Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 17, 2018


Ep 184 | Mia Culpa | Get Off My Lawn


Episode Stats

Length

39 minutes

Words per Minute

171.40703

Word Count

6,822

Sentence Count

596

Misogynist Sentences

27

Hate Speech Sentences

35


Summary

On this episode of Thick & Thin, the boys discuss the latest in the scandal surrounding Brett Kavanagh, Mia Cavanagh and her daughter, and how she should have handled it differently. They also discuss a new conspiracy theory about Trump having inherited Obama's wealth, and a woman who wore a "pussy hat" to an anti-Trump rally.


Transcript

00:00:19.000 From New York, it's Gabon McGee, my inquiry, in when I'm a bad, Iguanyama, Inguinamabada.
00:00:48.000 That is a wonderful song and a musical Lion King.
00:00:53.000 And it is about Africa.
00:00:55.000 Uhuru!
00:00:58.000 Africa is a wonderful place, very dynamic place.
00:01:01.000 It's got a rich history and incredible wealth, especially areas that the white man didn't ruin, like, for example, obviously Wakanda.
00:01:09.000 Wakanda is a place featured in comic books and was recently in a fictitious superhero movie called Black Panther.
00:01:18.000 I guess all superhero movies are fictitious.
00:01:22.000 So I want to talk about a video I saw recently where they featured all the facts in the history about Wakanda and what a great place it would be to visit were it to exist.
00:01:34.000 I also want to talk about this rumor going around that Trump has just inherited Obama's wealth.
00:01:40.000 Now, this is an economic discussion and I found economics so boring that when I took it in college, it was like being shot in the face with a heroin dart gun.
00:01:50.000 A tranquilizer dart.
00:01:52.000 I would just go, all right, let's get and just wake up when the class was over.
00:01:58.000 So we're going to plow through that really quick, and I promise to ring the alarm bells if Matt gets too boring.
00:02:05.000 I'll only let him show like three graphs and then we'll kill it.
00:02:09.000 Because this show's a fun show.
00:02:11.000 This is like entertainment tonight, but it's political.
00:02:15.000 Mia Culpa on the cover of the New York Post, uh-oh, Sun Yi Previn waited decades to fire back at mom.
00:02:22.000 She's not impressed with Mia Pharaoh and says she was a horrible mom.
00:02:26.000 I've heard this too.
00:02:27.000 I don't think Woody Allen was a pedophile.
00:02:29.000 I don't think he molested his daughters.
00:02:32.000 I think it's real gross that he ended up marrying his girlfriend's recently adopted kid.
00:02:39.000 I'm not a fan of that.
00:02:40.000 I think you deserve some pariah status for that.
00:02:43.000 But otherwise, like actual molestation, illegal stuff, no.
00:02:47.000 Anyway, gross.
00:02:48.000 Isn't Hollywood gross?
00:02:51.000 I like how the range of bad guys is, well, there's Woody Allen, who wasn't that bad, and then there's Harvey Weinstein, who was real bad.
00:02:58.000 Blech.
00:02:59.000 Meanwhile, their obsession is with us as the bad guys, calling us rapists and racists and ravists.
00:03:07.000 That's true.
00:03:09.000 You know, a lot of conservatives are being accused of hating raves for no good reason.
00:03:13.000 And that's a lie.
00:03:15.000 Pleur is a common motto amongst the right.
00:03:17.000 Peace, love, unity, and respect.
00:03:19.000 We often go to Burning Man.
00:03:20.000 I actually met Rush Limbaugh at Burning Man.
00:03:23.000 And the first thing he said to me, he said, God damn it, it's hot out here.
00:03:28.000 And I said, it's because you're obese, Rush.
00:03:30.000 I feel fine.
00:03:31.000 I was lying.
00:03:32.000 I was really hot, too.
00:03:33.000 And I do mean sexy.
00:03:35.000 I had on leather shorts with feathers on them and a giant Lion King head that I stole from the play and ski boots.
00:03:42.000 Platform ski boots made of leather.
00:03:46.000 All right.
00:03:47.000 We've got a lot to discuss.
00:03:48.000 I haven't seen you guys in a long time.
00:03:49.000 So we're going to talk about Wakanda.
00:03:50.000 We're going to talk about the economics, but we have to cover Kavanaugh, right?
00:03:53.000 Because there's something going on here that is quite kvetching.
00:03:56.000 And that is, that's not what the word kveching means.
00:03:59.000 That is, she's clearly full of crap, right?
00:04:04.000 She had, what, they horsed around in high school.
00:04:06.000 That's probably true.
00:04:08.000 His boner was too severe, and then he passed out.
00:04:11.000 Wow, let's sue him.
00:04:11.000 Okay.
00:04:14.000 And she just decided right now.
00:04:16.000 And coincidentally, she wore a brain-shaped pussy hat to an anti-Trump rally.
00:04:22.000 You got that?
00:04:24.000 Pull up that picture.
00:04:25.000 There we go.
00:04:26.000 She also signed an anti-Trump petition.
00:04:30.000 You better hope you don't have any creepy porn bookmarks on your computer there.
00:04:35.000 No, no, these are pornless bookmarks.
00:04:37.000 No winks.
00:04:38.000 Because the cops just got caught, by the way, publishing a screenshot of a weather map, dangerous weather areas.
00:04:45.000 And there was all these anti-cop groups as their bookmarks.
00:04:49.000 Which, what's the matter with that?
00:04:50.000 These guys want to kill cops.
00:04:52.000 I wouldn't mind keeping an eye on them.
00:04:54.000 Anyway, so I don't think that this is true, but that's just me, and I'm just thinking.
00:05:00.000 I obviously don't have the facts, but I'll tell you what's really going on here.
00:05:03.000 The left is waiting for us to say stuff like I just said.
00:05:05.000 Now, I'm just a random dude, so I can say it, but they're waiting for someone of consequence like Kellyanne Conway.
00:05:11.000 That would be great.
