00:00:52.000And the message that it's sending to young women could not be more different.
00:00:55.140One worldview says become yourself. The other worldview says give yourself. So today we're
00:01:00.580going to talk about where both of these women find their purpose and what their reported outcome and
00:01:05.460feelings and fulfillment towards themselves and the world around them really is. Let's start with
00:01:09.860Emily Ratajkowski. If you don't know who she is, you've probably seen her before, actually. I've
00:01:14.860got a picture of her on screen. She's a supermodel. Clearly makes sense. She's beautiful, gorgeous,1.00
00:01:21.080stunning like so symmetrical her hair her face her body uh body t that's what the young people
00:01:27.320are saying she's got 28 million followers on instagram actually she's an actress she played
00:01:33.120in gone girl also an author she wrote a book titled my body a few years ago which is like
00:01:39.000this collection of essays about the modeling industry and consent and objectification and
00:01:45.000feminism and how her body had been both her power and something that over the years others tried to
00:01:51.060and as she describes it, have successfully owned. One more thing about her that I learned in0.99
00:01:56.340researching her for this episode was that she's a spokesperson for Planned Parenthood, which makes
00:02:02.160her reported experience of motherhood and feelings towards being a mom that we're going to break down
00:02:08.280a little less surprising. She is a self-described, a self-identified feminist. I would argue most
00:02:15.380importantly, even if maybe she doesn't agree, most importantly, she is a mom to, I believe,
00:02:21.400a now five-year-old boy. I saw this article, at least the headline, the cover photo of this
00:02:27.860article pop up on my Instagram over the weekend. We've got the photo on screen, which feels a
00:02:35.660little explicit to show. I don't know how we're going to have to edit this to make sure this is
00:02:40.160even able to stay up on YouTube. Uh, you see Emily Ratajkowski again, beautiful, um, very large
00:02:48.200breast, right? Uh, you see her posing here with an open shirt. Uh, she's got a baby. I thought1.00
00:02:54.860this was a real baby at first, uh, debunked. This is a baby doll. So a fake baby, the setting looks
00:03:01.560like a New York city apartment. She lives in New York city. I found out from this article.
00:03:04.760if you're looking on screen, you can see that she's holding the baby, obviously emulating
00:03:10.180nursing. So she has this fake baby doll that looks like a real baby sucking on her breasts.0.99
00:03:17.580There are also photos, look, we're scrolling through here. So on one hand, she's nursing0.99
00:03:22.540her baby. The other hand, she has, it looks like alcohol. And based on the article, I think this0.99
00:03:29.100is a gin martini. So over the weekend, this photo pops up on my Instagram. It was the first thing I
00:03:33.400saw before knowing anything about the article or the crux of the article. Um, I see this photo
00:03:37.900and the first thing that pops into my mind is I don't like this. This is uncomfortable. Um,
00:03:44.760I'm looking at these pictures, trying to understand again, what's going on here at the
00:03:48.560time, thinking this was a real baby. This photo is genuinely disturbing, right? Like this is a
00:03:54.060very clear and desperate cry for attention. At least that's how I see it. Um, I see a woman who
00:04:00.420has completely lost sense of taste and class and has crossed into the realm of pure ridiculousness.1.00
00:04:09.020And I know some people will say like, you know, Riley, this is art. We're just showcasing the
00:04:13.500dichotomy that can exist with moms. On one hand, you can be an attentive mother and be there for1.00
00:04:18.780your child. On the other hand, you can prioritize yourself and go out and have fun and drink alcohol.
