Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 22, 2018


Ep 174 | America has class | Get Off My Lawn


Episode Stats


Length

36 minutes

Words per minute

172.76614

Word count

6,329

Sentence count

570

Harmful content

Misogyny

16

sentences flagged

Hate speech

60

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of the Get Off My Land podcast, the lads discuss the new Jamaican rapper M.R.I.A. s new album, Blood Clot, and Robert Spencer s new book, Robert Spencer Is a Nazi .

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:35.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Land, you know.
00:00:37.000 Look, I'm a transparent man.
00:00:39.000 You can see through me.
00:00:40.000 I'm partly dead.
00:00:41.000 It's like on that movie Back to the Future, you know, where he's looking at the Polaroid and he's slowly vanishing away.
00:00:48.000 He got Babylon closing in on him, you know.
00:00:53.000 Mino Fi why you vex me so.
00:00:55.000 Blood clot.
00:00:58.000 Blood clot is the worst word in Jamaica and it refers to female menstruation. 1.00
00:01:05.000 I don't consider it a big deal.
00:01:06.000 It's like the swear words in Quebec.
00:01:08.000 Tabernac from the tabernacle.
00:01:11.000 If you say tabernac to a French-Canadian old lady, her ears will burn off. 1.00
00:01:15.000 Or call us.
00:01:17.000 I mean, you can't say any of these words, which is funny moving to New York because you see, like, the home of the holy tabernacle chalice.
00:01:22.000 And you go, geez, guys, chill.
00:01:27.000 Uh-oh, I'm hearing a sound.
00:01:28.000 Oh, that's the AC thing.
00:01:31.000 Let's have a look at that guy because that's not a Jamaican dude at all. 1.00
00:01:34.000 That's a kid from the projects.
00:01:38.000 Have you got video of him?
00:01:40.000 Show the video.
00:01:41.000 That's M.R. That's actually an old video of M.R. When he was just a rapper.
00:01:54.000 Now he's full-on Jamaican guy. 0.99
00:02:00.000 Doesn't multiculturalism enrich us all?
00:02:02.000 Isn't it wonderful?
00:02:04.000 The kids learning all the new different languages and stuff?
00:02:07.000 Like Blood Clat?
00:02:08.000 No, find the video that that song's from.
00:02:14.000 Where he's spitting on the mic.
00:02:16.000 Although we've lost the enthusiasm.
00:02:17.000 We've lost the momentum now.
00:02:20.000 What do we got on the show today?
00:02:22.000 Oh, I want to talk to Robert Spencer.
00:02:24.000 He's just put out another book.
00:02:25.000 Not Richard Spencer, Robert Spencer.
00:02:28.000 God, that poor guy.
00:02:30.000 This past year, he's having all his cousins call him and stuff, people he hasn't spoken to for years, or his old neighbor.
00:02:36.000 Hey, man, I hear you're a Nazi now?
00:02:41.000 Albert?
00:02:42.000 Not the same as Itchard.
00:02:44.000 I go through the same thing in court where people go, hey, what?
00:02:48.000 I heard the judge was grabbing you and smashing your head against a podium?
00:02:52.000 No, dude, that's a gavel.
00:02:54.000 Totally different situation.
00:02:56.000 The judge never touched me.
00:02:58.000 You're thinking of a wood hammer.
00:03:01.000 Did you find it?
00:03:04.000 Did you look?
00:03:06.000 Do you care?
00:03:07.000 There he is.
00:03:09.000 Neck tattoos.
00:03:11.000 He looks like a weird little dog.
00:03:15.000 Guys, I'ma say your free word boss.
00:03:16.000 Y'all catch me in Port More City.
00:03:18.000 Anyway, like for no million women. 1.00
00:03:22.000 Rise up, you think pussy, if I have a twin, cartel, they'll teach me a listening class. 1.00
00:03:26.000 I think it's funny when a white boy say, "Bombo class." What?
00:03:30.000 Let me say, "Bombo class." I suck you mad. 1.00
00:03:32.000 If you comment on my video, it's bad.
00:03:34.000 Don't you tell me biggily bungle, biggily bungle in the curtain.
00:03:36.000 And then we dry, kill me, junkle, nigga, be junkie, nini. 1.00
00:03:38.000 It's pretty good.
00:03:39.000 A ganja man, I'm a mishapusha bono lighter.
00:03:42.000 Bono co-ket, them thing, man, a fighter.
00:03:44.000 When they come from, I'm a real top striker.
00:03:47.000 Go ask it like, I'm a mishapusha bono lighter.
00:03:49.000 I'm gonna get the subtitles.
00:03:49.000 Oh, good.
00:03:52.000 It's don't go pork mo a side.
00:03:54.000 Don't stop a tellin'driver me, say, if they kill de mother, me say, if they kill de mother, me say, if they kill de mother. 0.94
00:03:58.000 Didn't even no get shot at them, brains get flatt.
00:04:00.000 Wake up, baby, man, the butt man, them.
00:04:02.000 Shut up, man, they like fruity business.
00:04:04.000 Like, he won't be in shot at the machine.
00:04:05.000 Oh, me not like fruity business.
00:04:07.000 Do-go-daga, do-go-daga.
00:04:08.000 She's even got the homophobia, right? 0.91
00:04:10.000 Do-go-daga, do-go-daga, do-go-daga, do-go-daga.
00:04:13.000 All right, now you're just cheating.
00:04:15.000 Now you're just making sounds.
00:04:19.000 Uh, I bet that if you went to Jamaica, he'd be super popular.
00:04:22.000 They like that kind of stuff.
00:04:23.000 They like a gimmick.
00:04:24.000 Like, if you were a dance hall guy and you had no eyes, like they got shot out or something, and you were called, like, no-eye-man.
00:04:34.000 You'd be huge.
00:04:34.000 I remember the last time I went there, there was this black guy who had glasses on, and his nickname was Glasses.