00:05:12.000 Eric Trump, Donald Trump Jr., if they dismiss this, then they can say Trump is appointing a Supreme Court judge who trivializes rape and thinks rape ain't no thang.
00:05:24.000 That's really bad news.
00:05:26.000 And we're not falling for that.
00:05:27.000 I've noticed that Kellyanne Conway and everyone around Trump is being very careful and saying, let's give her to trial.
00:05:33.000 This is very serious.
00:05:34.000 She deserves to be listened to.
00:05:36.000 They're not taking the bait.
00:05:37.000 You suck at this, lefties.
00:05:40.000 Do you have that Twitter moment?
00:05:42.000 That woman looks like she's on Adderall.
00:05:45.000 The victim's lawyer?
00:05:47.000 I don't think you should do Adderall if you're my age.
00:05:50.000 To testify under oath in front of the full Senate Judiciary Committee.
00:05:55.000 My client will do whatever is necessary to make sure that the Senate Judiciary Committee has the full story and the full lady, you're going to be awake for three days.
00:06:08.000 You're supposed to just chew a piece of a pill.
00:06:10.000 A fully informed decision.
00:06:11.000 You don't take the whole 80 milligrams.
00:06:13.000 I'm going to public under oath in front of the Senate.
00:06:14.000 Jonathan Winter's dosage.
00:06:19.000 See you in three weeks when you finally catch a nap.
00:06:23.000 So yeah, and this is a relevant story because, a relevant, not irrelevant, because it shows you That they're playing games.
00:06:32.000 This obviously isn't about protecting a woman from rape in your time machine.
00:06:36.000 This is about catching us off base and lying.
00:06:38.000 And you know what we should do in return?
00:06:40.000 Lie.
00:06:41.000 We should cheat and steal.
00:06:43.000 We should play dirty pool.
00:06:44.000 I hate the high road.
00:06:45.000 Ew, the high road.
00:06:46.000 Oh, I don't never, I don't swear.
00:06:49.000 Oh, you can't stoop to their level.
00:06:51.000 You're right.
00:06:52.000 We can't stoop to their level.
00:06:53.000 It's too high.
00:06:55.000 I want to go in the gutters, in the sewer.
00:06:59.000 I want to be staring up and going, oh, there's Michelangelo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
00:07:05.000 He's about 10 stories higher than me.
00:07:07.000 I'm down there with Bebop and Rocksteady in the trenches.
00:07:13.000 I ruined that analogy because trenches are way higher than sewers.
00:07:16.000 All right.
00:07:17.000 So I bring this up because there's those weather hoaxes.
00:07:19.000 You've seen this one a million times, right?
00:07:21.000 guy fighting the weather and then two people walk by in the background.
00:07:24.000 Fans, this is about as nasty as it's been.
00:07:28.000 We had some fans like this last night.
00:07:31.000 You know what they don't mention?
00:07:32.000 Maybe metalheads have stronger legs from playing air guitar and headbanging.
00:07:37.000 So what normally would make most of us with our little skinny pencil legs fly, metalheads just go boom, boom, boom, boom.
00:07:44.000 Yeah, isn't that just, that's ableist.
00:07:46.000 Yeah.
00:07:47.000 They were just making fun of a guy who wasn't as strong.
00:07:49.000 Yeah, that's really mean.
00:07:50.000 Okay, speaking of ableist, I don't know, have you ever seen me with my tiny legs?
00:07:55.000 Pull up a picture of me.
00:07:56.000 That's me with Lisa de Pasquale.
00:07:58.000 My legs are only 16 inches tall.
00:08:00.000 I also have a picture of me with the old manager of the Mets.
00:08:04.000 What's his name again?
00:08:05.000 The old professor?
00:08:06.000 Jerry Buckhammer?
00:08:07.000 Casey Stengel?
00:08:08.000 Oh.
00:08:09.000 So Anderson Cooper also has this affliction, and he was recently photographed in a pile of water with his little stubby legs.
00:08:18.000 Poor guy.
00:08:20.000 Here's the truth with this photograph that's been going around.
00:08:22.000 It's not really an example of fake news, but it is an example of fakish news 10 years ago.
00:08:28.000 This is a totally different hurricane.
00:08:30.000 I think that's Katrina or something.
00:08:32.000 It's not related to this.
00:08:33.000 This is an ancient photo.
00:08:35.000 But I don't want to point that out.
00:08:37.000 I guess I just did on my show.
00:08:40.000 But what I'm trying to say is perpetuate this rumor.
00:08:43.000 They play dirty pool all the time with their fake news.
00:08:45.000 We're doing fake news on their fake news.
00:08:48.000 So don't let people know that that's an old photograph.
00:08:51.000 Continue to humiliate the left the way they cheat and try to humiliate us.
00:08:58.000 We're not playing the game.
00:08:59.000 That's why I showed that because it links to Kavanaugh.
00:09:02.000 All right, how are we doing for time now?
00:09:04.000 I think we should start.
00:09:05.000 We're almost in the 10-minute zone.
00:09:09.000 Okay, let's look at this.
00:09:10.000 Obama did a big speech recently where he claims that Trump isn't so great.
00:09:19.000 I love the way Obama works too.
00:09:21.000 If the economy was bombing now, then he'd say, well, I told you Trump's a terrible president.
00:09:26.000 If it's doing well, which it is, well, I told you I can set a guy up.
00:09:31.000 It's a win-win for Obama, even when he loses.
00:09:34.000 The politics of division and resentment and paranoia has unfortunately found a home in the Republican Party.
00:09:40.000 Republicans who know better in Congress, and they're there, they're quoted saying, yeah, we know this is kind of crazy, are still bending over backwards to shield this behavior from scrutiny or accountability or consequence.
00:10:00.000 A reference to Trump's much-panned, both sides are to blame response to last year.
00:10:04.000 Both sides are to blame in Charlottesville, Virginia.
