Gaines for Girls with Riley Gaines - One Year Later： Riley Gaines Reflects on Charlie Kirk

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00:00:30.000 between our daughter's birth and between charlie's murder i'm a totally different person today than i was a year ago to the day radically different the things i value have changed the way i view the world has changed

00:00:50.160 today marks one full year 365 days since the assassination of charlie kirk i just figured i would speak very candidly

00:00:58.400 to who Charlie was to me personally, how pivotal truthfully he was in my life and ultimately who I

00:01:08.440 am, the person I am, the things that I value, the platform that I have. So much of that I really

00:01:14.800 have to accredit to Charlie and the confidence and the belief that he had in me. Even when it

00:01:22.140 absolutely didn't make sense at all for him to believe in me. He did. I just want to implore you

00:01:29.180 right now to think of how you felt in the immediate following Charlie Kirk's assassination.

00:01:37.060 It was a really powerful, I mean, it was dubbed a cultural revival, especially among young people

00:01:43.480 where we saw people returning to church for the first time, maybe in a very long time,

00:01:49.020 sometimes ever, opening their Bible, buying Bibles, kids starting turning point chapters.

00:01:54.680 I felt convicted. I don't have too many moments in my life being now 26 years old where, you know,

00:02:00.400 you'll never forget where you were when you heard the news. I can think of two main ones in my life.

00:02:05.940 The first one being when President Trump was shot in Butler, Pennsylvania. We saw him come up pretty

00:02:09.760 quickly with his fist in the air saying, fight, fight, fight. But that was terrifying to think

00:02:14.280 that someone had successfully taken a shot at the president of the United States. And I would say

00:02:19.440 this, even if it were Joe Biden or Kamala Harris, okay, that that was in some way, shape or form

00:02:25.320 able to happen first and foremost, but secondly, not condemned immediately by everyone. So that

00:02:32.860 was a moment I'll never forget. And of course, the second one being when Charlie Kirk was

00:02:37.040 assassinated. Actually, I was in line at Chick-fil-A when I found out this news. I had a

00:02:45.740 colleague from work call me, very frantic, on the phone. Hey, are you okay? I'm kind of stopped in

00:02:53.560 my tracks. I'm like, yeah, I'm great. Actually, never better. I'm in line at Chick-fil-A.

00:02:57.700 And they just prefaced me and said, whatever you do, don't go on Twitter. Don't open your social

00:03:03.460 media, Charlie's been shot. And of course, when someone tells you don't do something,

00:03:09.060 what's the first thing you do? I opened up X and I'm immediately met with this video,

00:03:15.900 the video of Charlie Kirk being shot, the shot that would prematurely take his life.

00:03:22.280 And I just convinced myself it was fake. Actually, at first, I convinced myself that it was AI,

00:03:30.840 a doctored video, that that didn't really happen. And I think I lived in that state of disbelief

00:03:36.560 for certainly the first 24 hours. I remember, you know, the black and white obituary style photos

00:03:43.680 on Fox News as you're watching. And they're talking about him in was, were, verbiage,

00:03:49.660 past tense verbiage. I was choosing to not believe it was real. I remember trying to go to bed that

00:03:57.000 night, which I couldn't really sleep. Um, it was like a constant, just prayer, a prayer for Erica

00:04:02.780 and for the kids I remember praying for at the time. Um, and it was the next day. That's when

00:04:08.320 the tearfulness set in. That's when like the grief really set in and the realization that

00:04:12.420 holy moly, he's actually gone. This actually happened. Um, then I'm not proud to say it,

00:04:19.380 But that grief turned into anger.

00:04:23.360 I felt so enraged, again, that something like this could happen,

00:04:29.180 that it happened while Charlie was doing what he loved most,

00:04:34.460 the thing he was most passionate about beyond his family in this entire world,

00:04:39.280 was mobilizing the youth.

00:04:43.600 And of course, watching people celebrate his assassination online, 0.98

00:04:47.900 watching these deranged, bloodthirsty ghouls and lunatics online celebrating his assassination, 0.92

00:04:56.300 all while claiming to be morally superior to probably you and me, if you have similar 0.93

00:05:02.980 viewpoints to me or to certainly Charlie. They think that they're the morally superior ones.

00:05:09.560 In celebrating an innocent man's death, they believe even still that they're morally superior.

