Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 20, 2018


Ep 172 | Diss is Nuts | Get Off My Lawn


Episode Stats

Length

37 minutes

Words per Minute

169.54787

Word Count

6,375

Sentence Count

610

Misogynist Sentences

41

Hate Speech Sentences

74


Summary

Kevin and Ryan are back in the hot seat with a special guest, and it s cold in the deep, and they re talking about what it s like being a visible minority in the workplace and micro-racism, and how to deal with it.


Transcript

00:00:20.000 Oh, live from New York.
00:00:23.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.
00:00:29.000 What's all on a nigga's mind?
00:00:32.000 Working at dawn time.
00:00:35.000 It's so cold in the deep.
00:00:38.000 How the f do we supposed to keep peace?
00:00:41.000 What's all on in?
00:00:43.000 We're supposed to what?
00:00:45.000 Keep peace.
00:00:46.000 It's too cold to keep peace?
00:00:48.000 Something like that.
00:00:50.000 Why do you gang members keep killing each other?
00:00:51.000 uh...
00:00:53.000 'cause we're freezing go out a little for your homies Wait, I want to keep watching that.
00:01:02.000 You're not good at this.
00:01:07.000 This is terrible.
00:01:09.000 Again, this can't be the free market supporting this vocalist.
00:01:14.000 I suspect other means of income.
00:01:18.000 I think it's brilliant if you start a printing store in the hood, they always print stuff of dead folks.
00:01:25.000 And I would just be a millionaire.
00:01:27.000 That's one thing I can't get used to in the hood.
00:01:29.000 I live in the hood now.
00:01:30.000 I live in Harlem.
00:01:31.000 When they go to a funeral, they all have like ripped jeans on and a scarface t-shirt or something.
00:01:36.000 Someone's dead.
00:01:38.000 Put a suit on.
00:01:40.000 They're all carrying the casket in Yankees tees and stuff.
00:01:43.000 Yeah.
00:01:44.000 He would have liked it this way though.
00:01:48.000 We got a fun show for you.
00:01:48.000 Okay.
00:01:50.000 I'm going to devote almost this entire show to this video about being a visible minority in the workforce and how horrible it is.
00:01:57.000 Because people say things like, where are you from?
00:01:59.000 No, where are you from?
00:01:59.000 Detroit.
00:02:01.000 If you're Asian.
00:02:03.000 And I think it's a great example of how spoiled we are as a society.
00:02:07.000 Because now in 2018, when people complain, it's like someone asked me where I'm from.
00:02:13.000 Or I'm black and someone bought me fried chicken, assuming I'd like it.
00:02:16.000 Now, I happen to have really enjoyed it, but how did you know that I would like it?
00:02:21.000 All these microaggressions.
00:02:22.000 Michael Shea has a bit about that where he goes, someone's racist if they offer me fried chicken and watermelon.
00:02:29.000 That's a really nice racist.
00:02:31.000 And that's where we're at now.
00:02:32.000 Nice racists.
00:02:34.000 You're a race, Ryan.
00:02:36.000 I'm two different ones, yeah.
00:02:38.000 What's that like?
00:02:42.000 I feel like non-racial.
00:02:44.000 Like I've been on mushrooms before.
00:02:46.000 Can I say that?
00:02:47.000 Yeah.
00:02:48.000 My experience with Puerto Ricans is they're always cold.
00:02:51.000 Oh, my God.
00:02:51.000 Kind of cold in the D. So in July, they'll have like a windbreaker on in a hat.
00:02:55.000 Yeah, and when you get hot, you get real hot.
00:02:56.000 But I mean, usually I'm cold.
00:02:58.000 My knees get very cold very quick.
00:02:58.000 You're right.
00:03:02.000 That's what it's like to be Puerto Rican.
00:03:03.000 Yeah, your knees are just.
00:03:04.000 And what about any of those Japanese smart points?
00:03:07.000 Are you smart at all?
00:03:08.000 Well, I think, yeah, I have what.
00:03:10.000 No, but I have a lot of the...
00:03:14.000 I respect my elders, and I'll be weird.
00:03:18.000 You respect your elders.
00:03:21.000 Yeah, I'm kind of like you, too.
00:03:22.000 My mom was a hot chick, a blown bimbo.
00:03:25.000 Same.
00:03:26.000 She's smart now, but when my dad married her and she was making me, she was just like a hot chick.
00:03:30.000 He got the modest girl because he was the tough guy.
00:03:32.000 And he's smart.
00:03:33.000 So I'm half smart, half bimbo.
00:03:35.000 Half hot.
00:03:36.000 And you're half Japanese, half Puerto Rican.
00:03:37.000 You're probably similar.
00:03:38.000 Yeah, my mom was kind of a hottie.
00:03:40.000 Well, your dad was a hottie, though.
00:03:42.000 Yeah, he pulled in the Puerto Rican.
00:03:43.000 Ryan's dad was a Japanese hairdresser.
00:03:46.000 I'm getting my hair cut for this show because you hate it so much when I go to visit him.
00:03:46.000 Still is.
00:03:52.000 Do you know how much sex straight hairdressers get?
00:03:54.000 Probably a lot.
00:03:55.000 Infinity.
00:03:56.000 Yeah.
00:03:57.000 In fact, they don't like it.
00:03:58.000 They'd like a break.
00:04:00.000 Yeah.
00:04:01.000 I saw this graffiti in Israel and it said, my d ⁇ is broken.
00:04:06.000 What's the Tinder?
00:04:08.000 My d is broken, Tinder.
00:04:10.000 I want love.
00:04:11.000 In Tel Aviv, there's so much sex going on that men are crying because they don't want it anymore.
00:04:18.000 It's too much.
00:04:19.000 That's pretty cool.
00:04:21.000 And in Israel, apparently, my is broken is sort of like another way of saying I've had enough.
00:04:25.000 It's like an old phrase.
00:04:27.000 But yeah, those guys get too laid, poor kids.
