Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 01, 2018


Ep 205 | J Lo Bares Her Soul | Get Off My Lawn


Episode Stats

Length

38 minutes

Words per Minute

163.3535

Word Count

6,300

Sentence Count

622

Misogynist Sentences

21

Hate Speech Sentences

18


Summary

Get Off My One with Devin Mcguinness and special guest Gavin McElroy. They discuss the Shrek musical Shrek: The Musical, Halloween costumes, J.Lo's new music video, and more!


Transcript

00:00:19.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My One with Devin McGuinness in your big, my beautiful world.
00:00:33.000 I'm happy on my own anyway.
00:00:37.000 Give me what I can if I want my conga lime.
00:00:42.000 Yeah.
00:00:43.000 Yeah.
00:00:43.000 you Thank you.
00:00:47.000 I know what you're thinking.
00:00:49.000 You're thinking, Gavin, I like the songs you start your show with.
00:00:54.000 That's the first one I've heard that I really, really did not like at all.
00:00:59.000 It's kind of detestable.
00:01:01.000 Yes.
00:01:02.000 Some complaints will be lies.
00:01:05.000 Some of our opening show songs will be abrasive.
00:01:10.000 And that was one of them.
00:01:13.000 We took this from the Shrek Musical, which I don't think I have the fortitude to endure.
00:01:21.000 I can take a lot of things.
00:01:23.000 I've had people come by my house and threaten me.
00:01:25.000 I get death threats all the time.
00:01:26.000 I could endure all that.
00:01:27.000 I don't think I could sit through this, play some of it.
00:01:30.000 I'm getting like shivers just looking at it over.
00:01:37.000 This is my favorite part.
00:01:38.000 Okay.
00:01:40.000 Turn it up.
00:01:50.000 Why?
00:01:52.000 Cause being light is grossly overrated.
00:01:59.000 Being light?
00:02:00.000 Being right?
00:02:01.000 Being light.
00:02:03.000 It's grossly overrated, you see.
00:02:05.000 Ugh.
00:02:06.000 It's ears.
00:02:07.000 The worst part is right around the corner if you want to wait for it.
00:02:11.000 Yeah, when he farts on the thing.
00:02:13.000 Yeah.
00:02:13.000 But it's mine.
00:02:18.000 Alone, it's mine.
00:02:22.000 Oh, it's so bad.
00:02:24.000 It's so bad.
00:02:27.000 It's chilly in here.
00:02:29.000 It's like...
00:02:36.000 Dude.
00:02:37.000 That could only be written by a gay person, right?
00:02:40.000 Do you know...
00:02:47.000 Every school the two summers around the release of this musical on Netflix did the musical.
00:02:54.000 So there's just like the worst versions of this by high school kids doing it.
00:02:59.000 The costumes are awful.
00:03:00.000 The voices suck.
00:03:01.000 It's awkward.
00:03:02.000 So they must have been.
00:03:03.000 Yeah, because there's companies that go school to school and teach the kids how to do a musical.
00:03:07.000 And I wonder if there's some sort of funding that goes on where they can encourage people to want to see the musical.
00:03:11.000 So it's like some racket polluting our kids.
00:03:15.000 We're selling our children's attention span to musical.
00:03:19.000 Damn, cool.
00:03:20.000 So the reason I brought that up wasn't just to torture you with just the most visually painful thing I've seen in a long time.
00:03:37.000 I don't want you just going out on stage and singing the songs.
00:03:40.000 Your family's in danger.
00:03:41.000 The reason I brought that up though is because Heidi Klum is very devoted to Halloween.
00:03:48.000 That's when she really shines.
00:03:50.000 In fact, there's a montage.
00:03:52.000 Did I send you that?
00:03:52.000 Of all the different Halloween costumes she's worn over the years.
00:03:56.000 Oh, so what is she there?
00:03:57.000 Teen Wolf?
00:03:59.000 She's one of the sexiest women alive.
00:04:02.000 Can you not just dress up like a slut on Halloween, like everyone else, please?
00:04:07.000 Well, that's pretty slutty.
00:04:08.000 I mean, Halloween is when your husband gets to sleep with another woman who's actually his wife dressed up.
00:04:17.000 I mean, why waste it?
00:04:20.000 Oh, she's Godiva, whatever there, right?
00:04:23.000 The one who went into town naked.
00:04:26.000 Okay, that's pretty sexy.
00:04:27.000 That's fairly sexy, but weird.
00:04:30.000 Keep going.
00:04:31.000 Oh, yeah.
00:04:33.000 No, you can't paint your face gold.
00:04:34.000 The husbands are relatively happy with every outfit so far.
00:04:38.000 Getting a little freaked out by that, but keep going.
00:04:40.000 Yeah, that's kind of fun.
00:04:42.000 Have sex with a vampire.
00:04:43.000 That, okay, we're losing the sexiness here.
00:04:46.000 That's pretty good.
00:04:47.000 Keep going.
00:04:48.000 Although I don't like short hair.
00:04:50.000 All right, so you see she really spends time.
00:04:53.000 So this year, the guy married to Heidi Klume probably thought, I'm married to a supermodel who hasn't aged a day.
00:05:00.000 I wonder what slutty costume she has set up for us this year.
00:05:03.000 Uh-oh, womp, womp, woman.
00:05:08.000 Look at his face.
00:05:10.000 He's so bummed out.
00:05:12.000 There's several pictures of this.
00:05:14.000 Did you see the one where he's just sort of looking off into the distance?
00:05:17.000 Yes, I did.
00:05:18.000 That's my favorite.
00:05:19.000 Yeah, that one.
00:05:20.000 Look.
00:05:20.000 Someone tweeted this.
00:05:22.000 Look at his face.
00:05:25.000 Someone hates Halloween.
00:05:28.000 Poor bastard.
