Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 03, 2018


Ep 214 | Don’t Merge With the Blaze | Get Off My Lawn


Episode Stats


Length

41 minutes

Words per minute

171.53877

Word count

7,116

Sentence count

771

Harmful content

Misogyny

31

sentences flagged

Hate speech

37

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the boys talk about their favorite hip hop artists of the 90s and early 2000s. They discuss their favorite artists from the era, their favorite rappers, and what it means to be a hip hop artist in the 21st century.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:29.000 So we got hopes and means, we got ways and means.
00:00:32.000 The supreme dream theme opens up with a scheme.
00:00:34.000 From hell captains selling raps, name your theme, mirage through the top, floating on the screen.
00:00:39.000 Who the hell wanna stop me?
00:00:40.000 I hated those who got me.
00:00:41.000 I'm a new refugee.
00:00:45.000 Yeah.
00:00:49.000 That's a nice clean-looking set.
00:00:51.000 Did we adjust the lighting?
00:00:54.000 Seems a little sharper.
00:00:56.000 That was Praz.
00:00:58.000 From the Fujis?
00:00:58.000 Remember him?
00:01:01.000 Fujis coming from the name Refugees. 0.97
00:01:03.000 I think one of them, Wyclef Jean, was Haitian.
00:01:07.000 So they decided to really focus on that and make their whole thing, we're all refugees.
00:01:12.000 Yeah, sure you are.
00:01:15.000 And they went on to have wonderful independent careers.
00:01:20.000 You had Wyclef Jean, who...
00:01:21.000 Well, their hit was...
00:01:22.000 What was that?
00:01:23.000 Killing Me Softly?
00:01:24.000 And then Wyclef Jean...
00:01:28.000 Jean?
00:01:28.000 Jean?
00:01:29.000 Living in Quebec ruined my pronunciation. 1.00
00:01:31.000 I think it's Jean.
00:01:33.000 And then who's it?
00:01:34.000 Lauren, what's her name? 0.99
00:01:37.000 Hill.
00:01:38.000 Lauren Hill, who I think is a complete mental patient.
00:01:41.000 She's weird.
00:01:41.000 She's nutty.
00:01:42.000 She's like Erica Badou.
00:01:44.000 One of those creative.
00:01:45.000 What do you keep doing with the volume?
00:01:46.000 You're like DJ Jazzy Master Jeff over there.
00:01:51.000 What are you, Funkmaster Flex?
00:01:52.000 Strigity scratching the...
00:01:56.000 Dude, turn down the volume every time you're not talking?
00:01:59.000 Yeah, because I got a little hum that I have to figure out here.
00:02:01.000 And it's not the chord.
00:02:03.000 It's just boring stuff.
00:02:04.000 Well, we know you got a little hum.
00:02:05.000 You're Asian. 0.99
00:02:05.000 That's okay. 0.99
00:02:08.000 No one cares.
00:02:09.000 It doesn't affect your work.
00:02:11.000 It's just one person's other genitals notices. 0.67
00:02:15.000 The rest of us are oblivious.
00:02:18.000 I have a little hum.
00:02:19.000 What?
00:02:25.000 One thing I should warn you about before we get started.
00:02:29.000 Yeah, so Lauren Hill and Wyclef Jain had very successful careers after the Fujis, but that guy Praz, he only had this hit, Ghetto Superstar.
00:02:39.000 Oh my Lord in heaven above.
00:02:41.000 Look how beautiful Maya was. 0.84
00:02:43.000 This is like 99, maybe.
00:02:46.000 What in the Toledo?
00:02:48.000 Her career never really went anywhere after this either.
00:02:51.000 This song was a curse.
00:02:53.000 It was also a jam.
00:02:55.000 Oh, I should have marked the time.
00:02:57.000 So, can we just tune in on Maya in the 90s?
00:03:01.000 Because it's my exact favorite type, the cutie pie type.
00:03:04.000 I don't like gorgeous, handsome models. 0.96
00:03:08.000 Like Victoria's Sacred Hello.
00:03:10.000 I'm Michelle Pfeiffer, and I have a bigger chin than you.
00:03:16.000 Which is not that uncommon, believe it or not.
00:03:20.000 Believe it or not, lots of people have a bigger chin than mine.
00:03:24.000 And this is with fake chin on it.
00:03:26.000 When I take the beard away, this is what you're dealing with.
00:03:29.000 Literally zero.
00:03:31.000 That's why I call my dad a turtle with AIDS.
00:03:35.000 Yeah, but I sent you a better picture.
00:03:37.000 Oh, you did?
00:03:37.000 Yeah, you may want to check the notes.
00:03:41.000 Oh, she was.
00:03:42.000 Okay, I got it.
00:03:44.000 She was pretty piquant. 0.99
00:03:47.000 This one's alright.
00:03:49.000 Yeah.
00:03:50.000 Do you like that kind of chick? 1.00
00:03:51.000 Yeah, and you know who I like even better?
00:03:53.000 Who's the conservative chick from Clueless? 0.99
00:03:56.000 Yeah, she really.
00:03:57.000 She's insane. 0.98
00:03:58.000 When black girls do the cute Disney thing, it just cute Disney, yeah. 1.00
00:04:02.000 I've noticed that with other races.
00:04:04.000 Like, they don't seem to have a ceiling.
00:04:06.000 You know, if I go to a powwow with my wife, there's, you know, some ugly fat Indians and some okay Indians. 1.00
00:04:11.000 But then when there's an insane babe, it's bizarre that she's like an 11. 1.00
00:04:16.000 Stratospheric.
00:04:17.000 Stratospheric.
00:04:18.000 You'll just go, oh my God.
00:04:20.000 Like you'll sort of, oh, geez, are you okay?
00:04:23.000 It's like seeing a burn victim.
00:04:24.000 They're elephant man hot.
00:04:26.000 Yeah, and you have to keep observing it because you're afraid that maybe it'll go away.
00:04:29.000 You're like, I have to study, I have to figure out why this is.
00:04:36.000 You turn into big A. You're worried about her.
00:04:39.000 Do you want to sit down?
00:04:40.000 You're so hot that I'm concerned about you.
00:04:44.000 Let me put on some oven mitts and help you sit down. 1.00
00:04:47.000 You're going to explode.
00:04:49.000 You're too pretty.
00:04:53.000 All right.
00:04:55.000 This is her like really recently, too.
00:04:58.000 Ooh, black don't crack. 0.87
00:05:00.000 That true?
00:05:01.000 True dad.
00:05:02.000 Anyway, so why did I play pros of all songs?
00:05:05.000 Oh, by the way, before we even get to that, usually I take out the New York Post and I show you today's cover, right?
00:05:12.000 This is the craziest thing.
00:05:14.000 And the kids today, every time they're playing a game or something or dodgeball and physics doesn't go in their favor, they say glitch.