00:04:42.000 Well, go on, I'm Glasses, you know.
00:04:45.000 Hi, Glasses.
00:04:47.000 Uh, he was also Santa.
00:04:48.000 We had Christmas there, and he showed up as Santa.
00:04:52.000 He had a beard made of, uh, cotton balls.
00:04:54.000 His gloves were white surgical gloves, and he had one boot on because they only had one pair of Santa boots, and he wanted one of the other elves to also have boots.
00:05:03.000 So he said, where are one of my boots, you know?
00:05:06.000 So he had one boot on, surgical gloves, the cotton balls were falling apart, and he just took his glasses off and then put on a Santa hat.
00:05:13.000 He was like, ho, ho, ho, I'm Santa, you know.
00:05:15.000 Thanks for ruining Santa for my kids.
00:05:17.000 Uh, they have nightmares to this day about the cotton ball face with his surgical gloves.
00:05:25.000 I saw, I put a picture of it actually online years ago.
00:05:29.000 My daughter was about four, and I've noticed people have it as their avatar.
00:05:33.000 My daughter were having Santa Claus ruined for her by a guy named Glasses. 0.91
00:05:37.000 Glasses.
00:05:39.000 That's like calling me gorgeous, smart guy.
00:05:42.000 Like, you don't be so literal.
00:05:43.000 Um, all right, let's, we're gonna talk to old Richie Spence.
00:05:50.000 No, I just did it right now.
00:05:52.000 Robert Spence.
00:05:53.000 I actually always ask him that now.
00:05:57.000 I go, so you want an all-white state? 0.98
00:06:00.000 The, the, how about just some states?
00:06:02.000 Like Oregon, maybe you could choose seven.
00:06:04.000 That's what Professor Griff wants for blacks. 1.00
00:06:06.000 Just like seven states.
00:06:07.000 And he's like, no, I just hate Muslims. 1.00
00:06:10.000 I'm not racist.
00:06:11.000 Uh, all right.
00:06:16.000 So, yeah, we're gonna talk to Richard, uh, Fudge.
00:06:19.000 Robert Spencer.
00:06:21.000 We're gonna talk to Robert Spencer.
00:06:23.000 Don't cut to the crowd so quick.
00:06:24.000 It looks like subliminal messaging.
00:06:28.000 We're going to make you think of a crowd of dudes.
00:06:32.000 Yes.
00:06:32.000 but i also wanted to spend some time talking about um the longer I live in America, the more I realize that I'm not that American.
00:06:39.000 And one thing that I'm having a lot of trouble getting used to is there is a class system here in America.
00:06:46.000 Canada is hoser central.
00:06:48.000 So we played golf as kids.
00:06:50.000 We went downhill skiing as kids.
00:06:51.000 We had French people.
00:06:53.000 All were cheap losers.
00:06:55.000 Like you would play golf in Chuck's cutoff jeans and no shirt.
00:07:00.000 And it was 20 bucks.
00:07:02.000 Here, you have to join a country club and it's 60 grand.
00:07:06.000 Or skiing.
00:07:06.000 That was all hosers and jeans.
00:07:08.000 We didn't have gloves.
00:07:09.000 Like farmers' kids would ski because the farmers, half the time their dad owned a ski hill.
00:07:14.000 It was not a rich guy thing.
00:07:15.000 And then finally, of course, French people, where I'm from, they are poor, sad losers. 1.00
00:07:23.000 I mean, they're insecure.
00:07:26.000 Every time we'd play French school in soccer, we'd kick their ass because they were just scared of English muffins, they called us. 0.96
00:07:31.000 But we called them Pepsis because Pepsi was cheaper than Coke.
00:07:35.000 So all French people would drink Pepsi. 0.99
00:07:37.000 And then you come here in America and go, ooh, la-di-da, French. 0.95
00:07:41.000 I'm like, you mean the toothless hillbillies that we call Pepsis?
00:07:45.000 Yeah, them.
00:07:45.000 They're fancy, huh?
00:07:47.000 No.
00:07:48.000 You feel bad for French people in Canada.
00:07:52.000 You throw them a buck.
00:07:54.000 But before we do all that, I really want to talk to old Robert.
00:08:00.000 Robert, are you there?
00:08:01.000 I am here.
00:08:02.000 How are you, sir?
00:08:03.000 I am great.
00:08:03.000 How are you, sir?
00:08:04.000 I am wonderful.
00:08:06.000 You know, speaking of jihad watch, this is actually what I got.
00:08:10.000 A suicide bomber tried to kill me, and as his hand was flying by, I grabbed it, threw the hand away, and I got my own jihad watch. 0.54
00:08:18.000 What do you think?
00:08:19.000 Beautiful.
00:08:20.000 I'm going to start a line.
00:08:22.000 That would be so hilarious if you had a line of watches called Jihad Watch. 0.99
00:08:28.000 Various Muhammad cartoons like Mickey Mouse showing the time. 0.85
00:08:32.000 Great idea.
00:08:33.000 Muhammad with his hands. 0.80
00:08:34.000 Yeah, just reprint the Danish cartoons.
00:08:37.000 Beautiful.
00:08:38.000 I can't believe you have another book out.
00:08:40.000 How old was Islamophobia?
00:08:43.000 How old?
00:08:43.000 Well, let's see.
00:08:44.000 It'll be a year old in November.
00:08:46.000 So you're just pumping out one a year?
00:08:49.000 Yeah, that's basically it.
00:08:51.000 So you're addicted to cocaine?
00:08:54.000 If I was to turn your waste bin of your desk upside down, it would just be ting, tiddle, ling, ting, ting of various vials.
00:09:03.000 Yes.
00:09:04.000 No, in reality, this is a book I've wanted to write for years.
00:09:08.000 And it is the only book of its kind that traces the entirety of the jihad threat from the beginning, from Muhammad to today, brings it all together.
