Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 05, 2018


Get Off My Lawn #111 | Shame


Episode Stats

Length

40 minutes

Words per Minute

145.54088

Word Count

5,875

Sentence Count

567

Misogynist Sentences

34

Hate Speech Sentences

27


Summary

Jay-Z came out as gay on David Letterman's show, Channing Tatum breaks up with his wife, and a woman named Nazim Agdam shoots her ex-boyfriend and then kills her own family members.


Transcript

00:00:17.000 Smile, you record it from New York 20 years ago.
00:00:27.000 Drinking Chris all in.
00:00:29.000 Kept a tray on me like Chris Paul in.
00:00:32.000 Drinking they spade like it's Cody now.
00:00:34.000 Trying to put a million on the whole team now.
00:00:36.000 Push that beautiful.
00:00:48.000 That was Jay-Z from his album 444, I believe.
00:00:54.000 And that was a song about his mama.
00:00:56.000 And it was called Smile.
00:00:58.000 Beautiful, beautiful song about his mother, where she came out as a lesbian.
00:01:04.000 Uh-oh, there's quite a glare on that screen.
00:01:06.000 Let me get rid of that.
00:01:08.000 There we are.
00:01:09.000 She came out as a lesbian.
00:01:10.000 Jay-Z was just on David Letterman's show, I forget what it's called.
00:01:16.000 So you think you're funny, something like that.
00:01:18.000 And he got on there, and he said that when his mother came out to him as gay, he started to cry.
00:01:25.000 Now, this guy sold crack to his mother when she was a crackhead.
00:01:31.000 He also shot his own brother.
00:01:34.000 But here in America, we practice the bigotry of low expectations.
00:01:38.000 So if a black guy does anything, then we flail.
00:01:44.000 We fawn over him.
00:01:46.000 We trip over ourselves to pat him on the back.
00:01:50.000 And we watch movies, sorry, videos like this.
00:01:53.000 What's this?
00:01:55.000 And we just watch the video and we go, so talented.
00:02:00.000 What a gift.
00:02:02.000 There's his mom.
00:02:04.000 Like, it's this heartfelt video about how cute and wonderful his mom is.
00:02:09.000 You sold her crack, dude.
00:02:11.000 If your mother is a crackhead and you're dealing crack, give her free crack.
00:02:17.000 What is it, five bucks?
00:02:19.000 Who charges their mother five bucks?
00:02:23.000 That's just downright rude.
00:02:26.000 Front page of the post, shame.
00:02:28.000 The NYPD has been texting men who answer fake ads for prostitutes.
00:02:35.000 I got to admit, when I see these ads and girls in your area that pop up on your screen, I'm an old, ugly man.
00:02:43.000 You got to admit, guys, for a millisecond, you go, oh, someone likes me.
00:02:48.000 A pretty girl wants to be my friend on Facebook.
00:02:51.000 You have to admit, just for a nanosecond, you're impressed.
00:02:55.000 And I think part of us also goes, you know what?
00:02:59.000 I knew I had something.
00:03:00.000 I knew I was worth it.
00:03:02.000 I knew pretty girls should love me.
00:03:05.000 Then your rational mind kicks in and goes, this is a spam, this is fake, don't click it.
00:03:10.000 But of course, if you have a low IQ, you click it, and the NYPD punishes you.
00:03:14.000 Also, Channing Tatum, who's a, what, a 9.5, is breaking up with his wife, Jenna.
00:03:23.000 That's pretty horrible, isn't it?
00:03:25.000 Both breathtakingly gorgeous.
00:03:27.000 I'll tell you who isn't gorgeous.
00:03:29.000 The YouTube shooter.
00:03:32.000 I don't know why it's not on the front page of the post.
00:03:34.000 Maybe it was a late night when they found out about it, but a woman named Nazim Agdam.
00:03:43.000 They're not sending their best, are they?
00:03:44.000 And wasn't Iran on Trump's travel ban?
00:03:47.000 Wasn't he saying he doesn't want Iranians coming here?
00:03:50.000 Well, they came here and they shot up YouTube.
00:03:53.000 She apparently shot her ex-boyfriend's body and then shot other people in the room and then blew her own head off.
00:04:04.000 I don't know if she's Muslim.
00:04:05.000 I've heard people say she's Jewish, which is weird in Iran.
00:04:09.000 Maybe that's why she had to flee.
00:04:10.000 I don't know what her religion is.
00:04:12.000 She seems pretty darn Muslim to me.
00:04:15.000 But she was primarily insane.
00:04:19.000 I'm not one to shy away from terrorist as an allegation, but this is just looking like a crazy person, another Dylan Roof.
00:04:27.000 And when you check out her feed, oh my God, is she nuts?
00:04:31.000 She was angry that YouTube was censoring her videos and it was hurting likes.