00:04:31.000 All right, what do we got on the show today?
00:04:32.000 Yeah, that's all we have.
00:04:33.000 No guests, no nothing.
00:04:35.000 But before we get to that, I thought I would bring up some funny things.
00:04:39.000 Like this Obama.
00:04:44.000 This is from ages ago, but it's been bothering me ever since.
00:04:48.000 Man, getting on my nerves lately.
00:04:51.000 Man, what the you mean 3.5 billion people are annoying you recently?
00:04:58.000 What is he talking about?
00:05:00.000 Actually, part of me, I'm so vain that part of me thinks he's talking about proud boys.
00:05:07.000 Because one of the reasons people hate our group is that the ethos of the left forever has been, look, I know you're a white male.
00:05:15.000 Just apologize.
00:05:16.000 Just say I'm an American or a Western male.
00:05:18.000 Just say, look, I had slavery.
00:05:21.000 I killed all the Indians.
00:05:22.000 I'm a horrible person.
00:05:23.000 I live in this big champagne bath of privilege.
00:05:27.000 And I feel terrible about it.
00:05:28.000 And I want to fix it.
00:05:29.000 And I'm so sorry.
00:05:30.000 And I suck.
00:05:31.000 And that's been sort of accepted.
00:05:32.000 It's like, all right, you screwed up, but we'll forgive you.
00:05:35.000 And then we come along and go, nah, no, none of that is true.
00:05:38.000 And I don't feel bad at all.
00:05:40.000 In fact, I'm kind of jazzed about all the awesome stuff we've done.
00:05:45.000 I'm kind of jazzed.
00:05:47.000 If you want to bring up slavery, I'm kind of jazzed we ended it.
00:05:50.000 You call me a Nazi?
00:05:51.000 No, my guys killed the Nazis.
00:05:54.000 So I'm pretty impressed with everything we've made.
00:05:58.000 Like this beer can, like this aluminum, like the refrigeration that does it, like the AC that's keeping this beer from getting too hot.
00:06:06.000 The Carrier brothers in America invented air conditioning.
00:06:12.000 And just air conditioning alone, people should be screaming, oh, you look like the dudes that invented air conditioning.
00:06:18.000 Thank you.
00:06:19.000 I feel like I should be walking down the street going, I know, that wasn't me, but they did look like me.
00:06:23.000 Thank you.
00:06:24.000 It's so normal in my office.
00:06:26.000 It's like 70 degrees and I can work all summer and be fine.
00:06:29.000 Okay, I have to get home.
00:06:31.000 Will you take it easy?
00:06:32.000 You're just so awesome and all the stuff you made and the Industrial Revolution and separating church and state and Christianity.
00:06:39.000 You rock.
00:06:41.000 Okay.
00:06:41.000 Thank you, God.
00:06:44.000 And I love your MAGA hat.
00:06:45.000 I love that you support the president because he's like the most anti-government president we've ever had and the economy is moving.
00:06:51.000 Okay.
00:06:54.000 So many compliments.
00:06:56.000 It's like being catcalled for my Western accomplishments.
00:07:00.000 But no, no, you just get, you're evil.
00:07:04.000 You're a man.
00:07:05.000 Men are getting on my nerves recently.
00:07:08.000 I think he did this in Africa.
00:07:11.000 And he said, we need more women.
00:07:13.000 You know, there are a lot of women in politics and in the government in Africa, especially in the Congo, mostly because the men were dead.
00:07:23.000 The Hutsis and the Tutsis and the Zulus and the Wulu massacred each other.
00:07:28.000 So yeah, there's a disproportionate number of women getting involved because men are dead in giant, horrible mass graves.
00:07:36.000 Have you found it yet?
00:07:37.000 I'm kind of stalling for you.
00:07:38.000 I'm on my nerves lately.
00:07:41.000 Don't you hate his voice?
00:07:42.000 In particular, by the way, I want you to get more involved because...
00:07:51.000 What does that mean?
00:07:52.000 Involved in what?
00:07:55.000 Action movies, economics, math?
00:07:58.000 Get more involved.
00:08:00.000 I guess he means politics.
00:08:01.000 He wants more female politicians.
00:08:03.000 Aren't we drowning in female politicians?
00:08:05.000 They're everywhere.
00:08:07.000 And they suck.
00:08:09.000 Every time you see a problem like Benghazi, you go look it up and you see Charlene Lamb and Hillary Clinton and all these women wrecking it.
00:08:18.000 I think politics is a man's game because it's about conflict and deciding, I guess we're going to have to have a thousand young men die over there.
00:08:25.000 It's the lesser two evils.
00:08:27.000 Most women would go, I don't want to do any of that.
00:08:30.000 I don't want to kill children.
00:08:31.000 And you go, sometimes kids got to die.
00:08:34.000 Like World War II.
00:08:35.000 Take it away, Barak.
00:08:41.000 Men have been getting on my nerves lately.
00:08:43.000 I mean, I just, every day I read the newspaper.
00:08:47.000 What's going on with his arm?
00:08:49.000 Brothers, what's wrong with you guys?
00:08:50.000 I mean, what's wrong with us?
00:08:52.000 I mean, we're violent.
00:08:52.000 All right.
00:08:54.000 We're bullying.
00:08:55.000 Just pause.
00:08:56.000 And by the way, when you pause, don't go full screen me.
00:08:58.000 Leave me short.
00:08:59.000 What the hell is he talking about?
00:09:01.000 And what is wrong with bullying?
00:09:03.000 And what's wrong with violence?
00:09:05.000 Is he saying that we just go and shoot people in the head?
00:09:08.000 I mean, some people do.
00:09:09.000 MS-13 usually.