00:05:29.000 Oh, well, we all have our crosses to bear, Shrek.
00:05:33.000 All right, I'm sorry to be talking about Halloween so much when it's already happened and no one cares about it.
00:05:40.000 In the news today.
00:05:42.000 Oh, yeah.
00:05:43.000 That's not sexy, though.
00:05:45.000 It's scary.
00:05:46.000 It's like, what's that drag queen's name, Andrea Lapore?
00:05:52.000 But speaking of sexy, front page today, J-Lo, who's a millionaire, who gets to just go to the gym whenever she wants, is attractive.
00:06:03.000 Yeah, I figured, have you got the picture everyone's talking about?
00:06:07.000 Yeah, here it is.
00:06:08.000 Yes, she is.
00:06:09.000 A very attractive woman.
00:06:13.000 She's hiding the part of her body where she had kids, so we can't see if she's got some meat on her bones there.
00:06:19.000 But the front page, front page news.
00:06:23.000 What I find a lot more interesting, actually, is this friend of terror victim refuses to shake de Blasio's hand as Mayor forgets to name The dead.
00:06:31.000 This is a pothead.
00:06:34.000 Okay, sorry, let's look at J-Lo.
00:06:37.000 What do you say?
00:06:37.000 8.8?
00:06:39.000 I mean, it's a Photoshopped, super fancy picture in a studio, but I'm not blind.
00:06:45.000 That's an 8.8.
00:06:47.000 Anyway, De Blasio is a pothead communist married to a lesbian, and all they do is smoke marijuana and show up late for events.
00:06:57.000 This event, I assume he showed up late, but he forgot to name the dead.
00:07:01.000 What was it, eight people that were killed by a Muslim terrorist?
00:07:07.000 And I know we're talking about Nazis all the time and how white men are the problem.
00:07:12.000 As we discussed with John Laude, when it comes to these mass killings, 11% are Muslim.
00:07:18.000 The next religion down is Christianity, which is down to three or something.
00:07:23.000 So we have noticed a disproportionate number of mass killings from Muslims, but de Blasio's priority is making sure no Muslim feelings are hurt.
00:07:33.000 Remember when there was that hate crime hoax about the girl who had her hijab stolen and de Blasio just leaps on it?
00:07:40.000 Or with me, when there's a fight at the Republican Club, he can't wait to talk about Nazis roaming the streets and then he throws the book at these five poor bastards that are facing felony charges because de Blasio decided he wanted to politicize something.
00:07:54.000 These are their names, though.
00:07:56.000 Who?
00:07:57.000 How many are there?
00:07:58.000 Let's read their names now.
00:08:01.000 Diego Enrique Angelini.
00:08:04.000 Nicholas Cieves.
00:08:06.000 Anne Laurie DeCat.
00:08:09.000 Darren Drake.
00:08:11.000 Ariel Erlige.
00:08:14.000 Herman Ferrucci.
00:08:16.000 Herman Diego Mendoza.
00:08:18.000 And Alejandro Damien Pagruco.
00:08:22.000 It was on the West Side Highway where there's a lot of tourists, so those people could be from all over the world.
00:08:27.000 But they're all the enemies of radical Islam, the infidels.
00:08:30.000 Yeah, wasn't that a group of tourists?
00:08:34.000 Right, celebrate.
00:08:35.000 Yeah, sure it was.
00:08:35.000 There's the circle line there.
00:08:37.000 There's the Intrepid.
00:08:38.000 There's all the tons of tourist attractions.
00:08:39.000 Chelsea Piers, you can go golfing.
00:08:42.000 It's kind of a cool part of town, actually.
00:08:45.000 And then you got Soho right there.
00:08:49.000 One last thing I'm going to say about Halloween, and then I'm going to drop it.
00:08:52.000 Ryan came up to my house.
00:08:54.000 Did I send you a picture of you?
00:08:55.000 Yes.
00:08:56.000 Ryan came up to my house last night out in the burbs and he decided he was a zombie.
00:09:06.000 And the plan was, I will be a werewolf.
00:09:10.000 And I hid my face because I'm a pariah in the neighborhood.
00:09:13.000 And I thought, let's not make this about politics.
00:09:16.000 I hid my face with a mask.
00:09:19.000 And then he's going to be a zombie.
00:09:20.000 And I'll help people get to the candy by holding back the zombie.
00:09:24.000 Didn't work.
00:09:26.000 Our initial plan was a flop.
00:09:28.000 Now, I had a camera there, and we filmed all this.
00:09:33.000 So I want to show you some highlights.
00:09:34.000 Have you got the very first thing we tried?
00:09:36.000 The audio is probably going to be way too quiet.
00:09:38.000 Okay, come in here.
00:09:39.000 Pump it way up.
00:09:41.000 I got to warn you that I got to protect you.
00:09:45.000 No, you're not getting anything until you don't cost you money.
00:09:48.000 Put your mask on.
00:09:50.000 That's my rule.
00:09:54.000 You know what that kid was wearing?
00:09:56.000 Nothing.
00:09:57.000 He had a sweatsuit on and a backpack, and he was talking to someone on his phone.
00:10:01.000 He's maybe six, seven years old.
00:10:03.000 And then he had a mask that was tied to his backpack of Kylo Wren.
00:10:09.000 I said, you've got to put that on, or we're not doing this.
00:10:12.000 Don't touch that.
00:10:13.000 Stay there.
00:10:14.000 Stay there.
00:10:15.000 Look, he took his mask off the second he was outside the house.
00:10:20.000 So that did not go well.
00:10:22.000 And as Ryan points out in the discussion we're having right now, they know there's no such thing as a zombie.
00:10:29.000 Now, it's all too bright out anyway.
00:10:31.000 But they're aware that we're humans.