00:04:23.440I don't really see this as art. Maybe the message that's trying to be sent here is a good one,
00:04:29.600but I believe this image actually totally distracts from that message. I think the issue
00:04:35.080here is turning this into like a sensual photo shoot while a baby, a fake baby, albeit he's0.99
00:04:40.740attached to your breasts. I just feel very strongly now, especially after having a child,0.90
00:04:44.900especially a little baby girl that there should never, ever, ever be a setting where a child is
00:04:49.980placed in a context that's meant to be sexy or provocative. Right. And I think society actually
00:04:55.580agrees with that. Most people aren't okay with that. It crosses a line for many people,
00:05:00.120certainly myself included. And honestly, Emily Ratajkowski's platform is a little bit ironic
00:05:05.020because I mentioned her book, My Body. In it, I was reading some online. She's very clear on her
00:05:11.280stance on the objectification of women. Yet this is a woman who has done a lot of highly sexualized1.00
00:05:19.000work. She's in various shoots for Sports Illustrated. Actually, one of the things that1.00
00:05:22.920actually probably the thing that made her as famous as she is now was being cast and starring
00:05:28.640in robin thick's music video for blurred lines uh that music video made her famous for showing her
00:05:34.680breasts for many minutes across the screen and now she's taken upon herself to explain how showing
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00:05:52.720hot takes i want knee-jerk reactions that's not really what i do is that because you don't have
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00:06:05.760ontario only if you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone
00:06:09.140close to you please go to conixontario.ca can in fact lead to being exploited and objectified
00:06:15.340thanks to what she calls the cis hetero patriarchal construct that we live in i don't know it feels1.00
00:06:21.280very Meghan Markle of her. Anyways, she was married to Sebastian Bear McClard. They were
00:06:25.820married for four years. I think he's like a movie producer. They were married for about four years
00:06:30.240before divorcing, but the article actually says they stopped having sex about six months postpartum,
00:06:36.100post-birth. She says, actually, that is the piece that led to their separation and their divorce,
00:06:41.080which was finalized in 2025. The piece that she wrote was titled Mother Effer, which actually in
00:06:47.320the literal sense kind of makes sense based on what she's describing. She describes embarking
00:06:52.100on this period of compulsive dating, following her separation, saying that she's just trying
00:06:57.860to figure out what kind of woman that she wanted to become. So ironically, this self-described
00:07:03.440feminist needed men to tell her what kind of women she can and should be. Just to go through1.00
00:07:08.340some of the articles, she talks about the birth experience that she had with her five-year-old
00:07:12.100son. Uh, and she describes it as pretty horrific. Uh, she says it was four hours of pushing severe
00:07:18.380tearing. She actually describes how, uh, in pretty graphic detail, by the way, I'm just summarizing
00:07:23.060here. Uh, she describes how the muscle between her anus and her vagina like ripped. Um, she said1.00
00:07:30.780that her baby had matching scabs on his head from being tugged out similar to the scabs that she had
00:07:37.220on her downstairs region. She says verbatim, it was a violent transition into a new reality
00:07:44.160of a screaming baby on her aching tit. I don't want to discount or discredit any woman's birth
00:07:48.780experience or birth story because labor in its literal sense, by the way, is traumatic. Like
00:07:53.680it's a traumatic thing for your body to go through. Nothing is where it's supposed to be.
00:07:57.720Your organs have shifted, especially women who go through a C-section. I mean, you're physically
00:08:01.960being cut open, like sliced in half, if you will. So is it uncomfortable in like 99% of experiences?
00:08:13.340Yes. Does it come with pain? Yes. Does it come with trauma? Certainly. But if you talk to most
00:08:18.220moms about their labor and delivery, you know, maybe they'll recount the pain, but it will almost
00:08:23.680pretty immediately be followed with, but I would do it 10,000 times over because it gave me this
00:08:28.400beautiful little child that I'm now holding in my hands. That doesn't seem to be how Emily
00:08:32.200Ratajkowski viewed it. I talk about it all the time. And this is just really another example
00:08:35.880of this. But the messaging that young women are fed all the time online and on social media about
00:08:41.980pregnancy and delivery and postpartum and having a baby that turns into a toddler,
00:08:47.360the toddler tantrums and the newborn trenches, and you're never going to sleep again.
00:08:50.680And your life changes dramatically. You're never going to be able to go out and have fun or late
00:08:54.780now with your friends. Your relationship with your husband is going to change. Motherhood is
00:08:58.660just filled with sacrifices. Look, I'm not here to say that some of those things, or in some cases,
00:09:05.200maybe all of those things are true. But what that's not followed with, the message that young
00:09:09.520women aren't receiving, is the purpose that you find in being a mom. How I believe it's the highest
00:09:16.120calling for women. How beautiful and unique and intentional God's design for us as women is to be
00:09:21.160able to grow a child and to push a baby out of our body, how our body changes and adapts
00:09:27.160specifically so we can do these things, how we're able to then nurture our baby. Our body contains
00:09:32.820everything we could possibly need to literally grow a human being. It's so cool. I don't think
00:09:37.440it's a bad thing necessarily that she talks about her pretty horrendous birthing experience because
00:09:41.540I think it's a good thing for women to know that, but it's also important to know that that's not
00:09:46.900the case for everyone. I've talked about it. I had a fantastic, positive, lovely birthing experience.