00:09:10.000 But is he saying that we just like can't wait to brawl in every bar?
00:09:15.000 I don't understand him.
00:09:16.000 I think these guys, they get to this level with platitudes where they just open their mouth and they say things like, we want you to be the most yourself you can be and never get othered.
00:09:28.000 And you're like, I understand the sentiment there.
00:09:31.000 It doesn't mean anything here on earth.
00:09:33.000 You're just saying a bunch of nice words.
00:09:35.000 Bullies are bad?
00:09:37.000 Yeah, got it.
00:09:37.000 I've seen Pee Wee Herman.
00:09:39.000 I'm familiar with the concept that bullies are bad.
00:09:43.000 We're violent.
00:09:45.000 Men, half the population is violent.
00:09:47.000 What are you talking about?
00:09:49.000 I like the mosaic in the background, though.
00:09:52.000 Keep going.
00:09:56.000 You know, just not handling our violence.
00:09:59.000 What does that mean?
00:10:01.000 So I think empowering more women on the continent right away is going to, I think, lead to some better policies.
00:10:08.000 This means nothing.
00:10:10.000 All right, that's enough.
00:10:11.000 Imagine you were a high school teacher and someone submitted that as an essay.
00:10:14.000 You'd go, this is garbage.
00:10:16.000 You haven't said anything.
00:10:17.000 What are you talking about?
00:10:18.000 Men are bullying?
00:10:20.000 Men are violent.
00:10:21.000 Women should get involved.
00:10:22.000 We'll be in better places.
00:10:24.000 I don't understand you, Barack.
00:10:27.000 I don't understand you, Barack.
00:10:33.000 Hello.
00:10:34.000 I often say racism doesn't exist.
00:10:37.000 Someone contradicts that by showing me a picture of the Klan, of which there are an infinitesimally small number of people.
00:10:44.000 And what they do, by the way, to thwart that is they just expand the definition of Klan and they throw Klan hoods on SCOTUS and say everyone's a white supremacist there.
00:10:54.000 See?
00:10:54.000 Now there's lots of them.
00:10:55.000 It's everyone who voted for Trump.
00:10:57.000 Racism is when you see someone's color or their race and you don't give them a chance.
00:11:04.000 You say that person must be like that.
00:11:07.000 There's no exceptions.
00:11:08.000 You can recognize patterns.
00:11:10.000 Everyone should recognize patterns.
00:11:12.000 But when you apply that pattern to an individual without giving them the chance to be the exception to the rule, you are a racist.
00:11:20.000 And that happens so incredibly rarely, it's irrelevant.
00:11:24.000 For every time you can show me the N-word, I'll show you someone being racist against a white person.
00:11:29.000 Yes, people notice when you're Asian or Indian, those two groups, those two ethnic groups are much more successful than whites.
00:11:36.000 So stop trying to tell me that racism is a thing just because a lot of black people are in prison.
00:11:41.000 That's not proof that racism exists.
00:11:44.000 I think there's a lot of black people in prison because welfare shattered the black family and you got all these fatherless kids getting up to no good with idle hands.
00:11:52.000 It's not a matter of some evil white man going, let's put the Negroes in jail.
00:12:00.000 So here is a video of what it's like to be at work when you're a person of color.
00:12:06.000 And I firmly believe it's a great example of how totally irrelevant racism is.
00:12:11.000 If these are your problems, then you don't have problems.
00:12:14.000 All right, what if we treated white coworkers the way we treat minority coworkers?
00:12:18.000 So just already right there, you are talking about Asians, Indians, and blacks, basically.
00:12:26.000 Two of those groups make way more money than your average white person.
00:12:31.000 Already this argument is crap, but go ahead.
00:12:34.000 And Hispanics.
00:12:39.000 I feel like feathers.
00:12:41.000 So limp.
00:12:42.000 Where are you from?
00:12:44.000 Stop.
00:12:44.000 So you got that first one?
00:12:46.000 It is, people touch my black hair.
00:12:49.000 You would have to be the biggest yokel, rural hick old lady to go up to a black person at Work and touch their hair.
00:12:49.000 All right?
00:13:01.000 All right?
00:13:02.000 And I'm sure it's happened.
00:13:03.000 In fact, it was good luck in the 50s to rub a little black kid's head.
00:13:07.000 That's not the end of the world.
00:13:08.000 Hey, in the early 90s, I was a dork environmentalist.
00:13:12.000 I had dreadlocks.
00:13:13.000 People touch them all the time.
00:13:16.000 It's this annoying.
00:13:17.000 It's not a big deal.
00:13:19.000 If you had a mustache that went out like that, people would want to touch it.
00:13:22.000 People are curious.
00:13:24.000 It's not an invasion of your privacy.
00:13:26.000 Well, it sort of is.
00:13:27.000 It's not a big invasion of your privacy.
00:13:29.000 And this whole like, ew, it feels limp.
00:13:31.000 No one does that.
00:13:32.000 The very, very few people who touch a black person's hair never go, eh, it feels gross.
00:13:39.000 It feels like steel wool.
00:13:41.000 It feels nappy.
00:13:42.000 I'm not a fan.
00:13:42.000 Inevitably, it's a silly, naive old lady doing it.
00:13:46.000 And right after, it's a compliment and it's exciting and I love you and you're exotic, whatever.
00:13:51.000 It's not treating you as an equal.
00:13:53.000 It is fetishizing you a little bit.
00:13:55.000 Big fucking deal.