00:05:21.000 That's the new thing with the kid.
00:05:22.000 When I say kids, I mean literal 12-year-olds, 10-year-olds, my kids.
00:05:25.000 They say glitch all the time.
00:05:26.000 They're so arrogant, the kids today, that if they're playing foosball or something and it doesn't go where they thought it would, they go glitch.
00:05:32.000 Like God is up there just sort of going, oh, oh, shoot, I wasn't watching.
00:05:39.000 A ball goes in.
00:05:41.000 Like they think God keeps screwing up because things don't go their way.
00:05:45.000 And I'm starting to believe them.
00:05:47.000 There's a glitch here at the studio.
00:05:49.000 I know for a fact I brought the paper in here.
00:05:53.000 I had it rolled up in my jacket.
00:05:55.000 I pulled it out.
00:05:56.000 I brought some other stuff that we needed for the studio.
00:05:59.000 Brought it all in.
00:06:00.000 Everything that I brought is here.
00:06:01.000 And I vividly remember rolling it up.
00:06:03.000 I was wearing a jean jacket.
00:06:04.000 I rolled it up and I stuck it in my inner pocket.
00:06:06.000 I remember riding my bicycle to the train station and feeling it there.
00:06:09.000 I read it on the train.
00:06:10.000 I rolled it up, put it back in my pocket.
00:06:12.000 I remember feeling it in my pocket.
00:06:13.000 It's definitely not on the train, so don't say that.
00:06:15.000 You read it?
00:06:16.000 Yes.
00:06:17.000 See, I was wondering maybe if it was a different post for some reason.
00:06:22.000 But if you read it and you knew it was today, that's definitely not the training.
00:06:27.000 Yeah, it bothers me just as much as you, too.
00:06:29.000 And I want To be in your head, so I could weigh out all of the factors, but I think I'm taking your word for all of them, and I'm just as confused, and I think I know the full story.
00:06:38.000 So, here's another thing we did: we checked the garbage because we emptied the wastebaskets when we got here, went through the garbage.
00:06:45.000 It's all different posts.
00:06:47.000 I think God screwed up.
00:06:49.000 It was a glitch.
00:06:50.000 It was a glitch.
00:06:51.000 I think right now God is in heaven going, stupid, stupid, stupid.
00:06:57.000 He's embarrassed.
00:06:58.000 Hey, God, don't worry about it.
00:07:00.000 The post is what, a dollar?
00:07:01.000 Don't worry about it.
00:07:03.000 It's a boring cover anyway.
00:07:03.000 We're fine.
00:07:05.000 It's about the real estate in Long Island City going up after Amazon moved in.
00:07:10.000 No one watching this show cares.
00:07:12.000 The only people who care about this cover story are real estate owners in Long Island City.
00:07:17.000 No problem.
00:07:18.000 Just don't, like earthquakes, mudslides, lightning storms, that's kind of stuff where we go, please watch what you're doing.
00:07:25.000 As far as losing the New York Post in a studio with absolutely zero explanation, we've checked everything.
00:07:31.000 We went to the cafeteria that we all share here and checked the cupboards and the fridge.
00:07:40.000 Anyway, so that actually that's the biggest story of the year.
00:07:44.000 Physics defied.
00:07:45.000 Yeah.
00:07:46.000 That's a major deal.
00:07:48.000 How often does that happen?
00:07:50.000 Apparently, according to kids, it happens a lot.
00:07:52.000 Well, the kids are wrong.
00:07:53.000 I'm right.
00:07:55.000 I think there was an example of alchemy.
00:07:57.000 Do you know what alchemy is?
00:07:59.000 Yeah.
00:07:59.000 Like when you turn iron into gold.
00:08:02.000 I think there was some Russian nuclear reactor where they changed something into gold.
00:08:09.000 Look that up.
00:08:10.000 It'll take you about a day.
00:08:14.000 So that is the only other example of physics making a mistake.
00:08:18.000 When they committed alchemy and when they lost my New York Post.
00:08:23.000 Twice.
00:08:24.000 God has made two mistakes and he made Hitler three. 0.97
00:08:29.000 I think I got it.
00:08:30.000 Russian alchemy in the modern age, Russians extract gold from coal.
00:08:36.000 Is that alchemy or is that just discovering gold within?
00:08:38.000 Yeah, it's not alchemy if you find something, but if they crush it and make it into gold, that's alchemy.
00:08:44.000 Lots of people, Martina Markota believes in alchemy, you know.
00:08:48.000 She calls herself an alchemist.
00:08:50.000 Sorry, lady, you're only an alchemist if you can turn coal into gold. 1.00
00:08:54.000 Anyway, I don't know why we brought that up.
00:08:56.000 That's more podcasty stuff.
00:08:57.000 I still haven't even started the show.
00:08:59.000 So, why did I play that song, Ghetto Superstar?
00:09:03.000 Because if you check in with Praz and you go, oh, that sucks.
00:09:08.000 You had what's it called?
00:09:10.000 A triumvirant, a band with three people in it.
00:09:14.000 Two of them did well, and you didn't go anywhere.
00:09:17.000 I wonder what he's up to.
00:09:18.000 You want to know what he's up to?
00:09:20.000 Fuji's founder, Prakasrel.
00:09:24.000 Prakazrel?
00:09:25.000 Proz Michel?
00:09:27.000 Nope.
00:09:27.000 Prakazrel.
00:09:29.000 Michelle.
00:09:30.000 That's classic Ryan.
00:09:31.000 He just comes in to correct and makes things worse.
00:09:37.000 But this what?
00:09:39.000 Proz Michelle.
00:09:40.000 Michael.
00:09:41.000 Yes.
00:09:41.000 I'm going a little farther down than the headline.
00:09:44.000 Thank you for your help, tutor.
00:09:46.000 Thanks, mentor.
00:09:47.000 Oh, that would be Proc Azrel.
00:09:49.000 Yes.
00:09:50.000 Oh, we're almost back to where I was.
00:09:52.000 Let's get us up to speed.
00:09:54.000 Proc Azrel Michelle is under scrutiny for conspiring to funnel tens of millions of dollars to assist a Malaysian fugitive.
00:10:06.000 Court documents revealed Friday indicate Michelle and former Justice Department official George Higginbossum were allegedly involved in an elaborate scheme to funnel the cash to influence investigations involving financer Joe Lowe, who authorities claim is on the lamb.
00:10:26.000 Wow.
00:10:28.000 Okay, so that's what Proz is up to.
00:10:30.000 Hey, Maya, do you have a story even close to as interesting as that?
00:10:35.000 That's the weirdest thing I've ever seen.
