00:14:46.000No, I'm just kidding, not doodling in the back.
00:14:47.000But you get outside, they're listening to it, they're like, okay, yes, mm-hmm, all right, tell me more, etc.
00:14:52.000And it's almost, I mean, it depends on the therapist.
00:14:56.000Maybe they'll say, hey, you know, this is a solution to it.
00:14:59.000Or, hey, let me refer you to a psychiatrist maybe so you can get some medication.
00:15:03.000Or they're trying to get you to come back for more sessions.
00:15:07.000I've always been under the idea that therapy, it's not in their best interest to fix you up because it's like, no, they want you to keep coming back.
00:18:28.000I need a tangible solution, typically, to their problem, versus with women, it's more, I just want to be able to speak and get my emotions out there, and that will make me feel a lot better versus for men.
00:19:38.000Well, there's many different kinds of therapy.
00:19:40.000So I call what I do therapeutic coaching, which falls under the rubric of, let's say, cognitive behavioral therapy, which has a very strong behavioral component.
00:19:47.000My idea is that in order to feel better, you probably have to start doing something different.
00:19:52.000And so between every session, there's therapeutic assignments or behavioral experiments.
00:21:27.000One thing I tell people is reel out the confounds.
00:21:31.000Like, try to take yourself as far as you can on your own before you enlist to help with a professional because best case scenario, you don't need that professional at a certain point.
00:21:39.000So, Most people know in their heart of hearts the two or three things that they're doing that are really getting in their own way.
00:21:48.000And it's a better idea to stop doing the two or three things that are really getting in your way than develop like ten new habits that are good.
00:21:56.000Because the two or three things that are bad are probably more bad than the ten good things are good.
00:22:01.000Let's say I'm lazy and I like watching corn.
00:25:07.000And the problem why a lot of men don't get there is because they're failing and they're feeling the pain, but then they're anesthetizing themselves against that pain.
00:25:32.000Now that's more adaptive than some of these other things I mentioned, but it's still kind of a way of anesthetizing them against their own pain.
00:25:46.000People are much more like, they'll do so much more to avoid pain than they will to secure pleasure.
00:25:53.000You know, and a controversial take, I've talked about this, you know, I talk about how my parents disciplined me when I was a kid growing up.
00:25:59.000If I did something stupid, I was slapped.
00:26:01.000And that negative reinforcement of pain would keep me from doing that undesirable behavior that my parents didn't want me to do, and it kept me straight in a straight line.
00:26:09.000And people were like, oh, you shouldn't be hitting kids.
00:26:11.000I mean, I think I turned out okay from it, because pain, like you said before, is a pretty...
00:26:15.000Pretty good reinforcement that what you're doing is wrong and people try to avoid pain typically.
00:26:20.000So if you're trying to avoid pain, maybe you should follow your parents' rules or at least not get caught.
00:27:10.000Because I'm sure a lot of you guys have got almost, I think between all the platforms here, almost 10,000 y'all watching right now between Rumble and YouTube.
00:28:05.000I would argue that approach anxiety is probably the number one culprit for why so many guys suffer with women because they simply don't work the volume required to get the dating life that they want and it stems from approach anxiety.
00:28:24.000Can you tell us from a professional perspective Where does that fear come from?
00:28:35.000That when I was going out to get numbers, I had a rule for myself that I had to approach within five seconds of seeing a woman that I felt authentically attracted to because I knew that if I hesitated more than five seconds, I was screwed.
00:29:12.000If she doesn't want to play for whatever reason, she'll just kind of like look over here and hit the ball out of bounds and you can take your ball and go talk to some other woman.
00:29:28.000Most women are actually, you can approach women in a way that leaves them feeling better as a consequence of the approach.
00:29:34.000And a lot of women, even if, I mean, a lot of women said no, I have a boyfriend, wouldn't give me the numbers, just par for the course.
00:29:40.000But most of them felt complimented by the approach.
00:29:45.000How would you go about it where, you know, you walk up to them and, because it's a very delicate dance, right?
00:29:51.000We've talked about this with Troy with Cold Approaching where you want to be able to come in and show the girl that you are interested from a romantic perspective without necessarily coming off as a weirdo while still illustrating some level of value and it's a very delicate dance and how to do that.
00:30:07.000Everyone's fear is like, I don't want a drink thrown on me or I don't want to be called a creep, etc.
00:30:12.000That's what keeps so many guys paralyzed.
00:30:15.000How would you go about doing it where you're able to still convey that attraction without coming off as needy, without coming off as weird, etc.?
00:31:12.000He talked about how just holding eye contact a little bit longer than is socially acceptable already communicates that there's something else that we're about here.
00:31:23.000So doesn't that be done with words, which is great because that's why people go to Ibiza.
00:31:26.000Not everyone speaks Spanish, but they still find a way to get together and hook up.
00:31:31.000I mean, we're in Colombia and we're talking with girls and we don't speak Spanish, but you know, if you're attractive and body language says so much, right?
00:31:37.000Thankfully we have the advent of Google translate, et cetera, but a lot can be done with just maybe some hand gestures, a little bit of broken Spanish and, you know, just some eye contact and you can like, you know, convey immediately.
00:31:49.000Hey, I would argue she knows what's up even sooner when you don't have the language, when you have that language barrier.
00:33:53.000Guys, come on over to rumble, rumble.com slash freshafitguys, and we're going to read some of your guys' rants over there, because you guys sent in some crazy stuff, so it'll be funny.
00:34:07.000It's funny, you said when you hear no, it doesn't always mean like no in that context.
00:34:12.000So for example, let's say you're on a date with a chick, right?
00:34:15.000She's like, oh no, when you're touching like her body, she's like, oh, you're silly, no.
00:34:19.000But she doesn't mean no as in like, no, she's saying like, oh, I'm just being flirty and saying no, like playing around.
00:34:26.000So no, With intent, or for example, assertiveness does mean no, but if it's playful, if it's like banter back and forth, then it's more fun.
00:34:35.000That's right, because every word actually has two dimensions.
00:34:38.000There's a semantic meaning of a word, and there's the emotional content of the word.
00:34:42.000And containers contain anything that fit in them.
00:34:46.000So a word can contain any emotion you put in it.
00:34:48.000Like, you can say the word please seductively.
00:34:50.000You can say the word please threateningly.
00:34:53.000You can say the word please submissively.
00:36:06.000And this is where guys sometimes get into trouble, is once they get emotionally triggered, all they're doing is generally listening to the content.
00:36:16.000Or at least they're listening more to the emotional content than to the semantic information that you're providing.
00:36:48.000They call that sexual selection, right?
00:36:51.000Now, when a woman says no to a man's sexual advances, for whatever reason, deep in his evolutionary programming, this woman is basically saying, I don't think that you are fit to reproduce.
00:37:06.000And therefore, I think it's okay for you to go extinct.
00:37:10.000Like, the threat of extinction lurks in a deep unconscious cellular level in men's unconscious because they understand what is really at stake.
00:37:24.000But on a deeper level, since sex is life, it's also kind of connected to life and death and the survival or the perpetuation of one's genes into perpetuity.
00:38:11.000I'm like, well, no, the real reason we're here from a biological, raw standpoint, right, outside of the modern conventions that we enjoy today, is to reproduce.
00:38:20.000And I think everything that we do in life, etc., typically is tied to that ability to reproduce at some point.
00:38:28.000Whether you're a man and you're creating excess resources, or you're a woman and you're keeping yourself...
00:40:16.000And not only that, I think a lot of guys that might not be in this space or not understand the true psyche of female nature, they don't understand that.
00:40:49.000Maybe she literally just got off a phone call or whatever, and if you had talked to that girl maybe 20 minutes prior or another day, she would have given you a chance.
00:40:56.000A lot of the times, it's not even you.
00:40:57.000It's the person themselves that has something going on.