00:13:57.000 Now, the next one we stepped on a little bit and it's some weird Asian homosexual pretending to be a white guy saying, where are you from?
00:14:05.000 Dude, this is the whole point of this whole video.
00:14:09.000 This is what annoys me with this whole video.
00:14:11.000 Asians are maybe 5% of the population.
00:14:13.000 Blacks are 14% of the population.
00:14:15.000 So people are curious about you when you don't represent a large portion of their life.
00:14:20.000 You know who else goes through this?
00:14:22.000 Very tall people.
00:14:24.000 6'6 people always get asked, do you play basketball?
00:14:28.000 How tall are you?
00:14:29.000 It annoys the crap out of them.
00:14:31.000 And every time I'm with a very tall person, I chastise the person asking them boring questions.
00:14:38.000 Albinos get boring questions.
00:14:41.000 People who are ethnically ambiguous, who are like half Spanish, half Asian, so they're like brown with Asian eyes.
00:14:48.000 They get asked that question.
00:14:50.000 I say a boot instead of about.
00:14:52.000 People always ask me, what are you, Canadian?
00:14:54.000 In fact, because I'm a white guy, it's easy to do.
00:14:56.000 It's fun to do.
00:14:57.000 People go, whatever, dude, aren't you Canadian?
00:15:00.000 You can have all the fun you want with the Canadians.
00:15:02.000 And by the way, I could not care less.
00:15:04.000 I was talking to Anthony Cumia about Saturday Night Fever and I go, the way Italians are portrayed in that movie is downright racist.
00:15:10.000 And he goes, I could not care less.
00:15:13.000 Yes, you're right.
00:15:14.000 And I think it's hilarious.
00:15:16.000 Imagine being antagonized by someone saying, where are you from?
00:15:20.000 And when they actually mean, what is your ethnic background?
00:15:22.000 I ask people their ethnic background all the time.
00:15:24.000 I want to know German, Irish, within whites.
00:15:27.000 I always want to know your ethnic background.
00:15:29.000 It says a lot.
00:15:30.000 It says if you can handle your booze, for example.
00:15:33.000 Go ahead.
00:15:34.000 Where are you from?
00:15:35.000 Philadelphia.
00:15:36.000 No, no, you know what I mean.
00:15:37.000 Like, where are you really, really from?
00:15:39.000 By the way, this has become a common joke with the left.
00:15:42.000 Like in Cobra Kai, they say the Ralph Macchio character says to the boyfriend, where are you from?
00:15:47.000 His daughter's boyfriend.
00:15:48.000 And he goes, Riverside.
00:15:50.000 And the guy goes, yeah.
00:15:53.000 Look, I know you were born here.
00:15:55.000 I'm sure your parents might have been born here.
00:15:57.000 We obviously mean, are you Chinese?
00:15:59.000 Are you Japanese?
00:16:00.000 Are you Korean?
00:16:00.000 No one's trying to decide what ship to send you on when we send you back home.
00:16:05.000 Korea and Japan and China have totally different cultures.
00:16:10.000 And I guarantee you, even if you're third generation Japanese, some of that Japanese culture affects your life.
00:16:16.000 You hang out with your grandparents.
00:16:18.000 It's a relevant question.
00:16:19.000 My Scottish heritage is all over my life.
00:16:23.000 My predilection for booze, my bad temper, my cheapness, my whole, you just made an enemy for life.
00:16:30.000 That's in my DNA.
00:16:31.000 It's worth asking about.
00:16:34.000 Go ahead.
00:16:35.000 Italy?
00:16:36.000 Get the f out.
00:16:37.000 I told you it wasn't Caucasia.
00:16:39.000 What's the deal with pomp spice?
00:16:41.000 What's the matter with that?
00:16:43.000 What's the matter with saying that?
00:16:44.000 That you thought the guy was Japanese, but he's Korean and the other guy was right.
00:16:49.000 Big, this is antagonism.
00:16:51.000 This is hell for you.
00:16:52.000 This is being lynched.
00:16:54.000 This is a life where there's segregated water fountains, where you can't get an education, where you literally have different rights.
00:17:02.000 This is not racism.
00:17:03.000 This is a slightly annoying and socially awkward co-worker.
00:17:08.000 And there's plenty of ways, by the way, to ask that question that isn't annoying.
00:17:13.000 I do it all the time, and I'm not annoying.
00:17:16.000 What's the deal with pumpkin spice lattes?
00:17:20.000 Okay, pause.
00:17:21.000 So that is, I guess, the equivalent of saying, what's the deal with grape juice?
00:17:28.000 Lower middle class, poor blacks, from lower middle class down, tend to have a disproportionate joy when it comes to grape juice.
00:17:39.000 That's a valid question.
00:17:41.000 I wouldn't ask it to a middle class or upper middle class or city water.
00:17:45.000 Poor black kids like to drink water with about seven tablespoons of sugar in it, which is the same amount of sugar as Coca-Cola.
00:17:53.000 It sounds disgusting, but I tried it.
00:17:54.000 It's actually really good.
00:17:56.000 What's with city water?
00:17:57.000 This is someone expressing a genuine curiosity about your culture, which they're slightly uncouth, I guess, but these are all microaggressions.
00:18:08.000 And what's the first part of the word microaggression?
00:18:11.000 Micro.
00:18:12.000 In other words, racism is this big.
00:18:16.000 What are you complaining about?
00:18:18.000 All right, so this one's a doozy.
00:18:19.000 Here's a black guy presenting something intelligent at work.
00:18:25.000 All right, who do we know that does hot yoga?
00:18:27.000 Oh no, that's not it.