00:10:38.000 You check in on a rapper that you haven't heard of since the 90s, and he is funneling tens of millions of dollars into the Malaysian court system to free a fugitive.
00:10:48.000 Why?
00:10:50.000 He's not, like, maybe if he was Malaysian, I'd understand.
00:10:52.000 Maybe family is involved.
00:10:53.000 If he was a Haitian fugitive, maybe we could talk. 0.79
00:10:55.000 But why the hell is Praz, ghetto superstar, trying to free Malaysian fugitives? 0.99
00:11:01.000 Help me out here.
00:11:04.000 Anyway, I thought that was interesting.
00:11:06.000 It's weird not having an audience, a live audience, because I don't know if something's funny or not.
00:11:11.000 Like, it's just dead air.
00:11:13.000 It's like doing comedy to a room of NPCs.
00:11:17.000 I hope that hit.
00:11:19.000 Yeah, I'll never know.
00:11:21.000 I can't even check Twitter to see if it hit.
00:11:23.000 I'll get DMs sometimes for some people, and they just say difficult situation, and that, oh yeah, the band fun is not good, and Bon Jovi is actually pretty awesome.
00:11:34.000 Okay.
00:11:35.000 So people liking you and hating me.
00:11:36.000 Okay, good.
00:11:37.000 Well, no, also defending your socks, which, you know, I posted a poll on Instagram whether gray socks and white sneakers are okay, and they're fans of yours, so they said it was okay, but I disagree.
00:11:48.000 Your set looks like crap.
00:11:51.000 Let me see you again.
00:11:54.000 That's a little better.
00:11:55.000 What's your shirt say?
00:11:56.000 Relax?
00:11:57.000 Frankie says relax.
00:11:58.000 I got into an argument at Chili's over this shirt.
00:12:00.000 This lady just butted in to my life. 1.00
00:12:03.000 Me and my girlfriend were there.
00:12:05.000 And we wound up having this blowout where she calls me a Nazi.
00:12:09.000 I was like, you just called me a Nazi in Chili's.
00:12:13.000 Nazis got to eat too.
00:12:17.000 I was really careful about how I hailed the waiter over, too.
00:12:20.000 I was like, waiter, come over here.
00:12:22.000 Waiter.
00:12:24.000 Waiter.
00:12:26.000 And yeah, my girlfriend was like, Ryan, just stop. 1.00
00:12:29.000 I was like, she just called me a Nazi in public.
00:12:31.000 Yeah.
00:12:32.000 I'm not yelling at the woman either, by the way.
00:12:34.000 We brought this up before.
00:12:35.000 Isn't that the same?
00:12:36.000 Isn't that an epithet?
00:12:39.000 Yeah, it's kind of the worst thing.
00:12:41.000 I want to start from base here.
00:12:43.000 Lady, are Nazis bad? 0.97
00:12:45.000 Yes.
00:12:45.000 Is that a pretty serious thing to be?
00:12:47.000 Oh, yeah.
00:12:48.000 So why would you just flippantly call somebody that?
00:12:51.000 You call someone a faggot?
00:12:53.000 That's harsh.
00:12:54.000 And don't bleep that out because it's relevant to the story.
00:12:57.000 I'm talking about words.
00:12:58.000 So I'm not using it in a derogatory way.
00:13:02.000 But how is Nazi not as bad as Faggot? 1.00
00:13:05.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:13:06.000 I think they're both pretty bad.
00:13:08.000 It's pretty much saying murderer on a mass level.
00:13:11.000 Yeah, like say you beat up a guy and you were screaming Nazi as you beat him up.
00:13:14.000 Couldn't you argue that's a hate crime?
00:13:17.000 Right.
00:13:19.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:13:20.000 You know?
00:13:21.000 I don't know.
00:13:22.000 Because when you beat up a gay guy and you say that word, the F word, it's seen as homophobic because he's not that word.
00:13:29.000 He's a homosexual. 1.00
00:13:30.000 He's not a F word.
00:13:32.000 So it's derogatory.
00:13:34.000 So if you're getting beat up and someone says Nazi, you're obviously not a Nazi, then they're using a derogatory word and they're using ideology to beat you up to justify it.
00:13:44.000 So it sounds like the same thing to me.
00:13:47.000 Punch a Nazi should be a hate crime.
00:13:49.000 You're right.
00:13:50.000 Like that guy, there was that crazy rally in Philly, the We the People rally.
00:13:54.000 Do you guys know about this?
00:13:56.000 So it was rumored to be like this anti-Semitic rally.
00:13:58.000 It's just a bunch of boomer patriots.
00:13:59.000 This is November 17th.
00:14:01.000 And it's these old guys who love America, probably like the viewers of this show, CRTV, waving flags and dressing like Benjamin Franklin. 0.88
00:14:11.000 There's multiracial, and they're talking about the Constitution and saying we've got to stop all this division. 1.00
00:14:15.000 And then protesters show up to encourage division.
00:14:18.000 And they say it's a Nazi rally at the Jewish Museum.
00:14:21.000 It's like at the other end of the Philadelphia Square from the Jewish Museum.
00:14:25.000 It's at Independence Hall.
00:14:27.000 Anyway, they attack this Jewish guy who was just walking by, calling him a Nazi.
00:14:32.000 And they're facing a hate crime.
00:14:34.000 Nice.
00:14:35.000 Now, it's a weird kind of hate crime, right?
00:14:37.000 Because you're calling a Jewish guy a Nazi, but he's not a Nazi.
00:14:40.000 Does the fact that he's Jewish make it more of a hate crime?
00:14:43.000 What if you're just a normal Caucasian dude, a Christian? 0.66
00:14:46.000 Not that Jews aren't normal.
00:14:48.000 Don't get me wrong.
00:14:49.000 I think there's a good legal argument here.
00:14:52.000 If a Jewish guy can charge, and I'm all for that. 1.00
00:14:55.000 I don't like the idea of hate crimes because you're getting into someone's head, but I want to punish these people, so I'm going to be inconsistent with that.
00:15:02.000 But if you can, if it's a hate crime to beat up a Jewish guy and call him a Nazi, then it should be a hate crime to beat up a Christian guy and call him a Nazi.
00:15:10.000 Yeah, because they're not Nazi.
00:15:13.000 It's falsely, it's like, it's actually very strange because it's almost like calling somebody a racial epithet that they are not a member of that race, too.
00:15:22.000 Can you adjust your angle?
00:15:24.000 Yep.
00:15:25.000 You're too far.
00:15:26.000 We have such cool.
00:15:27.000 We spent a fortune on this equipment.
00:15:29.000 I want to show it off.
00:15:31.000 Yeah.
00:15:32.000 That's good.