00:41:00.000Because since women are typically more...
00:41:03.000I want to get your take on women and emotion, et cetera, as well.
00:41:06.000But since women are more emotionally inclined in their thought process and their decision making, they might reject you off of things that have nothing to do with you.
00:41:16.000And rejection can occur throughout a relationship.
00:41:19.000Like a rejection can happen when you cold approach a woman, but a rejection could also happen after you've been out a couple of times and you text, hey, how was your week?
00:42:01.000So, it's much better to wait, if you can, for the woman to reach out because pretty much, regardless of the context or the pretext, when a woman reaches out to you out of the blue, she's basically saying, I've been missing you.
00:42:17.000It's like, If you respond to her then and you begin to communicate with her then, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
00:42:22.000You're kind of guaranteed a yes in that place.
00:42:24.000Which is if you're just throwing darts blindly at the board, you don't really know where she's at emotionally whenever you reach out to her, especially in the early stages of the courtship process.
00:42:33.000It's funny because we use that a lot too.
00:42:34.000For example, let's say we go on a date with a girl, right?
00:43:50.000I did an episode called The Balance of Attraction.
00:43:51.000Let me start there, which is basically like the axiom is no two people can like each other exactly the same amount.
00:43:58.000Like that is impossible, which means that in any relationship, one person likes the other person more and the other person likes the other person less.
00:44:07.000Like sometimes that can change, that can go up and down.
00:44:10.000There are different gaps and things like that, but you can't ever be permanently equal.
00:44:15.000This person is the adorer, this person is the adored.
00:44:19.000There's actually pros and cons to both positions.
00:44:22.000One position isn't necessarily better than the other.
00:44:25.000And most people, not just women, most men and women want to be the adorer.
00:44:32.000People don't think that they do, but they want to be the adorer because the adorer gets to be with the one they love and what better experience is that?
00:44:40.000They're the one who get to have the emotional experience in the relationship.
00:44:44.000They get to wonder about what that person is doing when they're not around.
00:44:47.000They need to get excited when their phone rings and that person is on the phone.
00:45:17.000But let's put it from the woman's perspective.
00:45:18.000A woman might chase after a guy who kind of doesn't really care about her, kind of doesn't, treats her like an option, not really a priority.
00:45:25.000And then she's eventually like, oh, this is, I am tired of this.
00:45:28.000I'm just going to go find some other guy.
00:45:30.000And so she finds some other guy who dotes on her completely.
00:46:00.000And so a lot of the value that they derive from relationships is the emotional experience.
00:46:05.000I think that high value guys, to the extent that they're successful with men, they can do two things.
00:46:11.000It's what they can do for women with respect to resources and lifestyle, and what they can do to women with respect to the tingles and emotional experience.
00:46:21.000And so best if you can do both at the same time.
00:47:48.000So from a psychological perspective, how much more emotionally driven are women than men?
00:47:56.000And their pursuit of relationships and their decision making.
00:48:00.000We always come to this general idea that women are more emotional, men are more rational.
00:48:05.000Can we go into a little bit more detail on that and women's yearn and need for an emotional connection so it's a really hammering home for the audience that you need to stimulate that?
00:48:15.000Yeah, it's really hard to know deep down.
00:48:21.000We're often socialized not to express them and oftentimes that stoic If suppression is adaptive, like it's something that we should do, I think it generally is a good thing.
00:48:32.000So it's hard to say deep down who is more emotional.
00:48:36.000Women are certainly acculturated to be more emotionally expressive than men, but that doesn't necessarily mean that their emotional experience is more intense or varied than men's are, per se.
00:48:46.000Would you say emotions, for them, is a much more important...
00:49:08.000I would argue, you said adore and adoree, right?
00:49:12.000That the guy, if he's like a player or wants to have that multiple connection with girls, has to go back and forth between both places.
00:49:21.000And if you can do that successfully, he can capture her heart and her emotions, but at the same time, come back to being that guy that's just like stoic.
00:49:29.000Oh, you're saying so he goes back and forth between being the adored and then adoring her, but when you adore her, it's got to be in short bursts.
00:49:38.000Back and forth, back and forth, and then it's like, alright, I'm chilling.
00:49:42.000You put her in the adored situation for a very small period of time, and then you immediately take back the frame, and you become the adored.
00:53:21.000Based on our understanding of human psychology, do you think a traditional 50-year marriage is too long, stable, boring, unnatural, and unrealistic for most millennials?
00:53:28.000Gen Z. That's a very good question, actually.
00:53:49.000Divorce was non-existent or highly stigmatized.
00:53:53.000I don't think that people necessarily were happier just because they were staying married longer.
00:53:58.000My grandparents got divorced in their 60s.
00:54:01.000That's when my grandmother said that her life began.
00:54:06.000So let's not necessarily romanticize previous generations.
00:54:10.000I do think that there might be I mean, clearly the traditional institution of marriage isn't working for a lot of people.
00:54:21.000I mean, 40% of first marriages end in divorce, 55% of marriages overall end in divorce.
00:54:26.000Those are absolutely abysmal statistics.
00:54:29.000It would be very, very difficult to motivate a rational person, especially a rational man, to move into marriage given some of the incentives and the laws in place with respect to that institution.
00:54:41.000So I think that we can approach different ways of partnering.
00:54:45.000I think that's kind of one of the Opportunities of this day and age is that we're kind of liberating ourselves from tradition in a lot of ways, but we don't really have anything better yet.
00:54:57.000And so we're kind of in this in-between state.
00:55:03.000But sometimes things have to fall apart before other things can be built.
00:55:07.000And I don't see why we can't have different modes of relating that work for different types of folks that still meet the needs of both men and women.
00:55:22.000Where I got this idea, there was this woman I read, she talked about how, I think it was in traditional Nigerian culture, there were 13 different forms of marriage in that culture.
00:55:36.000Like, it wasn't just one-size-fits-all.
00:55:38.000There were 13 civilly-recognized unions.
00:58:18.000And the idea here is that you foul strategically and intentionally in the service of your ultimate goals, the win, right?
00:58:24.000Now, if we remove all moral judgment from what we see in the sexual marketplace, we can see that a lot of what women do is rational.
00:58:34.000It's like when I'm young and hot, when I have the highest sexual marketplace value, I'm going to prioritize other things.
00:58:41.000I'm going to prioritize experience or genetics and And then, as my sexual marketplace value dwindles as I get older, I'm going to prioritize different things, and I'm going to try to lock down a lifetime of provision at the last moment when I might have more power in the dynamic over a man.
00:59:00.00030 is my turning point, where the average man's sexual marketplace value exceeds the average woman's sexual marketplace value for the very first time.
01:01:34.000And the extent that the woman is getting more out of the relationship than she's putting in, which is dating for gain, the flip side must be true for women, for men.
01:01:44.000Nobody has a problem with the statement, women mate and date for gain, but a lot of people have the problem with the statement that men mate and date for acceptable loss.
01:01:57.000Because guys kind of know that it's...
01:01:59.000You know, guys, they know in the back of their head subconsciously that when they deal with females, like, you're going to lose and you're going to lose some, right?
01:02:07.000You win some, you lose some is the phrase that a lot of guys will use when they're talking with women, right?
01:02:11.000But, like, girls, it's like, if they lose, it's a problem.
01:02:14.000They're on TikTok complaining about it.
01:03:04.000Women socialize differently than men do.
01:03:06.000I mean, I've dated lots of women and they've gone out with their girlfriends and they've expressed their support and then come home privately and told me, oh, this woman just makes terrible choices.
01:03:16.000But no one is going to say anything to this woman because I would be judged by the coterie of other women if I were to ask her to consider her contribution to the difficulty.
01:03:26.000So when they get together, they're just looking for a cosign.
01:03:51.000Would you say that, like, because of finding a mate, should guys get angry or understand that, listen, girls are going to do what they do, and I can't stop it.