00:04:36.000 Maybe your videos were not popular because they suck.
00:04:39.000 Look at this video.
00:04:41.000 Look at this.
00:04:42.000 Go ahead, Dave.
00:04:50.000 I mean, it is literally the worst.
00:04:53.000 How could that be worse?
00:04:56.000 If she was a huge fat pig, it would at least be funny.
00:05:01.000 She's a normal-looking, moderately ugly person doing terrible, terrible music.
00:05:07.000 What's this other one?
00:05:09.000 So she's used some Japanese app.
00:05:12.000 That does look interesting, but that's because Japanese people work their asses off.
00:05:18.000 Not an Iranian lunatic vegan, animal rights PETA activist.
00:05:23.000 What do we got there?
00:05:25.000 Let's see them.
00:05:26.000 My whole feed is full of videos of her, and they're all a nightmare.
00:05:31.000 *Mario plays*
00:05:37.000 Women, stick to making babies, please.
00:05:40.000 This comes up a lot, by the way, a turkey.
00:05:43.000 She's really into Turkey rights.
00:05:44.000 Oh, God.
00:05:50.000 Alright, do the America's Got Talent one.
00:05:57.000 Wait, what's going on?
00:05:58.000 Play the America's God Talent one.
00:06:02.000 My name is Nassime Saps.
00:06:05.000 You're a beautiful young lady, you know that?
00:06:07.000 Okay, okay.
00:06:08.000 I am from Iran.
00:06:10.000 Really?
00:06:11.000 I'm Turch too.
00:06:14.000 I'm dying to see or hear the act.
00:06:16.000 Ninja in action.
00:06:18.000 I could tell.
00:06:19.000 Wah!
00:06:25.000 So she didn't work at YouTube, right?
00:06:30.000 I hope not.
00:06:33.000 Anyway, that woman's dead now.
00:06:36.000 She shot a bunch of people, and people just can't wait to politicize it.
00:06:42.000 Michael Ian Black, the comedian, got on Twitter to say that he would like to blame the NRA.
00:06:48.000 He called them a terrorist organization and said they are responsible for this shooting.
00:06:54.000 What did she use, a handgun?
00:06:55.000 How is the NRA responsible?
00:06:57.000 I honestly, like, there's certain subjects where I get mad, like censorship and messing with the First Amendment.
00:07:04.000 But with this NRA stuff, I honestly feel nothing.
00:07:07.000 I just, it's honestly like I'm talking to a kid.
00:07:10.000 I don't know what you want.
00:07:11.000 What do you want?
00:07:12.000 You want no guns in America?
00:07:15.000 Well, A, that's not possible.
00:07:18.000 And B, even if I was magic and could go phoof and make them all vanish, how long before illegal guns reappear?
00:07:26.000 Now, we've got a guy on the show today, my buddy, actually, Clark Camp.
00:07:31.000 I got in a fist fight with him the first time I met him.
00:07:35.000 He pulled a knife on a friend of mine, and he was just kidding, but we didn't know he was kidding.
00:07:41.000 So we dragged him outside, threw him on the ground, and then I noticed he had some electronics on his belly as I threw him to the ground, and I was convinced he was wearing a wire.
00:07:51.000 I had had quite a bit to drink that night.
00:07:53.000 So I ripped it off, and he goes, it's an insulin pump.
00:07:58.000 So with my foot on his neck, I googled the name on the back of the thing, and yes, it was an insulin pump.
00:08:05.000 We've since become great friends.
00:08:08.000 You know, people you fight end up being your best buddies.
00:08:12.000 And I'm probably going to have beers with him in a few minutes.
00:08:16.000 But he's going to jail because he was caught with a handgun in his car.
00:08:21.000 And I wanted to have him on the show, not just because it's interesting to talk to someone who's on their way to Rape Central, but everyone, I don't think people understand how brutal New York City is.
00:08:33.000 Any kind of gun, if you're caught with a 22 bright orange BB gun in your car, and by the way, I've been shot with a BB gun at point-blank range.
00:08:44.000 The pistol was touching my face.
00:08:46.000 It's a minor inconvenience.
00:08:48.000 You have to go to the hospital where they have special long tweezers to have the BB pulled out of your face.
00:08:54.000 Doesn't hurt that much.
00:08:56.000 Not that bad.
00:08:56.000 I've been shot with a BB gun.
00:08:58.000 We used to shoot each other in Canada.
00:08:59.000 You just shoot each other BB guns all the time, and it hurts like hell.
00:09:03.000 You do not die.
00:09:05.000 It is not dangerous.
00:09:06.000 It's like a Charlie horse.
00:09:07.000 Anyway, five years in prison if you're caught with that.
