Full Comment with Anthony Furey: The Transformation of Sex and Love in the Time of COVID
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
188.32674
Summary
If you ve been happily married throughout the pandemic, hopefully you ve just found renewed closeness. But what if you were searching for a significant other during lockdowns? What if going to strip clubs was what you did to relax on weekends? Well, today we re joined by three different guests to break down these issues. We ve got a relationship and sex columnist, a young woman who s going to tell us all about her dating escapades, and the owner of a strip club who s been fighting for his business and his employees. What s it like to break up during the Pandemic, go on dates, and then settle down with a new squeeze?
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Hey everyone, thanks for joining us for the latest installment of Full Comment with Anthony
00:00:06.620
Fury. Throughout the pandemic, there has been great focus on the disruption to businesses,
00:00:11.140
to kids, because of school closures, to mental health issues. Yes, all very important issues,
00:00:15.480
but today we're taking a look at something different. Dating, relationships, love, sex,
00:00:21.620
and more, all during the pandemic. If you've been happily married throughout, hopefully you've just
00:00:26.180
found renewed closeness. But what if you broke up during lockdowns? What if you were searching for
00:00:31.060
that significant other? What if going to strip clubs was what you did to relax on weekends? Well,
00:00:35.940
today we're joined by three different guests to break down these issues. We've got a relationship
00:00:39.820
and sex columnist, a young woman who's going to tell us all about her dating escapades,
00:00:43.700
and the owner of a strip club who has been fighting for his business and his employees.
00:00:50.420
What's it like to break up during the pandemic, go on dates, and then settle down with a new squeeze?
00:00:54.940
We're joined now by Danielle from Toronto, a young woman who has just had that experience
00:00:59.020
during the pandemic. She joins us now to tell us her story. Danielle, thanks for joining us.
00:01:05.260
You know, I was saying earlier, I am in a situation where I've been in a marriage for a number of years,
00:01:09.240
and that's just been the same. And the main logistical challenge for me that has changed is
00:01:12.840
having the small children, you know, at home, not school, that sort of life disruption. You know,
00:01:18.260
it's all relative to different people. There are other people, though, who are in situations where
00:01:22.400
they're in the dating world or in your situation. You had a breakup during the pandemic. Tell us about that.
00:01:28.640
I did. I did. I was seeing someone for about a year and a half. And to be perfectly honest,
00:01:34.680
he wasn't the one. And I think a lot of those underlying issues kind of exacerbated as the
00:01:43.060
pandemic arose. And we broke up in April ish of 2020.
00:01:49.300
Wow, April 2020. So that was first lockdown, pretty tight lockdown. There was still a lot
00:01:53.920
we didn't know about the pandemic, you know, who actually catches it? How bad is it going to be for
00:01:57.600
us and so forth? What were you thinking at that time? You found yourself newly single.
00:02:01.400
Did you go? Well, I'd like to start meeting some people because I'm single right now. Or you thought,
00:02:06.420
nah, I don't know, this virus thing, not too sure. We're going to hold on for a bit.
00:02:10.760
No, I have been surprisingly conservative through the pandemic. I am a very extroverted person. But
00:02:20.920
at the very beginning, you know, partner or not, I had no desire to be out among people. You know,
00:02:27.460
we didn't know what was going on. I was definitely of the camp that was still sanitizing my groceries
00:02:31.980
when they came in the house. So that coupled with, you know, coming out of a year and a half breakup,
00:02:36.980
I took a little bit of breathing room, but also a little bit of, you know, social distance.
00:02:42.800
Right. So eventually, when you jump back into the pool, then the dating pool,
00:02:46.020
what did you do first? Was it was it sort of online dating? You were just chatting with people on the
00:02:50.100
phone? Or you did some zoom meetings and so forth? Tell me how that unfolded.
