Fresh & Fit - Why Black Men Don't Date Black Women Debate

00:12:27.000 And guys, welcome back to the 305 podcast.

00:12:29.000 We got a full cast today.

00:12:30.000 We're going to cover slaves while dating globally in the current marketplace being black. 1.00

00:12:36.000 Let's get into it.

00:12:37.000 Let's get into it.

00:13:06.000 Let's get into it.

00:13:17.000 Fellas, it is Tuesday night.

00:13:19.000 It could be anywhere in the world.

00:13:20.000 You're watching us here.

00:13:21.000 Thank you for watching.

00:13:22.000 So without further ado, welcome to the show, people.

00:13:24.000 I'll start here.

00:13:25.000 Name Adrid for Living.

00:13:26.000 do for living and then of course guess last of course so sorry into the mic hi my name is Ashley I'm 27 and I'm in sales my name is Tashana I'm 28 and I'm a teacher all right my name is Liesia I'm 30 and I'm a serial entrepreneur wait Liesia Liesia that's a crazy name okay like you're in asia just saying Hello,

00:13:54.000 I am Miss Manassa and I am 42 and I am a therapist.

00:13:58.000 I do individual and family therapy.

00:13:59.000 Oh, wow.

00:14:02.000 Hi, I'm Alexa.

00:14:05.000 Guess my age?

00:14:09.000 I am a broker and check out my website blackbusinesslists.com new directory.

00:14:15.000 All right, business owner boss babe.

00:14:18.000 No.

00:14:19.000 No.

00:14:21.000 What's up?

00:14:22.000 What's up?

00:14:23.000 Welcome back, bro.

00:14:24.000 Welcome back.

00:14:24.000 It's been a while.

00:14:25.000 It's been a while, but it's been good, man.

00:14:27.000 How you been?

00:14:28.000 Been maturing, been growing.

00:14:30.000 Traveling the world?

00:14:30.000 Yeah, been seeing things, you know, I gotta check it out.

00:14:33.000 I gotta learn, come back and report home.

00:14:35.000 So, um, you know, the break has definitely been, um, we'll say productive.

00:14:40.000 It's gonna, it's gonna give us some more value to contribute.

00:14:43.000 Do you think just real quick, being a Public Book Board is viable nowadays?, more valuable than dating?

00:14:48.000 Well, I mean, I definitely would consider myself a passport bro, and I think that's a very tricky term.

00:14:53.000 I think that term is more so used for other people to try to fit it in a box.

00:14:58.000 I think the guys that are actually traveling, there's so much variation as to why guys would be traveling, you know what I mean?

00:15:05.000 So, and I think everyone that's using that word might have a different understanding of it.

00:15:09.000 But for me, it's never been a passport bro.

00:15:10.000 I've been traveling since I was a kid.

00:15:12.000 But I did see a lot of guys traveling, a lot of guys abroad doing their thing, a lot of Americans.

00:15:18.000 Most of the behavior is pretty embarrassing, to be honest with you.

00:15:21.000 Sad.

00:15:21.000 Yeah, it's pretty sad.

00:15:22.000 It's pretty sad, pretty desperate.

00:15:26.000 But yeah guys, if you want to travel, I think we're going to get into that type of content later and kind of point guys in the right direction.

00:15:32.000 But it's not as simple as, you know, getting on a plane and landing and speaking with the women.

00:15:38.000 People don't know who you are maybe from the past videos or the past qualifications.

00:15:43.000 No, we ain't going to address that now.

00:15:44.000 No, no, no.

00:15:46.000 Who is the person right now?

00:15:47.000 On a later date.

00:15:48.000 New people that don't know who you are.

00:15:50.000 New people?

00:15:51.000 I mean, yeah man, I had some times back with Fresh and Myron, the Fresh and Fit podcast when it first started.

00:15:58.000 It was a beautiful time, man.

00:16:00.000 It was a beautiful year.

00:16:01.000 He's a trainer, staff YouTuber.

00:16:02.000 slash travel expert code.

00:16:04.000 Let's check him on YouTube.

00:16:05.000 All that good stuff.

00:16:06.000 There you go.

00:16:07.000 You know, recruit a lot of ladies. 1.00

00:16:08.000 A lot of girls.

00:16:09.000 You contributed a lot to the show.

00:16:10.000 So, Joe, we're still here.

00:16:12.000 Welcome back.

00:16:13.000 Yeah.

00:16:13.000 Dom.

00:16:14.000 Yeah.

00:16:15.000 Dom Luka, Breaker and Narratus, most dominant black journalist in America.

00:16:18.000 Definitely probably one of the most dominant in the West.

00:16:20.000 Let's go.

00:16:22.000 Also, Dom. 0.99

00:16:25.000 He's the only person I know that has dreads and a big ass chain that goes to the White House. 0.97

00:16:32.000 That's why I got the name, Breaker and Narratus. 0.97

00:16:33.000 There you go.

00:16:34.000 And then last but not least, Jeff, Axe Brother Podcast, 10 years in...

00:16:44.000 And trauma started to fight therapists.

00:16:46.000 And tell them who you are.

00:16:48.000 As you stated, my name is Jeff St. James.

00:16:50.000 I recently started a podcast called Ask a Brother Podcast.

00:16:54.000 Went trending, I believe, July 3.

00:16:56.000 And from July 3 till now, we've gained over 21,000 subscribers on YouTube.

00:17:02.000 Yeah.

00:17:02.000 So, you know, honored and grateful for the opportunity.

00:17:05.000 It seems like there's a message that So we got a full cast and certified therapists because we all need therapy here right?

00:17:31.000 I know I do.

00:17:32.000 Kind of.

00:17:32.000 No, we all need therapy.

00:17:33.000 Definitely.

00:17:34.000 So let's start off the topic for today, the current state of black dating globally.

00:17:39.000 Jeff, take lead.

00:17:40.000 Okay.

00:17:41.000 Current state.

00:17:42.000 Yeah, so the current state is actually pretty dismal.

00:17:44.000 in terms of the black community specifically, but also in terms of Western countries.

00:17:48.000 I think it's pretty obvious for people who've been paying attention.

00:17:51.000 Divorce is pretty high.

00:17:52.000 Marriage is pretty low.

00:17:54.000 It's the a lot of finger pointing about why that is.

00:18:00.000 So this particular episode, we decided that one half of the black community, black women, there's a lot of stereotypes about how you all are seen.

00:18:10.000 There's a lot of negativity.

00:18:11.000 There's a lot of, you know, negative attitudes about how you're seen.

00:18:16.000 And I think that this would be a really great opportunity first to give you a voice to actually speak on how does it feel?

00:18:23.000 Is it true?

00:18:24.000 Is it false?

00:18:26.000 Is it a hybrid of both?

00:18:28.000 And then also us as men being able to hear your questions and also your grievances.

00:18:34.000 And then hopefully we will even expound on, well, how do you feel about black men currently?

00:18:39.000 And I think that if we can give space for that, you all will start offering it and then hopefully you'll be open to hearing what it is that we have to say.

00:18:47.000 And I do think that as men, when we don't actually ask for y'all opinions, when we don't actually ask for how y'all think, this is what ends up happening.

00:18:55.000 It seems like we're just talking at you instead of listening.

00:18:58.000 So my hope and goals is that this is just one of many podcasts to come where we start to shift how we see and talk to each other.

00:19:05.000 And my lens is I'm not just talking to you all.

00:19:08.000 And you all are just talking to me.

00:19:11.000 We're talking to all the men and women that look just like us.

00:19:14.000 And how we talk to each other shapes how people look at our community.

00:19:18.000 If their women don't respect their men, if their men don't respect their women, why would anybody else respect us? 0.64

00:19:24.000 All right, so that's really the topic for today, and we'll go from there.

00:19:29.000 Marcia, who wants to start? 0.96

00:19:30.000 First question for us.

00:19:33.000 What is the first question?

00:19:34.000 Oh, it's your question.

00:19:35.000 I don't know it yet.

00:19:36.000 Do you ask it?

00:19:38.000 I have to take out my phone.

00:19:39.000 You want to go first?

00:19:41.000 My bad.

00:19:45.000 In my notes?

00:19:46.000 I can see her.

00:19:48.000 Oh, I didn't even see her.

00:19:52.000 Oh, but my queens. 1.00

00:19:56.000 Just to turn the volume down on the side, just in case.

00:19:59.000 Oh, no.

00:19:59.000 It's off.

00:20:00.000 It was because I was on the Instagram post.

00:20:01.000 Okay.

00:20:02.000 Okay.

00:20:02.000 All right.

00:20:03.000 So my first question for black men is, do you believe black men and black women love each other differently or are we just taught to express our love differently?

00:20:16.000 Can you repeat the question?

00:20:17.000 Yeah.

00:20:18.000 No problem.

00:20:23.000 Do you believe black men, I'm sorry, my voice cracking.

00:20:26.000 Do you believe black men and black women love each other differently or are we taught to love each like express our love differently that's a good question differently and compare it to who to each other like but male and female or like how a black man expresses his love versus like how a black woman expresses our love like oh gender differences i would think it's more gender than racial with that Like,

00:20:56.000 yeah, I think the man's talking about only gender, though.

00:20:58.000 Well, y'all said to make the questions about black men. 0.99

00:21:00.000 Why hell? 0.98

00:21:01.000 Why are y'all confusing me? 0.83

00:21:02.000 No, no, I'm not confusing.

00:21:03.000 Do you want me to go to question number two?

00:21:04.000 What are you saying differently?

00:21:06.000 I'm just trying to say if it's like comparing it by races or are you comparing it by races?

00:21:09.000 Whatever you feel like you want to but it's your question i mean it's your question so i mean the way that i framed my question was like i guess more gender focused but specifically i don't know how white people love each other i don't even know how we love each other you're talking about black men versus black women that's what i'm saying yeah we're clear okay perfect go ahead you got it first oh oh so uh So just pretty much you're saying black men and black women love each other differently.

00:21:38.000 So yeah, the man and the woman loves each other differently is what you're pretty much saying.

00:21:41.000 Well, I'm asking like, okay, so I got it.

00:21:45.000 I got it.

00:21:46.000 I'm saying, do you believe we love each other differently or do you believe we just express it differently?

00:21:51.000 I think we love each other differently.

00:21:53.000 Also express it.

00:21:54.000 I think both can be true.

00:21:55.000 Yeah, definitely.

00:21:56.000 Because the man, he doesn't express his love the same way a woman would. 1.00

00:21:59.000 Whether he's black or white, we're not technically really that vocal, especially black men.

00:22:03.000 We're less vocal.

00:22:04.000 The more we speak, the more insignificant we appear in a woman's eyes a lot of time. 0.99

00:22:08.000 It depends on a lot of the women. 1.00

00:22:10.000 A lot of women don't like men that say too much because he has too much time on his hands.

00:22:15.000 But a woman, a man wants a woman. 0.99

00:22:17.000 that talks too much so you can tell her to shut up like you gotta have that balance like you need something like a balance they express themselves from their words and their emotions men they express themselvesves through their actions.

00:22:27.000 So it's completely different.

00:22:29.000 I do think we love each other differently.

00:22:32.000 With Anna, can I follow up on that?

00:22:36.000 Do you think we were taught to love each other differently or is it like we are different by nature?

00:22:42.000 I think by nature.

00:22:43.000 I think it's a nature thing just because if you look even at the beginning of the Bible, Adam and Eve, they had their own set positions when they were brought on earth itself.

00:22:51.000 So I think so, yeah.

00:22:52.000 Ever since beginning, we all have our own positions.

00:22:58.000 I mean, I think definitely instinctively, yeah, we obviously behave differently.

00:23:02.000 We bring a different value and energy to all relationships, whether they're personal or family or romantic.

00:23:10.000 I think the issue exclusively with the black community, and it's spreading, right? 0.99

00:23:24.000 And again, I think that's with friends, family, business, as well as romantic.

00:23:29.000 I think we're just not being taught how to be well-adjusted human beings in any setting whatsoever.

00:23:34.000 But where we suffer the most.

00:23:37.000 is the relationships because it's the most emotionally charged and then also it's the most significant.

00:23:44.000 Whereas family, you can have those falling outs.

00:23:46.000 You're still going to be brothers and sisters, you're still going to be cousins, you're still going to be auntie, uncle, mom, whatever.

00:23:51.000 The relationship part, we keep on separating before we figure out how to correct our behavior so we go on to the next relationship and ruin that also.

00:23:58.000 And then we keep blaming the other gender and we never would talk anyway.

00:24:02.000 I love that.

00:24:03.000 What about you, Fresh?

00:24:04.000 I'll say this, man.

00:24:05.000 So I'm from Barbados and obviously, you know, it's predominantly cheese on bread, black.

00:24:11.000 And, you know, I enjoy my black queens over there and here in America. 0.97

00:24:15.000 The problem is that, like, I think as a guy dating, especially if you're on the way to be successful or on the way up, some of you get jealous of us.

00:24:22.000 And let me explain what I mean.

00:24:24.000 So for example, let's say I'm doing well for myself and I'm climbing up the ladder.

00:24:28.000 Whatever reason you want to challenge me.

00:24:30.000 It's competition.

00:24:31.000 It's like, why do you compete with your man?

00:24:34.000 You get me?

00:24:34.000 So for me, I think that's another point as well because we're trying to get to, you know, the top of the ladder.

00:24:39.000 And for whatever reason, you guys try to pull us down when we're doing that.

00:24:43.000 Also, in the bedroom, I'm trying to smash, right?

00:24:45.000 Dog.

00:24:46.000 I'm pulling the hair, it comes out.

00:24:47.000 That's just crazy to me.

00:24:48.000 But then again, dog.

00:24:50.000 I'm just saying, bro, keep it real.

00:24:52.000 So that's the point I want to put there.

00:24:54.000 But again, you know, you guys can do better.

00:24:56.000 That's all I'm saying.

00:24:57.000 Can I happen to the snow bunnies?

00:24:58.000 That wasn't her question.

00:25:00.000 They tracked.

00:25:02.000 They tracked.

00:25:02.000 The tracks don't slip behind the micro lens.

00:25:04.000 No, that's not the taping.

00:25:08.000 Hold on, hold on.

00:25:09.000 I'm going to hold fashion foot to the fire.

00:25:11.000 Hold on, hold on.

00:25:12.000 That wasn't her question.

00:25:13.000 So now I'm going to pose this question.

00:25:15.000 Have you ever been loved by a black woman?

00:25:17.000 Of course.

00:25:18.000 That's, you know, not related to my religion.

00:25:20.000 Of course.

00:25:20.000 Yeah.

00:25:20.000 Are you sure?

00:25:21.000 My first girl, I shouldn't like what she was like.

00:25:24.000 My second girl was black.

00:25:25.000 Huh? 0.99

00:25:26.000 Snowbunny killer.

00:25:27.000 Sorry.

00:25:29.000 But the problem is, like, for example.

00:25:31.000 I was in my island, right?

00:25:32.000 I wanted to leave.

00:25:33.000 She's like, don't leave, stay here.

00:25:36.000 But it's like, it's all selfish.

00:25:38.000 And I can say that for most women, of course.

00:25:39.000 But, like, generally speakinging, that in particular was like, okay, I'm trying to do better for myself, excel, and become successful.

00:25:46.000 Come to America. 0.95

00:25:47.000 Thank God I came here.

00:25:47.000 Yeah.

00:25:48.000 But you want me to stay because you want to be selfish.

00:25:50.000 However, I came over here. 1.00

00:25:51.000 Same shit. 1.00

00:25:52.000 Oh, don't work late. 1.00

00:25:54.000 Come party with us. 0.96

00:25:55.000 No, nigga, I'm trying to be successful. 0.84

00:25:57.000 So to me, it's like, you're trying to hold me back from my dreams. 0.99

00:26:00.000 And white women be like, what do you need? 1.00

00:26:03.000 Hispanics be like, I'll come for you. 1.00

00:26:05.000 So I'm just saying the cultures are different.

00:26:07.000 You got me?

00:26:08.000 Hold on.

00:26:08.000 But hold on.

00:26:09.000 The expectation is different because the white girl doesn't have entitlement to you. 1.00

00:26:17.000 So you said earlier that you feel feel that black women act as if you're competing with them. 0.95

00:26:21.000 Well, what's the opposite of competing?

00:26:24.000 Working together?

00:26:25.000 Team.

00:26:26.000 So if they didn't feel like they were on home team, then you only left them the option of being competitive.

00:26:32.000 So a lot of black women don't feel that they're on the same team with us, which is why we keep referring to ourselves as black women and black men as opposed to black people.

00:26:41.000 So this is the issue with black women. 1.00

00:26:42.000 So this is why they have an issue when they see us with non-black women, because they feel like there is an entitlement there, because they feel like we're supposed to be home team.

00:26:51.000 Okay, so I'm home team, I'm playing the game, you fight against me, that's not teamwork.

00:26:56.000 when the last time you been home team i'm just curious okay so i went to the motherland like two weeks ago no it's not like a month ago and i was there with a with a sister like you took one with you you took a woman with you yeah we had a time.

00:27:16.000 And she came back here.

00:27:17.000 Listen, I'm just saying that that's what I've seen myself personally.

00:27:21.000 And other people I know are successful, the same thing. 0.70

00:27:24.000 I got friends at NBA, NFL same shit But can I give you some stats real quick, just really quick? 0.97

00:27:32.000 Did you know that the majority of married couples, like black marriages? 0.99

00:27:38.000 We mainly marry each other.

00:27:41.000 It looks like what they show in the media, like, oh, every successful man, they go get them someone outside.

00:27:46.000 Actually, if you really look at the numbers, we marry more of each other than outside of the race.

00:27:52.000 Yeah.

00:27:52.000 But a question for you.

00:27:53.000 Is this a successful black man?

00:27:55.000 Yes, yes.

00:27:56.000 Or you mean the average of black men?

00:27:57.000 No.

00:27:58.000 So she means it's not famous.

00:27:59.000 No, it's both.

00:28:00.000 If you can look at both numbers, the only reason why, it's, for some reason, media will only show more of the people who are interracially married.

00:28:11.000 Okay.

00:28:13.000 Two of our biggest basketball players in the league are married to black women.

00:28:16.000 Yeah.

00:28:16.000 Yeah, but that's in, I mean, isn't a gender?

00:28:18.000 Steph Curry, LeBron James?

00:28:20.000 No! 0.99

00:28:20.000 I'm gonna wait, nigga! 0.99

00:28:23.000 LeBron James! 0.99

00:28:25.000 You know that nigga does? 1.00

00:28:26.000 I don't care about him! 0.99

00:28:27.000 I don't care about his extracurricular activities!

00:28:34.000 Right now, Drake came out and told the truth of what happened to LeBron. 0.98

00:28:39.000 That nigga smashed some bunnies like a yesterday. 1.00

00:28:41.000 Okay, but he smashed, but he didn't marry him. 0.99

00:28:43.000 He didn't marry him, broke rein with them.

00:28:46.000 He didn't broke rein with them.

00:28:50.000 I'm glad that he's choosing the image over anything.

00:28:52.000 Let him do that.

00:28:54.000 You choose the snowbag.

00:28:56.000 Hold on, hold on, one second.

00:28:58.000 One second.

00:28:58.000 Because with her initial question about if black men and black women express and love the same way and express their love in the same way, the obvious answer is clearly no.

00:29:10.000 What I'm more interested in is how that expression, how we're defining love.

00:29:16.000 All right.

00:29:16.000 And my initial issue and concern, and I'll do both men and women.

00:29:21.000 So it don't come off like I'm only targeting one group.

00:29:25.000 And what's your name, sir?

00:29:26.000 Dom.

00:29:27.000 As Dom said pretty eloquently, actually, men tend to view their love through the lens of action service my view like for a lot of men's view is if I'm doing provision protection you know things of that ilk I'm coming home every day I'm loving you all the other stuff that falls outside of that that in their mind that has nothing to do with love so that's for them why they kind of can separate sex versus love because

00:29:57.000 that's how he sees it from what he's trying to express Am I saying that's the right way to do it or that's the healthy way to see it?

00:30:05.000 I'm just saying that that's how men see it.

00:30:08.000 On the flip side, women seem to lean more heavily with the concept of love with it being based on their feelings and emotions. 1.00

00:30:16.000 So the problem with that is although it's true, both sides, you got to like each other, but you won't always like each other.

00:30:23.000 You got to care about each other, but there's moments when you don't care about the other side.

00:30:28.000 And the issue is that when you lean too heavily with the feelings and emotions side, you're now going to start making really drastic and harmful decisions.

00:30:37.000 So when it comes to expressing love, One way to view this is through the lens of vows.

00:30:43.000 When men and women give vows to each other till death do his part and sickness. 0.94

00:30:49.000 and health, richer or poorer, that seems to be a disconnect with what it is that women are claiming when they say that they love a man.

00:30:58.000 Why do we say this?

