Reality TV is back, and Gavin is here to talk about it. He also talks about how to keep your hands where they belong, and why you should wear the MAGA hat on every episode of the show.
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:00:31.000There were times when we were getting.
00:00:36.000I had to stop that early because it's reality show music from a very intense scene that I will end the show with in order to keep your eyeballs on as at all times.
00:04:03.000Before we do any of that, though, I would like you to know what I go through here at this job, and that is my co-worker here, I'm tempted to call you a co-host at this point.
00:04:13.000You should probably wear the MAGA hat on every episode, I think.
00:05:24.000And you know, when you work, I'm sure you work at Wendy's or something in the booth and you probably say, ready to take your order, ready to take your order.
00:05:31.000I'm sure when you're lying in bed at night, you hear, ready to take your order, ready to take your order, the repetition of it all.
00:05:37.000I knew a guy who had to do urine inspections in the Army, and a lot of these guys will use prosthetic penises to put in fake urine into their sample because they maybe smoked pot or something or tried Coke.
00:05:48.000They don't want to be booted out of the Army.
00:05:49.000So his job was to stare right at the penis and make sure it was a real penis that was going pee.
00:08:11.000The world, a new study published in Nature Plants highlights that extreme weather conditions such as droughts and heat waves in conjunction with global warming will cause sharp declines in barley crops, the primary component of beer.
00:08:41.000So he's trying to sort of placate the liberals as he does this dumb scam, said co-author Stephen Davis, UCI Associate Professor of Earth System Science in a statement.
00:08:51.000But there's definitely a cross-cultural appeal to beer, and not having a cool pint at the end of an increasingly common hot day just adds insult to injury.
00:09:01.000As Jim Carrey said of vaccines when he was wrong, how dumb do they think we are?
00:09:08.000All right, Jesus, we really are cramped for time here.
00:09:11.000Second thing I wanted to talk about, actually, you know what, we don't have time for that.
00:09:19.000If you're a bachelor and you're cheap and lazy and no one's looking, I'm going to show you how to clean your bathroom with built-in socks you already own.
00:09:32.000Hey guys, I want to show you a bachelor's guide to cleaning your bathroom floor.
00:09:36.000This is a bathroom floor from a bachelor pad and it reeks.
00:09:42.000You know, inevitably with a lot of dudes coming over, splashing, you get sort of a layer of pee and splatters on the floor and the whole area starts to smell like ammonia.
00:09:52.000And so what should you do when that happens?
00:09:54.000Well, you should get a mop and a broom and I don't know what the hell people use, but I'm going to show you a much easier way to clean your bathroom with nothing but an extra pair of socks and some laundry detergent.
00:10:07.000So first, step one, you want to just pour some of this in the toilet.
00:10:58.000So the way these old ladies get on their knees and everything and keep pushing down and scrubbing down, it's not a good use of kinetic energy.
00:11:09.000I stand up here and then you just get in there and you really sort of push and you get your full weight in there.
00:11:16.000And this is the same as getting on your hands and knees and scrubbing.
00:14:23.000So then when you're done that, you take off these socks and you put both, you just wash them, and then you just put both in the laundry and you just mopped your bathroom without doing anything.
00:15:41.000But at the end of the day, and you throw those socks in the laundry, at the end of the day, she's seeing the same bathroom that an old Polish lady would scrub.
00:18:07.000Vigilantes, the club, just the free market handles it itself, takes him out there and beats the crap out of him.
00:18:15.000Way worse than it would have been, A, if he was never invited to the country in the first place, but B, if there was a competent police officer that could handle the situation.
00:18:26.000This is the problem with the government.
00:19:35.000All right, here's a kind of a funny example.
00:19:37.000It's a little outdated, but I saw some footage recently of a brawl in Salt Lake City where they go there to say they support Kavanaugh, right?
00:21:04.000Can you just give us a quick who, went, when, where, why on what we just saw in that video?
00:21:09.000Monday of this week, there was an anti-Kavanaugh meeting happening over at the federal building over in Salt Lake City, middle of downtown.
