This week, Ryan and Bailey talk about a song about a woman named Phoebe Cates, and why they think she's the most attractive woman in the world. They also talk about why they don't like Victoria's Secret models.
Transcript
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00:01:01.000Isn't that weird that some singer would just, like the Bee Gees, would all of a sudden decide, I'm gonna start going, ah, this is how I sing.
00:01:09.000Or that, remember that band, I'm going down the country, see what I can find.
00:01:40.000So that was Jackson Brown, and that song was in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, starring Phoebe Cates.
00:01:48.000We all know the famous scene where she comes out of the pool and she reveals her breasts to the world.
00:01:52.000And I was talking about this with Ryan recently.
00:01:54.000There's in the subway when we get off at Times Square, there's a big, huge billboard campaign now of Victoria's secret models.
00:02:06.000And they're too beautiful to be attractive.
00:02:09.000And that's what I was saying in the other show, and Ryan disappointed me by not pulling up the faces.
00:02:13.000But like, Lonnie Anderson was the main secretary at WKRP.
00:02:19.000She was too, like, there's a level of beauty where you're handsome, and, you know, the strong cowcatcher chin and stuff, and you just go, meh, you're a handsome guy.
00:03:16.000They're all just this perfect like, you said handsome, basically.
00:03:25.000And some of them you look at them and you think, if you would remove those false eyelashes and have a short hairdo and put a suit on, you'd be a dashing man like Brad Pitt.
00:04:11.000If there's a guy in the world who doesn't find Phoebe Cates in Fast Times and Ridgemont High attractive, I would like to study him in a lab.
00:04:20.000I would be like Darwin in the Galapagos Islands finding a new species.
00:04:51.000And I'm going to talk to him about it.
00:04:52.000We have him on the show at the end of the show.
00:04:54.000But I find it, you don't have to like or care about Anthony Coomi.
00:04:58.000And this is Opian Anthony, the shock shock guy.
00:05:00.000You don't have to care about him to enjoy this book.
00:05:02.000But it's just interesting watching the evolution of free speech.
00:05:04.000He goes all the way back to the 80s, and you see a working-class guy who obviously has a lot of talent and is funny, get into radio, and then you see the various reactions you get.
00:05:15.000And what you really notice is it goes from the FCC being the bad guys in the 90s, 80s, and 90s to the mob.
00:05:22.000And the mob is much harder to deal with than the government.
00:05:25.000And that's the sort of takeaway from this book is that fighting social justice warriors is worse than fighting the government because the government at least has some standards.
00:05:39.000Also on the front page of the New York Post today, we got Trump card.
00:05:42.000The president told in an exclusive to the New York Post that if the Dems come after him, he has some devastating docks he's going to release.
00:07:02.000The picture, if you were just to read that without the picture, you'd go, oh, there's some, you know, Midwestern couple with three kids who go and have orgies every week or have mistresses, and it turns out great for everybody.
00:08:01.000Okay, just because you found one crazy example that you made up that's hypothetical doesn't mean you get to wipe out tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of unborn children.
00:08:10.000It's funny that same-sex couples, they fight for marriage and then the first thing they do is they change it to something that's not marriage.
00:08:17.000Yeah, I thought you wanted to get married.
00:08:18.000Why don't you just make something new?
00:08:21.000Well, I like the part where I can visit my spouse on a hospital bed.
00:08:46.000We don't allow friends in the hospital.
00:08:49.000Now, this picture that we had on the show the other day, the immigrant crossing, I wanted to have a closer look at it because it won't die.
00:12:23.000Now, I've seen a lot of pictures of war zones, and they don't have guys setting up tripods, and they don't have a dude with a green backpack going on a stroll, and they don't have someone taking a selfie with a $500 phone.
00:12:36.000You just, you got your image, and you just ran with it.
00:12:47.000It's just celebrities and comedians screaming at the top of their thumbs about Trump and Nazis and I don't want to live in this America and having panic attacks And Trump, Trump, Trump, and getting people fired and just this disdain and vitriol.