00:30:59.000 If you're saying you love him and then you're giving all these oaths that's holding you to the standard of staying long term till death do us part, but we're having such high divorce rates.

00:31:12.000 We're seeing you all leaving.

00:31:14.000 Not necessarily just because he is or isn't doing certain things.

00:31:17.000 Or let's say he is not doing certain things.

00:31:19.000 The concern is from the male side, when we see what you mean by love, what you actually mean is, I love you until I don't.

00:31:30.000 So you know what I love is conditional.

00:31:40.000 So the issue is men actually don't believe you all are loyal to us.

00:31:44.000 We actually believe you're loyal to your feelings about us.

00:31:48.000 So just to clarify, that's how men and women are looking at this concept of love.

00:31:53.000 So when you're looking at...

00:32:03.000 And A, it's not totally accurate.

00:32:06.000 It's not real life.

00:32:08.000 And you're comparing and contrasting not only to what the media is showing you, but also social media.

00:32:13.000 Well, she got this ring.

00:32:15.000 Well, if you really loved me, you would do this.

00:32:18.000 Well, you should have been able to afford that.

00:32:20.000 Or now you're basically saying, I can't even submit or love a man until he makes X. You didn't just come up with that on your own.

00:32:28.000 So now your definition of love is not even just being led by your feelings and emotions.

00:32:33.000 Now it's being led by external things that has nothing to actually So I'm going to tell you what my personal made-up definition is right here in the moment.

00:32:45.000 Yeah.

00:32:46.000 Love for me is the ongoing commitment to stay, to serve, to provide and to nurture.

00:32:54.000 Period.

00:32:56.000 That's love.

00:32:57.000 Everything else we're adding are bonuses.

00:33:02.000 The ongoing commitment, the intentional decision to continue to serve, to protect, to provide and to nurture.

00:33:12.000 That's love.

00:33:13.000 everything else we're doing when we're in and out of relationships and putting all these crazy lofty standards on each other Everybody can do that.

00:33:21.000 But for me, I think that's a base foundational level that I can clearly see whether she's loving me or not.

00:33:30.000 Does that make sense?

00:33:31.000 Real quick, she had a disagreement because I get what you're saying.

00:33:34.000 You said it's not true how a man's human for feelings earlier?

00:33:38.000 Yeah, I was just saying that because I can't speak for everybody.

00:33:42.000 I can only speak for myself. 0.89

00:33:45.000 I just feel like if you actually love somebody for who they are, it's like, oh, it sucks. 0.51

00:33:50.000 I'm about to say this.

00:33:51.000 If I love somebody for who they are, no matter what they do to me, I'm going to continue to love them because I'm not just loving my feelings for you.

00:33:59.000 I love you as an individual.

00:34:01.000 So if I love you as an individualal, that means I accept you and all your flaws no matter what.

00:34:06.000 And despite how I feel, like I'm not too into social media.

00:34:10.000 I try not to be because that is kind of like the disruption of relationships and you're constantly comparing yourself to other people.

00:34:16.000 And that goes for both.

00:34:17.000 So if a man is saying, okay, he can give this to her, but I can't do that for my girl now.

00:34:23.000 And I don't need her.

00:34:24.000 I don't need whatever you're giving to this woman. 1.00

00:34:25.000 I don't even know her.

00:34:26.000 I don't care what she's doing.

00:34:27.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:34:28.000 So I feel like.

00:34:30.000 For me specifically, I love people for who they are.

00:34:33.000 I don't obviously if you upset me or whatever the case is, we're going to have to take our space.

00:34:38.000 We have to be alone.

00:34:39.000 We need to think before we can come back and be in union together and actually have a conversation.

00:34:44.000 But if I don't love you for who you are, first, I'm not going to get myself in feelings about you.

00:34:51.000 And then now I'm kind of using my feelings as like a control mechanism in a way.

00:34:55.000 And I'm sure we all have been there where it's like, we feel crazy.

00:34:58.000 But it's like, if I'm like, and this happened to me recently where it's like, I felt like I was like, I like somebody so much, I was in love.

00:35:05.000 But I'm there so deep that I lost myself. 0.99

00:35:08.000 And then it's like, oh, shit. 0.99

00:35:09.000 But then it's like, I still love him. 1.00

00:35:11.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:35:13.000 I still love him like to this day.

00:35:14.000 Just like who he is as a person.

00:35:15.000 So it's like somebody can even talk about him.

00:35:17.000 And I will be like, I know, I'm like, he hey, I know.

00:35:19.000 He's like, wait, I'm here, baby.

00:35:20.000 I still don't know.

00:35:21.000 Hold on.

00:35:22.000 Just to respond to what she's saying.

00:35:25.000 It's important in these conversations where we're talking about things in general, when we're not being specific, to take our own personal experience and project that onto society and everybody else.

00:35:36.000 If most women thought like you did, they wouldn't be initiating 70 to 80 percent of the divorces. 1.00

00:35:41.000 So the reality is you may love people for who they are.

00:35:45.000 and be able to accept them and their flaws and their shortcomings and their low points.

00:35:50.000 A lot of people are not able to do that. 1.00

00:35:52.000 Gotcha, bitch. 1.00

00:35:53.000 Now with men and women, now with men and women, that looks different. 0.99

00:35:57.000 I don't actually think it's a gendered issue. 0.68

00:36:00.000 For men, I genuinely do believe the more that we're able to master and lean in on our purpose, our values, and our ability to maintain the commitment that we've offered to her, that is the ultimate form of us being able to show that we love this woman.

00:36:17.000 For women, the ability to not be led primarily by her emotions when they are negative, and still be able to show up, still be able to be present, still be able to cook.

00:36:28.000 still be able to be nice and nurturing even when she don't want to.

00:36:31.000 And have sex. 0.65

00:36:33.000 Okay? 0.99

00:36:34.000 That's love.

00:36:37.000 A lot, how many men are in marriages and relationships that say it was after she got comfortable or when things are going south or between us the sex decline the intimacy decline so it's not based on your love it's based on your feelings in the moment for when so when you love him this is how you showing all these things but when your feelings change all those things disappear so that's the thing that we're as a man i'm communicating and saying that's why we see it so differently what if you reversed it You

00:37:07.000 know what?

00:37:09.000 I don't like her right now.

00:37:10.000 I don't love her right now.

00:37:12.000 So I'm not going to pay the bills right now.

00:37:15.000 Nope.

00:37:16.000 I'm not going, I know the charge got to be taken now, but I'm not going to take the trash out no more.

00:37:20.000 I'm just going to let the trash pile up indefinitely in the house.

00:37:23.000 Yeah.

00:37:23.000 Till she appreciate me.

00:37:25.000 If he started nitpicking and picking all the things that he just decided he's just not going to do anymore, you're going to learn very quickly and feel like this man doesn't love you anymore.

00:37:35.000 Men by default, because they're not initiating all of the breakups and divorces, are staying in relationships when they aren't even loved.

00:37:42.000 Or happy.

00:37:44.000 Right?

00:37:44.000 So that's how it just looks a little bit different.

00:37:47.000 We can't take our male brain and project it onto women. 1.00

00:37:50.000 And we can't take our female brain and say, well, this is how I think or this is how I feel.

00:37:55.000 So therefore, this is what it is for society.

00:37:57.000 We have to talk about in general because I don't want to get into anybody's personal, individual relationships or situations.

00:38:05.000 In general, this is how to me, I think men and women tend to express it.

00:38:09.000 And when we don't express it, this is how it destroys relationships.

00:38:12.000 So real quick, I get what you're saying 100% because you think it's going to be more individual and you're focused on the person.

00:38:18.000 But the question is, if that was true, where's your man now?

00:38:21.000 You're talking to me.

00:38:23.000 Yeah.

00:38:26.000 We're not getting in the personal stuff, right?

00:38:27.000 No, we're not.

00:38:28.000 No, no, no.

00:38:30.000 Because he's my DM.

00:38:31.000 No, no, she's not.

00:38:32.000 He isn't Maya. 0.96

00:38:33.000 Huh?

00:38:33.000 Well, Maya.

00:38:35.000 I don't know.

00:38:36.000 Maya, what are you trying to say?

00:38:38.000 What's up?

00:38:38.000 You're trying to go back to Maya?

00:38:39.000 Because I get your point, right?

00:38:40.000 And I think it's a valid point.

00:38:41.000 I'm just saying the person that you love or you fall in love became someone over time.

00:38:46.000 And that individual you love, you said, doesn't matter what they do, you'll still love them.

00:38:49.000 But where is your man now?

00:38:50.000 Oh, I wasn't them talking, honestly, before he cut me off.

00:38:53.000 Okay, go ahead.

00:38:53.000 I was, I was gonna say that I lost myself and I had to go be alone and actually like, come out of whatever it was, like, and realize what's going on and it doesn't matter how much I love you as an individual.

00:39:05.000 Guess who I need to love first and more?

00:39:07.000 Me?

00:39:07.000 Me.

00:39:08.000 So, it doesn't really matter where he is at right now.

00:39:10.000 Where am I?

00:39:11.000 Ask me where I'm at.

00:39:12.000 Where am I mentally?

00:39:13.000 Before I get into that because respectfully, he was going through whatever he was going through.

00:39:17.000 Okay.

00:39:18.000 And I as a man, I know y'all go through a lot and y'all don't like to talk.

00:39:20.000 Y'all like to be alone and this, that and third.

00:39:22.000 But me as a person, I grew up with both my mother and my father.

00:39:25.000 And I've seen my dad in spaces.

00:39:27.000 And I know we're not talking personal stuff, but this is my life.

00:39:29.000 And my life is going to get to general questions as well.

00:39:32.000 But I've seen my dad in spaces where I don't like, you don't see men cry.

00:39:36.000 See my dad cry.

00:39:37.000 What woman do you know is like, oh my God, I see my black father cry. 0.98

00:39:40.000 My Rastafar.

00:39:41.000 No, that does not happen.

00:39:43.000 So when you feel me?

00:39:44.000 So it's like, but when you see something like that, you see a man in front of you that is crying in front of you now i have a lot of empathy for men because i know oh my god you're going through this now a lot of women might not have that they might not have a father they might not have a brother i was lucky enough that i had that so i can look at it like okay he's acting that way and low key it has nothing to do with me and he might not open up to me or tell me because he did not he was not raised like i was raised so even though he did whatever he did i i'm sorry but when the dudes be like it's not you it's me sometimes they mean

00:40:14.000 it and sometimes men have to go through it but men don't know how to process their emotions and i accept that i don't process it like you some and i'm even gonna say it like that no how no and let me not even say that some men actually don't know how to process their emotions and I know that that's okay some men are not okay with opening up to people and that's okay.

00:40:32.000 But if I am with you, the expectations are that you open up to me.

00:40:36.000 I open up to you and I want you to feel safe and I want you to feel comfortable so that you can do that.

00:40:40.000 You're going through what you go through.

00:40:42.000 Men have to be a provider, right? 1.00

00:40:43.000 So if you're not working, if you're not doing, you're not making money, you're not going to be able to give anybody anything.

00:40:48.000 You can't even give anything to yourself.

00:40:50.000 So it doesn't, I can love you.

00:40:52.000 Yes, but what is my love not going to put money in your pockets?

00:40:55.000 And that might affect your attitude now, right?

00:40:57.000 So I still love you as a person because I know at the end of the day the way you're treating me has nothing to do with me.

00:41:03.000 It has everything to do with whatever you're going through.

00:41:05.000 And however, you need to process that because even with me, I was definitely getting emotional and I definitely was acting out of character and I knew that.

00:41:11.000 I even said that to him, like, yo, I don't act like this about nobody.

00:41:15.000 I don't like people for real.

00:41:17.000 Like, so I don't act like this about nobody.

00:41:19.000 So if I'm acting like this, I need to take a moment, like, wow, I really like this man.

00:41:22.000 I need to take a step back too.

00:41:23.000 I need to be by myself and refine myself because if I can allow a man to get me out of my character, I need to figure myself out.

00:41:30.000 So it is not just, oh, like, where is he now?

00:41:32.000 No, there was, there's more to the story.

00:41:34.000 And I even was talking to somebody today about it and it's like, you don't, I said, oh, he didn't want to do this with me.

00:41:39.000 He was like, well, maybe he wasn't over this.

00:41:40.000 And I'm like, I mean, but it's been this long, I'm telling you goodness.

00:41:43.000 So he's broke.

00:41:44.000 He was like, oh, he's broke.

00:41:48.000 Hold on.

00:41:49.000 What's Ashley's question?

00:41:50.000 No, because...

00:41:53.000 Yeah, it was recent.

00:41:54.000 No, no, he was recent.

00:41:55.000 I can hear the trauma of what she said.

00:41:56.000 No, no, no.

00:41:58.000 Can you hear the trauma of him not being able to be a man to provide?

00:42:01.000 Oh, God.

00:42:02.000 But did you miss the whole thing?

00:42:04.000 Because I'm not materialistic at all.

00:42:06.000 I'm not materialistic.

00:42:08.000 What does he need to provide for?

00:42:08.000 Here's what I'm saying.

00:42:09.000 everything he needed to do as a man but as a man he can't give you what he thinks he needs to give you right so what but what is it that he needs to give me because he took out my trash he cooked me food he paid whatever he needs to pay for for me i don't get my nails done like that when i do get my nails don't guess who pays for it me if i need him to pay for it i'm sure he would but it's not that it's more like we talk about trauma and depression a man is going through something whether he has money or not again men sometimes do not know how to process their emotion sometimes is the key word all right and

00:42:38.000 we're talking about emotions not just and again now it's I'm not telling y'all his history.

00:42:56.000 Just tell her legally get a mentor. 0.99

00:42:58.000 No, no, no.

00:43:00.000 You don't care if he got money or not.

00:43:01.000 You don't even respect him.

00:43:03.000 He need money for me.

00:43:03.000 I'm sorry.

00:43:04.000 He can't be no broke nigga and no bum nigga. 1.00

00:43:06.000 That's for sure. 0.79

00:43:06.000 But I'm just saying, like, I'm not about to sit. 0.79

00:43:08.000 He was successful.

00:43:09.000 So I'm not about to sit here and act like he was not.

00:43:11.000 So he bought holes of the stuff and not you. 1.00

00:43:12.000 No, the fuck. 1.00

00:43:13.000 I wish a nigga would stop hearing me. 1.00

00:43:15.000 You're not supposed to be. 0.97

00:43:16.000 Cause it's not here.

00:43:17.000 No, no, no.

00:43:18.000 It was not that.

00:43:18.000 But it was also like a lot of comparisons to like his previous relationships when he was.

00:43:22.000 He was in the NFL. 0.99

00:43:23.000 And then he like, shit happens. 1.00

00:43:25.000 Like, what the fuck happens? 1.00

00:43:26.000 I don't care. 0.99

00:43:27.000 I don't got time to judge nobody.

00:43:28.000 Respectfully.

00:43:28.000 And look, we talk about him.

00:43:30.000 And my dad almost made it to the NBA.

00:43:32.000 And you know what?

00:43:32.000 You know what?

00:43:32.000 Your parents be telling you stuff and you don't believe nothing they're saying.

00:43:35.000 They told me that I did not believe a damn thing they were saying. 0.81

00:43:37.000 I didn't believe them.

00:43:38.000 Because my dad said he was going to make it to the NBA and he did it.

00:43:41.000 You gotta look at it this way.

00:43:42.000 No, but that's the way we're doing it.

00:43:43.000 If we 3% make it, that means a lot.

00:43:45.000 I know.

00:43:45.000 But he didn't make it because he was and he wouldn't stop.

00:43:48.000 So that's another thing.

00:43:50.000 But I also look at it like, okay, my dad, his whole entire life, he wants to go to the league.

00:43:54.000 He didn't make it to the league.

00:43:55.000 And now look, you're sad.

00:43:57.000 You go through whatever because you are pushed.

00:43:58.000 You wanted something and you didn't get it.

00:44:00.000 That's your mental.

00:44:02.000 And it's the same thing for any dude that didn't make it.

00:44:04.000 Because you just said 3%.

00:44:06.000 And it's having to put yourself.

00:44:08.000 And this ain't just about him.

00:44:09.000 This about a lot of them.

00:44:10.000 Okay.

00:44:11.000 Having to put yourself.

00:44:12.000 And I don't mean to cut you off.

00:44:13.000 Just for the sake of what the original question was.

00:44:17.000 Excellent question, by the way.

00:44:19.000 and then connecting it to what you heard and what you just communicated you're describing and saying that these men emotionally aren't knowing how to process and communicate what they're dealing with right that's one of the things with with women fair legitimate critique right we as men can acknowledge that we've had moments or we may still struggle with learning and figuring out how to communicate our feelings and emotions.

00:44:47.000 Our issue is, or my issue is, a lot of women that say that have an assumption that when When you're communicating this man doesn't know how to communicate his emotions He doesn't know how to process them and he doesn't know how to share them The assumption is that every woman that's saying that is that she knows how to handle that I just about to say that yeah The reality is, is most of you do not.

00:45:15.000 Because that's why you struggle with handling your emotions and being led by your feelings sometimes.

00:45:22.000 Because the same emotions that told you to leave the relationship was the same feelings and emotions that at one point told you to get in it.

00:45:29.000 So the initial issue is understanding and recognizing on both sides.

00:45:34.000 He doesn't always know how to communicate it.

00:45:36.000 He doesn't even know what's happening sometimes.

00:45:38.000 Pat, like you said, it's not even always about you.

00:45:41.000 And when he has all that going on, and you're right, that he's not talking to somebody that's qualified.

00:45:48.000 I don't care if it's male or female. 0.94

00:45:49.000 When you're not talking to a mentor, life coach, therapist, or social worker that's trained to help you bring those feelings and emotions to the forefront to figure out how it's impacting your behavior, how you're showing up, you bleed that onto the person you're with.

00:46:04.000 So as men, we're just damaging and hurting y'all left and right, right?

00:46:09.000 Bleeding all over you.

00:46:11.000 And then, this is the issue on men's part when it comes to love, we're still expecting you to stay even despite that.

00:46:17.000 And that's legit.

00:46:20.000 You cannot cut me and then tell me how I should cry.

00:46:24.000 Or how long I should be bleeding for.

00:46:26.000 Or how long I should be bleeding for.

00:46:27.000 Or how long to heal.

00:46:28.000 Fair.

00:46:29.000 Or how high the hospital bill is either.

00:46:31.000 Okay.

00:46:32.000 Very specific.

00:46:33.000 But you get the gist. 0.50

00:46:36.000 So, in terms of, so, whether it's, I can't punch you, cut you, or hit you and tell you how to feel about it. 0.67

00:46:43.000 Right. 0.96

00:46:44.000 Right?

00:46:44.000 I can't tell you how long it is.

00:46:45.000 to heal about it but at the same time like i said before this work of understanding how we have to show up to better learn each other's communication styles.

00:46:56.000 A lot of ladies are struggling with this piece with men because they're trying to get men to think, process, talk, and emote like they do. 1.00

00:47:07.000 So it's difference between a man not saying nothing or punching holes in wall.

00:47:12.000 But it doesn't mean for him he needs to talk about it every week.

00:47:16.000 Sometimes he just needs to know who to talk to about it.

00:47:19.000 And most men, in order from a therapeutic lens, they feel better when they hear steps, strategies, and they do it and the things that they do.

00:47:30.000 And solutions.

00:47:30.000 And then when the things that they try to do, it improves.

00:47:33.000 the outcome that's it just real quick just after your point let's say i have issues in the nfl and uh my girl's at the crib she's at the crib right and i'm going through it as a therapist should i console in her my issues and just give her everything pour on her or should i go to the therapist myself and say you know what i need for i need real help from a professional It's a mix.

00:47:57.000 And I know everybody wants the cookie color black and white.

00:48:00.000 Either tell your girl everything or tell her nothing. 0.92

00:48:02.000 But that's not a relationship.

00:48:03.000 That's not reality.

00:48:04.000 And she's also not your therapist.

00:48:06.000 No.

00:48:06.000 So wise judgment is learning what she can and can't handle.

00:48:10.000 Her telling her nothing definitely ain't gonna help you when she never knows what's going on.

00:48:15.000 So now oftentimes she may start feeling it and feeling like she's done something wrong.

00:48:20.000 When in reality it's like you got so much in your head that she doesn't know.

00:48:23.000 She doesn't know what she can do to help.

00:48:26.000 It'll get easier for men if we start with, even if I don't know what to say or how to say it, at least tell her what you need from her.

00:48:32.000 Okay.

00:48:33.000 Yeah, right?

00:48:34.000 That's fair.

00:48:34.000 So if you start with that and she's showing up in the way she's supposed to when you're ready, because she's still checking in on you, because she's still serving, because she's still loving on you, when it's time and you feel like a lot of guys, they go through it on their own and come up out of it.

00:48:48.000 They eventually get over it.

00:48:49.000 Isn't it better though to do that?

00:48:51.000 Not always.

00:48:52.000 Because you're not doing life by yourself.