00:05:16.620 that level of delusion is remarkable it's remarkable but i guess you shouldn't be too

00:05:24.520 surprised when those same people who celebrated charlie's death uh are probably the same people

00:05:30.420 who think that men can get pregnant so i'm not overly surprised by that level of delusion

00:05:34.500 and total hypocrisy but i will tell you now a year since the assassination um i don't feel angry

00:05:44.600 i mean of course i recognize these circumstances never should have happened and we should do

00:05:50.020 everything we can if we're people who care about morality and justice and what is true we should

00:05:57.620 do everything that we can to make sure it never happens to anyone else again no one should be

00:06:02.700 murdered for their political views for their religious views um all that to say i don't feel

00:06:08.560 angry anymore. I feel hopeful and I feel inspired. His death, it radicalized me. And I say that as

00:06:20.120 someone who's always been like a Christian conservative. Even still, it's radicalized me 0.80

00:06:26.720 in a way that is hard to explain. You have to realize at the time of his assassination,

00:06:31.400 this dichotomy that I was really struggling with. Because on one hand, when he died,

00:06:38.200 when he was murdered, I was 38 weeks pregnant. It's just kind of weird when you have this

00:06:43.340 specific point in your life that is supposed to be so joyous because you're engaging in the act

00:06:49.740 of creation. You are physically bringing life into this world. And what's more beautiful or

00:06:56.040 joyous than that. But then on the other hand, I was witnessing such darkness and immorality and

00:07:03.060 chaos and disorder where life was being prematurely taken from this world. And so I really, really

00:07:10.200 struggled with this dichotomy and realizing that it was such a perfect example of how good and evil

00:07:18.540 can and do coexist, how bitter and sweet, how dark and light coexist in the world that we live

00:07:26.780 in. I will say now, between our daughter's birth and between Charlie's murder, I'm a totally

00:07:33.780 different person today than I was a year ago to the day. Radically different. The things I value

00:07:41.740 have changed. The way I view the world has changed. How I spend an hour has changed. How I view myself

00:07:48.380 even, how I talk about myself, the interactions that I have, my behavior, all of that has changed

00:07:53.980 my experience to life-changing, life-altering experiences, like back-to-back, three weeks

00:08:00.960 apart, not even actually three weeks apart with Charlie's assassination and my daughter's birth.

00:08:05.880 And I can, I mean, emphatically say that I'm a 10 times better human being, 10 times better

00:08:11.720 wife and Christian now than compared to a year ago. I'll share a few Charlie memories with you.

00:08:19.020 The first one being when he and I did a Prove Me Wrong together.

00:08:23.300 We were in San Francisco, and at the time, I was 20 weeks pregnant, and I hadn't told

00:08:29.220 anyone.

00:08:30.260 I was able to kind of conceal it that my bump wasn't very big at first, and so I hadn't

00:08:35.600 told anyone I was pregnant.

00:08:36.720 Charlie was my boss at Turning Point, and so I was very nervous to tell him I was pregnant.

00:08:42.460 It was all of the fear and the worry and the pressure and the stress that I had in telling

00:08:47.540 him this was placed entirely internally. Like it was internal fear that I had. I didn't really have

00:08:53.740 any reason to believe that he would be angry or frustrated because of course with pregnancy comes

00:08:59.480 maternity leave, which means time away from work. I think I just adopted that mindset because we

00:09:04.740 very much live in this go, go, go fast paced society where you have to continue achieving

00:09:09.860 and doing and climbing. And so I was very scared to tell him I was pregnant because it meant I

00:09:14.540 wouldn't be able to go on campuses and travel, actually, for a few weeks. And so we're doing

00:09:21.480 this prove me wrong. And a girl walks up to the microphone and she asked a question about abortion.

00:09:26.520 I don't even remember what the question was necessarily. But the way Charlie answered it,

00:09:32.920 now he says to the girl, well, you know, I'll entertain you. Let's say Riley here, Riley,

00:09:37.520 who sat right next to me, let's say she's 20 weeks pregnant. And I thought to myself,

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00:10:12.060 Mike, he's a prophet. Charlie's a prophet. How does he know I'm 20 weeks pregnant? I couldn't

00:10:17.600 even focus the rest of the prove me wrong because I was so bewildered that he just came right out

00:10:22.600 with this. Um, I hadn't told anyone. No one else knew. The only person that knew was Louis. And

00:10:28.560 of course my family and maybe my closest friends, but no one in Charlie's orbit. And so, um, it was

00:10:35.500 actually after the prove me wrong, I approach him. Um, and I say, Hey, Charlie, uh, you know,

00:10:40.660 how? You answered that girl's question and say, well, what if Riley was 20 weeks pregnant?