00:09:10.000 So we have a murder a day here in New York City, but everyone is obsessed with the NRA and more gun laws.
00:09:18.000 And I honestly don't get it.
00:09:20.000 I'm not mad.
00:09:21.000 Totally impassionate.
00:09:23.000 Life hacks, that makes me really mad.
00:09:26.000 But the NRA thing, I just go, I don't know what you're talking about.
00:09:30.000 Do you think the NRA makes guns?
00:09:32.000 What do you mean?
00:09:33.000 What's this annoying iTunes update I have?
00:09:36.000 Does anyone update their iTunes anymore?
00:09:39.000 Does anyone care?
00:09:40.000 I don't think they do.
00:09:43.000 Let me just delete that.
00:09:45.000 Sorry.
00:09:47.000 What else have we got?
00:09:48.000 Oh, I saw the greatest thing in the world last night.
00:09:54.000 Probably the best thing ever.
00:09:58.000 I was watching Real Housewives, and in my defense, my wife, the way you get laid when you're married, is you watch her show with her, and you pretend you like it, right?
00:10:12.000 And then, you know, she goes, yeah, maybe I do like this guy after all.
00:10:15.000 Next thing you know, you're in between the sheets.
00:10:19.000 Bottle of wine also helps.
00:10:21.000 So I do that because I want to fornicate.
00:10:24.000 And you end up getting Stockholm syndrome where you actually like the show.
00:10:29.000 Now, my wife is away right now visiting her mother with the kids, and I miss her.
00:10:34.000 So I was wearing her slippers last night, like something out of Silence of the Lambs, and watching Real Housewives.
00:10:45.000 And I saw maybe the greatest thing I've ever seen.
00:10:48.000 It is so amazing.
00:10:50.000 There's a chick in Real Housewives.
00:10:52.000 She's British.
00:10:53.000 I kind of like her.
00:10:54.000 Her name is Lisa Vanderpump.
00:10:57.000 Thank you, David.
00:10:57.000 Lisa Vanderpump.
00:10:59.000 And she has a restaurant in Beverly Hills that is actually called Sexy Unique Restaurant.
00:11:08.000 Do you have Down syndrome?
00:11:10.000 Sexy Unique Restaurant is the name of your restaurant?
00:11:13.000 Anyway, like all liberals, they push multiculturalism, like all limousine liberals.
00:11:20.000 They push multiculturalism and they don't know anything about the rest of the world.
00:11:24.000 The rest of the world sucks.
00:11:26.000 So this woman discovers that they torture dogs in China and it's the Yulan Dog Meat Festival.
00:11:35.000 So she thinks it's an isolated incident and wants to abolish it because she loves her doggies because there's no more kids in the house and women are naturally maternal.
00:11:46.000 So when there's no kiddies to mother, they mother their pets.
00:11:50.000 And so she did a documentary about, excuse me, sorry, that's disgusting.
00:11:57.000 She did a documentary about the Yulin Dog Festival.
00:12:03.000 Now, here's what I love about this whole concept.
00:12:07.000 Millions of dogs, millions of dogs are eaten all over Asia, everywhere.
00:12:16.000 Dogs are eaten in America.
00:12:19.000 Koreans eat dogs.
00:12:22.000 Koreans in America will eat your dog.
00:12:26.000 Well, not your dog, but they'll eat a dog.
00:12:30.000 It's a thing.
00:12:31.000 And to isolate this one time is so shockingly naive.
00:12:38.000 It just sums up.
00:12:39.000 Remember Michelle Obama with that sign that said, bring our girls home about Boko Haram?
00:12:46.000 They had just murdered like 200 boys the week before.
00:12:49.000 You can't just dip your toes into Africa and go, uh, this is a crime.
00:12:55.000 I want this solved.
00:12:56.000 Africa's nothing but carnage.
00:12:59.000 The world is nothing but dog-eating mania.
00:13:02.000 When I lived in Taiwan, I remember there was like five dogs on my roof in cages, covered in blood and sweat.
00:13:10.000 I actually used my own house key and broke into their lock.
00:13:13.000 I guess they have universal locks there because they don't have crime.
00:13:16.000 And I freed the dogs.
00:13:18.000 It's actually a bizarre story.
00:13:22.000 I opened up the cages and I said, go, go.
00:13:26.000 I got them out.
00:13:27.000 They went down to the street and one of them went down to the street, sorry.
00:13:32.000 So down like five flights of stairs out.
00:13:35.000 And the other one just stayed in the cage.
00:13:37.000 He didn't know what freedom was.
00:13:39.000 He didn't understand.
00:13:41.000 So he didn't want to leave.
00:13:42.000 He was trained to stay in the cage.
00:13:44.000 Pretty sad, right?
00:13:46.000 And the other dog kept barking and barking and barking at the first dog saying, come on, let's go.