00:48:55.000 If you had a child and you're angry and tense and doing all this stuff and the kid is sensing and feeling this and the parent is never saying and recognizing my kid needs to know what's going on that's causing this and I need to stop making them feel like they're responsible for it.

00:49:12.000 Eventually the kid's going to interpret I did something wrong.

00:49:15.000 My mom or dad hate me.

00:49:18.000 That's how our girlfriends and wives feel. 0.99

00:49:21.000 Remember, if you are a man and you're supposed to be the leader, but you never lead in the area of emotions.

00:49:29.000 Guess who then gets to lead what happens with the rest of this relationship her feelings and emotions Jeff real quick yes what about going to the gym as a man I can burn all my emotions in there work it out back to work and back to life isn't that better better it helps you but it but the gym doesn't solve all issues talking helps but it doesn't solve all issues Every piece that we're pointing to from a male perspective,

00:49:54.000 same thing with women, there's no one size, there's no one thing you can do that answers all things in life. 1.00

00:50:00.000 You have to become a well-rounded, healthy individual, right?

00:50:04.000 If I'm just, if you come in for therapy and you experience this, right?

00:50:08.000 Right.

00:50:09.000 The person that comes in every single week, they're talking, they're sharing, they're crying, and now it's we in month six, and you're still talking, sharing, and crying.

00:50:20.000 What you gonna say?

00:50:21.000 There's no progress.

00:50:22.000 You're not doing the work.

00:50:22.000 Oh.

00:50:23.000 You're not putting in the work.

00:50:24.000 Oh, so communicating apparently isn't sufficient.

00:50:27.000 Right.

00:50:28.000 It's not that it's not important, just like working out can help you.

00:50:31.000 It can decrease a lot of anxiety and get a lot of things out of your body.

00:50:34.000 There's still more work you gotta do.

00:50:36.000 Right.

00:50:36.000 Okay.

00:50:37.000 Yeah.

00:50:38.000 So real quick, Chuck DBG in the chat, man.

00:50:40.000 Donna Marco for him.

00:50:41.000 20 stuff in the chat, guys.

00:50:44.000 Help us get there.

00:50:45.000 So real quick, you had a question.

00:50:47.000 for us as well, right?

00:50:49.000 Good.

00:50:50.000 From the Bahamas.

00:50:52.000 Too big up to the word.

00:50:54.000 Jeez.

00:50:54.000 Yes.

00:50:56.000 Calling you on everything.

00:50:56.000 Good.

00:50:58.000 Not calling.

00:51:00.000 Insider jokes.

00:51:02.000 But my question for the black man is, what influenced your preference when it comes to dating?

00:51:10.000 Are they based on love, unhealed wounds, or social?

00:51:14.000 Social light conditioning.

00:51:16.000 Great question.

00:51:16.000 That's amazing.

00:51:17.000 That's a great question. 0.92

00:51:18.000 Don't be first, nigga. 1.00

00:51:21.000 I think you say unhealed wounds. 0.56

00:51:23.000 I don't think many men or women would even know if they have unhealed wounds and it's subconsciously, you know, a trait that's going into their dating life.

00:51:30.000 But I would say for love, at least for me, be dating for love.

00:51:34.000 But that's only if I'm actually actively dating.

00:51:36.000 So I have to be in the mood for that, that I want to pursue that.

00:51:40.000 If I'm not in the mood to pursue love, I don't.

00:51:42.000 I just hold out.

00:51:43.000 You know, it's got to be in the mood for love because it's a strong commitment if you want to do it the right way.

00:51:49.000 I mean, you can't be the same man that you are outside of relationships.

00:51:53.000 that you can be when you're in because you change from being a dominator to a protector.

00:51:57.000 So all your traits, a lot of them, they change.

00:52:00.000 They go from domination, from conquering, from building I mean to building to protect and so you have to give up a lot with your lifestyle so I have to actively be in the mood for love and when I am I'm seeking it on the qualities of love itself okay damn I don't know how I should answer this um you can talk more personal you talk more what what I think generally speaking that that black guys are dealing with I think probably there's a lot of black men whether they realize 0.99

00:52:30.000 it or not I think a lot of them end up dating based on acceptance.

00:52:37.000 So what happens is for us the bar is extremely high and the requirements are stringent no matter what.

00:52:46.000 So what happens is with other cultures, the bar seems like it's lower with the individual female, but then it's higher with her family and her culture. 0.91

00:52:57.000 If you understand what I'm trying to say.

00:52:58.000 So it's like, yeah, the Italian girl, she's digging on me and, you know, she's feeling it and she's she's aggressive and she's motivated and all this other stuff. 1.00

00:53:07.000 But now what happens is moving forward with that relationship, now you have the difficulty with her in group, her culture, right?

00:53:15.000 And her family. 0.97

00:53:16.000 So, so again, that bar is super high for the black man. 0.98

00:53:19.000 Now when you're dealing with the black woman, it's reversed. 0.99

00:53:24.000 The bar is extremely high with her as an individual, but her family expects her to be with you, you know what I'm saying?

00:53:32.000 With you, her community, whatever, they expect her to be with you, right?

00:53:38.000 So for the black man, it's this constant inner search and longing for acceptance from everybody, right? 0.61

00:53:47.000 We need acceptance from our peers because black men ain't too easy going with who they chill with, who they will be friends with, right?

00:53:53.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.52

00:53:54.000 So that's tough.

00:53:55.000 Then, of course, in the workplace., what industry, how are you going to make your money?

00:53:59.000 That's going to be tough.

00:54:00.000 So it's always tough for us to get the W. So a lot of times, I think we end up pairing up with who shows us that acceptance.

00:54:08.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:54:09.000 And then, and then, so we all, I don't even want to, like, we, we, we, we, we're looking to be loved.

00:54:15.000 I think all human beings are looking to be loved. 0.98

00:54:17.000 I just think the level of requirement to equal acceptance for the black man is so goddamn high. 0.97

00:54:24.000 And we see it with y'all because... 0.99

00:54:31.000 This nigga be 5'8. 1.00

00:54:33.000 He drive a Toyota Camry. 0.96

00:54:34.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:54:36.000 And like, she'll fuck with that white boy. 1.00

00:54:38.000 But the black dude got to be 6'2. 1.00

00:54:40.000 He got to have a rollie. 0.96

00:54:42.000 He got to get this bread.

00:54:44.000 He got to have swag.

00:54:45.000 He got to be exciting.

00:54:46.000 He got to be dangerous. 1.00

00:54:47.000 It's like, damn. 0.99

00:54:48.000 So, yeah, we just constantly like, man, when are we ever good enough? 0.99

00:54:51.000 And, you know, who do we have demograph-wise that tells us that we good enough from day one?

00:54:58.000 Because most of us ain't got our pops.

00:55:00.000 And our pops is probably who would be that person that's like, you good enough because you me.

00:55:06.000 So you got to be good enough for your pops.

00:55:08.000 In the beginning.

00:55:09.000 Yeah, if you're not good enough as you get older, he's going to be disappointed.

00:55:12.000 And then you're trying to please your dad.

00:55:13.000 But I think black men would be better off if we were trying to appease our fathers rather than literally everyone else we come in contact with on the planet.

00:55:25.000 By the way, they're calling you Jeff. 0.88

00:55:27.000 You knew Kevin Samuels in the chat.

00:55:28.000 That's funny.

00:55:29.000 Yeah, I knew that was coming.

00:55:30.000 So I'll say this, man, personal and general as well.

00:55:33.000 So growing up in Barbados, I was kind of like a nerd.

00:55:35.000 Still not a nerd.

00:55:37.000 And video games, you know, play some sports here and there.

00:55:41.000 But the attitude and headaches caused me to go a certain direction.

00:55:49.000 Because more often than not, it'd be because I would be going to play checkers or like play games with my friends. 0.96

00:55:57.000 Oh, you're a nerd.

00:55:59.000 Versus the white girls are like, oh, he's cool. 0.97

00:56:02.000 And to me, it's more of like a direction of, you know what, this is less stress and less pressure on me.

00:56:09.000 And then my first girl was white.

00:56:12.000 different from me so uh i just in that direction i guess uh it made more sense i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i guess i'm gonna go in here i'm gonna go in there i'm gonna go in there i'm gonna go in there Okay.

00:56:33.000 It looks just like, generally speaking, most guys I know from either a successful realm or a regular realm, they often go because of the headaches and grievances because for them it's like, you know what?

00:56:41.000 I got stressed in my life for my work.

00:56:42.000 I'm stressed at like my occupation. 0.99

00:56:45.000 I don't do that shit at home. 0.98

00:56:46.000 So at home, I need peace, quiet, and just like tension. 1.00

00:56:50.000 And whatever reason, they don't get that from their counterparts of the black community.

00:56:54.000 Can I just say one thing?

00:56:55.000 Sure.

00:56:56.000 Because I have a cousin.

00:56:57.000 He has a baby mom and she's Asian. 0.72

00:56:59.000 Oh, hell no.

00:57:00.000 Can I? 0.97

00:57:01.000 Happy nigga. 0.99

00:57:03.000 Let me just say, I've never seen a woman talk to her man in such a disgusting tone till I've seen her come to the family barbecue so and then another thing do you think that the reason why you have this outlook is that not only have you um just adopted that mentality i guess from barbados but you've also surrounded yourself by other individuals who feel and think the same way as you so you're like not giving yourself like um like an equal opportunity to even give your race 0.95

00:57:33.000 a chance because you've already closed your mind off and then you went and surrounded yourself by people who think just like you.

00:57:39.000 So there's no one like, nah bro, like, I, because honestly women are the same. 0.98

00:57:44.000 I have white homegirls, I got black homegirls, purple, yellow, it don't matter. 0.99

00:57:49.000 And we all have the same grievances.

00:57:53.000 I used my little word.

00:57:56.000 Okay, we all, we all have are the same grievances we all have the same complaints we all have the same wants needs desire i don't know so it's maybe we express it differently so so just before so i'll say this um you're right It's not the color, it's the person and the individual. 0.99

00:58:19.000 Because I know girls that are white, that are truly trash and the ghettos hell. 1.00

00:58:23.000 Here's my thing, though, right? 1.00

00:58:24.000 I was recently...

00:58:33.000 And like, I can see myself actually going to get on her.

00:58:35.000 Like, seriously.

00:58:37.000 And she's not white.

00:58:38.000 So I'm not saying that every girl is like that.

00:58:40.000 I'm just saying that like, generally speaking, on a general skill.

00:58:45.000 You've been hanging with Myron too.

00:58:47.000 Less acceptance.

00:58:49.000 I don't have to sound like, but...

00:58:55.000 So the general population is saying, oh, well, let me stay clear. 0.98

00:59:00.000 Well, she's getting nerdy black. 1.00

00:59:02.000 So you give off the aura that you don't really like black women, so if I've seen you in pop... 1.00

00:59:06.000 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 0.70

00:59:08.000 No, let's just say it.

00:59:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:59:13.000 You're bleeding all over the place.

00:59:15.000 Again, again, again. 1.00

00:59:16.000 I told you, my mama's black, my sister's black.

00:59:19.000 What did I have to do with that? 0.99

00:59:20.000 They're white inside, but you're white inside. 0.73

00:59:23.000 They do not act Like Ratchet But what does it have to do with it?

00:59:32.000 Right.

00:59:33.000 But you keep categorizing.

00:59:34.000 No, no, I'm seeing what the world sees.

00:59:36.000 You know what the world sees?

00:59:37.000 No, you've seen what the world sees.

00:59:38.000 We don't care about the world because the world is full of a lot of people.

00:59:41.000 Sorry, the statistics are not clear.

00:59:42.000 Stop trying to tell me where you're looking at the world from.

00:59:45.000 It's not clear.

00:59:46.000 No, I'm a part.

00:59:47.000 I need to say something to you.

00:59:49.000 Let me explain something to you.

00:59:49.000 Let me see what's going on.

00:59:52.000 What's going on is I was looking about to have your back, but now you're talking a little bit too crazy for me.

00:59:57.000 That's funny.

00:59:58.000 But I'm Caribbean.

00:59:59.000 She's Caribbean. 0.93

01:00:00.000 You're Caribbean. 0.79

01:00:01.000 I'm okay.

01:00:01.000 You're Caribbean too.

01:00:02.000 You're from what club?

01:00:04.000 Like born and raised?

01:00:04.000 No.

01:00:05.000 So born and raised and lived there is what I'm talking about.

01:00:08.000 I ain't talking about Americanized Caribbean.

01:00:09.000 I'm talking about born and I live in Africa.

01:00:11.000 No, I'm not.

01:00:12.000 It's not like that.

01:00:14.000 It's not like we say though, but like, like, Caribbean people. 0.57

01:00:17.000 When I first moved to the States, the people that did not like me the most were the black people. 1.00

01:00:22.000 Okay. 0.91

01:00:23.000 Let me talk.

01:00:24.000 But did you go to a predominantly black school?

01:00:27.000 Or are you straight? 0.58

01:00:28.000 So naturally, mostly black. 1.00

01:00:31.000 Of course, are going to do that. 0.82

01:00:32.000 But thank you.

01:00:33.000 You went to predominantly black school.

01:00:35.000 And I live in Tampa.

01:00:36.000 I grew up in Tampa, right?

01:00:38.000 I grew up in Tampa.

01:00:40.000 Still, again. 0.98

01:00:41.000 Now it's the black people still not liking the other black people to the point where now the black people are dating white people. 0.95

01:00:47.000 I used to date white people and it was okay because I didn't have a choice because all the black people liked the white people. 0.55

01:00:52.000 And I'm not like, it's no, like, it's just like, I've noticed like with, it's more of like an American thing.

01:00:57.000 So you keep saying white, which you just said you like a girl that's black and she was from, she was in Paris and she's from South Africa or wherever you said she was from.

01:01:04.000 So the question, it's not about the race at this point now, it's about the culture.

01:01:08.000 No, it's not like black women. 1.00

01:01:10.000 You just don't like American black women. 1.00

01:01:12.000 That's pretty much mostly the case. 0.99

01:01:15.000 It's more of like the stick.

01:01:17.000 Okay, for example, in this room right here, right, I'm sure you guys are all lovely and amazing.

01:01:22.000 And again, you're here talking.

01:01:24.000 We're on the same panel. 0.99

01:01:25.000 If I hated black women, you wouldn't be here. 1.00

01:01:28.000 Just to be honest with you, right? 0.99

01:01:29.000 So the point is, I don't hate black women. 1.00

01:01:31.000 I hate when culture is telling us, hey, this is our women. 0.99

01:01:35.000 You know, we don't want them either.

01:01:36.000 So my point is like, we need to change how we act as people because it makes us all look bad..

01:01:41.000 And look, for example, I'm considered a tether because I'm not FBA, because I'm not from America.

01:01:46.000 And they're a tether.

01:01:47.000 They call us a, what do you call that?

01:01:49.000 It's called a tether.

01:01:50.000 A tether.

01:01:50.000 Yeah.

01:01:50.000 Because I'm not a foundational black American.

01:01:52.000 I'm like, nigga, I'm black too. 0.98

01:01:53.000 What the fudge? 0.99

01:01:54.000 I get pulled over.

01:01:55.000 So it's an American term, though.

01:01:57.000 Black is an American term.

01:01:58.000 So they'll consider me black because I'm not American.

01:02:01.000 You get it? 1.00

01:02:01.000 So to me, it's just like this whole race shit. 1.00

01:02:03.000 But I'm just saying, it's the individual, not the entire race and culture as well. 0.99

01:02:11.000 So I heard like 10 different things going on between the men and women and I'm going to try my best based on what I heard and key points that I took away from what a lot of you were stating and then what I think is probably going on.

01:02:26.000 You said an excellent point and your point about the tolerance factor, the acceptance factor.

01:02:33.000 I don't think you all realize how significant that is when you were younger and you picked the wrong guys that you now know in hindsight weren't good for you.

01:02:44.000 there were good guys there the whole time.

01:02:45.000 They were...

01:02:50.000 Facts.

01:02:50.000 Corny.

01:02:52.000 Lane.

01:02:52.000 Nerds.

01:02:53.000 Nerds. 0.62

01:02:53.000 That was me. 0.62

01:02:53.000 Predictable. 0.62

01:02:54.000 God damn, man. 1.00

01:03:00.000 Just to clarify, for every man that you picked, there was a man you didn't. 1.00

01:03:06.000 So just peep and catch that for a second.

01:03:09.000 For every man that you picked, there was a man that you omitted.

01:03:14.000 Or 50.

01:03:15.000 Or 50.

01:03:16.000 To be fair, right?

01:03:21.000 So when you're expecting men that you didn't want, that you didn't take.

01:03:26.000 that you didn't go on with to wait around to when you may feel like dating them.

01:03:32.000 What human being deserves to live like that?

01:03:37.000 There's a segment of black men who actually do like and love black women wanted them. 0.90

01:03:44.000 I went to school with them and I'm going to give you an example from a y'all gonna hate me now of how horrible I was back in the day in my prime.

01:03:53.000 When I was in college, me and my very, very small cohort of guys that was going to a predominantly white institution, the PWI, we ran the school.

01:04:03.000 We ran the school.

01:04:05.000 We ran all up and through the school.

01:04:07.000 All right.

01:04:09.000 So for every woman that, and we were sharing the same women.

01:04:13.000 We didn't realize it.

01:04:13.000 We learned out later on when we talked to them.

01:04:15.000 Yo, he messed around with so-and-so.

01:04:18.000 So what we learned and observed, there were hundreds of guys that were going to the school we were going to, taking the classes we were going to, and they kept coming back to the very guy, 20%, that wasn't even being in commitments, wasn't even locking it down.

01:04:38.000 What's his name?

01:04:39.000 The football player that everybody's warning about, Travis.

01:04:41.000 Travis.

01:04:43.000 This is an excellent example.

01:04:44.000 He's cooked.

01:04:46.000 Everybody knows the story.

01:04:48.000 Everybody's talking about the warning, but nobody's talking about all the women that didn't want him until they learned his name yeah but they still don't want him so what i'm saying is yeah they still don't want him yeah so they want what he got right but the point i'm making is a lot of women dr umar who's going through his own challenges right now he brought up a key point about the finish line that when you were in high school and you did go to college there was an opportunity when you all can

01:05:18.000 choose your father's not picking your partner it's sexual liberation you could pick your own partners There were young men who were freshmen like you are.

01:05:28.000 We started experiencing this in high school.

01:05:30.000 When we were sophomores, the sophomoresore girls wanted to date the juniors. 1.00

01:05:35.000 When we got to juniors and seniors, they're dating 24-year-old men.

01:05:40.000 When we get to college, a lot of men were seeing the same exact thing.

01:05:44.000 They were going for the older guys that were in school, the guys that were out of school, or the small subset of men that was in the school that can get all the girls. 0.66

01:05:53.000 Super cool.

01:05:54.000 Right?

01:05:54.000 So what we're seeing, a lot of men are seeing, there's a huge pool of men that don't qualify for you.

01:06:02.000 You're not interested in them.

01:06:03.000 You're not checking for them.

01:06:04.000 You want the guy that's fun, that's charismatic, that the other women also want. 0.97

01:06:09.000 When you, a lot of you did that.

01:06:11.000 Not all, but many of you did that.

01:06:14.000 So the first issue is a lot of men are reacting and responding based off of where they're getting accepted.

01:06:23.000 Where they're getting accepted.

01:06:25.000 You all don't know what it's like to not be accepted from 18 to 28.

01:06:31.000 What I mean by that is all of you will get attention from men.

01:06:36.000 All of you will get pursued.

01:06:38.000 All of you have been asked out.

01:06:40.000 We are the pursuers.

01:06:43.000 We're the initiators of asking and pursuing.

01:06:46.000 So when you're the not even checking for you.

01:06:52.000 I literally went to a wedding two years ago of a guy whose father won the lottery.

01:06:58.000 Nobody knows about it. 0.78

01:06:59.000 But because he's not the most handsome, charismatic, good-looking, fit dude, he only wanted to date black women. 0.98

01:07:09.000 And none of them wanted him for his entire 20s.

01:07:12.000 Wow.

01:07:13.000 He ends up with a white woman.

01:07:16.000 And everybody's now saying, see, that's clearly that's all you wanted.

01:07:21.000 And I'm going to land.

01:07:22.000 So the first issue is you got to acknowledge that many of, not all, but many.

01:07:27.000 of the men, it's not even that they have to come from a place of being jaded and hating black women, they just go where they're accepted.

01:07:34.000 Number two, the standards.

01:07:37.000 When Dr. Umar is saying that a lot of our women, because of trauma, because of their mothers or grandmothers talking about what they went through, and now you got to make your own money and the guy got to make this and make sure did you this or that, although that's coming from a place of love, that's also coming from a place of survivability.

01:07:57.000 and risk factors.

01:07:58.000 And there's pros and cons to that.