00:10:07.000 We're sure as heck supposed to stand up clearly and unequivocally to Nazi sympathizers.
00:10:15.000 Look at her.
00:10:16.000 How hard can that be saying that Nazis are bad?
00:10:21.000 And he talked about the importance of showing up.
00:10:25.000 They set up this paradigm that everyone's a Nazi and then say, if you don't denounce it, you think Nazis are good.
00:10:29.000 How hard can it be?
00:10:30.000 That's like a pro-choicer saying, I'm just for choice.
00:10:34.000 How hard can that be to say that choice is good?
00:10:38.000 Why are you anti-choice?
00:10:39.000 Because I'm not using your verbiage.
00:10:41.000 Okay?
00:10:41.000 You're anti-life as far as I'm concerned.
00:10:44.000 But the other clip I wanted to see was dig up Obama saying that he's responsible for Trump's economy.
00:10:52.000 The actions we took during that crisis returned the economy to healthy growth.
00:10:55.000 There we go.
00:10:56.000 Thanks, Obama.
00:10:58.000 And initiated the longest streak of jockey on record.
00:11:02.000 Sounds good.
00:11:03.000 We covered another 20 million Americans with health insurance, and we cut our deficits by more than half, partly by making sure that people like me, who've been given such amazing opportunities by this country, pay our fair share of taxes.
00:11:16.000 Our fair share.
00:11:18.000 Does anyone have any idea how much us rich people pay in tax?
00:11:21.000 It's damn near 50%.
00:11:23.000 My tax bill is probably twice your annual salary.
00:11:27.000 It would make your hair white.
00:11:28.000 And my neighbors way worse.
00:11:30.000 Anyway, enough, Obama.
00:11:31.000 So this is something you hear a lot, and it does have some validity.
00:11:34.000 If you look at the Dow from Trump to when Obama started, you tend to sort of see a pretty good 45-degree line.
00:11:44.000 And I'm tending to agree with the liberals, and I don't like that.
00:11:47.000 It never works out when I agree with liberals.
00:11:51.000 So this guy, what's his name now, who put out this video, his economic advisor, Herrot, Hemet or something like that?
00:11:59.000 He put out a video that explained that, yes, things have been getting better because they always get better.
00:12:06.000 They got better much slower for Obama than they did with Trump.
00:12:09.000 I know I'm going to bore you, so I'm going to make this fast.
00:12:12.000 But show some of that video.
00:12:16.000 The next chart, please.
00:12:18.000 Okay, so this is Kevin Hassett.
00:12:20.000 Just pause it for a second.
00:12:21.000 And he's discussing the economy, and he's saying that if you go back too far, yes, you see a 45-degree increase, and yes, that could look like Obama.
00:12:29.000 But when you zero in, you see that even within the improvements, things are improving much better.
00:12:35.000 Let's see how long we can tolerate this boring nerd.
00:12:38.000 Key part of the economy, and it's one of the factors that we look at most closely because it characterizes basically the good-paying jobs, the jobs that affects normal Americans, blue-collar Americans.
00:12:51.000 And the first chart is core capital goods orders, and the second chart is too boring.
00:12:56.000 I can't handle it.
00:12:57.000 Sorry.
00:12:58.000 I'm a Ditzy Broad, basically.
00:13:01.000 And we should talk to someone who knows what they're doing.
00:13:04.000 Let's have Matt Palumbo, Millennial, explain this video to us so we don't have to watch the whole thing.
00:13:09.000 *Music*
00:13:14.000 Matt, are you there?
00:13:15.000 I'm here.
00:13:16.000 This is Matt Palumbo, my go-to guy for all things economics.
00:13:20.000 You just wrote a book with Dan Bongino, correct?
00:13:23.000 Correct, yes, sir.
00:13:24.000 What's it called?
00:13:25.000 Spikey.
00:13:27.000 Right.
00:13:27.000 There it is.
00:13:29.000 Dan is my colleague at CRTV.
00:13:31.000 So you've been, I've always used you as my economics guy, but now my peers are realizing your brilliance.
00:13:37.000 The only thing you could do to improve your career would be to master a Colombo imitation.
00:13:42.000 And then when they say something like, Obama made this economy, you go, oh, my wife's a huge fan.
00:13:47.000 My wife's a huge fan.
00:13:48.000 And then go to leave the room with your trench coat.
00:13:50.000 You got to squint one eye.
00:13:52.000 And come back and go, there's just one thing that's bothering me.
00:13:55.000 And then you come back and you refute the previous thing.
00:13:59.000 I'll work on that.
00:14:00.000 And I'll also invest in a camera where you're not seeing into my nostrils as I'm talking to you.
00:14:05.000 Yeah, and your lip syncing seems to be off.
00:14:08.000 So you're way too close to the camera and your mouth is off.
00:14:11.000 This is amateur hour at the Apollo, but we don't really care.
00:14:14.000 We're millennials, you and I. So we don't really care about picture.
00:14:18.000 We care about audio and content.
00:14:20.000 All right, so Kevin Hassett, we're just watching this super boring video about economics.
00:14:27.000 Echosnorix, they ought to call it.
00:14:30.000 And I thought, I don't understand this.
00:14:32.000 It's too hard.
00:14:33.000 So I thought, I'll call Matt.
00:14:35.000 Do you have that first graph?
00:14:36.000 So Kevin Hassett shows us some graph where there's a thing that goes up and it seems to be going up higher than it was supposed to go up, the new business applications.
00:14:46.000 I guess that's people trying to register an LLC?
00:14:50.000 Yeah, the chart was showing that every quarter, or at least the most recent quarter, there are something like 150,000 small business applications being filed, above what we would expect if it was going on the same pace as when Obama left office.