01:04:02.000It's just a part of how they find a rational sense to do things.
01:05:21.000Because that anger is one of the only forces that is sufficiently powerful enough to overcome behavioral inertia that keeps people mired in their misery.
01:05:42.000I would let it control me to a degree, and sometimes I wouldn't use it productively, but now I've been able to really, like, focus on, like, if I get angry, I take that as fuel and go right to the gym and use that to stimulate a better workout, be able to put myself in a more painful situation that I normally would tolerate thanks to that added energy,
01:06:02.000And I think if guys are able to figure out this skill set of channeling it from A master into a servant, like you just described in your phrase here, I think we'd be all better off.
01:06:12.000I mean, we wouldn't have school shooters.
01:06:14.000We wouldn't have guys doing the crazy things that they do from anger and lack of being understood, etc.
01:06:46.000So, another line I have is that where anger is, understanding isn't.
01:06:51.000To the extent that you understand reality, you do not have to be angry.
01:06:57.000Emotion in general, especially anger, is actually feedback from the universe that your model of reality does not actually align with reality.
01:07:06.000And anger is a form of pain that manifests itself when our models of reality and reality actually come into contact and friction.
01:07:39.000By looking very closely, very carefully and non-judgmentally at the world around him.
01:07:44.000And building that model carefully from actual observation and contact with reality.
01:07:49.000Would you say that's what the red pill accomplishes?
01:07:51.000Where it explains things that might have frustrated you prior because you were unaware of them or you didn't know that they existed or they connect dots that you might have not seen, right?
01:08:02.000And I guess obviously, you know, we described what we call red pill rage, right?
01:08:06.000You get this stuff and you're like, what the hell?
01:08:49.000Yeah, that's the sign of complete understanding.
01:08:53.000I made an episode about this called The Truth About the Red Pill.
01:08:56.000And I do think, as far as I can tell, that once a man becomes more aware of some of these truths and some of these realities, he does inevitably seem to pass through a red pill rage.
01:09:54.000It's like, when I go into, like, the world of, like, you know, outside versus, like, more blueprint mindset, I understand what it is.
01:10:02.000I don't get mad at it, but I understand, and for me understanding, I could go into a room with people that I don't really want to say I align with their values, but...
01:10:10.000I know to get a certain outcome, I have to be in this environment, play the game, and then come out with a W because I know and I understand what it really is.
01:10:26.000I don't know if there's an active conspiracy, but I didn't have a lot of experience when I was younger, and so I went to TVs and movies, and I thought that by watching these That I could learn about what women wanted,
01:11:36.000And so what they did is they asked a bunch of guys to rate a few thousand women in terms of both their faces and their appearance in terms of just their physical attractiveness.
01:11:46.000And they took the ones that were like rated nine or above.
01:12:34.000I mean, I've been really consistently surprised when, through my own personal interactions with some women, that most women seem to feel like, and you know, God bless them.
01:12:46.000They can get the best deal that they can.
01:13:45.000I've always been under their impression, or at least what I've realized with very attractive women is the number one amplifier when it comes to being attractive as a guy is absolutely status, right?
01:13:52.000You look at a celeb, look at a Leonardo DiCaprio.
01:13:56.000If he didn't do Titanic and he was a regular guy walking down the street and we didn't know him for his acting accolades, you wouldn't really...
01:14:03.000He'd be like, oh yeah, he's an average guy.
01:15:29.000That's the halo effect, is that once we decide that this person is high status, then we assume they're also intelligent and kind and patient and just a really wonderful human being.
01:16:10.000You know, from what I see, right, women are more interested in the way that they look.
01:16:14.000They're more interested in themselves.
01:16:15.000They typically tend to look at what can I gain out of the situation.
01:16:17.000We talked earlier about how women always make sure that they operate at a net positive when dealing with the men versus men are more okay with dealing with a net negative if required to get what they want.
01:16:27.000Would you say that women in general have more narcissistic tendencies than men do?
01:16:32.000Okay, so this is what I'll say about this.
01:17:00.000No, I mean like, because you're saying when you're a baby and the baby's crying, he doesn't give a fuck about you getting up at 2 or 3 in the morning.
01:18:25.000She thought that people were just so kind and giving.
01:18:29.000And everywhere she went, men especially were just like offering to give her things.
01:18:34.000And she thought that's because she was a good person.
01:18:37.000And that these men could see that, like on the surface, her goodness.
01:18:43.000We did a couple of experiments that kind of disabused her of this.
01:18:46.000Like, for example, there was a guy that she knew casually that was hitting her up, trying to get her to come out to New York while she's dating me in California.
01:18:55.000And I said, you know, this is a little sketchy.
01:20:55.000It's a much less professional and well put together Statement that you would say.
01:21:02.000Well, the game changes when that happens.
01:21:04.000That's why you go to some places and you'll see the 40-year-old women, the 50-year-old women, they are aggressive because they're not going to get approached otherwise.
01:21:42.000And I think once guys understand that, like, And I've always used the analogy, right?
01:21:47.000To like kind of put guys, because a lot of guys get angry at women for doing the things that they do, exercising hypergamy, not giving, you know, them a chance or blah, blah, blah.
01:21:56.000And what I always tell guys is imagine that, you know, as soon as you turn 18, Cam Kardashian sent you a DM and said, I'll fly you out to LA and we can hang out.
01:22:04.000Or, you know, hot girls always DM'd you and sent you money on Zelle or gave you cash apps, etc.
01:22:10.000You would think that the world is hunky-dory and fantastic too.
01:22:13.000And you would think, yo, I'm special just because I'm a man and I'm 18.
01:22:29.000What were the things, just so the audience could learn, what were the things that you noticed that you had to say no a lot to when dealing with an attractive woman?
01:22:38.000Because I've always told guys on this podcast that nines and tens a lot of the times come with headaches that a lot of guys are not prepared to deal with.
01:22:46.000And one of them is being able to say no Even when you might not want to say no, because you need to be able to let her know who the boss is.
01:22:56.000What would you say are some of the common things that guys have to deal with when they're dealing with very attractive women and the power of saying no?
01:23:02.000Well, in my personal experience, it's this strange expectation that she can access my attention whenever she wants.
01:26:57.000Some people might not agree with me on that or whatever, but I think since it's easier for women to get sex, I would argue as a by-part of them being able to get sex quickly, they also can cheat just as easily since the threshold to break is so simple for them.
01:27:14.000Well, different people have different boundaries, right?
01:27:16.000And one way that I thought about this, because actually in this relationship, there was a lot of jealousy coming from her, where I would interact with women.
01:27:26.000And she was like, well, guys, we'll just sleep with anything.
01:27:29.000And I was like, I need you to trust me.
01:27:31.000I can engage with a woman without doing anything I said I'm not going to do.
01:27:56.000Other people have different thresholds.
01:27:59.000What I do seem to see is that cheating means different things to different people.
01:28:03.000Like in that relationship, I heard the word emotional cheating for the first time.
01:28:06.000I had never heard of what emotional cheating was before.
01:28:11.000But I've since discovered that, again, this is going to be an overgeneralization, but men care more about a woman's sexual fidelity and women care more about a man's emotional fidelity.
01:28:44.000The idea about emotional cheating is that the woman is afraid that if a man becomes emotionally involved with somebody else, he's going to leave.
01:29:18.000I don't know what I would do in that case.
01:29:20.000But what I would say is, if a woman has violated one of our understandings, then I just implement the consequence that I discussed previously.
01:29:46.000I'm a lot more restrictive with females.
01:29:50.000And I think the reason why is because I look at it that since women have, and I'd love to open this as a general discussion because a lot of people say, Myron, you have crazy boundaries.
01:30:02.000And my reasoning for that is that since women have an abundance of options, the sexual marketplace is completely open to them.
01:30:10.000They can literally get a guy anytime they want.