00:15:33.000 Oh, that's what's up.
00:15:34.000 This is what's up.
00:15:35.000 Dash, we're shop.
00:15:36.000 I'd also, we have an announcement to make.
00:15:38.000 I'm sure you've heard.
00:15:39.000 It's all over the news.
00:15:41.000 CRTV has merged with the Blaze.
00:15:44.000 And I have to be honest, I might get fired for this, but I think it's a really bad idea.
00:15:51.000 And no one is talking about this, but every single employee now of CRTV and the Blaze have to throw out all their business cards.
00:16:01.000 Now, this is probably, I don't know, 5,000 people?
00:16:06.000 5,000 business cards scrapped.
00:16:09.000 And some of them probably just got business cards.
00:16:11.000 And when you get business cards, you have to get 1,500.
00:16:13.000 Those are all going in the garbage now.
00:16:16.000 And this is a time when we're worried about climate change, we're worried about waste, we're worried about pollution.
00:16:21.000 That's like a tree, basically.
00:16:23.000 So, yes, all the rich people get all their money while the trees cry, while the Indians cry, while the people, forest people, birds don't have a tree to live in anymore because we're throwing away business cards like it ain't no thing.
00:16:36.000 But does it...
00:16:40.000 Okay, here I am.
00:16:42.000 Does it make the old business cards a valuable, like a collector's item?
00:16:50.000 Wow, would you have to be a nerd?
00:16:53.000 There's probably literally one person on earth who goes, that'd be kind of cool to have a Gavin business card back when they were CR-TV yesterday.
00:17:03.000 That'd be kind of, okay, I'll sell you all my business cards for a penny.
00:17:07.000 This is a conversation that would have to happen 100 years into the future.
00:17:10.000 I remember when I quit the old show, the Gavin McInnes show, some guy called and he was like, I want to get the mic flag.
00:17:16.000 Maybe we could auction it off for charity?
00:17:18.000 Yeah, there'll be a massive demand for that mic flag.
00:17:22.000 We're going to raise eight bucks.
00:17:24.000 You give it to some kid in the cancer ward at the Children's Hospital?
00:17:26.000 Here, we raise this for you.
00:17:28.000 Thanks, dude.
00:17:29.000 What's that, a sub?
00:17:30.000 I can go to Subway now?
00:17:32.000 Well, I don't even have an appetite.
00:17:34.000 I'm going through chemo.
00:17:36.000 So anyway, Glenn Beck, Mark Levin, you may want to reconsider.
00:17:42.000 I think it's a waste of paper.
00:17:45.000 It's too expensive.
00:17:46.000 And I, for one, I care so much about the environment.
00:17:49.000 I'm going to be writing Blaze TV over the CRTV logo on my business cards with a large Sharpie.
00:17:55.000 What do you got there?
00:17:57.000 Why does everyone have such a better studio than me?
00:18:02.000 Why does Michelle Malkin get to travel the world doing documentaries? 1.00
00:18:06.000 I bet I could do that if I asked.
00:18:07.000 I never asked.
00:18:09.000 Blaze TV.
00:18:10.000 That's pretty cool.
00:18:11.000 It is.
00:18:13.000 And when I would say where I'd work at CRTV, people would go, what TV?
00:18:17.000 I go conservative review television.
00:18:19.000 You know, Michelle Malkin, you know, Mark Levin, the guy from Duck Dynasty.
00:18:24.000 Oh, there's a station.
00:18:26.000 Now you just say Blaze.
00:18:27.000 Boom.
00:18:27.000 Glenn Beck got it.
00:18:30.000 Yes, I was being satirical, and I am very excited about the move.
00:18:35.000 Glenn Beck has an insane studio in Dallas, like a real Universal Studios studio studio.
00:18:42.000 Yeah, I heard he wanted to get in movie production, right?
00:18:44.000 I want to get involved.
00:18:45.000 I want to do a funny movie.
00:18:47.000 Problem is, all my ideas for movies involve New York City and being outside and the Brownstones and the streets, yo. 0.66
00:18:54.000 True.
00:18:55.000 I'm a street dude.
00:18:57.000 Like, studio movies are very talky, like husbands and wives.
00:19:02.000 They're like plays.
00:19:05.000 You want to talk about bigotry?
00:19:07.000 You want to talk about prejudice?
00:19:08.000 I. Hate plays.
00:19:18.000 I hate them so much.
00:19:19.000 That's the funny thing about being accused of racism and stuff.
00:19:22.000 You go, race?
00:19:23.000 That's not high on the list.
00:19:25.000 That's number 3062.
00:19:27.000 I got plays, musicals, flip-flops.
00:19:31.000 Khakis. 1.00
00:19:32.000 People get divorced when their kids are one year old.
00:19:35.000 Pleats.
00:19:37.000 I'd say fume.
00:19:38.000 There's one exception.
00:19:40.000 The exception of the rule is Glen Gary Glenn Ross.
00:19:42.000 The play.
00:19:44.000 Wow.
00:19:45.000 It's the greatest play in the world.
00:19:47.000 Still sucks.
00:19:50.000 The way they talk and the way they're all bombastic on the stage and they talk like no one ever talks.
00:19:55.000 They're taking these huge strides.
00:19:56.000 Where have you been?
00:19:59.000 I'll tell you where I've been.
00:20:00.000 I've been with Jordy and I don't regret it.
00:20:03.000 Oh, Jordy.
00:20:05.000 Oh, did you see this right here?
00:20:10.000 It's right here on paper.
00:20:12.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:20:13.000 If you met anyone like that in real time, in real life, you just go, can you get out of here?
00:20:18.000 You're giving me a headache.
00:20:19.000 It's sort of like when you're at a bar and you're having a great time.
00:20:22.000 It's usually in the day, right?
00:20:24.000 Like three o'clock is a good time to drink.
00:20:27.000 Yeah, well, you shower and I'll shower.
00:20:30.000 And then you just see someone come in and they set up a stand and you go, the clock has been set.
00:20:36.000 Tick, tick, the bomb.
00:20:37.000 It's like seeing a bomb and you know the countdown is on.
00:20:40.000 And then there's another stand and then the guitar comes out and then we see the amp and then we hear it.
00:20:49.000 Bindo, bindo, bindo.
00:20:53.000 And then he's just like, a little diddy about Jack.
00:20:56.000 Like, I don't need to hear Jack and Diane other than the original.
00:20:59.000 And why don't you just put on the original real quiet?
00:21:02.000 Why do I have to hear live music?
00:21:05.000 I hate live music.