00:15:04.000 So the passive video, I'm assuming you showed it earlier, what he was doing is referring to an argument that people make that, sure, the Trump economy is doing great, but it's really just a continuation of the Obama economy.
00:15:18.000 And, you know, as we know, generally speaking, over any time period, the economy is going to get better.
00:15:24.000 It's going to expand.
00:15:25.000 So you could kind of make that argument that every president is passing on the baton.
00:15:30.000 So how do you determine what's thanks to Trump and what's thanks to Obama?
00:15:35.000 And one way he was saying was, well, look at the difference between what was projected out once Obama left.
00:15:40.000 In other words, what we would expect if Obama's policy was continued uninterrupted.
00:15:45.000 And clearly, all the charts he's looking through show, well, we're actually doing a lot better than that.
00:15:50.000 Okay.
00:15:52.000 He did, go to that first chart, Ryan.
00:15:54.000 He did inherit a hell of a shit show from old Bush.
00:15:58.000 And when I saw this chart, no, not that one, the next one.
00:16:02.000 Yeah.
00:16:02.000 That one, we see George W. Bush just ruin everything with his open borders and his relentless foreign intervention.
00:16:09.000 And then Obama seems to be a 45-degree lineup.
00:16:14.000 Yeah, I mean, charts like that really do depend on the timeframe.
00:16:18.000 I mean, you could even get cute and do an extreme example and say, you know, if you look at the trend from 1950 to when Obama left office, he was just continuing a trend.
00:16:27.000 And, you know, the decline in the financial crisis looks almost like a bullet in comparison.
00:16:30.000 So as always, the timeframe does matter.
00:16:34.000 Well, what about this next chart?
00:16:35.000 Show the next chart, Ryan.
00:16:37.000 I'm going to hit you with three.
00:16:38.000 So there's that one where the Dow, I guess, is going up.
00:16:41.000 And then there's the median household income.
00:16:44.000 Oh, this one actually looks very good for Trump.
00:16:46.000 Sorry.
00:16:46.000 I get most of my economics information from Instagram.
00:16:49.000 So I'm not very reliable.
00:16:51.000 But the household income, unlike the previous chart we just saw, appears to have been plummeting way below 60K, down to 35.
00:17:01.000 And then it shoots up to an all-time high ever with Trump of, what is that, 61?
00:17:07.000 Yeah.
00:17:08.000 Yeah, I remember seeing that one from you, and I didn't think it was anything against Trump.
00:17:12.000 I mean, it technically ticks up a slight amount Obama's last year, but almost all of it was due to after Trump.
00:17:19.000 Yeah, I'm not using that as an example of pro-Obama.
00:17:21.000 I have a lot of pro-Trump charts in this, too.
00:17:23.000 Like, check out this one.
00:17:24.000 Again, my source is Reddit, but it is a fascinating chart.
00:17:31.000 This is the most interesting one because there definitely is an upward change.
00:17:35.000 I know it's been written on in crayon, but they're definitely from Obama's first day to Trump's to yesterday, there's definitely a lineup.
00:17:45.000 But if you look closer, you see very little action with Obama and a lot of action with Trump.
00:17:50.000 This chart actually contradicts the very first one I showed that was just a perfect like ski jump.
00:17:56.000 Right, yeah.
00:17:57.000 Yeah, and the thing is, I mean, you could directly link them to Trump's policies because, you know, the first hump or jump you see is mostly anticipation of his tax policies because corporations are going to be making more money overnight, therefore it should boost their stock prices.
00:18:13.000 And then, I mean, we see all these other effects.
00:18:15.000 You know, small business optimism, if you look at the chart of that, it pretty much is aligned directly upward once Trump takes office.
00:18:21.000 And that's not something you can write off as continuing, you know, the Obama years.
00:18:27.000 Yeah, I noticed that as a Canadian in Quebec, when there was a referendum and they were discussing the possibility of separating, the economy just started plummeting because businesses are very sensitive and they think, I don't want my head office to be in Quebec, and then Quebec is a new country.
00:18:42.000 So any kind of uncertainty makes investors skittish.
00:18:45.000 And I think Trump took away a lot of uncertainty.
00:18:50.000 Yeah, and it's weird.
00:18:51.000 I mean, there are other ways in which Trump creates uncertainty, like certainly with a lot of the trade and tariff talk, but it's a bit bizarre that the market does not react as harshly as you'd expect.
00:19:02.000 Meaning, I guess you could say people think that despite the more reckless or I guess you could say more certain reckless things he says or does, it's nothing in comparison to all the positive overall.
00:19:14.000 Right, and the reckless things he says are silly little celebrity gossip.
00:19:18.000 The real policies he makes are guttural changes you can feel in the pit of your gut.
00:19:22.000 All right, let's.
00:19:23.000 Exactly.
00:19:23.000 We can only take one more chart because we're airheads.
00:19:27.000 I saw you showing this chart in your article on, what was it?
00:19:31.000 What was it on?
00:19:32.000 Political Insider?
00:19:33.000 Political Insider.
00:19:34.000 That's it.
00:19:34.000 And it was projection with stimulus is the dark one.
00:19:39.000 Projection without stimulus is what he thought it would be.
00:19:43.000 And this is Obama's forecasting.
00:19:46.000 And then the actual unemployment after Obama's stimulus is through the roof.
00:19:52.000 Yeah.
00:19:52.000 So, I mean, if you or me were to become president two years into a recession or financial crisis, the economy would probably recover on its own eventually within a couple of years.
