Liz Fair, Bruce Jenner, police brutality, police shootings, and more. Plus, a special guest star of the TV show Veep joins Jemele to talk about her new album, and more!
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:02:23.000How do you even know your marriage is going badly?
00:02:26.000Honestly, it'd be like moving to China.
00:02:30.000If you were married and you guys moved to China, you couldn't get divorced because you wouldn't even know your marriage was bad.
00:02:36.000You're learning Chinese, you're trying to get a job, you're eating all this gross food, caterpillars, turtle soup, which is in China, you know what turtle soup is?
00:04:04.000But like, you could have, I bet if you're a cop, you could have a myriad of shirts that are way more controversial than that that you'd get away with.
00:04:39.000There's a giant dude here that I'm supposed to tackle, but I'm five feet tall and I have a huge Puerto Rican ass and can run about one mile an hour.
00:04:50.000So please get over here and bring some big, huge men to take down this giant monster.
00:06:25.000He looks to be about 75 years old and he's running around in the forest singing a Song he wrote called I'm Old and Horny, so we'll be checking in with him.
00:06:34.000Also, comedian Josh Denny will be on the show to discuss an important subject that I think is in the forefront of everyone's mind in Trump's America, and that is fries.
00:06:45.000How rare it is that someone cooks fries correctly, that they have that nice droop to them that looks like you need sialis really bad, drenched in vinegar, the quality fry.
00:06:58.000And the thing that scares me about the state of the French fry in the Western world, and I'm including Britain in that, is I think we've been so hammered with low-quality fries that we actually enjoy frozen fries.
00:07:14.000Can you idiots stop talking, please, at a show?
00:07:18.000If you want to talk, hey, just go into the other room.
00:07:54.000It seems to be under the auspices of we don't want people to hurt gays.
00:08:00.000Whew, five-year-olds are going fag-bashing now?
00:08:03.000Like, kids don't have opinions on gays.
00:08:06.000They might say something dumb and homophobic when they're eight, but they don't even know what they're saying.
00:08:10.000Remember, you go, that's gay or whatever.
00:08:11.000You're not really thinking what you're saying.
00:08:13.000You're not like, that's homosexual, and I don't approve of them, and I don't like going to the West Village or San Francisco.
00:08:19.000Like, you don't have any context when you're a little kid.
00:08:22.000Sure, there's homophobia, I guess, as you get later in life, but why are you trying to nip it in the bud with children and saying, I think, you know what I think there is?
00:14:36.000It's like being the weirdest Trekkie who speaks Klingon and then going to little kids and going, I want these kids to know that if they want to speak Klingon, they want to dress up with prosthetics on their head and use one of those choo-choo choo Star Trek things, they can.
00:14:49.000And I'm sick of kids getting beaten up for that.
00:15:15.000He should go to Dominican, Puerto Rican neighborhoods and Harlem and East New York and go, we've got a real problem with homophobia, so I'm going to be reading to the Trinitarios, Dominicans Don't Play, and the Bloods in the Crypts.
00:19:42.000I do a perfect Scottish accent because my parents are Scottish.
00:19:45.000And I know a few other guys who can do it.
00:19:47.000And some of them are actors in commercials.
00:19:49.000And they go, if I do a good Scottish accent, they say, what will you sound Armenian?
00:19:54.000So then I dumb it down and I do a Groundskeeper Willie.
00:19:57.000And I'm like, if it's not Scottish, it's crap.
00:20:00.000And they go, there, finally, you got it.
00:20:01.000And he goes, the bad Scottish accent is the norm now.
00:20:05.000And I think it's, I've talked to restaurant owners and I go, can't you just go ka-chunk, ka-chunkunkunkunkunk-chunk a bunch of times and let them soak overnight?
00:20:32.000Have you seen this new thing where it looks like it's a Chernobyl fry and they add little scabs and stuff to the outside to make it look more hand-cut?
00:20:42.000So it's like a fake frozen, I mean, it's a fake hand-cut fry with lumps and tumors on it and stuff.
00:20:47.000And you're supposed to go, oh, now it has texture.
00:21:03.000I'm at the point now where I'll order a cheeseburger.
00:21:06.000I'll have the frozen fries there, but it's, and now it's like, when you're having your cheeseburger, if you want to maybe remember fries, you could sort of eat these as like a space guy.
00:21:15.000You know, if you're in outer space and you have that space ice cream, it probably reminds you of what ice cream is like.
00:21:53.000I mean, they remind me of those French fry, like the dried French fry snacks you would get in a bag that were like chips, but they looked like, they were shaped like french fries.
00:23:05.000But if you go to a super fancy steakhouse, like up here in New York, we have Keene's where Abe Lincoln used to go and FDR and a steak is 50 bucks.
