Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - Ep 152 | The Lost Boys | Get Off My Lawn

00:00:17.000 Making my way through the hood with your boo.

00:00:20.000 All his homeboys think I'm cute.

00:00:22.000 It's Net Off My Lawn with Gavin McKinnis.

00:00:25.000 Riding around 10 and 5, toting his iron.

00:00:30.000 Bad night now, I've tried none.

00:00:32.000 You getting feel too. 1.00

00:00:35.000 I could have killed you. 0.99

00:00:37.000 You lost a tennis shoe. 1.00

00:00:40.000 We shooting out the roof.

00:00:42.000 And now you wanna lose.

00:00:47.000 I was rolling with...

00:00:47.000 Ow!

00:00:49.000 Wait, I don't want to lose this time.

00:00:52.000 I'm not safe around this dude.

00:00:52.000 Go to the video.

00:00:56.000 Dude is black car.

00:00:58.000 Look familiar to you.

00:01:01.000 It look like them dudes.

00:01:02.000 Dude.

00:01:03.000 Dude.

00:01:04.000 Oh. 1.00

00:01:05.000 I killed another fool. 1.00

00:01:08.000 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 1.00

00:01:09.000 Kids play in school.

00:01:10.000 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:01:11.000 Don't wanna be the dude. 1.00

00:01:13.000 I have to show you fool. 1.00

00:01:14.000 Nobody fuck with you. 1.00

00:01:15.000 It's Big Fuck Your Life. 1.00

00:01:18.000 Not this time. 1.00

00:01:20.000 We put them in the sky.

00:01:23.000 You can't move with your life. 1.00

00:01:24.000 Our goofies must die. 1.00

00:01:26.000 You still need if you try. 1.00

00:01:28.000 Don't you like your stars?

00:01:30.000 Don't pull this part too.

00:01:33.000 I'm gonna strike for you. 0.99

00:01:35.000 I'm gonna strike for you. 0.99

00:01:37.000 I hit another phone. 0.99

00:01:39.000 Another funeral.

00:01:42.000 Ah, baby.

00:01:44.000 Close enough. 0.99

00:01:45.000 I think my favorite line in there is, I could have shot you. 0.99

00:01:49.000 You lost a tennis shoe. 0.97

00:01:52.000 Hey, see if you can find those Canadians trying to escape arrest from a bodega because she lost her tennis shoe too. 0.63

00:02:00.000 And I think it's they she climbs up into the yeah, there you got it.

00:02:07.000 You'll notice that, and people don't talk about this enough in the mainstream media.

00:02:11.000 With almost every conflict, someone loses a shoe.

00:02:15.000 And this woman lost her shoes. 1.00

00:02:18.000 Every car accident, major car crash, when a car hits someone, they lose a shoe.

00:02:22.000 At least these guys are wearing sneakers, though.

00:02:24.000 This guy's awesome.

00:02:26.000 I just, God, if that back door was only open, I totally sympathize with him.

00:02:31.000 That's the problem with America's Most Wanted and all these crime shows.

00:02:34.000 You're like, go, go.

00:02:35.000 That guy's a criminal who's, you know, screwing this guy out of insurance money and hurting his business and almost killing him, I assume.

00:02:43.000 And my heart, and I'm not proud of this, inadvertently goes to the criminals. 0.89

00:02:47.000 Get out, get out. 1.00

00:02:48.000 That's a good idea, perfect ass. 1.00

00:02:50.000 Go, go up. 1.00

00:02:52.000 Now she's going to lose a tennis shoe. 1.00

00:02:53.000 He's got...

00:03:01.000 This is a July 4th app.

00:03:02.000 We're not having any more episodes this week.

00:03:04.000 Look, there goes her shoe. 1.00

00:03:07.000 She lost a tennis shoe.

00:03:08.000 It's actually a running shoe.

00:03:10.000 Look how many cops it took to arrest them. 0.65

00:03:13.000 Good work, guys.

00:03:14.000 Good work, mess head criminals.

00:03:16.000 You almost escaped.

00:03:17.000 Gotta be a little more careful, though, when you're going through ceiling vents.

00:03:21.000 They're not really designed to carry 100 pounds.

00:03:25.000 Fun episode today.

00:03:26.000 I'm just gonna wing it.

00:03:27.000 We got a bunch of videos we want to catch up on.

00:03:30.000 Super fun, super light, not too serious.

00:03:32.000 I'm gonna be belching a lot thanks to this German beer I imported called Budweiser.

00:03:38.000 And we have CRTV tonight on Friday.

00:03:42.000 What do we got there?

00:03:43.000 We got Kurt Schilling.

00:03:47.000 We got Derek Hunter.

00:03:51.000 A bunch of fun guests on Friday night that I want you to check out.

00:03:55.000 It's a really good show.

00:03:56.000 Kurt Schilling may or may not have an important announcement to make about CR-TV.

00:04:00.000 We will see about that.

00:04:02.000 So I know you're partying and everything, but please take some time out to enjoy this particularly funny show.

00:04:08.000 And I do a great July 4th monologue where I drink Budweiser and talk about beer and how important it was in the facilitation of the American Revolution.

00:04:20.000 But let's get serious here.

00:04:22.000 So who was that, by the way?

00:04:23.000 Sexy Red? 0.97

00:04:25.000 Yep.

00:04:26.000 That was Sexy Red. 0.99

00:04:30.000 Here's an interesting newspiece. 0.99

00:04:31.000 I want to catch up on a bunch of newspieces we didn't get to earlier, a bunch of stupid videos. 0.96

00:04:35.000 But let's start with Ricky Berwick. 0.98

00:04:37.000 This is my pal.

00:04:38.000 He's from Waterloo, Ontario, a tiny town in Waterloo.

00:04:42.000 And despite being so fairly handicapped, he is hilarious.

00:04:47.000 And I believe that comedy is sort of like an intense artistic talent.

00:04:53.000 Like my father, my grandfather was a painter on my mother's side, and he was a reluctant artist.

00:04:58.000 And he did these beautiful paintings.

00:04:59.000 I think he had one art show, and he just stuffed them under the couch, but they're all stunning photorealism.

00:05:05.000 As all Scots are. 1.00

00:05:05.000 He was cheap, right? 1.00

00:05:06.000 He grew up rich, but he squandered the family fortune.

00:05:09.000 And he would use like liquid paper and a piece of a crayon and a pastel and just do this stunning portrait.

00:05:14.000 Here's an example of one.

00:05:16.000 There's another gorgeous piece that we have up in our house.

00:05:20.000 And I know my mother wasn't into art, but when I was a kid, I'd say, Mom, can you help me draw a porcupine?

00:05:26.000 And she'd go, oh, here.

00:05:29.000 And draw a perfect porcupine.

00:05:31.000 Like, it looked like she traced it.