00:09:53.280It is the closest I have ever felt to God, to heaven. It felt ethereal. I loved it so much so
00:09:57.860that I'm ready to do it again immediately. Whenever is my time to get pregnant, I am ready,
00:10:03.440God willing. But as I said, she goes on to then start compulsively dating to figure out what kind1.00
00:10:08.640of woman that she wants to be. She says that she'd only slept with eight people prior to motherhood.1.00
00:10:14.000she had always avoided one night stands because she wanted to stay precious. She wanted to
00:10:18.540maintain this good girl persona. But now, word for word, she decided to F her way into a new
00:10:25.800kind of woman. This is a quote from the article. She says, I wanted to destroy the Madonna,
00:10:30.880the special girl I'd worked so hard to be before an eight pound baby had torn my vagina in two1.00
00:10:35.180and replaced her with the whore. She writes about some of the dates that she went on,1.00
00:10:42.720which range from weird, I think at best, to absolutely degrading and demeaning. She talks
00:10:49.820about a DJ that she was with who was into incest pornography. She mentions an older guy in the
00:10:56.380piece, a guy she refers to as elder millennial who got off on degrading her, calling her names1.00
00:11:01.920like streetwalker and dirty whore during sex and slapping her around. Yet she consistently went1.00
00:11:07.080back because she wanted to be the praying mantis. She felt like she had power over him. Although
00:11:13.400again, he's the one slapping her around, which that alone, I think sends a pretty horrific
00:11:18.860message to women. She would talk about how she would end these relationship with these men when1.00
00:11:23.260they say they love her. And so her big takeaway was the more that she seemed not to need a man,
00:11:31.300the more that those men desperately needed her. And so it spends the majority of the article
00:11:36.700talking about her dating life and the purpose that she found in that and being this dominatrix
00:11:44.120all while being slapped around in bed. But the very end of the article, I'm talking like it
00:11:49.280spends a pretty short paragraph on this. She talks about how she's proud ultimately that she left
00:11:56.260her husband. She talks about initially struggling with feelings of rejection and being alone and
00:12:01.800being seen as the single mother. She says, I wasn't the one that was left. I actually left.
00:12:08.400I'm assuming talking about her marriage, that being able to leave to say no was the real
00:12:13.320superpower that I'd gained through divorce. And so her core reflection that you only really get
00:12:17.940once you get to the very bottom of the article was that leaving her marriage was the very brave
00:12:23.380thing to do. Single motherhood is not ruinous. She rejects, you know, the pitying looks that
00:12:28.900single moms get or the divorce single mom label. I think the main point she wanted to make in this
00:12:33.480article was that purpose for a woman or for a mom comes through sexual self-reclamation,0.68
00:12:39.940and proving that you need nothing from men, all while still attracting, desperately attracting
00:12:47.140that attention. One more quote in the article. She said, what I wanted was his attention. I wanted to
00:12:51.760feel a man's desire and to be reminded that I was a sexual being, not just a mother of a toddler.0.97
00:12:56.660She goes on to say having a child with the wrong man was the fastest way to ruin your life as a woman.
00:13:01.300It meant having no freedom, no choices, no emergency exit, all baggage and no security, which this breaks my heart to read because you have to imagine that her son maybe will one day grow up and read this.
00:13:14.540I don't want to shame Emily Ratajkowski, although I do believe that as a society, we should bring back a level of shame.