01:08:00.000 When I was growing up, and even now, when you go to a Chinese food store and you go in there to order your shrimp egg roll and whatever, who's at the counter and who's in the back cooking?

01:08:11.000 They're all related.

01:08:12.000 They're all related.

01:08:13.000 The men and the women working. 0.96

01:08:16.000 How many people, not y'all in particular, but how many of our women are talking about he's not a real man unless he can afford, blah, blah, blah.

01:08:24.000 Unless he's making X amount.

01:08:26.000 So while they're building together, your man has to come like a finished product.

01:08:34.000 Hispanic community.

01:08:35.000 If a lot of stereotypically, if a lot of the men are doing construction work, working in the fields, working to do labor.

01:08:43.000 Are there women stereotypically also working cleaning units she working clean trucks cleaning food doing food trucks so hold on so she working the asian woman working the hispanic woman working and they working with their men with their men either directly for their men or with their men and there's a segment not all of our women but a lot of us are saying our men need to be here and then when you all get degrees and y'all start making y'all money do y'all standards go up or down Hold on. 0.74

01:09:13.000 Hold on.

01:09:13.000 Hit me.

01:09:14.000 I'm landing.

01:09:15.000 If your standards, if you keep working and you keep making money and your standards are not going down but up, the pool of men that now meet that, it doesn't matter what his race is.

01:09:28.000 The man that makes enough money that all the women in the world are saying they want, most of those men don't want to commit, they don't need to.

01:09:36.000 Exactly.

01:09:37.000 So that's the issue. 0.89

01:09:39.000 When part of feminism in the quest of making more money and being sexually liberated is you got to pick who you want it, you got to have sex with who you want it, you get to have children with who you want. 1.00

01:09:49.000 But the part liberal, not liberalism, but more so feminism left out is there's a consequence for that. 1.00

01:09:55.000 So when you don't want to build, when you want to focus on only the small minority of guys and your standard is going up over time, you're going to fall into a scenario where your mindset is if I'm not getting with the men that I want.

01:10:07.000 It's got to only be because the men hate their women or or because they hate us.

01:10:14.000 No, you price out of the market is what it is.

01:10:15.000 And that's oftentimes that's what's happening. 0.98

01:10:18.000 If you all look how you look now, I'm assuming that y'all all are ugly siblings. 0.97

01:10:23.000 We're all ugly ducklings five years ago, 10 years ago. 0.99

01:10:26.000 Still would have got a nigga though. 1.00

01:10:27.000 Yeah, you still would have got one.

01:10:28.000 So that's some of the things that are being communicated that I think maybe wasn't being...

01:10:33.000 being totally factored in.

01:10:34.000 Okay.

01:10:35.000 That was well said.

01:10:36.000 Real quick.

01:10:36.000 Yeah, I'll give you a deep thing in the chat.

01:10:39.000 If you don't, donate to the show 300 bucks listen ladies i don't like black women okay let's just keep it all the way at 100 i love black women period but did you p hold on just with what he said and what i just said notice that what he said and what i said was actually the same thing nothing that i just said with those experiences y'all choices 0.88

01:11:09.000 dating options. 0.55

01:11:10.000 None of that was about we hate y'all.

01:11:12.000 That was just your preferences, his options, who accepted them and what the standards were for what's being asked of these guys as we're both getting older.

01:11:21.000 Let her go and let her go. 0.91

01:11:23.000 No, go ahead.

01:11:24.000 You go ahead and then let's go ahead.

01:11:26.000 I would prefer you guys use the word settle instead of go where you're appreciated.

01:11:31.000 Because for us, the word settle is used.

01:11:34.000 And we just go where we're appreciated.

01:11:35.000 No, that's not the same thing.

01:11:36.000 No, no, no.

01:11:39.000 When they were talking about the black and the white school.

01:11:42.000 Yeah, but that's not settling, though.

01:11:45.000 Let me explain to me what you mean by that.

01:11:47.000 Hold on, hold on.

01:11:48.000 Let me explain to you what you mean.

01:11:49.000 We go as women. 0.81

01:11:50.000 We go where we're appreciated and they tell you, oh, you settled for this.

01:11:54.000 settled for that but when the men go where they're no that's not that's not hold on that's not hold on but that's not what you're saying hold on hold on that's hold on That's not where you're accepted.

01:12:09.000 That's at the level that you can maintain commitment.

01:12:11.000 Let me hear what she's saying.

01:12:14.000 And she's just saying, like, if you, like, okay.

01:12:17.000 I'm settling for, you will tell a woman, in other words, she's just like saying, make the language equal for both sides. 0.98

01:12:23.000 So if you're going to say that a woman is going to settle, like, if I am with a white man because that's what likes me, you're going to say, okay, you're settling for a white man.

01:12:30.000 That's what she's trying to say.

01:12:31.000 But if you say I'm going with a white woman because that's who likes me, they say, go where you're appreciated.

01:12:36.000 That's what she's trying to say.

01:12:37.000 So she's saying, you're settling.

01:12:39.000 for a white woman and I'm settling for a white man. 1.00

01:12:41.000 We're settling for less, essentially.

01:12:43.000 It's the same thing.

01:12:44.000 No, no, no.

01:12:45.000 It's not, it's not home, home.

01:12:47.000 That's not the same thing though.

01:12:48.000 I don't agree.

01:12:49.000 Okay, I can't understand.

01:12:50.000 It's not the same thing.

01:12:50.000 Can I come back to it?

01:12:52.000 Because it's going to tie all this together, right?

01:12:54.000 So the same, the same way there is a pool of black men that are being overlooked, those same black men, there's a pool of black women that they're overlooking.

01:13:03.000 Because let's be real.

01:13:05.000 No, currently, let's be real.

01:13:07.000 Most people like who don't like them, right?

01:13:10.000 So you might be a five, you're looking at a ten.

01:13:12.000 Let's be real.

01:13:13.000 You can't be mad that all the ten s don't like you, but you're a five.

01:13:17.000 And there's probably a five looking at you and you're not looking at them.

01:13:20.000 Dudes aren't mad at that, though.

01:13:22.000 Dudes generally speaking aren't mad at that, though.

01:13:24.000 They understand the game.

01:13:25.000 The problem is in school, all the hot-blood girls didn't want us. 1.00

01:13:28.000 Back then.

01:13:29.000 Mike Jones, though, will be back now with some money.

01:13:31.000 Now they want us, but they can't get us.

01:13:33.000 But high school is not your home.

01:13:34.000 So that sounds like insecurity.

01:13:36.000 You need to go.

01:13:39.000 Hold on one second.

01:13:41.000 Hold on one second.

01:13:43.000 Hold on one second just about this piece of what you just brought up.

01:13:46.000 This is the confusion when it comes to understanding the male experience.

01:13:52.000 Exactly.

01:13:52.000 And the female experience when it comes to dating and relationships.

01:13:57.000 Unless you all are virgins and unless you all have never been in relationships before. 1.00

01:14:02.000 Oh shit. 1.00

01:14:03.000 You don't know what it's like when it comes to never being desired. 1.00

01:14:08.000 What you learn and find out later on after your teens and potentially your twenties and how long it takes before you fall off is that your options start to decline.

01:14:18.000 There are men that never had options to begin with.

01:14:21.000 To begin with.

01:14:22.000 This entirely different frame of reference.

01:14:24.000 Completely different.

01:14:25.000 You cannot take the super successful men and say that's the experience for most men.

01:14:29.000 I am screaming at the top of my lungs and trying to tell y'all there are dudes that when you came here, there were dudes that you walk past.

01:14:37.000 There were dudes that serviced you. 1.00

01:14:39.000 There were dudes that do all types of things that are invisible to you.

01:14:43.000 They invisible to you.

01:14:45.000 That's their life.

01:14:47.000 Y'all start experiencing that when physical things start to decline, when you start adding additional things in your life that now are now burdens for the next man.

01:14:58.000 Buy your own drinks.

01:14:59.000 And you don't typically know.

01:15:03.000 And you don't always typically know what the quote unquote invisibility factor is until you get older and you have to start buying your own drinks.

01:15:12.000 So I've literally heard women have told me this in therapy sessions.

01:15:16.000 You can look it up and go on YouTube and type in women being invisible and you'll start to see the decline.

01:15:23.000 The reason why it's so distressing to them is because they went from 18 or 16 to 35 or 40 before they started even experiencing it.

01:15:32.000 that oh people ain't asking me out as much There's guys that was never a norm for them ever.

01:15:40.000 So what I'm speaking to is there's a segment of men. 0.54

01:15:43.000 Some of them end up in anger and they lash out at black women. 0.99

01:15:45.000 They use these podcasts and spaces to talk about how horrible women are. 1.00

01:15:50.000 There's other men who go where they're appreciated.

01:15:52.000 There's other men that go abroad.

01:15:55.000 But what I'm saying is, be very mindful and careful.

01:15:57.000 If y'all don't want all of you to be viewed and seen in a negative light in front of all black women this, all black women that, I was in an interracial relationship.

01:16:08.000 Y'all have been in interracial relationships.

01:16:11.000 I don't assume that you hate the black community when you did.

01:16:14.000 But there's assumption that when we do it, we do.

01:16:16.000 Facts.

01:16:18.000 Okay.

01:16:18.000 So only if it's horrible though.

01:16:20.000 Yeah, so when we as men are hearing what y'all are saying, what we're trying to.

01:16:27.000 explain is some of the men that you're describing are, you're totally right.

01:16:31.000 What you're saying, the settling, the hatred, the bigotry, the racism, there are men like that.

01:16:39.000 i am doing life with men who have never in their life uttered negative words about black women they just went damn near 40 years of their life where black women wasn't checking for them. 0.91

01:16:49.000 So he has to keep waiting for this unicorn black woman that's going to look past what all the other black women didn't want. 1.00

01:16:54.000 Or is he going to be accepted? 0.97

01:16:56.000 Where he's accepted. 0.79

01:16:57.000 Finally be accepted by the black woman.

01:16:59.000 But Umar is saying, I phrase it this way.

01:17:03.000 If, with me, use me as an example.

01:17:06.000 When I was younger, making less.

01:17:09.000 was even skinnier than I was now Do you think I had more options or less options less options less options so that means the same not just black the same women all races and cultures that didn't wasn't checking for me when I started making a little bit more money I got going in my career I'm now spending my time with millionaires and on yachts and getting on air helicopters and doing all sorts of stuff and they're seeing it online the very same women That would not go out with me. 0.99

01:17:38.000 That I think.

01:17:39.000 Who look like you are now wondering why.

01:17:43.000 Well, why he go with her?

01:17:45.000 Why we never went out?

01:17:46.000 Well, why we...

01:17:48.000 Unless you think I don't have a memory.

01:17:51.000 I distinctly remember asking you out.

01:17:54.000 That is an experience, a lived experience that when y'all are framing this discussion, you got to remember that last piece.

01:18:00.000 You have something and you have something.

01:18:01.000 Yeah, I'm real quick.

01:18:03.000 Real quick.

01:18:03.000 Guys, we're going to cut YouTube, every other platform of the Rumble.

01:18:07.000 We're going to have with the Rumble.

01:18:08.000 Link is in the chat.

01:18:09.000 Come on with the Rumble, guys.

01:18:10.000 We'll end a stream here and get crazy.

01:18:12.000 So we can break the rules.

01:18:13.000 Yeah, we can say whatever now.

01:18:14.000 Oh, just go on for like 10 minutes.

01:18:16.000 Huh?

01:18:17.000 Oh, okay.

01:18:18.000 So hold on, go ahead.

01:18:21.000 Hold on.

01:18:22.000 I want to address both of them.

01:18:23.000 You go first.

01:18:24.000 first oh that's what they do all the time all the time hold on let's let alexi go and i don't want to address what both of both of they said real quick before we change subject so okay i'm gonna be a little bit of a devil's advocate okay so the guys are the one who decide who to approach who to pick who to choose right excuse me Guys approach.

01:18:51.000 They don't choose.

01:18:52.000 They approach.

01:18:52.000 I understand what I'm saying.

01:18:53.000 Okay.

01:18:54.000 You know?

01:18:56.000 So, doesn't that say something if the person keeps choosing people that don't choose them the guy or the girl which one the guy i'm talking about the guy so i hear all these experiences oh none of the black girls wanted me what those are the black girls you chose well i have a question so regarding your question are all black women the same no no no no no no i know you're not saying that and i'm intentionally framing the question in that way so

01:19:27.000 we wouldn't assume that every black woman he's approaching is the same right hold on think think through what you're saying so when you say well he keeps going for a certain type of woman that they that don't want me ask a better question.

01:19:41.000 Okay.

01:19:41.000 How or what qualifiers do you are men utilizing to pick and choose?

01:19:48.000 Babes.

01:19:48.000 Or who, even who to approach?

01:19:50.000 Babes, watch how simple this is.

01:19:51.000 You know what it's called?

01:19:52.000 It's called proximity.

01:19:54.000 Yeah.

01:19:55.000 Before the internet, you could get the Jordans that you could physically walk in a store and find.

01:20:01.000 Yeah.

01:20:01.000 If you were a sneakerhead, every sneaker you had, you physically bought.

01:20:07.000 When you were in high school.

01:20:08.000 You didn't order the approaching.

01:20:09.000 The girls in high school, when he was in college.

01:20:11.000 Exactly.

01:20:12.000 When he was, we don't even approach people at work anymore.

01:20:14.000 It's usually proximity.

01:20:15.000 And this is why niggas go to the DR. Every single guy or every single black man is only shooting his shot with only fans women is a lie it's not just strippers and only fans women they're changing and you got to remember what did i say about standards going thank you when you get when you start making money or you dated the guy that elevated your lifestyle your standards are not going lower so the average guy you now don't see him on the same level with you i'm gonna just be frank with you if you're not a virgin and 1.00

01:20:45.000 you had a lengthy body count and you going through some trauma and yet you're seeing the other men across from you as beneath you that's the issue That explains that description is a lot of our women that mean that by default you're average.

01:21:02.000 Can you put the word in there?

01:21:03.000 Hold on.

01:21:03.000 You're by default put the word in there because being with that guy is what you consider settling.

01:21:11.000 Why it's not the same as when the brother gets with the chick that accepted him.

01:21:16.000 She's not necessarily less.

01:21:18.000 She's not necessarily less.

01:21:20.000 She's just a chick that accepted, right?

01:21:23.000 So I'll give you an anecdotal example that I know all the brothers from inner cities can relate to. 0.99

01:21:29.000 When you see, when you're on the train or you're on the bus and you see Shorty and you're like, damn. 0.83

01:21:34.000 And you're looking around and you're over there plotting in your head because you got a cold approach because that's the only way back then. 0.97

01:21:40.000 Right?

01:21:40.000 You finna holler at her, but you don't want to holler at her on the bus because you don't want to get embarrassed.

01:21:43.000 So you're like, what stop is she getting off at?

01:21:45.000 Because it's about to be my stop.

01:21:47.000 And I'm going to have to get back on the train to really go where I'm going.

01:21:49.000 Right? 0.98

01:21:50.000 And then you get off and you try to shoot your shot.

01:21:53.000 And she's already giving you that resistance and that attitude. 0.99

01:21:56.000 And you're like, yo, so what's up?

01:21:58.000 You know, I want to take you out.

01:21:59.000 I want to go somewhere with you.

01:22:00.000 I want to get to know you.

01:22:01.000 She's like, how are you going to take me out?

01:22:02.000 You ain't even got no car.

01:22:03.000 It's like, but Shorty, you don't got no car.

01:22:05.000 So then you're like, well, I mean, we could take a cab or something.

01:22:08.000 And she's like, a cab?

01:22:09.000 And you're like, well, I'm saying we could go to a movie or something.

01:22:12.000 She's like, a movie? 0.72

01:22:13.000 You see what I'm saying?

01:22:14.000 Now, in her mind, dealing with you would be settling. 0.99

01:22:17.000 But in reality, you're on the same goddamn level. 0.99

01:22:22.000 Now, hold on. 0.99

01:22:23.000 Let me finish my story. 0.99

01:22:24.000 Now, when you fall asleep on that goddamn train and you get off at the last stop, and you realize you're in the suburbs and then you meet the white girl 0.99

01:22:33.000 you're getting off the very same train and she got a car because she's 16 and got a license and daddy bought her one and you see her looking at you and you're like yo why's she looking at me like that and you're like yo I think she's trying to throw some choosy signals and you don't really know how to talk to white girls so you just utter some bullshit you've seen on the sitcom and shorty and she's feeling it and you're like, well, Dan, what's your name? 0.99

01:22:56.000 Kelly? 0.93

01:22:56.000 And you're like, oh, worry. 0.93

01:22:58.000 Well, you know, I live over here.

01:22:59.000 And she's like, oh, yeah, that's a bad neighborhood. 1.00

01:23:01.000 You know, my people told me don't go there.

01:23:03.000 You're like, well, you know, I could meet you up here.

01:23:04.000 And she's like, I'll go there as long as you're there to protect me.

01:23:08.000 That's not settling. 0.99

01:23:10.000 That she accepted me with the nothing that I had and she was willing to fuck with me and see where it goes. 0.99

01:23:16.000 Now hold on, one last thing. 0.99

01:23:17.000 And you're going to like this.

01:23:19.000 Because this is in your defense.

01:23:21.000 This is in your defense.

01:23:22.000 He's absolutely right that women from the black community tend to and other women are doing this more, but we are the trend setters anyway.

01:23:31.000 We are the trend setters with problems as well as desirable behaviors.

01:23:34.000 We're trying to set us on both.

01:23:37.000 So he's right when he says that, yeah, these women are passing up on these good dudes and they choose these particular dudes. 0.96

01:23:45.000 I personally do not judge or begrudge women for that behavior the same way they shouldn't begrudge us for going where we're accepted because we're doing what we feel is our best bet.

01:23:59.000 We're looking at the risk versus reward.

01:24:02.000 And we're thinking every time I try to make it work with a sister, I get rejected.

01:24:06.000 She tells me I'm not good enough.

01:24:08.000 She tells me I'm not enough and I'm willing to become more, but I would get there faster and better if she supported me. 0.99

01:24:16.000 And if I did, even if it didn't work out, I still would look at sisters differently because they fucking home team. 1.00

01:24:21.000 But when the white chick will let you borrow her car to get to and from that new job, and when that white chick will let you borrow that money to flip that pack, you see what I'm trying to say, even though it's the wrong thing, she's still trusting you. 0.98

01:24:34.000 So hold on.

01:24:35.000 So we're gamblers.

01:24:37.000 Men, we assess in risk, but women assess risk also, but they assess emotional risk, right?

01:24:44.000 So when these women are choosing these dudes that's at the finish line already, I don't blame them. 0.99

01:24:48.000 Because they're looking at it as, where did I see an example of Shorty messing with the dude that was nerdy or wasn't the coolest or wasn't an athlete and later he made good on that investment. 0.71

01:25:00.000 So she's thinking to herself, I would rather compete with these other bitches to get the nigga that's already finished than compete with the world or take the risk with the world that this dude is going to make it happen. 1.00

01:25:10.000 So I don't blame them for that. 0.96

01:25:12.000 Yes, it's a it's a bad investment.

01:25:14.000 It's a poor investment.

01:25:16.000 But yet and still I see why they're making that in the moment because they want instant gratification.

01:25:21.000 So at least if this dude ain't going to commit to me hanging or whatever, at least I'm going to find out now and I could also be the victim..

01:25:28.000 Now, if I try with the nerd and it don't, it don't become a nothing burger, I wasted a lot of time.

01:25:35.000 So I get sisters with that. 0.68

01:25:36.000 I get women why they just go for the dude that's already popping. 1.00

01:25:39.000 What do you say, Alexa?

01:25:41.000 Oh, i agree with you andy but the point what i was trying to ask you kind of passed over it so the deciding was you saw her and then she saw you and you tried to speak to her and she was not interested and because of that she was wrong in the whole rest of the story no no i'm just saying it's not wrong it's not wrong it's not wrong it's not wrong we're saying this is the consequences of both sexes what they're doing and what they're experiencing I think at the same time,

01:26:11.000 a lot of guys are just delusional as hell too.

01:26:13.000 Oh yeah. 0.98

01:26:13.000 Like a woman. 0.98

01:26:14.000 No, women are more delusional. 1.00

01:26:16.000 So don't even think I'm going to be a pick me shit. 1.00

01:26:24.000 But at the same time, if I want to be a heart surgeon, I can't expect to do it with an experience from Craigslist. 0.98

01:26:30.000 I gotta expect to go to school.

01:26:31.000 I gotta expect to have the qualities. 0.95

01:26:32.000 You can't really get bad bitches until you get the qualities that they're looking for. 1.00

01:26:37.000 It's delusional qualities, yeah, but it's qualities that exist. 0.97

01:26:40.000 So we are men, we know these qualities that they're looking for. 0.92

01:26:42.000 Why are we wasting our time not becoming the nigga that they want? 0.99

01:26:45.000 Agreed.