00:21:16.000The different SJW groups are showing up there, and I'm very familiar with them.
00:21:37.000110-pound mama on this side, my buddy Dave, who's probably 200 pounds on this side.
00:21:42.000My dad, who's 200-plus pounds next to my mom.
00:21:44.000And you can see in the, I have a 20-minute unedited video of it.
00:21:48.000You see that immediately, as soon as the signs go live, and I'm just standing there in the middle with a microphone, not proactively engaging with anybody, just saying, hey, if anybody wants to talk, I'm here for you.
00:21:58.000You see walkie-talkie action going on.
00:22:01.000You see leadership getting people into place.
00:22:04.000And in less than 10 minutes, you have the entire circle guided by the SJW leadership of this event.
00:22:12.000These are all the different socialists which congregate in Salt Lake City.
00:22:14.000They have now formed a circle around all of us.
00:22:18.000And the last moment you see people, they've already boxed in my buddy Sean, who's holding the camera.
00:22:23.000I had told him beforehand, hey, just keep filming no matter what.
00:22:26.000And as soon as they have people on both sides of him deliberately trying to block it, the attack starts on the side of my friend Dave, where a lady grabs the sign.
00:23:15.000And they realize, hey, we don't have enough of our faces covered.
00:23:19.000We can't keep from, you see the middle finger up there in the middle.
00:23:23.000They know that they would be held accountable.
00:23:25.000They know they initiated violence against us in an organized manner from the leadership of the different socialist events.
00:23:32.000You're seeing inside of the video the leaders of the socialist tyranny movement in Salt Lake City and for nothing more than holding up a sign that says the Kavanaugh accusers are not credible.
00:24:06.000You see leadership talking to one another.
00:24:08.000Now, the clip that's circulated from the local news only shows like the whole popping off of violence sort of stuff.
00:24:14.000But the 20-minute unedited video that I have uploaded, you see throughout coordinating people into place before they initiate the violence against us.
00:29:50.000I think what happens is they question and then the questions that are, her answers start falling apart and start, you know, incriminating herself.
00:36:40.000But the moral of the story here, folks, is the left is totally intolerant.
00:36:45.000And their intolerance doesn't stop and start at Nazis.
00:36:49.000They go to people who support a democratically elected president all over the coasts.
00:36:56.000And I'm sure in Madison, and I'm sure in Portland, wearing a hat that says, I like the guy that at least half the country likes, is seen as wildly controversial.
00:37:10.000And we're done this fun, kooky, kind of exciting variety show.
00:37:14.000It's funny that we sit at a desk and we're able to give you a variety show.
00:37:19.000Imagine what I could do with a budget.
00:39:28.000I mean, outside of stabbing someone in the eye, outside of the obvious crimes.
00:39:33.000I'm not even sure this is technically a crime.
00:39:36.000I'd be interested to talk to a lawyer about what the charge would be here, because she consented, clearly, to this tattoo and said, let's see what you got.
00:39:43.000So it would be hard to say, no, I didn't want you to go that crazy.
00:39:47.000I wouldn't wonder what the charge, even to sue her, I wonder what the charge would be.
00:39:52.000But outside of obvious stuff like stabbing someone in the spine, I've always thought one of the cruelest things you could ever do would be to lace someone with LSD.
00:40:01.000So someone is just like my age, drinking coffee, please don't get any ideas, and you just put LSD in there.
00:40:06.000And the next thing you know, this guy, this grown man with kids is tripping balls and he's looking at his hands.
00:42:32.000There were times when we were getting intimate, but you had body odor that I was just like, you know, I don't know if I could pursue you on that level.
00:45:09.000I don't want people to be that cruel that they tattoo insulting comments about each other's genitalia on their bodies for the rest of their lives.
00:45:17.000I'd rather be duped than have that kind of cruelty in the world.
00:45:21.000And by the way, Nick Cannon, for wasting our time with that and making it the whole show's final, final.