00:09:17.000 The first book of its kind to tell the story of the bloody jihad in India and relate it to the rest of the world, the jihad against Europe, the jihad against Israel, the jihad against the whole thing.
00:09:29.000 This is the first time the whole story has been told.
00:09:32.000 And it says here it goes back 1400 years.
00:09:36.000 Yes, that's right.
00:09:38.000 And Gavin, this is the thing.
00:09:40.000 Since the beginning of Islam, wherever Muslims and non-Muslims have been together, Muslims have started conflict. 0.62
00:09:47.000 The lesson of the book is this.
00:09:48.000 Why should we think it's going to be any different in our case?
00:09:51.000 Yeah.
00:09:52.000 Well, it seems like when they get over 10% of the population, you get into 90% of the trouble.
00:09:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:09:59.000 And this is what we're heading toward here.
00:10:01.000 As a matter of fact, the last chapter of the book is called The West Loses the Will to Live.
00:10:06.000 Well, you definitely see that in Britain, where they're more worried about being seen as racist than they are about children being raped.
00:10:14.000 Yeah, absolutely.
00:10:15.000 Thousands of girls, their lives are destroyed, the whole future of their country. 0.94
00:10:19.000 But they let them go and they don't do a thing about it because to do anything about it would be Islamophobia.
00:10:24.000 And the thing is, Gavin, they were right.
00:10:27.000 They were right.
00:10:28.000 Their careers would have been destroyed, the authorities who prosecuted those rape gangs.
00:10:34.000 Because Islamophobia really is much worse than jihad terror and much more of a concern as far as British authorities and authorities in many other places as well are concerned.
00:10:44.000 Well, I was recently in London doing a talk with Tommy Robinson.
00:10:49.000 And I met these Muslims who come to these things and I forget their names, but there's a big tall guy who brought a mouth guard for boxing.
00:11:01.000 And they do this thing where they say, you don't know the Quran.
00:11:04.000 They have that weird British accent that they do now where they sound almost Jamaican.
00:11:07.000 He's like, you don't know the Quran, my friend.
00:11:09.000 You have never read it.
00:11:10.000 It promotes peace and they do those same old tropes you've heard a million times.
00:11:13.000 But I think this might be the case.
00:11:15.000 Correct me if I'm wrong.
00:11:18.000 The first half of the Quran was very peaceful because he was more of a Jesus type prophet that was a mellow dude.
00:11:24.000 Then he became a warlord and the second half contradicts the previous half because it's written basically almost by a different guy.
00:11:33.000 Yeah, I think the Jesus comparison is a bit generous. 0.93
00:11:39.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:11:40.000 But the fact is, yes, the first half, chronologically, of the Quran is more peaceful than the other.
00:11:48.000 It's full of warnings of hellfire, threats of hellfire, but essentially it's summed up in chapter 109 that says, I do not say to the unbelievers, I do not worship what you worship and you do not worship what I worship. 0.84
00:12:00.000 And basically, let's leave each other alone.
00:12:02.000 Obviously, the exhortations to warfare that come in the second part, the Medinan surahs, contradict that.
00:12:10.000 So it's interesting that in a sense, Islam, from its foundation, was going backwards, going from peaceful and accepting to less intolerant and more primitive. 0.96
00:12:22.000 And you sort of, and that's the opposite of Christianity. 0.95
00:12:25.000 You know, we have the Old Testament that's all fire and brimstone, and then we have a 2.0 where we updated it and got much nicer.
00:12:31.000 And that's the one we follow now is the nice guy.
00:12:34.000 But it's also the same culturally.
00:12:35.000 Like you look at Iran, and it was a nice, peaceful place that was relatively secular.
00:12:40.000 And now it's a primitive hellhole.
00:12:42.000 So it seems like Muslims from day one of the Quran have been going backwards. 1.00
00:12:48.000 Well, yeah, there have always been these revival movements.
00:12:51.000 What we have in the Islamic Republic of Iran is a revivalist movement that is designed to sweep out the un-Islamic government that preceded and to bring the society back to the true observance of Islam.
00:13:03.000 There have been movements like that throughout Islamic history, as I show in the book.
00:13:07.000 And this is one of the problems: that Islam encourages fanaticism because the Quran teaches that if you follow Islam, you will prosper in this world. 0.75
00:13:16.000 That means if you're not prospering in this world, it's because you're not Islamic enough. 1.00
00:13:19.000 And so every time you have a society that's not prospering, then it's blamed on not being Islamic enough, and you get more and more and more fanatical.
00:13:28.000 Okay, well, here I'm going to throw you for a loop because when I see this pattern of people going back in time, it's quite unique.
00:13:36.000 Most people get more advanced, more culturally advanced, more technologically advanced.
00:13:40.000 So then I start to think, well, maybe it's genetic.