00:13:54.000 And he didn't do it.
00:13:55.000 And then eventually the dog came back up the stairs and he's standing barking at the other dog who just has his or her head down.
00:14:04.000 Who cares?
00:14:05.000 And eventually I just said, sorry, dog.
00:14:09.000 And I pushed the freed dog back in his cage because it wasn't working.
00:14:14.000 I was going to get in trouble, right?
00:14:15.000 Sorry, I tried to free you.
00:14:16.000 And then I relocked them both in their cage.
00:14:20.000 Now that was only two dogs.
00:14:22.000 And that was a frivolous gesture that was going to make me feel good for a minute.
00:14:26.000 And they would probably get recaptured and eaten anyway.
00:14:29.000 It's called the numbers, dummies.
00:14:30.000 You know, a lot of this animal rights stuff is just oblivious when it comes to the mathematics of what they're doing.
00:14:37.000 It is totally fruitless.
00:14:39.000 Hey, Howard Stern's wife, the cat you're rescuing, the 32 cats you have in your house, the 14 mangy dogs, you're not helping.
00:14:49.000 It's an irrelevant gesture.
00:14:52.000 Anyway, sorry, very long intro to show this video.
00:14:55.000 Check out how naive and embarrassing limousine liberals are.
00:15:01.000 I'm called The Road to UN.
00:15:03.000 We are going to be in tears at the end, so just prepare yourselves.
00:15:07.000 We're very, very proud of you.
00:15:09.000 Please find your seats and enjoy the show.
00:15:12.000 Thank you.
00:15:13.000 Isn't this like a parody?
00:15:14.000 Look, that's this dog, Gigi.
00:15:18.000 Just pause it for a second here.
00:15:20.000 They brought their dog to the premiere wearing jewelry and a sweater.
00:15:27.000 You know, earlier in this episode, Lisa Vanderpump lost two of her pets.
00:15:32.000 She lost a dog named Pink Dog, who was a pink dog, very, what's the word, eponymous name.
00:15:40.000 She also lost Pikachu.
00:15:42.000 Now, Ken, her husband, I think he was a pro soccer player as a young man, he's obsessed with the dogs.
00:15:49.000 And they've been crying for days about the death of Pikachu and Pink Dog.
00:15:54.000 But Gigly, and I believe there's another dog named Rumpy Pumpy, are still alive.
00:16:00.000 And they were able to make it to the premiere.
00:16:02.000 And Ken said to his wife, you know, I think Pikachu, if he were here today, he would be so proud of you.
00:16:11.000 He would be so proud of what you're doing.
00:16:15.000 No, he wouldn't.
00:16:16.000 You know what dogs are thinking as you anthropomorphize them and think they're saying, what are you doing in my chair?
00:16:23.000 This is what dogs are thinking.
00:16:24.000 I can read dogs' minds.
00:16:26.000 You want to know what they're thinking?
00:16:27.000 They're thinking, food, food, sex, sex, territory, territory, food, food, food, food, food, food, sex, territory, territory, territory, food, food, food, food, food, safety, safety, food, food.
00:16:35.000 Predator?
00:16:36.000 Food, food, food, food, food, food, food, sex, territory, territory.
00:16:39.000 That's what they're thinking.
00:16:40.000 They're not going, you know, Lisa, I died about a week ago, and I want you to know that I am so proud of you for exposing the Chinese.
00:16:50.000 All you're doing, by the way, is making Chinese people mad.
00:16:53.000 Because this is something in their culture that goes back thousands of years.
00:16:57.000 It goes back to the opium crisis where we got them all addicted to opioids.
00:17:03.000 And we should do a, I'm going to mention something about heroin in a second, but we got them all addicted to opioids.
00:17:10.000 And they had no food.
00:17:13.000 They had a famine and they started eating cats and rats and mice and whatever.
00:17:16.000 They have a saying in China, if it moves, it's food.
00:17:19.000 Yes, they eat caterpillars.
00:17:21.000 So of course dogs are going to be included in that disgusting mess that is Chinese cuisine.
00:17:26.000 Anyway, sorry.
00:17:26.000 Check out this bizarre movie.
00:17:31.000 Dogs are truly man's best friend.
00:17:34.000 Truly.
00:17:35.000 Oh, look at her gay friends.
00:17:38.000 As they are to ours.
00:17:40.000 Unfortunately, not everyone agrees.
00:17:43.000 Oh, no.
00:17:47.000 Lisa told us, as hard as these images are to see, to not look away.
00:17:52.000 But it's impossible not to think of my own dogs and how anyone could torture an animal like this.
00:18:01.000 I remember it very clearly.