00:13:07.000It's like, you remember that we did the turkey episode, and they said, you know, you need a few male turkeys to protect, to just calm everyone.
00:13:16.000And what Twitter's done is it's gotten rid of me and Milo and all the male turkeys, and now you just have female turkeys running around, and they are just going absolutely ballistic.
00:13:27.000By the way, I mean, you don't, it's not like a camera just takes one picture and like, oh man, we just got the picture with the tear gas canister that far away.
00:15:04.000And of course, this was written by Sarah DeMazio, but she needed a guy named Eric Knowles to hold her hand through it.
00:15:12.000But from boasting about the size of his penis on national television to releasing records of his high testosterone levels, President Trump's rhetoric and behavior exude machismo.
00:15:22.000His behavior, by the way, he sends out stuff like that because you won't shut up about his small penis and his small hands and how he's gay for Putin.
00:15:49.000Men are sitting at home getting told they're evil, they're toxic, man spreading, making it illegal to not use pronouns.
00:15:56.000And normal dads are just going, this is getting ridiculous.
00:16:00.000Let's just, we tried Obama, they didn't shut up, let's just elect Trump and say no more of this SJW crap, it's annoying.
00:16:07.000And then they go, ooh, you're so fragile.
00:16:10.000You're so, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:16:13.000When a kid gets a timeout for swearing or something, he doesn't go to his dad, ooh, now you have to give me a timeout because you're so scared of swear words.
00:16:22.000No, you're being a bad boy is why you're getting a timeout.
00:16:29.000And make up your mind, by the way, is this too, is America full of these evil, machismo, rednecks, racist white men, or is it a bunch of wimpy neckbeards?
00:16:52.000Okay, one thing I do have to squeeze in here.
00:16:55.000I was talking to Ezra Levant last night, and I was talking about what we talked about on the other show, where the government is paying the media $600 million for favorable stories, which is the most Venezuelan thing Canada has ever done.
00:17:09.000And the hilarious thing about it is every time you read articles about it, it's very fair and cool grant going to newspapers who could do with some freedom of press and free speech.
00:17:20.000You go, wow, you're a good little pet, aren't you?
00:18:52.000That is, it is brave because I don't know so much about what network he's on, but you watch older things like Fox and every single commercial is Zootaflex, ask your doctor about pharmaceutical Zapotecs.
00:19:05.000Purdue, these people, these pharma people, Purdue, they deny the charges, but here's the thing.
00:19:13.000Despite telling Congress that they didn't know about Oxie's potential for abuse until 2000, prosecutors have found that in over 100 notes recording their visits to doctors in the late 90s, the company's sales representatives used the words street value, crush, or Snort.
00:19:31.000No, that's what happens when the head of sales is El Chapo.
00:19:35.000Anyway, so they kept it funny, but he covered everything.
00:19:55.000I think New York Mag also did a really good expose.
00:19:58.000But he also talks about how they are patenting the cure, the opioid blocker.
00:20:02.000So just like a Superman movie, the evil villain gets the world addicted to a deadly drug that kills 115 Americans a day, and then Lex Luthor sells the cure.
00:20:14.000Anyway, that's all the news we can squeeze out because I want to talk in depth about free speech with my old boss, Anthony Cumi.
00:20:21.000I'm sure it'll be a totally unbiased interview where I'm not, where I'm really hitting Anthony with the tough questions.
00:20:44.000It's very conversational, and I know you're not the unlaziest person on earth, and I'm getting the feeling when I'm reading it that a lot of this was just dictated, and then some poor bastard had to sit there and get all the grammar right.
00:21:17.000Well, it ends up being a very easy read because it's so conversational.
00:21:21.000And people who aren't familiar with your story in the Open Anthony years, I think one of the most interesting things about this whole book is this concept of a major corporation like Sirius paying two guys not to do radio.