00:21:08.000 Hate it.
00:21:09.000 And I don't think I'm alone.
00:21:11.000 It's not like anyone's sitting around in a bar going, God, I wish there was a guy playing an electric acoustic guitar so loud I couldn't hear myself think and could no longer have the interesting conversation I'm having.
00:21:20.000 So I just turn around and sit and watch a guy play guitar, play other people's songs less good than the original song.
00:21:26.000 That's a great idea.
00:21:27.000 Dude, I used to like, every time I was- I was getting mad, by the way, and I was really angry.
00:21:31.000 I don't like live music at all anymore.
00:21:33.000 Oh, you mean like going to a concert?
00:21:35.000 like being around it?
00:21:36.000 I mean, if...
00:21:38.000 No, I don't like it.
00:21:39.000 I mean, the Sex Pistols, right when punk started at the 101 Club in 1979, and you'd think, I'm part of something.
00:21:45.000 And if you were a teenager, I could see that would be awesome.
00:21:48.000 But then you get older and everything's been done.
00:21:50.000 You're just standing there in a huge crowd.
00:21:51.000 You can't see the band very well.
00:21:53.000 Your lower back hurts.
00:21:55.000 Yeah.
00:21:55.000 And then you go get an $8 beer in a crappy little, the thinnest plastic cup ever.
00:22:01.000 It's almost like it's a bag, the plastic's so thin.
00:22:04.000 Right.
00:22:06.000 My sex pistol story?
00:22:07.000 No.
00:22:08.000 So I go to see, no, it was the Stranglers.
00:22:11.000 I go to see the Stranglers, wonderful punk band, who, by the way, whenever they got a bad review, they used to go to the guy's house and beat him up.
00:22:19.000 And if they saw him in the audience, they'd grab him and put him in a chair and tie him to the chair, and he'd be on the stage in the middle of the show.
00:22:28.000 Boy, we're going slow today.
00:22:29.000 I haven't even begun.
00:22:31.000 But so I go see the Stranglers at Glasgow University in Scotland, and I'm there with my wife, and there's a big fat, it's all old punks.
00:22:40.000 So it's guys wearing sex thistle shirts who were really there in the 70s, and they're all bald, or they have maybe the little bit of hair on top they've made blue or something.
00:22:48.000 Like 40, literally middle-aged punks, 40 years old.
00:22:53.000 And so, and 50 and 60, and they have these cups, that plastic I was just talking about, where if you touch it, it just sort of melts in your hand.
00:23:00.000 You almost have to hold it gingerly.
00:23:01.000 Like if you had a prosthetic hand that goes, you probably wouldn't be able to regulate the exact amount.
00:23:07.000 It feels like rubber.
00:23:08.000 It does.
00:23:09.000 It does feel like rubber.
00:23:10.000 Soft rubber, thin rubber.
00:23:11.000 So anyway, I go, well, you can really only order two beers.
00:23:15.000 And there's a big lineup.
00:23:16.000 So you want to order a bunch.
00:23:17.000 And so my wife and I are lining up to order two beers.
00:23:20.000 And we'll just pound one and then have their little weak plastic. 1.00
00:23:22.000 Anyway, this fat guy in front of me, he orders five pints.
00:23:26.000 And it's not like glass where you could hold them like that and they would maintain them.
00:23:30.000 They would just crumple.
00:23:31.000 So I'm thinking, unless there's a glitch, unless God is picking his nose, those are just going to crumple.
00:23:38.000 And he orders five.
00:23:40.000 While she's pouring the last three, he's downing the two.
00:23:45.000 So now he just has three.
00:23:46.000 No, he ordered six.
00:23:48.000 So he downs two, and then he takes three and one.
00:23:52.000 So that's three, four, five, six.
00:23:53.000 And he holds them like this, right?
00:23:55.000 Like a bird.
00:23:56.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:57.000 So now they're being squeezed together, and they're not getting scrunched.
00:24:00.000 Just the lids.
00:24:01.000 Just the edges, right?
00:24:03.000 And then he pounds this one, and then he keeps plucking them off the beer tree as he goes around.
00:24:07.000 And they were done in like five minutes.
00:24:10.000 Yeah.
00:24:10.000 And then I saw that he had the last one and he's already got a great buzz because he just had five beers in one second.
00:24:15.000 And he's a big, fat old punk dude.
00:24:18.000 And as he's walking, I've told this story a hundred times, so sorry if you're a fan and you've heard it too much, but he's just, he's got a strut to himself.
00:24:24.000 And he chugs the last one and he crumples it up.
00:24:26.000 But no, he goes, he's just about to have the last sip and he goes, sex pestos.
00:24:32.000 And then he finishes the last sip, crumples it, throw it, and he goes, we don't care.
00:24:40.000 That guy knows what he's doing.
00:24:42.000 I must have said, sex pests. 1.00
00:24:44.000 Every time I hear the sex puzzles now, I go, sex pestos.
00:24:48.000 We don't care.
00:24:50.000 Anyway, what else we got to do?
00:24:55.000 Oh, this was interesting.
00:24:56.000 I lived in China for a while, and I was a vegetarian at the time.
00:24:59.000 And the way you say that in Chinese is, no.
00:25:04.000 See, I screwed up.
00:25:05.000 That's I'm a teacher.
00:25:06.000 That's I'm a teacher.
00:25:08.000 I'm a vegetarian.
00:25:10.000 And it actually means I'm a vegetable.
00:25:13.000 But it's the same thing.
00:25:14.000 That's how you say it.
00:25:15.000 But I remember one time someone's going to get food and they go, what do you want?
00:25:18.000 And I was saying to them, oh, and they're going, okay.
00:25:24.000 And I thought I was repeating, I'm a vegetarian, but I was just telling them, I'm a teacher, because I was an English teacher there.
00:25:30.000 But anyway, the way you find good food, Chinese food is obviously disgusting. 1.00
00:25:34.000 It's better in Taiwan because it's a capitalist country.
00:25:37.000 It's still part of China, but in mainland China, you order turtle soup, which you should never do.
00:25:43.000 It's just turtle, boiled to death.
00:25:45.000 That's it.
00:25:45.000 Just a turtle there, dead, boiled alive.
00:25:49.000 And there's snails and pig eyes.
00:25:51.000 And it's the most, it's like fear factor.