00:18:03.000 I was just looking through social media and I saw this Yulin Dog Meat Festival.
00:18:08.000 And I thought, what on earth is that?
00:18:10.000 I think something that we need to remember is that the majority of these dogs are stolen pets.
00:18:16.000 Oh.
00:18:17.000 That's not true.
00:18:18.000 ...some are pest because we've seen videos of them being snapped up off the street.
00:18:23.000 Just stop for a second.
00:18:25.000 That's called a stray.
00:18:27.000 That's not a pet.
00:18:29.000 People don't have their dogs just out wandering around on the street.
00:18:34.000 There's stray dogs all over the world, all over Italy.
00:18:38.000 Go to Sicily.
00:18:39.000 There's stray dogs everywhere.
00:18:40.000 Go to Greece.
00:18:41.000 Go to Puerto Rico, Costa Rica.
00:18:44.000 Nothing but stray dogs.
00:18:46.000 So some people eat them.
00:18:47.000 You know where there isn't stray dogs?
00:18:48.000 In Venezuela.
00:18:50.000 You know why?
00:18:51.000 Because they've been devoured by the hungry.
00:18:54.000 Like they just, they take a little piece of anecdotal evidence and they think that they're saving the world.
00:19:00.000 The whole world sucks.
00:19:02.000 My wife's an American Indian.
00:19:03.000 She's a Ho-Chunk.
00:19:05.000 And Ho-Chunks don't like being confused with their neighbors, the Menominee tribe, because the Menominee eat dogs.
00:19:12.000 Grow up, kiddies.
00:19:14.000 Pets, how would you feel if it was your pet?
00:19:17.000 It's unbelievable.
00:19:18.000 Yeah, Jiggly.
00:19:20.000 And they're going to end up on somebody's plate.
00:19:24.000 We've heard about it.
00:19:25.000 We've talked about it.
00:19:27.000 But to actually see it, it just takes it to a place that is just.
00:19:36.000 Walking through the slaughter yard, there was one dog that was kind of pressing herself up against the cage and looking at me, wanting to get out.
00:19:44.000 It's heartbreaking.
00:19:46.000 You can't even fathom that this is actually happening in our world.
00:19:49.000 They believe that it enhances sexual prowess.
00:19:54.000 Well, f off.
00:19:55.000 Take Biagra for that.
00:19:58.000 Oh, they all clap.
00:20:00.000 Just pause it there.
00:20:01.000 Sorry.
00:20:02.000 They all clap at her quip, and then her gay friend, who's like a paid sycophant, puts his hand on her leg.
00:20:11.000 You swore.
00:20:12.000 You swore at these people who eat dogs.
00:20:14.000 Way to go.
00:20:18.000 You got it, baby.
00:20:22.000 I saved the dog.
00:20:23.000 She's in the car with me.
00:20:24.000 Yeah.
00:20:27.000 Every little dog that we'd say is a victory, even if it's one of the time.
00:20:34.000 I mean, come on.
00:20:37.000 You did that.
00:20:43.000 Oh, that's me laughing.
00:20:44.000 Okay, that's enough.
00:20:46.000 And then, you know what they do after that?
00:20:48.000 They literally go and drink champagne.
00:20:52.000 They go and have champagne.
00:20:54.000 I believe, actually, excuse me.
00:20:58.000 I believe they were in a limousine.
00:21:00.000 I think they went to this premiere in a limousine.
00:21:05.000 Sorry.
00:21:06.000 And then drank champagne because they saved, what, four dogs, five dogs out of the millions of dogs that get eaten every year all over Asia, all over the world.
00:21:20.000 You know what soldiers told me in Iraq?
00:21:22.000 They said that they would see these Arabs just with shearing scissors just cut the ears off a dog just for a laugh.
00:21:30.000 And then as it was going and bleeding everywhere and walking around bleeding, they were laughing their heads off.
00:21:37.000 The world is a horrible place.
00:21:40.000 When Trump called Haiti a shithole, he was being accurate, no matter how many resorts you go to, Conan O'Brien.
00:21:48.000 All right.
00:21:49.000 So we have Clark on the show today going to jail.
00:21:53.000 We also, I want to look at this black woman on a plane who was yelling at everyone.
00:22:00.000 But before we get to that, I want to have a brief look at the opioid crisis because no one talks about that.
00:22:08.000 Check this out.
00:22:15.000 I'm ready.
00:22:15.000 I'm ready.
00:22:21.000 That kid, judging by the size of her hands, looks like she's about eight years old.
00:22:25.000 What is that?
00:22:27.000 What is that?
00:22:34.000 Alright, let's drive.
00:22:35.000 Oh, God.
00:22:42.000 What?
00:22:43.000 They are pathetic, aren't they, junkies?
00:22:44.000 Who are they now?
00:22:50.000 Thank you.
00:22:52.000 This goes on and on.
00:22:53.000 It's long and torturous.