01:30:14.000I think with unlimited access, you need to go ahead and match that level of unlimited access that they have and limit it significantly to a certain degree.
01:30:24.000Because you have to almost overcompensate for the options she has.
01:30:27.000And my thing is to deal with the current sexual marketplace in today's day and age where I don't have the social constructs of shame, family, religion, etc.
01:30:38.000We live in a deregulated sexual marketplace.
01:30:40.000Now I have to regulate the sexual marketplace for her.
01:30:48.000I'm solely responsible for regulating the sexual marketplace because ain't nobody else going to regulate it thanks to feminism.
01:30:53.000I put these boundaries in place to the point where I can mitigate the most risk.
01:30:57.000I know some guys can go ahead and accept a little bit more risk than others.
01:31:00.000But for me, I look at it like We live in an era and a time where women are incentivized to be hoes, and I need to do what I need to do and let her know that you can behave that way, but understand that I am not going to be here if you go ahead and participate in certain avenues that might put you in a situation that might hurt this relationship.
01:31:19.000You have unlimited access, I need to limit it.
01:31:22.000Not limit it overtly, like, you can't do this, but limit it through my reaction to what you do with your unlimited access, if that makes sense.
01:31:30.000Well, yeah, that does make a lot of sense.
01:31:32.000I think you're talking about boundaries, and everyone can have boundaries in their relationships.
01:31:38.000Another way to counter women's greater optionality in the sexual marketplace is, of course, to increase your own optionality in the marketplace.
01:34:25.000Because they often will tell on themselves.
01:34:28.000They'll hang themselves with too much rope.
01:34:29.000And so if you come off as too controlling or restrictive, you never really know if they're responding to those behaviors or if it's really kind of her personality or her temperament or how she is.
01:34:41.000Because they can play a game to fit what you want, but you don't know what that person is until they mess up.
01:34:46.000I also wanted to say one thing, too, to clarify, because I don't want guys, because a lot of people take things out of context, like, okay, Myra, I'm going to do what you said.
01:35:04.000Then, when that conversation comes up and she's like, I want to be your girl or something like that, which I always think I should let girls ask them out, right?
01:35:14.000Then you can go ahead and say your stipulations because if she's asking you, now you can dictate how the relationship is going to go because she's asking you and you're in the adored position and you're able to dictate your terms.
01:35:28.000That's when I say, well, it's going to be tough to be with a guy like me.
01:36:16.000Real quick, we got 10,000 y'all watching on Rumble, man.
01:36:20.000So yo, on a Saturday, when we're not normally on, but this is a special episode because you guys can see from this conversation, we're going to give you guys a banger.
01:36:29.000So guys, from this point forward, We're going to read 20 and up Rumble Rants, right?
01:36:33.000But I will read the ones that came through and I'll keep flying through these because I still have a bunch more questions, man.
01:36:57.000Well, if you're mentioning that you're Catholic and you're a virgin, I suppose that you're saving yourself for marriage and that your religion is a very important aspect of your identity.
01:37:05.000I think that you should probably try to keep your eyes open on Sundays when you're in church.
01:37:11.000That's probably where you're going to find a woman who resonates with that lifestyle.
01:37:15.000And I think it's going to be very important for you to have a woman like that.
01:37:19.000And it's going to be very difficult for you to have the kind of relationship you want with a woman who isn't already in that tradition.
01:37:25.000Do you think he should, in your opinion, right, do you think...
01:37:30.000I mean, if virginity is required and you refuse to do it before marriage, I respect that, but do you think he's setting himself up for potential disappointment and or failure by not being sexually experienced in such a sexualized, deregulated marketplace with modern day women?
01:37:47.000Well, I'll share a brief anecdote from my own life.
01:37:50.000So I remember when I, starting from eighth grade on, all The boys and girls were talking about was sex.
01:39:10.000And I'm actually right now, guys, as we speak, I have some things in the works that Fresh doesn't even know about that's going to take the show to the next level.
01:40:25.000I haven't had a fight with a woman in years, but when I used to have a disagreement with her, she would bring up something that happened five years ago.
01:40:32.000Something that has nothing to do with what we're talking about, but was told in confidence in a vulnerable moment.
01:40:41.000So it's possible that when certain people are scared and flailing, they hit below the belt.
01:40:50.000And so I do think that we should be careful about who we confide in.
01:41:31.000What a fucking sound way of letting guys know.
01:41:34.000That you are the captain of the ship and your woman is one of the mates and you cannot sit there in the sea of uncertainty and sit there and be like, I don't know what we're going to do.
01:42:20.000So it's a good idea to try to clean your tone as much as possible, be the master of your emotional timbre, as it were.
01:42:29.000But yes, in my model of relationships, people have different models, but the man is the captain of the relationship, and the woman is the first mate.
01:42:37.000Which is a very important position on the ship, because the captain isn't always right.
01:42:41.000The captain has his blind spots and needs to be able to consult appropriately with someone who will advise him and give him the truth.
01:42:48.000But ultimately, it's the captain's call.
01:43:53.000Goes on behind closed doors, plays by different rules than what happens in the light of day.
01:43:58.000So it's very possible that women can be high-powered and competent and confident and boss babes in real life and want to be even dominated behind closed doors.
01:44:11.000I'll say it's a lot of times even more so.
01:44:54.000I mean, I think that if you reach a certain point and you can't have everything you want, the only experience you don't have is not being able to get what you want.
01:45:02.000The only experience you don't have if you have all the power is powerlessness.
01:45:07.000So it's the only place you can go on some level.
01:45:09.000And that's true for both men and women.
01:47:16.000So a guy might be competent and confident, but if he doesn't care enough to bring the woman in and nurture her within his space, he's useless to her in the long term.
01:47:28.000So she might fall for the attractiveness in the short term, and then she'll get dissatisfied.
01:47:34.000She'll fall in love with him and the potential in the dream.
01:50:09.000I like what Christian Guzman has set up over there.
01:50:11.000Hollywood Brian goes, I'm going on a walk for a first day trying to keep investment low, but how would I escalate and be fun in flirting situations like this?
01:53:32.000And, you know, I went there in my soup, blah, blah, blah.
01:53:35.000Nothing about that was braggy or egotistical, etc.
01:53:39.000You're just simply describing your day in vivid detail, and that vivid detail allowed the woman to almost come to her own conclusion that, oh, he's doing these things, so therefore this guy is of higher value.
01:53:49.000I'll liken this back to my profession.
01:53:52.000When I was an agent, one of the things they tell you when you write your reports is, you're just the fact finder.
01:53:58.000You write the facts and you let the reader come to their own conclusions.
01:54:02.000You don't say, this person is the suspect, blah, blah, blah.
01:54:05.000You just say, on such and such subject, say this, this, this, this, and then the person that's reading it can come to that conclusion and be like, Oh, wow.
01:54:12.000Well, with all the circumstantial evidence you have here or whatever, yeah, this guy's probably guilty.
01:54:20.000I think when you apply that to females as well, where you're just giving facts, maybe not in a boring matter of fact tone as a police report or, you know, government report, but you're doing it in vivid detail, etc.
01:54:31.000You let her come to that logical conclusion.
01:54:33.000We always say, you know, discovery trumps disclosure, right?
01:54:36.000Telling her I have a Lamborghini is not the same as you, you know, You're meeting for a date and she sees you drop your Lamborghini off a valet naturally and you never said a word.
01:54:48.000I say, if you have a Lamborghini and you want to take pictures of it, the best place for that Lamborghini is in the background.
01:54:54.000You want to act like you're a guy of such status that the Lamborghini in the background that I guarantee everyone is going to notice is of such little consequence that it doesn't need to be the focus of the picture.
01:55:05.000I tell guys for their Instagram, you need to be the focus.
01:55:08.000All of your auxiliary items and, for example, chains and all that stuff needs to be a backdrop for you.