00:02:53.960
So the first person I dated after the breakup, I think it would have been like June ish was a
00:03:01.660
friend of a friend. We just started kind of talking on Facebook Messenger. I can't remember
00:03:06.700
what the topic of conversation was. But we started talking. And we started hanging out. And suffice it
00:03:12.760
to say that three months later, it did not go well, it did not work out. And then after that,
00:03:18.360
I approached the online dating pool. So when you do first meet a person, I mean, right now,
00:03:24.120
we're, of course, told, you know, don't see anybody who's not in your household or what have
00:03:27.440
you in the stay six feet apart, and so forth. When you jumped into the first date mix, the first
00:03:31.820
in person date situation with people, how did you handle that? Did you say, okay, we're going to do
00:03:36.420
an outdoor walk, we're going to do park bench, I know you're referring to the summer. So places were
00:03:40.460
open, patios and some indoor dining establishments. What was the pandemic calculation you made?
00:03:45.480
I mean, so in my dating experience, it's been a lot of, you know, texting beforehand, you know,
00:03:53.560
obviously being a millennial. But then after kind of breaking through that, and we're like, okay,
00:03:58.240
this person is, you know, not a serial killer, and they're normal. Let's meet up for an outdoor
00:04:03.600
coffee or a walk. And I think this at this time, it was it was very, it started to become clear to me
00:04:12.280
that everyone's thresholds and tolerance for risk were very, very different. You know,
00:04:16.940
we would meet up and some people would say, Oh, you should come over to my house. That's not
00:04:20.580
happening. The first I remember the day the province announced we hit 700, which just feels
00:04:29.000
like halcyon days now. But at the time, 700 was a big number. And I was walking towards meeting
00:04:35.300
someone for a first date. And I was like, I can't back out now. I'm walking to meet him. And at coffee,
00:04:40.180
he, he, you know, took the liberty of putting his hand on my lower back, which was did not go over
00:04:45.660
well, let me tell you. And what was that a thing that you know, in the past, had there been a positive
00:04:51.460
connection going on and reading the cues, you'd be like, Okay, well, that's okay. You know, there's
00:04:54.940
some people who say, Okay, yes, we can't have the kiss or even more on the first date and so forth.
00:05:03.420
I think it's really dependent on each person's relationship. I've learned so much more about
00:05:08.720
consent through COVID, surprisingly, and you know, not just sexual consent. But I think the the
00:05:15.740
pandemic consent or the social distance consent has entered so much more into the conversation.
00:05:20.780
And so you get to put these barriers up a little bit. After that situation, I began to ask, you know,
00:05:28.220
in the initial texting phase of a relationship, you know, what what are your pandemic or what are your
00:05:36.280
what is your risk tolerance like? And actually, the person that I'm with now? And we had a phone
00:05:44.760
call, you know, we had several hour long phone calls before, before meeting in person for the
00:05:50.480
So would you say it was important to you that you guys were on the same page with pandemic
00:05:53.720
rules? You wanted someone who who who took the same sort of level of caution as you did?
00:05:58.240
Absolutely. And even just to the level of like, you know, don't hug me without asking me don't,
00:06:05.960
you know, reach out and touch me don't take your mask off. Until we've we've established that this
00:06:11.320
is okay between us. And, you know, as a woman, I think there is a bad habit that we've developed at
00:06:21.160
at really putting aside our comfort in favor of making other people feel okay. But in in when it
00:06:28.480
came to, you know, I could actually get sick, then I became a lot more stringent about, you know,
00:06:35.880
And would you say just from from being in the dating pool, and then speaking to your friends,
00:06:39.080
whether they were, you know, male or female, or, you know, whoever they were in pursuit of,
00:06:43.320
out there sort of out in the dating pool, would you say that you were more conservative than average
00:06:49.000
that you kind of represent the average? Where would you place your perspective?
00:06:53.560
That is so tough to say, you know, because you're so indicative of your bubble and your group of
00:06:59.340
friends. In my group, I would say I'm about the average. But over the course of the last few months,
00:07:06.200
as I talked to people, I realized I'm definitely more on the conservative end of the spectrum.