00:22:56.000 But this woman is high out of her mind, bordering on an OD.
00:23:01.000 You might be watching your mother die.
00:23:03.000 You know how these junkies die?
00:23:04.000 They suffocate.
00:23:06.000 Their lungs forget to breathe.
00:23:09.000 And they stop.
00:23:12.000 They asphyxiate.
00:23:22.000 Look at her arm.
00:23:23.000 She's as tall as the mother.
00:23:25.000 They're not coming.
00:23:26.000 All right.
00:23:27.000 I'm ready for my friends.
00:23:29.000 I'll just take a minute.
00:23:30.000 She's got to be like eight years old.
00:23:34.000 Don't let your mother drive when she's on heroin, please.
00:23:38.000 Anyway, this goes on, but I thought it was interesting because I follow this guy on Instagram, New YorkNico, and he had a video of a junkie.
00:23:49.000 And you're looking at this guy and you realize you're going to die.
00:23:53.000 Look at him.
00:23:54.000 Check him out.
00:23:55.000 He's putting you out.
00:24:00.000 Did you say methadone?
00:24:02.000 Okay.
00:24:07.000 All right.
00:24:09.000 Okay, I will put it online.
00:24:13.000 This is Union Square in New York, which is just full of junk.
00:24:18.000 People nodding at us.
00:24:19.000 People dying.
00:24:21.000 And then you look at him now.
00:24:23.000 There he is.
00:24:24.000 He got clean.
00:24:26.000 It's a happy story.
00:24:27.000 Look at him talk.
00:24:29.000 But also, it's weird how much when you take somebody out of that environment and you give them a purpose, right?
00:24:35.000 Like, so you give them a vocational training or something like that.
00:24:38.000 It's weird how for me, that transformed, you know, because people start looking at you differently and they start treating you differently.
00:24:46.000 And I think all those things combined with having a purpose made it easier for me to not want to go back to it.
00:24:54.000 Because it's like, dude, if you have homelessness and drug addiction and society looking at you like you're a burden, right?
00:25:04.000 On one hand.
00:25:05.000 And then you have paying for your own apartment and, you know, working a job and a sense of accomplishment and a sense of pride in what you're doing on the other hand.
00:25:17.000 Like, why would you ever go back to that?
00:25:20.000 You know, the solution to junkies, right?
00:25:22.000 There is none.
00:25:23.000 They have to help themselves.
00:25:25.000 The more you help them, actually, the more you get involved, the worse it gets.
00:25:30.000 You have to cut them loose.
00:25:34.000 And they're dying in droves.
00:25:35.000 I mean, I've always been around heroin because, I don't know, my hipster background.
00:25:40.000 But now we're seeing it brought into the mainstream.
00:25:43.000 And I sort of, I feel like telling normies, telling people in the suburbs, hey, I've been through this before.
00:25:49.000 Cut them loose.
00:25:50.000 This guy's story, he found a vocational school, he found it on his own.
00:25:54.000 You can't pick up a junkie and take them to a vocational school.
00:25:58.000 And the strange part of all this is no one's talking about it.
00:26:02.000 And I think it's because big pharma pays big bucks.
00:26:06.000 That's the great thing about CRTV.
00:26:08.000 We don't have, we're not beholden to advertisers.
00:26:10.000 We don't need you.
00:26:11.000 Oh, by the way, you know the other day when I was talking about that Sinclair thing and I said the news is all spoon-fed, it's since come out that the guy who sent all those local news stations that press release, have you got that footage, Dave?
00:26:29.000 His name's Sinclair, I guess, and the CEO is a Trump guy.
00:26:34.000 And he made them all say that because he hates fake news and he loves Trump and he's a conservative, whatever.
00:26:42.000 So I'm now changing my stance on that because I'm a total hypocrite and I just follow what my team does.
00:26:52.000 So when I criticize someone and then find out that they're a Trump supporter, I change the criticism and totally disavow my criticism.
00:27:02.000 So now I like that these people are spoon-fed the news and they have no brain of their own and they're like robots who just recite what they're spoon-fed because they're being spoon-fed pro-Trump stuff.
00:27:15.000 God, this iTunes thing.
00:27:17.000 iTunes, remember everyone loved iTunes?
00:27:21.000 It was a thing.
00:27:22.000 We all would make mixtapes on it, mixed CDs, and you ruined that, you dummies.
00:27:27.000 Now, every time anyone sees an iTunes update, they go, oh, God, leave me alone, machines.