01:55:19.000I'll just add as well to your first date approach that What I'll do is I'll talk to the girl, ask questions, of course, and then I'm listening to hear what she's saying.
01:55:29.000So I'm doing active listening, and I respond with a question from what she said.
01:55:33.000So I'll ask her, hey, I'm curious, like, how's work for you?
01:56:50.000It's the foundational therapeutic tactic is reflection.
01:56:54.000A lot of guys, myself included, used to think that this was pointless.
01:56:58.000Reflection is basically where you just summarize and say back what you've heard.
01:57:03.000So for example, what I heard you say is that oftentimes when you go out on dates, you'll ask her about her job and she'll tell you the information, but then you'll go a little bit deeper into that and she'll respond positively to that.
01:58:21.000It's a way to elicit information without even doing it because it's human nature where if you say something, you want to be interpreted the way that you said it.
01:58:29.000You don't want to necessarily have someone put their own negative connotation on it and you will go ahead and correct them even though it might hurt you to a degree because you might not want to be seen as a certain character or whatever it may be.
01:58:39.000So guys need to understand that a skill set is being able to listen, summarize it, and then once you get really skilled, summarize it even maybe a little bit off so they can clarify and you can get the information that you want.
02:00:05.000Like, before you know it, the person is telling me all the bad things that come with his addiction just because I overstated his position, which is that there was no problems whatsoever.
02:00:29.000Like, the way that skilled interviewers can work with people's resistance in a frictionless way to move towards greater understanding is phenomenal.
02:00:40.000It's a really useful skill in therapy.
02:00:42.000I'm sure it's useful in law enforcement, and it's very useful on dating.
02:01:41.000We're still going to be on YouTube, but, you know, all of our content is going to be over here, but we're going to still be on YouTube to a degree.
02:01:47.000Ephra 42, and the Old Testament wives that were infertile or wanted more children had the husbands impregnate their female servants.
02:01:52.000Servants then became subwives after blessings from God.
02:02:51.000The Bay Area is sort of ground zero for psychotherapy schools.
02:02:55.000There's like six or seven professional schools in the Bay Area.
02:03:00.000To me, grad school was something of a necessary evil and I even went on to teach.
02:03:08.000I understood that the vision I had for my life, I needed a degree in order to get the license, and once I had the license, I could sell my services in the open market.
02:03:17.000And so it didn't really matter to me so much where I went.
02:03:21.000I did go to my first choice school, but to me it was like, I'll jump through the hoops, I'll do what I need to do, I'll get the degree so that I can move forward with my business vision.
02:03:30.000I'll do what's required to get where I want.
02:06:24.000And then also do things that you like and meet people that do those things.
02:06:27.000Men typically tend to bond through activities and a shared mission.
02:06:32.000So try to meet people that share similar physical interests that you do.
02:06:37.000I don't care if it's playing Warhammer at the hobby club or something like that or chess or playing a sport or going to the gym, but find something that you guys can bond on physically and a shared mission.
02:06:50.000And Wales means that they've That they've Rommel ranted often.
02:07:16.000Like I said earlier, when a woman reaches out, it's because she's thinking about you in that moment.
02:07:22.000She's missing you in that moment, and she wants to connect with you.
02:07:26.000Sometimes, though, when women reach out, especially if they reach out repeatedly after they seem to have rejected you, they're testing whether you're still there.
02:07:34.000A lot of women just want the comfort of knowing that they can get attention on demand and that there's a man waiting in the wings.
02:07:42.000So I think that if you've made it clear what your intentions are vis-a-vis a specific woman, and for whatever reason she says, I don't really want that relationship with you, or I'm not ready for that kind of thing, say, hey, no problem, hit me up when you are.
02:07:55.000You know, some weeks, some months, some years might go by, you get that call, and you can assume in that moment that she's ready to move things forward.
02:08:59.000The problem is, if you meet her under that premise because you told her what you wanted from the very beginning and she wants to do something different, you meet her under her program, which means you're following her pattern, you're following her setup, which is going to take me out for you.
02:09:10.000So I would just say, if she's not following you on your program, then what's the point of meeting her?
02:09:14.000And I want to also bring some attention to what the doc was saying, which I think is very important for the guys to know.
02:09:18.000They polled a bunch of married women and they said something around 50% of married women have a backup guy.
02:09:29.000I don't think men understand the importance of backup men for women in their sexual strategy and how that greatly influences their perceived value, how they view the world, how they view men in general.
02:09:44.000It creates a lot of comfort and security for them to know that there's other men out there.
02:09:48.000And that's why one of the number one things I do if a girl does want something serious with me is I tell them, you're not having no guy friends either.
02:09:54.000Like, you're not going to sit there and enjoy the comfort of potentially having some other simp in the background, right?
02:10:00.000Because I already know he's always going to be there, so you might as well cut him off now, right?
02:10:03.000Because I'm not going to sit here and talk about that because when women think that they have options, they can replace you.
02:11:12.000And it's another reason why a lot of guys would be loathe to give up some of his other women when he's entering into a monogamistic relationship if that serves him.
02:12:47.000So, if power is a fact of life, power is a fact of every relationship, but if the imbalance gets too much, it generally leads to corruption and all forms of abuse, regardless of whether it's the man who's more powerful or the woman.
02:14:11.000There's not a lot of female Batmans who are surrendering to a certain personal code that they live by and they might die by.
02:14:19.000So what you're saying about men potentially wielding power...
02:14:25.000Better than women comes, I think, from the fact that men often will have these personal codes that they're willing to surrender their behavior to more often than women do.
02:14:38.000So they can potentially handle it more responsibly because they see themselves as submitting to a higher purpose, and so they're actually just implementing this higher code.
02:15:32.000But with everything else, we don't really hold women to the same standards.
02:15:34.000We kind of tell men, do what's right, and we tell women, do what's right for you.
02:15:39.000And yeah, that's a fantastic way to put it, why men need to be in the powership roles, because men are more likely to have a code, and that code will keep the evil at bay.
02:15:51.000And there's a lot of spineless men out there who are in positions of power that are very...
02:16:33.000You're using the analogy that hitting a woman is socially unacceptable because men are physically superior to women, which obviously we all here at the table can agree.
02:16:56.000And men kind of understand and accept this and it's societally enforced, right?
02:17:01.000But with women, they have an overwhelming advantage with optionality.
02:17:06.000And if you tell them, hey, that needs to be curbed to be in any real relationship of consequence with me, a lot of them will hem and haw and I'm not doing that and you're insecure or you're toxic, etc.
02:17:20.000But by the same token, it's not like I'm telling you we need to arm wrestle every day and you need to win.
02:18:30.000I think it's going to get worse before it gets better because women have fought really hard for the inequality that they now enjoy, and they're able to still get the benefit of chivalry to some degree.
02:18:40.000And being courted and they still have the optionality, so they're literally able to get the best of all worlds.
02:18:45.000They can be treated like a lady on dates, etc., while still being taken seriously from a professional standpoint.
02:18:50.000They have more college access than ever.
02:18:52.000So why would they yield any of the levers that they've been able to accumulate over the last 70 years thanks to feminism?
02:18:57.000It's going to get worse before it gets better, guys.
02:18:59.000So I think guys need to just adapt to the new normal versus hoping women are going to go back to aprons in the 1950s.
02:19:04.000I don't know what's your take on that.
02:19:05.000Yeah, we're not going back to those traditional days.
02:19:08.000We're not going to repeal women's right to vote, and I don't think that we should.
02:19:13.000So here's one way to conceptualize this.
02:19:20.000It hasn't been published yet, but I found it to be really interesting that almost every traditional gender role in today's day and age has been questioned, has been examined, except for There's probably a few, but except this one, which is the man still makes the offer.
02:19:39.000The offer could be, hey, can I buy you a drink?
02:19:41.000The offer could be, will you marry me?