00:07:10.300
Just quite surprising. I never considered myself to be that kind of person.
00:07:13.680
I mean, we hear stories for sure that one of the things that the police are doing is breaking up
00:07:17.540
large indoor parties, basically nightclubs that are still going on against the rules,
00:07:22.060
these sort of underground clubs and so forth. So I imagine also in the dating world,
00:07:25.460
there's people who are totally throwing caution to the wind and doing, you know,
00:07:28.620
whatever is advised against during the first date. I mean, what sort of stuff are you kind of seeing
00:07:33.740
and hearing out there from, you know, what other people are doing?
00:07:37.800
I mean, from one end of the spectrum, this is awful. I got a message from someone
00:07:43.540
recently inviting me for group sex, which first of all is sexual harassment, by the way.
00:07:50.040
But second of all, who is having group sex in a pandemic? Who is having multiple partners
00:07:56.000
in a pandemic? Because this is, yeah, I can't even wrap my head around that one on multiple levels.
00:08:02.700
I guess from the reports of various nightclub gatherings and so forth. I mean,
00:08:08.000
yeah, the large gatherings are happening a lot out there, which is the focus of some of
00:08:12.140
what the police are doing and so forth. Danielle, when you eventually did settle down with the
00:08:17.020
person, tell me how that experience went. I take it all of those steps that you wanted to follow
00:08:21.640
that this person was on the same page for. Yeah, exactly. I mean, right off the bat,
00:08:27.420
there were a large number of people who I matched with online who had no interest in connecting over
00:08:32.980
the phone or a Zoom date for the first time. Like they just were like, nope, not interested.
00:08:37.340
And that's fine. You know, clearly we put that out of the way.
00:08:40.860
They wanted to meet in the park for coffee right away or at the patio for beer kind of thing.
00:08:45.600
Exactly, exactly. I remember when patios first opened, I was getting all sorts of invitations.
00:08:51.280
Let's go for a beer. Let's grab a coffee. I'm like, the patio is just open. There is a long list of
00:08:56.560
people who I want to see before I meet a stranger. You know, I've got my best friends I haven't seen
00:09:01.920
in months. I'm not breaking my quarantine for you, some random from the internet. But my current
00:09:08.220
partner, we, you know, as I said, our first date was a phone call, not even a video date for a few
00:09:13.680
hours. Eventually, I think after like three, we ended up meeting on the last warm day of the year.
00:09:21.380
I don't know if you remember back in November, we had that like 18 degree day. Yeah.
00:09:25.160
And we had planned to meet up in the park, grab some beers from a local brewery and meet up in
00:09:31.600
the park. And that was great. You know, he brought a whole picnic set. He brought little individual
00:09:37.620
baggies of chips so that we didn't have to share. And I just felt so cared for. It was so considerate.
00:09:46.860
And that really was indicative of who he is as a person as well.
00:09:50.760
Did you feel it was a big deal when you guys ultimately decided, okay, we're going to have the
00:09:55.280
the indoor date, someone's going to come over to someone's house for dinner or what have you. And if
00:09:59.400
you're referring to end of November, I take it, all the places were already shut down pretty much
00:10:02.940
by that point, or someone's going to come over to watch a movie or whatever that was. Was that like a
00:10:06.880
was that like a big leap? I mean, it seems like almost with pandemic rules, that's comparable to,
00:10:10.460
you know, moving in with a person or something.
00:10:13.060
Yeah, definitely. It's a big, it's a big step, right? And a step that didn't exist before is am I going to let
00:10:19.160
this person into my bubble? I mean, I live alone, I've been working from home, I'm very isolated.