00:13:42.000 And then you go, wait a minute, didn't Muhammad say it was okay to marry your first cousin? 0.57
00:13:46.000 Could not this regression in progress and culture be an outward result of inbreeding?
00:13:56.000 There's an extraordinary amount of inbreeding in Islamic cultures and an extraordinary high rate of birth defects as a result because it's very tribal in general. 1.00
00:14:07.000 You go to Iraq and every little neighborhood is its own tribe and they hate everybody else. 1.00
00:14:12.000 And that causes a lot of trouble.
00:14:16.000 But ultimately, I think that it's a bigger problem than that.
00:14:20.000 And it doesn't stem ultimately from that because it's in the texts and teachings of the religion itself to make war against unbelievers and to carry out that belligerence at all times and places at all opportunities. 0.96
00:14:32.000 And this is what I show in the book, that everywhere this ideology goes, it creates conflict.
00:14:38.000 And it has not been reformed.
00:14:40.000 There was no period of tolerance.
00:14:41.000 There was no period of peace.
00:14:43.000 There was no time when it was reconsidered or rejected.
00:14:46.000 There were only some small periods where Muslims in the aggregate were too weak to pursue it.
00:14:52.000 But as soon as they regained strength, the jihad resumed.
00:14:56.000 So we're not sure if it's the book or the genes, but they're both pretty bad.
00:15:01.000 I vote for the book.
00:15:03.000 I think that the genes would make it ultimately, if you carry that out to the logical conclusion, that argument, you've got people who are essentially too weak, too adult, too mentally disabled to carry through anything. 0.98
00:15:18.000 And you see, unfortunately, there are jihadis who are very intelligent and very resolute.
00:15:23.000 Yeah.
00:15:24.000 Do you think Britain is doomed?
00:15:26.000 Can Britain ever turn the tides?
00:15:28.000 I don't think it's ever over.
00:15:30.000 I think that Britain is certainly going to go through a very, very difficult period.
00:15:34.000 And this government, this whole governmental system may well fall, and there could be civil war.
00:15:40.000 But I can't predict the outcome of that.
00:15:42.000 I think there may be a Sharia state in Britain, but it might not comprise the whole of the territory.
00:15:48.000 Well, I think you're right that they're on the verge of something very serious.
00:15:53.000 I'm much more optimistic about America.
00:15:56.000 I think we have a great ally in the fight against Islam, and that is the far left. 1.00
00:16:01.000 They are such terrible allies to Islam with their gay LGBT Islam and women wearing rainbow burqas. 1.00
00:16:11.000 And there's that bold TV show.
00:16:14.000 It's called about a magazine publisher or something.
00:16:18.000 And they have a gay Muslim activist photographer on it.
00:16:22.000 Like, I just want to leave the left and Islam together and let them eat each other. 1.00
00:16:26.000 It is so absurd, isn't it?
00:16:28.000 I was speaking at the University of Buffalo last year.
00:16:31.000 And really, I say I was speaking, I'm using the term loosely.
00:16:33.000 I was yelled at for an hour and a half at the University of Buffalo by all these self-righteous leftists.
00:16:38.000 And there was one kid in the audience, and he held up a sign at one point, actually all through, saying queers against Islamophobia. 0.63
00:16:46.000 And so I had, I was ready for heckling.
00:16:51.000 I didn't expect that it would just be non-stop for an hour and a half, drowning me out.
00:16:55.000 But I was ready with a big manual of Islamic law that's certified by Al-Azhar, the great authority in Cairo, the place where Obama spoke in 2009.
00:17:05.000 And I read from that manual, which is certified by all these high Islamic authorities, about how homosexuals should be put to death. 1.00
00:17:13.000 And the whole place started booing.
00:17:16.000 And this guy in a kaftan and a Kufi, he runs up to the Queers Against Islamophobia guy and gives him a big hug and says, this is my best friend.
00:17:24.000 Oh, okay.
00:17:25.000 And so I held the book up.
00:17:28.000 Do you think I wrote this?
00:17:31.000 Do you think it's not going to come down on you just because you don't like me for telling you about it?
00:17:37.000 It's just beyond absurd.
00:17:39.000 It's like when Kissinger heard about the Iran-Iraq war and he said, can't they both lose? 0.87
00:17:45.000 I want the far left and Islam to be locked in a room together and then we'll just come in a week later and sweep out the ashes. 1.00
00:17:53.000 It's coming.
00:17:54.000 We'll see it.
00:17:55.000 All right, Robert, well, thanks for coming on the show.
00:17:57.000 I really appreciate it.
00:17:58.000 Hey, thank you, Gavin.
00:18:00.000 Always a pleasure.
00:18:00.000 Let's have you back soon.
00:18:05.000 How's it going, eh?
00:18:06.000 My name is Gavin McInnes, and I was originally born in Britain, but I spent a majority of my life in basically two Canadian countries, Ontario and Quebec.
00:18:14.000 One's French, one's English.
00:18:14.000 They're very different.
00:18:15.000 So I kind of like to separate them, but they're both Canadian. 1.00
00:18:19.000 And I couldn't help but notice when I moved here to the States that America has class.
00:18:25.000 And I don't mean that in a good way.