00:05:34.000 And I believe that was genetic.

00:05:35.000 Now, I think Ricky Berwick similarly has a genetic sense of comedic timing.

00:05:40.000 And he uses his severe handicap to aid his comedy. 0.89

00:05:45.000 But you're either funny or you're not.

00:05:48.000 And more women are funny than men. 1.00

00:05:49.000 I say 95% of the population doesn't have this talent.

00:05:53.000 It's a 5% gift.

00:05:54.000 And with women, it's more like 1%. 1.00

00:05:58.000 But Ricky Berwick is part of the male 5%.

00:06:01.000 And check out him doing crippled news. 1.00

00:06:05.000 Someone drove into his local pharmacy and he hopped on his little scooter and went there to report.

00:06:11.000 I love his Canadian accent too.

00:06:13.000 It also helps the jokes.

00:06:14.000 Take it away, Ricky.

00:06:15.000 What happened at the pharmacy?

00:06:17.000 Cops are here, blasts everywhere, blowing around.

00:06:21.000 It's a dangerous situation.

00:06:23.000 You don't want to be near this place.

00:06:25.000 They don't want to be near this place.

00:06:27.000 This is crippled news. 0.98

00:06:31.000 Can I just interject here?

00:06:33.000 This is a little bit self-serving, and I've talked to Ricky about this.

00:06:36.000 I think he stole the tongue thing from me.

00:06:39.000 I used to do that on Fox News on Red Eye to be particularly uncharming and to gross people out and say, I like a lady as much as the next guy. 1.00

00:06:50.000 It sort of helps emphasize the point and make you seem totally disgusting. 0.61

00:06:54.000 And he uses it all the time. 0.93

00:06:56.000 And I said, dude, you stole the tongue thing from me.

00:06:58.000 And he goes, no, you stole it from me.

00:07:02.000 Let's agree to disagree.

00:07:03.000 Anyway, let's get back to it.

00:07:04.000 Crippled News.

00:07:05.000 Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. 0.98

00:07:09.000 I've seen the crime.

00:07:09.000 We're here.

00:07:11.000 Someone has trashed into shopper's drug mart.

00:07:16.000 Look at this slide.

00:07:18.000 It's fing crazy.

00:07:19.000 So a Tesla slammed straight into a shopper's drug mart, breaking the glass window.

00:07:26.000 That big glass window you always see at shoppers.

00:07:29.000 They broke that with a Tesla.

00:07:32.000 I have no idea yet.

00:07:33.000 We're trying to interview someone on the scene.

00:07:35.000 No, you're not.

00:07:36.000 This is crippling.

00:07:38.000 Sir, sir, sir, sir.

00:07:40.000 What has happened?

00:07:43.000 He's got to be braver.

00:07:45.000 And you don't have to blur out faces, dude.

00:07:47.000 It's totally legal to photograph people in a public space.

00:07:49.000 If you zoom in. 0.99

00:07:51.000 We got goddamn witnesses. 0.99

00:07:57.000 Excuse me, ma'am. 0.99

00:07:58.000 What has happened here?

00:08:00.000 I don't know.

00:08:01.000 Like, I just came in and the car was running.

00:08:05.000 What are they going to sue you for?

00:08:07.000 Stop us, jump off.

00:08:09.000 Were you here when it happened?

00:08:11.000 I don't know, maybe something's wrong with the truck.

00:08:17.000 Thank you.

00:08:19.000 Thank you.

00:08:22.000 There's glass everywhere.

00:08:24.000 Anyway, you get the idea.

00:08:25.000 You got to check out Ricky Berwick on Twitter.

00:08:27.000 He's the best.

00:08:28.000 He's really good at editing, too.

00:08:30.000 His videos, he cuts them at the perfect time.

00:08:33.000 But here, let me explain something about people in a public place because they used to try to sue me for do's and don'ts back in Vice days.

00:08:39.000 There was a fashion column I did where I made fun of people's pants.

00:08:42.000 If someone is in a public place, there's a reasonable expectation of being photographed.

00:08:47.000 That's it.

00:08:48.000 There was a famous story, I think it was in the Montreal Gazette, and it said, spring has sprung.

00:08:56.000 And they had a couple in Central Park in New York City, and they were holding hands.

00:09:01.000 They're madly in love, and the leaves were blowing.

00:09:03.000 Yay, spring is here.

00:09:06.000 That was his mistress.

00:09:07.000 The guy was having an affair, and it ruined his marriage back in Mount Rio.

00:09:11.000 He was in New York having an affair.

00:09:14.000 And he tried to sue them.

00:09:18.000 And the judge said, look, you're in a public place.

00:09:21.000 You knew 100 people were going to see you that day.

00:09:25.000 Turns out 100,000 people saw you that day.

00:09:27.000 So your anger is that too many people saw you.

00:09:31.000 Not that people saw you, but that the number wasn't to your liking.

00:09:36.000 Sorry.

00:09:37.000 You know?

00:09:38.000 That's just the way it goes.

00:09:40.000 So don't blur people.

00:09:41.000 And now if they're in the privacy of their own home, that's a whole other deal entirely.

00:09:47.000 Here's another funny video I wanted to show.

00:09:51.000 And this links back to feminism. 1.00

00:09:52.000 Ladies, don't put your hands in sharks' mouths. 1.00

00:09:57.000 Don't go to riots with a cigarette in your mouth and pick fights with beasts who have their adrenaline coursing through their veins.

00:10:04.000 And don't go up to a shark and tickle its teeth.

00:10:06.000 That should be a given.

00:10:08.000 But nope.

00:10:09.000 Everything is groovy.

00:10:10.000 There's no such thing as danger.

00:10:14.000 There you go.

00:10:16.000 What could possibly go wrong putting food in my hand and handing it to a shark?

00:10:23.000 Oh my God.

00:10:25.000 Anyway, that's that entire video, but there goes her fingers. 1.00

00:10:28.000 Even Heather Heyer, I know it was a horrific thing and it's sort of become the ultimate taboo to even mention her name.

00:10:36.000 But what was she doing going to what was she deemed to be a Nazi rally, just in flip-flops and a sign ready to throw down?

00:10:45.000 I mean, I'm obviously not saying she should have been killed.

00:10:48.000 I'm obviously not saying she was asking for it.

00:10:50.000 But one thread I keep saying on the show is, ladies, and this goes for our side too, don't go to riots.

00:10:56.000 Don't go to brawls.

00:10:58.000 These things are rumbles.

00:11:00.000 You're headed to a rumble, a gang rumble, where people's passions are high.

00:11:06.000 And one side, they think we're evil.

00:11:08.000 We just think they're wrong. 0.68

00:11:09.000 One side thinks they're fighting literal Nazis who want to commit genocide, which obviously is completely insane.

00:11:17.000 But if that was true, then avoid those people.