00:10:25.420
So I have the luxury of being able to say, you know, if I am in contact with this person,
00:10:30.440
I can still isolate two weeks and not see anyone else. My family still lives in Vancouver. So it's
00:10:35.720
not even like I'm seeing my family. Our second in person date, we actually ended up going to
00:10:41.780
the zoo, there was a some light show thing going on. But the logistics there were do I Uber
00:10:47.080
there and meet him? Or does he pick me up? You know, we're sitting in a car together
00:10:51.340
for like half an hour ish. And that was the risk that we and that was really the hurdle, right?
00:10:57.540
The you know, am I going to get into a car with this person because it's cold out? You know,
00:11:03.740
two days later, it was snowing with all the windows closed. So we're breathing the same air. And this
00:11:09.260
was all stuff that was going through my mind at the time.
00:11:12.260
But you did it, you didn't take the Uber, you took the drive with him.
00:11:14.700
Exactly. Yeah, he picked me up and it was an outdoor date. So even though we were in the car,
00:11:21.240
we had that outdoor. And then after that, our relationship progressed at a much quicker pace,
00:11:25.320
because we have gotten through that physical hurdle.
00:11:29.120
So it looks like that was the right decision taking the car trip up then all turned out well.
00:11:33.920
I think it would have turned out well, even if I had taken the Uber, to be honest, but
00:11:39.660
Danielle, thanks so much for joining us to tell us your story.
00:11:45.960
Your local small business has been taking the hits this past year and a half. And that includes
00:11:49.840
not just clothing boutiques and restaurants, but strip clubs. They're small businesses too,
00:11:54.480
and their employees pay their taxes. And while they have bills to pay as well,
00:11:58.700
Rob Marciano knows this all too well as the manager of Club Pro, a strip club in Vaughn,
00:12:03.420
in the greater Toronto area, that's been doing all it can to stay afloat the past year and a half.
00:12:07.860
Rob joins us now. Hey, Rob, thanks for stopping by.
00:12:12.560
It's going well, thanks. How's it going with you? Because right now, strip clubs remain closed in
00:12:17.600
Ontario. They have been for, well, tell me, for how long?
00:12:26.320
And, you know, we've been trying to make it work in any way possible.
00:12:35.780
Pretty much. Like, we were able to open up our patios in June of 2020. And then towards the end of the summer,
00:12:46.380
there was the announcement from the province that they were closing all adult entertainment establishments.
00:12:53.900
And since then, we've been trying to operate as a restaurant and bar.
00:12:58.060
And, you know, we actually ended up doing something crazy. We opened up a driving range in our parking lot.
00:13:06.580
A driving range. So you have things set up there so people can hit some balls.
00:13:14.100
They're nets and, you know, real good quality turf.
00:13:18.320
I'm a golfer myself. So I like to, you know, we tried to create a place that would be something that I wouldn't mind going to hit balls at.
00:13:29.680
Is it, you know, in the mood and theme of a strip club? Like, do some of the dancers work there as the staff at the range?
00:13:36.460
Well, we're planning on doing something with our caddies.
00:13:41.040
And, you know, we're trying to help out our dancers and entertainers and bar and waitstaff and kitchen.
00:13:48.000
And we're trying to bring them back in any way, shape or form that we can.
00:13:52.560
What's been the response from your regular customers and clientele?
00:13:55.160
I mean, you guys are being shut down for quite some time now, getting on to a year and a half.
00:14:00.200
I mean, do you hear from people who say, I want to go back?
00:14:02.800
Or are there people who go, yes, we think strip clubs should be shut for pretty much longer than any other establishment?
00:14:07.680
So we have our core group of regulars who keep the lights on.
00:14:13.000
They really allowed for us to hold on to a lot of our staff while we were operating as a restaurant and bar.
00:14:20.340
I know a lot of our competitors in the Greater Toronto Area just didn't see the point of trying to make it like that.
00:14:27.620
But we have a very loyal following and, you know, they're kind of willing to support us in any way.
00:14:39.160
So, Rob, what's your perspective on what the rules around strip clubs in Ontario and Canada in general during COVID should be right now?
00:14:45.520
Because if you're talking about, you know, staying six feet apart and so forth, I mean, I understand the dancers, they do make a lot of their money giving dances and close contact and so forth.