00:10:34.000 What do we got here?
00:10:38.000 I'm going to make sure he doesn't touch you.
00:10:39.000 You're going to be fine.
00:10:40.000 Just come on in.
00:10:42.000 No.
00:10:42.000 Yeah, the other problem is...
00:10:44.000 Hey, man, don't make a move!
00:10:52.000 Make sure you blur any faces that the kids can be seen.
00:10:56.000 So look, they're just bored by that.
00:10:58.000 That was like bad UCB improv.
00:11:02.000 That was Shrek the Musical.
00:11:07.000 So here, I like the reason I pull this up because I didn't realize that we're going to be recorded, or I forgot that we had the cameras there.
00:11:15.000 So having a long discussion about scaring.
00:11:18.000 So this is the point where we realize the only way we can do this is jump scares.
00:11:23.000 They don't believe a zombie.
00:11:24.000 You'd have to be four to believe that a zombie is there.
00:11:27.000 And I don't want to scare a four-year-old.
00:11:29.000 I want to scare like seven, eight, nine, ten.
00:11:33.000 So there we decide I'm just going to greet people here and we'll do the jump scare.
00:11:38.000 Do you want to jump to a good one?
00:11:40.000 Yeah, there should be one over here.
00:11:42.000 Ha ha ha ha!
00:11:44.000 Captain Canyon, get over here!
00:11:47.000 Ha ha ha ha!
00:11:48.000 It's kind of a new angle.
00:11:50.000 It's sort of like in comedy when you have the straight man.
00:11:53.000 I'm like the scare man.
00:11:55.000 So yeah, there's a high five.
00:11:56.000 So you do the scaring and then I help them get out of there.
00:11:59.000 And my house has a reputation for this.
00:12:01.000 I mean, the previous year there was about four werewolves.
00:12:04.000 That's why I have the werewolf mask.
00:12:05.000 And I was the only one that was an actual person.
00:12:07.000 The rest were just mannequins.
00:12:08.000 So as they're staring at the werewolves, one of them goes, ah!
00:12:11.000 And then the year before that, there was a coffin and the bull was there.
00:12:15.000 And I would just come out of the coffin as they grabbed it and went, what are you doing?
00:12:20.000 That's actually pretty cool.
00:12:22.000 Oh, it sucks, though, because you've got to stay in a coffin for four hours.
00:12:26.000 Right.
00:12:28.000 Am I driving that?
00:12:29.000 Oh, my God!
00:12:32.000 What did I feel?
00:12:33.000 Oh, my God!
00:12:35.000 Get out of there, kids.
00:12:36.000 You got your candy.
00:12:37.000 Yeah, they think the corner is going to help you.
00:12:39.000 There's a zombie in the house.
00:12:41.000 Get out of here.
00:12:43.000 I'll protect you.
00:12:44.000 And then the funny part, too, is they'd be screaming blue murder at the top of their lungs.
00:12:49.000 And then after the scream, they'd go, thank you.
00:12:52.000 Yeah.
00:12:53.000 Thanks, Victor.
00:12:54.000 Thank you for scaring the crap out of me.
00:12:56.000 I like the parents rolling it, too.
00:12:58.000 It's like some macho dads.
00:13:00.000 Like, come on, get in the house.
00:13:01.000 This guy's trying something.
00:13:02.000 Hey!
00:13:03.000 This guy got a zombie.
00:13:05.000 Don't be disrespectful.
00:13:06.000 You get in here and you get scared now.
00:13:09.000 This nice man's trying to scare strange children.
00:13:13.000 Don't be rude.
00:13:14.000 Get scared.
00:13:14.000 Don't worry, guys.
00:13:15.000 We're going to have a lot more substance soon.
00:13:17.000 We're going to be talking to Styx Hexenhammer about the election, and he's got it all sussed out.
00:13:22.000 And he knows way more about the House and the Senate than I ever can.
00:13:24.000 And we're also going to talk to James O'Keefe, who has just destroyed Andrew Gillum by catching his staffers say all kinds of stuff.
00:13:34.000 We'll talk to James for a second.
00:13:35.000 That's Florida.
00:13:36.000 Now we have Florida.
00:13:37.000 Florida's ours.
00:13:39.000 But I still want to see a few more kids get scared, if you don't mind.
00:13:46.000 Wait a minute.
00:13:46.000 Now I'm fascinated to the grown man.
00:13:48.000 Oh, he's just taking his kids.
00:13:50.000 Is that it?
00:13:50.000 Yeah, I think so.
00:13:51.000 Oh, okay.
00:13:51.000 I think so.
00:13:53.000 God, I hope so.
00:13:54.000 For the record, folks, no trick-or-treating after 13, and 13 is pretty late.
00:14:00.000 That's a lenient late.
00:14:01.000 I'm being very generous when I say 13.
00:14:04.000 You should be interested in girls.
00:14:06.000 And girls, you should be interested in, I don't know, the fact that boys are interested in you.
00:14:11.000 Right.
00:14:12.000 I want to make it clear.
00:14:15.000 Thank you so much.
00:14:16.000 Thank you.
00:14:17.000 *Clapping*
00:14:22.000 That's a good one.
00:14:23.000 Okay, next.
00:14:25.000 Thank you guys for coming.
00:14:31.000 What the hell's going on?
00:14:33.000 Oh, my God.
00:14:34.000 Oh, look at this, a robbery.
00:14:36.000 This is a robbery basically, yeah.
00:14:44.000 Look at this, a heist.
00:14:46.000 They're getting heisted.
00:14:51.000 Make sure you blur their faces.
00:14:52.000 I don't want them getting criminal records for stealing 30 cents of chocolate.
00:14:58.000 And then I came out and went, why don't you want to come to my house?
00:15:00.000 Because we've already been to your house, dude.
00:15:02.000 We ransacked it.
00:15:14.000 That wasn't the chase one either, but yeah, there was a lot of good ones.