00:11:21.000 And I keep repeating this.

00:11:22.000 When I was a kid, we fought Nazi skinheads.

00:11:24.000 It was petrifying.

00:11:26.000 The last thing I would ever do is expect my sister to come here.

00:11:30.000 Come to the brawl.

00:11:31.000 By the way, sorry, to get back to that opening song, Red Sexy, that has to be a drug dealer's sister, right? 1.00

00:11:38.000 She's devoid of talent.

00:11:39.000 She doesn't look wealthy enough like that Katie girl who did that Friday song.

00:11:43.000 What was her name?

00:11:43.000 Remember that?

00:11:44.000 Rebecca Black?

00:11:47.000 Rebecca Black was clearly her daddy buying her a rap producer. 1.00

00:11:50.000 It's time to make that terrible song.

00:11:52.000 This girl doesn't appear to have that much money. 1.00

00:11:55.000 I think her drug dealer brother threw down like 40 grand and said, you have a white boyfriend.

00:12:02.000 That seems cool.

00:12:02.000 That'll probably sell.

00:12:04.000 Here's some money.

00:12:06.000 What are you pulling up there?

00:12:06.000 Make a video.

00:12:07.000 The Friday song?

00:12:09.000 This is the hot problems.

00:12:10.000 You ever seen this one?

00:12:11.000 No.

00:12:12.000 It's kind of like the sister of the Friday.

00:12:15.000 Is it literally this sister?

00:12:16.000 No.

00:12:17.000 No, you know what I'm saying.

00:12:18.000 Yeah, I'm sorry.

00:12:19.000 I'm so literal.

00:12:23.000 Hot problems. 0.67

00:12:25.000 That sounds like diarrhea.

00:12:29.000 Why aren't you coming out, dude? 0.98

00:12:30.000 You said you're going to go get Mexican and then you're going to come out with us. 0.97

00:12:33.000 I got some hot problems.

00:12:35.000 I'll hopefully see you guys later on, but it's not looking good for me.

00:12:41.000 The Scottish stomach cannot digest jalapenos.

00:12:45.000 Look at me and tell me the truth.

00:12:48.000 What do you do when people don't know what we go through?

00:12:53.000 Think you're not going to be able to do it.

00:12:54.000 What are you going through?

00:12:55.000 Blue eyes and clocks.

00:12:58.000 But they don't know I have a really big heart.

00:13:01.000 Don't get me wrong, I know that I'm hot.

00:13:05.000 But textbook perfection really takes a lot.

00:13:09.000 We've got common phone, it's got common things.

00:13:13.000 Like Mike said, I can't be tamed.

00:13:21.000 We're just like you, except we're hot.

00:13:28.000 And real life, we're not perfect.

00:13:33.000 Can you zoom in on my face, Dave?

00:13:34.000 Get Get real close here.

00:13:41.000 Get right in.

00:13:43.000 Do a nice, strong, solid zoom.

00:13:47.000 Maybe even closer.

00:13:48.000 Let's see, as close as you can get.

00:13:51.000 Hi, I'm Gavin McInnes, and I'd like you to know that hot guys have problems too.

00:13:58.000 We're just like you.

00:14:02.000 This level of gorgeous doesn't mean I get a free pass everywhere I go.

00:14:07.000 I still have to go to the bathroom.

00:14:09.000 I still put my pants on one leg at a time.

00:14:11.000 I still have nightmares.

00:14:12.000 I still get stressed out.

00:14:13.000 I still have anxiety.

00:14:15.000 I know you see this and you think my life is one big red carpet.

00:14:20.000 It isn't.

00:14:21.000 It isn't one big red carpet. 0.95

00:14:24.000 You see this gorgeous sort of anal wrinklage? 0.99

00:14:27.000 My eyeballs look like an anus is shitting out an eyeball. 1.00

00:14:34.000 Believe it or not, I'm just like you, an ugly person. 0.99

00:14:40.000 Ladies, that's sort of like that chick Ebony, what's her name at Fox News? 1.00

00:14:48.000 E-B-O-N-I, which really irritates me.

00:14:51.000 I don't know why, but I really hate her name.

00:14:56.000 Yeah, check out her book.

00:14:58.000 I don't think I never heard her say anything of consequence.

00:15:04.000 Fox News has all these sort of derivative types.

00:15:07.000 Like there's the jock, there's the pretty girl, there's the blah, blah, blah.

00:15:10.000 And they just say what they're supposed to say every show.

00:15:12.000 Like I remember that chick who has funny teeth, the Jewish girl who's kind of a liberal woman. 0.76

00:15:17.000 No, not Jessica Tarloff, but another chick who's kind of hot, actually. 1.00

00:15:20.000 And she says, oh, these people are bringing in their families, the refugees, and I'm pro-immigration and my family was a refugee.

00:15:27.000 And then later, I was on another show with her, and she said, I said, they're all bringing in men.

00:15:32.000 And she goes, yeah, they have to bring in men only first because the men established the new house and then the family moves in. 0.99

00:15:40.000 And I realized, you're just anyone's dog for a bone.

00:15:43.000 You just, you're contradicting yourself.

00:15:44.000 The last time I was together on Kennedy, I believe, was the show with you.

00:15:48.000 And you just say your role.

00:15:50.000 It's like the jock goes, well, we should beat up nerds. 0.82

00:15:53.000 Oh, the nerds just saved your life. 0.98

00:15:55.000 Yeah, well, nerds rock, but some of them need wedge. 1.00

00:15:58.000 Like, there's no thought, there's no sincerity.

00:15:59.000 And that's what I get from Ebony Williams. 0.96

00:16:01.000 But look at her book, Pretty Powerful.

00:16:06.000 You're not ugly, but to just assume that everyone finds you attractive is kind of arrogant, is it not?

00:16:16.000 Hi, you're obviously wondering what it's like to be this powerful and this beautiful.

00:16:20.000 And you clearly want to hear from my point of view as a gorgeous person.

00:16:23.000 Let me break it down for you.

00:16:24.000 Us gorgeous people, it ain't all that.

00:16:27.000 It can get pretty rocky over here in incredibly attractive land.

00:16:33.000 Remember I said to David Cross once I go, do you think that you get laid mostly because you're famous?

00:16:39.000 Is that why you're popular with the ladies? 0.98

00:16:42.000 And he goes, obviously.

00:16:44.000 And then he goes, this ain't cutting it.

00:16:48.000 Some honesty.

00:16:51.000 All right.

00:16:53.000 Tom Arnold.

00:16:55.000 I have a theory about Tom Arnold.

00:16:57.000 I think he's intellectually inferior.

00:17:02.000 Nothing wrong with that. 0.92

00:17:03.000 Dave Cast right here, one of my best friends, my co-worker has a low IQ.

00:17:07.000 I don't care.

00:17:08.000 It's like being an albino.