00:14:54.640
So I know some public health officials say, uh-uh, we just can't do that at all.
00:15:00.160
I mean, you know, the science says that that's the way that we should operate.
00:15:12.600
But what I didn't like what the province did was that, you know, there were some comments made by the mayor of Toronto saying that he believes that all strip clubs and adult entertainment venues should be closed.
00:15:24.680
And, you know, 24 hours later, the province kind of laid the hammer down.
00:15:34.140
Like, there wasn't any opportunity for us to course correct, you know, implement any kind of new protocols.
00:15:43.480
I understand that they were worried about the contact tracing with people coming in and giving false names, false phone numbers.
00:15:51.540
But from the start, we had a policy in place saying, you know, we want your government-issued ID when you can come in.
00:15:59.120
Uh, so we, we knew who was coming in was who they said, said they were, but, you know, the, the province didn't really give us an opportunity to, to implement those, those protocols that would have solved their, their issues.
00:16:14.780
So you feel that you could have been responsibly reopened at the same time restaurants and, you know, clothing stores, malls and other indoor facilities were reopened.
00:16:22.120
Absolutely. And I mean, the lap dances are an issue, of course, that's fine.
00:16:27.980
But what about the stage shows? Uh, you know, they're more than six feet apart.
00:16:32.240
Uh, we wouldn't, we would have had to upgrade our, our sanitizing processes, but, uh, I didn't see an issue with that.
00:16:41.540
Like if a guy wanted to come in and, and see a lovely lady on stage, like why would, wouldn't he be able to?
00:16:49.060
And Rob, how have your employees, your wait staff, the dancers, how have they been responding to the pandemic?
00:16:53.460
I guess they're eligible, of course, for the government support and so forth, but, uh, are they, are they eager to get back to work?
00:16:59.020
Or if people just said, Oh, forget it. You know, I'm out of this sector. I'm, you know, I'm done with it.
00:17:02.900
I mean, what's the general, uh, general feeling right now?
00:17:06.020
Well, we have a lot of loyal staff that have been with us for, you know, 10, 15, 20 years, um, bartenders, kitchen, kitchen staff managers.
00:17:17.680
Um, so they're, they're going to be coming back, but it's hard for them, especially the people who have mortgages, kids, right?
00:17:27.620
Trying to survive off of serve alone is, is nearly impossible.
00:17:31.220
And like, we've been trying to do everything in our power to bring them back, uh, whether it was from our patio.
00:17:39.260
Then we opened up a, uh, a virtual restaurant that we tried to keep our kitchen staff, uh, employed.
00:17:47.180
Um, but then it just got to the point where we weren't able to, to pay everybody.
00:17:52.680
And then we had to shut down the, the virtual restaurant as well.
00:17:57.320
And then that's when our team decided, you know what, golf probably won't be closed anytime soon.
00:18:07.760
And as sure enough, like, uh, our, our driving range in the parking lot, that was our proverbial, uh, middle finger.
00:18:17.680
And then they, uh, then they made going outside illegal.
00:18:22.340
Rob, do you think that when the rules say strip clubs can reopen, do you think that the customers
00:18:27.200
Because I imagine there are some people who say, I want them reopened right now, but there
00:18:30.040
are other people, uh, who may be frequented strip clubs who go, I don't know.
00:18:33.380
I don't feel good about, you know, the dancing, having the private dances right now and so forth.
00:18:37.340
So I'm still going to hold back for, you know, a number of months or what have you.
00:18:40.460
Uh, you know, we are going to lose some, some customers.
00:18:45.380
Like we can definitely see that, um, whether it's people who have vulnerable family members,
00:18:52.320
you know, they don't want to have that on their conscience coming here, potentially contracting
00:18:58.880
something and then, and then bringing it back to family members.
00:19:02.440
Um, but at the same time, like we are going to gain some people who are just starving for
00:19:09.240
Uh, and you know what, it's, it's, it's a time that we need to innovate.