00:15:17.000 That was fun.
00:15:17.000 Good stuff.
00:15:18.000 Yeah, we really nailed it by the end.
00:15:19.000 And that's what makes us different from chimpanzees and horses and other stuff.
00:15:23.000 We can adapt.
00:15:24.000 So we see something isn't working.
00:15:26.000 We see the werewolf mask isn't working.
00:15:28.000 We see that no one is scared of just a guy dressed up as a zombie in 2018.
00:15:33.000 So you have to take advantage of surprise, loud volume, and creepy tension at the beginning.
00:15:39.000 That's the secret.
00:15:40.000 So we got a whole year to think of what we're going to do next time.
00:15:45.000 Let's look at before we talk to our guests, let's sort of look at the, it's amazing that this election is so close because there's only about, I think, seven competitive seats in the Senate, right?
00:15:58.000 And the whole, the House is, Republicans have a 240 to about 195 or something majority.
00:16:06.000 So as you know, Republicans control the House and we might lose some seats there, but we'd have to lose a lot to lose control of the House.
00:16:14.000 So it's all about the Senate where we have a, we're just eking ahead at 5149 right now, and there's only seven questionable ones.
00:16:22.000 But every day the left says something stupid or does something horrible and screws themselves.
00:16:29.000 So we just had Nancy Pelosi basically admit that all of this is a lie, calling me a Nazi, saying that there's fascist street gangs trying to pin the horrific shooting at that synagogue on Trump.
00:16:45.000 She admitted that it's all just rhetoric.
00:16:48.000 We're lying.
00:16:49.000 We're trying to win the election.
00:16:50.000 I'm sorry.
00:16:51.000 The hate has no home here.
00:16:52.000 We know you're not really racist.
00:16:54.000 But after the election, we'll tone down the rhetoric.
00:16:57.000 And as Stix Hexenhammer was saying, she screwed up here and just had an Alzheimer's moment where she accidentally said the truth.
00:17:06.000 That's very badly framed and irritating to look at.
00:17:09.000 All right, let's just see some of that.
00:17:10.000 ...out there that it's not...
00:17:16.000 America's neither red nor blue?
00:17:18.000 It could be.
00:17:18.000 It's about unifying our country.
00:17:20.000 I think it is a time to heal.
00:17:22.000 There's been a lot of talk lately about lowering the temperature of political discourse.
00:17:29.000 Have you seen evidence of that?
00:17:32.000 Well, I think when we win, you will see evidence of that.
00:17:35.000 Because when we do win, we will be toning down the false Nazi allegations, hate crime hoaxes, and false flags?
00:17:46.000 Was the caravan a false flag?
00:17:48.000 I mean, what was that?
00:17:50.000 It's sort of like the Las Vegas shooting of recent news items.
00:17:54.000 We still don't know what the hell that was, how thousands of people decided to get together and rent some 18-wheelers.
00:18:00.000 Who funded that?
00:18:01.000 What was that about?
00:18:02.000 It looks to me, and it looks to liberals, and it looks to most of the country, like the DNC brought in a bunch of people hoping to get someone killed so they could have good optics.
00:18:11.000 But don't worry, folks.
00:18:12.000 Nancy Pelosi will be toning down horrific, sinister, satanic acts like that after the election.
00:18:21.000 And then we had Andrew Gillum staffers.
00:18:25.000 So Project Veritas went undercover in the Andrew Gillum campaign and realized that not only are they like all politicians, but they're pretty much the worst of politicians.
00:18:37.000 He caught that guy, Omar Smith, who, by the way, today was fired.
00:18:41.000 They always say Project Veritas is irrelevant, and this is fake, and it's been edited, and James says this, and James says that.
00:18:49.000 James doesn't say a word.
00:18:51.000 These videos speak for themselves, literally.
00:18:55.000 And if it's so irrelevant, and if this isn't a smoking gun, then why'd you fire the guy?
00:19:01.000 Why does he always get people fired?
00:19:04.000 Because they are guilty.
00:19:07.000 I wonder if this guy's going to be fired.
00:19:08.000 So this guy's saying we can play some of it, I guess.
00:19:10.000 I'm in a race right now.
00:19:12.000 I do think he would support anybody doing that stuff.
00:19:15.000 Bill Nelson.
00:19:15.000 and Right, that's all I'm worried about.
00:19:21.000 I just wish he's trying to get the moderates and the gun totem.
00:19:27.000 Anyway, it doesn't lend itself to exciting TV.
00:19:30.000 But there he is.
00:19:32.000 That's one of his top guys.
00:19:33.000 They went to school together.
00:19:35.000 And Florida is an effed up state.
00:19:39.000 It's a cracker state.
00:19:41.000 And the previous guy was saying, Yeah, yeah, he hates guns, but Florida is a big gun place.
00:19:46.000 So even though he wants to do things like ban bump stocks, he's got to keep it quiet.
00:19:52.000 And here he is saying, Andrew Gillum just says whatever he can to get elected.
00:19:55.000 He doesn't care.
00:19:56.000 Anyway, that's enough of that.
00:19:59.000 But I saw someone saying recently that if Andrew Gillem wins, they will use the state as a Petri dish for globalist billionaires like George Soros.
00:20:08.000 Which is supposed to be an evil thing to say.
00:20:11.000 Like, how dare you accuse George Soros of some sort of maniacal big picture planning?