00:20:04.000 And you and I could technically claim, hey, we're presiding over a recovery.
00:20:08.000 But the question is, how does it compare to other recoveries?
00:20:11.000 And I think Obama's was the slowest since the end of World War II.
00:20:14.000 So, yes, you presided over the worst recession since then, but also the worst recovery.
00:20:20.000 So just because you recovered doesn't mean you're doing well.
00:20:22.000 It's sort of like they say, look at blacks.
00:20:24.000 They're doing much better off with all these liberal presidents.
00:20:27.000 And you go, no, actually, the black middle class has climbed much slower under Democrats than white middle class.
00:20:34.000 Right.
00:20:34.000 I mean, all the recession is, is six months where the economy can track.
00:20:38.000 So you can have an economy that's growing at a really, really tiny rate.
00:20:43.000 You're technically not in a recession, but it's nothing to celebrate.
00:20:46.000 So in that chart, you saw, that's how Obama pitched his stimulus.
00:20:49.000 He said, you know, with a stimulus, I think it's that we'll never see unemployment go about over 8%, but without one, it'll go above 9%.
00:20:58.000 Bing, bing, boring alert, bing, bong, bing, bong, bing, bong, bong, bing, bong.
00:21:04.000 Boring alert, boring alert.
00:21:08.000 Should I continue or is that we're ending the segment now?
00:21:10.000 That's the end of the segment.
00:21:12.000 What beer do you support?
00:21:15.000 I am Team Guinness, as you can see.
00:21:17.000 My camera kind of ruined the point of wearing this, I guess.
00:21:20.000 Yeah, I'm Team Bud.
00:21:22.000 I love a Guinness if you haven't eaten all day, but it's too much.
00:21:26.000 A Budweiser just sort of jumps into you like it's jumping into a swimming pool.
00:21:30.000 It's more, it's a meal drink for sure.
00:21:33.000 Okay.
00:21:34.000 Well, they both have their merits, but at the end of the day, I think both are delicious, exactly like you and I. Thanks for coming on the show.
00:21:42.000 I like you more than a friend.
00:21:43.000 Ditto.
00:21:50.000 So it appears that the man allegedly from Kenya is not responsible for Donald Trump's success.
00:22:00.000 Yeah, sorry, guys.
00:22:02.000 It's not Obama.
00:22:03.000 He's not the second coming of Christ.
00:22:05.000 God.
00:22:06.000 The way these...
00:22:11.000 Him and Justin Trudeau, the way they cream their jeans every time he walks by, and you just think this is not based on policy.
00:22:18.000 This is based on you thinking everyone else is racist and you want to rub an Obama in their face.
00:22:23.000 You don't actually like the actual guy.
00:22:25.000 And people do this all the time with surveys.
00:22:27.000 They go up and they say, they'll do Trump's tax plan and say it's Bernie's, and they go, sounds great.
00:22:32.000 I think 5% of the populace is truly academic and interested in politics.
00:22:38.000 The rest of them, I'm not mad at you.
00:22:40.000 I've sort of forced to have to know about it.
00:22:42.000 And even I'm a pretty ditzy.
00:22:44.000 But the rest of you are all pretending, especially women.
00:22:47.000 So many of them are just going by instincts and emotion.
00:22:51.000 And I don't know, I saw him kiss a baby.
00:22:54.000 I want to vote for him.
00:22:57.000 And we see this all the time with Wakanda and Africa.
00:23:01.000 Here's what actually happens in Africa, okay?
00:23:04.000 This is in the Congo.
00:23:06.000 There is a lynching epidemic going on there as penis theft panic hits the capital.
00:23:12.000 Now, this is kind of an innocuous website.
00:23:14.000 I'm overusing that word these days.
00:23:16.000 But it's the only one where they have this awesome picture.
00:23:19.000 Now, I don't know if this is a penis shrinker, but this is a place that is highly superstitious.
00:23:25.000 And even Christians will have a Juju man, a witch doctor that they believe has magical powers.
00:23:32.000 And their concern here is that witch doctors, juju men, are just snatching your penis.
00:23:38.000 Without grabbing it, by the way.
00:23:40.000 Just like, you know, got your nose.
00:23:42.000 They just got your penis.
00:23:43.000 It's a slightly longer thumb.
00:23:44.000 And they take your penis away.
00:23:45.000 And now you just have like, I don't know, an anus there.
00:23:48.000 What did they replace it with?
00:23:49.000 Or does blood shoot everywhere?
00:23:52.000 It's probably like a Kendall, just like a flat.
00:23:55.000 Maybe a little hair.
00:23:57.000 Hmm.
00:23:57.000 I know if I was in a job and they said, okay, welcome to the Juju Man Incorporated.
00:24:05.000 You'll get started making potions.
00:24:07.000 And now I'm being Jamaican with the poo-poo.
00:24:11.000 And if he said, oh, one thing about your job, you have to make men's penises disappear.
00:24:16.000 I'd go, I'm not doing that.
00:24:19.000 Sir, you need to do that in order to make the potion.
00:24:22.000 You have to take away the peepee.
00:24:23.000 And I'd go, yeah, I chose the wrong profession.
00:24:25.000 I didn't know that I would randomly be snatching penises from men using magic.
00:24:29.000 This is not what I signed up for.
00:24:30.000 I wanted to help babies like in a burning building and go and like land them safely.
00:24:37.000 But wait.
00:24:37.000 So when you do like a, if your African sounds like a Jamaican, you recalibrate with the poo-poo.
00:24:43.000 Yes.
00:24:44.000 That's how that works?
00:24:45.000 Yeah.
00:24:45.000 All imitations have a word, a little sentence, and it recalibrates your imitation.
00:24:50.000 For me, African, I just have to go, de poo-poo.
00:24:54.000 That's pretty good advice.
00:24:56.000 Your camera angle is too high.
00:24:57.000 It looks like you're at the bottom of a lake.