00:18:28.000 David Ashley.
00:18:31.000 So you went to hot yoga.
00:18:34.000 First of all, the odds of a white person doing hot yoga are pretty high, especially in the ambitious workforce, especially white women in New York.
00:18:43.000 My wife does hot yoga, so he would have been correct if he said Gavin, Gavin's wife.
00:18:49.000 He would have got one of them right.
00:18:51.000 And black people have predilections for their own exercise, their own customs.
00:18:57.000 That's why we talk about black culture.
00:19:00.000 Why is there a gay parade if there's no such thing as things that gays tend to do, culture that gays tend to have?
00:19:06.000 In this day and age, black culture, gay culture is just anything that's good.
00:19:11.000 If it's bad, then you can't include it in the culture.
00:19:14.000 And as far as white culture goes, you can't even say those words.
00:19:17.000 White culture is evil.
00:19:19.000 In other words, if you want to find racism, look at the way people talk about whites.
00:19:23.000 And it's not this nice.
00:19:24.000 It's a lot harsher than do you do hot yoga.
00:19:27.000 It's white supremacy must die.
00:19:30.000 White people need to get to the back of the line.
00:19:32.000 Literally, at rallies, they'll be sent to the back of the crowd.
00:19:37.000 So you went to Harvard.
00:19:38.000 That's impressive.
00:19:39.000 Yeah, it is.
00:19:40.000 Did you go on a water polo scholarship?
00:19:42.000 La Crosse.
00:19:44.000 You're a legacy, right?
00:19:45.000 Yo.
00:19:46.000 Pause.
00:19:46.000 This is this is so she's asking a black guy if he went on a sports scholarship to a fancy school, right?
00:19:52.000 The anger here, if this happens, by the way, and big deal if it does.
00:19:57.000 And by the way, if it does, you better hope you weren't there on a sports scholarship because she got it right.
00:20:05.000 The real problem here is affirmative action.
00:20:08.000 You know, I've always said if you affirmative action black people into Harvard and Yale, then the black guy with the straight A's who deserves to be there is walking around knowing people are thinking he's an affirmative action hire.
00:20:20.000 So you've trivialized his accomplishments.
00:20:23.000 That's what I hate about affirmative action.
00:20:26.000 It makes the people who earn it less successful.
00:20:29.000 You've diluted their success.
00:20:32.000 And it's, by the way, it's the same with that whole, when I get on an elevator as a black man, I see women grab their purse.
00:20:40.000 And they don't do that with an Asian guy.
00:20:42.000 Yeah, because the women have noticed patterns and the odds of them being attacked by a black guy are higher than a Chinese guy.
00:20:48.000 So you know who you should be mad at?
00:20:50.000 Not her with the purse, not the system, but the black guys who created this statistic.
00:20:58.000 You should be mad at the black guys who stole purses and created that.
00:21:02.000 Or when you have mag rims, some fancy rims, and you're driving through a neighborhood and you get pulled over by the cops.
00:21:09.000 Get mad at the drug dealers that created this pattern that the cops inevitably noticed.
00:21:14.000 Don't get mad at people for noticing patterns.
00:21:17.000 Get mad at the people who generated the pattern in the first place.
00:21:20.000 Cross your legacy, right?
00:21:23.000 Yo, what's a Wayne Gretzky?
00:21:26.000 Pause.
00:21:27.000 So this woman is curious about a prominent figure in this person's community.
00:21:34.000 Who's Marcus Garvey?
00:21:35.000 What was all that about?
00:21:37.000 Wasn't he just saying blacks should go back to Africa?
00:21:39.000 Isn't that kind of racist?
00:21:41.000 I would never say that to a black person because of the culture we live in, but I think it's an interesting question, and I think it's an interesting topic of discussion.
00:21:48.000 But you're not allowed to have topics of discussion at work.
00:21:51.000 In fact, I would argue that the modern workplace has made black people into pariahs.
00:21:55.000 I guarantee you, if you're in the lunchroom and you're all sitting by the vending machine eating your stupid snacks and your microwave chickpeas and a black woman walks in, the jokes just go, And here's the thing.
00:22:07.000 What if that black woman is super funny and likes to riff?
00:22:11.000 You just ruined her fun.
00:22:13.000 You just made her into the elephant man with your stupid lawsuits and your culture of fear in the workplace.
00:22:19.000 They've done it to women in general, too.
00:22:21.000 We have these few Me Too women that say, like the New York Mets story, where she recorded a conversation, a private conversation, where two other guys were riffing, doing imitations of other people.
00:22:32.000 One of them said the word pussy.
00:22:34.000 She sent it to her boss and two major Mets spokesman guys, broadcasters, sportscasters, dudes, were fired.
00:22:42.000 So now everyone who works for the Mets is going to be petrified of women.
00:22:47.000 Now, if a woman shows up and she's funny and likes to riff and do imitations that may or may not include the word pussy, no one's going to want to do it with her.
00:22:55.000 They're going to want to avoid her like the plague.
00:22:57.000 And you know what else I'm seeing happen, by the way?
00:22:58.000 This is a little bit of a tangent because it's about women.
00:23:01.000 But I'm seeing guys secretly, never on the books, say, yeah, just don't hire women.