00:20:17.000 We got it from George Soros' mouth.
00:20:20.000 He talks about the billions of dollars he spends to mobilize progressives and the radical left.
00:20:30.000 Anyway, let's see.
00:20:31.000 James is at the airport.
00:20:33.000 Let's see if we can talk to him about this.
00:20:35.000 It's probably not going to be a good connection if it's just on his phone, but let's see if we can talk to him just for a couple minutes.
00:20:40.000 Take your fluffy fun and covered where the sun goes down.
00:20:45.000 James, are you there?
00:20:48.000 I'm here.
00:20:49.000 Sorry for the fortune.
00:20:50.000 I'm running to the next gate, the ambush, the next political campaign.
00:20:55.000 But can you hear me?
00:20:57.000 Yeah, I can hear you.
00:20:58.000 We'll keep it short and sweet.
00:20:59.000 You are changing this election.
00:21:03.000 Andrew Gillam is just lost because of this footage.
00:21:06.000 It's over for him.
00:21:09.000 Thank you.
00:21:10.000 Yes, I just confronted this official in Florida.
00:21:14.000 Omar is his name.
00:21:16.000 And he's basically saying they have to lie to the voters.
00:21:19.000 He's calling the people.
00:21:20.000 He's using race slurs.
00:21:22.000 It really reveals how open and honest they are about their real intentions.
00:21:28.000 And the video kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it?
00:21:31.000 It's pretty unbelievable stuff.
00:21:34.000 Particularly how he just sat there and said, it's all a fairy tale.
00:21:37.000 We're not going to actually do this.
00:21:38.000 We're not going to be able to get this done.
00:21:40.000 And the voters cannot know that.
00:21:42.000 So I think it's extraordinary.
00:21:44.000 I think it really looks like it's covered by all the local media in Florida, like the Missouri one got covered in Missouri.
00:21:51.000 Yeah.
00:21:52.000 James, we can't hear you very well.
00:21:54.000 We just want to check in.
00:21:55.000 And what I think is amazing about this is this isn't unique to Andrew Gillum.
00:21:59.000 You are exposing what politicians do behind the scenes.
00:22:03.000 And we're learning now how dishonest they are.
00:22:09.000 Yeah, this is the whole purpose of the expose.
00:22:12.000 Politicians say and do whatever they need to do to get elected.
00:22:16.000 And I think the Gillam cake was the most extraordinary example.
00:22:22.000 Because he's saying all a fairy tale.
00:22:25.000 You should not know it.
00:22:26.000 His words are not all.
00:22:28.000 Yeah, beautiful.
00:22:29.000 James, we've got to go.
00:22:30.000 We can't hear you very well, but thanks for taking the time.
00:22:34.000 Yep, good work, man.
00:22:36.000 Cheers.
00:22:37.000 I prefer a life like this.
00:22:40.000 It's not that complicated.
00:22:44.000 So that's relevant.
00:22:46.000 Sorry about that terrible reception, but that's relevant because that's one of the seven big competitive states, one of the states we're worried about.
00:22:54.000 So I think we got Florida now.
00:22:57.000 The Cracker State?
00:22:59.000 The Cracker State.
00:23:01.000 I am confident that we will not lose one Senate seat.
00:23:04.000 I am hereby making the following estimate.
00:23:07.000 5545.
00:23:09.000 Right now it's 51.49.
00:23:11.000 We are going to go up four seats.
00:23:14.000 And the Democrats, of course, will go down four seats because we're taking those.
00:23:20.000 As far as the House goes, it's $240,194 now.
00:23:25.000 I estimate another five seats, $2.45.
00:23:28.000 Not only will we stand strong, we will advance.
00:23:30.000 I think the left has made the entire country hate them, including plenty of liberals.
00:23:37.000 Hence, walk away.
00:23:38.000 Hence, Blexit.
00:23:40.000 You did this to yourselves, Nancy Pelosi.
00:23:43.000 But I'm not very smart.
00:23:45.000 Especially with American politics, because I grew up in Canada.
00:23:48.000 We have a British system there.
00:23:49.000 I was born in England.
00:23:50.000 The House, the Bills, the Senate, the states.
00:23:53.000 I tend to get a little muddled up.
00:23:54.000 But you know who does know his stuff?
00:23:56.000 Is Satan's close friend, Styx Hexenhammer?
00:24:00.000 Who needs a big, bright future for wheel?
00:24:04.000 I've got my own needle.
00:24:05.000 Styxenhammer, are you there?
00:24:07.000 I am here.
00:24:08.000 Did I say your weird name right?
00:24:10.000 Styx Hexenhammer.
00:24:12.000 Close enough, though.
00:24:13.000 I forgot one of the many satanic syllables in there.
00:24:16.000 Easier to pronounce than my real name, possibly.
00:24:20.000 Yeah, I had that angry foreigner on the show once, and he told me his real name.
00:24:24.000 He's like a Muslim refugee from Serbia, and it takes about a day to say.
00:24:30.000 Things are heating up for the election.
00:24:32.000 I just talked to James O'Keefe, had a rough conversation at the airport because the connection was bad.
00:24:38.000 But he caught Andrew Gillum staffers calling Florida a f ⁇ ed up state, saying it's a cracker state, saying what I suspect most politicians say, which is, I don't believe anything.
00:24:49.000 I hate guns, but this is a gun state, so I'm going to love guns.
00:24:53.000 All lies.
00:24:55.000 I think he's done for.
00:24:57.000 I think James O'Keefe is doing God's work, so to speak, with regards to this election, because it's not just that.