00:10:45.700 I said, well, I am. And I will never forget his response to me. He said, Riley,

00:10:51.840 I am so happy for you. We need more babies. This is the most consequential, rewarding,

00:10:59.060 fulfilling, satisfactory, purposeful thing that you as a woman, God willing, that you're capable

00:11:04.920 to do that you will ever do. Take all of the time in the world. That is primary. Everything else in

00:11:11.220 your life should become secondary. Being a mom is the greatest ministry that you will ever serve in.

00:11:16.720 Just know that we are here. We're here to support you, to cheer you on. When you're done having that

00:11:22.240 baby, go have more babies. And he got in the car and drove away. I was so kind of embarrassed of

00:11:29.160 myself at this point. I didn't have any reason to believe that wouldn't be the response that he

00:11:33.780 would give. But I felt embarrassed that I even thought it was a potential. That response he gave

00:11:41.380 is rare. It's really rare in the corporate world. But nonetheless, it is so on brand for Charlie and

00:11:50.480 the things that he cared about. Following President Trump's victory, we were at Mar-a-Lago,

00:11:55.200 President Trump's home. You can imagine anyone who was anyone was there. I'm talking cabinet

00:12:01.300 secretaries who weren't at the time cabinet secretaries. Anyways, Charlie and Turning Point

00:12:06.260 had put together this dinner for this evening and somebody was running late. And so he approaches

00:12:14.020 me, Riley, I need you to go on stage. I'm not, I'm not that girl. I'm not that girl. For Charlie,

00:12:21.580 that's easy, right? Or I don't want to say it's easy, but it looked easy. He made it look easy

00:12:25.140 in getting on stage. He didn't need notes. He didn't need to prep. He could just get on stage

00:12:29.080 at any point and speak so articulately and eloquent. I can't do that. I am not that person.

00:12:35.980 Maybe you are. Maybe you're not. Most people aren't, right? Put yourself in my shoes where

00:12:40.780 you're getting asked to go speak for 10, 15 minutes on stage in front of dignitaries and

00:12:46.680 secretaries and all these important people like I need to jot some notes down. I don't know. I was

00:12:51.360 so anxious. And I think Charlie could tell I was anxious, but of course I was willing to do it.

00:12:55.680 you know, whatever you need from me. Aye, aye, Captain. I would follow Charlie into war.

00:12:59.760 So I told him, sure, I'll do this. And he looked at me and he said, Riley, I believe in you.

00:13:03.860 Like, I'm choosing you to do this for a reason. I believe in you. And he had no reason to,

00:13:10.600 beyond, you know, our personal relationship and, you know, getting to know each other over the

00:13:16.820 past few years at that point. He had no reason to believe that I would go up there and, you know,

00:13:22.820 stall for the next 15 minutes. I wasn't a skilled public speaker per se. There were far more

00:13:30.900 qualified people in the room to do that. But he told me, he said, I believe in you. And it's that

00:13:36.180 sort of belief. It was almost like a transfer of confidence. Him believing in me allowed me to

00:13:43.620 believe in myself. That moment probably meant nothing to him. But for me, it really did mean

00:13:51.800 everything there was a piece that came out in the new york times written by erica his now widow

00:13:58.780 his beautiful bride now widow about um grief and faith and her her journey with the two over the

00:14:06.700 past few years here's the piece here it's titled what i've learned about grief uh it's september

00:14:12.420 11th of 2025 the day after my husband charlie kirk was shot and killed the past 24 hours feel

00:14:17.780 like a fever dream as i land in phoenix from utah and return home i get out of the car and my kids

00:14:22.320 run into my arms they have no idea where i was or what i was doing they only care that i'm home

00:14:27.100 as i walk to the front door there's a tightening in my chest i don't recognize is this what grief

00:14:31.920 feels like i sit on the couch where charlie sat two nights ago watching the cubs with our kids

00:14:36.380 i feel a wave building inside of me and i know it's about to crash i don't know how i'm going

00:14:40.840 to do this i told the second lady usha vance earlier that day as she held my hand she said

00:14:45.500 you know when you're on an airplane with your kids and you're going to land in 15 minutes but

00:14:48.780 the kids are going crazy screaming throwing things and then the plane lands and the kids relax and