00:17:09.000 It doesn't really come up that much.

00:17:11.000 They tend to get lost more with directions.

00:17:14.000 They have a little bit of trouble with the tip at lunch, doing the basic math.

00:17:20.000 What does that slow you down?

00:17:22.000 Like eight seconds a week?

00:17:24.000 Not a big deal.

00:17:25.000 Maybe they're getting lost adds another 20 minutes. 0.89

00:17:27.000 But I think Tom Arnold recognizes that he's going up against super smart weirdos like Michael J. Knowles, who is way smarter than me and obviously is intimidating if you're out there saying something like, I want to take the president down with invisible sex tapes.

00:17:43.000 So that's a pretty big hill to stand up.

00:17:47.000 That's a tall mountain to get on top of.

00:17:50.000 I just made up that colloquialism.

00:17:53.000 So you're intimidated when you do that.

00:17:54.000 And you're pushing a new show.

00:17:56.000 You have a chance to improve your legacy.

00:17:58.000 You're known as Tom Arnold's, I mean, Roseanne Barr's ex.

00:18:01.000 And so she's the Trump person.

00:18:02.000 She got fired. 0.97

00:18:03.000 She's down now.

00:18:04.000 Now, if you're the anti-Trump guy, this could sort of obfuscate your legacy and reboot your hard drive and make a different Tom Arnold.

00:18:13.000 So there's a lot of pressure on him.

00:18:14.000 So he goes, I know, I'll take an Adderall.

00:18:16.000 It's as Stephen Colbert described, air conditioning for the brain.

00:18:20.000 And I'll be super smart.

00:18:22.000 Or at least I'll be the smartest I can possibly be.

00:18:24.000 The problem is, Adderall is a hell of a drug.

00:18:27.000 It is literally speed.

00:18:29.000 You know, these tweakers we talked about in the 80s, porn stars and junkies walking around the streets of Hollywood and the East Village, the tweakers twitching.

00:18:41.000 Same drug.

00:18:42.000 It says on the bottle, amphetamine sulfate, meth, amphetamine, excuse me.

00:18:48.000 So I think if you're going to do Adderall for something important, here's my advice.

00:18:53.000 Take a pill.

00:18:55.000 I believe they come in like 20 milligrams, 10 milligrams.

00:18:59.000 Break it in half and then break that half in half.

00:19:02.000 Have a quarter or less and take that at 7 a.m., 8 a.m.

00:19:07.000 And then don't go near it for the rest of the day.

00:19:08.000 These kids today doing 40 milligrams, 80 milligrams?

00:19:12.000 That's like doing a gram of cocaine.

00:19:15.000 You are flying high, my friend.

00:19:18.000 Flying high.

00:19:22.000 I couldn't imagine it.

00:19:24.000 So that's my theory on what tarmel is, because I've done too much Adderall before.

00:19:28.000 We used to call it, I can't handle it anymore, I'm too old.

00:19:30.000 But when I had my first kid, we would get it prescribed.

00:19:33.000 Johnny Knoxville taught me how to get it prescribed.

00:19:35.000 What you do is you say, I'm having trouble at work, it's affecting my marriage.

00:19:38.000 I'm very tired.

00:19:39.000 I tried Riddlin, it didn't work.

00:19:41.000 But a friend of mine gave me Adderall illegally, and it really worked, and it helped my marriage, and it helped me at work, and it helped me function, and it solved all my problems.

00:19:50.000 Now, the Hippocratic Oath says, if I don't give it to this guy, I'm hurting him.

00:19:54.000 You get it. 0.98

00:19:56.000 Plus, New York is full of corrupt doctors.

00:19:57.000 I had this one doctor in New York we would go to, just paid him $100 and give you the pills, the Adderall.

00:20:03.000 I never tried Oxy, thank God.

00:20:05.000 But he was always high.

00:20:06.000 I remember he's wearing snowboard pants and like a dress shirt with a tie.

00:20:10.000 And this is on Park Avenue, right by Central Park, like the most expensive real estate in New York City.

00:20:16.000 And he would just be sort of like, hey, what is the story here?

00:20:19.000 He'd sign it, ask me a few questions.

00:20:21.000 And one time I left my briefcase there.

00:20:24.000 Oh, and I ran back to get it. 0.92

00:20:26.000 And as I came in, there was a black woman standing yelling at him. 1.00

00:20:30.000 She looked like a tranny. 1.00

00:20:31.000 She looked like total trash. 1.00

00:20:33.000 And he was sitting down, sort of reaching up at her. 1.00

00:20:35.000 And she's like, baba, baba, baba, baba, baba, ba, ba, ba.

00:20:37.000 And he, I remember him saying, I don't understand you.

00:20:45.000 Which could have been as simple as the thick ghetto black accent versus the upper west side rich kid New Yorker accent.

00:20:52.000 I mean, the ask you a question is the least of it.

00:20:54.000 They have developed two completely different dialects.

00:20:58.000 Anyway, it's a hell of a tangent to describe my theory about why Tom Arnold is so bad in interviews these days.

00:21:07.000 Here he is on CNN having the longest freeze-up, I believe, in the history of television.

00:21:13.000 This may be a record breaker.

00:21:15.000 No joke.

00:21:17.000 Is that a category in Tennessee?

00:21:19.000 I'm just watching this interview, and he knows that Michael Cohen and I blow your nose.

00:21:24.000 I'm going to go back to the Regency with Michael Cohen.

00:21:27.000 Listen for a second.

00:21:28.000 Just listen for a function.

00:21:29.000 Listen to this.

00:21:30.000 And I'm going to spend the weekend with Michael Cohen.

00:21:34.000 And the best.

00:21:34.000 Michael Cohen.

00:21:35.000 Donald Trump.

00:21:37.000 Ivanca Trump.

00:21:38.000 I'm spending the weekend hanging out with Michael Cohen, and there's a lot going on.

00:21:45.000 And you've disrespected him and his family, and there's a lot going on.

00:21:50.000 So if he gets to sleep, that's good enough for me.

00:21:53.000 Tom, you are going to spend the weekend with Michael Cohen, the president's former attorney.

00:21:57.000 And I have to say Michael Cohen.

00:21:58.000 So one person at a time, Felix Sater, all these people that were friends of him, and I've got one person at a time, people from Trump's work.

00:22:07.000 Did Michael Cohen tell you specifically that he is working with the authorities?

00:22:15.000 This is what happened with Michael J. Knowles.

00:22:17.000 He said, what exact evidence do you have? 0.70

00:22:19.000 And the left is so used to Facebook bubble talking that they just have to say Trump is a Nazi.

00:22:25.000 Speaking of which, that just reminded me, you've got to see this meme. 0.54

00:22:28.000 Did you know that Hitler ate food?