01:26:46.000 Instead of chasing them when we can't afford them.

01:26:48.000 I agree.

01:26:48.000 Like, bro, I was lonely for most of my life.

01:26:50.000 I turned 28 until I got successful.

01:26:52.000 And I made sure I stayed inside until I had enough to come out and it means something.

01:26:56.000 I didn't want to stunt.

01:26:57.000 I didn't go to the club until I got in the club getting in VIP.

01:27:00.000 I couldn't stand seeing niggas in VIP. 1.00

01:27:02.000 So I didn't go.

01:27:03.000 I went my whole life without partying. 0.99

01:27:04.000 I went my whole life really without fucking many bitches because I said I don't want these basic ones. 1.00

01:27:09.000 I want the ones at the top level. 0.99

01:27:10.000 So I knew what it took.

01:27:12.000 And I put myself in a position to get what I wanted.

01:27:14.000 But at the same time, it's a lot of dudes that's too delusional, bro.

01:27:16.000 And it's like, it's wrong.

01:27:18.000 It's a wrong reality.

01:27:18.000 But nonetheless, it's the reality we live.

01:27:20.000 I was very aware that I can't have the bitches that be in my bed now until I became Dom Lucre. 1.00

01:27:25.000 Jesus! 0.99

01:27:26.000 Tell them those assessments!

01:27:27.000 Trust them, buddy!

01:27:28.000 We got to be honest with our situations, honest with our reality.

01:27:31.000 And the same thing for those women, they're the same as 30. 1.00

01:27:34.000 So they get to have their fun.

01:27:35.000 First of all, I just started 30 seconds.

01:27:38.000 Well, by definition, you'd be cooked.

01:27:40.000 And this is why.

01:27:49.000 They won't.

01:27:49.000 No, let me speak his truth.

01:27:51.000 No, no, let me speak his truth.

01:27:52.000 I sat there, because you sat there and you sacrificed so much to get to that point.

01:27:55.000 Exactly.

01:27:55.000 You want the premiere of the premiere.

01:27:57.000 You want the Ruby.

01:27:58.000 You want the celebrity chick.

01:27:59.000 You want the one that everyone wants.

01:28:04.000 You want that premier type of woman and typically a younger woman isn't going to give you much pushback. 1.00

01:28:08.000 You're making too much money to hear bullshit at me. 0.98

01:28:11.000 So you don't want no pushback. 0.99

01:28:12.000 Young girl gonna listen.

01:28:13.000 She's able to be molded, which a lot of guys like because you need to reflect him.

01:28:17.000 You got to go with his vision because he has it figured out.

01:28:19.000 She ain't holding that resentment.

01:28:21.000 No, we got a chat coming.

01:28:22.000 Mal's Enice. 0.99

01:28:24.000 Most black women are just more difficult to deal with and lack self-reflection. 1.00

01:28:28.000 They're delusional about what they think they deserve. 1.00

01:28:31.000 Most girls of other races self more than black women. 1.00

01:28:34.000 Anyone wants to comment on this?

01:28:36.000 Yeah.

01:28:36.000 I would gladly do that.

01:28:38.000 Black men got equal.

01:28:39.000 Got equal issues.

01:28:40.000 The word you used was settle.

01:28:43.000 The key word is settle.

01:28:44.000 Do you feel special because somebody settles for you?

01:28:46.000 No, you're saying, you're saying when he's describing the behavior as difficult to work with, you're saying that only the women that endure that are settling.

01:28:56.000 No, no, and he said most girls of other races settle more than black women. 1.00

01:29:01.000 Oh, that's fine.

01:29:02.000 I wouldn't agree.

01:29:04.000 I wouldn't agree with that.

01:29:05.000 No, whatever.

01:29:07.000 What I'm getting at is if you're getting lost in semantics, verbiage, words, and not the outcomes of what we're talking about, what he just said is the key thing that men need to do to get better in this area.

01:29:23.000 Stop bitching, stop whining, stop talking about what the wind...

01:29:34.000 That's delayed gratification.

01:29:35.000 So that's how, as a man, you adjust to the rejection.

01:29:39.000 You know, if a 19-year-old white girl wants to sue you, don't come back now. 1.00

01:29:42.000 Oh, she's saying that on the day.

01:29:46.000 Don't come back now.

01:29:47.000 She's saying that on the day.

01:29:49.000 Don't come back now.

01:29:50.000 She's saying that on the day.

01:29:51.000 She's saying that on the day.

01:29:52.000 Don't come back now.

01:29:54.000 She's saying that on the day.

01:29:55.000 She's saying that on the day.

01:29:56.000 But I think a boss stop bringing something.

01:29:58.000 No, I don't want to block them now.

01:30:00.000 But she's still right though.

01:30:02.000 Hold on.

01:30:03.000 no, no.

01:30:03.000 No.

01:30:07.000 I don't think it's about race, right?

01:30:09.000 So his point is, did you say 18 in 19?

01:30:14.000 19 years old.

01:30:15.000 It's an adult.

01:30:17.000 Bar your windows and doors for your daughter. 0.99

01:30:19.000 No, no.

01:30:20.000 We're a little selective when it's adult and when it's 19 year old.

01:30:24.000 Yeah.

01:30:24.000 The teen thinking they're grown is different.

01:30:26.000 The teen thinking they're grown is different than the parent letting them know that they're still a teen.

01:30:35.000 Right.

01:30:36.000 Go have a NASA.

01:30:37.000 Let me ask you.

01:30:38.000 It's really back in.

01:30:39.000 So his point is valid because I don't think it has to do with white, Asian, black, or whatever.

01:30:47.000 What he's saying is that he made a conscious decision to take a step back and be honest with himself in the space that he was in at a certain time.

01:30:58.000 So he's saying that I see what I want for my life.

01:31:00.000 I see what I want to do.

01:31:01.000 So I'm going to achieve those goals.

01:31:03.000 As a man, I need to do these things so I can be in these spaces and have options.

01:31:08.000 Whereas us women don't have to say, oh, you can't have me. 1.00

01:31:11.000 You can't.

01:31:12.000 Oh, guess what?

01:31:12.000 I can have you and your girl.

01:31:14.000 You know, so it's like he has those options.

01:31:17.000 And I think what he was saying like women are delusional as well.

01:31:20.000 I think we're very delusional when it comes to men because we think that we hold ourselves at a high regard, which is fine.

01:31:29.000 But I think we're not honest about where we put ourselves.

01:31:32.000 And then we have these expectations on men that we don't even have on ourselves as women.

01:31:37.000 And that's a problem with us as black women because we expect these men to like, you know, go get the cow, slay the cow, cook it, put it on the grill, do everything else. 1.00

01:31:47.000 And as women, we're not even cleaning up, doing the dishes, putting stuff away.

01:31:51.000 And so it's like, what do you meet in the middle with this man but then it's like you put all these expectations on men and then when it's reversed right it's a problem for us because it's like oh you the man you're supposed to do this you're supposed to do that and for me personally I just don't understand and he can't say what you're supposed to do it's not that he can't say what he's supposed to do because I know we talked about submission for submission for me and I think a lot of women get it misconstrued I have to be I

01:32:21.000 have to trust you and you have to make me feel safe to submit to you.

01:32:24.000 I have no problem submitting to me.

01:32:26.000 But can I say something though?

01:32:28.000 Because like so many women have that same response and my thing is., that's not the argument. 0.99

01:32:35.000 When I say the man is the leader, I'm saying your man is the leader, meaning you chose that nigga. 1.00

01:32:40.000 So if you're not going to let him lead, you shouldn't have chosen him.

01:32:43.000 Just like if you're not going to provide for her, you shouldn't have hollered.

01:32:47.000 If you're not going to take care of her and the children, you shouldn't have pregnated her. 0.98

01:32:53.000 If she's not going to behave and be obedient, then you shouldn't have ever had a baby with her. 0.78

01:32:57.000 So all it does is it's like, yo, my baby mama's crazy and all this. 1.00

01:33:00.000 It's like, nigga, you're crazy. 1.00

01:33:02.000 You put it up in her. 1.00

01:33:03.000 Yeah.

01:33:05.000 So thank you for being honest though.

01:33:06.000 That's really good.

01:33:07.000 Good of you.

01:33:07.000 Real quick, A.A.J.

01:33:08.000 Entertainment says, at the end of the day, a man works hard to reach the top 5%.

01:33:13.000 Once he gets there, he has access to women all over the world.

01:33:16.000 And will choose the most feminine ones, regardless of skin color or race. 1.00

01:33:20.000 Yeah.

01:33:20.000 So, real quick, a personal anecdote from me.

01:33:23.000 I have used it a couple times, for y'all that haven't heard.

01:33:26.000 When I was 30, prior to 30, I had pretty decent success with dating or whatever.

01:33:34.000 But I realized about 28, 29, 30, dating was getting a little harder.

01:33:37.000 Expectations was going up.

01:33:39.000 People was being a little ruder than before.

01:33:41.000 Both sides.

01:33:43.000 Men being a little ruder, women being a little ruder. 1.00

01:33:45.000 I'm just noticing things are changing a little bit.

01:33:47.000 Trauma danger.

01:33:47.000 Yeah, right?

01:33:48.000 They don't dance no more.

01:33:49.000 So, I hadn't been on dating apps like that.

01:33:52.000 So, I decided at 30 to try to get on dating apps.

01:33:55.000 So, when I got on black, be okay.

01:33:57.000 Oh! 0.60

01:33:58.000 Right?

01:33:58.000 I didn't know.

01:34:00.000 Bro, take that ass. 1.00

01:34:00.000 Listen, nobody warned me. 1.00

01:34:03.000 Nobody warned me about what was to come.

01:34:07.000 Right? 0.95

01:34:08.000 i was on now just to clarify i was on bumble and i was on black at the same time bumble was actually how i met my wife really did she actually have good conversation because most women on bumble they open in lines as trash but they got the nerve to say must be able to hold a conversation you can't hold a damnn conversation. 1.00

01:34:27.000 Hey and hi.

01:34:28.000 Well, obviously it worked out.

01:34:30.000 So clearly we both did well with that.

01:34:33.000 But at the same time, before me and her got serious, when I was on black, I had met her in January of 2020.

01:34:41.000 And I was still on black at the time.

01:34:43.000 And I had to go see my cousin in Chicago.

01:34:45.000 And I had to get on the flight in Philly, had a layover for two hours in Atlanta, and got on the plane and dropped back, ended up in Chicago.

01:34:55.000 I forgot that my phone, the app was on.

01:34:58.000 So it was tracking my geolocation when I landed in Atlanta for two hours.

01:35:01.000 And then when I landed in Chicago and 15 minutes later, got in my cousin's car, turned on my phone, looked at the app and it was about 72 to 74 black women that had initiated contact with me.

01:35:18.000 What you said about delusion and not understanding where you are in the dating market for men and women and what you said is hurting us individually and collectively.

01:35:29.000 The women who were talking to me like you should be lucky to ask me out. 1.00

01:35:36.000 They had no idea.

01:35:38.000 That was my options after two and a half hours in two different cities.

01:35:43.000 So this idea that you get to dictate who I can date, who I can sleep with, who I can marry, who I can have kids with. 0.99

01:35:51.000 If you're going to be black in this country and I'm going to marry you, you don't get to act like all the other black women that gives the attitude and just disrespect black men and trashes me and embarrass me in front of others. 1.00

01:36:06.000 You're going to treat me as all the other women who are married are supposed to treat their men. 0.98

01:36:12.000 That's the standard I was able to uphold to because I had reached, I didn't realize it, but I had apparently reached a level where a lot of women thought I apparently had something to offer. 0.93

01:36:21.000 But I had to treat her as my equivalent. 0.94

01:36:25.000 What you're saying as great as it is from as great as what you're saying from men you gotta boss up you gotta be leveled up you gotta be able to have all the women that you want I'm gonna say this as a man I can't talk about how shitty the dating market was when I when I put the shit in it so if I if my body count is rivaling kings If my body count looks like some celebrity body counts. 0.84

01:36:54.000 And then I'm also talking about the quality of women and this and that.

01:36:58.000 Bro, if I'm looking at what happened out there, it's because of me so so just to clarify people can get married people cannot get married when dr umar wants to shame all of us you dating a snow bunny was it snow was it snow bunny yeah yeah yeah he doesn't have my issue this is my issue this is the standard i have to hold myself to and i have to hold these content creators to and all these people who are life coaches as a man You

01:37:29.000 cannot come at this black man sleeping with a non-black woman and this man ain't a real black man and this black man, this and this black man, that. 0.97

01:37:37.000 If you're having kids with black women and you're not marrying them and you're not living. 1.00

01:37:40.000 them and you're not living with your children. 0.99

01:37:41.000 You're not doing it.

01:37:42.000 You're creating the problem.

01:37:44.000 Exactly.

01:37:45.000 You're creating the broken homes.

01:37:47.000 But guess what, ladies? 0.99

01:37:48.000 Because I'm an equal offender. 1.00

01:37:50.000 You can't sleep with all the men that you say are shitty and then say that all black men ain't shit. 1.00

01:37:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:37:58.000 Okay?

01:37:58.000 And you also can't raise these sons yourself and then turn around and criticize and criticize the quality of men when you didn't allow men to raise them.

01:38:09.000 So that's a huge problem in the black community is that black women don't know how to fall back and allow the men to raise their children. 1.00

01:38:19.000 We've never been taught that. 0.95

01:38:20.000 Because the thing is, is that women don't raise children. 1.00

01:38:23.000 Unfortunately, contrary to their belief, women don't have the ability to raise children. 1.00

01:38:28.000 Women nurture children. 0.98

01:38:29.000 It's not the same.

01:38:31.000 They're not the disciplinarians.

01:38:33.000 They're not the ones that teach the values and the virtues that are going to make them successful in life.

01:38:37.000 They're the ones that teach them the social cures, the mannerisms, right?

01:38:41.000 How to be well mannered.

01:38:44.000 But that's actually hurting the black community because it's keeping our men subdued, right? 1.00

01:38:49.000 It's your mother that's going to tell you, but baby, don't go out there causing no trouble. 0.98

01:38:52.000 Don't go out there and flex too much and overshine the white man.

01:38:55.000 And this might happen.

01:38:55.000 It's all fair.

01:38:57.000 While the black man is the one that's supposed to be teaching his son, you don't have to be worried about whether or not the white man accepts you or employs you because you're about to learn a trade you're about to learn how to make money and make a way with your own hands and your own mind so that because because listen thing black women will sit there and complain that black men don't community build but at the same time they don't support us they don't trust us to make the decisions they don't trust us to protect and protecting is not just physical um threat protect is when we say we don't want you uh wearing hair that ain't yours because 0.95

01:39:28.000 We're looking at the ramifications of it.

01:39:30.000 Protection is when we say we don't want you out here twerking or we don't want you, you know, going to these type of establishments, whatever the case may be.

01:39:37.000 Black women have to support us when we make our decision. 1.00

01:39:39.000 Black men need to be able to make the final call.

01:39:42.000 We're going to take what you got to say into consideration, but it's hard to do that when we feel like you're going to fight us on the conclusion that we come to.

01:39:51.000 So it's the same thing with my children.

01:39:53.000 And again, Jeff, I'm not comparing women to children because we know we said we weren't going to do that, but if I'm entrusted to be the provider as well as the protector, everything falls under my responsibility.

01:40:04.000 So I need to have full authority over everyone.

01:40:07.000 So when my children come to me and say what they want to do and so on and so forth, I can't be the father that says, I don't even want to hear it.

01:40:12.000 I said no and that's that.

01:40:13.000 I got to at least hear where they're coming from, hear what they got to say and then I make my final judgment.

01:40:18.000 I might give them the option for some type of negotiation.

01:40:21.000 I might say, you know what?

01:40:23.000 I thought about it.

01:40:23.000 I spoke to your mother about it.

01:40:25.000 I'm going to let you do this, but it's going to be under these terms. 0.99

01:40:29.000 You can go, but your ass needs to be back here by this time. 0.99

01:40:31.000 You're going to call me on the hour every hour or you're going to share your location, whatever the case may be. 0.99

01:40:37.000 It's got to be under my terms.

01:40:38.000 You understand what I'm trying to say?

01:40:40.000 And you have to accept that.

01:40:41.000 Whatever I give you, you got to accept it.

01:40:43.000 So if you want black men to build community, you got to support them.

01:40:48.000 We can't go against white supremacy or whatever the thing is that's hurting us.

01:40:54.000 Black men cannot fight that thing if our women are not supporting us. 0.54

01:41:00.000 That only works, though, bro. 0.89

01:41:01.000 We can't have the infighting.

01:41:03.000 But that only works if they quote unquote picked right.

01:41:07.000 What do you mean?

01:41:08.000 The reason why they're doubting the leadership is because the men that they gave that opportunity to didn't lead. 0.94

01:41:15.000 I'm not only talking about romantically, though, because I feel like black women step over black men in general. 1.00

01:41:20.000 Yeah, but not just men that they're not fighting.

01:41:23.000 But if they can't do that in the relationship, we can't talk about the community.

01:41:26.000 Right.

01:41:27.000 So my issue is, this goes back to the matriarchy, feminism, patriarchy argument.

01:41:33.000 Well, it ain't got nothing to do with us.

01:41:35.000 It doesn't.

01:41:36.000 But the issue is if your father was supposed to screen out half your body count should have never existed.

01:41:41.000 No, I have to.

01:41:42.000 I mean, you should have never had that.

01:41:44.000 I never had, would never do it.

01:41:46.000 So we have two consecutive generations where these women are trying to pick leaders on their own. 1.00

01:41:52.000 Oh, yeah.

01:41:53.000 Cook.

01:41:53.000 Right?

01:41:54.000 So, never good.

01:41:55.000 It only this is me.

01:41:57.000 Every man with a microphone you can't listen to.

01:42:00.000 Every woman with a microphone you can't listen to. 1.00

01:42:02.000 I have to look for the outcomes of their lives and if they have a healed perspective of both sexes. 0.99

01:42:08.000 So, as an example, all these life coaches that's touring and taking y'all money men and women touring y'all filling up the rooms buying tickets and don't get better results that's never been in a long-term successful relationship right i agree call them up my names no what's the matter i'll tell you why because i'm talking about a behavior not a person right so i'm describing a behavior My

01:42:39.000 stance is actually not that you got to be married before you allow to talk about this because there's people that's married that's in situations and relationships I do not want.

01:42:45.000 There's people who are single and have better healed perspectives of both sexes.

01:42:50.000 So my stance is all about what are you promoting and do you have a healed perspective of both sexes regardless of your current situation.

01:42:59.000 So that's my starting point.

01:43:01.000 So when it comes to leadership as a man, if I'm not willing to be honest, if I'm going to try to lie and make it seem like I've always had it together, when y'all finally find out that I was a fraud, you're not going to listen to me even if I'm telling the truth.

01:43:18.000 it's a starting point for guys to be much more authentic and honest behind the microphone and when they're dealing with women on a day-by-day basis because if you let her know what your shortcomings are yeah you let her know whether you want to be with more than one woman if you let her know if you struggle with monogamy if you let her know all these things up front and you're honest and you're trying to grow now she has more information to know if you can truly be a leader and she can hold you accountable what did you what did Ashley say what did all these ladies say but if they're lying up front now we have to roll the

01:43:48.000 dice with our feelings emotions our wombs and who's going to be the father of our kid so we can't scream about accountability and legalism leadership if we're not modeling the humility, the authenticity, the transparency, and the vulnerability about saying, I haven't always led well, but this is the direction I'm going.

01:44:06.000 This is what I need from you.

01:44:07.000 Can you do it yes or no?

01:44:09.000 Okay, that's if you want to be serious.

01:44:11.000 Real quick.

01:44:12.000 I'm just trying to smash.

01:44:17.000 They should have a stamp on it for you.

01:44:18.000 I got something for you, bro.

01:44:21.000 I'm just going to say, like, I have to, like, disagree.

01:44:24.000 You were saying, like, pretty much creators are people like me, we're putting trash into the market.

01:44:28.000 I don't believe that's true.

01:44:29.000 I think I'm a diamond looking for another diamond going through trash. 0.98

01:44:32.000 If I'm fucking 30 girls and none of them offer to cook, don't clean up or anything, I'm not going to consider them a partner. 1.00

01:44:37.000 I'm going to go to the next because I have to go through my options. 0.99

01:44:40.000 It's not my job to fix a hole.

01:44:42.000 The hole can fix you.

01:44:43.000 Let's go, dog. 0.95

01:44:44.000 I'll tell you what.

01:44:45.000 When I find a woman that do the things I'm looking for, she do the things that align with me, whether I want to or not, I'm settling down because she aligns with my spirit. 0.95

01:44:55.000 But if you're not finding that, I'm seeking.

01:44:56.000 I got a question for you.

01:44:59.000 Who's the hole makers? 1.00

01:45:00.000 Who's hole makers? 1.00

01:45:02.000 No, no, no, no.