00:25:02.000 I think that trickles down to the Florida Senate race potentially, could give Rick Scott a boost, even if it's only a point.
00:25:08.000 It's a statistical tie right now, and early voting favors him.
00:25:11.000 So that could literally tip the Florida Senate race to the Republicans.
00:25:16.000 O'Keeffe also managed to get footage of cinema over in Arizona and as well, Claire McCaskill in Missouri.
00:25:21.000 All three of those races are now in chaos.
00:25:24.000 And then we have today as well the Montana race, actually, with John Tester.
00:25:28.000 Now, a mailer was sent out, apparently, over the last week, which indicated it was an attempt to get GOP voters to vote for the Libertarian candidate.
00:25:37.000 He was having none of it, and he's like, screw it.
00:25:39.000 He has dropped out and endorsed the GOP now.
00:25:42.000 Now, even if he only has three points of support, which is pretty roughly average, in Montana, I think it's a little bit more typically for the Libertarians, four or five, that puts that race that the Democrats have been three or four points ahead in statistically for a month, into a dead heat status.
00:25:58.000 You've even got some people talking About Menendez being knocked down in New Jersey.
00:26:02.000 I don't expect that, but the fact that it's even possible that we're talking about a state as blue as New Jersey and an incumbent who before was maybe a fairly well-known Democrat possibly losing his seat or just barely squeaking by is fantastic for the Republicans.
00:26:16.000 Isn't Menendez embroiled in a million controversies with prostitutes and having women getting free green cards and stuff because they're sexy?
00:26:25.000 Well, the latter being realistic, the former being discredited.
00:26:29.000 Apparently, the accusers said that they had been paid to say that.
00:26:33.000 But did you see NJ.com, one of their main sort of outlets?
00:26:37.000 They endorsed Menendez, but they said, hey, we know he's a slime ball.
00:26:41.000 He sucks.
00:26:41.000 But choke him down and vote for him anyway because the alternative is slimier.
00:26:45.000 Like he has a D after his name, so that makes it better.
00:26:48.000 Oh, it was the funniest non-endorsement I've ever seen in my lifetime.
00:26:51.000 Well, that's become the norm.
00:26:52.000 That's the left's new thing.
00:26:54.000 Hate has no home here.
00:26:55.000 I know that the south side of Chicago sucks.
00:26:57.000 I know these places are dangerous, but as Joe Biden said, they'll put you in chains.
00:27:02.000 So I know everything is terrible now, but trust me, it'll be way worse without us.
00:27:07.000 And it reminded me of that slogan that the DNC designed not long after the 2016 election where they're like, oh, if you hate us, you should see the other guys.
00:27:16.000 It reminded me of the same tone-deaf nature of the modern neoliberal movement, I think.
00:27:22.000 Well, I think they are their own worst enemy, like Nancy Pelosi getting on that show and saying, I don't mean any of this.
00:27:29.000 And as soon as I win, I'm going to calm down and stop smashing plates.
00:27:34.000 Yeah.
00:27:34.000 See, I see that as not really a threatening thing.
00:27:37.000 Some people are taking that as a thinly veiled threat against the right.
00:27:40.000 Like, basically, if we don't lose, we're going to beat your heads in.
00:27:42.000 I think it's the opposite.
00:27:43.000 She's admitting that the neoliberal 80% of the Democratic Party is simply using the far left.
00:27:49.000 That is, all of the energized young voters that put on pink hats and are willing to protest for days at a time.
00:27:54.000 You're being used by a bunch of billion-dollar corporations, multinational banks, in association with the DNC, which is essentially just a corporation itself.
00:28:03.000 It exists to make money poorly because I think they're still in, what, tens of millions of dollars of debt.
00:28:09.000 They're severely behind, but it is a corporate entity, and they're being misused by them for political gain.
00:28:15.000 Yeah, I did a talk at the Manhattan Republican Club recently, and the protesters had the most beautiful signs.
00:28:22.000 They were all exactly the same, and they had these banners that must have cost $2,000.
00:28:27.000 And they didn't seem like they looked like a hodgepodge of characters, too.
00:28:31.000 There was the Antifa, of course, but then the rest of them looked like extras from an indie film.
00:28:36.000 And I thought, you are being paid to be here.
00:28:39.000 This is clearly an example of the paramilitary wing of the DNC.
00:28:44.000 And in some other cases, they're just deluded.
00:28:46.000 They think that they're fighting for what's right.
00:28:48.000 But the thing is, they don't even, I think some of them realize who's actually pulling their strings.
00:28:53.000 Corporate groups that 10 years ago the liberals hated, like the same generation, millennials, older Gen Z maybe, called them out.
00:29:01.000 You're pro-war, you're pro-bank, you're pro-corporate censorship, surveillance, all the bad things in the world.
00:29:07.000 And now they've bent over because these groups have applied family-friendly propagandistic labels to them.
00:29:12.000 Like it's not censorship, it's a family-friendly atmosphere.
00:29:17.000 It's not war, it's just some targeted strikes on militants or something.