00:19:13.760
We need to get creative and, um, put out a, put out a better product, put out a better
00:19:23.480
Rob, I know the number of strip clubs in the greater Toronto area, and I imagine this is
00:19:27.020
the same all across Canada and other, uh, major urban centers.
00:19:30.320
The number has decreased in recent years, in recent decades, it's just not the same industry
00:19:35.820
What do you think the pandemic has meant for your sector moving forward?
00:19:40.260
Uh, well, there, this is going to accelerate the closure of a lot of these, you know, already
00:19:50.340
Uh, we were very fortunate that the place was run correctly.
00:19:56.860
Um, you know, we weren't, we weren't reliant on, you know, coming back full tilt as soon
00:20:05.540
Like we can kind of get back to the drawing board and then aim correctly and fire.
00:20:13.340
Rob Marciano, you're the manager of club pro in Vaughn in the greater Toronto area.
00:20:20.260
Today's episode is a racy one, relationships, dating, and sex during the pandemic, during
00:20:27.300
Our guest today, thankfully has all the insights, all the answers on these issues.
00:20:30.860
Simone Padgett is a syndicated columnist with Post Media who covers every aspect of this
00:20:43.040
Obviously most other countries in the world do as well.
00:20:45.120
And at that time, I'm sure there were many people who were, uh, casually dating a couple
00:20:50.060
people planning, Hey, let's go out for dinner the next week and so forth.
00:20:54.900
They were ready to get out and, uh, and live the single life or to perhaps meet their life
00:21:04.200
I mean, what, what, what was, what was the sense of people who were dating when that first
00:21:09.320
Um, like from what I've heard from friends, like I, well, I'll tell you a bit, like what
00:21:15.400
I actually like right before the pandemic, um, I went on a sex themed cruise as a press
00:21:27.440
Um, it was, um, the temptation cruise and it's a topless optional cruise.
00:21:34.440
Um, it's, you know, there's sex workshops, there's like a playroom where couples can go
00:21:41.460
in and have like, have sex in a sort of semi-public space.
00:21:45.440
Like it was a very like, you know, different environment, um, within like, I got back from
00:21:51.940
that, um, I guess at the end of February and I actually got really sick.
00:22:01.420
I didn't, um, so I was kind of like sick for, um, a couple of weeks there.
00:22:09.680
So, uh, I didn't, I kind of went from like, like crazy observing, like these crazy sort
00:22:16.140
of like sexual, like adventures to like full on lockdown.
00:22:20.480
Um, so I wasn't really dating anyone at the time and I kind of went into hibernation until
00:22:26.380
Um, I think like everyone's had different experiences.
00:22:29.940
I know, um, a lot of single friends who have continued to date and talk to people throughout
00:22:38.520
Um, I think at, from what I've heard, um, a lot of people are having more, um, they're
00:22:50.000
They're getting to know people more before they actually meet up, um, which I don't think
00:22:56.220
is a bad thing, especially given like what we've talked about with like Me Too and, um,
00:23:02.900
actually giving like the chance for you to like suss out a person, get to know them like
00:23:07.860
over FaceTime or like Zoom dates, um, and see if you actually, you know, connect with
00:23:16.800
Um, I also know that could be a good thing moving forward, like to keep that post pandemic.
00:23:24.360
And, um, I wrote about recently in one of my columns that, um, the majority of, uh, I
00:23:31.120
believe it was Hinge, the dating site Hinge, um, are actually going to keep doing video dates
00:23:38.080
even after it's like safe to go out and meet in person.
00:23:42.580
Um, because there's a couple of reasons, like it does give you that sort of like, just
00:23:47.460
sort of initial like vibe check to see like, if you, do you want to go out in a public place
00:23:54.080
Um, do you have anything to like, is there any kind of spark there?
00:24:00.340
Um, and also like, it's, it's less of a risk for health reasons, but also like it's cheaper.