02:19:43.000But the women are still waiting for the offer.
02:19:46.000And that's very strange because there doesn't seem to be anything inherent in that situation that suggests that the man has to do that and the woman has to wait.
02:19:54.000Especially when we've examined all these other traditional roles and said, no, that's not inherent to men or inherent to women.
02:20:32.000Maybe they don't understand that explicitly or consciously, but they understand that the person, they're already in a more privileged position if the man is approaching her than the other way around.
02:20:43.000And I think that's why that has never really been examined or questioned.
02:20:49.000There's a lot of women, 25% of women over 40 today are unmarried and childless.
02:21:17.000And to the extent that that's a problem, you would think that eventually they might buy a ring and get down on their knee, but they don't do that.
02:21:25.000It's almost like if the power struggle is, I have the power, but I want your power as well.
02:21:31.000So come to me with the offer because I'm taking your power away.
02:21:37.000Well, it's a double-edged sword because if a woman actually succeeds in taking away a man's power, then the basis of her attraction is also undermined.
02:21:44.000Because no woman actually wants to end up with a powerless man.
02:22:19.000Because I got some questions on your videos now, too, as well.
02:22:23.000And then, Charlie, why are women who have been engaged in sexual relations with more than 50 men concerned about men who sleep with multiple women?
02:22:29.000They do not seem concerned about contracting an STD. Yeah, well, they're not really too concerned, bro.
02:23:25.000I'm bald, you know, and I'm 29 and I'm ashamed of that.
02:23:29.000Or height is a big deal for guys and there's not much you can do, if anything, to change your height, right?
02:23:34.000So my advice for guys like this is you have to understand that you, especially if you don't know, if another person doesn't know who you are, you teach them how they should feel about you in how you present yourself and how you speak about yourself.
02:23:49.000And on some level, you have to be a salesman.
02:23:53.000Now, a good salesman believes that his product is the best product on market.
02:23:58.000At this price point, in this class of automobile, it will do exactly what you need to do.
02:24:02.000And they know all the competitors' inferiorities.
02:24:52.000This is a good thing that you're getting a bald guy because it means that you have a high T man who's associated with all these other prestigious muscular men as well.
02:25:19.000When Myron was pointing out the 50%, the wives having 50% backup, you actually had made a face where it was like, only 50%?
02:25:29.000Are you actually alluding that there's probably much more Oh, I think so, man.
02:25:34.000I mean, in my experience, it's not that women have a plan B. They have a plan B, C, D, D. They have a plan down to E. They're like, if this guy doesn't work out, I might be able to get back with my ex.
02:25:43.000And if that doesn't work, the guy in eighth grade might still be single and showed me some love.
02:25:47.000So they might not Be actually able to secure those relationships, but at least that safety net gives them some room to maneuver and some confidence to negotiate more aggressively in their current relationship.
02:26:02.000So many guys I work with have that scarcity mentality and they understand how difficult it is for them to get a woman.
02:26:33.000But that's where a lot of guys' minds are.
02:26:35.000And so they put up with a lot of nonsense that they have no business putting up with because they think at least it's better than nothing.
02:26:42.000How important is sexual experience with women in today's day and age and deregulated sexual marketplace from your professional opinion?
02:26:53.000I think it's always been important for a man to know his way around the bedroom.
02:26:58.000And no one really teaches guys how to do that.
02:27:01.000And I meant to say, sorry, from a holistic standpoint, like being with a lot of women, dating them, have dealt with them, interacted with them, having a certain notch count.
02:27:08.000Me, I say you need to have at least 50 before you think.
02:27:11.000Yeah, you need to have at least a 50-notch count before you take any woman seriously in the West.
02:27:15.000I don't know what your take is on that.
02:27:17.000Maybe you have a number in your mind or you just say, no, you just need to have a certain level of experience.
02:27:21.000But I think that scarcity mindset that a lot of your clients exhibit, I think that's a byproduct of guys not understanding that you need to go out and deal with a lot of women to figure out that they're really not that special and you almost kind of desensitize yourself to the female mystique.
02:27:36.000I don't have a hard number, like 50, but I think your essential point is fair.
02:27:40.000It's like men need to have a variety of experiences with a lot of different women.
02:27:45.000They call this the bias of small sample sizes.
02:27:48.000If I were to do a study with like four people and they gave me a certain result and I try to generalize that as a As a universal law, it's most likely not going to be true because if two of those people were just weirdos because of the random sampling that I did,
02:28:05.000I might think that half of all people are this way.
02:28:08.000That's why robust studies have sample sizes of thousands or hundreds of thousands of people because that weirdness sort of gets distributed evenly over the population so we can make more stable conclusions.
02:28:18.000So you need to have a variety of experience to know, is this all women or is that just that nutty girl that you happen to date?
02:28:26.000And until you, and you also alluded to something else that is important, which is most young men start out as romantics.
02:29:13.000I have this whole metaphor about the sexual marketplace being a dock and the guys are like in front of their ships and the women are going around the pier trying to figure out what boat they want to get on.
02:33:59.000If you don't really know where you're going, the woman is going to start to, once she gets on board, she's going to start to change the course.
02:34:11.000Well, once you go out to sea, the question is, like, who really runs the ship?
02:34:15.000Does the captain run the ship, or does the passenger run the captain who runs the ship?
02:34:23.000So, if you don't have that vision, and a lot of guys don't, Then it's easier to be fit into somebody else's vision.
02:34:34.000If you don't have a plan, you're probably part of somebody else's plan.
02:34:37.000And women tend to have relationship goals, whereas men's goals are basically like, I just kind of want to get laid and not be alone anymore.
02:36:08.000But all of them pretty much are identifying traits and characteristics that are integral for their ability to work.
02:36:18.000Extract resources either immediately or in some type of future.
02:36:23.000And I think once men understand that, that all men are gold diggers to a certain degree, it's going to put you in a position where you understand that, wow, My value is 1000% contingent upon my performance.
02:36:37.000And I think once guys understand that the burden performance is actually on you, then you're going to understand that you're going to understand the natural hierarchy that men and women aren't equal.
02:36:46.000Because you're evaluating what you provide, women or not.
02:36:49.000They can provide electively while you are required to provide mandatorily.
02:38:20.000Do you understand that idiom, dark horse?
02:38:23.000A dark horse, it's like at the Kentucky Derby.
02:38:25.000The dark horse is the horse with the bad odds who actually ends up winning.
02:38:29.000I think at the last Kentucky Derby, the horse that won had 101 odds.
02:38:33.000So whoever bet on that horse hit an enormous jackpot.
02:38:36.000So the problem with a lot of women's strategies is, Rich Cooper talks about this, they hang out at the winner's circle and try to pick The winners.
02:39:16.000And another strategy is to try to find the winner before the race is run.
02:39:22.000This requires becoming a better judge of character, to be able to look at the horse's teeth and their forelocks, or whatever the hell it is, and say, oh yeah, this one's going to go the distance.
02:39:33.000And you can enter into a relationship with a guy...
02:40:35.000What if I told you, I think for a woman to be good at finding a dark horse, they need an expert.
02:40:40.000And that expert is going to be someone might have practiced him a question in the past, etc.
02:40:45.000And I think that guy is going to be their father or their brother.
02:40:49.000And why I say that is because you have a man who's not sexually motivated to be around you that has a...
02:40:58.000If it's a healthy family, a significant interest in you finding the best mate, because if you don't, they're on the hook for taking care of you, especially the dad.
02:41:06.000So they will be able to help you assess this dark horse from a better perspective because they can see things that the woman might not be able to.
02:41:15.000And what I've realized is that a lot of times women are blinded by how the man makes him feel.
02:41:19.000We talked about Machiavellian traits before, how a man is able to, and these dark triad traits, We're good to go.
02:42:01.000It might not look good right now, but when he gets across the finish line and beats everybody else, we'll be able to update the horseshoes.