00:22:33.000 Well, I just saw a picture of Joe Rogan, Ben Shapiro, Sam Harris, Jordan Peterson, all eating food.

00:22:45.000 If you need any more evidence that the intellectual dark web are Nazis, look at these two pictures.

00:22:54.000 All dogs are mammals.

00:22:56.000 All cats are mammals.

00:22:58.000 Therefore, all dogs are cats.

00:23:01.000 I didn't graduate junior high.

00:23:03.000 I don't understand how logic works.

00:23:06.000 This is literally a joke.

00:23:08.000 We used to joke around.

00:23:08.000 We say, well, Hitler used toilet paper.

00:23:10.000 I used toilet paper.

00:23:11.000 Am I a Nazi?

00:23:12.000 Hitler drank water. 0.77

00:23:14.000 Donald Trump drinks water.

00:23:15.000 I know you think I'm kidding, but go back.

00:23:17.000 That meme's a real meme.

00:23:18.000 Occupy Democrats, put that out.

00:23:22.000 We're not starting down the road to fascism.

00:23:25.000 We're already several steps along the way.

00:23:28.000 And then they steal Paul Joseph Watson's.

00:23:29.000 Let that sink in.

00:23:31.000 Let what sink in?

00:23:33.000 That Hitler had dinners? 0.59

00:23:36.000 I was aware.

00:23:39.000 You know who else ate dinners?

00:23:41.000 All humans on Earth since the day, day one.

00:23:47.000 Actually, before day one, when we were monkeys, we had dinner.

00:23:50.000 I bet you that monkeys would sit around sort of a flat rock where they could smash mangoes and stuff.

00:23:56.000 So even before we were human beings, we were having dinners together.

00:24:04.000 Nazis ate food.

00:24:06.000 That's a winner right there, boy.

00:24:08.000 You really.

00:24:09.000 I feel like the left has reached the apex.

00:24:12.000 Like, I wanted to talk about this later.

00:24:15.000 The interrupting people at dinner.

00:24:18.000 Did I send you those clips?

00:24:20.000 I don't see them here.

00:24:21.000 I don't think so.

00:24:22.000 Oh, poops.

00:24:23.000 We'll dig those up.

00:24:24.000 But the interrupting people at dinner thing, I think, is over.

00:24:29.000 There's two stories, but you can look them up while we show this while I talk.

00:24:34.000 There's Jennifer Rubin, who said on MSNBC that Sarah Huckabee Sanders should be harassed every time she goes in public in perpetuity for the rest of her life.

00:24:47.000 90-year-old Sarah Huckabee Sanders, as she's going to see her night in shining armor on Golden Pond, as she steps out for a brunch with her young great-granddaughter, they should go, hey, Sarah, you f ⁇ ing. 1.00

00:25:07.000 You ruined America, you bitch. 1.00

00:25:10.000 Oh, please, I'm just trying to get some sassafras and an old-time Tom Collins. 1.00

00:25:18.000 F you, pshh, bitch. 1.00

00:25:21.000 Ah, it burns my eyes. 1.00

00:25:23.000 The alcohol is burning my cataracts.

00:25:26.000 Too bad.

00:25:27.000 You worked for Trump 60 years ago.

00:25:32.000 So there's that clip.

00:25:33.000 And then there's also this annoying punky broad. 0.99

00:25:39.000 I'd like to speak to the manager haircut is no longer a Bob.

00:25:42.000 It's now a half mohawk.

00:25:44.000 She goes up to the EPA guy, Scott Pruitt.

00:25:49.000 He's eating food, as Hitler did, by the way. 0.97

00:25:53.000 And she goes up to him and implores him to resign.

00:25:58.000 She would like him to Resign because he doesn't support climate change, and that's going to make the air bad.

00:26:04.000 And it's going to kill her child.

00:26:07.000 She brought over her child and made it clear to him, by the way, that her child loves animals and air.

00:26:14.000 We know how kids are with air.

00:26:16.000 Hey, I don't know how many Christmases I've just given my son a big bag of air.

00:26:22.000 They love animals and air.

00:26:24.000 And Scott Pruitt is taking away animals and air from the children.

00:26:29.000 Have you got Jennifer Rubin?

00:26:32.000 Let's see Scott Pruitt first.

00:26:33.000 Let's see him first.

00:26:35.000 I know you think I forgot Tom Arnold.

00:26:37.000 Don't worry.

00:26:38.000 He's still on the hook.

00:26:39.000 Scott Pruitt, blah, blah, blah.

00:26:40.000 introduce my two-year-old.

00:26:41.000 Hi.

00:26:42.000 I just wanted to urge you to resign because of what you're doing to the environment in our country.

00:26:47.000 This is my son.

00:26:49.000 He loves animals.

00:26:50.000 He loves clean air.

00:26:52.000 He loves clean water.

00:26:53.000 Meanwhile, you're slashing the carbon standards for carbon trucks for the benefits of I guess I love air.

00:26:59.000 You've been paying for tonight to say that you see condo that's connected to an energy while approving their dirt sand pipeline.

00:27:10.000 Hi, my friend.

00:27:10.000 She's written notes to harassment.

00:27:13.000 Harassed notes.

00:27:17.000 Can you just pause it here?

00:27:18.000 I have a big problem with Scott Pruitt.

00:27:20.000 Have you ever heard of humor?

00:27:22.000 Have you ever heard of having some fun?

00:27:24.000 He just sits there, catatonic, and then immediately leaves the restaurant with his security after she's done her little diatribe.

00:27:31.000 How about what is going on with your hair?

00:27:34.000 Or what specifically do you want to present to me about climate change that you don't think I'm getting?

00:27:42.000 Or your son loves air?

00:27:45.000 Or just focus on that.

00:27:46.000 Your son loves air.

00:27:47.000 I just want to get that for the record.

00:27:48.000 Your son, right there, your two-year-old loves air.

00:27:52.000 Is that what you're saying?

00:27:52.000 Just keep repeating that and repeating that.

00:27:54.000 You don't have to be subtle.

00:27:55.000 I always say this to kids too.

00:27:56.000 Like if you're getting bullied and someone says something, you don't need to have the wittiest insult.

00:28:00.000 Just say f ⁇ you and shove him. 1.00

00:28:03.000 That's it.

00:28:04.000 They've already made it clear that they want conflict.

00:28:07.000 So don't go, oh yeah, well, you look like something the cat dragged in and your mom's a cat lady. 1.00

00:28:12.000 So that, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:28:14.000 Wit is for debates.

00:28:16.000 Just be rude.

00:28:18.000 And she's being rude.

00:28:19.000 She drew first blood. 0.96

00:28:20.000 You're not going to get fired.

00:28:21.000 As long as you don't say, you know, a racial epithet or get really petty and talk about her weight or something.

00:28:26.000 There's so much there to make fun of.

00:28:28.000 Is this the new manager's hair?