00:25:02.000 So yeah, these guys are getting murdered because other people think they're magic and they can take away your penis.
00:25:08.000 That is sub-Lord of the Flies.
00:25:11.000 This is much more common in Africa than Vibranium.
00:25:15.000 I find it amazing that this is the Congo because remember that woman who climbed up the Statue of Liberty?
00:25:20.000 I think she made it to the Statue of Liberty's toe, which isn't exactly climbing the Statue of Liberty.
00:25:26.000 And she was doing that to protest Trump's terrible immigration laws.
00:25:30.000 By the way, you are here because of our immigration laws and you're welcome for that.
00:25:34.000 She's a refugee from the Congo.
00:25:37.000 The Congo, even as far as Africa goes, is one of the worst places on earth.
00:25:42.000 They just had a war there where they had children being forced at gunpoint to rape their mothers and cannibalism and dismemberment.
00:25:55.000 What have I got there?
00:25:56.000 The testimony included boys being forced to rape their mothers, little girls being told witchcraft will allow them to catch bullets and women forced to choose gang rape or death.
00:26:06.000 So we get a refugee from that country and the first thing she does is complain about the horrible atrocities of the American human rights.
00:26:14.000 What it's a bizarre double standard that is summed up by the bigotry of low expectations and I think it's racist because you're not treating everyone equally.
00:26:26.000 You're going, yeah, you guys are great.
00:26:28.000 You're what kinda?
00:26:29.000 No, I don't care if Scotland is having children rape their mothers.
00:26:32.000 That place sucks.
00:26:34.000 I don't have different rules for different people.
00:26:36.000 And I certainly don't believe.
00:26:38.000 Oh, you got the Statue of Liberty there?
00:26:41.000 I certainly don't believe in praising a fictional place as an example of how awesome Africa.
00:26:47.000 Oh, it is actually pretty hard to get to the toe.
00:26:50.000 That is a ferret climb.
00:26:52.000 She just got bare feet on?
00:26:54.000 What are you doing?
00:26:56.000 What are you doing?
00:26:58.000 How about her pitch at El San?
00:27:00.000 I would like to come here and humiliate you despite the fact that I come from hell on earth.
00:27:06.000 Anyway, this is the moment you've all been waiting for.
00:27:08.000 And I put it at the end on purpose because I wanted you to have to watch the whole show and plow through those boring economic arguments that are a bit of tough love, a bitter pill that you must swallow.
00:27:19.000 Let us travel to the great Wakanda with the geniuses over at The Root.
00:27:26.000 *Sexy music*
00:27:32.000 Hey guys, Aquavi'al, Uuru.
00:27:34.000 I just want you to know that Wakanda exists.
00:27:37.000 It's not just in comic books.
00:27:39.000 It's a place that you can learn about.
00:27:41.000 And if you do a lot of research about it and you know the history of it, then you're smart and you're a historian.
00:27:46.000 And if you want to present that to the public, one fun way would be to talk about Wakanda as a vacation spot.
00:27:52.000 Now you can use all of your incredible information, all your history, all your empirical facts about Wakanda.
00:27:59.000 You can use them in a video.
00:28:00.000 Let's roll the tape.
00:28:02.000 Guys, I'm Kaya.
00:28:03.000 And I'm Andrew.
00:28:04.000 And when you're planning your next vacation, you shouldn't limit yourself to destinations that actually exist.
00:28:09.000 Yeah, because Punsakanda might be fun and Australia is always a hoop.
00:28:12.000 But the next time your wonderless strikes, there's a kingdom in the Marvel universe that offers wonders beyond your wildest dreams.
00:28:18.000 I mean, if they let you in.
00:28:19.000 If they let you in.
00:28:20.000 Just pause.
00:28:21.000 So what's happened here is this guy's read a bunch of comic books.
00:28:25.000 Probably not either of these two.
00:28:26.000 They have a different talent.
00:28:28.000 And he goes, I want to use this.
00:28:29.000 How do I use it?
00:28:30.000 And they said, I don't know.
00:28:32.000 We could make it a fake vacation spot, which is hilarious because it lampoons how many people are so serious about Wakanda.
00:28:39.000 I saw a professor on Twitter say, you know, Wakanda shows what would happen if the whites didn't colonize Africa.
00:28:47.000 Just to be clear here, Africa sucked rocks before we were there.
00:28:52.000 It sucked rocks while we were there, and it sucked rocks since we left.
00:28:56.000 Africa, for the most part, sucks.
00:29:00.000 It is one of the most backwards places.
00:29:02.000 They're still practicing slavery there.
00:29:04.000 The homophobia is through the charts.
00:29:05.000 All the little social justice warrior conceits you have apply in Africa a hundredfold.
00:29:12.000 Everything.
00:29:13.000 There's stuff.
00:29:14.000 People can't joke about it.
00:29:16.000 Like I noticed Trevor Noah started to joke about Africa when he first got the job at Daily Show, and then he went, this is getting a little too intense.
00:29:23.000 The horrors going on there, the raping of babies to cure AIDS, the dismembering albinos to get their blood because their blood is somehow magic.
00:29:32.000 That's not, that's too much.
00:29:34.000 I can't joke about it.
00:29:35.000 It's freaky.
00:29:36.000 And the same with South Africa.
00:29:38.000 They can't talk about the murders or the farm murders because they're too sadistic.
00:29:42.000 People can't be eating their dinner and have the news on.
00:29:45.000 But anyway, what I love about this video is they inadvertently justify nationalism.
00:29:51.000 Everything they like about Wakanda, if they'll let you in.
00:29:54.000 Yeah, Wakanda is alt-right.
00:29:56.000 They have thick, thick borders.
00:29:58.000 They don't allow anyone in.
00:30:00.000 They allow people to starve all around them.
00:30:02.000 Africa is the worst place on earth.
00:30:04.000 And they totally ignore that because they just care about their people.
00:30:08.000 It's actually a very white nationalist place, but it's black nationalist.
00:30:13.000 I think it's too extreme.
00:30:14.000 It's far right, as they say.
00:30:17.000 Of course, we're talking about Wakanda.
00:30:19.000 The tiny African nation is the richest country on Earth 6.6.
00:30:23.000 And we're not just talking about gross domestic product.
00:30:26.000 No, we're not, because for thousands of years, you can't talk about gross domestic product there.
00:30:31.000 There is no gross domestic product.
00:30:33.000 There's just gross lies, gross negligence of the truth.
00:30:37.000 Wakanda has developed a rich culture steeped in tradition, advanced in technology, and untouched by colonists, imperialism, and interlopers.
00:30:45.000 No, it hasn't.
00:30:49.000 Is that proof that they're really advanced?
00:30:51.000 There's no place on the planet.
00:30:53.000 Quite like Wakanda.
00:30:54.000 And now that they've joined the global community, there's never been a better time to visit.
00:30:58.000 That's why we're here with a guided tour of the wonderful world of Wakanda.
00:31:02.000 Travel guide.
00:31:03.000 The sights, the sounds, the superheroes from border to border.
00:31:07.000 Wakanda is a tourist's dream.
00:31:09.000 But before you trek through that techno-organic jungle or sample to the local cuisine, you should pay tribute to the nation's history with a visit to the greatest.
00:31:18.000 Just pause.
00:31:18.000 You should pay tribute to the nation's history.
00:31:20.000 So this is the whole reason that they made this thing is so they could show off that they read a bunch of comic books.
00:31:25.000 But it is amazing that they are so reverent about a place that does not exist.
00:31:35.000 It's embarrassing.
00:31:36.000 And the fact that you have to be this fantastical to be proud of Africa actually proves the inverse.
00:31:43.000 And it shows that Africa is a mess.
00:31:45.000 The only way I can like it is to make up crazy drawings to draw a better Africa.
00:31:52.000 That doesn't bode well.
00:31:53.000 When someone says, hey, what's your husband like?
00:31:56.000 Oh, he's a great guy.
00:31:56.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, what do you mean?
00:31:58.000 Well, here's a picture of him flying.
00:32:01.000 Oh, that's pretty cool.
00:32:02.000 Yeah, here's a picture of him lifting a million pounds.
00:32:05.000 He's strong.
00:32:06.000 What's the matter with your husband?
00:32:08.000 Why can't you show me any true things about him?
00:32:11.000 The great man.
00:32:12.000 That's where a massive meteor hit Earth thousands of years ago and forever changed the destiny of a small tribe that stumbled across it.
00:32:19.000 It was made of a strange, sound-absorbing alien metal called, you guessed it, vibranium, which made for excellent weapons.
00:32:26.000 You know what is also amazing about this?
00:32:28.000 Two things.
00:32:29.000 One, I believe Black Panther, the original comic series, was written by a short, fat Jewish man.
00:32:34.000 so you're not even in your own fantasy, you're in some Jewish guy's fantasy.
00:32:39.000 And secondly, I'm not very impressed.
00:32:41.000 You have a magic raw material, you have a magic, what do you call it when it's in the table of the elements, a magic mineral, a magic, a magic element?
00:32:52.000 I'm not impressed that this is all you can do is have one little tiny place.
00:32:56.000 Look at what Sweden does with watches.
00:32:59.000 Like all these other countries have thrived using actual materials that aren't magic.
00:33:04.000 And you have a place that the only reason you're doing well is because God gave you a superpower machine.
00:33:11.000 Look at this.
00:33:12.000 They mock us for using vibranium to make Captain America's shield, which, by the way, ended World War II, according to the lore.
00:33:20.000 And as we later learned, shields.
00:33:22.000 The most versatile substance on the planet.
00:33:24.000 And they used it to make a frisbee.
00:33:26.000 The radioactive vibranium mutated everything around it, creating the heart-shaped herb that gives a panther their power and turning a bunch of tribesmen into horrible, horrible monsters.
00:33:38.000 What's this got to do?
00:33:40.000 Oh, they said you have to learn the history of the place first.
00:33:42.000 He defeated the demons, locked down the great mouth.
00:33:44.000 I am embarrassed.
00:33:45.000 Can you just pause it here?
00:33:46.000 I am embarrassed at how much adults love superhero movies and talk about Marvel universes.
00:33:53.000 You realize that's a guy who's trying to entertain children going, yeah, and then there's suicidal albino apes that the tribe ate their blood and they became like them.
00:34:07.000 And then Black Panther, he had to get the super diamonds out of the magic golden eagle's eyeballs.
00:34:15.000 I don't know.
00:34:15.000 I'm on a deadline.
00:34:16.000 And you're sitting there going, oh, really?
00:34:18.000 What year was that?
00:34:22.000 This is hilarious and embarrassing.
00:34:25.000 And is that guy, why is that guy here?
00:34:27.000 Is he considered black?
00:34:28.000 Or is it because he's Hispanic and gay?
00:34:30.000 He fills in a bunch of, checks off a bunch of boxes.
00:34:32.000 They've checked off all the boxes, but knowing stuff that you should be able to relay to people.
00:34:38.000 We're not going to make it through this whole video.
00:34:40.000 It's like 15 minutes of comic book facts.
00:34:43.000 Local tribes under his banner to become one nation.
00:34:46.000 And thanks to all that vibranium, which is so rare that it's worth about $10,000 per gram.
00:34:52.000 They got money.
00:34:53.000 Money.
00:34:54.000 Money.
00:34:55.000 They got those skrillions.
00:34:56.000 No, they don't.
00:34:57.000 A guy drew a picture of money.
00:34:58.000 That doesn't mean it's money.
00:35:00.000 This is like, can you just pause it here?
00:35:02.000 And we're going to have to jump ahead.
00:35:04.000 This reminds me of when my doorman was taught, he was reading a book, and it was a biography of the dude from Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal Lecter.
00:35:11.000 And he goes, whew, man, this guy is scary.
00:35:16.000 And I go, but what is it based on a real guy?
00:35:19.000 I didn't know that.
00:35:19.000 And he goes, no, no, no.
00:35:20.000 So you're reading a biography of a fictional character and you're scared?
00:35:24.000 What are you scared of?
00:35:26.000 And this is him as a teenager.
00:35:29.000 So even in the made-up land, he can't get you.
00:35:32.000 Jason and Freddie aren't going to get you.
00:35:34.000 Wakanda doesn't exist.
00:35:35.000 All right, let's skip ahead here.
00:35:39.000 All right, so this is a good part.
00:35:40.000 Stop, stop.
00:35:43.000 So they just talked about his army.
00:35:45.000 They were concubines, these bald black women.
00:35:48.000 Power.
00:35:50.000 Who were they originally they were designed to be the wives of the king, but then they became his secret army that can beat up anyone with their spears.
00:35:59.000 If you pull a gun on them, they will throw the spear through the gun, and you will be left with nothing but their poo-poo.
00:36:08.000 And then so they talk about them, and then they talk about how evil white people, some South African guy, yeah, that's who we should be beating up on right now, is white South Africans.
00:36:16.000 They have it too good.
00:36:18.000 Especially the farmers, those spoiled brats.
00:36:21.000 But I like this part.
00:36:22.000 We'll just end with this.
00:36:24.000 They talk about how now that Wakanda's been discovered by the world, they're under a lot of pressure to give, and it's going to ruin them because there's all these disgusting, horrible plunderers that want to take the wealth of Wakanda.
00:36:36.000 And now that the borders are open and they're going to the United Nations and stuff, everyone wants a piece of Wakanda.
00:36:43.000 Ring any bells!
00:36:45.000 Ring any bells!
00:36:48.000 We don't like the UN.
00:36:49.000 We don't want to share our wealth.
00:36:51.000 Not only am I an isolationist when it comes to walls, I'm an isolationist when it comes to economics.
00:36:57.000 And that is because I have studied in depth the history of Wakanda.
00:37:03.000 And globalism doesn't pan out well.
00:37:06.000 This is a nationalist film that we still, by the way, I'm not digging up some ancient video.
00:37:11.000 This is a new video.
00:37:12.000 We are still talking about how awesome Wakanda is on a daily basis.
00:37:20.000 And it's got some swag.
00:37:21.000 That's his little sister who's a technological genius.
00:37:25.000 Sorry, go back a bit.
00:37:26.000 I shouldn't have been talking.
00:37:29.000 And he has some swag.
00:37:31.000 And it's got some swag.
00:37:33.000 And God knows he's going to need it because ever since Wakanda entered the world state, it's been a big target for evil ass who want to exploit it.
00:37:41.000 It's still one of the safest, most secure countries in existence, but during your trip, it wouldn't hurt to look over your shoulder for Wakanda's most wanted.
00:37:49.000 Okay.
00:37:50.000 Anyway, then they go off and talk about evil white people and a few, some guy who ate a gorilla's blood or something like that, drank a gorilla's blood and he became evil.
00:38:00.000 You guys are so bad at this, you lefty fantasizers.
00:38:05.000 Even your fantasies are a complete mess.
00:38:08.000 And unfortunately for you, a thing called reality exists.
00:38:12.000 And you can't take a vacation from that.
00:38:20.000 And we're done, folks.
00:38:21.000 I wanted to end with this video.
00:38:22.000 This is a guy.
00:38:23.000 I used to do this with my son all the time.
00:38:25.000 Kids go through a Spider-Man phase.
00:38:27.000 My son was so into Spider-Man, he wore out threadbare about three different costumes.
00:38:33.000 But if you're a good dad, you do this with your five-year-old little Spider-Man.
00:38:37.000 *laughter*
00:38:44.000 That's sarcastic.
00:38:46.000 Guess what's pissing me off right now?
00:38:50.000 Can you guess?
00:38:56.000 The names on the right, the comments showing?
00:38:58.000 Nope.
00:38:59.000 Is it Content in the video.
00:39:01.000 Yes.
00:39:04.000 The color of the walls.
00:39:06.000 Shut up.
00:39:07.000 Here's what's pissing me off about this: don't laugh.
00:39:11.000 You're ruining the whole thing.
00:39:13.000 He doesn't think it's funny.
00:39:15.000 Haha, look at me.
00:39:16.000 I'm Spider-Man.
00:39:17.000 He thinks he's Spider-Man.
00:39:18.000 He's crawling along the ceiling, and then he shoots a web and he goes flying over.
00:39:23.000 Kids hate being cute, especially when they're dressed up as a badass Spider-Man.
00:39:28.000 You have to close your mouth like this so you don't laugh.
00:39:31.000 Look away if you must.
00:39:33.000 Go into another room.
00:39:34.000 But you just shattered the whole thing.
00:39:36.000 You just ruined his whole awesome adventure as Spider-Man by going, ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:39:41.000 Oh my God, you're adorable.
00:39:42.000 You're not a crime fighter.
00:39:44.000 You're just a cute little kid.
00:39:46.000 Shut up.
00:39:46.000 Stop wrecking things for kids.