02:42:08.000We'll be able to update the grain that the horse eats.
02:42:11.000We'll be able to update the mane and all these other things because he's going to win.
02:42:15.000The potential is there, but women aren't able to see this.
02:43:38.000If you guys go into the same career field, that's fine.
02:43:40.000Just make sure he's better than you and go from there.
02:43:43.000But yeah, I mean, but I think have a male influence that isn't Self-motivated through sexual motivation, a brother, a cousin, an uncle, some kind of trusted male counterpart.
02:43:56.000This is why I think arranged marriages work well, have worked so long, and why they were a thing, is because even though there might have not been maybe an emotional bond, etc., to the same degree, the woman was at least cared for and taken care of from a provisioning standpoint.
02:44:10.000I could go very personally here as well.
02:44:11.000My granddad, rest in peace to him, he told my mom that that was a bad bet.
02:44:16.000And because, you know, Machiavellian traits, you know, not really caring that much, more of like a lone wolf, but more like, I want to say, good game, and telling her what she wants to hear, you know, she fell for it, and he left, he said he was coming back to the house,
02:46:11.000Hey, guys, if you're enjoying this content, man, and you want more of it, and you want to support the show, Please subscribe to the Rumble channel.
02:46:46.000I'll give you a short and succinct response here.
02:46:49.000Since she was with you before you became a somebody, I will say that you should give her a benefit of doubt that other women don't necessarily deserve.
02:46:59.000However, this kind of sucks because you acquired your value later on.
02:47:03.000So you weren't able to dictate terms from the onset of the relationship.
02:47:05.000So it's going to be a little bit trickier to do it in the middle, but it can be done.
02:47:08.000What I would say is, this is what I think.
02:47:12.000You need to write down on a piece of paper everything that she does that irritates you and pisses you off.
02:47:57.000You don't negotiate with terrorists, as I always say.
02:48:00.000And that right there is going to put you in a position where she's either going to concede and change, and then you can go ahead and implement consequences if she doesn't, or You know, you just end the relationship right there.
02:48:27.000I studied it extensively and it's the only therapy that's been shown to be effective with BPD and it was written by a woman who is a recovered BPD. But he doesn't even know if she has real Like, bro, does she really have BPD? Because guys on this side of the internet tend to throw that shit around for any female.
02:48:40.000But people with significant personality disorders, they can change, but they generally don't.
02:48:48.000The rule is that they're not going to change.
02:48:50.000Yeah, I would say have love for her, bro, because she did it from the very beginning.
02:48:53.000Don't just discard her, but to have her close to your personal lifestyle now where you could hurt your income or hurt yourself, I would just run for the hell, bro.
02:49:01.000Which you should have done that from the beginning.
02:49:22.000Assuming she's not in a position to destroy you where she's living with your cohabiting, which we tell you all the time, you should never be living with a woman anyway.
02:49:28.000Because all of this is one phone call to the cops, and now you're in jail, out of your house.
02:49:33.000And does she really have BPD? I don't know, because a lot of guys tend to throw that term out with women all the time.
02:50:11.000Now with respect to BPD, again, we don't know.
02:50:13.000Maybe it's something that they're just throwing around.
02:50:15.000But you have to understand that in this treatment that's actually used effectively on borderlines, part of the protocol is those therapists need to be involved in a team of support therapists.
02:52:52.000So guys, from this point, we're going to read 50 and up Rumble Rants, because I still have some questions here that I want to make sure I get through.
02:52:57.000And obviously, we don't want to put the doc to sleep, and he's got stuff to do, probably.
02:53:15.000I mean, I think one of the things here on this side of the internet, we always say, you know, women want the power of a man and the responsibility, but they want the accountability of a child, blah, blah, blah.
02:53:24.000Women have a tough time taking accountability, all this other stuff.
02:53:27.000Can you speak deeper to, and you really explained it well in that video, but can you speak deeper to that concept of apologies in females?
02:53:34.000First, I'll respond to the most common pushback or objection to that, which is saying that, explaining why women don't apologize doesn't mean that men don't.
02:53:44.000But it's that men and women often don't apologize for different reasons, I've found.
02:53:49.000Men often don't apologize because of an ego thing.
02:54:12.000And I would like you to acknowledge that you did that bad thing.
02:54:15.000Apologize for that and change your behavior moving forward.
02:54:17.000Because that, of course, is the only real apology is changed behavior.
02:54:22.000But what I found is that a lot of women treat the foul as the pain or the anger or the Emotional reaction in the man as a response to her behavior.
02:55:01.000Or I had a situation where I had a disagreement with a woman and then a few hours later she just took her clothes off and laid down naked in front of me as if like just having sex would make everything better.
02:56:03.000This is why it's so important where when you're correcting a woman or enforcing a boundary, etc., you do it in a calm, cool, collected fashion.
02:56:18.000Because what you're saying here is actually very profound.
02:56:20.000I want the audience to really understand this.
02:56:23.000Men have an issue with the behavior, right?
02:56:27.000That's why they want the apology and they want it to be corrected.
02:56:30.000Women have an issue with how they made you feel from the behavior, but they discount the behavior.
02:56:36.000And I think if you're able to respond to her behavior that pissed you off or you didn't like in a calm, cool, and collected manner, she can't I guess she can't see an emotional response from you.
02:56:50.000And therefore that only leaves one thing, which is the glaring problem.
02:56:53.000It was your fucking behavior, not my reaction.
02:57:11.000So it's not completely irrational where women might be coming from, but absolutely.
02:57:16.000There's two reasons why it's important to keep your calm about that.
02:57:18.000First of all, is if your emotional tone is too angry, then she might get triggered and then she only hears that and she's not going to take in what you say.
02:57:27.000And that's true for anybody, man or woman, who gets emotionally triggered.
02:57:30.000They're no longer susceptible to logic and reason, so you can't actually have a mature conversation with them.
02:57:35.000So you have to take care of your tone so that they don't become emotionally confused in that moment, panicked.
02:57:42.000But yeah, if a person is flailing, they're going to find some other way to squirm out of it.
02:57:47.000And it could be that you're raising your voice against me right now.
02:57:51.000And so that's just a distraction tactic.
02:57:54.000And it's very easy to move to the side if you understand it and you can keep your cool in that moment.
02:58:29.000And you kind of go about it, but you have to be but if you like and you'll be emotional You're basically letting her know that both of you are equal and you're gonna go ahead and play her game and that's not what you want to do So masculine feminine communication is very different.
02:58:43.000Yeah, so let's say that for whatever reason we had some sort of like beef Yeah, and we're gonna come together and talk about it.
02:58:49.000Yeah, this happens between men what we're probably gonna do is Is be as cool and calm because we both know what could happen if things get disrespectful and things get out of hand.
02:59:00.000So we're probably going to take as much emotion out of our voices as possible.
02:59:09.000When you're talking, and this is where guys screw this up all the time, when they have to have sometimes necessary or difficult conversations with their women, they'll speak to them like a man like that.
02:59:17.000They'll take all the emotional tone out of their voice.
02:59:20.000And suddenly all the woman is responding to is the absence of warmth.
03:02:18.000Don't necessarily trust until it's valid to do so, but expect to see in her behavior the things that you want to see there until she proves otherwise.
03:03:01.000I think that's why, going back to being, because someone asked earlier, do women really want honesty?
03:03:06.000And I think women want honesty, and I want to get your take on this, Doc, for their own selfish reasons to quickly disqualify you.
03:03:13.000Not necessarily to build upon your honesty, but rather they want your honesty to disqualify you from something that might not necessarily align with their sexual strategy at that moment in time.
03:03:24.000Like, for example, let's say she's 29 and looking for a relationship.
03:03:29.000And you say, I just want to go with the flow and I'm looking for something casual.
03:03:35.000Well, now you've objectively disclosed to her that your goal doesn't align with hers.