00:28:29.000 What's going on with your hair?

00:28:30.000 Are you punk?

00:28:32.000 Isn't punk dead?

00:28:33.000 What year is it?

00:28:33.000 I mean, there's a million things you could do there.

00:28:35.000 Why do you people love using your children as weapons?

00:28:38.000 Why would you drag a two-year-old into this?

00:28:40.000 Why are you picking a fight in a restaurant with a baby on your hip? 0.97

00:28:45.000 Anyway, I really think it's the death of humor.

00:28:48.000 Maybe that's what attracts politicians, though, to that field.

00:28:52.000 Because maybe humor and politics are mutually exclusive.

00:28:57.000 Because they do seem like a particularly humorless bunch, right?

00:29:00.000 Let's check out Jennifer Rubin, who is just a vindictive, bad person. 1.00

00:29:09.000 She smells of arsenic. 0.99

00:29:10.000 Like, she's acrid.

00:29:11.000 You know what I mean?

00:29:12.000 She leaves a bad taste in your mouth, literally.

00:29:16.000 She seems so hateful.

00:29:17.000 There's one point that they miss, however, and that is you have to do what is most effective.

00:29:25.000 I don't think what's most effective is throwing Sarah Huckabee Sanders out of a restaurant. 1.00

00:29:30.000 I wouldn't serve her either, frankly.

00:29:32.000 But what's most successful is getting a million people on the street to protest.

00:29:37.000 Wait a minute.

00:29:37.000 So let's read a million people on the street.

00:29:39.000 Did you see that?

00:29:41.000 There was a computer glitch that gave her a Hitler mustache. 0.75

00:29:45.000 What the hell is going on here?

00:29:47.000 That can't be on purpose, right?

00:29:49.000 Is that on purpose?

00:29:50.000 Why does Sarah Huckabee Sanders have a Hitler mustache in the glitch? 1.00

00:29:54.000 Of all the things the glitch can do, it takes a piece of her hair and brings it over to the front of her face. 0.60

00:30:03.000 Does this mean God is a Democrat?

00:30:06.000 Does this mean that computers are left-wing? 1.00

00:30:09.000 Are computers stupid? 1.00

00:30:12.000 Is technology as dumb? 1.00

00:30:14.000 Does technology think that you're racist if you eat dinner because Hitler ate dinner? 0.99

00:30:19.000 Look what the glitch is doing.

00:30:21.000 Hey, glitches, come over to our side.

00:30:23.000 We need you.

00:30:25.000 That's bizarre.

00:30:26.000 Anyway, keep going.

00:30:29.000 Million people on the street to protest.

00:30:31.000 So let's redirect all of that good, pent-up energy to something that makes a difference.

00:30:37.000 Let's get a million people to go to Maine or a million people to go to Alaska and start putting pressure on those senators. 1.00

00:30:44.000 So it's perfectly civil to do that.

00:30:46.000 No one's telling them to be violent protesters.

00:30:49.000 But we're not going to let these people go through life unscathed.

00:30:52.000 Sarah Huckabee has no right to live a life of no fuss, no muss after lying to the press, after inciting. 1.00

00:30:59.000 Ancridge Airport is flooded with one million arrivals.

00:31:02.000 And I think that's a life sentence, Franklin.

00:31:04.000 Oh, sorry.

00:31:05.000 I'm blabbing here.

00:31:06.000 Go back.

00:31:06.000 Sorry, like 20 seconds.

00:31:08.000 So she says, don't harass Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

00:31:10.000 It's not effective.

00:31:11.000 Well, I wouldn't serve her.

00:31:13.000 And then she changes her mind at the end and goes, actually, you know what?

00:31:15.000 Harass her for the rest of her life.

00:31:16.000 Sarah Huckabee has no right to live a life of no fuss, no muss, after lying to the press, after inciting against the press. 1.00

00:31:24.000 These people should be made uncomfortable.

00:31:27.000 And I think that's a life sentence, frankly.

00:31:31.000 Okay.

00:31:32.000 Let's stay tuned.

00:31:33.000 Follow Sarah.

00:31:34.000 Follow her career.

00:31:35.000 Find her retirement home. 1.00

00:31:37.000 Let's harass that 92-year-old bitch in whatever, 30 years. 1.00

00:31:44.000 Sorry, I hope I got your age right. 1.00

00:31:46.000 Wait, that's not right.

00:31:48.000 Sorry, 50 years.

00:31:48.000 Let's say 50 years.

00:31:50.000 Sorry, Sarah.

00:31:51.000 Yeah, here's more proof that comedians and politicians are mutually exclusive, are oil and water.

00:31:59.000 Here's a comedian, Tom Arnold, who probably was funny at some point, trying to be political on CNN.

00:32:06.000 I told you I wouldn't forget.

00:32:08.000 agreed to cooperate with the authorities in their investigation I wouldn't.

00:32:21.000 12 seconds.

00:32:24.000 This is too important to me to F around.

00:32:28.000 And you know the word I'm talking about.

00:32:30.000 And I have a five-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter at that son of a chocolate show.

00:32:35.000 And we're having fun with these Trump tapes.

00:32:38.000 But this is serious to me, Poppy.

00:32:40.000 And I'm not effing around.

00:32:43.000 I'm asking you to say that.

00:32:43.000 No, I'm not saying you think I am.

00:32:45.000 Did Michael Cohen tell you specifically, really just yes or no?

00:32:49.000 he is cooperating with the authorities should charges be brought.

00:33:02.000 Did he tell you?

00:33:16.000 Do you not want to answer the question?

00:33:19.000 40 seconds.

00:33:22.000 Okay.

00:33:22.000 Dude, call Guinness.

00:33:25.000 40 seconds.

00:33:28.000 That's got to be a world record.

00:33:32.000 He's high.

00:33:33.000 Thank you for being here, Tom Arnold.

00:33:35.000 Thank you.

00:33:35.000 Appreciate it.

00:33:36.000 Oh, my God.

00:33:37.000 World's worst interview.

00:33:39.000 40 seconds silence.

00:33:41.000 Howard Stern talks about this, how back in radio days, three seconds of dead air could ruin your entire career.

00:33:47.000 And Stern's contention is that whole like, hey, come MS, we got all kinds of fun stuff.

00:33:51.000 All right, let's keep rocking and rolling.

00:33:54.000 His theory, and I like the theory, is that all this extra hullabaloo that AM radio DJs jam in.

00:34:00.000 They're like, we're going to be rocking and rolling.

00:34:02.000 All right, guys, I love all of you.

00:34:03.000 Don't ever change, not your socks, nothing.

00:34:05.000 Okay, it was fun.

00:34:06.000 It was real, but it was not real fun.

00:34:07.000 Okay.

00:34:08.000 Like all this extraneous verbiage that doesn't help the point came from this paralyzing fear of dead air.