00:18:27.000 Britain has a class system.
00:18:29.000 The Indians, by the way, in India, they took that and just blew it off the Richter scale. 1.00
00:18:34.000 So now they have the untouchables at the bottom and then like people who poo gold at the top with various stages in between.
00:18:43.000 They really went bananas with their interpretation of the British colonialist caste system, the class system.
00:18:50.000 But I always thought that we here in North America, we're over that crap and it's Britain that has that whole, hello, hi, dotting, on one end and then like, what are you doing?
00:19:01.000 Don't macabre.
00:19:02.000 And that's their class system, right?
00:19:03.000 They only got a middle class with Thatcher. 0.99
00:19:05.000 But up until very recently, it was the rich and the poor, two different accents, this class, that class. 0.69
00:19:10.000 And it defines everything they do.
00:19:12.000 Oh, I'm working class.
00:19:13.000 I want to be working class.
00:19:15.000 And Canada doesn't have that, even though it's mostly British.
00:19:20.000 Now, I think it's because the ones who get sick of the British caste, the British hierarchy, end up coming to Canada and go, let's start anew.
00:19:29.000 Everyone's the same.
00:19:29.000 Don't worry about it.
00:19:30.000 Don't muck about guys.
00:19:32.000 And so that's how I grew up.
00:19:34.000 I grew up in a brand new country, got their flag in 1960, their national anthem in 1980.
00:19:40.000 Brand new country, totally devoid of class.
00:19:44.000 Meaning, the prime minister spoke like your plumber.
00:19:48.000 Hey, my name's Stephen Harper, and we're going to try to get rid of a lot of these taxes and everything going around.
00:19:48.000 Hey, how's it going?
00:19:54.000 There was no erudite fancy Canadians. 1.00
00:19:57.000 There's no fancy Canadian last name.
00:19:59.000 They don't say, oh, he comes from a long line.
00:20:01.000 There is no long line.
00:20:02.000 In Canada, if you have a home that's 100 years old, then you have a heritage home.
00:20:09.000 My home in New York is 100 years old.
00:20:11.000 No one cares.
00:20:11.000 No one notices.
00:20:13.000 So the categories that I've noticed that America is almost as bad as Britain when it comes to this obsession with class is golf skiing, French people, and black people. 0.54
00:20:26.000 Now, I was going golfing with my friend, a Mexican man, a cousin of mine, actually, and he takes me to a fancy resort in Chicago.
00:20:36.000 And I go there, and they give me these, I didn't have golf shoes, I borrowed my cousins, and then I show there, and I take off my Chucks, and they go, allow me to clean these, sir, while you're gone.
00:20:48.000 They take my sneakers and clean them like they polished the little top part of the Chuck Taylor.
00:20:54.000 And then when I come back, they give me my spotless Chuck Taylors and say, I'll clean your golf shoes now.
00:21:00.000 I'm in a bathroom, by the way, that's the size of like three master bedrooms, but made of marble and tile.
00:21:00.000 Okay.
00:21:06.000 It's the most beautiful bathroom.
00:21:08.000 It looks like Caligula.
00:21:10.000 And I'm hanging out there with my cousin.
00:21:11.000 I go, dude, this is not golfing to me.
00:21:14.000 How much is it here?
00:21:15.000 And he goes, well, this club's $60,000.
00:21:17.000 Each game's about $1,000.
00:21:18.000 And of course, you have to pay the caddy a couple hundred.
00:21:22.000 Maybe tip him $100,000.
00:21:23.000 And I go, what?
00:21:25.000 Every golf game pans out to be like $1,000?
00:21:29.000 In Canada, we play in our jeans.
00:21:33.000 Do you have that picture of the ad for jeans?
00:21:36.000 Oh, yeah, no, this is a redneck American thing where they do it as a joke. 1.00
00:21:40.000 But this is golfing for me as a kid.
00:21:42.000 You have your jeans on.
00:21:44.000 They come by sometimes.
00:21:45.000 They make you wear a shirt.
00:21:46.000 But we would just play golf in our jorts.
00:21:50.000 And we drink and get hammered and pee in the bushes.
00:21:53.000 I used to buy a box of balls.
00:21:55.000 And then if it went in the woods, I went, oh, well, that one's gone.
00:21:58.000 I never looked for balls.
00:21:59.000 Screw that.
00:22:00.000 I played redneck golf, and it was called hoser golf.
00:22:02.000 And that's what everyone played.
00:22:04.000 Golf's not a fancy thing in Canada.
00:22:06.000 In Canada, you spend 200 bucks for a season pass, and it gives you all these bonuses to maybe 20 golf courses in the area.
00:22:13.000 Then when you go to that golf course, you show them your card, give them 30 bucks.
00:22:18.000 $60,000 to join a country club?
00:22:21.000 Are you out of your cotton picking mind? 1.00
00:22:24.000 No way.
00:22:26.000 So golf in America, or at least up here in New York, is for the elite.
00:22:31.000 And I just, it seems incongruous to me.
00:22:34.000 My background is golf is like stickball, baseball, football.
00:22:39.000 It's just a silly sport you do to get drunk.
00:22:41.000 And if you go out on any given course on any given Sunday, the plumbers will be there with the entrepreneurs, the CEOs.
00:22:48.000 They're all the same.
00:22:50.000 Where's that ad for golfing in shorts?
00:22:53.000 Yeah.
00:22:54.000 Oh, that's skiing.
00:22:55.000 Okay, that brings me to the next one.
00:22:56.000 Skiing. 0.98