00:29:20.000 They've gobbled that down.
00:29:22.000 They've stopped being authentically liberal in any real sense anyway.
00:29:25.000 Now they're just crazy authoritarians that are owned by banks and corporate groups.
00:29:30.000 And I think it's making these flyover states hate them.
00:29:33.000 And that's why we're left with...
00:29:37.000 We've got what you were saying earlier, seven competitive seats now.
00:29:42.000 And I think even today, it feels like three of those are lost to the right.
00:29:48.000 The left lost three today.
00:29:51.000 Yeah.
00:29:51.000 Yeah, I would say even on RCP, if you look, the Republicans basically start out holding 50 seats.
00:29:57.000 So the worst that they can do is losing a seat.
00:30:00.000 Technically speaking, they still control the Senate because Pence is the tiebreaker.
00:30:04.000 I expect them to gain several seats, end up with 53 to 54.
00:30:09.000 It's a more conservative estimate.
00:30:10.000 I think H.A. Goodman is expecting to have 56 or 57 at the end of the night based on polling differentials.
00:30:16.000 If that happens, the Republicans also, by the way, keep the House, which would cause an absolute meltdown among the Democrats.
00:30:23.000 I'm not tentatively predicting that.
00:30:26.000 What I'm saying is there is no prediction to make for the House because you've got 35, 40 different races where you've got a single poll that is sometimes two or three weeks old telling you what supposedly the actual result will be.
00:30:39.000 Those aren't reliable.
00:30:40.000 The pollsters in this election really have ignored the House in favor of the Senate.
00:30:44.000 So at the very least, though, we have a good estimate there.
00:30:47.000 We know Cruz is re-elected.
00:30:49.000 Tennessee goes Republican.
00:30:50.000 That's 50 right there.
00:30:52.000 It would be odd to me if they didn't pick up at least two or three of those other seats.
00:30:57.000 Okay.
00:30:57.000 Well, you are in bed with Satan, and you do satanic rituals that involve stealing people's souls and stuff like that.
00:31:05.000 Use your satanic powers and tell me what the results will be for the Senate, Republicans versus Democrats.
00:31:13.000 You're saying, what, 55, 45?
00:31:17.000 No, I'm saying the Republicans win several seats.
00:31:20.000 They end up between 53 and 55.
00:31:23.000 I think McCaskill is the most likely to get knocked out of all of them.
00:31:28.000 I would say McCaskill, Donnelly now, because he put his foot in his mouth, and then probably Florida would be third.
00:31:34.000 Nevada, the Democrats have led there, but it's, again, spotty polling in the state of Nevada and in Montana now, with Tester's rival, his Republican rival, gaining whatever the Libertarian candidate was at.
00:31:47.000 That's better than 50-50.
00:31:49.000 That's what I said.
00:31:49.000 55-44.
00:31:51.000 56-44.
00:31:54.000 It could be.
00:31:55.000 I'm estimating 54 for the Republicans.
00:31:57.000 I'm not going to waste my time talking to Satanists if they don't use their powers.
00:32:01.000 This is 54 to 44.
00:32:06.000 I mean, to 46.
00:32:08.000 Okay.
00:32:08.000 46, 54.
00:32:11.000 And then what about the House?
00:32:13.000 I literally cannot give you an estimate.
00:32:15.000 It's a 50-50 chance.
00:32:17.000 There's too little polling in too many races.
00:32:19.000 So you're not even going to use Satanism?
00:32:22.000 No, I'm not even going to be able to use Satanism for that one.
00:32:25.000 I would say my gut instinct is the Democrats will retake it narrowly.
00:32:28.000 But again, there Are so many races for which there's no actual accurate recent polling unless we get a whole slew of it in the next two days?
00:32:36.000 It's completely worthless.
00:32:38.000 A lot of it's pre-Kavanaugh polling, so there's no way to tell if it's accurate.
00:32:42.000 Right.
00:32:42.000 And that's a big difference.
00:32:43.000 That's the crazy thing about all of this: every day is a seismic shift because there's so much going on thanks to God's sake.
00:32:51.000 And mostly in the Republicans' favor, I would say, at least with regards to the Senate and especially the Florida gubernatorial race now as well.
00:33:00.000 Okay.
00:33:01.000 Well, thank you for the predictions.
00:33:04.000 I'm going to add about, I'm going to say five seats in the House for Republicans, and I'm going to say 55, 45 for the Senate.
00:33:12.000 So you're expecting Republicans to maintain the House by five or gain five?
00:33:16.000 Gain five more.
00:33:17.000 So I guess that's 245.
00:33:19.000 Oh, yeah.
00:33:20.000 Yeah, we definitely disagree on that one.
00:33:23.000 Doesn't matter, though, as you pointed out, because if Nancy Pelosi is running the opposition, Trump's going to enjoy that more than having a GOP.
00:33:31.000 Yeah, in a way, I almost hope that the Democrats retake the House so we have two years of incoherent sputum from Nancy Pelosi.
00:33:38.000 It'll be the funniest thing ever.
00:33:41.000 All right, man.
00:33:41.000 Thanks for coming on the show.
00:33:42.000 I like you more than your friend.
00:33:44.000 Have a good one.
00:33:49.000 It's not a big fight.
00:33:51.000 I don't like stand-up comedy anymore.
00:33:52.000 I used to go to clubs a lot, but it's over.
00:33:56.000 The genre has been ruined by social justice warriors and political correctness.
00:34:00.000 It's just not funny anymore.