00:27:33.000 Oh, I want to talk about this.
00:27:34.000 Google Doodles.
00:27:36.000 On Easter, there was absolutely nothing.
00:27:40.000 Jesus Christ, the Son of God, rose from the dead after three days in a cave, pushed a big boulder away, came back and said, I hope you're happy now.
00:27:53.000 You murdered me, you jerks.
00:27:56.000 I hope you understand what just happened.
00:27:59.000 Not good enough for Google Doodle.
00:28:01.000 Google on Easter Sunday was just Google.
00:28:05.000 In fact, it might be one of the only days I've ever seen where they don't have something.
00:28:09.000 Now, I saw this on social media.
00:28:12.000 There is a bunch of different Google doodles for religious holidays and I think they're Yeah, yeah.
00:28:20.000 I mean, some more obscure than others.
00:28:23.000 But yeah, yep, these are all Jewish holidays.
00:28:26.000 Huh.
00:28:28.000 Because the guy who started Google is Israeli, and I have no problem with Jewish holidays.
00:28:32.000 By all means, make it a Google Doodle.
00:28:34.000 But to do that for Judaism and not do it for Christianity seems awfully strange, does it not?
00:28:40.000 And check out, by the way, check out today's.
00:28:44.000 Today's is Maya Angelou.
00:28:47.000 She is the most overrated person in history.
00:28:51.000 You know what Maya Angelou did?
00:28:53.000 Still I rise.
00:28:55.000 You may write me down in history with your bitter twisted lies.
00:29:00.000 You may trod me in the very dirt, but I'll rise.
00:29:08.000 Does my sassiness upset you?
00:29:10.000 No, I don't care.
00:29:11.000 Why are you beset with gloom?
00:29:12.000 Beset?
00:29:13.000 Just because I walk like I've got oil wells pumping in my living room.
00:29:18.000 Well, that doesn't make any sense.
00:29:20.000 Moons and like suns with the certainty of tides, just like hopes springing high.
00:29:28.000 I know her, America.
00:29:29.000 I rise.
00:29:31.000 Did you want to see me broken?
00:29:33.000 Bowed head.
00:29:35.000 All right, so that goes on.
00:29:36.000 They got Oprah reading from it.
00:29:38.000 Very mediocre poem with bizarre English like beset.
00:29:42.000 You know what Maya Angelou did?
00:29:44.000 She wrote seven autobiographies.
00:29:47.000 She wrote about herself, and her poems are about how awesome she is.
00:29:53.000 She gets a Google Doodle.
00:29:54.000 Not Jesus, though.
00:29:56.000 Sorry.
00:29:57.000 Not good enough.
00:29:59.000 Here's another interesting story.
00:30:02.000 Blue Lives Matter.
00:30:04.000 This was a bar.
00:30:06.000 Where was it now?
00:30:08.000 Nellie Sports Bar in DC's Shaw neighborhood.
00:30:11.000 They had a gay cops party, and they dared to imply that cops shouldn't die.
00:30:19.000 DC Sports Bar forced to apologize for flying Blue Lives Matter flag for gay police officer meeting.
00:30:25.000 So these gay cops are in there doing whatever they do, kissing men with beards, and they get in trouble from Black Lives Matter because that flag means black people should die.
00:30:38.000 So just to catch you up on the narrative here, the narrative is cops murder black people at will.
00:30:45.000 It's fun for them.
00:30:46.000 That's just something they do.
00:30:48.000 And if you like that, if you like cops, then you support the fact that they randomly murder black people.
00:30:57.000 What?
00:30:58.000 How do we get here?
00:31:00.000 And what they do is they rewrite the story.
00:31:02.000 So that, what was that chick who had a, her name is like Charlene Boring or something.
00:31:08.000 She was murdered because her taillight was out.
00:31:11.000 No, she hanged herself in prison because she was a manic depressive who had talked about killing herself quite a bit.
00:31:17.000 They didn't shoot her from their car because Charlene Bland, that was her name, because she had a taillight out.
00:31:26.000 And it's got to the point now where you can't have, like, if I have that bumper sticker on my car in New York City, my car will get vandalized because Blue Lives Matter now means brown lives don't matter.
00:31:38.000 I'm not exaggerating.
00:31:43.000 They stopped to celebrate an LGBT police group that was meeting there, but the bar owners met with criticism from local Black Lives Matter activists who insisted that flying the police-centric flag meant the bar didn't support minorities.
00:31:57.000 I'm not exaggerating.
00:31:59.000 You think I'm being hyperbolic?
00:32:01.000 They just said that.
00:32:02.000 Blue Lives Matter means Black Lives Don't Matter.