01:45:03.000 They're responsible.

01:45:06.000 Don't do that.

01:45:07.000 Who makes them the hole? 0.97

01:45:08.000 Who turns them into the hole?

01:45:09.000 They're the hole's on their own choice.

01:45:11.000 Who's contributing to them becoming the hole?

01:45:13.000 It's got nothing to do with me.

01:45:14.000 Who is minding that?

01:45:15.000 It's got nothing to do with me.

01:45:16.000 Listen, you can say that, but we're looking at the outcomes.

01:45:21.000 How do I know that if Jeff stops...

01:45:30.000 So I can't, I can't, bro, I can't have a body count of 30 and all 30 didn't work out and say they all hoes because I slept with them. 1.00

01:45:38.000 At some level, I got to acknowledge, did it take me 30 times to figure out what I want?

01:45:42.000 Well, they're not hoes because I slept with them. 1.00

01:45:44.000 They're hoes because they don't do anything but let me sleep with them. 1.00

01:45:47.000 They got to do more.

01:45:48.000 They got to show more.

01:45:52.000 So just when you say that, Dom, if the way you're sounding and talking, when I'm talking about we need to lead, we need to change, we need to improve the quality of women that we're even going to do any edition. 0.98

01:46:02.000 of this shit with, including dick discipline, including who we're giving access to our resources. 0.98

01:46:07.000 What you're saying is, well, hoes gonna be hoes, and I gotta run through them. 1.00

01:46:11.000 Well, who's actually leading the community then?

01:46:13.000 Because what I'm saying is we need to lead to change what's happening.

01:46:17.000 You're saying it needs to stay the same.

01:46:19.000 I'm not saying that at all.

01:46:20.000 What you're doing and what I did and what he's done and what all these other niggas did is leading towards the same outcome that we're complaining about right now. 0.99

01:46:28.000 And I'm saying the only way we're gonna get out of this is not that our women have to adapt and change. 0.97

01:46:33.000 We need to change this.

01:46:34.000 Our women only exist because women change, not because of men. 1.00

01:46:37.000 I wanna try this.

01:46:38.000 Let me ask Dom this, because because I agree with both of y'all.

01:46:42.000 I see where both of y'all is coming from.

01:46:44.000 And I think there's something in the middle of it, right?

01:46:47.000 Okay. 0.98

01:46:48.000 So when I meet women who are like good women, a lot of times it's a deterrent because I know I ain't gonna be I ain't shit. 0.94

01:47:02.000 I ain't gonna be right then right there. 1.00

01:47:04.000 You get what I'm trying to say and I don't even want to fuck around waste her time because I know I have the power and the ability to turn her into a slut. 1.00

01:47:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:47:10.000 She ain't a slut yet. 1.00

01:47:12.000 I got that. 0.98

01:47:12.000 You see what I'm saying? 0.98

01:47:13.000 Like I got the opportunity to make this chick a hoe. 1.00

01:47:16.000 So the question I want to ask you because I'm not down doubting what you're saying.

01:47:20.000 But I've said that before and I didn't mean it. 0.99

01:47:22.000 I was full of shit. 0.99

01:47:23.000 I was using that as an excuse to indulge myself. 0.99

01:47:26.000 And it wasn't until I started going overseas hella frequently in like hella countries, like just too many to count. 0.64

01:47:31.000 Like literally, I wake up and I'm not even sure what the fuck I'm at, where I was last week.

01:47:35.000 And what I realized out there is the good women were in such abundance, raised to two parent household, they're wives. 1.00

01:47:45.000 You know what I mean?

01:47:45.000 Like that's in their DNA, bro.

01:47:47.000 They can't they can't not be wives unless a nigga like me does what he's talking about. 1.00

01:47:52.000 And it put me in a fucked up predicament, because I was like, I should be marrying her. 0.99

01:47:57.000 I should be marrying her. 0.98

01:47:58.000 Like I was meeting women and the First thing they did was take me home to their parents and didn't tell me. 1.00

01:48:02.000 They're like, hey, you wanna come over for dinner?

01:48:04.000 I'm like, absolutely.

01:48:05.000 And then you get over there and they didn't mention that they and their mom was making dinner and I was watching the game with dad with a bear and I'm like, I'm not here for no good intentions, bro.

01:48:13.000 I just wanted to know if she swallowed.

01:48:15.000 So, you see what I'm trying to say?

01:48:17.000 So, I'm just asking you because I'm not doubting you.

01:48:19.000 You might be there.

01:48:20.000 I wasn't there yet.

01:48:21.000 I'm trying to get there.

01:48:23.000 If you were to leave this country right now, I would probably And a woman is coming with all those qualities, all those wife qualities you talk about. 1.00

01:48:30.000 Are you ready to hang up the jersey?

01:48:31.000 You're going to stop?

01:48:32.000 Well, I'm not.

01:48:32.000 But I'm just because, come on, because I'm back.

01:48:35.000 I'm back.

01:48:36.000 How old are you?

01:48:36.000 I'm 42.

01:48:37.000 How old are you, Dun?

01:48:38.000 everyone hold you 35 see it's dangerous bro and listen you're right men are the homemakers for sure but here's my point dom is saying i get what you're saying as well on you as well that they're hoes anyway i didn't make them hoes someone else did the nigga tom or or tyrone right so in that sense i can't save these hoes but that's indulging yourself though just like when i sold dope it is when i sold dope i try to justify it in my head i'm not the only one if i don't sell them dope yeah if i don't sell them dope they're gonna get the dope 0.99

01:49:08.000 anyway hold on hold on hold on and to jeff's point if you want to make a change we have to start with ourselves first however however i'll be honest jeff it's hard this shit ain't changing nigga it's not like criminal activity because y'all don't understand how hard like what when it was so hard for us the expectation prior to feminism was that if i knocked you up i had to marry you 0.98

01:49:38.000 today y'all not not black women modern women have such low such a low bar of expectation there's no there's no consequences i can have access to your body your womb uh you can get you can get std's like the whole thing all you gotta swallow and just mention that part and that's a Because it wasn't like that. 0.95

01:49:56.000 The craziest part is I did not have to meet your dad.

01:49:59.000 No, man, it wasn't like that.

01:50:01.000 I'm not blaming Donald Trump.

01:50:02.000 Rappers couldn't even get them to swallow in the 90s, bro. 0.95

01:50:04.000 They've done it, right?

01:50:05.000 But what I'm saying is it's twofold.

01:50:07.000 Women are lowering the standards for what I can get access to, but now I have to raise the standard for myself if this is going to change. 1.00

01:50:15.000 Because there's a thing in psychology called locus of control.

01:50:20.000 And it's all about when there's an issue, where do you place the blame?

01:50:24.000 Do you tend to look inward and say there's something, the black communities at this state, the daily markets at this state, the qual.

01:50:34.000 Am I going to see if the problem is this is what needs to change everybody else or does it have to start with me?

01:50:42.000 And what I'm basically rocking and suggesting to all of us, and I'm really talking to men first, I know she just wants to sleep with me.

01:50:50.000 I know she has no expectations.

01:50:52.000 I know she's going to give it to me on the first night.

01:50:55.000 I now I've been doing that in my twenties.

01:50:57.000 I'm now teetering in my thirties.

01:50:59.000 I'm still doing it.

01:51:00.000 At some point I got to make a decision. 0.95

01:51:02.000 I'm like, well, I can't keep listening to everybody and saying the same thing about how trash it is. 0.91

01:51:06.000 And I'm contributing to it.

01:51:07.000 So if I know all these things up front and I've done them before, all of it is at this point, I just got to look at myself and be like, so what happens if I finally decide?

01:51:17.000 All right.

01:51:18.000 Let me really try imperfectly to try to love a black woman the right way. 1.00

01:51:23.000 OK, that's it.

01:51:25.000 I'm not saying monogamous for everybody.

01:51:27.000 So what I'm suggesting is not everybody go and get married to the state.

01:51:29.000 That's what I'm not suggesting.

01:51:31.000 What I am suggesting is locking with your one, two or three women that you can afford to be opening up front from the. 1.00

01:51:38.000 the beginning to make sure they're all on the same page and become strong so that you have the ability to be able to shelter provide and take care of your kingdom.

01:51:49.000 Let's go, Jason.

01:51:50.000 Let's go.

01:51:54.000 Dom's supposed to have three winners.

01:51:55.000 I absolutely wait on him.

01:51:58.000 But he's fulfilling all the roles that they're cool with.

01:52:01.000 And Dom, let me ask you this.

01:52:02.000 Yeah, you ever had a chick, right?

01:52:06.000 And you smashed in the first 48, right?

01:52:10.000 Crime Soft, right?

01:52:14.000 And you continue to deal with her, right?

01:52:18.000 Oh, good Lord. 1.00

01:52:22.000 damn girl god damn yo my damn girl What was I saying? 1.00

01:52:31.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. 1.00

01:52:32.000 You wanna see some ass? 1.00

01:52:34.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:52:35.000 Yeah, so look, look, look, look.

01:52:38.000 And chocolate.

01:52:39.000 So look, if it was poisoned, you would have been dead.

01:52:43.000 Yeah.

01:52:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:52:47.000 All right, hold on, hold on, back on track.

01:52:49.000 All right, right, right.

01:52:50.000 All right, so, so, so you, so you, So you got the early clap, right?

01:52:54.000 Yeah.

01:52:55.000 Not the disease, but he was clapping sheep, yo, right?

01:52:58.000 And then you, and look, look, look, look, look, you continue, you continue to deal with her.

01:53:02.000 You taking her out, you having a good time or whatever.

01:53:04.000 And then she confides in you and admits, hey, look, you know what? 0.97

01:53:07.000 I didn't even think that you would you would you would be fucking with me like that and you're like what you mean? 1.00

01:53:12.000 She'd be like well I only fucked you because I thought that's all it was gonna be and I wasn't gonna see you again if I can get a pussy. 1.00

01:53:17.000 You ever been in that situation? 1.00

01:53:20.000 Okay so all right so we're all right.

01:53:23.000 We're all right in our own way.

01:53:24.000 So let's say we're different journeys of the same thing.

01:53:28.000 The same thing.

01:53:28.000 Different ages too.

01:53:29.000 Different ages.

01:53:30.000 Different journeys.

01:53:31.000 The point is certain guys have that influence and women turn over the trust to them and it's what they do with it. 1.00

01:53:36.000 And a lot of times what those guys do with it is they put the girl through it and then eventually she starts subconsciously or consciously just accepting yo, this is me and this is the course of it.

01:53:45.000 But I think at the same time, we still put too much blame on men.

01:53:47.000 So not enough on women. 0.77

01:53:48.000 Huh?

01:53:49.000 Yeah, we put too much blame on men and not enough on women. 0.91

01:53:52.000 Because tell me a movement that started among men where we decide we need to treat women different.

01:53:56.000 They got feminism. 1.00

01:53:57.000 They literally have a term for it.

01:53:59.000 It's happening now.

01:53:59.000 But, bro, it's a reaction.

01:54:01.000 It's action.

01:54:02.000 Don't date feminists? 1.00

01:54:03.000 That's a reaction.

01:54:04.000 This is the thing, though.

01:54:05.000 They have movements that we didn't.

01:54:07.000 They started it off.

01:54:08.000 They initiated the war.

01:54:10.000 They are the ones that chose to be different.

01:54:12.000 We wanted rights.

01:54:13.000 We wanted rights.

01:54:15.000 No, we did not.

01:54:15.000 We have that right to go.

01:54:16.000 You wanted...

01:54:17.000 Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

01:54:18.000 Because we're talking about history.

01:54:20.000 Feminism goes... 1.00

01:54:21.000 I'm sorry.

01:54:21.000 Let me speak.

01:54:22.000 Hold on.

01:54:24.000 Sorry if you make a mistake here.

01:54:25.000 The amount of time between when women had rights and when men got rights is a very small amount of time.

01:54:32.000 That is not what I'm about to say.

01:54:33.000 What I'm about to say is you're talking about feminism as a whole that started way too long ago. 1.00

01:54:37.000 Not feminism at all. 1.00

01:54:38.000 I'm talking about like modern feminism. 1.00

01:54:40.000 Feminism that started like in the nineties. 1.00

01:54:42.000 No, even the exception of feminism is a syoph, is what I'm trying to say.

01:54:47.000 These are people that funded a movement to divide us.

01:54:51.000 So all the rhetoric that you're about to spit to us, it's all lies anyway.

01:54:55.000 That's what I'm trying to make.

01:54:56.000 I'm not stressing this.

01:54:57.000 So they have a movement.

01:54:59.000 Yeah, it's all lies to begin with.

01:55:01.000 We were all oppressed.

01:55:02.000 We were all downtrodden.

01:55:04.000 And we were all with minimal rights.

01:55:07.000 So let's first clarify that.

01:55:08.000 They used to penalize black people for getting married.

01:55:11.000 So we know there's always been an agenda to keep us unmarried because that's the one thing that's been effective. 1.00

01:55:17.000 All the other shit they tried, we still find a way to leap and get above and beyond that shit. 0.98

01:55:22.000 So let's not talk about feminism as a whole. 0.99

01:55:23.000 Like, don't use that word.

01:55:24.000 Because that's not what you're talking about.

01:55:27.000 But what he's saying is they're subscribing to that ideology.

01:55:31.000 So it's causing an effect in our relationships which affects our children, which affects our culture.

01:55:36.000 So yeah, it's positive.

01:55:38.000 Yeah, there's points in history where women as a whole, as a consciousciousness, they say, as a culture, they need to change the way they view men and treat men.

01:55:44.000 We never really got to that point until Red Peel came, and that is only so we could survive.

01:55:48.000 It was an effect.

01:55:49.000 It's an effect of what they've done.

01:55:50.000 I feel like I'm.

01:55:52.000 Women have changed. 1.00

01:55:53.000 The same women that would have committed suicide in high school for sharing their nude photos or doing it online for free. 0.96

01:55:58.000 The status quo has changed for what women view themselves and how they view men.

01:56:02.000 They chose to change over time.

01:56:03.000 Women started to view their mothers and their grandmothers as miserable because they were not able to go out and fight. 0.99

01:56:08.000 I hear that.

01:56:09.000 I don't want to be inside like grandma.

01:56:11.000 I want to get out.

01:56:12.000 I want to be free.

01:56:13.000 That new mindset, it's a change.

01:56:15.000 That's why there's less marriages because the women change. 1.00

01:56:17.000 It's even proven in Spike Spike Lee's Shirek movie. 0.97

01:56:20.000 The movie is straight ass, but it had a great premise of how women control everything. 1.00

01:56:24.000 It was based on this war in Africa where women refused to give men sex and it actually led to the war being ended. 0.99

01:56:31.000 They did the same thing in Shirek in the movie and it led to the boys stopping like killing each other.

01:56:35.000 Yeah, and they tried to do that in Asia too.

01:56:36.000 That's what the 4B movement is. 0.92

01:56:38.000 But it only exemplifies it only exemplifies the fact that women are the ones that are starting these cultures, that starting these trending men. 0.99

01:56:46.000 Niggas are being less gangster now and doing streaming because streamers get pussy. 1.00

01:56:51.000 Gangsters, man, you had to be on your shit. 1.00

01:56:53.000 Niggas are scammers. 1.00

01:56:54.000 They're scammers because they get pussy. 1.00

01:56:56.000 Because that's what they wanted from us. 1.00

01:56:58.000 Whatever they choose is the status quo.

01:57:00.000 So We put way too much blame on ourselves.

01:57:01.000 We're only reacting to what they want.

01:57:03.000 This is their chaos that we exist in as men.

01:57:06.000 We're trying to survive.

01:57:07.000 Everything you're saying is 100% true.

01:57:10.000 And the question is going to be, if the women have changed like you said they have, and to a degree they have, and particularly third and fourth wave feminism, when it's really gone to some extreme components, and you're saying, well, they dictate everything.

01:57:24.000 If they're dictating everything, if they're leading in everything, and it's leading to these outcomes.

01:57:29.000 My question is twofold.

01:57:31.000 Are we going to wait for women collectively to change for the state of the black community to somehow get better? 0.99

01:57:36.000 Or do we as men need to individually make a change one by one with the women we're going to pursue, with the women we're going to do life with, the women we're going to invest in?

01:57:48.000 Because what I'm saying is not when when I'm speaking, I'm not talking about everything's black and white.

01:57:53.000 I know there's going to be people that's going to always do what they want to do.

01:57:56.000 Men and women.

01:57:58.000 What I'm saying is if we want if we want our birth rates to improve, if we want our wedding rates to improve, if we want our relationships to get better, if as men we keep saying, well, the women dictate in the women this. 0.99

01:58:12.000 That doesn't fly in my house.

01:58:14.000 That doesn't fly in my relationships at work in the field that 75 percent women. 1.00

01:58:19.000 And I am the director.

01:58:21.000 They can feel and think whatever they want.

01:58:25.000 The women that operate in my space where I'm servicing thousands of clients on a monthly basis. 1.00

01:58:31.000 You have to get on my program.

01:58:33.000 If you're not going to operate in my space, more power to them.

01:58:37.000 could do your thing I have to control my sphere of influence of what I got, who I'm responsible for.

01:58:43.000 I'm managing multi-million dollar budgets.

01:58:45.000 I don't have the time to be led by your feelings and emotions.

01:58:48.000 Let's go. 1.00

01:58:49.000 So what I'm basically suggesting is, yes, their sex, their pussy has all this power, not to the man who has sexual discipline. 1.00

01:58:58.000 Fantastic. 1.00

01:59:00.000 Not to the man who's thinking long term about legacy.

01:59:03.000 So what I'm suggesting is I was at that stage.

01:59:07.000 Well, they letting me.

01:59:08.000 This is what they want.

01:59:10.000 And I'm seeing the outcomes that I was getting and what they were getting.

01:59:14.000 So all I'm saying is everybody could do what they want.

01:59:17.000 The reason why our community is going in the direction it has is because the worst women are now leading everything. 1.00

01:59:23.000 And our other women that are not that bad are being silent and quiet. 0.99

01:59:28.000 So guess what?

01:59:29.000 That's why I'm talking now and saying out loud the things that need to be said about how we voting, how we moving, how we dressing, how we acting as men and as women.

01:59:38.000 If I'm going to sit back and wait, well, the women leading this, so I'm going to, they got to. 1.00

01:59:42.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

01:59:43.000 Who the leader?

01:59:44.000 Are we being led by men or women's emotions? 0.96

01:59:46.000 Thank you.

01:59:47.000 Are women's feelings and emotions leading this community or is it going to be me? 1.00

01:59:51.000 We're being led by women's emotions. 1.00

01:59:53.000 And I agree with you.

01:59:54.000 So what I'm saying is, so if that's true and that's where we are, how are we going to fix it?

01:59:59.000 If the question is, well, we're going to wait another 40 years for women to fix it. 1.00

02:00:02.000 Brother, I don't believe it can be fixed.

02:00:04.000 Adam was led by Eve's emotions.

02:00:06.000 I changed.

02:00:06.000 Actually, I changed.

02:00:08.000 How about this?

02:00:08.000 God gives instruction to Adam, he didn't protect Eve, right?

02:00:13.000 Come on, no, listen, no.

02:00:15.000 This goes back to the leadership.

02:00:17.000 Hold on.

02:00:17.000 This goes back to the leadership.

02:00:18.000 Hold on.

02:00:19.000 Let me finish.

02:00:20.000 Let me finish, right?

02:00:21.000 Right.

02:00:22.000 When God gave the instruction, he gave it to Adam.

02:00:24.000 God gave Eve as a gift to Adam.

02:00:28.000 So you let her wander off and go do her thing, and then you turn around like, I don't got no responsibility for this.

02:00:32.000 Again, when are you going to step up and take the leadership?

02:00:36.000 Let me ask you this.

02:00:37.000 Was Eve allowed to slap? 1.00

02:00:38.000 Was Adam allowed to slap the shit out of Eve? 1.00

02:00:41.000 He might have been. 1.00

02:00:41.000 They're not allowed to love each other. 1.00

02:00:43.000 They said, you know what I'm saying?

02:00:45.000 Because when she doesn't listen, when she doesn't listen to Adam.

02:00:47.000 Okay, so then what is it?

02:00:49.000 Is it you have to, so when do you insert your assertiveness and make it to that man that you do?

02:00:56.000 You know the truth.

02:00:57.000 You know that back in the day, when they started talking crazy and man could put his hands on them, the modern day man that's smart realizes, I'm going to reward the women that listen.

02:01:07.000 Thank you.

02:01:08.000 I'm not going to deal with the women that don't. 1.00

02:01:09.000 But if we do that, everybody's getting a passport, bro.

02:01:12.000 No.

02:01:13.000 Everybody's getting a passport.

02:01:15.000 It's a clarifying.

02:01:16.000 It's a clarifying.

02:01:18.000 But we say that.

02:01:19.000 But if we stop the only fan subscriptions.