00:25:53.000 Every restaurant is fear factor.
00:25:55.000 But as a vegetarian in Taiwan, you just look for swastikas.
00:25:58.000 And that means Buddhists. 0.63
00:26:00.000 And you go in there and you have Xiao Jing chao fan and all this delicious Chinese food.
00:26:04.000 And you know it's from plants, so there's going to be no snail eyes or anything disgusting.
00:26:09.000 So I, when I was over there, I had this Pavlovian response.
00:26:12.000 Now, when I see a swastika, I get hungry.
00:26:16.000 Whenever there's a hate crime hoax, I just start drooling.
00:26:20.000 But there was this Chinese guy, Buddhist.
00:26:22.000 Sorry, my nose is so itchy.
00:26:23.000 I'm not doing Coke, I promise.
00:26:25.000 My mustache hairs curl up and they go into my nose and tickle it.
00:26:30.000 There's this Chinese guy wearing a Buddhist symbol on his shirt.
00:26:33.000 And everyone just assumes he's a Nazi and start chasing him.
00:26:37.000 And the police have to escort him away.
00:26:38.000 He doesn't even know what his shirt means to them.
00:26:41.000 You got volume there?
00:26:44.000 God, they're so smug.
00:26:46.000 I can't hear anything.
00:26:49.000 Can you hear anything?
00:26:53.000 You see, it's not Nazis.
00:26:56.000 It's got Buddha on it.
00:26:59.000 Yeah, it's like brushstroke looking.
00:27:01.000 It's not like the utilitarian square one.
00:27:05.000 It just means, I'm a Buddhist, I'm a vegetarian.
00:27:08.000 What if this was a liberal guy and they dared him to do this?
00:27:10.000 Like, that's the thing that I kind of want to do is hold them to it where, okay, there's no pressure wearing a MAGA hat, so we're going to send you over here with a MAGA hat.
00:27:19.000 See, this is a lefty.
00:27:21.000 This is the problem, too, with all this thought policing.
00:27:25.000 They end up getting innocent people.
00:27:26.000 In fact, it seems like more often than not, like you think of Andy, what's his name?
00:27:31.000 NGO?
00:27:32.000 That guy in Seattle?
00:27:33.000 He's always getting attacked.
00:27:38.000 At the We the People thing, they were attacking a Jewish guy.
00:27:42.000 And at We the People, they attacked an Asian guy and an Indian guy.
00:27:46.000 It seems like it's always white people attacking visible minorities for being Nazis.
00:27:51.000 Look at this guy.
00:27:52.000 He's not trying to hide, dude.
00:27:53.000 He's just a Buddhist guy.
00:27:56.000 Just a Buddhist trying to bood. 1.00
00:27:57.000 Buddhist's going to bood. 1.00
00:28:00.000 So he, look at him.
00:28:02.000 He's pretty scared.
00:28:03.000 He's got a lot of tattoos for a normal Chinese guy. 0.99
00:28:06.000 Well, it's like a Zen thing.
00:28:08.000 It brings you closer to God or something.
00:28:10.000 Really?
00:28:10.000 I don't know.
00:28:11.000 You just made that up.
00:28:12.000 Yes.
00:28:13.000 Welcome to Ryan Ketsu Rivera's new show, Just Making Up Stuff.
00:28:26.000 He has to be shoved onto a bus and the police have to protect him.
00:28:32.000 You don't see any radical Islamists go through any of this.
00:28:34.000 Like when I was at Tommy Robinson's thing, there was a guy I recognized from the news.
00:28:39.000 I talked about this on CR-TV.
00:28:41.000 This is on the Tommy Robinson episode.
00:28:44.000 I recognized him from the paper.
00:28:45.000 He's a radical extremist who was bros with the guys who did the London Bridge attack.
00:28:52.000 And he was just there walking around.
00:28:53.000 We were saying to the police, keep an eye on him.
00:28:55.000 They were worried about it, Mike.
00:28:56.000 We got him.
00:28:56.000 We got him.
00:28:57.000 And then he was doing interviews later and having debates.
00:28:59.000 Ezra Levant debated him on the street.
00:29:03.000 No.
00:29:03.000 Wow.
00:29:04.000 But a Buddhist wears a symbol.
00:29:07.000 Okay.
00:29:09.000 Also in the news, and I'm going to talk to her on Friday, Laura Loomer was the number one topic in America.
00:29:16.000 The number two topic.
00:29:18.000 This is trending on Twitter because it was a Twitter thing.
00:29:20.000 The number two topic in the world.
00:29:23.000 Number two trending worldwide.
00:29:26.000 And what she did was she handcuffed herself to Twitter head offices.
00:29:32.000 Now there's our buddy.
00:29:33.000 I know this guy.
00:29:33.000 I won't say his name.
00:29:34.000 And he's putting up a giant poster that has a tweet.
00:29:38.000 Now, look, security comes out.
00:29:40.000 Hey, hey, hey.
00:29:40.000 And they try to...
00:29:46.000 And he falls down.
00:29:47.000 But the poster's already up.
00:29:49.000 And he's in a lot of pain.
00:29:50.000 Now, before we get into the story, I want to show you what just happened there.
00:29:53.000 He is...
00:29:56.000 His...
00:30:00.000 So the guy opens a door.
00:30:02.000 He tries to hold the door.
00:30:03.000 And then the guy pulls the door in.
00:30:04.000 This is that sharp, pristine, perfect, right-angled steel.
00:30:10.000 Oof.
00:30:10.000 When he slammed the door, he cut the top of the dude's finger off.
00:30:16.000 He may have to lose it.
00:30:17.000 No.
00:30:18.000 Apparently he severed.
00:30:19.000 What happened?
00:30:20.000 Well, I sent you pictures.
00:30:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:30:22.000 This is news to me, though.
00:30:23.000 I mean, I'm following along.
00:30:24.000 Do you know who that dude is?
00:30:25.000 No.
00:30:25.000 It's one of Sabo's guys.
00:30:26.000 Don't say his name.
00:30:27.000 Okay.
00:30:28.000 Oh, okay.
00:30:29.000 Yeah.
00:30:30.000 And so I think it was NYU hospital he went to.
00:30:35.000 They did an excellent job.
00:30:36.000 They're very talented, these surgeons these days, and they sewed it back on, but there's no guarantees.
00:30:41.000 Major nerves, major nerves have been severed.
00:30:47.000 And, you know, there's so many nerve endings in your hand.
00:30:49.000 Whenever you have a major cut like that, it's not like your elbow got cut.
00:30:53.000 The pain is excruciating.
00:30:56.000 One time I was in a band, and we had a giant rope, and I swung down from the rope like Tarzan, and then I was too high up.
00:31:03.000 And rather than go all the way down like that, I just went and I ripped all the skin off my hands with the heat friction.