00:34:15.000 And that paralyzing fear, that worst case scenario was three seconds.

00:34:20.000 Not 40.

00:34:21.000 40 is one for the books, Tommy.

00:34:24.000 40 seconds.

00:34:26.000 All right, speaking of 40 seconds, this intro is going awfully long.

00:34:31.000 What do we got?

00:34:32.000 Fingers bitten off.

00:34:33.000 We got Tom Arnold.

00:34:34.000 We got Scott Pruitt.

00:34:36.000 I think that trend is over.

00:34:38.000 I think the idea of harassing people in restaurants, I don't think we're going to see it anymore.

00:34:46.000 Also in the news, we have you can save your loved ones tattoos.

00:34:54.000 Now, my entire back.

00:34:56.000 My entire back is a jellyfish with a skull head under the words destruction creates.

00:35:03.000 And it is, the jellyfish is digital, like the Mantronics album.

00:35:10.000 And he's eating Chunkai Shek and Fidel Castro. 1.00

00:35:13.000 So if you were to frame that, it would be as big as this flag, basically, you know, with all the extensions and everything.

00:35:18.000 That's kind of macabre.

00:35:20.000 I don't know how I feel about this. 0.76

00:35:21.000 It seems like very Nazi mangela Jewish lampshade. 0.78

00:35:27.000 Doesn't this seem kind of wrong? 0.58

00:35:29.000 But it's a free market.

00:35:31.000 And if everyone consents to it, who am I?

00:35:34.000 Everyone concedes to it.

00:35:36.000 Is that the term?

00:35:36.000 Concedes?

00:35:37.000 Yeah.

00:35:37.000 Check out this concept.

00:35:39.000 Cutting off your dead dad's tattoo.

00:35:44.000 What do you think of this, Dave?

00:35:47.000 Not on board with it.

00:35:48.000 Not on board?

00:35:48.000 No.

00:35:49.000 There's my dad's arm.

00:35:53.000 There's part of that's bacon slice is my dad.

00:35:57.000 There's my dad's calf.

00:36:01.000 He died of someone removing his tattoo.

00:36:07.000 There's some pandemires my mom died of having removed.

00:36:12.000 You have to wait till they're dead.

00:36:14.000 Imagine that. 0.95

00:36:15.000 That's your job.

00:36:16.000 It's like with an X-Acto knife, a scalpel just removing cadavers tattoos.

00:36:22.000 Oh, that one got stuck on a mole.

00:36:24.000 Oh, there we go.

00:36:25.000 Got it off.

00:36:26.000 Ooh, it smells. 0.80

00:36:27.000 Women aren't as good with tattoos. 1.00

00:36:29.000 You know? 0.94

00:36:30.000 Women aren't as good with tattoo choices. 1.00

00:36:33.000 Like they have pandas. 0.85

00:36:34.000 Yeah, well, they're really into niceness.

00:36:37.000 Tattoos, the problem with women in tattoos is the whole point, that's enough. 1.00

00:36:41.000 The whole point is like, I'm a sailor.

00:36:43.000 I lived in Indonesia and I killed a man and I had a prostitute there and I drank a bottle of whiskey and I lost my money gambling. 0.98

00:36:49.000 That's what it's supposed to mean.

00:36:51.000 Now, those of us who got tattoos in the 80s and stuff, we were mimicking the intense masculinity of sailors.

00:36:58.000 And it was a pale, it paled in comparison, but it was an homage. 0.99

00:37:02.000 But then women will get a giant sailboat across their tits. 1.00

00:37:05.000 And you look at it and you go, you're not a sailor. 1.00

00:37:09.000 That's gross. 1.00

00:37:10.000 And by the way, you have a cavernous pussy. 1.00

00:37:13.000 Which is a compliment. 1.00

00:37:15.000 This is the late, feminists are out of control. 1.00

00:37:17.000 So feminists have gone from empowering women and saying something nice, like a housewife is a wonderful thing to be and mothers are gifted and what great women moms are. 1.00

00:37:26.000 They've given up on that.

00:37:27.000 They want male power. 1.00

00:37:29.000 So what do men brag about? 1.00

00:37:31.000 They brag about having large penises. 1.00

00:37:33.000 Okay, I don't like that because it involves a penis. 1.00

00:37:36.000 But how could I say big penis have that cachet, but relate it to women? 1.00

00:37:42.000 I know big vaginas, but that sounds gross. 1.00

00:37:45.000 How about cavernous pussy? 1.00

00:37:48.000 Yes, cavernous pussy energy is the new hot thing with feminists. 1.00

00:37:54.000 They are proud if having sex with them feels like sticking your dick out of a window or maybe throwing a wiener down a hallway. 1.00

00:38:01.000 Cavernous pussy energy is notable in its vulnerability, says Cosmopolitan. 1.00

00:38:07.000 This is a magazine that women and young girls read seriously. 1.00

00:38:12.000 There is no backlash to having a huge dick, but still, uninformed pockets of the world still wrongly believe that having a loose vagina is an insult. 1.00

00:38:20.000 It is. 1.00

00:38:21.000 With CPE, you have the swagger to welcome challenges most would be afraid of.

00:38:27.000 I see this so often with women writing. 0.96

00:38:30.000 There's no point.

00:38:31.000 It's all just floral energy.

00:38:33.000 There's no actual words that have any kind of point.

00:38:37.000 It's just like a bunch of adjectives stuck in front of a noun, almost like random poetry.

00:38:44.000 You're cool with showing up at your ex's wedding without a date because you don't need a buffer.

00:38:48.000 You show up to a date without wearing any makeup and with your hair in a messy bun because you know you can still reel your date back to your place without the extra stress of applying eyeliner. 0.99

00:38:57.000 That is a description of someone who has cavernous Pussy energy. 1.00

00:39:00.000 And then in the article, every person they use as an example of someone with cavernous pussy energy is a man. 1.00

00:39:08.000 Like that guy from Sex in the City has cavernous pussy energy. 1.00

00:39:13.000 Keep going. 1.00

00:39:15.000 They show Michael Shea from SNL. 1.00

00:39:17.000 Yeah, the black guy from SNL has cavernous pussy energy. 1.00

00:39:21.000 Like, what the hell is going on here? 1.00

00:39:24.000 Here's another thing, too, I was thinking about.

00:39:25.000 We're out of time.

00:39:27.000 But this whole like abolish ICE thing, I'm at the point now with the left, just like with CPE, I don't get it.

00:39:34.000 I don't know what they're talking about.

00:39:36.000 You don't want immigration enforcement, so you will abolish them?

00:39:41.000 Okay, are there any border guards?

00:39:43.000 Are there borders at all?

00:39:45.000 Okay, there are none.

00:39:46.000 All right, well, people are going to come through the border then.

00:39:50.000 Don't you understand?