02:01:21.000 Hello.

02:01:21.000 If we, if we, if 100%.

02:01:24.000 A man is doing the worst thing he's saying.

02:01:26.000 If we stop taking out the women that's displaying one thing but saying we want her to change, Instead of putting all this energy and time into trying to change women, why don't we just reward the women that's doing what we want up front? 0.74

02:01:37.000 So when we say this to women all time, you pick wrong.

02:01:39.000 You pick wrong.

02:01:40.000 You should have picked the right guy.

02:01:42.000 What I'm saying, bro, is what I'm getting at in terms of personal responsibility is the ultimate form of the number one factor for successful life is when you always blame you.

02:01:56.000 Because now you put everything in your control, even when it's not true.

02:01:59.000 I don't know.

02:01:59.000 I got to look at what you do on this one.

02:02:01.000 What you do is you dictating your reality.

02:02:04.000 I got to ride with Donald on this one.

02:02:05.000 Back to Adam and Eve, right?

02:02:06.000 They're not going to support you.

02:02:08.000 So listen, I was studying to be a pastor before I came to America, right?

02:02:11.000 And what happened was I saw the world for what it was before, sorry, after I came to Miami.

02:02:18.000 And Adam and Eve is a good example.

02:02:20.000 At the very beginning, God created Adam.

02:02:22.000 Out of his rip came Eve. 0.78

02:02:24.000 God said, there's a compliment to your life, a companion for you, and you're lonely in the garden, take Eve.

02:02:29.000 You know what Eve did? 0.94

02:02:31.000 I'm bored.

02:02:32.000 This is boring.

02:02:33.000 Oh, a fruit.

02:02:34.000 I'm not supposed to eat. 1.00

02:02:36.000 Fuck God. 1.00

02:02:36.000 I'm going to go do this shit. 1.00

02:02:37.000 And you know what happened? 1.00

02:02:38.000 Adam was like, damn. 1.00

02:02:40.000 She's kind of bad. 1.00

02:02:42.000 It tastes good.

02:02:43.000 Yeah.

02:02:43.000 If God can't, hold on.

02:02:44.000 We're talking.

02:02:45.000 We're talking. 0.96

02:02:46.000 If God can't save these holes, we can't either, nigga. 1.00

02:02:48.000 God can do it.

02:02:49.000 So I'm telling you, Jeff, I said it.

02:02:52.000 The life we live, bro, is for a reason.

02:02:54.000 So, like God comes back.

02:02:55.000 Yeah.

02:02:55.000 We said, but what else?

02:02:59.000 So ask someone who got a bachelor's in Biblical studies.

02:03:02.000 I'm going to say this.

02:03:03.000 Humanity was not cursed when Eve ate from the tree.

02:03:06.000 Thank you.

02:03:08.000 She did her own thing.

02:03:09.000 Hold on.

02:03:10.000 Hold on.

02:03:10.000 She did her own thing.

02:03:12.000 She went rogue.

02:03:13.000 It was only when the leader submitted to her that everything fell apart.

02:03:19.000 So when we allow them to dictate what's happening, that's why our community is going in the direction so what i'm saying for the fifth time we as men can keep doing exactly what we're doing and the outcomes that we're seeing is going to be exactly the same if you're not going to change anything as a man stop blaming and saying everything's wrong with the women if you yo that's all i'm saying i agree with you i'm just saying this yo yo if you doing what you're supposed to do as a man i don't care if you married or not if you holding it down for

02:03:49.000 the women that's dependent on you married or not You can talk shit about the community because you're doing the fuck you're supposed to do. 1.00

02:03:58.000 But if you're not being abstinent, you're running through everybody, you got kids that. 0.99

02:04:02.000 you're not taking care of. 1.00

02:04:04.000 Stop fucking talking about the women. 1.00

02:04:06.000 That's all I'm saying. 1.00

02:04:07.000 Jeff, I'll say this.

02:04:08.000 You're correct from a personal standpoint.

02:04:10.000 He's right.

02:04:11.000 As a man, if you follow that pattern, you'll have a better life, better quality of life and better women. 0.99

02:04:17.000 But as a nigga in streets, listen, bro. 0.98

02:04:19.000 Listen, bro. 0.95

02:04:20.000 Come on.

02:04:20.000 We're going to have some chats here, guys.

02:04:22.000 Real quick.

02:04:23.000 Subscribe to the chats for supporting the show, man.

02:04:25.000 Canva says, I peep.

02:04:27.000 Okay.

02:04:28.000 AJ Entertainment says, What's up, AJ?

02:04:30.000 Ladies, be honest. 0.99

02:04:32.000 Do you think you're competing with other women?

02:04:33.000 Real quick.

02:04:34.000 Yes, no, yes, no.

02:04:35.000 No.

02:04:35.000 No?

02:04:36.000 No.

02:04:37.000 No?

02:04:37.000 No.

02:04:38.000 Yes.

02:04:39.000 Yes?

02:04:39.000 No.

02:04:40.000 Who cares?

02:04:41.000 What's for me is for me.

02:04:42.000 Okay.

02:04:43.000 Okay.

02:04:43.000 Hold on.

02:04:45.000 Time out.

02:04:45.000 How do you?

02:04:45.000 Hold on.

02:04:46.000 Time out.

02:04:48.000 How do you compete with somebody you don't even know exists?

02:04:50.000 I don't even know you exist.

02:04:52.000 How am I going to compete?

02:04:53.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

02:04:55.000 No, no.

02:04:55.000 Just in general.

02:04:56.000 Whoa, whoa.

02:04:57.000 Hold on.

02:04:57.000 Time out.

02:04:59.000 Whoa, whoa.

02:05:00.000 Time out.

02:05:00.000 Y'all don't know that?

02:05:02.000 Hold on.

02:05:02.000 Y'all didn't know that?

02:05:03.000 Hold on.

02:05:04.000 Time out.

02:05:04.000 Hold on.

02:05:05.000 Y'all really let me...

02:05:06.000 I'm definitely competing.

02:05:06.000 Man.

02:05:07.000 I'm competing.

02:05:08.000 I'm competing with...

02:05:09.000 No, no.

02:05:09.000 His and hers is that question.

02:05:11.000 We're struggling with other women around, but... 1.00

02:05:12.000 No, no.

02:05:13.000 No, hold on.

02:05:14.000 His and hers is that question.

02:05:17.000 Because when we talk about women... 1.00

02:05:20.000 refusing to settle we talk about women calling dudes dusties talking about he need to be on my level if you can't do x y and z then why do i need you so let me get this straight are men competing absolutely no men are also good how are men not competing that's why i say no i say no because i like you i just like you if i Exactly.

02:05:43.000 If I like you, I like you.

02:05:44.000 If you like me, you will like me.

02:05:45.000 That's because he already won said competition.

02:05:49.000 That means he already won said competition.

02:05:53.000 He already became the man that you're even attracted to to begin with.

02:05:56.000 He has to compete.

02:05:57.000 He's competing when he goes to the gym.

02:05:59.000 He's competing when he's making money.

02:06:02.000 He's competing when he's putting himself in places for people to respect him.

02:06:06.000 He's constant.

02:06:07.000 He's always competing with other men.

02:06:11.000 Why do you think he became what he became?

02:06:13.000 For fun?

02:06:13.000 Yeah.

02:06:14.000 I'll give you this answer.

02:06:15.000 Because it was easy.

02:06:17.000 Because it was easy.

02:06:20.000 So look, me and Dom, right?

02:06:21.000 Go to the same club.

02:06:22.000 Gorush, right?

02:06:22.000 That's me going to Gorush, right?

02:06:24.000 Walking at the same time, there's girls there. 0.74

02:06:26.000 Guess what's happening?

02:06:27.000 It's competition.

02:06:28.000 You guys do your makeup, right?

02:06:29.000 You go out together as girls.

02:06:30.000 Guess what's happening?

02:06:31.000 You're competing because guess what?

02:06:33.000 Your friend next to you?

02:06:34.000 Oh.

02:06:34.000 But fresh.

02:06:36.000 The guys are also competing in that atmosphere.

02:06:38.000 Let me get, let me get, let me get, hold on, hold on,

02:07:03.000 hold on, hold on, hold on, fresh mention how society sees black women. 1.00

02:07:08.000 I'm a proof to you that it's drastically different.

02:07:11.000 So when I was working in the club, right, when it would get like where it's coming, when it's coming when it's coming up on prime time and the club starts fulling in because you know how like women are never on time? 1.00

02:07:22.000 Yeah, that part, right?

02:07:23.000 So when the women would start coming in more in a more frequent or more frequency. 0.99

02:07:28.000 So there's some already in the club, but you get to that prime time where they start coming in at the highest frequency and then it's obviously going to slow down a little bit as it gets later.

02:07:36.000 Yeah.

02:07:37.000 What would happen is there would be black women that would come in first and they would be the only women that would bring food. 1.00

02:07:44.000 Cray, right? 1.00

02:07:44.000 They would bring fried chicken and pizza and all kinds of shit to the club. 1.00

02:07:47.000 It's like, all right, if that's what you want to do, it looks kind of tacky, right? 0.99

02:07:50.000 So they would sit down, they would already get the first seat. 0.99

02:07:52.000 Like how you didn't get the seat you wanted because you were late, that type of shit. 0.98

02:07:55.000 So they would get there first, get the seats they want, right? 0.99

02:07:58.000 And then other women would start to come in now. 1.00

02:08:01.000 And when Latino women would come in, they'd be like looking to the left, looking to the right. 1.00

02:08:05.000 Hmm, where do we sit?

02:08:06.000 They kind of like purposely choose to kind of distance themselves.

02:08:10.000 But don't think nothing of it yet because there's still plenty of room, right?

02:08:12.000 Okay.

02:08:13.000 White women would come in. 1.00

02:08:14.000 They would literally sit as far away from the black women as they physically could. 1.00

02:08:19.000 And they didn't huddle up and have a discussion and say, all right, so how are we going to do this?

02:08:22.000 No, it was instinctive.

02:08:24.000 Wherever the black women were, the white women went as far away as they could physically. 1.00

02:08:29.000 And then the Latin women would come in and they would kind of be like, all right, well, you know. 1.00

02:08:32.000 Okay, well, we don't want to be too close to the black women, so they kind of put themselves somewhere in the middle. 1.00

02:08:36.000 They also would distance themselves from the white women, but they would prefer to be closer to the white women than the black women. 0.99

02:08:41.000 And I'm watching this phenomenon over and over again, four or five nights a week, every week, every month. 0.84

02:08:48.000 You can't tell me that it's a figment of my imagination, so that means that women are naturally avoiding black women. 1.00

02:08:56.000 Then I started noticing this shit in public spaces. 1.00

02:08:59.000 You go to the post office. 1.00

02:09:01.000 When it's a black cashier, people will literally be like, no, I'll wait. 1.00

02:09:04.000 They'll wait in line to get to, they'll take a black guy over a black woman, or they'll take a non-black cashier. 1.00

02:09:11.000 What the fuck is going on? 1.00

02:09:12.000 This person was in a rush when they were leaving from their car coming across the parking lot. 1.00

02:09:15.000 Once they got in the shit, they were like, oh, I can wait at this point. 0.99

02:09:18.000 Because they don't want to deal with that confrontational attitude. 1.00

02:09:21.000 This is real shit. 0.99

02:09:22.000 Then when the guys, when we would actually be dancing and doing our thing and trying to get this bread, it would be the black woman that would come up to me and just hold two dollars. 1.00

02:09:31.000 And I'd be looking at them like, okay, and they'd be like, oh, you gotta work for this.

02:09:34.000 And I'd be saying what Jeff just said.

02:09:36.000 I'd be like, time out.

02:09:37.000 When I got up at 6 a.m. and did my cardio, I worked for this.

02:09:41.000 When I was dieting, I worked for this. 0.99

02:09:44.000 When I was rehearsing for hours, I worked for this when i was sitting behind the screen with the with the dj making my music and making my set and editing all these bells and whistles and the i did the work now i'm here it's time to get paid but when the white women come up they come with a five dollar bill and just ask you what's your name and talk to you respectfully like a human being so there's something going on there Black women expect us to bust our ass to compete 1.00

02:10:14.000 and prove some shit to them. 0.99

02:10:17.000 Meanwhile, they come as if they have nothing to prove. 1.00

02:10:20.000 Whereas the white girl be running around trying to appease you, trying to get your validation, get your approval. 1.00

02:10:26.000 Am I good enough?

02:10:26.000 Am I cool enough?

02:10:28.000 So this is serious stuff.

02:10:30.000 I'm just telling you from the perspective of a guy, what we experience.

02:10:34.000 They're willing to work harder for us and they don't treat us like we have to disprove something, which is sad because that's how society treats black men.

02:10:42.000 You're guilty until proven innocent.

02:10:46.000 I look shady.

02:10:47.000 If they describe me, hey, he got prison tattoos and a prison build.

02:10:51.000 But if a white boy got muscles and a tattoo, oh, he got a gym membership. 0.87

02:10:55.000 So why does the white boy got a gym membership but I built my physique in prison?

02:10:58.000 Make it make sense.

02:11:00.000 But it doesn't even logically make sense because they took the weights out of prison decades ago.

02:11:04.000 But they still have this mentality is what I'm trying to say.

02:11:07.000 So this is what we're dealing with with is a uphill battle.

02:11:09.000 You gotta work with us, man. 0.99

02:11:10.000 It's not, this shit is segregation in the shirt club as well? 1.00

02:11:14.000 Yeah, absolutely. 1.00

02:11:16.000 And in the club, period, right?

02:11:17.000 It's all period.

02:11:18.000 When you ask, when you ask that, when that, when that, oh, sock.

02:11:22.000 When that question, when that question was posed by AJ, where he asked our women, do they think they're competing? 0.98

02:11:29.000 And we as men know we have to compete, and our women think they don't.

02:11:34.000 Do you think that may be an indication of why there's a disconnect when, whenever we say something that our women are doing that they may need to change, they feel like they don't need to change anything.

02:11:43.000 They fight us on it, and we're trying to get you to win.

02:11:45.000 What we're suggesting is.

02:11:46.000 is not only do we have to compete so does everybody else with what they want in life facts this isn't a black women thing you got to get that out your head as soon as possible the reason why you're least married the least the reason why our baby mom rates are through the roof is because too many of our women are convincing themselves or have been convinced that this is not a competition. 1.00

02:12:10.000 It's not a competition.

02:12:11.000 And how do I know that it's not just black women, but modern women?

02:12:14.000 What happens when they get married?

02:12:16.000 They let themselves go.

02:12:17.000 The competition's over.

02:12:18.000 Ma'am, the competition just began.

02:12:21.000 Yeah.

02:12:21.000 You don't finally get the thing you say you want, and the things that attracted him, you let go of.

02:12:28.000 What sense does that make?

02:12:29.000 Oh, I'm making all this money.

02:12:31.000 Babe, I can finally handle everything.

02:12:32.000 She get with me, and I quit my job.

02:12:34.000 Exactly.

02:12:35.000 Huh? 1.00

02:12:35.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:12:37.000 You work harder. 1.00

02:12:38.000 You're supposed to maintain it.

02:12:38.000 You work harder.

02:12:39.000 You work harder.

02:12:40.000 Overtime now.

02:12:41.000 Overtime, bro.

02:12:42.000 Yep.

02:12:42.000 Cut expenses.

02:12:43.000 Start investing.

02:12:43.000 You don't build yourself to where this man has gotten to walking in and out of the White House.

02:12:47.000 She's excited.

02:12:49.000 She's like, I think I can trust this dude.

02:12:51.000 He's showing all these traits of things that I know I can eat.

02:12:53.000 need in a man.

02:12:54.000 I get with him.

02:12:55.000 And then he said, all right, I'm good now.

02:12:57.000 I ain't going to do it no more.

02:12:59.000 Bro, you just did the switchroom.

02:13:01.000 We are all competing.

02:13:02.000 So when I did those two episodes last week and I was getting killed, when I said, no, you don't deserve a good woman. 1.00

02:13:09.000 Yep.

02:13:10.000 And no, you don't deserve a good man.

02:13:11.000 I am pointing out the things that he brought up and what we're saying.

02:13:15.000 You have to find out what the opposite sex wants and work. 1.00

02:13:19.000 Get good at it.

02:13:20.000 Get good at it.

02:13:21.000 Super hard.

02:13:22.000 Now, to clarify, if this was a store and you're a store owner and you got products on the shelf and people barely walking in, they looking at it, putting it back on the shelf and half the people ain't even walking in and they go into other stores.

02:13:38.000 You don't get to say, well, I'm not in competition with the other stores.

02:13:42.000 Well, I know what the value is.

02:13:44.000 No, no, no, no.

02:13:44.000 The market dictates the value.

02:13:46.000 You can't say all these men hate women if they're going to other stores, other countries, other cultures to deal with women.

02:13:55.000 It is a competition in terms of femininity. 1.00

02:13:59.000 in terms of fitness, in terms of your mouth, in terms of your attitude, the the questions that we asked was relating to that So every question you was asking yes or no to was showing how much you do or don't recognize what men value and are looking for in women.

02:14:15.000 So if you didn't realize that, that was the test.

02:14:19.000 And there's a compromise and a balance because listen, I want you all to hold on, hold on, hold on.

02:14:26.000 Who do you think, who, what culture do you think has the most masculine men? 0.97

02:14:32.000 Can I write a question? 0.93

02:14:34.000 All right, she thinks black. 0.51

02:14:35.000 Which culture do you think has the most masculine men? 0.98

02:14:38.000 Huh?

02:14:38.000 Black.

02:14:39.000 Which culture do you think has the most masculine men? 0.98

02:14:41.000 Culture or race? 0.68

02:14:42.000 Hawaiian.

02:14:43.000 Culture or race? 0.68

02:14:44.000 I don't really believe.

02:14:48.000 I was going to say black, but it is indeed a competition because it's literally referred to as races because we're in a race..

02:14:58.000 But who do you who's the least masculine men?

02:15:00.000 Well, I'm biased. 0.97

02:15:01.000 I'm always saying black men. 1.00

02:15:02.000 Okay, who do you think has the least masculine men? 0.99

02:15:05.000 And you?

02:15:08.000 You said Hawaiian.

02:15:10.000 Okay, very quick, who's the least masculine men?

02:15:13.000 I don't know.

02:15:14.000 I never did it.

02:15:15.000 Who?

02:15:15.000 Not good answer, good answer.

02:15:17.000 That part.

02:15:18.000 Who's the least masculine man?

02:15:20.000 Okay, masculinity's not about race, I ain't about to I didn't ask you that.

02:15:24.000 I said what culture or race you think has the least?

02:15:26.000 The least masculine men.

02:15:28.000 In your opinion.

02:15:28.000 I don't know.

02:15:30.000 Who you thinking? 0.86

02:15:31.000 Anything not black. 1.00

02:15:33.000 Oh, damn. 1.00

02:15:33.000 All right, Cardi. 1.00

02:15:35.000 I'm not black.

02:15:36.000 Anyway, who got the least masculine men?

02:15:40.000 The least masculine? 0.91

02:15:41.000 Uh-huh. 0.98

02:15:43.000 I think the least masculine thing to me is a liar. 0.99

02:15:46.000 what the fuck you got trauma all right you do that let me tell you something in my experience the most masculine men on the planet are arab men i said arab men are arab men and let me tell you why you know there's a balance and there's a compromise because in arab countries the women have the least freedom are we not seeing a correlation here. 0.99

02:16:18.000 So what I'm trying to say is that women need to understand they got to stop asking for things and not being willing to acknowledge the price. 0.99

02:16:26.000 You can't ask for a dude to be responsible.

02:16:29.000 You're not willing to pay him and give him authority.

02:16:32.000 You can't tell me you want a dude to be honest, but you're not willing to be accountable.

02:16:37.000 You can't tell me you want a dude to be masculine.

02:16:39.000 You're not willing to be feminine. 1.00

02:16:41.000 You can't say you want a dude to commit to you, but you refuse to cooperate.

02:16:45.000 It's like, it go hand in hand.

02:16:47.000 If you want a dude to protect you, he got to be able to tell you what you can and can't do because it's part of protecting you.

02:16:53.000 You can't say you want a dude to provide for you, but he can't decide what you can and can't buy.

02:17:00.000 If you want to buy whatever you want to buy, then you need to make your own money, but you can't do that and then complain, man, I really need a man to pay my bills. 1.00

02:17:06.000 Shit, I need to get married. 0.99

02:17:07.000 I'm tired of paying all my bills on my own. 1.00

02:17:09.000 Well, guess what?

02:17:10.000 Part of paying your bills is me being financially responsible. 0.98

02:17:13.000 And if I'm financially responsible for me, I damn sure ain't gonna let you fuck my money up. 0.95

02:17:18.000 Make it make sense. 0.96

02:17:20.000 I absolutely agree.