03:03:41.000And her goal, unfortunately, is time-sensitive.
03:04:17.000It's like you're expecting people to be superhuman and to just say they should be honest, independent of the fact that they're failing and they're experiencing nothing but rejection.
03:05:07.000There's no way that you'll be able to be honest about what you really want to do, whether it's being polygamous or wanting multiple women, etc., and be able to do it peacefully without a woman being all over you and shit like that, unless you're a higher status guy.
03:05:46.000But he's able to do so because his lifestyle and his status, et cetera, speaks for itself so women know what time it is dealing with a guy like that.
03:05:54.000So you're able to get away with it in certain situations.
03:05:56.000But are most men able to be honest, forfeit a majority of women, and still be able to have sexual access?
03:06:23.000I mean, even if you're committed to being the most forthright and transparent in your conversations, in your dealings with women, there's still things you don't talk about.
03:06:34.000And we're not talking about, I'm purposely hiding this.
03:07:42.000You still have to have an allure of mystery.
03:07:47.000Only disclose what is asked and don't offer more information.
03:07:50.000But I think some things have to be out there and open if you want to have a peaceful relationship, especially if you want to be open, which most of you guys, let's be honest, you all want to have your main girl and maybe have multiple girls.
03:08:00.000You tell them, hey, this is what I want, and you kind of just leave it there.
03:08:03.000Let her imagination do most of the work.
03:08:05.000We talk about this, a woman's imagination is your best ally with maintaining attraction.
03:08:11.000I will counter it and say, I ask questions for this dynamic, so I want to know from the very beginning what you want.
03:09:38.000Universally understood concept, it definitely exists, and it's important to save men from themselves, of their emotional suppression, the bondage of their traditional gender roles, etc.
03:09:54.000Their tendencies to violence and aggression.
03:09:56.000What are your thoughts on the concept of toxic masculinity?
03:13:12.000And that cost a lot of the times is intrusion in your civil liberties to a degree.
03:13:16.000I think the United States does the best job of it where we have a semblance of freedom while simultaneously having a semblance of national security.
03:13:23.000But you cannot have the utmost national security while simultaneously having the utmost freedom because the two counteract each other.
03:13:29.000So I think we have a very good balance of it compared to the rest of the world, right?
03:13:33.000People complain about the United States, whatever.
03:13:35.000I still think we're the best house in a shitty neighborhood.
03:14:18.000When there's someone to enforce that security, right?
03:14:21.000So the monopoly power, the reason why we live in a civilized world that I was talking about, sorry, civilized first world country, etc., is because we have a government, we have the police, we have the military, etc., that enforce laws, right, on you.
03:14:35.000If you go out and break the law, the police will come after you, and they will subdue you physically if they need to, and then they will constrain you in a jail cell, and no one wants to do that.
03:14:44.000So there's physical ramifications that will lead to pain in the future if you do not follow the law.
03:14:50.000So that monopoly of power is extremely important to keep semblance, right?
03:15:12.000The number of lives lost to war since the atomic bombs were dropped on Japan is significantly lower than the number of lives lost to war in the hundred years before that.
03:16:53.000So yeah, so you would say it's become feminized, the American psychology.
03:16:56.000Certainly with that document and the way that they're treating masculinity in general these days, the profession is obviously totally feminized.
03:17:07.000You made a video called Women Punish the Men They Like.
03:17:37.000But the idea here is that if Tom was just some schmoe, Oh, so the line was he was going to play another season and she really wanted him at home.
03:18:36.000And those girls always seem to want a relationship with him.
03:18:39.000And then if he actually gets his hands on eight or a nine, he throws all of that game out the window and he starts putting her on a pedestal and doing things that he would never do for the five or the six, right?
03:18:50.000And what I tell guys is, Those numbers kind of only exist in your mind.
03:18:56.000If it worked on the sixes, it's going to work on the nines.
03:18:59.000Like, you did the right thing with the wrong girl.
03:19:02.000You know that it worked because she was blowing up your phone and she was asking, when can I see you again?
03:19:07.000And she wanted to get into a relationship.
03:19:09.000If that worked on that woman, it will work on another woman.
03:22:46.000Especially in income and education, they're doing really well relative to men.
03:22:50.000Which basically means that if they're continuing to hang on to their hypergamy, there's a smaller and smaller pool of men that they're ever going to even consider as a potential mate.
03:23:13.000And the likelihood that any one of those guys at any given moment is going to give up all of that incredible optionality for this one woman is functionally very, very low.
03:23:22.000Especially when he had to work to get there.
03:23:24.000That's why I say men treat women the way women treat money.
03:24:11.000They don't have any problem with that, but they're very unlikely to give them those things because it means giving up all this other optionality.
03:25:05.000Feminism, women being educated, women making money, etc.
03:25:08.000Women getting all these rights and privileges and all this access.
03:25:12.000What it inadvertently did in unforeseen circumstances, and no one talks about this, is it actually has put the top 1% of guys in the driver's seat.
03:25:22.000They're the ones that really control the sexual marketplace.
03:25:30.000But the reality is the guys at the absolute top, they control the sexual marketplace and they control the monopoly.
03:25:38.000And women inadvertently did this by increasing their own status.
03:25:44.000Because they're slaves to their hypergamy.
03:25:46.000So therefore, since they're slaves to their hypergamy, and men need to always be in the social hierarchy at the top for women to be attracted, they've inadvertently given all the power to a small percentage of men that you just described are the least likely to give them what they want.
03:25:59.000So they have to settle with a guy, a lot of times, that's on their level, or maybe lower, and they can't satisfy that hypergamous tendency.
03:26:40.000You might not have any problem with your job.
03:26:42.000You might even be happy with your job.
03:26:44.000But if you get a call from a recruiter and says, hey, I just got off the phone with this company, they're willing to off you three times your salary.
03:26:51.000They're going to give you unlimited PTO. You don't have to commute to work anymore.
03:26:58.000You're at least going to entertain that offer.
03:27:01.000And the vast majority of folks aren't going to entertain it for very long.
03:27:20.000And no one is going to say, After all the training we gave you, it's like, of course we understand that they're going to go somewhere else if they offer them three times as much money.
03:27:49.000Like, I know women, for example, who will take a pay cut if it means that they have more flexibility with their hours, or they don't have to commute.
03:27:57.000So, I have another metaphor that's like, it's the cat that decides what milk is good.
03:28:02.000You can't be pouring out milk and be like, cats should like this milk.
03:28:05.000It's like, if there's no cats drinking your milk, dude, that milk ain't good.
03:29:36.000So if you become a woman's best option, and she's actually had some experience in the sexual marketplace, not necessarily by sleeping around, but just by dating and knowing what kind of men are out there, and she can recognize you as a high-value man, you're going to have effortless relationships.
03:29:52.000But you have to be significantly her best option.
03:32:35.000Another part of this metaphor is, if we're talking about money, and you went to your financial advisor, do you think he would ever, like ever under any circumstances, say you need to invest all of your money into one stock?
03:33:12.000That's why they don't love that, because it's like, oh, he's doing kind of what I'm doing here, you know?
03:33:19.000And if I'm doing it, then it evens out that power imbalance, which is generally not looked well on by the person who enters into the situation with more power, which is often the woman.
03:33:32.000They're used to being in the driver's seat.
03:33:34.000But it's ironic because that's what gets them attracted to you, is that you can kick them off the driver's seat and you're in it, which is interesting.
03:35:56.000Okay, we said 15 up, but I got you, Ali.
03:35:58.000110 Ali goes, been with my girl for three years.
03:36:00.000She'd been through tough times when I was in the hospital with health issues, but I came closer to my D in Islam and she's not Muslim, doesn't have traditional values.
03:36:25.000I have been watching y'all for one year and a half, and y'all have made me learn how to be a better wife for my husband, and we have been happier than ever.