00:14:54.040 everything is fine again that's how it will be just get through the next 15 minutes her words

00:14:59.680 are seared into my heart eventually i work up the courage to go into our bathroom i stared at his

00:15:04.720 side of the sink his toothbrush was still lying on its side his towel hanging on the hook i'll never

00:15:09.200 touch that towel i told myself i stood in the doorway of our bedroom i turned on the light and

00:15:13.480 I walked toward his side of the bed. I stared at his pillow and wondered how long a person's

00:15:17.180 sink can last in sheets. I stood there in silence, replaying all of the completely ordinary mornings

00:15:22.020 we woke up there together. I wasn't ready to be there, so I turned off the light and crawled into

00:15:25.720 bed with my three-year-old daughter. Just get through the next 15 minutes. Grief is strange.

00:15:30.700 Time continues even when every part of you wants it to pause, or better yet, rewind. But the people

00:15:34.920 we love who have passed on would not want us to spend the rest of our lives trying to rewind.

00:15:38.420 At first I needed to survive the next 15 minutes. Over time, I realized that Charlie would want me

00:15:43.660 to live them. When you lose someone you love, it's easy to struggle to understand God's plan.

00:15:47.860 One of the hardest tests of our faith occurs when bad things happen. True faith means accepting that

00:15:52.280 we won't get every answer and finding peace in that. I've seen extraordinary good born out of

00:15:56.700 something unimaginably evil. I've watched people return to faith in droves, reconcile with their

00:16:01.160 families, and forgive old wounds because of Charlie. I know my husband is in heaven, but I ache for him

00:16:05.800 to be here still i can stand and say without a shadow of a doubt that god is good grief is

00:16:10.200 universal it doesn't care whom you voted for where you come from or what you believe those who have

00:16:14.880 walked through grief know that the waves never completely disappear they aren't supposed to

00:16:18.620 i'm learning that grieving charlie and living life at the same time are part of the rhythm

00:16:22.040 of grief i can miss him with every part of me and still laugh with our children i can have a broken

00:16:26.480 heart and still experience joy if you're living through grief i won't tell you what to feel or

00:16:29.880 that tomorrow will be better than today i will tell you what a dear friend told me just get

00:16:34.000 through the next 15 minutes. One day, maybe when you least expect it, you'll start to see that those

00:16:38.540 15 minutes hold more than just grief. The grief is there always, but so is the beautiful gift

00:16:44.100 of life. This is the woman who Jennifer Welch and her ilk incessantly attack. I don't know how 1.00

00:16:53.240 Jennifer Welch sleeps at night. I read that piece a few days ago. And of course, the piece that

00:17:02.280 sticks out to me is erica's faith i am so in awe of this woman she's a far better woman than i

00:17:11.080 um i try and put myself in her shoes which i know is impossible and you can't really do you

00:17:17.880 could never conceptualize losing your husband the father of your kids um but i just know and again

00:17:26.740 i'm very self-aware and of course i'm very transparent i'm very honest or at least i i

00:17:31.380 try to be, I know I would not be as forgiving and just fully surrendered as Erica has been.

00:17:38.780 If Erica and her grace and her ability to stand feels unnatural to you, we see that a lot online,

00:17:47.540 like there's just something off about Erica. If she and her ability to stand feels unnatural to

00:17:55.140 you, that's probably because her faith in the Lord is unnatural. It doesn't feel as if her faith

00:18:03.840 is of this world. Um, and I'm in awe of it. She seems unnatural to you because her faith

00:18:12.560 is unnatural and I will continue to be an Erica defender and I will continue to be a podcast

00:18:19.040 vulture dissenter this is not me saying you know don't ask questions of course ask questions that's

00:18:25.800 what charlie did so well but if you don't think that erica kirk his widow wants truth and justice

00:18:34.860 and accountability more than anyone in this world more than people who claim to be his best friend

00:18:42.020 despite the fact that they didn't follow each other on socials she wasn't invited to his wedding

00:18:46.080 If you want to believe that...