00:23:05.000 It's not worth the risk.
00:23:07.000 You're just begging for a lawsuit.
00:23:09.000 Find the most qualified guy.
00:23:11.000 So this need to enforce equality is actually sending us back in time and making us more sexist and likely more racist even.
00:23:22.000 Dame, Ashley, Ashley, Dame.
00:23:24.000 Oh, this one drives me together now?
00:23:26.000 Because I was thinking you guys would like to hit it off.
00:23:26.000 Yeah.
00:23:26.000 Right.
00:23:26.000 Yeah.
00:23:29.000 You know what I mean?
00:23:30.000 Because you're both white.
00:23:33.000 Baz.
00:23:35.000 No one has ever done that in the history of civilization.
00:23:40.000 No one, especially in 2018, would dare go up to two black people and say, hey, so you two, huh?
00:23:51.000 I would do it as a joke because I don't care about getting fired and I don't care about HR.
00:23:56.000 But no one goes up to two black people, not kidding, and says, whoa, African American, African-American.
00:24:05.000 You guys are probably going to get together, right?
00:24:07.000 Make little African-American babies.
00:24:09.000 Obviously, because you're both black.
00:24:12.000 What do you complain?
00:24:13.000 And this has never happened, but if it did, that's racism for you.
00:24:18.000 That's the horrible life you lead.
00:24:20.000 That's the suffering you must endure.
00:24:22.000 God, these pants look ridiculous.
00:24:24.000 I wear these pants in every video, and I have so much stuff in my pockets.
00:24:29.000 They make me look like a horse, like a mountie.
00:24:33.000 It's hard to find good pants these days, don't you think?
00:24:37.000 All right, go ahead.
00:24:38.000 And that's how I think we can improve next year.
00:24:41.000 This is what I was talking about earlier.
00:24:42.000 Black guys did a good seminar.
00:24:44.000 This is why affirmative action works, people.
00:24:47.000 All they need is an opportunity.
00:24:48.000 Pause.
00:24:49.000 If a white guy said that after a black guy did a good presentation, he would be so fired.
00:24:56.000 He would be thrown out of that workplace on his ass so fast.
00:25:01.000 Do you have any clue how much trouble that guy would get in?
00:25:04.000 You're fired.
00:25:05.000 You're done.
00:25:06.000 Hey, everyone.
00:25:07.000 This is why we needed to hire this guy because black people are capable of smart stuff.
00:25:13.000 You would, first of all, you'd have to be 90 years old to be that naive.
00:25:17.000 But even that 90-year-old would be done.
00:25:20.000 Donzel washing done.
00:25:24.000 Yeah.
00:25:25.000 And to be honest, you were pretty well spoken.
00:25:27.000 You were super articulate.
00:25:30.000 This is a pet peeve of mine, too.
00:25:33.000 A lot of black people in America, we have a segregation in this country, but it's voluntary segregation.
00:25:40.000 And black and white people tend to choose to be separate.
00:25:42.000 We're seeing this in college recently where blacks are saying, I want a separate graduation.
00:25:47.000 They are telling white people they have to go home on certain days.
00:25:50.000 There's even with the black and Hispanic tension in Southern California, on May Day, they're saying black people shouldn't even come to school because there's going to be a riot.
00:25:58.000 God forbid you wear A USA t-shirt on May Day.
00:26:02.000 That's begging for a fight.
00:26:03.000 So we have segregation here, but it's voluntary.
00:26:06.000 And I think a lot of it has to do with the left.
00:26:10.000 And because of that segregation, it's so intense that black people in America tend to have a different accent.
00:26:16.000 That's why when black people talk like me, they say, oh, you're the whitest black guy I've ever met, which bugs the crap out of me.
00:26:24.000 I hate when people say that.
00:26:26.000 Sometimes on the phone, if I'm talking to someone from the Bronx or East New York or the South, black people, I have trouble understanding them.
00:26:35.000 The Ebonic dialect is getting more and more distant from normal English.
00:26:41.000 So when a black guy talks like this, you notice it.
00:26:46.000 You mention it.
00:26:47.000 And by the way, it's good to have good diction and not speak in Aave African-American vernacular English.
00:26:54.000 In fact, there's a movie about it right now where a black guy has somehow managed to speak with David Cross's voice.
00:27:02.000 He has a middle-class Jewish guy's voice, and his life starts being successful.
00:27:06.000 So it is a thing when black people don't sound like black people.
00:27:11.000 It is unusual.
00:27:13.000 And someone dared to point it out.
00:27:17.000 Kick your ass.
00:27:18.000 What's the deal with this whole eat prey love thing?
00:27:21.000 It's tough out here for you.
00:27:23.000 Pause.
00:27:24.000 So someone noticed that black people tend to read a book.
00:27:27.000 Now, white people, white men don't read eat prey love.
00:27:30.000 Every white woman has read it.
00:27:32.000 I think my wife's read it.
00:27:33.000 It's a stupid book about some dumb bitch who abandoned her family to go find herself in India and go screw a bunch of dudes who she ended up marrying some Indian guy who ended up dumping her as soon as he got citizenship, I believe.
00:27:46.000 So it's an irritating book.
00:27:48.000 It's like Sex in the City.
00:27:49.000 It's like, ruin your life, become a feminist, let your ovaries dry up, don't be a mom.