00:22:57.000 When I was a kid, all the farmers' kids, they obviously lived near Giant Mountains because it's Canada.
00:23:04.000 So all the Hicks, the Hillbillies, skied.
00:23:08.000 And they'd wear their ski coats to school for some reason.
00:23:10.000 They lived in Carp, Ontario.
00:23:12.000 We called them Carpies.
00:23:13.000 And they wore jeans when they skied.
00:23:14.000 And we all did.
00:23:15.000 We all smuggled six packs in and bottles of booze.
00:23:19.000 And we would have jeans on, a cigarette, a ski jacket.
00:23:25.000 You had an actual ski jacket.
00:23:26.000 No hat, no goggles.
00:23:28.000 No one had, I go to these ski hills in America, which are unbelievably expensive.
00:23:32.000 We went to this place.
00:23:34.000 It's got a Japanese sounding name.
00:23:36.000 I forget what it was, but we stayed there for three days with the family.
00:23:39.000 My final bill was like five grand.
00:23:42.000 I go, what?
00:23:44.000 We used to just go up on hills, 20 bucks, throw them 20 bucks.
00:23:47.000 You go there, you have no ski equipment.
00:23:49.000 You just have your boots and your and your skis.
00:23:50.000 Sometimes you didn't even have poles.
00:23:52.000 And you just have jeans and a cigarette going down the hill.
00:23:55.000 We used to play this game called Chinese Downhill, where you would race as fast as you can and just body check your friends into trees.
00:24:03.000 Or even when we were waiting in line, you'd smash your friend's skis with your pole, trying to turn it into Swiss cheese.
00:24:08.000 Just bang, bang, bang, smashing his skis again and again.
00:24:13.000 And we got the idea from Chinese Downhill from the movie from 1984 called Hot Dog.
00:24:18.000 It was a skiing movie that was also very hosiery.
00:24:21.000 So maybe it was the same in America back in the 80s as it was in Canada.
00:24:25.000 There's the poster for Hot Dog.
00:24:27.000 But check out this scene.
00:24:28.000 This is the Chinese Downhill.
00:24:29.000 And this was my youth with skiing.
00:24:31.000 It was not a fancy thing.
00:24:33.000 It was where you tried to make your friend wipe out.
00:24:37.000 And they're off.
00:24:38.000 This is someone just recording it on their TV.
00:24:40.000 So it's a little wobbly.
00:24:43.000 We didn't quite roll that deep.
00:24:45.000 What's that?
00:24:45.000 60 people.
00:24:48.000 Look, you bail.
00:24:49.000 I remember you'd see your buddy, too, right over there, and you'd just get close to him and then just whip to the right and just send him flying.
00:24:57.000 Oh, there was another trick we'd do where you jab your pole down in the snow right in front of his ski boot so it would stop his boot instantly and he would just launch without his skis and go flying down the hill.
00:25:10.000 Then you just wave, bye, buddy.
00:25:12.000 That was an art form doing that ski pole move because it stopped you too.
00:25:15.000 It was like sticking a stick in someone's bicycle spokes.
00:25:20.000 So this is not fancy, right?
00:25:24.000 It gets a little heavier in a sec, I hope.
00:25:28.000 Or you just shove the guy.
00:25:32.000 And you got used to it after a while, so while you're skiing, you'd sort of go, this is seeming a little too quiet out here.
00:25:39.000 Someone is about to take me down.
00:25:41.000 There we go.
00:25:42.000 Like the whole sort of thing with the fur and the elites and the...
00:25:51.000 Maybe that's what I'm discovering.
00:25:52.000 Because white people go, I want to go to a place that is black-free. 1.00
00:25:56.000 And they end up at a ski hill and then they're all like, oh, I can be a fancy aristocrat now.
00:26:00.000 There's none of these colored people around. 1.00
00:26:02.000 But in Canada, there's never any.
00:26:04.000 Oh, geez, that's a bummer.
00:26:07.000 Yeah, you just died.
00:26:08.000 Why is this in a comedy film?
00:26:08.000 I don't know.
00:26:10.000 This is how my dad became a paraplegic.
00:26:13.000 Oh, that's funny.
00:26:15.000 Aha, you shattered your spine.
00:26:18.000 We never did anything like that.
00:26:21.000 It wasn't as mountainous, too.
00:26:22.000 That would be a perfectly normal thing to do to your friend, by the way.
00:26:25.000 Perfectly reasonable.
00:26:27.000 Chinese downhill.
00:26:32.000 Yeah, and it was such a pain because you have to walk all the way back up to where you got body checked.
00:26:37.000 And we did not have this fancy gear.
00:26:39.000 It was all just jeans.
00:26:41.000 All right.
00:26:44.000 Now, here's a perfect example.
00:26:45.000 When I first came to New York, there we go.
00:26:47.000 Friends don't let friends ski in jeans.
00:26:50.000 Wrong.
00:26:51.000 If you're wearing, you go to ski hills now, 100% of them are wearing helmets.
00:26:57.000 Little kids, moms, dads snowboarding, which is weird.
00:27:01.000 I don't think men my age should snowboard.
00:27:03.000 It's not a good look, guys.
00:27:04.000 But what are you going to bonk your head?
00:27:06.000 What are you all relatives of Sonny Bono and Liam Neeson's wife?
00:27:11.000 I mean, there's been two people that died.
00:27:13.000 I got in an argument with this, about someone, I got an argument with someone about this.
00:27:18.000 And they said, actually, something like 90% of skiing fatalities happen because there's no helmet.
00:27:24.000 Okay, that's likely true.