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00:19:15.880 call 1-866-531-2600 to visit connexontario.ca. Erica Kirk doesn't want truth and justice as bad

00:19:20.700 as some of the other people out there. It's the beauty of America, I guess, is you get to believe

00:19:24.260 that. But I get to call you stupid for it. And maybe it's easier for me to come to the conclusion 1.00

00:19:28.860 as decisively and as confidently as I have because I've been around Erica. We've spent

00:19:35.560 time together in the past year. I'm not going to indulge any of the private conversations or

00:19:41.420 the behind the scenes. But what I can tell you is that the strength that she's shown, the composure,

00:19:47.400 the grace, the mercy, the forgiveness, and forgiving her husband's assassin, alleged

00:19:54.460 assassin. I think the memorial was like 10, 11 days after he was murdered. Only through God,

00:20:03.300 only through God can a grieving widow find the wherewithal to lead as she has. And she's an

00:20:11.240 imperfect person, just as I'm an imperfect person, we are all sinners. But I strive to be more like

00:20:18.060 Erica Kirk. And if my support for Erica and Charlie's legacy and Turning Point USA, if that

00:20:24.880 makes you want to unfollow me because something feels fishy with Turning Point, I don't want to

00:20:31.540 sound harsh or insincere or anything less than grateful for those of you who have supported

00:20:37.400 me and the mission, right? Like all that to say, I don't care. I don't care. Don't follow me.

00:20:43.540 Unfollow me. The unfollow button, the block button, unsubscribe. Like I really don't care.

00:20:50.360 And when the time comes for a witness impact statement, if obviously Erica chooses to give

00:20:58.000 one, I hope she looks straight into Tyler Robinson's eyes. Her husband's alleged assassin

00:21:06.300 and doesn't look away.

00:21:08.860 I hope she speaks directly to him,

00:21:11.700 speaks into his soul.

00:21:13.400 It won't bring Charlie back,

00:21:14.820 but hopefully there's a level of closure

00:21:16.660 in that for her.

00:21:18.720 I mentioned I feel positive and hopeful.

00:21:22.100 I really mean that.

00:21:23.080 I've been on like 15 to 20 campuses,

00:21:26.860 high school campuses, college campuses,

00:21:29.240 since Charlie's assassination

00:21:30.760 and to see so many young people

00:21:32.740 who are desperate, desperate for the truth.

00:21:36.300 They crave it. They realize they've been denied it for a really long time, whether that's

00:21:42.380 institutionally, whether that's because of social media, that they want to hear.

00:21:49.080 Like they have existential questions that they want answered, that they're realizing that chat

00:21:54.380 GPT can't answer for them. And so they're showing up. It makes me feel optimistic.

00:22:01.680 You know, Gen Z is often told that we're the generation that's going to ruin America.

00:22:05.720 I don't think that.

00:22:07.340 Charlie didn't think that.

00:22:08.760 Actually, he thought Gen Z was the generation that was going to save America.

00:22:13.700 With all the discourse online right now, with the Lindsay Clancy trial,

00:22:18.580 and seeing so many, particularly young women,

00:22:22.660 who are at the defense of a mother who murdered her three children,

00:22:29.220 allegedly murdered her three children.

00:22:31.580 um it i think the response has pretty overwhelmingly actually been by by

00:22:38.540 conservatives you know young women are a lost cause um i just implore everyone listening to this

00:22:46.520 whether you're young you're old my message would be don't give up on the youth charlie didn't and

00:22:52.360 if we treat an entire generation of young people especially young women as just like a write-off

00:22:58.100 then we forfeit the very thing that charlie died doing and i just ask that you say a quick prayer

00:23:03.240 or maybe commit yourself to long term praying for erica and turning point and unity

00:23:10.420 and truth and justice to prevail charlie was always very clear about the things that mattered

00:23:17.120 in life get married have kids build a legacy pass down your values pursue the eternal seek true joy

00:23:23.960 um his mission has now become his legacy and i believe it's up to all of us to do our part and

00:23:29.940 carrying that on thank you guys for watching the riley gain show you can subscribe right here we

00:23:36.020 have new episodes every single tuesday and friday at 10 a.m eastern time and we are covering everything

00:23:40.980 from pop culture to politics to deep dives to motherhood and sports all of that and more we

00:23:46.020 want to hear from you though what is it that you want to hear comment down below we can't wait to

00:23:49.320 see you next time.

00:24:00.200 So your decaf oat milk, extra but not piping hot, four pumps of caramel, no sugar, small latte,

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00:24:16.800 Here's your decaf oat milk extra,

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00:24:19.420 Aha, thanks.

00:24:20.240 Playtime's over.

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Gaines for Girls with Riley Gaines - September 10, 2026

One Year Later： Riley Gaines Reflects on Charlie Kirk

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