00:34:02.000 The left has ruined humor.
00:34:05.000 Now, this is, what is this?
00:34:07.000 This is a podcast?
00:34:08.000 Oh, yeah, from the Kill Tony podcast.
00:34:11.000 Okay.
00:34:12.000 I believe that's Brian Redband, formerly of the Joe Rogan Experience.
00:34:16.000 So you know all this stuff.
00:34:17.000 You still care about these people.
00:34:18.000 Do you think there's hope for stand-up comedy?
00:34:21.000 Well, I've heard about it.
00:34:21.000 You know what?
00:34:22.000 I can't say the entire thing is crappy, but there's a lot.
00:34:26.000 You know, it seems to embrace more crappiness than goodness, but I like the Adam Sandler.
00:34:31.000 Adam Sandler and a good special.
00:34:32.000 Well, of course, the legends are still funny.
00:34:34.000 Louis C.K. is still funny.
00:34:35.000 But I will say that there are guys like Louis J. Gomez and Dave Smith, those Legionist gangsters, and Aaron Berg, and of course the whole Cumia network, where they are still brave enough to be offensive.
00:34:46.000 Right.
00:34:47.000 Yeah, there is a group of, I guess, like a cluster.
00:34:49.000 As John Cleese said, all comedy, good comedy, has an element of mean-spiritedness.
00:34:57.000 Sorry.
00:34:58.000 That's why men are better at it than women, because men are better at being mean.
00:35:02.000 Comedy is malicious, I'm afraid.
00:35:05.000 Even Jerry Seinfeld, who seems so clean, his stand-up contains elements of rage and frustration at the general population.
00:35:16.000 He's just mad at socks and sandals as opposed to entire groups of people.
00:35:20.000 But this is a perfect example of why comedy is terrible.
00:35:24.000 So they're doing a big set and they're having a bunch of different guys.
00:35:27.000 And then the dude with the saxophone says, we've had too many dudes here.
00:35:31.000 Let's get women up.
00:35:32.000 No, pause it, pause it.
00:35:33.000 Let's get some women up.
00:35:35.000 And why?
00:35:38.000 Like, shouldn't it just be, let's get some, the funniest people should come up there.
00:35:41.000 So they've got a list of, I guess it's open micers who are going to come up and try to do a set.
00:35:46.000 And, you know, if you're an open micer, you should have a few jokes ready.
00:35:49.000 And I guess some guys went up and they were doing their job, trying to make people laugh.
00:35:53.000 And they go, no, no, no, let's enforce gender equality right now.
00:35:58.000 This isn't a time to focus on meritocracy and what's funny.
00:36:01.000 Let's make sure we have maximum women on the stage.
00:36:04.000 So they go through the list saying no, no, no, no, no, until they finally find a woman.
00:36:10.000 Then in that case, I'm going to go through the bucket until we find a lady.
00:36:14.000 Sound fair?
00:36:15.000 No.
00:36:16.000 Cross up with a female.
00:36:19.000 Nope.
00:36:20.000 What?
00:36:21.000 It's the opposite of fair.
00:36:22.000 Shut up.
00:36:23.000 This is affirmative action here.
00:36:25.000 Here we go.
00:36:26.000 Your final comedian of the night goes by the name of Bridget.
00:36:29.000 Make some noise for Bridget Cybel, ladies and gentlemen.
00:36:33.000 Closing out the show.
00:36:35.000 Make me laugh.
00:36:36.000 So yeah, earlier in this podcast, I was the one that booed, so.
00:36:40.000 You know, I gotta add a little sauce to it.
00:36:43.000 So I just moved from Chicago after five years of living there, but I did grow up in Cleveland, so that's why I'm here.
00:36:48.000 I escaped purgatory, and then I came back until I moved to Melbourne.
00:36:53.000 But I'm drunk, so I have no idea what to say now, so this is a total mistake.
00:37:00.000 I apologize on behalf of all the other females, all of none that apparently entered, because this entire show.
00:37:07.000 I put my neck out for you!
00:37:09.000 Exactly!
00:37:09.000 This entire show!
00:37:11.000 Lock her up!
00:37:12.000 Lock her up!
00:37:13.000 It was great to sit here for at least five white men to tell us things that weren't funny.
00:37:21.000 And then...
00:37:24.000 Wait a second.
00:37:25.000 Hold on.
00:37:26.000 What's your dog?
00:37:28.000 Excuse me?
00:37:28.000 Stop.
00:37:31.000 Stop.
00:37:35.000 Okay.
00:37:36.000 All right.
00:37:37.000 Everybody stop doing things.
00:37:40.000 Bridget, what would you just say about five white guys?
00:37:43.000 What did you say?
00:37:44.000 Just the fact that I got really drunk because I had to listen to five of them in a row.
00:37:48.000 Oh, it's my fault.
00:37:49.000 That's why I wrote my drink back.
00:37:50.000 I see what you're saying.
00:37:51.000 Bridget, first of all, let me, you know, I know a lot of people think I'm going to be mean to her, but let me start by saying that is one of the funniest performances by a female comedian I've ever seen in my life.
00:38:03.000 Okay, that's enough.
00:38:05.000 Whoa.
00:38:06.000 I love how she just showed us the problem with affirmative action and not basing things on meritocracy.
00:38:13.000 And then, even after being human evidence, she still takes it back to this is about white men and we have too many white men.
00:38:22.000 And the reason I'm bombing now is because I got drunk because I had to listen to white men.
00:38:26.000 Oh, okay.
00:38:27.000 So affirmative action still works.
00:38:29.000 You just get really drunk when we take too long to affirmative action you.