00:13:21.840first and foremost, is that this was absolutely and totally out of touch with reality and with
00:13:28.300real people. Clearly, she is a super model. She can afford daycare or a nanny. She has, I guess,0.99
00:13:35.820access to endless amount of guys, affluent men, by the way, in her sleeping around era,1.00
00:13:42.940whereas most single moms don't really have that. They can't just go to the bar in New York City1.00
00:13:47.240and pick up a really rich man to then take back to his apartment and sleep with. A lot of women1.00
00:13:51.460online saw this as insulting to single moms who are truly struggling every day to survive. They1.00
00:13:57.340didn't really feel like they could relate with her single mother experience. But beyond some of the
00:14:01.160backlash for the cover photo, the photos that we showed on the show, and kind of like the out-of-touch
00:14:06.580celebrity privilege narrative that doesn't represent typical single mom realities, there
00:14:12.500was a lot of praise for Emily Ratajkowski. I'm sure you're shocked, right? The internet praises
00:14:17.300self-identified feminist who's attempting to find herself by sleeping with a bunch of men while her
00:14:22.820child's at home with the nanny sleeping in the crib right shocker but i shared this with you
00:14:26.340though because i wanted to explicitly highlight the hypocrisy and the difference in response that
00:14:30.980we see from a story like this you know the response from people online and social media
00:14:35.540comments from media outlets from societal institutions versus a woman like hannah
00:14:42.420Nealman or Ballerina Farm, who is a mom of nine and a CEO of a company. First and foremost, who1.00
00:14:48.360is Ballerina Farm? Like I said, her name is Hannah Nealman. She's also objectively beautiful. I've
00:14:54.640got a picture of her and her husband on screen. And you can just tell by the photo, they look
00:14:59.180happy. They look content. She's 35 years old. Her husband is Daniel, the guy in the photo.
00:15:04.720Important to mention that he was independently very wealthy, or at least his family is very
00:15:10.540wealthy. He's the son of JetBlue founder. She trained as a ballerina at Juilliard. It's actually
00:15:15.400where she met her husband. They got married. They're Mormon. They have nine children together.
00:15:21.300I think the ninth was born this past March. To have nine children by 35 is pretty impressive.
00:15:27.480I mean, just from like a biological standpoint, they live in Utah on a 300 plus acre ranch.
00:15:33.660Her and her husband are also co-CEOs of Ballerina Farm. That's their brand. She homeschools in like
00:15:39.060a barn schoolhouse. She posts a lot of her content and lifestyle online. It's very beautiful. It's
00:15:44.620very curated. It's very aesthetic. Uh, she has like these glowing videos of homemade meals and
00:15:50.560her kids playing in the yard and dirt in their feet and all of her animals and that, that0.98
00:15:55.780beautiful AGA stove. Let's actually watch one of her videos. On June 26th, summer belongs to the
00:16:01.820super. Your powers are going to start kicking in right about now. This does not look like this is
00:16:08.660gonna end well for you guys you're more savage i knew it supergirl arrives what's superman like
00:16:15.840he sees the good in everyone and i see the truth
00:16:19.000we haven't been formally introduced dc's supergirl only in theaters june 26th get tickets now
00:16:27.880one of my favorite family traditions that we do our birthday breakfast on the kid's birthday
00:16:34.800so we got going this morning because Henry is turning 13 today and I'll never forget 13 years
00:16:42.620ago Henry was born in a little hospital in Brooklyn New York just six days before my college
00:16:49.560graduation so I remember walking across the stage to receive my diploma and holding tiny little
00:16:56.040Henry in my arms it was such a special memory that I'll cherish forever and it feels like
00:17:00.480yesterday. So crazy that it's been 13 years. So today we made his favorite, which was
00:17:06.060German pancakes and Daniel made some homemade yogurt and water kefir last night. Charles made
00:17:12.220some glazed carrots. Daniel whipped up some beautiful French omelets. The kids had fun
00:17:19.000setting the table and lighting all the candles for Henry. He's the best oldest son to this crazy0.78
00:17:25.940bunch of ours. He's patient and he's loving and he's a very hard worker and he's a foodie and we
00:17:32.860love celebrating him today. Like, come on, that's beautiful and peaceful and wholesome. At least to
00:17:38.040me, that is the depiction, the embodiment of wholesome. As you saw, I mean, she posts her
00:17:43.600content online. She's clearly not just a homemaker. She has this company with her husband.
00:17:48.020She's an entrepreneur. She's a brand builder. She's a creator. She's a public figure, which
00:17:52.800goes against the entire reason why she's in the news as of recent anyways. There's a best-selling1.00
00:17:57.640novel by Carol Claire Burke called Yesteryear, which totally pokes fun at, you know, makes the0.94
00:18:04.880whole trad wife movement very satirical. Many readers couldn't help but notice the parallels
00:18:09.280between the main character, Natalie, in the book Yesteryear and Hannah or Ballerina Farm, saying
00:18:14.460that this book was very clearly inspired by Ballerina Farm. A reporter asked Ballerina Farm
00:18:19.040about this. And she rejects the trad wife, which I guess I haven't really defined trad wife. Maybe
00:18:24.340I should. Trad wife is women who reject modern gender roles and reverted to a more old fashioned1.00
00:18:31.440definition of womanhood, right? Trad meaning traditional. So traditional wife. But Hannah0.82
00:18:37.100rejects this label altogether. She says, yes, I have nine kids. Yes, I love my husband. Yes,
00:18:41.400I care about my family and my role as a mom to my children. But she says, I'm kind of the
00:18:47.300furthest thing from traditional. You know, she has a high earning job as a contributor to their
00:18:52.260family farm. She was a palerina at Juilliard. She says, those things don't really seem traditional0.94
00:18:57.180to me, but I don't pay attention to the labels or to the noise online. I just focus on my family
00:19:03.180and I really do what God feels like he's leading me to do. And that sort of security and confidence,
00:19:09.040confidence that you find in being a present mom, it drives people crazy. Let's watch some TikToks.