00:27:26.000 What are the skiing fatalities?
00:27:28.000 One a year out of the billions of times people are going down the hill?
00:27:32.000 God help.
00:27:33.000 When I was a kid, helmets were for the severely handicapped.
00:27:36.000 Now everyone on a bicycle and everyone skiing has to have their stupid helmet.
00:27:40.000 All right, so when I first moved to New York, I speak French.
00:27:43.000 In Quebec, you have to speak French.
00:27:45.000 French is trash. 0.99
00:27:47.000 French is like that trashy language. 1.00
00:27:49.000 It's like speaking, I don't know, hillbilly or New Orleans Creole or whatever.
00:27:54.000 It's not fancy.
00:27:56.000 So I noticed when I would go to, you know, a bakery and say, could I get a croissant, please?
00:27:59.000 And they go, ooh, la di-da. 1.00
00:28:01.000 So now I say croissant just to not, you know, draw attention to myself.
00:28:06.000 Or another Canadian friend was at a French restaurant.
00:28:08.000 He started speaking French to the waiter.
00:28:09.000 And someone at a nearby table goes, why don't you relax with your French and shove it up your ass?
00:28:14.000 And he went, okay.
00:28:16.000 In Canada, the French are the poor. 0.99
00:28:18.000 When I was growing up, there was Coke and Pepsi.
00:28:21.000 Pepsi was five cents cheaper than Coke and all the French people drank Pepsi because they couldn't afford Coke.
00:28:26.000 You know, over the long grand scheme of things, you end up saving money.
00:28:29.000 So we called them Pepsis or peppers.
00:28:32.000 Pepsis are white trash. 1.00
00:28:34.000 I like them, especially the ladies. 1.00
00:28:36.000 But the idea that French means classy is just so foreign to me.
00:28:42.000 When I see French people and I talk to French people, I'm proud of myself that I can talk to the poor and be civil with them and not think I'm better than them.
00:28:50.000 I'm like, I'm cool.
00:28:51.000 I'm Dr. Doolittle.
00:28:52.000 I can talk to the animals.
00:28:54.000 But here was a show we used to watch called Elvis Graton.
00:28:58.000 And here he is on the beach saying to his wife, what do you have on cassette?
00:29:04.000 And she's like, what about the time the Expos played the Cubs?
00:29:08.000 And he goes, yeah, yeah, put that on.
00:29:10.000 And she goes, I don't know.
00:29:11.000 I think I'd rather listen to the game the Expos played with the Padres.
00:29:15.000 And he goes, ooh, that is a good one.
00:29:16.000 So I've just translated it for you.
00:29:18.000 But this is French to a Canadian.
00:29:20.000 Put the cassette of the Cubs of Chicago against our expo.
00:29:26.000 Cubs of Chicago.
00:29:27.000 I like the Cubs of San Diego.
00:29:30.000 Oh, yes.
00:29:31.000 The Cubs of San Diego.
00:29:34.000 And he goes, oh, yeah, that's a better game.
00:29:36.000 So she puts that on the cassette, presses play, and they listen to that time last year.
00:29:42.000 The Expos played the Padres.
00:29:48.000 They're listening to a year-old baseball game on vacation.
00:29:53.000 Is that classy?
00:29:54.000 Is that fancy?
00:29:56.000 Or there's another popular French-Canadian show that the Pepsis, the Peppers like.
00:30:00.000 By the way, I'm sitting here saying the N-word basically, Pepsis, Peppers. 1.00
00:30:04.000 You say Pepsi late at night in Montreal to a French guy, it's going down. 1.00
00:30:09.000 My friend Adam once, he was lost in the French part of town on a Saint-Laurent or Saint-Cathrine Le.
00:30:16.000 And he goes, hey guys, ooe la rue, Saint-Dominique.
00:30:20.000 And he had terrible French.
00:30:21.000 He was from Ontario.
00:30:22.000 And they go, ooe, la rue.
00:30:24.000 And they start making fun of him and telling him bad directions.
00:30:26.000 And he just goes, ugh, so sick of peppers.
00:30:31.000 They totaled him.
00:30:32.000 Anyway, Laptit V is an Archie Bunker-like sitcom about the typical French-Canadian family.
00:30:38.000 Look how fancy these people are and how nervous we should be around them.
00:30:48.000 He's not meant to look like Catholic boy.
00:30:50.000 I don't know what you think.
00:30:53.000 And then, RĂ©jean, who doesn't arrive, he's a nervous system.
00:30:55.000 He's trying a new job today.
00:30:57.000 Ah, yes?
00:30:57.000 He's trying a new job.
00:30:58.000 He's trying to get a new job.
00:31:00.000 Oh! 0.60
00:31:00.000 I hope he doesn't have any problems. 0.60
00:31:02.000 He's trying to get a big deal.
00:31:03.000 You know, I've got a big deal.
00:31:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:31:06.000 So, it's a guy who's intelligent, RĂ©jean.
00:31:08.000 He's trying to get a new job.
00:31:11.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:31:12.000 You know, you're a big deal.
00:31:13.000 Oh, my God!
00:31:14.000 You know, the big deal, with the guy.
00:31:16.000 Oh, he's trying to get a new job.
00:31:16.000 Okay, it's enough to get a new job.
00:31:18.000 You're going to get a new job.
00:31:19.000 By the way, that accent is literally 400 years old.
00:31:22.000 Hey, monsieur.
00:31:24.000 Hey, monsieur.
00:31:25.000 Tu es arrivé toi, Thérèse.
00:31:27.000 Tu tombais dans sa chambre.
00:31:30.000 That's how they say two, by the way.
00:31:31.000 You know, like vousette and two e?
00:31:33.000 They say troi per tu.
00:31:35.000 And if you find some 90-year-old in the middle of nowhere in France, they will have that accent.