02:17:21.000 So I'm just saying that I think a lot of women don't realize there's a balance there. 0.99

02:17:24.000 If you want the tallest, sexiest dude, you're gonna have to share him.

02:17:28.000 He's not fit to commit to you.

02:17:30.000 It just goes hand in hand.

02:17:31.000 Okay, so back to the chat for quick.

02:17:33.000 That was a very good point, Ayande.

02:17:34.000 A-A-J again says, Chuck Andrew Wilson, question for the ladies and guy in the green suit.

02:17:39.000 What are women's duties in society? 1.00

02:17:42.000 Oh, what are women's duties in society? 1.00

02:17:44.000 Let's one each.

02:17:45.000 We'll start here.

02:17:46.000 What do you think women's duties are? 1.00

02:17:48.000 Oh, cool.

02:17:50.000 You see that competition?

02:17:51.000 Well, I want to learn.

02:17:52.000 How is that competitive?

02:17:54.000 Okay, so hold on.

02:17:55.000 I don't know him.

02:17:56.000 No, no.

02:17:59.000 Just that you don't know.

02:18:00.000 That's Street Fighter.

02:18:01.000 That's my house.

02:18:01.000 everyday that's a I'm a guy.

02:18:05.000 Just that you don't know.

02:18:06.000 She don't know.

02:18:07.000 What about you?

02:18:08.000 I think one of women's duties to society is to nurture. 1.00

02:18:12.000 Okay, okay, awesome.

02:18:13.000 For you?

02:18:14.000 I was gonna say the same thing, nurture.

02:18:15.000 It's not more, it's true though.

02:18:18.000 I would also say, right, because if we're not nurturing, we are like being of service.

02:18:24.000 Of service?

02:18:26.000 Okay.

02:18:26.000 You have to be of service to your man, you have to be of service to the community.

02:18:30.000 Help me.

02:18:30.000 Okay.

02:18:31.000 Okay.

02:18:32.000 No, I like what you're saying, because you bake cookies for the kids and you do the thing for the rally and you bring the community together.

02:18:39.000 Let's go.

02:18:43.000 What about you?

02:18:44.000 I think our women, I'm not like, I'm not from here, but I was raised so different.

02:18:48.000 No, women in general, gay society.

02:18:50.000 Caribbean.

02:18:51.000 Yeah, okay.

02:18:52.000 So as a Caribbean woman, our role is to take care of the household, that is, cook, clean, the man is to, you know, pay the bills and the woman is to be at home with the kids, cook, clean, the standard.

02:19:01.000 But what about, what's the contribution to society though?

02:19:05.000 Oh my God, duty to society, take care of your household.

02:19:07.000 We're not talking about nurture, we're talking about society, like other people, like being your neighbors.

02:19:13.000 Nurture, nurture people, love people, be kind.

02:19:14.000 I don't know what you're talking about.

02:19:15.000 Okay, okay, no, no.

02:19:16.000 That's good.

02:19:18.000 That's good.

02:19:18.000 We're multiplying.

02:19:20.000 Yeah.

02:19:20.000 Oh, exactly.

02:19:21.000 Yeah.

02:19:22.000 We need the babies.

02:19:23.000 We need the babies.

02:19:24.000 Okay.

02:19:24.000 Mother Batrian.

02:19:25.000 Go ahead.

02:19:25.000 Okay, next one.

02:19:26.000 Next one.

02:19:27.000 No, it was not set up.

02:19:30.000 You set yourself up.

02:19:32.000 No, I did not.

02:19:34.000 Okay, in the meantime, we're going to do the questions.

02:19:37.000 Okay, so real quick, man, the scores.

02:19:39.000 Oh, the scores.

02:19:40.000 From our previous discussion, what we were trying to see.

02:19:42.000 They don't know anything about, but go ahead.

02:19:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:19:45.000 For the audience, we had to actually ask the ladies beforehand a series of questions, and we did plus ten, minus ten, based on their responses of what most men in general liked.

02:19:55.000 You want to read the questions though?

02:19:57.000 No, that's too long.

02:19:58.000 Okay.

02:19:59.000 So, go ahead.

02:20:00.000 Real quick.

02:20:01.000 Ralph Kuwait says, Black women are the best looking women on Earth. 1.00

02:20:05.000 They just have horrible attitudes. 1.00

02:20:07.000 Imagine being the finest fuck., lose to a five simply because you can't control yourself. 1.00

02:20:11.000 Shame my head, crazy work. 1.00

02:20:13.000 Hey, hey, go to Africa, bro. 0.98

02:20:15.000 Go to Africa. 0.98

02:20:18.000 My white lamb is swinging on dudes. 0.99

02:20:19.000 Sorry, go to Africa. 1.00

02:20:21.000 Oh.

02:20:22.000 All right, so scores.

02:20:25.000 All of them were above 50 out of 100.

02:20:28.000 So by default, none of y'all are hopeless and failing.

02:20:31.000 You know the average?

02:20:32.000 Right.

02:20:32.000 You know the average?

02:20:34.000 And guys, just for some clarification here, they did a test with some questions before this show started.

02:20:39.000 Go check it out on Yande on his channel.

02:20:41.000 Ask your brother.

02:20:42.000 So go check it out, but these are the results from their questions.

02:20:44.000 All right, so...

02:20:46.000 Um, mm-hmm.

02:20:53.000 The key areas that you got right, that you clearly score very high on, was mind, body, and some extent with the mouth, and some extent with social.

02:21:05.000 Femininity was a zero.

02:21:07.000 So it like a bad score?

02:21:09.000 Meaning like that wasn't registering at all.

02:21:11.000 Sorry.

02:21:11.000 And body being the lower the scores, the higher.

02:21:13.000 I'm sorry.

02:21:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:21:14.000 and past in terms of how much a past matters in your past actions and behaviors of how you carry yourself in terms of a man judging you you for whatever reason thought that that wasn't significant in how men think wait say that again?

02:21:26.000 wait say that again?

02:21:26.000 it was some question that we asked at the end about like you passed remember I said Oh, you think the past don't matter?

02:21:35.000 Because she left it in the...

02:21:38.000 Yeah, right, right.

02:21:39.000 So...

02:21:41.000 You left it on the island.

02:21:42.000 That's why she's like, oh, these niggas don't know me. 1.00

02:21:45.000 No, I'm just like, I was more so from that question.

02:21:47.000 I changed my name.

02:21:48.000 So that's my 30s because, you know what I'm saying?

02:21:52.000 Okay.

02:21:53.000 All right.

02:21:53.000 So next score.

02:21:56.000 This is a tie between Ashley and Aliasha. 0.97

02:21:59.000 You both had 70 out of 100.

02:22:03.000 You both got the same scores when it came to your mindset.

02:22:07.000 You both had the same scores in terms of your mouth.

02:22:11.000 When it came to your body and how you treated and how you presented, you had a zero. 1.00

02:22:16.000 It made you want to do whatever the fuck you want to do with my body. 1.00

02:22:19.000 My pooms. 1.00

02:22:20.000 My pooms.

02:22:21.000 Got what you mean?

02:22:22.000 Whereas Ashley saw that there was some significance about men judging you by how you present your body.

02:22:29.000 In terms of femininity, You scored, you saw, which is interesting, you're like the most all over the place score because on one end with your body, you had a very low score but when it came to the view of femininity you still saw value in that whereas with you it was flipped where you saw the importance of your image and how you treat your body but femininity wasn't super high in terms of that softness like you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're elevating what you're thinking

02:22:59.000 men are seeing but you're lowering down what men are feeling when it's that that feeling of femininity aspect of it each of you has certain skills that was like i can see why she's been with men i can see why she's been in some relationships but i can also see some signs of why some of these scores are a little lower all right at number 80 uh miss miss manassas Miss Manassa, you got 80.

02:23:20.000 And in mine, you got two out of three.

02:23:22.000 I can't remember what the specific question was.

02:23:24.000 It was two out of three that you answered obviously what majority men would think.

02:23:27.000 There was one of those three questions where you was like, and I think you put your hand up and put your hand down at one point.

02:23:34.000 That mouth, one out of two.

02:23:38.000 So one of those, I forget.

02:23:40.000 We have to go back through the questions.

02:23:41.000 One of those, you was like, that makes sense.

02:23:42.000 And the other was like, nope, not at all.

02:23:44.000 I do not care.

02:23:45.000 When it came to body, you were like the other ladies, you ranked it quite high. 1.00

02:23:49.000 And then femininity, you also had it at a zero, which is interesting because the way you come off. 0.99

02:23:53.000 I'm very feminine.

02:23:54.000 Your questions are a little...

02:23:56.000 They're supposed to be different.

02:23:58.000 But they have to be, we can't specify them enough to where you get two in your head.

02:24:02.000 But each time we do this exercise, I'm going to try to make the questions better and better to try to get the exact results social in terms of social media and whether or not you're willing to give it up and and all of that you you score high and then last with the past you thought your past matters right so that's why you had a 80 now this score did i get a zero oh my god oh god oh god oh god you got higher than 80 oh yeah I got to do something with this test because

02:24:32.000 everybody else I could sense it and I could see it little things here and there where you all got fairly high passing scores.

02:24:40.000 But you kept putting your hand up and down so damn much.

02:24:45.000 You were at some point, first of all, it says 100, which is crazy. 0.65

02:24:50.000 Yeah.

02:24:51.000 And one of the things I'm wondering, if because of your age and because of where you are in life, you're more open now than where you would have been at a younger point.

02:25:01.000 I don't know.

02:25:03.000 Because I'm like, if she's getting 100 now.

02:25:06.000 I was married very young.

02:25:07.000 Okay, okay.

02:25:08.000 So if you were married very young, you're in your mid-30s now, and you don't want to stay single forever, the women that want to change that. 0.98

02:25:16.000 that want to change that their scores got to be super high because they got to be thinking what men think what men want because you you're not 25 anymore you're not 21 anymore so it makes sense to me so you got to be already modest yeah so it comes off like you clearly know what men think you clearly know what men want and you get it but do you care but do you care yeah okay we're scared of you too okay we got uh No, no, the purple one?

02:25:48.000 Canva.

02:25:48.000 I paid for a maid slash cook, a professional for other needs.

02:25:52.000 It's cheaper and my life is peaceful with no annoying lot of-ass entitlement from three or four of them in my house.

02:25:57.000 He bribed me for three or four of them, but that's no love.

02:25:59.000 He's not paying for me and everything.

02:26:01.000 There's a love, right?

02:26:01.000 There's a love in that.

02:26:02.000 You're paying for that. 0.95

02:26:04.000 Miles Sennis says, take the wigs out and get in shape and submit to your black man. 1.00

02:26:08.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:26:09.000 Okay. 1.00

02:26:10.000 Sure.

02:26:11.000 I point out the wigs.

02:26:12.000 I bet he can't even tell.

02:26:13.000 Who got real?

02:26:14.000 Exactly.

02:26:14.000 Green.

02:26:14.000 I can't even tell who got real.

02:26:16.000 PMG stacks on YouTube.

02:26:17.000 Come learn about silver stacking.

02:26:18.000 Don Gillette in the suit.

02:26:20.000 spin some support.

02:26:20.000 I'm a CCP.

02:26:21.000 Peace comes up.

02:26:22.000 Shout out to your brother for supporting the show. 1.00

02:26:23.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:26:25.000 He's saying, let's board his silver advice. 1.00

02:26:27.000 And then...

02:26:31.000 Oh, Miles again.

02:26:32.000 Mills again says, I'm not saying this for three or four black women, to be honest.

02:26:36.000 They need to be in shape with less and obey.

02:26:38.000 If they don't do that, then it's over.

02:26:41.000 What the heck?

02:26:43.000 Can I ask you something quick though? 0.98

02:26:45.000 Because sometimes black men ask for natural hair, but y'all looking at all the other races and expecting our hair to look like that.

02:26:52.000 No, we know.

02:26:53.000 Here's why I said.

02:26:54.000 Our hair don't look like that.

02:26:55.000 So we know your hair doesn't look like that.

02:26:58.000 Here's why I said.

02:26:59.000 Every time I've worn my natural hair in this super natural state, a black man is making a comment about it. 0.59

02:27:05.000 A mean joke. 0.83

02:27:05.000 A mean joke too. 0.83

02:27:07.000 Okay.

02:27:07.000 Yeah, but hold on.

02:27:08.000 Let me ask you this, though.

02:27:09.000 Do you normally respond to those men if they said something positive or something otherwise?

02:27:12.000 Of course.

02:27:13.000 Okay.

02:27:14.000 You sure?

02:27:15.000 Sometimes they just say what's going to get a reaction from you.

02:27:18.000 So I'm doing this podcast.

02:27:19.000 Hold on.

02:27:19.000 So just to clarify with your example, I just went viral.

02:27:22.000 20,000 people like me.

02:27:24.000 A whole hell of a lot of people hate me.

02:27:26.000 If I went off of those who don't like what I'm trying to do and push, I wouldn't be sitting here with y'all.

02:27:32.000 Right.

02:27:33.000 If the majority of men are telling y'all this is what we want, when you're entering into that room of 100 men, men and doing things that's only going to give you five of those men that still want you, what we're suggesting is you ain't got to give it up completely.

02:27:46.000 Just be mindful that the man you want prefers you.

02:27:50.000 He wants you.

02:27:52.000 And we're the only men in the world that has to go back and forth with all women about what it is that we're attracted to and what we're longing for and wanting to see. 0.93

02:28:02.000 Now, y'all, to be fair, are the only y'all definitely maybe the most clearest and most robust women saying about all the ways in which your men are failing you.

02:28:12.000 There's some truth to that.

02:28:13.000 There's things we need to level up on.

02:28:14.000 There's things we need to improve on.

02:28:16.000 If we as a man start leveling up on the things you're asking us for, those handful of things, we don't ask for much.

02:28:24.000 If the handful of things we're telling you that we want and like and value in our women.

02:28:29.000 Can you all potentially stop valuing social media, trends, city girls, and all these other agendas?

02:28:38.000 They not.

02:28:39.000 But what I'm going to suggest is this, man.

02:28:42.000 I've noticed that working in the field as long as I have, being around as many women as I have, they don't do what they do with me just because. 1.00

02:28:54.000 I have to validate how they're feeling.

02:28:56.000 I got to acknowledge what they need.

02:28:59.000 I have to meet it.

02:29:00.000 I have to do my part.

02:29:02.000 And I have to then hold them to that standard.

02:29:04.000 What happens is a lot of black men are trying to hold women to a standard when the version of what they need to see in us, we're not doing.

02:29:12.000 Right.

02:29:13.000 So my only stance is, ladies, y'all did the test.

02:29:17.000 Y'all heard the comments.

02:29:19.000 Y'all see rent. 1.00

02:29:20.000 Not the ignorant shit like that. 0.99

02:29:21.000 But you get the gist that apparently even the corny men, the shy men, the men that's building and not making six figures yet. 1.00

02:29:31.000 All these variations of men want y'all.

02:29:34.000 Even now.

02:29:35.000 They really do.

02:29:37.000 It would behoove you if you're 30 plus to start to...

02:29:44.000 open your eyes to the men that's invisible to you.

02:29:46.000 Watch this, watch this.

02:29:47.000 Let me show you something.

02:29:48.000 You know what's easier than changing your appearance?

02:29:53.000 Because this common thread is that men from all different cultures are attracted to black women. 0.88

02:30:01.000 Majority of them have the boss to approach black women. 1.00

02:30:04.000 So a lot of times black guys are getting black women by default because we got the heart to talk to you, to approach you, right?

02:30:10.000 So let me give you some game that I would I get to women when they're telling me like their man ain't doing what they want him to do and so on and so forth. 1.00

02:30:17.000 Say, well, like, well, what are you doing?

02:30:18.000 And they say, well, I'm telling them this and I'm telling them this. 0.97

02:30:20.000 Okay, what you're doing is fucking nagging, right? 0.98

02:30:23.000 You're nagging and complaining. 0.98

02:30:24.000 So it's like, how many of y'all have children?

02:30:26.000 How many of y'all have dogs or pets?

02:30:29.000 You'll learn, and these are supposed to be lower intelligent animals, right?

02:30:34.000 Because children, they're not fully developed yet.

02:30:35.000 And animals, of course, we're superior to them in intelligence and intellect, right?

02:30:40.000 The way to get these life forms to do what you want them to do is positive reinforcement.

02:30:46.000 So what happens is, if my woman is going to come to me, right? 1.00

02:30:51.000 And she's going to flirt with me. 0.99

02:30:53.000 Instead of nag me, she's going to be playful with me and say, listen, I'm not giving you no pussy because you ain't take out the trash or because you ain't do this. 1.00

02:31:01.000 And that's why you ain't getting no head head tonight. 0.99

02:31:03.000 Guess who?

02:31:03.000 Right?

02:31:04.000 I'm running to.

02:31:04.000 Right?

02:31:05.000 Guess who answered the question.

02:31:07.000 You see what I'm trying to say?

02:31:08.000 So now what happens is you like, man, I would love for her to have another grievance because she presents it in a way where the reward is already attached to it.

02:31:19.000 So now I'm addicted to your complaints and your grievances because she's feminine. 1.00

02:31:24.000 Exactly, because they're going to come with some, with some stimulation, right?

02:31:29.000 But when you're coming with the complaining and the critic, what we're hearing is no matter what I do, you're going to complain anyway.

02:31:37.000 No matter what you do, it's never going to be good enough.

02:31:41.000 anyway so why am i gonna rush to to to to appease you or satisfy you when there's another that's gonna come around the corner and then also as a man right if i'm a masculine man and i feel like i'm the captain of at least my own ship whether you coming with me or not the moment that i start doing things because you told me to now i can't stomach it now i don't feel right i feel like i'm doing it it's like if somebody if like a dude come to me and he say yo you did this this and this And I know I didn't do that shit. 0.93

02:32:10.000 But he's coming at me in a threatening way. 0.99

02:32:12.000 feel like if I explain myself, I feel like I'm copping a plea.

02:32:15.000 I feel like I'm giving the impression that you tell me what to do.

02:32:18.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:32:19.000 A fear of consequence. 0.95

02:32:20.000 So now my reaction is going to be like, you know what, nigga? 1.00

02:32:23.000 Let's say I did do it. 0.98

02:32:24.000 And what, nigga? 1.00

02:32:25.000 Let's pretend I did fucking do it. 1.00

02:32:27.000 What you going to do? 0.99

02:32:28.000 Now I'd rather that approach now because you ain't about to punk me.

02:32:31.000 You see what I'm trying to say?

02:32:32.000 I think there's a part of y'all brain that...

02:32:35.000 Testosterone.

02:32:37.000 But I'm telling you how to get the reaction.

02:32:40.000 Amigdala? 0.60

02:32:42.000 Amigdala, yes.

02:32:43.000 That's where a couple of women tell y'all what to do. 1.00

02:32:46.000 it's it's not a good look and then it's not going to be good for you either because let's say he was to be submissive if that's what you want to call it or obedient let's say he was your your box is going to d dry up now.

02:32:57.000 Yeah.

02:32:58.000 You see what I'm trying to say?

02:32:59.000 Because you're like, if I'm calling the shots, then I don't even need you.

02:33:01.000 You don't want to be like, you call the shots without me.

02:33:06.000 So listen, this has been a great show.

02:33:08.000 I think the people here, the women here and the men here, have shared ideas back and forth.

02:33:12.000 Thank you, Jeff.

02:33:13.000 Thank you, Allende.

02:33:14.000 Thank you, Dom.

02:33:15.000 And all the lovely ladies here.

02:33:16.000 Guys, go follow them on Instagram, our links are down below.

02:33:19.000 Allende, where can they find you? 0.99

02:33:21.000 Oh, damn, man. 0.99

02:33:22.000 I mean, I guess it's going to be a while, but I still have authentic alphas. 0.99

02:33:25.000 You can go and watch some vintage stuff.

02:33:27.000 It's on YouTube.

02:33:28.000 Classic, bro.

02:33:28.000 Dom, where can they find you?

02:33:30.000 Twitch, Dom Lucre.

02:33:31.000 Same for all social media.

02:33:32.000 Be all the same.

02:33:33.000 Where can they find you?

02:33:34.000 Ask a brother podcast on Instagram, TikTok.

02:33:36.000 grand tick tock and youtube coming up strong guys also last chat and then again uh real quick yeah yeah last chat i got it here um this is from green eyes my channel is for us to stack silver and gold come support my channel and we stack for youtube support y'all honestly guys getting gold silver now is really good because it's smart what's happening in the economy also guys stream tomorrow Jeff, are you going to be here still?

02:34:01.000 I am flying out in the morning.

02:34:02.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:34:03.000 Damn, you can't stay one more day? 1.00

02:34:04.000 Super early. 1.00

02:34:04.000 Listen, man, I got a one-year-old at home. 1.00

02:34:07.000 Congratulations, dang it.

02:34:09.000 Well, the chat loves you.

Fresh & Fit - August 20, 2025

Why Black Men Don't Date Black Women Debate

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript