Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - October 17, 2018


Ep 198 | Oh Rein It In | Get Off My Lawn


Episode Stats


Length

49 minutes

Words per minute

174.4407

Word count

8,629

Sentence count

868

Harmful content

Misogyny

60

sentences flagged

Hate speech

36

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this week's episode of the podcast, we have special guest Ryan Ketsu River on the show to talk about his life growing up in a Puerto Rican household in the late 80s and early 90s. He talks about how he was raised by his Puerto Rican grandmother, how he got his name, and how he ended up in the music business.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:19.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin McGuinness: No matter how hard I try, you keep pushing me aside, and I can't break through.
00:00:47.000 That's a literally gay song. 0.63
00:00:51.000 The reason I chose that song is because I recently discovered that Ryan cried when his cassette single of that song got eaten up by his cheap tape player, is that correct?
00:01:03.000 Yes, but it's I didn't cry tears of joy when my grandmother fixed it with an, she ironed it.
00:01:11.000 That's the tenacity of the Puerto Ricans. 1.00
00:01:14.000 She put it on low heat, put some sheets of paper on it.
00:01:17.000 It wasn't a little bit gorbled in one part.
00:01:20.000 Yeah, you know, I was so happy to have it back at the time that I think I was fine.
00:01:27.000 All right, let me explain something to you.
00:01:29.000 If that was your favorite song, when you were six or down, you have a get out of jail free card and no one's mad.
00:01:41.000 If you were seven, we have issues. 1.00
00:01:44.000 Nine and up, that's not acceptable.
00:01:48.000 Yeah, I think I was in the sixth grade.
00:01:51.000 Sixth grade, seventh grade.
00:01:53.000 No, not seventh grade, sixth grade.
00:01:55.000 So an 11-year-old.
00:01:57.000 Yeah, that's not bad.
00:01:59.000 No, this is what happened.
00:02:00.000 And your father had already left at that point.
00:02:02.000 Oh, yeah, you know, he was.
00:02:03.000 He was gone at what age?
00:02:05.000 I don't even remember.
00:02:06.000 I think before I was like one, he was just, I can't do this baby thing.
00:02:10.000 Oh, he really knows how to stick around?
00:02:12.000 No, he was like, I'm certainly not here anymore.
00:02:14.000 Would you say that the fact that your mother was Puerto Rican and that not being unusual in their culture really helped his case?
00:02:21.000 Yeah.
00:02:21.000 They're just like, see you later, man.
00:02:23.000 Yeah, you get three separations, and then they were like, all right, this is number one.
00:02:28.000 And, you know, I come from a family of grandfathers being married into the family.
00:02:34.000 That's why my great-grandfather was Greek.
00:02:36.000 You know, so we don't share any blood, but he's my great-grandfather.
00:02:39.000 It's like all that remarrying thing happens a lot.
00:02:42.000 But your mother never remarried?
00:02:44.000 No.
00:02:45.000 Isn't that kind of negligent in a way?
00:02:48.000 For me to not have a father figure?
00:02:49.000 Yeah, I think that no matter what happens, whether you married a loser or a gorgeous Japanese hairdresser or the guy dies, I think you're morally obligated to get over it and get out there on the scene.
00:03:01.000 Yeah.
00:03:02.000 Yeah, she had some boyfriends that were pretty long-term, pretty good role models.
00:03:08.000 But nothing marriage-wise.
00:03:11.000 Do you still keep in touch with those guys?
00:03:13.000 No, but I was thinking about reaching out to one of them.
00:03:16.000 He's a musician and artist.
00:03:18.000 He had a gig with Contract Painting Planet Hollywood.
00:03:22.000 And he would get flown all over the place and paint and do art.
00:03:25.000 And he was a punk rocker in the band called Sewage.
00:03:27.000 You ever hear Sewage?
00:03:29.000 Tiny bit.
00:03:30.000 Really?
00:03:30.000 Yeah, you're a wannabe.
00:03:33.000 You're a wannabe.
00:03:34.000 Is your mom cool?
00:03:36.000 Yeah, that's too cool.
00:03:37.000 She sings like this isn't cool at her age, but she sings a lot of karaoke on this app.
00:03:46.000 That's all she does, though.
00:03:46.000 Okay, everyone does.
00:03:48.000 It's pathetic, actually.
00:03:49.000 But she was pathetic.
00:03:51.000 So what age was that stepdad with you?
00:03:54.000 Up until maybe like 10?
00:04:01.000 So like 1 to 10?
00:04:02.000 8 to 10?
00:04:03.000 Oh, 8 to 10.
00:04:04.000 He was around.
00:04:05.000 No, no, he left around when I was 8 to 10.
00:04:08.000 I remember him being around.
00:04:09.000 So we had him like 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
00:04:11.000 For a while, yeah.
00:04:12.000 Yeah, since I can remember.
00:04:14.000 He's my stepfather.
00:04:14.000 I would ring him up.
00:04:15.000 Ring him up.
00:04:16.000 Yeah, he's a cool guy.
00:04:17.000 All right, that's enough Ryan Ketsu River for one day.
00:04:20.000 This is the cover of the post.
00:04:23.000 Oh, Rainin In.
00:04:24.000 Trump calls her horse face.
00:04:29.000 I can kind of see it.
00:04:31.000 Stormy calls him tiny.
00:04:33.000 Well, I can't see it, so I don't know.
00:04:35.000 But he's still fighting with the porn star.
00:04:39.000 This is a common thing I've noticed with the left, your tiny penis. 1.00
00:04:43.000 That comes up quite a bit.
00:04:45.000 And I don't quite get it.
00:04:48.000 I mean, it's not something you want to bark up with me.
00:04:51.000 I'll just warn you right away.
00:04:52.000 Scottish people, just drop it. 1.00
00:04:54.000 Trust me, you don't want to pursue that.
00:04:56.000 But it's probably projection.
00:04:59.000 The other thing they say is like, you've never been laid.
00:05:01.000 And, oh, you're just, you've been rejected.
00:05:03.000 And I don't know, a lot of sexual stuff about what a virgin you are.
00:05:08.000 Incel comes up quite a bit.
00:05:09.000 They like incel.
00:05:10.000 But yeah, tiny penis is a common insult with the left. 1.00
00:05:14.000 And oh, you have that big gun because you're compensating or that big car.
00:05:17.000 It's a weird thing to pursue.
00:05:19.000 A penis you've never seen.
00:05:22.000 And what's the implication there?
00:05:24.000 I've seen this pattern here.
00:05:25.000 So what you're saying is you've seen tons and tons of penises?
00:05:28.000 Like you'd have to see.
00:05:31.000 There's a study recently that said 16 million Americans think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
00:05:38.000 Now what they really did is they did a test of 1,000 people and nine of them said that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
00:05:49.000 Now you can probably pull that up, but they extrapolate that and then to say 16 million Americans, which I'd rather you didn't do that.
00:05:57.000 That's not fair.
00:05:58.000 You just say 9% of Americans.
00:06:00.000 That's kind of different than 16 because you're giving your 1,000 litmus test or your 1,000 sample set too much power.
00:06:08.000 But chocolate milk does come from brown cows.
00:06:14.000 Cows are brown.
00:06:16.000 Now, I've seen some black cows.
00:06:20.000 I've seen some cows that have very little brown on them and they're mostly white.
00:06:26.000 But chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
00:06:29.000 The study didn't specify, do you think it comes from brown cows?
00:06:32.000 Because they're brown.
00:06:34.000 That's different.
00:06:35.000 Chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
00:06:38.000 Dog pea comes from yellow dogs.
00:06:42.000 You know what I mean?
00:06:44.000 Nice science, by the way.
00:06:45.000 And that's by the way, how you get grants.
00:06:47.000 You come up with something silly like that, and you get money.
00:06:49.000 That's why people bitch about climate change because it pays the bills. 1.00
00:06:52.000 Anyway, we've got a very hot show for you today.
00:06:57.000 I want to talk about some silly, irrelevant stuff.
00:07:00.000 Just like the reason that the post is this show is the post starts out with silly, fluffy stuff like big news, suit gaga, holy moly, Marilyn.
00:07:10.000 And then the TI video where he's totally exploiting Melania.
00:07:16.000 And then they get heavier and heavier as you get to the back.
00:07:18.000 Then it's just sports.
00:07:19.000 We don't do the sports part.
00:07:20.000 But I like that.
00:07:22.000 I used to do that with Vice magazine.
00:07:24.000 Keep it light at the beginning.
00:07:25.000 Reel them in.
00:07:26.000 Here, here's a picture of a piece of cheese shaped like Berry Manilow.
00:07:30.000 And then you slowly go, what's going on with these teachers having sex with kids?
00:07:34.000 I want to talk about that later on.
00:07:36.000 I'm deeply disturbed by that.
00:07:39.000 We've definitely moved the camera over because the frame-up seems quite different now.
00:07:43.000 But whatever.
00:07:46.000 First story, actually, is this.
00:07:49.000 Lady Gaga wore this suit to some awards thing. 0.99
00:07:56.000 What is it?
00:07:57.000 The celebration of women in Hollywood.
00:07:59.000 God, how bored are we of this?
00:08:01.000 There's way too many women in Hollywood. 1.00
00:08:04.000 You're in action movies now.
00:08:05.000 Charlize Therone is James Bond's super chick beating up 10 Russians. 0.97
00:08:10.000 You know what I had to do the other day?
00:08:11.000 I go, all right, look, I need men to be men in action movies.
00:08:14.000 I like seeing men beat up men.
00:08:16.000 I don't like seeing women beat up men because it's ridiculous. 0.94
00:08:18.000 As Nick DiPaolo says, my suspension of disbelief can't handle it.
00:08:23.000 But we keep pushing for this.
00:08:25.000 So I said, all right, I'll watch Luke Cage.
00:08:27.000 I'll watch a, I can identify with a black, six foot five black man from the hood who just got out of prison.
00:08:34.000 I can identify with him more than some women.
00:08:36.000 So I was watching, and it's really good.
00:08:38.000 It's a great, it's well written.
00:08:39.000 It's a superhero kind of thing, but he's impervious to bullets, this guy, and he cleans up the neighborhood.
00:08:44.000 Fine, I'll take it.
00:08:45.000 It's action.
00:08:46.000 He beats up dudes.
00:08:47.000 He throws them around.
00:08:48.000 So I keep watching and keep watching.
00:08:49.000 Around episode seven or eight, there's this cop who realizes he's a good guy, even though everyone thinks he's a criminal.
00:08:55.000 And she loses her arm in the show, which is a pretty brave thing to do, because now you've got a green screen at an arm for the rest of the season.
00:09:02.000 So I appreciate that.
00:09:03.000 All right, you guys are working hard.
00:09:04.000 They show a scene where she is in training with her Asian MMA instructor.
00:09:11.000 They're both very attractive.
00:09:12.000 The Asian chick looks like a supermodel. 1.00
00:09:14.000 And they're training their moose.
00:09:19.000 Then they go out for drinks, right?
00:09:21.000 I'm still like, I don't see that very often.
00:09:23.000 Sorry, ladies. 1.00
00:09:24.000 You tend not to go out for a couple of whiskeys in the middle of the day.
00:09:28.000 So these two brassy broads go out for whiskeys. 1.00
00:09:33.000 Just not even rocks.
00:09:35.000 Just neat, just bourbon neat.
00:09:37.000 Okay.
00:09:38.000 Now my disbelief is like, we cannot hold on.
00:09:41.000 We cannot hold on.
00:09:42.000 What does he say?
00:09:45.000 To the captain?
00:09:46.000 Captain, yeah.
00:09:48.000 I was going to say, we can't hold on, William Shatner.
00:09:50.000 I don't watch that nerd show.
00:09:53.000 So then, for no apparent reason, these tough guys playing Pool, and we're in the Bronx, by the way.
00:10:01.000 No, we're in Harlem, sorry.
00:10:02.000 These tough guys playing Pool decide to pick a fight with these two girls. 1.00
00:10:06.000 And the black girl with one arm starts kicking the living crap out of these dudes. 1.00
00:10:11.000 Circle kicks, sorry, roundhouse kicks, kick him in the nuts, knocking them all out. 0.82
00:10:16.000 She has one arm.
00:10:17.000 Then she takes breaks to go and have another sip of whiskey during the melee, during the fighting.
00:10:23.000 And her Asian buddy is at the bar like this the whole time. 0.66
00:10:29.000 Oh, great.
00:10:29.000 Bored.
00:10:31.000 Dude, you could have Connor McGregor and the kebab guy at the bar.
00:10:36.000 If they were attacked by 10 guys, they'd be pooping in their pants.
00:10:39.000 Connor would be full on.
00:10:40.000 Kebab guy would be full on.
00:10:41.000 There'd be no taking breaks for drinks.
00:10:44.000 And they would both likely get beat up.
00:10:46.000 MMA fighters are the best fighters in the world.
00:10:49.000 You can't really beat up seven or eight guys.
00:10:52.000 Because when you're dealing with two, someone jumps on your back.
00:10:54.000 And once two or three people get you, you're done.
00:10:56.000 That's insane.
00:10:58.000 And so I was like, well, then we're done with that show.
00:11:01.000 So no, women don't need to be in action movies. 1.00
00:11:03.000 Why are we selling?
00:11:04.000 And that's why, by the way, Lady Gaga wore the pants. 1.00
00:11:07.000 Because she wanted to say, women should be able to wear the pants metaphorically, right? 1.00
00:11:12.000 Well, let me tell you why this bothers me.
00:11:15.000 And I'll pay you a million dollars if you can guess right now.
00:11:18.000 One, two, three.
00:11:20.000 Sorry, didn't guess.
00:11:22.000 This meme starts out where she goes, she looks like the 2013 basketball picks, the draft, the NBA draft.
00:11:30.000 And so they're making fun of Lady Gaga's oversized suit because it reminds them of these NBA drafts.
00:11:36.000 Now, you may have to move over a bit so that people can see the suits.
00:11:40.000 And my little frame there isn't getting in the way.
00:11:42.000 I'm not a basketball guy.
00:11:44.000 They're freaks.
00:11:44.000 I don't like it.
00:11:46.000 They're seven foot tall men playing a game.
00:11:48.000 So it's just how tall you are.
00:11:50.000 Didn't they get some guy in China who's like 10 feet tall and now he wins all the games?
00:11:54.000 It's just, they're just pot plants.
00:11:55.000 They're like bred genetic weirdos.
00:11:58.000 So wait, go back.
00:12:01.000 Apparently, it's a known thing that basketball players look ridiculous in suits because the suits are always ill-fitting.
00:12:08.000 That's what pisses me off.
00:12:12.000 Where are the tailors?
00:12:14.000 Where's the craftsman?
00:12:16.000 My suit guy is in Hong Kong, and I asked him once, I go, why do I have to have someone fly in from Hong Kong to design my suits?
00:12:25.000 Where are all the good tailors here?
00:12:26.000 Well, there are good tailors in New York, but a nice suit is like $3,000 to $7,000.
00:12:32.000 No.
00:12:32.000 You know, normally priced guys.
00:12:34.000 And he goes, it's a dying trade.
00:12:37.000 It's a dying skill.
00:12:39.000 And it clearly is.
00:12:40.000 These guys have millions and millions of dollars.
00:12:42.000 And look at the suits they get made.
00:12:45.000 The legs are just longer.
00:12:49.000 It's not like basketball players' legs are super fat and then super skinny and then super fat and then there's a big tumor on one of them.
00:12:55.000 They're just normal man legs stretched out.
00:12:58.000 So just do the normal design, but stretch It out.
00:13:00.000 Why can't they wear it?
00:13:01.000 Show me all those suits.
00:13:03.000 That okay.
00:13:04.000 Look at his pants.
00:13:06.000 What is going on?
00:13:07.000 Why can't a tailor do that?
00:13:09.000 How is that rocket science?
00:13:12.000 Look at that guy on the far left or the far right, depending how you're watching this.
00:13:16.000 The black dude with the light gray suit that doesn't have a normal lapel. 0.94
00:13:20.000 Look at his pants.
00:13:21.000 They look like curtains.
00:13:23.000 Now, it's possible that basketball players aren't good at finding good tailors.
00:13:28.000 I kind of doubt that.
00:13:30.000 Like, they have assistants, don't they?
00:13:32.000 Those assistants are probably some of the highest paid assistants in the world.
00:13:35.000 They probably make $100,000.
00:13:37.000 So you say to your assistant, hey, I need you to get me a giant suit or have a guy come by, do all my measurements, and make pants that don't look like curtains.
00:13:46.000 Even the Blazers, what's with this Zoot suit crap?
00:13:49.000 And it's not just black guys.
00:13:51.000 They all look ridiculous.
00:13:53.000 And I'm pissed off at American tailors.
00:13:55.000 And if any American tailors are watching, please contact me.
00:14:00.000 Tell me what the hell is going on.
00:14:02.000 What's that?
00:14:04.000 I think that's from the same shoot.
00:14:05.000 And they just Photoshop Lady Gaga, Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump in it.
00:14:09.000 Donald Trump's pants aren't great either, but he is kind of strangely shaped.
00:14:12.000 He's kind of like fat and then normal.
00:14:15.000 Pig on a stick, we used to call them in high school.
00:14:20.000 Keep going.
00:14:20.000 Do you have any others?
00:14:22.000 Okay.
00:14:26.000 And then, you know what we should pull up?
00:14:27.000 We should pull up this TI video.
00:14:28.000 How are we doing for time?
00:14:29.000 We're doing pretty good.
00:14:32.000 Pull up this TI video.
00:14:33.000 So he just did a video totally sexualizing the first lady of the United States.
00:14:40.000 I don't care what you think of her or what you think of Trump.
00:14:42.000 This is unprecedented.
00:14:43.000 Try doing this to Nancy Reagan or Michelle Obama.
00:14:46.000 Can you imagine they did this?
00:14:48.000 A white redneck country singer did this to Michelle Obama? 1.00
00:14:53.000 It doesn't fit in your cranium, does it?
00:14:55.000 You cannot get it in there.
00:14:57.000 And it's funny that everyone is complaining about what a Nazi fascist Trump is.
00:15:02.000 Yet T.I.'s not going to jail.
00:15:05.000 He'll suffer no reprimand for totally sexually degrading the First Lady of the United States.
00:15:11.000 So guys, we've got a pretty free country here.
00:15:14.000 I mean, there's some real problems with free speech, but in certain areas, there appear to be no bounds.
00:15:22.000 As the president of the United States, most powerful country in the world in a rap video, they just said he didn't go with Melania.
00:15:32.000 Beginning of the song.
00:15:34.000 Oh, where could Millenia be?
00:15:36.000 Wait.
00:15:37.000 Oh, T.I. is in the White House.
00:15:39.000 And he's so powerful, he just hangs out there.
00:15:42.000 Secret Service goes, uh-oh, T.I.'s here.
00:15:44.000 And he says, shh, you shut your mouth.
00:15:47.000 It's like David Bowie.
00:15:49.000 Then the first lady shows up. 1.00
00:15:51.000 I'm going to be having sex with a rapper in the Oval Office. 0.99
00:15:53.000 I don't want to be interrupted for the next minute.
00:15:57.000 He's got a cigar there.
00:15:58.000 This cigar thing, that's kind of like a humble brag, saying he's a Clinton guy.
00:16:04.000 naked Hello, everybody.
00:16:13.000 So while Donald Trump plays golf, I am having very elaborate and, what's the word, theatrical sex with the First Lady of the United States. 0.89
00:16:23.000 I'm not saying that.
00:16:26.000 But how's that for an F you to America? 1.00
00:16:34.000 We really, we got so many ingrates.
00:16:36.000 Are you pulling up his tiny wife, Tiny? 1.00
00:16:40.000 She is a four, five? 0.99
00:16:42.000 Yeah.
00:16:45.000 But I appreciate that they've stayed married.
00:16:47.000 That can't be easy.
00:16:49.000 That's funny.
00:16:50.000 The model that he had playing Melania was about 30 times hotter than his wife. 1.00
00:16:55.000 I mean, I'm not going to sit here and disparage his wife.
00:16:58.000 But it's weird that he's sitting there bragging.
00:17:02.000 Whoa, that's a rough one.
00:17:04.000 It's weird that he's sitting here bragging about how he gets to screw the president's hot wife.
00:17:10.000 I don't know.
00:17:12.000 Anyway, that's in the news.
00:17:15.000 We also, speaking of sexuality, have a bit of a sad moment.
00:17:20.000 I don't want to pour out any for my dead homie because this is a white desk and I don't want to use coffee to stain it. 0.98
00:17:27.000 But Dennis Hoff has passed, doing what he loved.
00:17:31.000 Saw some comedian on Twitter say, doing what he loved, getting publicity.
00:17:36.000 But he died at the Bunny Ranch.
00:17:40.000 Oh, is this from the Daily Mail?
00:17:41.000 These are the Daily Mail pictures.
00:17:44.000 Am I the only one who just feels kind of intense sadness when you see the woman at the ranch?
00:17:50.000 That's Ron Jeremy, famous porn star, a well-endowed Jewish man who was close friends with Dennis Hoff.
00:17:56.000 Dennis Hoff was, I believe, running for some sort of political thing in Nevada.
00:18:02.000 He had a legal brothel there where men would go in and fornicate. 1.00
00:18:07.000 And they'd be having sex with, come on, let's cut the crap, damaged woman. 1.00
00:18:11.000 No, no, just very libidinous woman. 1.00
00:18:14.000 Libidinous woman have lots of sex with their significant other. 1.00
00:18:14.000 No. 1.00
00:18:17.000 Oh, look who that is, the Hollywood madam, Heidi Fleis. 1.00
00:18:20.000 Now, I know the running gag is, whoa, she looks like crap, man. 0.83
00:18:26.000 And that, she aged badly.
00:18:28.000 Guys, she's like 55 years old, okay?
00:18:31.000 Ladies, I want to see you when you're 55. 1.00
00:18:33.000 It's sort of like, who's the blonde chick? 0.98
00:18:36.000 My brain sucks on this show.
00:18:37.000 Who's always with Trump, like Trump's top advisor?
00:18:40.000 They always say she looks like crap. 1.00
00:18:42.000 Sarah Sanders?
00:18:43.000 Sarah Hugby Sanders is one, yes.
00:18:44.000 And I'm sorry she's not a 10.
00:18:46.000 But the blonde one. 1.00
00:18:47.000 Oh, I know who you're talking about, too.
00:18:49.000 Mary Kathleen Titley, or whatever her name is. 0.92
00:18:52.000 That's pretty close.
00:18:53.000 That's basically it.
00:18:55.000 And they go, look at what a hag she is. 1.00
00:18:57.000 She's like 58.
00:18:58.000 Let me see you when you're 58.
00:19:00.000 I'm 48, and I look like I was crapped out of a rat's ass.
00:19:04.000 I can't wait till you're 58, Mr. Gorgeous.
00:19:06.000 But yeah, Heidi Fleis has aged.
00:19:08.000 Let's look at her again.
00:19:10.000 And that's, you know, normal.
00:19:11.000 That's what happens.
00:19:12.000 You lose the moisture in your skin.
00:19:14.000 But it is worth noting what an insane hoodie she was back in the day. 1.00
00:19:20.000 Can you pull up some old pictures of her?
00:19:22.000 She was something else, to quote Eddie Cochran.
00:19:25.000 My type exactly.
00:19:26.000 I like brunettes with something kind of weird and Unusual about them, like big teeth. 1.00
00:19:32.000 Oh, that's a good one.
00:19:34.000 I like the glasses.
00:19:36.000 Make that take it.
00:19:37.000 They don't have to be perfectly centered.
00:19:40.000 She looks like she's from an Archie comic. 0.68
00:19:43.000 And that's probably pretty old.
00:19:44.000 That's probably 35.
00:19:47.000 Now you're getting old, dude.
00:19:49.000 Well, there she is in court. 1.00
00:19:51.000 So she was like a pimp to the stars.
00:19:55.000 That's a little bit less sad, I guess, if there's prostitutes who sleep with Sean Penn and Ben Affleck and stuff.
00:20:03.000 Am I a disgusting sexist pig for saying that?
00:20:06.000 Just like a bunch of strangers at the Nevada Ranch seems to me sadder than, say, Eddie Murphy or something.
00:20:12.000 I don't know.
00:20:15.000 Actually, I think I remembered her a lot prettier than she was.
00:20:17.000 That's not really driving me nuts.
00:20:19.000 And she has that handsome thing I don't like with the cowcatcher chin.
00:20:22.000 All right, that's enough of that.
00:20:24.000 Let's get serious for a second here.
00:20:26.000 Justin Trudeau, now the people exaggerate this.
00:20:29.000 They say he's banned the terms Mr. and Mrs. That's not quite the truth, I'm afraid.
00:20:35.000 He said Service Canada employees who interact with the public, so just his employees, are being asked to stay away from terms like Mr., Mrs., father, and mother, and to use general neutral terms in their place.
00:20:50.000 The CBC has learned.
00:20:52.000 Now, I remember him saying this a while ago, that learning what to call people is the greatest, no, learning what to call, wait a minute, what did he say exactly?
00:21:00.000 Something like learning how to identify our surroundings.
00:21:03.000 Yeah, that was it.
00:21:04.000 Will be the greatest challenge of our generation.
00:21:08.000 And pull up that Instagram thing that it was actually free Tommy Robinson who came up with showing all the different things that you can come up with to replace it.
00:21:16.000 So skip over a couple.
00:21:20.000 Another one.
00:21:22.000 Yeah, blow that up.
00:21:24.000 So a spouse, instead of husband or wife, all of this stuff, by the way, is just less informative.
00:21:30.000 Now I don't know if you're talking about husband or wife.
00:21:32.000 And if we're in gay marriage and someone seems gay and they say, my spouse, you imagine a male, right? 0.83
00:21:38.000 You're married to a man.
00:21:40.000 But then you go, well, maybe I don't know if you're closeted now.
00:21:43.000 Because you're like, hi, I had the most insane time.
00:21:46.000 I went to the Hamptons and, of course, I was with my spouse as per huge.
00:21:50.000 Now, if that's a woman, you'd go, oh, my God, this guy doesn't even know he's gay. 1.00
00:21:55.000 What a trip.
00:21:56.000 But if it's a man, you go, oh, that's a gay dude married to a man. 0.99
00:22:00.000 I need information.
00:22:01.000 It's sort of like this whole thing with the cops where they go, the assailant was wearing a black sweatshirt and had shoes on and was running very fast.
00:22:11.000 Race, gender, please? 0.91
00:22:14.000 I might be looking at the perp right now.
00:22:16.000 You haven't told me anything.
00:22:21.000 You may have noticed, by the way, that I have an awesome pen in my hand.
00:22:25.000 I'm willing to show it to you.
00:22:33.000 You can hear me?
00:22:44.000 Yeah, I can.
00:22:45.000 Look, I have the logo on there, right?
00:22:48.000 And look at this.
00:22:49.000 Look at that tip.
00:22:54.000 That's incredible quality.
00:22:56.000 That camera is amazing, isn't it?
00:22:58.000 Men made those, by the way.
00:22:59.000 Here, take this back.
00:23:05.000 You want to know the mentality behind this?
00:23:08.000 I am sick to death of never having a pen.
00:23:12.000 I am sick to death of running to-do lists with my children's crayons.
00:23:16.000 I am sick to death of writing my signature on important documents with a fluorescent pink marker.
00:23:22.000 I never have a good pen.
00:23:25.000 And so I came up with a solution, and I got it from my mother.
00:23:28.000 My mother, when I started losing my eyesight, you know, like you, no one tells you this, by the way.
00:23:31.000 When you turn 40, you can't read without reading glasses.
00:23:34.000 No one tells you that.
00:23:35.000 So I hit that age, and I'm always looking for glasses.
00:23:38.000 And my mother goes, look, son, here's the secret, by the way.
00:23:41.000 You get a big, you go to the dollar store, and all, you know, and you get about 50 reading glasses.
00:23:50.000 And then in each room, you just lay like an Easter egg hunt.
00:23:53.000 You lay about three pair in each room.
00:23:55.000 boop, boop, boop, a couple in the bathroom, a couple upstairs, a couple downstairs, some in the kitchen, some in the lounge, some in the office room, some by the...
00:24:07.000 Couch.
00:24:08.000 Yeah, couch rhymes with lounge.
00:24:10.000 Thank you, assistant.
00:24:11.000 Well, if you have an accent, couch.
00:24:13.000 Counge.
00:24:16.000 You're really helpful today.
00:24:18.000 Wherever you can scrounge.
00:24:20.000 Whatever you can scrounge.
00:24:20.000 Yeah, I should have said that.
00:24:23.000 And so I thought I'm doing the same with pens.
00:24:25.000 Now, CRTV didn't want to pay for this.
00:24:27.000 They have their office supply budget.
00:24:28.000 They're not looking to add another $300 to it.
00:24:31.000 But I've decided for the rest of my life, as a man, I will never again, till I die and am in the grave.
00:24:42.000 And possibly, this may be true of my entire family.
00:24:46.000 I will never be for want of a pen.
00:24:49.000 My favorite pen, by the way, this is my favorite pen.
00:24:51.000 It makes you draw awesome cartoons and it's just fun to write lists.
00:24:54.000 I will never be for want of a pen again because I had 300 members.
00:25:04.000 I'm a penionnaire!
00:25:07.000 You told me I could have one and I was like, um, I was like, yeah, you could have two.
00:25:12.000 And I was like, you could have a bunch.
00:25:13.000 You said, I just took two because they're so nice.
00:25:15.000 I felt guilty.
00:25:16.000 Yeah.
00:25:17.000 And, you know, obviously.
00:25:18.000 In Scotland, two out of 300 is considered alarmingly generous.
00:25:23.000 Oh, I see.
00:25:24.000 Well, I knew it.
00:25:28.000 I'm so thrilled.
00:25:29.000 Yeah, I feel like a billionaire.
00:25:30.000 This is what people don't understand about men.
00:25:32.000 And this is why men do so badly in divorce.
00:25:36.000 Because we're very easily pleased.
00:25:38.000 Like, I've got my motorbike.
00:25:39.000 I'm not even that excited about my motorbike, but I have this bicycle that it's just perfect.
00:25:43.000 And I've got leather handles on it, leather seat.
00:25:46.000 It's just the ideal machine.
00:25:48.000 I've got the toe clips.
00:25:50.000 I got a little vintage light on the front and on the back.
00:25:52.000 And I'm like, that's all, that's my transportation down.
00:25:54.000 I don't even like my cars.
00:25:57.000 And as far as sleeping goes, we're fine in a cot.
00:26:00.000 That's why with divorce, we go, just take the house. 0.97
00:26:02.000 I had it for you anyway.
00:26:03.000 I didn't like all those rooms.
00:26:05.000 And having all of these pens, I feel untouchable.
00:26:10.000 I am.
00:26:11.000 I am the Warren Buffett of pens.
00:26:16.000 I recommend you do it, guys.
00:26:17.000 If you have 300 bucks floating around, find your pen.
00:26:21.000 Might not be this pen.
00:26:22.000 I know other people, they like those pens that are almost kind of scratchy.
00:26:27.000 That's like fingernails on a chalkboard.
00:26:28.000 Or they like more of a ballpoint pen?
00:26:31.000 Chacun sangu.
00:26:31.000 Fine.
00:26:33.000 That's your taste.
00:26:34.000 But when I found my pen, I decided I'm never going to be missing this again.
00:26:38.000 Did we spend too long in the pen segment?
00:26:40.000 No.
00:26:41.000 All right.
00:26:42.000 How are we doing for time there?
00:26:43.000 Oh, we got to get moving here.
00:26:44.000 All right.
00:26:46.000 I want to show you a meme.
00:26:50.000 This is a meme of a guy.
00:26:52.000 It's going around.
00:26:53.000 This sums up millennials and people who have never had a job in their life, people who have never worked a day in their life.
00:27:02.000 And these people vote, by the way.
00:27:04.000 This meme is a big meme.
00:27:05.000 It's going around.
00:27:06.000 And it's a guy who procured a hand truck and thought, all right, I've got to get a hand truck to my car.
00:27:13.000 Hmm, what's the best way to get something with two wheels all the way back to my car that's in the parking lot?
00:27:20.000 I've never had a job.
00:27:22.000 I've never done anything.
00:27:23.000 I've never been to Home Depot before.
00:27:25.000 I know, I'll do with that what I would do with, say, a potted plant.
00:27:29.000 Or actually, you'd carry a potted plant.
00:27:32.000 I'll put it in a shopping cart.
00:27:34.000 So this guy has decided that two wheels aren't good enough, and he's got to get four wheels under his hand truck.
00:27:42.000 So the meme is usually the same.
00:27:43.000 It's remember this November, this guy's vote counts the same as yours.
00:27:47.000 What a dunce.
00:27:49.000 Are you trying to say something?
00:27:51.000 Not only that, I don't know.
00:27:52.000 I just, I personally don't like the cuffing of his jeans there.
00:27:56.000 That's a pretty intense cuff.
00:27:57.000 I understand if you do a pinroll, but look how lousy that.
00:28:01.000 Do you see that?
00:28:02.000 I don't like cuffs in general.
00:28:03.000 It's 15 bucks to have your pants tapered. 0.69
00:28:05.000 Why are you rolling them up?
00:28:06.000 Doesn't rolling them up, it's almost like a ponytail.
00:28:08.000 It's almost like a man bun of pants.
00:28:10.000 It is.
00:28:11.000 It undoes his whole look.
00:28:13.000 He now doesn't fit into society, you know?
00:28:15.000 Well, he didn't fit into society when he decided to use a shopping cart to carry a hand truck.
00:28:20.000 And he's using the same handles that he would have used if he was rolling.
00:28:25.000 It only has to go down three feet.
00:28:28.000 This is a perfect example of everything that's wrong with millennials. 0.96
00:28:31.000 And it's news, by the way.
00:28:33.000 I consider that how I get my information.
00:28:37.000 All right, what are we at now?
00:28:38.000 We got a six-minute thing.
00:28:40.000 I want to talk about something serious for a sec.
00:28:43.000 And I think we have enough time.
00:28:46.000 There is a common joke that is done, and I hate to be captain comedy police, but some of these jokes that are just accepted, it's funny, I'm sorry, I'm interrupting myself, but there's a lot of jokes you're not allowed to do.
00:29:00.000 You can't do rape jokes. 1.00
00:29:02.000 You can't do jokes that seem racially stereotypical.
00:29:05.000 You can't make fun of the handicap.
00:29:07.000 There's all these parameters with jokes.
00:29:09.000 But then there's other jokes that are much more offensive that are totally fine.
00:29:13.000 And the one I always talk about is the, oh, you're going to have fun with Bubba in prison, huh?
00:29:18.000 Don't drop the soap.
00:29:21.000 And you're watching that going, men getting raped.
00:29:24.000 Not that I like women getting raped, but men being sodomites.
00:29:27.000 I've heard stories of the blood, men bleeding to death.
00:29:30.000 They cut the anus before they go in and rape them. 1.00
00:29:33.000 And some giant black guy forcing you to perform fellasio on him doesn't really tickle my ribs. 1.00
00:29:39.000 Especially when you factor prison in, men get raped more than women.
00:29:45.000 I've seen studies that say as high as 10 times as many men get raped than women when you include prison.
00:29:53.000 I mean, it's a daily event.
00:29:54.000 And you talk to some of these guys who have been in maximum security for 10 years and you go, so what about that rape thing?
00:30:00.000 Is that true?
00:30:01.000 Like, does that happen?
00:30:02.000 And the guy would just go, and have this death stare.
00:30:09.000 And you go, I'm going to drop it.
00:30:12.000 I'm going to drop that subject.
00:30:16.000 So another common joke that I've done a million times, by the way, I've only recently realized that I don't enjoy this joke myself.
00:30:23.000 And that is the super hot teachers that have sex with kids. 1.00
00:30:27.000 Now, after we were doing Peter Davidson.
00:30:30.000 Pete Davidson.
00:30:30.000 Pete Davidson, yeah.
00:30:31.000 I'm going to call him Peter.
00:30:34.000 It's sort of like.
00:30:35.000 I think Campbell is a little bit of a stretch.
00:30:38.000 You can definitely get away with it.
00:30:39.000 Peter Davidson.
00:30:40.000 It's like, I like saying Michael Tyson.
00:30:43.000 One of my favorite boxers is Michael Tyson.
00:30:46.000 And I don't like saying little.
00:30:48.000 My favorite rapper is Lil Wayne.
00:30:51.000 I think he's not as good as Little Bow Wow.
00:30:54.000 No, Little Bow Wow is quite good.
00:30:55.000 Little Bow Wow is a good rapper.
00:30:58.000 So yes, when I was researching Peter Davidson yesterday to mock him for being engaged to Ariana Grande and then allegedly possibly bragging to a guy that he's got his ex and that guy dying soon after, killing himself possibly.
00:31:14.000 All conjectured.
00:31:15.000 Don't sue me.
00:31:17.000 I saw this sketch.
00:31:18.000 Have you got this SNL sketch?
00:31:20.000 And it's well here it is.
00:31:25.000 Wait too quiet.
00:31:26.000 Pump it up.
00:31:33.000 High school teachers Janet Johnson Luna and Kara Torkelson are accused of having an inappropriate group physical encounter with their student, Mr. Daly, who was just 16 at the time.
00:31:44.000 Daly's mother is suing the defendants for emotional trauma inflicted upon her son.
00:31:48.000 Testimony continues as Gavin Daly will be questioned by the defense.
00:31:52.000 Now, Mr. Daly, can you point out your former teachers for the court?
00:31:57.000 Yes, they're right there giving me butterflies.
00:32:01.000 So cheesy.
00:32:03.000 Monsters!
00:32:06.000 Monsters, are you?
00:32:10.000 So, by the way, this sketch is deceiving because it's pretty well written.
00:32:14.000 And they nailed the joke.
00:32:16.000 And part of us, especially as men, now, Your Honor, I'd like to present Exhibit 7A, a text conversation taken from Mr. Daly's phone.
00:32:29.000 The defendant, Ms. Luna, texts, I'm with Ms. Torkelson.
00:32:33.000 Come over for some private tutoring.
00:32:35.000 Minky emoji face.
00:32:37.000 Can you describe your response, Mr. Daly?
00:32:40.000 Yes, I responded with a gif of a cartoon bird exiting frame side.
00:32:45.000 All right, you get the idea.
00:32:46.000 That his feathers fly.
00:32:47.000 So hearty harhar.
00:32:49.000 Now, obviously, if a teacher sleeps with your, a male teacher sleeps with your 14-year-old daughter, you want to kill him.
00:33:00.000 If he sleeps with your 16-year-old daughter, basically exactly the same.
00:33:04.000 And it's, yes, I'm not going to lie, it's different with females and males.
00:33:08.000 If a female teacher sleeps with your 14-year-old teacher, it's not as bad, but you still want to slap her around. 1.00
00:33:15.000 I don't know, get her fired. 1.00
00:33:17.000 She definitely should go to jail for some amount of time. 0.98
00:33:20.000 I know it's not as traumatizing, and I know all you think about is sex when you're 14, but you're still a child.
00:33:25.000 And the ideal sexual progression for a 14-year-old boy is like the basement of like his girlfriend's house, and she's 14 too, and maybe he touches one boob, and then she's like, oh, and they slowly get there, and that's a nice memory for the rest of their lives.
00:33:42.000 What's weird?
00:33:42.000 You know what's weird?
00:33:43.000 I almost started crying right there.
00:33:44.000 Really?
00:33:45.000 Yeah, I felt really emotional.
00:33:47.000 That's all right.
00:33:48.000 Okay.
00:33:49.000 Whew.
00:33:50.000 Maybe I'm thinking of my own kids and they're considered.
00:33:52.000 And their lives and then just it's just life in general.
00:33:55.000 I'm getting real emotional right here.
00:33:57.000 Potential and child's innocence.
00:33:59.000 Yeah.
00:34:00.000 Whew.
00:34:00.000 Maybe it's because as a parent, that's what you think about all the time.
00:34:04.000 I got really emotional at something really ridiculous the other day, too.
00:34:08.000 Was it a Cher cassette single?
00:34:10.000 How dare you?
00:34:13.000 Anyway, that teacher's robbed that 14-year-old's innocence.
00:34:18.000 Now, I know this sketch used 16, which is much easier to digest.
00:34:20.000 And Jimmy Kimmel, I'm not going to lie, had a funny bit years and years ago where he said, he was talking about some hot teacher.
00:34:26.000 And, oh, it might have been Deborah Lefebvre right there on your screen.
00:34:30.000 But he said, unfortunately, the boy's father has passed away.
00:34:33.000 He died from excessive high-fives.
00:34:36.000 Now, that's my genre of comedy, sort of like dude bro jokes, dusty Baugen, as they say in Australia.
00:34:47.000 But I'm sort of taking a step back and I'm saying, yeah, this isn't as funny anymore.
00:34:55.000 And I'm realizing this is an example of the extreme arrogance you get from socialism.
00:35:02.000 Yeah, you heard me.
00:35:03.000 These teachers are all part of the union, right?
00:35:06.000 Now, I understand there's lust there.
00:35:07.000 I know there's probably a tsunami of lust coming from these 14, 16, 17-year-old boys.
00:35:12.000 I remember myself praying to God for it to at least slow down a bit because I was consumed with a constant boner.
00:35:20.000 And then eventually your pretty girl mentally, I don't know, maybe you go, man, I'm going to give in. 1.00
00:35:24.000 Don't give in.
00:35:26.000 That's a child.
00:35:28.000 And it's not as bad as a young girl.
00:35:30.000 I would definitely call that straight-up rape. 1.00
00:35:32.000 With a young boy, though, it's still a type of rape.
00:35:36.000 It's robbing that child of his innocence.
00:35:39.000 Now, I think what happens here is the unions tell these teachers that they're unfirable and they're right.
00:35:48.000 And when you're unfirable, you get this sort of hubris, this arrogance.
00:35:52.000 And it's why socialism is evil, because you start making decisions about other people's lives.
00:35:57.000 You start robbing them of their freedoms.
00:35:59.000 And you start going, I'm attracted to him.
00:36:01.000 He's attracted to me.
00:36:03.000 Fine.
00:36:04.000 And I had this whole epiphany, this whole concept came from one mug shot.
00:36:08.000 And it's from a woman who allegedly anally raped a 14-year-old student.
00:36:14.000 Now, that probably, that doesn't mean a strap on.
00:36:16.000 He was screaming, help, help, I assume.
00:36:18.000 It probably means she was performing fallatio and put a finger up there. 0.99
00:36:21.000 That's likely the story.
00:36:23.000 That's still technically anally raped. 1.00
00:36:25.000 But look at her arrogance. 1.00
00:36:28.000 Look at her saying, like the way that slight squint, move your mouse, that slight squint in, or is your mouse not on the thing?
00:36:34.000 I'm sorry.
00:36:35.000 That slight squint in her eyes, that's sort of like, you will not define me by this moment.
00:36:41.000 I am standing.
00:36:42.000 Like, have some shame, lady. 1.00
00:36:44.000 I know you didn't technically just jump out of the bushes with a knife and a balaclava and stick a strap on in a kid.
00:36:50.000 We all know that.
00:36:51.000 But what you did was still wrong.
00:36:53.000 Power corrupts.
00:36:55.000 Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
00:36:57.000 So as of this date, I am no longer joking about hot female teachers or any kind of female teacher having sex with any student. 0.79
00:37:09.000 You know what?
00:37:10.000 I don't care if they're 18.
00:37:11.000 There's a law in the States.
00:37:13.000 I assume it goes everywhere, but says if a woman, like a corrections officer, has sex with a male prisoner, it's rape. 1.00
00:37:21.000 And you go, come on, what if he's in love with her?
00:37:24.000 Sorry.
00:37:25.000 This is a man in a cage.
00:37:26.000 I don't care if he's out of his cell.
00:37:28.000 He's in a cage.
00:37:29.000 And he is not in control.
00:37:31.000 He can't say no.
00:37:32.000 At any moment, she can yell rape, and he's screwed for the rest of his life.
00:37:36.000 So that's not an egalitarian relationship.
00:37:39.000 So if a woman of any kind is having sex with a man of any kind in prison, then she is raping him. 0.96
00:37:46.000 And I think we still have to understand that though it's the best possible kind of rape, this is still in the category of rape.
00:37:52.000 And yes, I do want different sentences.
00:37:54.000 Men's innocence is different than women's innocence. 1.00
00:37:57.000 I think if a 30-year-old teacher is with a 14-year-old girl, look off the top of my head, I'm thinking 12 years, 12 years in prison, assuming we have all the evidence.
00:38:13.000 And this is just off the dome, so don't take me to the bank on this.
00:38:16.000 If a 22-year-old teacher has sex with a 14-year-old boy, not as long, but still prison.
00:38:23.000 I'm going to go with four years.
00:38:27.000 You see what I'm saying?
00:38:30.000 They're both crimes.
00:38:31.000 One has a different sentence.
00:38:32.000 But right now, the comedy world is like 30 years for the first guy and just a party for the second chick.
00:38:39.000 She's awesome. 0.83
00:38:40.000 Now, what's this story you're pulling up?
00:38:41.000 Is that the Scottish woman? 0.78
00:38:43.000 Yeah, she was offered, she got deported because she accepted $480 from a 15-year-old student to lose his virginity to her.
00:38:54.000 A Scottish hypnotherapist was busted in Florida for having sex with a 14-year-old boy who paid her $480 for a hotel trip.
00:39:03.000 Hey, dude, why are you showing me?
00:39:05.000 Well, this is the same story.
00:39:06.000 No, no, this is a robot.
00:39:08.000 People don't tune to this show to hear robots talk.
00:39:10.000 You know how much I hate robots?
00:39:11.000 I do hate robots.
00:39:12.000 I found the guy.
00:39:13.000 Orange County Police.
00:39:14.000 found what guy?
00:39:15.000 The guy from the meme.
00:39:16.000 Oh, I thought you were dealing drugs.
00:39:17.000 You had a drug dealer.
00:39:18.000 No, no, it's from the shopping cart meme.
00:39:21.000 You have the shopping cart meme guy.
00:39:23.000 Put him on.
00:39:23.000 Let's see him.
00:39:24.000 Shopping cart meme guy?
00:39:24.000 Shopping cart meme guy.
00:39:26.000 Are you there, sir?
00:39:26.000 Oh, there he is.
00:39:27.000 That looks pretty realistic.
00:39:29.000 Let's see the side of your face.
00:39:32.000 Well, it was the other way in the meme.
00:39:34.000 I can flip it in my head.
00:39:35.000 I'm good at flipping horizontal.
00:39:37.000 Is that good enough?
00:39:38.000 The look is somewhat similar.
00:39:39.000 Kind of a skinhead 1950s preppy guy.
00:39:43.000 Yeah.
00:39:43.000 I see that.
00:39:44.000 Mods or whatever?
00:39:46.000 Similar shirt?
00:39:47.000 Leave it to Beaver.
00:39:49.000 We need actual proof, though, or this is just we found a guy who looks like you and this is an act.
00:39:53.000 Well, I sent your guy an email.
00:39:56.000 What did he send you?
00:39:56.000 Yeah, I got that.
00:39:57.000 Oh, the screenshots?
00:39:59.000 Oh.
00:40:00.000 Oh, yeah, here's one.
00:40:01.000 Okay, so we got texts.
00:40:03.000 Holy, that looks believable.
00:40:05.000 I mean, that could be conceivably fake, but that would be a hell of a ruse.
00:40:10.000 And you got more?
00:40:11.000 Okay.
00:40:12.000 All right, I'm going to take the bait.
00:40:14.000 I'll bite.
00:40:14.000 I'll bite.
00:40:16.000 So I guess the next question that comes out of everyone's mind when that meme comes to life is, have you ever heard of rolling a hand truck in your life?
00:40:24.000 That would make sense, wouldn't it?
00:40:25.000 Yes.
00:40:26.000 Well, you know, the thing that people didn't realize was there was other stuff in the cart.
00:40:30.000 I mean, not much.
00:40:32.000 The cart looked pretty empty to me.
00:40:33.000 Pull up the picture.
00:40:35.000 Can you zoom in on it?
00:40:38.000 Yeah, I don't see anything in the cart.
00:40:40.000 You're kidding me.
00:40:42.000 Well, evidently nobody else did anyway.
00:40:44.000 So what happened was I was working on a radiator and I went to Home Depot to buy a hand cart because as you know, radiators are heavy.
00:40:52.000 They're very heavy.
00:40:53.000 And this radiator is going upstairs.
00:40:55.000 So it would have been really heavy.
00:40:56.000 So I'm a one-man team over here working on my house.
00:40:59.000 So I go to buy the hand truck and some other assorted things.
00:41:03.000 And I, you know, needed some lanes of pipe and stuff like that.
00:41:06.000 But originally, I had figured the, what do you want to call it?
00:41:11.000 The hand truck would be in a box, disassembled, right?
00:41:14.000 Right.
00:41:15.000 So that's why I initially bought the cart in there.
00:41:17.000 So I picked up my pieces of pipe and went to the hand truck and it was assembled.
00:41:20.000 So ah, the hell with it.
00:41:22.000 I'll put it in the cart.
00:41:23.000 You know, no big deal.
00:41:25.000 And I just, I didn't imagine it would blow out of proportion like this.
00:41:29.000 This is crazy.
00:41:30.000 So that's, so go back to the picture there, Ryan.
00:41:34.000 There's two pieces of pipe in the front part where there's the baby sits.
00:41:40.000 I understand now.
00:41:41.000 So the cart was not empty.
00:41:43.000 You had a hand truck.
00:41:44.000 And what is that?
00:41:45.000 Two pieces of heavy pipe?
00:41:47.000 Yeah, it's two pieces of an inch and a quarter black pipe that I was using as a breaker bar to get the fitting out of the radiator.
00:41:57.000 I was busting my ass.
00:41:59.000 You know what's funny about that too is that takes some real blue-collar know-how to know that you need a breaker bar to get a radiator.
00:42:05.000 Right, and that's why this is so unbelievably ironic.
00:42:09.000 It's really great.
00:42:11.000 I have a question.
00:42:12.000 So if a hand truck did come in a box disassembled, it was heavy and maybe awkward, what would you use to put that up a flight of stairs?
00:42:20.000 Probably another hand truck, no?
00:42:22.000 No, Ryan.
00:42:24.000 A hand truck weighs maybe 20 pounds.
00:42:26.000 Hey, listen, the hand trucks.
00:42:27.000 A baby could carry a hand truck in a box upstairs.
00:42:31.000 Pretty much.
00:42:31.000 I thought he agreed with me for a second there.
00:42:34.000 That's amazing.
00:42:35.000 So, and you're right.
00:42:37.000 To carry two pieces, like each of those pipes probably weighs like three or four pounds.
00:42:41.000 I don't know.
00:42:42.000 Right.
00:42:42.000 And they don't hold well.
00:42:44.000 So you'd have to hold those two things in your hand and hope they don't sloop around as cylinders tend to do. 0.99
00:42:49.000 And then also sort of shimmy the hand truck with one hand.
00:42:52.000 Ooh, hope it doesn't like turn.
00:42:54.000 It's easier just to go plop, plop.
00:42:56.000 That was my thinking exactly.
00:43:00.000 That's hilarious.
00:43:02.000 So then I'm coming out of the parking lot there or whatever, and some, you know, do-nothing, know-nothing sees me and takes a picture of me.
00:43:10.000 Some fat guy.
00:43:11.000 I don't know what happened.
00:43:12.000 Yeah, you never saw that happen.
00:43:14.000 You could tell by the angle that you didn't know.
00:43:16.000 The clueless.
00:43:18.000 And then you're a meme that represents liberal millennials who have never worked a day in their life.
00:43:24.000 It's unbelievable.
00:43:25.000 I've been working since I was at least 14, so it's just a big shock.
00:43:28.000 I mean, all my friends, my friends were the most shocked.
00:43:30.000 They're like, you of all people, this is unbelievable.
00:43:34.000 Dare we ask where you lie on the political spectrum?
00:43:37.000 I'm a total Trump supporter.
00:43:39.000 I supported Ron Paul both elections when he was running.
00:43:42.000 And, you know, I'm a conservative libertarian.
00:43:46.000 I'd love it if I could see that meme in a form because I've only been sent screen grabs of it, but I would love it if I could see that meme with a possibility to comment.
00:43:54.000 I'd go, yeah, he is voting in 2020.
00:43:57.000 That's awesome.
00:43:58.000 He's voting for Trump.
00:44:01.000 My favorite one is the hardware store in, I think it's in Mississippi, Coventry Hardware, Coventry Ace Hardware or something to that effect.
00:44:10.000 They posted it, you know, and like, oh, they said, don't be this guy.
00:44:14.000 You know, shop local, which I do all the time.
00:44:16.000 Just happen to be at Home Depot.
00:44:17.000 What do you mean?
00:44:18.000 Don't pull out a radiator with two braking bars?
00:44:21.000 No, don't do that.
00:44:22.000 Just have somebody, just call somebody.
00:44:24.000 Just pull it out.
00:44:24.000 Get the Hulk in there.
00:44:27.000 It's just completely ridiculous.
00:44:29.000 The last thing I would say is, and Shacun Sangu, as they say in France, to each his own.
00:44:35.000 But instead of rolling up cuffs, why not just go to the tailor and have, for 15 bucks, just have the pants taken up an inch?
00:44:43.000 I don't know.
00:44:44.000 I just think it looks neat having them rolled up.
00:44:47.000 I was a punk with a Mohawk and all that stuff and, you know, skinhead briefly.
00:44:50.000 And I just like that look.
00:44:53.000 I mean, I guess it's faux pas.
00:44:55.000 I can tell you, I prefer the cuff too.
00:44:57.000 I think it's a, it's a better look.
00:44:58.000 Ryan was shit talking your cuffs at the beginning of the show.
00:45:02.000 I've been looking around and really no one does it.
00:45:04.000 Yeah, it is pretty rare.
00:45:06.000 I kind of like the rocker look where it's about, you know, six inches, too.
00:45:10.000 That can be kind of cool.
00:45:11.000 Right, but I never find jeans long enough.
00:45:13.000 I'm 6'4.
00:45:14.000 Right, yeah.
00:45:16.000 I'd give it a shot.
00:45:17.000 I just can't do it.
00:45:17.000 You got to go to big and tall.
00:45:19.000 Well, this is the first time on the show we've ever had a meme come to life, and it's a thrill.
00:45:26.000 Oh, yeah.
00:45:26.000 Well, you were the first one I thought of.
00:45:28.000 Oh, thank you.
00:45:29.000 Well, Don't give the game away.
00:45:31.000 We're supposed to have found you.
00:45:32.000 Don't tell everyone that this is all a setup and that we knew from the beginning.
00:45:36.000 You did find me.
00:45:38.000 Yeah, yeah, we found you.
00:45:39.000 We found you.
00:45:40.000 You didn't find us.
00:45:41.000 Don't break the fourth wall.
00:45:43.000 But you know, one tiny thing before I let you go.
00:45:45.000 So much of politics, and sorry, especially women's politics, is based on a Facebook meme. 1.00
00:45:50.000 Like I remember a couple years ago, and I was on the daily show for this, actually.
00:45:54.000 They had women's soccer, and women only get paid, you know, a fraction of what men make in soccer, but they have 10 times the attendees or something like that.
00:46:02.000 And that meme just exploded, and then everyone went, what?
00:46:05.000 They don't pay women to play soccer. 1.00
00:46:07.000 And they were basing it on the World Cup.
00:46:09.000 The Women's World Cup did very well.
00:46:11.000 But every other game for women's soccer is nobody goes. 0.99
00:46:15.000 And so the meme was not accurate, but it went on and became fact.
00:46:19.000 And so much of what we take for granted as a fact these days is just someone taking a picture at Home Depot and going, that's what it is, without looking closer and seeing the two pipes in the baby seat.
00:46:31.000 Exactly.
00:46:32.000 It's amazing.
00:46:33.000 I don't even know.
00:46:34.000 I mean, this one's relatively harmless, but there's a lot of other cases where this could have catastrophic results.
00:46:40.000 Well, I'm going to try to tell CRTV to make this free on YouTube because the word has to get out because it's indicative of a much bigger pattern, which you easily dupe these days.
00:46:50.000 Fake news, fake memes.
00:46:51.000 Fake everything.
00:46:53.000 All right, man.
00:46:53.000 Thanks for coming on the show.
00:46:54.000 I like you more than a friend.
00:46:56.000 pleasure.
00:46:56.000 It's so sad that you're leaving.
00:46:59.000 It takes time.
00:47:02.000 That seems like a nice guy.
00:47:04.000 Yeah.
00:47:05.000 What a sweetie. 1.00
00:47:07.000 And I am kind of shocked at how arrogant we were at the beginning of the show with that meme.
00:47:13.000 Yeah, I didn't appreciate you outing me for disliking his cuffs.
00:47:17.000 Well, you realize that we gave away the fourth wall that this was all a setup.
00:47:20.000 So we can't continue.
00:47:21.000 We can't go back into the ruse after giving away that it was all a setup.
00:47:26.000 Can we show outtakes at the end?
00:47:29.000 I got now.
00:47:30.000 Bloopers?
00:47:30.000 I'll throw in one blooper.
00:47:32.000 Yeah, okay.
00:47:32.000 You put a blooper in there because there was a lot of takes.
00:47:34.000 We're out of time.
00:47:36.000 But speaking of a get off my lawn, this guy made me kind of nostalgic for that age when you're about 19 and you're so drunk.
00:47:44.000 Like when you get to be this age and you're this drunk, you just go and you just sleep.
00:47:48.000 You sleep in a bush on snow.
00:47:51.000 It doesn't matter.
00:47:51.000 You might die.
00:47:52.000 In water.
00:47:53.000 You'll go to sleep in the water.
00:47:54.000 You'll drown.
00:47:55.000 But this guy, that's the age where you manage to keep it together even though you're in a complete blackout.
00:48:02.000 So I don't know.
00:48:03.000 Maybe I kind of had a buzz when I chose this.
00:48:06.000 So this might just be a drunk guy having like a romantic affiliation with a drunk guy because he's like, there's one of us, one of my people.
00:48:14.000 So you could be seeing drunkism, drunk supremacy right there.
00:48:18.000 But look at him cook along.
00:48:20.000 Look, he's sort of relearning how to walk.
00:48:24.000 It's like a puppeteer on his first day.
00:48:28.000 This is like a guy graduating from puppeteer school.
00:48:31.000 It's like he's got Woody there from Toy Story.
00:48:34.000 Look at that.
00:48:35.000 This is Geppetto's first trial.
00:48:36.000 Yeah, I feel like a teacher going, you're really good, dude.
00:48:40.000 Look, getting all the legs right with the arms. 0.92
00:48:44.000 That's basically a guy walking up.
00:48:46.000 Now, see, even get him on the sidewalk.
00:48:48.000 There you go.
00:48:49.000 Good guy.
00:48:50.000 Is this footage of somebody escaping a physical rehab facility?
00:48:54.000 Yeah, this is someone who's been shot with 10 tranquilizer darts and he's still going.
00:48:59.000 Sir, we're going to need you to come back with us.
00:49:01.000 Sir, you're not going anywhere.
00:49:04.000 Sarah, Jason Bourne, you're not making it anywhere.
00:49:06.000 We're just going to let him tire himself out.
00:49:08.000 Over here.
00:49:08.000 Well, my favorite part here is that he sort of stays on the sidewalk and then he realizes when he's on the grass that he needs to get off my lawn.
00:49:17.000 I can feel some feelings.
00:49:21.000 Oh, did you just email them to me?
00:49:23.000 Jesus Christ.
00:49:24.000 You say, when I ask you for proof, you say, I sent your guy texts.