00:31:10.000 It was so painful for weeks.
00:31:14.000 Oh, Lord in heaven above.
00:31:17.000 That kills.
00:31:18.000 I hate that.
00:31:19.000 Finger pain.
00:31:19.000 Finger pain is finger pain's the worst.
00:31:21.000 And wrist pain and neck pain.
00:31:23.000 Presume penis pain is actually the worst.
00:31:25.000 Yes.
00:31:25.000 I would imagine, I think the most painful thing a man can experience is being circumcised at this age.
00:31:30.000 While his finger's being put in a mousetrap.
00:31:33.000 That would be the worst.
00:31:34.000 Put in a mousetrap.
00:31:35.000 That's maybe 4% more painful than the million percent of circumcision.
00:31:39.000 Yeah, I'd actually rather have the finger on the mousetrap while being circumcised.
00:31:42.000 Yeah.
00:31:43.000 So that way it's like biting in the leather or something.
00:31:46.000 I would actually do that when I would get tattooed.
00:31:47.000 I would squeeze my nails into my thigh just to sort of distribute the discomfort.
00:31:54.000 But yeah, those pictures are horrible.
00:31:57.000 And you saw it happen there.
00:31:59.000 So just, we've already talked about this, but what got her banned was she said, isn't it ironic how the Twitter moment used to celebrate women, LGBTQ, and minorities is a picture of Ilhan Omar.
00:32:12.000 Ilhan is pro-Sharia.
00:32:13.000 Alan is pro-FGB.
00:32:15.000 That's female genital, I don't know what the B is, mutilation. 1.00
00:32:19.000 Under Sharia, homosexuals are oppressed and killed.
00:32:22.000 Women are abused and forced to wear the hijab.
00:32:24.000 Ilhan is anti-Jewish.
00:32:27.000 That's what that says about her. 1.00
00:32:29.000 Now, Laura can be a little clunky at times, and the left likes making fun of her because she's a little imperfect. 1.00
00:32:39.000 Oh, and by the way, everyone was freaked out about her having the star of David there.
00:32:43.000 But you know what's funny?
00:32:45.000 I was looking at old footage of us at a party, and I was wearing the Donald Trump star because they were handing it out, and I just thought, oh, let's put it here.
00:32:52.000 And I'm looking back at the footage, I'm like, that looks like I'm wearing a Jewish star.
00:32:56.000 I know.
00:32:57.000 And the thing is, like, the points are all wrong.
00:32:59.000 Like, it looks like an actual regular star, but you try to look like through their eyes.
00:33:05.000 Right.
00:33:05.000 And gaps.
00:33:06.000 Everything in the Holocaust. 0.70
00:33:07.000 Anybody with their hand over their elbow is Seagai.
00:33:11.000 I'm like, remember, who was it, Dick Cheney?
00:33:15.000 No, McCain, John McCain, after the POW camp.
00:33:18.000 He can't lift his arms higher than this because they broke his bones so much.
00:33:22.000 I don't move my arms higher than that.
00:33:24.000 Like if there was something from the shelf that was, I'm not going to do it, but it was like right up there, I would just sort of get on a ladder.
00:33:29.000 I have T-Rex arms now.
00:33:30.000 I'm so scared of being frozen with my arm up too high.
00:33:33.000 So I'm sort of like, let me get that jar.
00:33:36.000 I'm just going to do what Steve Buscemi was in, what was that movie?
00:33:40.000 Grown-ups, where he's like, hey, he's got his arms on the cast.
00:33:44.000 I'm like that little pump video.
00:33:45.000 I just walk around.
00:33:48.000 Why are you more current than I am?
00:33:50.000 Like, I don't reference stuff that happened less than five years ago.
00:33:55.000 That was great.
00:33:56.000 So what are we at here?
00:33:58.000 So she handcuffs herself that thing, and the left is like, what a loser she is. 1.00
00:34:02.000 She's playing this thing on her bullhorn, the little song on it.
00:34:06.000 And then a lot of people got mad at her for the Star of David.
00:34:09.000 You know what's funny about that fake indignation and all these people saying, my grandparents died in the Holocaust and you're trivializing that pain.
00:34:16.000 The left does that all the time.
00:34:18.000 In fact, they just went to the Manhattan Republican Club and they were all wearing the Star of David.
00:34:24.000 After the synagogue shooting, everyone was wearing that. 0.86
00:34:27.000 And Billy Joel wore it on stage.
00:34:31.000 See if you can dig that up.
00:34:33.000 Yeah, that was fast.
00:34:35.000 Nice work.
00:34:36.000 He wore it on stage at a concert.
00:34:39.000 No one said it was trivializing then.
00:34:42.000 And Billy Joel's point, by the way, was that Trump is Hitler, and we're all going to be executed.
00:34:48.000 Oh, man.
00:34:49.000 He's one of those two?
00:34:50.000 Yep.
00:34:50.000 Oh, man.
00:34:52.000 Yeah, Trump's Hitler.
00:34:53.000 It's a bummer.
00:34:54.000 I like the Stranger album.
00:34:56.000 But here's the thing.
00:34:57.000 So you go, all right, Laura, I'm not sure that was such a smashing success, but this is me checking stupid left-wing Twitter where you could save a bunch of kittens from a burning building and they'd go, he's a pedophile.
00:35:08.000 Like they always managed to twist it somehow.
00:35:10.000 So I was thinking, I wonder if that was successful.
00:35:12.000 But here's what she did after. 0.79
00:35:14.000 She sat down and did a very sober periscope where she explained free speech.
00:35:20.000 She explained the double standard.
00:35:22.000 She explained that Hamas is still on there and conservatives are all getting kicked off.
00:35:26.000 We got Owen Benjamin, Julian Assange, Roger Stone, me, the G-Dog.
00:35:32.000 We have, of course, Laura herself, Milo Yiannopoulos.
00:35:35.000 Did I say Owen Benjamin?
00:35:36.000 Yep.
00:35:37.000 There's like 10 major conservative voices.
00:35:40.000 And radical Muslims, go nuts, guys. 1.00
00:35:43.000 Go bananas.
00:35:44.000 Twitter wants you.
00:35:45.000 And this is all because the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
00:35:48.000 So the way the left works is if you hate Trump, you're in.
00:35:52.000 Oh, we're running out of time here.
00:35:55.000 So yeah, the periscope.
00:35:56.000 So what she did is, do you have anything with the periscope?