00:31:40.000 It's an ancient accent.
00:31:42.000 It's almost like hearing someone say, tupper de mernin.
00:31:45.000 No, like, you know, I was going to do a fancy English accent, but like, imagine during the plague, the guy who wants thruppence for a bun, sir, sir, more cruel, please.
00:31:54.000 I'm dying of the plague.
00:31:55.000 That's too fancy.
00:31:56.000 I'm not doing it.
00:31:56.000 I'm not very good at my 16th century pauper English, but that's what they sound like.
00:32:01.000 Again, class-free.
00:32:03.000 So it's funny how, as an immigrant, you get to know a culture like America, which is just literally one hour south of Montreal.
00:32:11.000 And over the years, I've been here since 1999, you realize, yeah, we are different.
00:32:17.000 We have a totally different history.
00:32:19.000 The whole idea that we're all the same is a lie.
00:32:23.000 Okay, finally, black people.
00:32:25.000 Now, I've been criticized for being too callous when it comes to the African-American experience and poo-pooing the whole taboo of various words you can and can't say, and I should be more sensitive about slavery.
00:32:38.000 I'm not because I'm from Ontario and Quebec.
00:32:40.000 In Ontario, black people, there's so few of them that they just assimilated.
00:32:44.000 So I grew up with some black guys and they played hockey and they listened to Rush.
00:32:48.000 They didn't, this was before rap.
00:32:50.000 This is the 70s and early 80s.
00:32:53.000 And Montreal is even less blackety black.
00:32:57.000 In Montreal, in Quebec, the only blacks we knew, and there was a lot of them actually, but the only blacks we knew were Haitians because Quebec is very strict about language and you're not coming to Quebec unless you speak perfect French.
00:33:09.000 So they only really allowed Haitians to come in as far as black people goes.
00:33:13.000 And if you're rich enough to get out of a shithole like Haiti, you're rich. 1.00
00:33:19.000 So all the black people when I was growing up in the 80s in Montreal were nerds. 0.99
00:33:26.000 So when I would hear, oh, there's me, a bunch of black people at this party, I'd go, oh, great.
00:33:29.000 They're probably not even going to have booze.
00:33:31.000 It's just going to be a bunch of guys wearing blazers and scarves.
00:33:35.000 They're like boarding school kids, you know?
00:33:39.000 They're all squares.
00:33:41.000 Our rich are somehow less square for some reason.
00:33:43.000 But yeah, they're really religious, really rich, and really boring.
00:33:47.000 So this is what black people are in Montreal. 0.78
00:33:50.000 This is how I grew up seeing black people.
00:33:53.000 It is really dull nerds.
00:33:57.000 There they are.
00:33:58.000 What's this?
00:33:58.000 The Mathieu de Costa?
00:33:59.000 Mathieu is a common name.
00:34:03.000 Hi, you guys want a party?
00:34:05.000 It's not exactly like a black church, is it?
00:34:08.000 Hi, this guy would like to shake your hand.
00:34:10.000 Now you could just drop the needle anywhere on this record and it'll be a snooze fest.
00:34:20.000 No, it doesn't matter where you put it.
00:34:32.000 No, it doesn't matter where you put it.
00:34:32.000 Anyway, in America, French people are fancy pants.
00:34:37.000 Black people are a big deal, and we have to be very careful what we say. 1.00
00:34:40.000 Golf is for the elite, and skiing is a very fancy aristocratic sport.
00:34:44.000 Where I'm from, all three of those things, golf skiing in French, is white trash, and black people are super square Christian nerds. 1.00
00:34:55.000 So I'm sorry that I'm so insensitive to your culture, but I'm only just now starting to figure it out.
00:35:06.000 I don't know if you know what au gratin means, but it is a fancy French dish that involves thinly sliced potatoes and I think breadcrumbs or something.
00:35:15.000 It's very, very expensive and I don't recommend you get it.
00:35:20.000 Now, there's a much fancier version of au gratin where they sprinkle leaves and lettuce on it and it's called gratuité.
00:35:28.000 And it is phenomenally, sometimes it's like 20% of the bill, this gratuit.
00:35:33.000 And what a lot of people are doing, waitresses, they're just sticking it on the bill and pretending you ordered the gratuity. 1.00
00:35:40.000 Like you could even finish one.
00:35:41.000 They're about this big.
00:35:43.000 So this woman, this tenacious citizen journalist, called her out and caught the woman sneaking that expensive French dish on her menu. 1.00
00:35:54.000 Take it away, La Quinta.
00:35:58.000 Doesn't that mean the bill?
00:36:00.000 Yeah, that's automatic with the movie.
00:36:01.000 Sorry, go back.
00:36:03.000 I have to hear it again.
00:36:04.000 I've watched this 140 times.
00:36:06.000 This is kind of like a snobby classes thing to do, but I still enjoy it.
00:36:10.000 We didn't order gratuity.
00:36:15.000 Go back, go back.
00:36:18.000 Yeah, that's automatic with the gratuity.
00:36:22.000 Gratuity is my tip.
00:36:24.000 Yeah, so you guys behind the tips.
00:36:25.000 Oh, so you get to eat the gratuity?
00:36:28.000 Where is it?
00:36:30.000 If you're going to charge me for it, at least bring it to the table.
00:36:33.000 She's back there, that waitress just stuffing her face with oh, gratuities all night. 1.00