00:21:37.000I've never heard of anything like that before.
00:21:46.000Yes, CBS Radio paid us millions of dollars to not work for two years.
00:21:54.000Yeah, they were petrified that Clear Channel, another company, was going to hire us to do mornings and go against Howard Stern, who CBS had, obviously.
00:22:04.000And even if we didn't beat Howard, if we just took enough listeners away where he wasn't number one anymore, they'd have lost millions of dollars.
00:22:12.000So they said, let's pay them, keep them under contract, and keep them off of anyone's radio for two years.
00:22:20.000So it was an amazing two years of just abusing myself and gambling and buying radio control helicopters and just playing with millions of dollars.
00:22:35.000And I'm reading it and wondering, how often does this happen?
00:23:59.000I've been doing all these interviews since I was in the news, and they always say, yeah, but you have to understand that in this climate, you say those things, and they're going to get taken out of context.
00:24:09.000And you go, okay, we'll all be non-playable characters and just speak like in gray monotone everywhere.
00:24:44.000Like the people are so brainwashed now to have this visceral reaction to a joke that could be perceived as sexist or racist or homophobic that they don't know what to do.
00:24:59.000And first of all, I think the non-playable character thing is hilariously funny because it's so accurate.
00:25:06.000Like I've played so many video games through my life and the NPC has always made me laugh.
00:25:12.000They just walk up and go, hey, watch where you're going.
00:25:52.000Yeah, and surely these entertainers realize that when you create this culture of Puritanism, you're going to get sucked into it.
00:25:59.000Like Aziz Ansari, he just came out of hiding after that horrible rape that he committed where she performed fellatio seven times or something.
00:26:10.000It's the weirdest sexual assault I've ever heard of in my life.
00:26:13.000But he comes out and now he has a whole shtick about armchair critics and social justice warriors and how they ruin lives.
00:26:20.000And I'm reading it going, dude, you were one of them.
00:26:30.000I don't think they realize that within a split second, it can turn on you.
00:26:36.000You see like Alyssa Milano talking about the Me Too movement and how the leaders of that movement have to go because they didn't disavow Farrakhan and some of the hatred and anti-Semitism.
00:26:51.000It's like they just have to go after whatever's around them.
00:26:55.000And it doesn't matter who it is or what their opinions were yesterday.
00:27:13.000What are you going to do in the matriarchy?
00:27:14.000We're going to have a giant woman's march with pussy hats on our head because we didn't get a joke, a guy said in a bus.
00:27:19.000One of the speakers is Linda Sarsour, who wants Sharia law and wants to destroy Israel.
00:27:24.000The other was, what was her name, Donna Hilton or something, who sodomized a gay man to death and went to jail for 20 years.
00:27:34.000And you go, ladies, this world, you're getting rid of Anthony and I. You're getting rid of all these evil white men that you think are ruining.
00:27:41.000Your situation, your paganism is going to be way worse.
00:27:50.000And to read some of the stuff I see by like Mark Hamill on Twitter and a couple of other guys that are like, men have been in charge for too long.
00:28:05.000And they paint this picture, this idealistic wonderfulness that mom is going to be in charge and take care of us and make the world a better place.
00:28:16.000I've never seen a more vindictive people than women.
00:29:17.000And all they're doing is basing their pleasure of the results of the election on their sex and not their qualifications or anything.
00:29:28.000And they always have been and always will be the most sexist, racist, homophobic people based on their actions that I've ever seen.
00:29:38.000Well, they smashed your patriarchy because you had a bunch of offensive tweets after you got assaulted by a giant black tranny and didn't use your gun.
00:29:48.000If the races were reversed, it would be a story of a hero who kept his cool.
00:29:55.000But you could have just withered away and vanished and just become a nothing.
00:30:00.000But starting that compound media, you're saying in the book that you were finally unleashed.
00:30:07.000And you'd think, okay, now the guy's unleashed.