00:27:54.000 And it's super empowering.
00:27:55.000 But it's worth asking white women, what the hell is with that book?
00:27:57.000 In fact, I would ask white women, what's that book?
00:28:00.000 I don't know what the black equivalent is of that book.
00:28:04.000 I don't really care.
00:28:05.000 But if I did, I think it's a totally valid question to ask a black person because the odds are pretty good they're familiar with it.
00:28:15.000 It's tough out here for your kind of people.
00:28:18.000 Come here.
00:28:19.000 Never happened ever.
00:28:21.000 Stops.
00:28:22.000 Now, I'm not going to fault these people for adding something for comedic effect.
00:28:27.000 You're trying to make an amusing video, right?
00:28:31.000 No white person has ever said it's tough out there for your people at work in any kind of major metropolis and hug them.
00:28:39.000 Now, someone with Down syndrome may have done that.
00:28:43.000 A 98-year-old woman who's suffering from dementia might have done that.
00:28:48.000 That's, and by the way, this is a nightmare for you.
00:28:52.000 Someone appreciating your suffering, which you won't shut up about, and hugging you, that's an aggression.
00:29:00.000 That's racism.
00:29:01.000 That's a horrible place to be.
00:29:02.000 It's like that comedian, what was it, Michael Shea, when he said to offer black people fried chicken or watermelon is racist.
00:29:09.000 And he goes, well, that's a pretty nice racist.
00:29:12.000 This is a pretty nice racist.
00:29:13.000 And look at the lips on the ear.
00:29:18.000 And what's the deal with casseroles?
00:29:20.000 You can't put casseroles in everything.
00:29:22.000 Everything's not a casserole.
00:29:24.000 Have you seen this?
00:29:25.000 If someone said that about collared greens or chitlins or some other black soul food that I'm not familiar with, they're obviously not coming at you with aggression.
00:29:37.000 They're saying, you can't put collared greens in everything.
00:29:40.000 That's the way jokey people talk.
00:29:42.000 It's called busting someone's balls a little bit.
00:29:45.000 I do it all the time and it gets done to me all the time.
00:29:48.000 People make fun of my looks.
00:29:49.000 My friends make fun of my looks.
00:29:51.000 My friends make fun of the way I talk.
00:29:52.000 My friends make fun of my heritage.
00:29:54.000 They make fun of Canada.
00:29:54.000 They make fun of Scotland.
00:29:55.000 They make fun of England.
00:29:57.000 Native Americans won't shut up joking about the other tribe and how I've got nothing to do with that tribe, ribbing each other all the time.
00:30:04.000 You go to a powwow and half the t-shirts say FBI, flat butt Indian.
00:30:08.000 They're making fun of the fact that they tend not to have an ass like Asian people.
00:30:14.000 That's called funny.
00:30:16.000 And what you're doing here with all these rules about how you can't talk about casseroles or black food, what you're doing there really is you're trying to kill jokes.
00:30:24.000 You're trying to kill riffing.
00:30:25.000 And that's ironic because it's in a comedy video.
00:30:28.000 So you're policing comedy while trying to make people laugh.
00:30:31.000 I'm not laughing.
00:30:32.000 I'm annoyed.
00:30:33.000 Asserol.
00:30:34.000 Have you seen her spite in front of Old Navy?
00:30:37.000 White on white crime is out of control.
00:30:40.000 Pause.
00:30:41.000 White on white crime is actually not out of control, but black on black crime is out of control.
00:30:46.000 Are you familiar with the south side of Chicago?
00:30:49.000 It's a major problem.
00:30:51.000 And black people and liberals are very happy to talk about the half dozen blacks that are unjustly shot by cops and to try to turn it into hundreds, if not thousands of blacks being hunted down by cops or sport.
00:31:06.000 They're happy to talk about that non-existent phenomenon, but the real phenomenon of, I can't remember the data now, but what wasn't it like 20 blacks a day?
00:31:16.000 Yeah, I think it's 20 blacks a day are murdered or some sort of homicide.
00:31:20.000 And about 18 of those are by other black people.
00:31:25.000 That's pretty relevant.
00:31:27.000 That is a self-imposed self-genocide.
00:31:31.000 I think it's an interesting topic.
00:31:32.000 It's a little bit heavy, but there is a strange phenomenon with black violence.
00:31:37.000 And these fights you see at Walmart, these fights you see at Chuck E. Cheese, you don't really see that with white people.
00:31:43.000 You might have a brawl at some Lullapalooza thing by the Porta-Potties, but it's not as common as the hundreds of videos from Chuck E. Cheese, from Walmart, from a Bodega.
00:31:57.000 What is that about?
00:31:58.000 That's a curious phenomenon.
00:31:59.000 Anthony Cumia got fired for bringing it up, but it's definitely a thing.
00:32:04.000 It's definitely worth discussing.
00:32:05.000 Have you noticed, by the way, they hate discussing actual patterns and they love discussing non-existent patterns.
00:32:14.000 Is that because someone is trying to purport some sort of myth?
00:32:18.000 This is what propagandists do.
00:32:20.000 They airbrush out the truth and then airbrush in a lie.
00:32:24.000 Exactly why the church needs to be involved.
00:32:27.000 Yeah, you're right.
00:32:28.000 Does nobody say Hi in this office.
00:32:33.000 Yes, everyone says hi.
00:32:35.000 What you're doing is you're policing the other speech that you have decided is racist.