00:24:08.000
Like you could have a glass of wine at home and talk to someone on your computer or your
00:24:13.020
Um, isn't that so unromantic though to say, you know, bring your own bottle of wine and
00:24:20.740
It isn't, it isn't like people are actually saying because they're in their homes and
00:24:26.540
relaxed, they're actually having better conversations.
00:24:29.140
Um, and I have done a little bit of like video dating, like in the summer, um, last summer
00:24:34.820
I got quite into doing like zoom dating and zoom speed dating.
00:24:38.840
And I did make a connection with someone and we kind of had this, like, we, we actually
00:24:43.200
never ended up meeting up, but we had this sort of like two month long phone and like
00:24:50.300
Um, and it actually was kind of, it was a kind of a nice throwback to the days, like
00:24:56.540
of being, I don't know if you remember like being like a teenager or like in your early
00:25:00.680
twenties and having these like long phone conversations with like the person you were dating or like
00:25:06.660
the person you had a crush on and you kind of end up talking more and it was really kind
00:25:14.100
Um, so I think that is happening, but also people are going out to meet people, um, in
00:25:21.140
public, um, they're doing like socially distant, you know, going for a walk or like a date to
00:25:28.540
like the dog park, um, and you know, or maybe going to like an outdoor dining experience, like
00:25:37.220
depending on how safe they feel, um, which is nice too.
00:25:41.240
But I think, um, what's interesting is like how this ties into me too, is people are seem
00:25:47.300
to be more comfortable now having the conversations about like, Hey, so we're meeting up.
00:25:54.160
Are we going to, you know, how are we going to like conversation?
00:25:59.920
And I think that's like kind of like a positive thing is like, maybe if the me too movement
00:26:04.400
hadn't happened, we wouldn't be able to have these, like, it would be a bit more difficult.
00:26:09.100
I mean, it's already a bit awkward, like to say, you know, ask the person ahead of time,
00:26:13.900
but when you put like health on the table, um, then, you know, it makes it.
00:26:19.940
You can say on the first date, you know, are you going to wear a mask?
00:26:22.220
But on the first date, it's a bit presumptuous to say who's bringing the condom.
00:26:28.300
But, um, and everyone should always bring the condoms.
00:26:34.680
Um, someone, let me ask you about, about sort of volume of people in the dating pool.
00:26:40.100
Like I I'm sure back, you know, March, 2020, everyone was like, Oh, stay home.
00:26:44.860
And of course for two weeks or three weeks or whatnot, there was just the general fear about,
00:26:49.220
But at a certain point people said, okay, you know, got to put my toe in the water again.
00:26:52.900
What, what was, what, what's your impression of what that was like?
00:26:56.660
I mean, was there a greater volume of people suddenly doing online dating?
00:27:02.920
I mean, are there people who are just like, look, yes, I'm, I'm single.
00:27:09.520
What, what was, what was the general do I, or do I not response?
00:27:14.140
Um, so, I mean, it's, it's different for everyone.
00:27:16.840
Um, the stats that I've seen that have been sent to me show that dating like on apps and
00:27:23.600
stuff, like the volume has remained the same in some cases has actually gone up because
00:27:29.420
people are like at home, bored, looking to connect with people, looking to connect with
00:27:40.220
Um, as far as like people actually meeting up in person, like, I don't know, I haven't
00:27:45.640
seen any statistics about how many people are actually going from the apps to meeting in
00:27:52.520
person, um, myself, like I kind of have taken a step back and completely removed myself
00:28:02.680
And, um, just because like, I live with someone who is like in like a high risk category.
00:28:10.240
So for me, it just doesn't seem like for me, it just wasn't worth it.
00:28:14.340
So there's a lot to factor in, not just in terms of your own dating life, but then to your
00:28:18.380
point, how it's affecting others going about and meeting other people.