00:39:52.000 Okay, how?

00:39:53.000 You're fine with that.

00:39:54.000 All right.

00:39:54.000 How many can come through the border?

00:39:56.000 I don't, like, it's like saying we don't want doors on homes.

00:40:00.000 All right, well, people are going to get robbed.

00:40:01.000 Yeah, fine.

00:40:01.000 All right.

00:40:02.000 Well, how, like, we empty all homes.

00:40:04.000 Everyone's stuff is free?

00:40:05.000 I don't understand your scenario.

00:40:08.000 I understand when you say things like America's racist and we need affirmative action to counter it.

00:40:12.000 I at least get the premise there.

00:40:14.000 I understand where you're coming from.

00:40:16.000 I don't agree with you, but I understand your point or reparations.

00:40:19.000 I even understand.

00:40:20.000 This country, you think this country is built on slavery, that all our profits come from slavery.

00:40:24.000 You want to pay that back.

00:40:26.000 Got it.

00:40:27.000 Got it.

00:40:28.000 I do not get the abolish ice thing.

00:40:31.000 It's a total and utter mystery to me.

00:40:32.000 Anyway, we're out of time.

00:40:35.000 Let's look at our final video.

00:40:39.000 This is, I was talking earlier about hilarity and how rare it is and how Ricky Berwick has been touched by the gods.

00:40:46.000 Oh, I forgot to talk about these guys.

00:40:47.000 Lost boys, these kids in this Thai cave.

00:40:51.000 Can you show a picture of the situation they're in?

00:40:54.000 I get a panic attack just looking at this.

00:40:57.000 They are miles down, and that map shows blue, clear, blue water.

00:41:02.000 The water is as thick and black as coffee and muddy and moving.

00:41:08.000 There's motion there.

00:41:09.000 It's not just still waters that you could easily navigate.

00:41:13.000 It's muddy, moving water.

00:41:16.000 I think they're going to run out of oxygen. 1.00

00:41:18.000 So the answer with these boys, some idiot coach took them on a cave spelunking trip. 1.00

00:41:24.000 Hey, 12-year-old boys, you want to go spelunking through caves during rainy season? 1.00

00:41:29.000 So they did.

00:41:29.000 They're stuck there.

00:41:30.000 They're something like three miles down.

00:41:33.000 And the only options are wait till the end of the summer, early winter, October, for the water levels to go down.

00:41:42.000 Oh, good.

00:41:42.000 You got footage?

00:41:43.000 What's that?

00:41:44.000 People waiting outside.

00:41:45.000 Oh, they have footage of them in there.

00:41:46.000 How many of you?

00:41:48.000 13.

00:41:50.000 Brilliant.

00:41:51.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:53.000 They've been drinking water that drips down the cave, so they're not dehydrated, but they're starved.

00:41:58.000 And they brought them food.

00:42:04.000 No, it's not today.

00:42:07.000 It's interesting you hear white men, huh? 1.00

00:42:11.000 These evil white men. 0.97

00:42:13.000 Dr. Scooby divers who flew there to rescue them. 0.99

00:42:17.000 toxic masculinity.

00:42:25.000 What are the Thai divers?

00:42:28.000 Anyway, so they've got a rope system where they bring them food and stuff, but the options are wait till October or teach them all individually how to be master scuba divers.

00:42:39.000 Because you're not just a scuba diver, you're not just going like in a lagoon to look at exotic fish.

00:42:44.000 You're going into a coffee flood.

00:42:47.000 So you have to be an expert.

00:42:48.000 You can't panic too.

00:42:50.000 You can't panic.

00:42:50.000 It probably takes an hour of just.

00:42:53.000 And I scuba dive.

00:42:54.000 I have my license.

00:42:55.000 Dude, it's petrifying.

00:42:57.000 I wrote about this in my book.

00:42:58.000 It's like going to another planet.

00:42:59.000 Like I went down there.

00:43:00.000 I was 30 feet below. 0.99

00:43:03.000 And you can't go, holy shit, this is so freaky. 0.99

00:43:06.000 I'm panicking. 0.99

00:43:07.000 You have to breathe like Darth Vader as like a turtle comes by and goes, what's going on, Joe?

00:43:16.000 I thought I could take pictures.

00:43:17.000 I was freaking out too much to take pictures because there'd just be like a fish going, hi, I'm a fish you've never seen before.

00:43:22.000 What's up?

00:43:23.000 As you fly in outer space, then you look up and because it's so clear, this is in Mexico, I could see people two miles away, a mile away, also scuba diving, just floating.

00:43:35.000 It was like going to outer space just like that.

00:43:38.000 And I freaked out.

00:43:40.000 Now imagine being an 11-year-old little soccer kid and going through an hour of just pure, pure darkness.

00:43:49.000 Thank God we live in the US of A. Speaking of which, let's end the show, the July 4th Super Party Show, the Pro Independence Day weekend show, with just a random gem.

00:44:05.000 Some hilarious dude who was randomly just discovered at a game.

00:44:10.000 This guy doesn't do stand-up comedy.

00:44:11.000 He doesn't write funny movies.

00:44:13.000 He just makes all his friends and family laugh their heads off and has zero respect for the media.

00:44:19.000 Check it out.

00:44:35.000 But they get alone time, and I get a chance to be in Omaha.

00:44:39.000 Terry Powell.

00:44:43.000 I'm just going to let that sink in.

00:44:45.000 Now, I don't want to ruin his joke, but on the off chance you didn't totally grasp how unbelievably hilarious that was.

00:44:52.000 He said, the sacrifices we made to get here are amazing.

00:44:57.000 My wife's boyfriend sold his prosthetic leg so I could come here.

00:45:04.000 And he said, they get some alone time.

00:45:08.000 So her and her boyfriend who now has a stub and I get to come to Omaha and see the game.

00:45:14.000 I mean, he just barfed that out without hesitation.

00:45:16.000 The media fell for it.

00:45:19.000 My boyfriend saw this prosthetic leg.

00:45:23.000 I'm getting a tattoo of that guy. 0.99

00:45:24.000 And when I die, you can cut it off and frame it. 0.99

00:45:27.000 Who is this man? 0.96

00:45:29.000 We have to find This man, sir, you are hilarious.

00:45:34.000 You are so cool.

00:45:36.000 You sum up the American spirit, which is you're not better than me.

00:45:41.000 I don't revere you, person with a microphone.

00:45:44.000 I don't hand over my liberty to strangers and say, Go ahead, government, you handle it.

00:45:49.000 You seem to know more than I. No, you don't know more than I. You can't run my life.

00:45:54.000 Hey, media class.

00:45:55.000 Hey, government class.

00:45:56.000 You want to dictate how to run our worlds?

00:45:59.000 Get off my lawn.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 09, 2018

Ep 152 | The Lost Boys | Get Off My Lawn

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