00:23:22.000Conversely, if you go to some cheap fair up in upstate New York where everyone wears the Confederate flag and says, I hate New York, and they're like rednecks, and you go to some disgusting van that's by the stupid dart rip-off thing and some claw scam, it's the most delicious hand-cut fries on earth coming from this greasy chip van in the fair.
00:23:45.000So the rich guys eat the frozen fries and the poor guys eat the handcuff fries.
00:23:50.000This is a very long question I'm asking you, but I can't help but think that really good quality fries are sort of seen as trashy because they're Irish.
00:23:58.000So the elites just have frozen fries to differentiate themselves from the poor Irish or something because it's incongruous.
00:24:07.000I think it boils down to, I think like cheaper places go the cheaper route.
00:24:12.000And I think, you know, fancier places are looking for margin.
00:24:16.000They're trying to squeeze as much margin out as possible for volume.
00:24:19.000So all they're trying to do is get cheap product in bulk.
00:24:23.000Whereas when you're doing smaller batch, like hand-cut fresh potatoes is always cheaper.
00:24:28.000But when you get into like massive volume and you talk about like storing stuff, it comes down to the labor of, you know, the fancy steakhouse doesn't want to pay a guy to do this for an hour a day.
00:24:41.000You know, so they just get stuff that's pre-bagged.
00:25:13.000I remember when we were filming our show in New York and we were in this old Jewish deli and I was like, what are these buckets that are just open in the air?
00:25:20.000And my culinary producer was like, oh, no, that's just how they let things ferment and get ready.
00:25:35.000Can't wait to feed this to everyone in the restaurant but me.
00:25:40.000So you hand cut them, you let them sit overnight, you drain the water, then I believe, correct me if I'm wrong, you're the expert here, you blanch them by cooking them.
00:26:28.000So you boil it for like two seconds, like not two seconds, but like a minute.
00:26:33.000You boil it for a minute or at least until the green pops.
00:26:36.000Then you drop it in ice water and then you throw it on the on the pan or the grill and you get really crispy, crunchy green beans, except they're not raw.
00:27:18.000So after post-starch, post-night in a bucket, you can either boil them, ice them, and then fry them, or fry them and ice them and fry them?
00:28:40.000I wonder what Five Guys does, if they do the boiling thing or they just go water overnight and then put them in the deep fryer raw.
00:28:48.000Yeah, you know, I'm trying to think what their setup is like in their places because I don't feel like I see them pull them out of buckets or out of any kind of wet storage.
00:28:58.000I feel like they're in a box or something.
00:29:31.000Have you ever had fries in Britain, in Scotland, like the newspaper kind?
00:29:35.000I mean, not in Britain or Scotland, but I've had them in New York at like an Irish pub or something where they're.
00:29:41.000Well, there's that place, Tea and Sympathy, a Salt and Battery on the West Side that does, in the West Village, that does it exactly the same way the Brits do.
00:29:48.000And their fries will get like your thumb would be the tiniest fry they have.
00:29:52.000They're almost like potato wedges and they're super greasy.
00:29:55.000Then you cover them in vinegar and salt.
00:29:57.000And, you know, it's the most delicious thing in the world.
00:29:59.000But with our little fragile American stomachs, we have two bites of fish and a couple of those giant fries.
00:30:06.000And you got to lie down for about four hours.
00:30:44.000Yeah, I get the looks when I'm at a Five Guys because I'll empty a bottle of malt vinegar at my table and people are just like, but there's other people.
00:31:45.000Like, if it's, if it's, because essentially a frozen fry, it's the same consistency all the way through.
00:31:51.000Whereas with a fresh cut fry, you can taste the different texture between the skin and the inside.
00:31:57.000Yes, and it's very rare a frozen fry can achieve droopiness, but that sort of like flaccid sialis commercial of a fry tells you right away that you're dealing with the real deal.
00:32:12.000If it's hard as a rock when you pull it out, if it's yeah, if it's if it's an erect fry, if you can hold it like this with stuff on the end of it.
00:32:22.000Maybe that's the root of our love of real fries is just latent homophobia.
00:32:29.000Yeah, I don't like anything that's hard all the time for no reason.
00:32:32.000Look, you have those erect fries, homo.
00:32:35.000I'm having some nice droopy fries that aren't interested in dudes.
00:32:39.000It's funny that you say that because I was working on this new bit the other day, but when everyone talks about like, well, racism is never good.
00:34:44.000Those are the things of olden days that just dinosaurs like me are holding on to, I guess.
00:34:50.000It's like, by the way, we only had time to talk about fries.
00:34:53.000This is all officially in overtime, but it reminds me of this transgender woman saying, at this point, the medical community are the only ones who believe in two genders.
00:35:02.000And I'm like, oh, that poo-poo, the old medical community, those weirdos over at the hospitals doing heart transplants.
00:35:37.000What would you do if a large-breasted African-American woman of color was on your plane, pulled out her gigantic, gorgeous chocolate bosom, and started feeding it to her child right next to you?