00:28:22.480
And I'm like, is it worth like me going on some date with some person I don't even know
00:28:32.600
Um, but I think now to like the people like me who've kind of taken a step back now that
00:28:41.320
Um, there is going to be those people who kind of hibernated are going to have like a return
00:28:49.580
Um, and that, that will be interesting, but like it hasn't slowed down at all.
00:28:57.740
It's just like, I don't know what's happening like on the ground, like with people actually
00:29:01.880
I can only say like, I know some friends have been going on these kinds of socially distant
00:29:07.540
Um, well, you gotta think, you know, there's the hyper cautious people, but there are people
00:29:14.360
And I know there's not a lot of stats out about, you know, people doing stuff when they
00:29:19.000
really shouldn't be, but I can tell you, you go and search on all these different online
00:29:22.840
Kijiji places and I'm not looking to rat anyone out or get anyone charged here, but if you
00:29:27.540
want someone to come over to your house to, to give you a haircut or for instance, you
00:29:30.740
can find that there's a whole underground economy going on, uh, all across Canada right
00:29:37.000
I've got to think there's similar things going on with the hanky panky.
00:29:42.280
Like, um, and it's kind of interesting cause it is also like coming out as like people
00:29:51.580
Um, there's like, this is not related to like what I write about necessarily, but there is
00:29:56.260
like a popular Instagram account called, um, gaze over COVID and it's basically, um, it
00:30:02.540
was sort of spawned by like that accident that happened in Puerto Vallarta where there was
00:30:06.700
like a party boat, um, full of guys, um, that ended up sinking and it kind of brought
00:30:12.180
up this like idea that there's still people out there, um, of all different sexual orientations,
00:30:17.460
having like sex parties and, um, partying and like hooking up.
00:30:24.060
And there's always going to be people who are like, are much more comfortable with risk.
00:30:27.480
And I guess the question is how does one move forward?
00:30:29.320
Because when, when lockdown restrictions are over and when the pandemic is more or less
00:30:33.420
behind us, I mean, there, there's going to be sort of lingering cautiousness among many
00:30:38.460
I don't know what the percentage is, a sizable percentage of the population.
00:30:41.240
And then there's going to be those others who've always thrown caution to the wind anyway.
00:30:44.820
And you're all going to be on the same dating apps or having the same potential to meet each
00:30:50.760
And it'll be curious, uh, to see how those sort of social cues are navigated.
00:30:54.980
Um, yeah, and I've noticed, um, this is like more information that was sent to me from dating
00:31:01.880
apps was, um, a lot of people are listing their like vaccination status in their profile
00:31:10.420
Um, I think that should be like a mandatory tick box on the dating thing.
00:31:15.140
Like, you know, you know, say vaccinated or not click kind of thing.
00:31:18.400
Um, I don't, I don't know, because like, I think it's dangerous to do that because there
00:31:25.800
are some people who can't get vaccinated for like other extenuating health circumstances.
00:31:31.960
And I think you don't want to create this like sort of two tier, um, system where people
00:31:40.000
who aren't able to get vaccinated either due to access or because of a health issue are like
00:31:46.780
Um, but I do think it means like, you have to have that conversation with the people you're
00:31:52.680
Like, I want to know if I go out with someone like, Hey, are you vaccinated or how do you
00:32:02.780
Like what, how have you behaved during the pandemic?
00:32:06.420
Like, I want to know, like, are they, have they been kind of, you know, like most people
00:32:11.440
kind of laying low or are they the kind of person who's like going and doing stuff that
00:32:18.500
Simone Padgett, this has been such a fantastic conversation.
00:32:21.480
Thank you so much for joining us for your syndicated calmness with Postmedia covering
00:32:24.540
everything to the relationships, dating and sex.
00:32:33.480
This episode was produced by Andre Prude with theme music by Bryce Hall.
00:32:39.200
You can subscribe to Full Comment on Apple Podcasts, Google, Spotify, or wherever you get your
00:32:44.360
You can help us by giving us a rating or a review and by telling your friends about us.