00:19:15.020If you don't believe yet that patriarchy operates like a cult, look no further than this ballerina1.00
00:19:20.760lady. Whether we view their content as aspirational and we secretly want to be like them,
00:19:25.100or whether we are critical of them and view them through a feminist lens that says the kind of
00:19:29.440content they create and profit off of, the kind of content they are selling to us is patriarchal0.93
00:19:35.600anti-feminist content intent on subjugating women. It was, is, and always will be about0.98
00:19:42.140the subjugation of women and for some reason y'all just aren't grasping it the cruelty is the
00:19:48.240point y'all i see hannah or ballerina farm getting mocked all of the time online and it's not just
00:19:56.120hannah it's anyone who really loves motherhood and homemaking and family life and spending time
00:20:02.820in the word and growing in your relationship with the lord individually but also with your your
00:20:07.700husband or your spouse or your partner. Okay. I see people getting mocked for that all the time
00:20:12.680online. People like feel the need to psychoanalyze Ballerina Farm. She, she must secretly
00:20:19.780be unhappy, right? You know, is she trapped? Is her husband have her trapped in that marriage?
00:20:24.900Is she brainwashed? Uh, there's this whole thing performative. She's constantly called
00:20:30.520regressive. Her content is called patriarchal propaganda. She's accused all the time of
00:20:36.520hiding her wealth and the help that she has. She's told constantly that she's the one who's0.99
00:20:42.440sending women back, taking us back in time. So just to be very clear, that same culture that
00:20:46.800often celebrates and encourages that sexual autonomy narrative for young women treats the
00:20:52.940visible choice of a large family and making that large family a domestic priority as dangerous.
00:21:00.100And the response online should tell us something. The internet cannot handle a woman who finds joy1.00
00:21:05.500and contentment in a life that is not centered on self-optimization. And actually, I really do1.00
00:21:12.180believe this. I think the people mocking Ballerina Farm online live in this primal state of jealousy.
00:21:19.900I think they're jealous of what Hannah has, how she portrays herself, and the things that she
00:21:25.300finds joy in. People are oftentimes, I've learned this over the past few years, they're oftentimes
00:21:30.280most offended by someone who seems happy, who lives a life that they like, a life that they
00:21:36.880chose to live, mind you. And that's what Hannah does. She appears content, even how she's
00:21:41.920responded to reporters over the years and just saying, look, I keep my head down. I don't focus
00:21:45.560on the noise. That sort of contentment drives people crazy. And it's deeply threatening,
00:21:52.120particularly when it comes from a life that modern elites oftentimes just dismiss.
00:21:58.060taking a quick pause because i want to mention a college success story spotlight presented to you
00:22:03.540by why refi today's spotlight is an incredible story about using your platform to lift up others
00:22:09.360i want to highlight mudia rubin which is a fantastic wide receiver for the usf bulls mudia
00:22:14.780grew up hearing about the extreme hardships that his parents faced in nigeria i mean even to get
00:22:19.420clean water he saw the deep scars on his father's leg from that sort of grueling labor instead of
00:22:25.660playing football and enjoying his own success, Mudia took a major portion of his NIL earnings
00:22:31.160and founded the Nigeria Water Project, which has now brought clean, safe drinking water to six
00:22:35.780different villages in Nigeria. That is incredible. And on top of that, he's pursuing a master's degree
00:22:41.360in biomedical engineering. I don't know how he has time for all of that. I love Mudia's story
00:22:47.260because it shows, of course, not just his athletic prowess, but his incredible character.
00:22:52.840He is playing for his family's heritage and for the future of people, I mean, half a world