00:36:01.000 She went through, she got everyone's attention, and then when they were there, and they go, I didn't like your handcuff.
00:36:06.000 Oh, that was stupid.
00:36:07.000 Oh, you look silly.
00:36:08.000 And she goes, yeah, yeah, whatever.
00:36:09.000 Now hear me out.
00:36:10.000 And then she does a periscope that justifies it all and explains her point.
00:36:13.000 It was kind of brilliant.
00:36:14.000 It'd be like lighting off a bunch of fireworks, and then everyone comes to see what's out, and you go, hello, everyone.
00:36:19.000 Here's my story.
00:36:24.000 Oh, wait.
00:36:25.000 What's going on?
00:36:26.000 No, that's not good.
00:36:27.000 What's going on?
00:36:29.000 The Buddhist guy.
00:36:30.000 Oh, someone killed him?
00:36:32.000 No.
00:36:33.000 He's an actual Nazi. 0.85
00:36:34.000 This is the manifesto of Tango Barita.
00:36:39.000 Shut up. 0.95
00:36:40.000 Shut up. 0.95
00:36:42.000 Go away.
00:36:43.000 You're doing a listen.
00:36:43.000 Go away.
00:36:44.000 I was talking to him.
00:36:45.000 You're trying to speak to the Muslims and you don't listen. 1.00
00:36:45.000 You shut your mouth. 1.00
00:36:48.000 I think he just said Mein Kampf is manifesto The f***ing manifesto Unzer Kampf He said What?
00:36:58.000 What's that?
00:36:59.000 Something German than come. 0.97
00:37:01.000 Mein Kampf's already German.
00:37:03.000 Right.
00:37:04.000 And in this manifesto, I'm gonna f*** everything!
00:37:06.000 When I say everything, I'm gonna f*** Britain first!
00:37:10.000 I'm going to fight.
00:37:11.000 I'm going to fing FIAFIA.
00:37:13.000 I'm going to fing Chinese tourists. 1.00
00:37:14.000 I'm going to fing Jew. 1.00
00:37:16.000 I'm going to f I'm going to f social justice warriors.
00:37:19.000 I'm going to f that more than that.
00:37:21.000 I'm going to fing feminist accents. 1.00
00:37:22.000 I'm going to f this India. 1.00
00:37:24.000 I'm going to fing refugees. 1.00
00:37:27.000 I'm going to fing Indigo.
00:37:28.000 I'm going to fing immigration. 1.00
00:37:30.000 I'm going to fing up Malaysia. 1.00
00:37:32.000 I'm going to fing win of England.
00:37:35.000 I'm going to finger.
00:37:36.000 So whoops.
00:37:37.000 Okay.
00:37:40.000 Looks like we may have got that guy a little wrong.
00:37:47.000 But yeah, the Buddhist food is.
00:37:49.000 But yeah, yeah.
00:37:51.000 Vegetarian food is really good in France.
00:37:57.000 Okay, that kind of changes the show a little bit.
00:38:03.000 I think we're out of time.
00:38:04.000 Let's try to end on a...
00:38:07.000 That's rare, by the way.
00:38:08.000 That's why it's so shocking because...
00:38:12.000 No.
00:38:13.000 We apologize.
00:38:14.000 This is like when What's Her Name said Hillary's like Herpes? 1.00
00:38:18.000 That's one of my favorite things.
00:38:20.000 I'm having a Rick Leventhal moment.
00:38:22.000 Okay.
00:38:23.000 Well, that's news.
00:38:24.000 Alrighty.
00:38:24.000 So Blaze TV does not advocate that type of language, and we apologize for thinking that guy was not crazy.
00:38:32.000 Apparently, he is a Nazi.
00:38:35.000 Real deal, anti-Semitic, racist, Nazi, crazy person.
00:38:41.000 Maybe he should be chased onto buses.
00:38:43.000 I don't know.
00:38:43.000 No, he shouldn't be.
00:38:44.000 He should have the right to say crazy stuff.
00:38:47.000 It's very warm in here.
00:38:49.000 We have got to get better AC.
00:38:52.000 Put that on the list, please, guys.
00:38:54.000 We besmirch his name with the same publicity and vitriol in which we tried to excuse it.
00:39:01.000 Yeah.
00:39:02.000 Yes, that is it.
00:39:03.000 All right.
00:39:05.000 Just kidding, we knew that all along.
00:39:07.000 We just, you just got pranked impractical jokers.
00:39:16.000 Let's end with something equally funny.
00:39:18.000 I know a lot of you guys aren't used to memes, so I'm gonna give you some background.
00:39:21.000 Are you familiar with Daddy Longneck?
00:39:24.000 There he is.
00:39:25.000 When I'm coming over there, and when I'm coming to see you, you gotta wash your fing tune-up boxes.
00:39:33.000 He's very violent for someone who weighs.
00:39:37.000 If I was that skinny, I'd be much friendlier.
00:39:40.000 I'd say, hey, anyone want any pop?
00:39:43.000 He wants soda pop.
00:39:44.000 Yeah, when I step off my spaceship to address the human race, I would be very nice.
00:39:49.000 I wouldn't point at the militias right there.
00:39:52.000 Okay.
00:39:53.000 He sprayed us with X. Hi, you got it in my virtual eyes.
00:39:58.000 All right, so that's one meme.
00:40:00.000 And this guy has tons of videos.
00:40:01.000 He's very popular.
00:40:02.000 I believe he does some rap, always with his shirt off.
00:40:05.000 He does over one push-up a year.
00:40:07.000 And then we have another guy.
00:40:09.000 This man has got a, I believe he has a long criminal record.
00:40:12.000 He's one of the most famous mug shots in America right now, and he's known as Wide Neck.
00:40:16.000 Yes.
00:40:16.000 And this gentleman, a criminal record only as wide as his neck.
00:40:27.000 And because the internet is awesome, and because planes exist, you can now just want things to happen, and they will happen.
00:40:35.000 So if you're sitting at home and you're bored, and you're thinking, that guy, that wide neck sure has a wide neck.
00:40:40.000 And then you're thinking of that other guy, long neck, and you're like, that long neck sure has a long neck.
00:40:44.000 I wish long neck and wide neck could meet.
00:40:46.000 Yes, they can.
00:40:48.000 And they did.
00:40:49.000 And that fucking wide neck. 1.00
00:40:50.000 Oh, you don't want to smoke.
00:40:54.000 Oh, no.
00:40:59.000 It's like, if you can think it, it will happen.
00:41:01.000 This is amazing.
00:41:03.000 What's up?
00:41:03.000 I can't hear anything, by the way.
00:41:05.000 Does it want anything?
00:41:08.000 Long neck and wide neck are on a swing.
00:41:10.000 And they're going down a slide.
00:41:12.000 You know, as guys do.
00:41:13.000 This is great.
00:41:19.000 All my friends are memes.
00:41:20.000 That's funny.
00:41:21.000 All my memes are friends.
00:41:23.000 Yeah, both.
00:41:23.000 All my friends are memes, and all my memes are friends.
00:41:26.000 He's wearing a shirt with fat neck on it.
00:41:28.000 Oh, really?