00:32:39.000 And this wake-up call was meant to show white people how horrible it is to be black in America at work.
00:32:46.000 But all it showed me, and likely you, was that this whole concept of racism is a bunch of whiners complaining about microaggressions.
00:32:57.000 And the word microaggressions is remarkably apt.
00:33:07.000 I don't know if you've ever done meth for three weeks straight, but one of the side effects is you get grumpy.
00:33:13.000 There's ups and downs.
00:33:14.000 I think most people are sort of like this, but with meth, there's this for three days, then that for a day.
00:33:21.000 I think the recidivism for them getting clean is 99% because surviving a meth hangover is one of the most brutal things you can do.
00:33:31.000 So they just do more meth.
00:33:32.000 They keep putting it off.
00:33:33.000 And I think, I'm just making this up right now, but I would imagine you drink probably a bottle of vodka when you're on meth to sort of even it out.
00:33:40.000 Then you've had a bottle of vodka.
00:33:43.000 Like, I don't care how you slice it.
00:33:44.000 A bottle of vodka went into your body.
00:33:46.000 So the hangovers, when you are done your meth and recovering from the, I don't know, you're awake for three days.
00:33:52.000 Maybe you had two entire bottles of vodka.
00:33:54.000 That must be a real doozy.
00:33:57.000 Now, if you're married and you guys are doing this together in an abandoned house in rural Texas, then you guys are going to get up to some fights.
00:34:10.000 But the good news is you're both so weak from the abuse you've done to your body that no one really gets that hurt.
00:34:16.000 I'd like to play a clip.
00:34:18.000 By the way, I only assume these people are meth heads.
00:34:22.000 They might just be a couple who's down on their luck and are in a bad mood.
00:34:30.000 Look, the punches are fine.
00:34:34.000 Who's recording this?
00:34:36.000 F ⁇ you fucking manipulated blood.
00:34:39.000 When my kids fight, they do more damage to each other than these two.
00:34:42.000 *Bleep*!
00:34:44.000 *Bleep* with me!
00:34:46.000 You hear me?
00:34:47.000 You can't get out of that?
00:34:52.000 Who cannot get out of a woman's headlock?
00:34:55.000 What are you doing?
00:34:56.000 Oh, that was a weird move.
00:34:58.000 God damn, I hate your fucking gift ass bitch.
00:35:05.000 Their son is filming it.
00:35:09.000 Oh, wait.
00:35:10.000 He's not in withdrawals.
00:35:11.000 He's high.
00:35:15.000 She stole everything you got.
00:35:16.000 You don't got nothing, dude.
00:35:18.000 She stole all your paper plates.
00:35:20.000 It's at the end of the video.
00:35:23.000 Guys, I cannot stress this enough.
00:35:25.000 If you are in a relationship and you're doing meth and you're getting in a fight with your wife and you've both been high for four days and haven't slept and she comes at you and puts you in one of those headlocks, just look at her and say, get off my lawn.
00:35:37.000 Work it like the one time.
00:35:40.000 Bye.
00:35:43.000 Thank you.
00:35:44.000 I mean, 23 minutes.
00:35:45.000 How long was that intro?
00:35:46.000 Do you know?
00:35:47.000 That felt like 10.
00:35:48.000 No.
00:35:49.000 Dude, you got to time things.
00:35:50.000 I'm not looking for your gut instinct.
00:35:53.000 Okay.
00:35:53.000 By the way, Ryan, you got to bleep in post.
00:35:56.000 You got to bleep all swears.
00:35:57.000 But what I like to do with intro songs, I don't like to add a beep.
00:36:00.000 It's really distracting.
00:36:01.000 So you just cut the f ⁇ out.
00:36:03.000 Exactly.
00:36:03.000 So it's like, what the are you doing?
00:36:05.000 Sh ⁇ .
00:36:07.000 We'll talk about that later because I think it's funny that the things that can slip that are allowed are pretty cool.
00:36:14.000 Motherfuckers.
00:36:15.000 No shit.
00:36:16.000 And you could say d and fag?
00:36:19.000 Uh, no.
00:36:21.000 But I think I could say dick.
00:36:23.000 I can't say fag.
00:36:24.000 Okay.
00:36:24.000 You gotta beep out all the f ⁇ .
00:36:25.000 So a fag and whatever.
00:36:27.000 I mean, you know.
00:36:28.000 If there's a fag on my show, I'm in trouble.
00:36:30.000 Really?
00:36:30.000 Alright, I'll look for the episode.
00:36:32.000 The past five or six episodes, there's one.
00:36:34.000 You said your wife is a f ⁇ hag.
00:36:36.000 Or likes staying out with fucking fag hag.
00:36:39.000 Fag hag is different.
00:36:40.000 Oh, okay.
00:36:42.000 Okay.
00:36:43.000 I didn't know that.
00:36:45.000 It's almost like you could say ass, but not ass.
00:36:49.000 Yeah.
00:36:49.000 Okay.
00:36:50.000 Gotcha.
00:36:51.000 I mean, I'm cool with it all, but just looking up.
00:36:54.000 I got the video.
00:36:55.000 Thanks.
00:36:56.000 Not that Achie.
00:36:57.000 Hey, I don't mind, man.
00:36:58.000 Someone wants to show me their ass.
00:37:00.000 That's on them.
00:37:01.000 I'm totally good.
00:37:03.000 I got the video whenever you're ready, and we're rolling.
00:37:06.000 All right.
00:37:07.000 Now, I understand the notes.
00:37:08.000 It did look weird at first, but they're very...
00:37:14.000 He's a very bright man.
00:37:15.000 I've studied him for years.
00:37:19.000 And Joe Rogan's just like, wow, yeah, he's a bad motherfucker man.
00:37:25.000 Wow, that's crazy, man.
00:37:27.000 He's a bad motherfucker man.
00:37:30.000 I take these things before I do jiu-jitsu.
00:37:33.000 And Bass Ruthin, like, kick the guy in the face.