00:30:09.000He's obviously a racist, sexist homophobe.
00:30:11.000So it's just going to be long diatribes and blackface and talking about why rape should be legalized.
00:30:18.000But when men are free to do whatever they want, you just end up having a pretty reasonable talk show where you talk about funny stuff.
00:30:35.000You would think that I'd be on there like, you know, Farrakhan or David Duke or someone and just be going off about the races and everything.
00:30:44.000And meanwhile, being unleashed has just pretty much been, let's have a lot of fun.
00:30:50.000Let's do comedy and make jokes about things without having to worry that my joke is going to be taken out of context and I'm going to get screwed for it.
00:31:01.000I didn't decide to turn complete freedom of speech into some racist or misogynistic platform to condone violence against people.
00:31:16.000All we want to do is sit around with our friends and make jokes and bust each other's balls and laugh sometimes at some really atrocious things.
00:31:28.000And guys have done this for millennia.
00:31:30.000It's nothing new and it's nothing that can be bred out of us in a couple of short years because a few soy boys like we were just talking about are waving flags.
00:32:44.000You had a chick booking all the guests there with gigantic breasts, and there was a million jokes about it, and she was laughing her head off.
00:32:53.000Yeah, I guess recently something came out about the work environment at CBS Radio years ago.
00:33:03.000And of course, there's lawsuits because of sexual harassment and what have you.
00:33:10.000And I worked at CBS during that period.
00:33:12.000And I got to tell you, it was a party.
00:35:29.000There is definitely a price to be paid for doing nothing more than expressing yourself, giving your opinions, making jokes, all innocent things.
00:35:40.000Never advocating violence, never perpetrating violence against anybody, never oppressing anybody.
00:37:12.000They're on their little scooters out here, little scooters that are all over the place.
00:37:18.000And they just ride around with their man buns and grub and just looking to support women.
00:37:28.000Yeah, last time I was there, I noticed that it hadn't occurred to anyone in the entire city that Obama was not a god, and Obama had imperfections, and there was one or two things slightly wrong with his presidency, like, I don't know, Fast and Furious, Benghazi, you know, minor details like that.
00:37:45.000And then the other thing I noticed is they see Bill Maher as basically God.
00:37:51.000And every time you get in an argument with him, they go, you should get on Bill Maher.
00:39:37.000So, yeah, this guy who works in a pot dispensary, who obviously has conservative ideas, couldn't even really speak openly lest he'd be fired.
00:41:31.000I've talked to a lot of people that are very polite in accepting other people's mindsets and ideas and other people that need to strike out and lash out the second they hear that you're a Trump supporter or a conservative.
00:43:37.000I don't think anyone worries about the FCC anymore.
00:43:40.000They're worried about one that tweets something out of context, and the next thing you know, the pylon has happened, and you're out of a job, and people are at your house with pitchforks and torches.
00:44:11.000I forget what it's called, a documentary.
00:44:13.000And he was big in the 90s, 80s, and he would go and refute psychics and pay them a million dollars if they could prove they were actually psychic.
00:44:22.000And there's all these videos of these guys.
00:44:24.000Like, there's a great video of Johnny Carson, Uri Geller's on there, and Johnny Carson, you know, gives him a real bona fide opportunity to prove his magical powers.
00:45:51.000So he outsmarts him by putting these peanut, like these styrofoam peanuts all over the place.
00:45:59.000So obviously this guy's probably got something literally up his sleeve where he squeezes it and it shoots air out and you can change the page because you didn't see him.
00:47:45.000All right, folks, we're way over time here, as per ush.
00:47:48.000But if you are a psychic out there and you're taking advantage of people whose family just died and you're giving them hope that they spoke to a loved one or you're telling them you can help them with their cancer or other vicious lies, I want you to know that you're going to hell.
00:48:02.000And maybe you should just sell your soul to the devil, get real magic powers, because you're already headed there anyway.