00:32:07.000 What about black cops?
00:32:10.000 One even claimed the bar supported anti-blackness.
00:32:15.000 Oh, God.
00:32:16.000 Just call it racism.
00:32:17.000 Stop making up new words for things.
00:32:19.000 All right.
00:32:21.000 Do you want to see me broken?
00:32:23.000 There's another line in this poem, by the way, where Laverne Cox, the tranny, Laverne Cox reads a line that says, well, here we go.
00:32:34.000 Shoulders falling down like teardrops, weakened by my soulful cries.
00:32:41.000 Does my haughtiness offend you?
00:32:43.000 Don't take it awful hard.
00:32:45.000 Just cause I laugh as if I've got gold mines digging in my own back.
00:32:51.000 By the way, this is written like a children's book.
00:32:53.000 This is a really good kid's book.
00:32:55.000 But later on in it, she goes, don't hate me just because I walk like I have diamonds where my thighs meet.
00:33:03.000 What?
00:33:04.000 Your vagina is made of diamonds?
00:33:06.000 And guess who's reading that part?
00:33:07.000 Laverne Cox.
00:33:09.000 Who has Cox?
00:33:12.000 Laverne Cox, I believe, has a penis or a man-made vagina.
00:33:18.000 At any rate, whatever's down there, I wouldn't describe as a wonderful vagina.
00:33:23.000 And that's what Maya Angelou meant when she wrote that particular sentence.
00:33:28.000 The world has gone insane.
00:33:31.000 Just to recap, Jesus Christ rose from the dead.
00:33:36.000 Boring.
00:33:37.000 Pew.
00:33:38.000 Laverne Cox reads from a woman who wrote seven books about herself and says, my genitalia is made of diamonds.
00:33:47.000 Front page of Google.
00:33:48.000 Come on in.
00:33:51.000 All right, let's talk to a guy who's going to jail.
00:33:53.000 Clark, are you there, sir?
00:33:55.000 I'm here, Gavin.
00:33:57.000 How you doing?
00:33:58.000 Hanging in there, hanging tough.
00:34:00.000 Now, you're facing some prison time.
00:34:04.000 That I am.
00:34:07.000 Actually, so I was most recently, my plea deal was for two years, but I just found out last night from my attorney that it was dropped down to six months and then five years of probation.
00:34:20.000 You're kidding me?
00:34:21.000 No.
00:34:22.000 That's fantastic news.
00:34:24.000 Yeah, I was literally skipping down the street last night.
00:34:28.000 Oh, my God.
00:34:30.000 That's so great.
00:34:30.000 I'm finding this out on the show right now.
00:34:33.000 Oh, my God.
00:34:33.000 That's fantastic.
00:34:36.000 So what is the exact charge?
00:34:38.000 What's the name of the charge?
00:34:40.000 So they were trying to get me with criminal possession of a weapon in the second degree.
00:34:46.000 Basically, I had a pistol in my car with a few rounds in the magazine.
00:34:54.000 That's a bigger deal than just having a pistol in your car.
00:34:57.000 Yeah.
00:34:58.000 So they dropped it down to attempted possession.
00:35:02.000 Now, my understanding with New York gun laws is you're looking at five years if you have a scuba gun, a paintball gun, a BB gun.
00:35:11.000 Yeah.
00:35:12.000 Let alone a real gun.
00:35:14.000 You can't even get a permit for a pellet gun here.
00:35:18.000 It's the strictest.
00:35:20.000 It's got to be the strictest place in America.
00:35:24.000 So you got caught with all that.
00:35:25.000 How did you get caught?
00:35:28.000 Long story short, I was dating this girl here in Williamsburg, and we got in a fight.
00:35:35.000 The cops showed up.
00:35:37.000 They were asking her questions.
00:35:39.000 They had already cuffed me.
00:35:41.000 They obviously take the woman's side every time on this.
00:35:45.000 And so they were asking her questions.
00:35:47.000 They asked her if she was scared of me.
00:35:48.000 She said yes.
00:35:49.000 They asked her if I had any weapons that I could possibly use against her.
00:35:53.000 She's like, oh yeah, he's got a gun locked up in his car out on the street.
00:35:57.000 So they arrested me for the domestic stuff, which was bullcrap.
00:36:05.000 And then while I was in custody, they impounded my car because they had probable cause and they found the pistol.
00:36:15.000 Wow.
00:36:15.000 Well, I think the question that's springing to everyone's mind is, what are you doing with a car in New York?
00:36:26.000 I mean, the public transportation is very efficient.
00:36:29.000 You get parking tickets all the time.
00:36:31.000 You've got to do alternate side parking.
00:36:33.000 I mean, you must have paid a fortune in parking tickets alone.
00:36:36.000 I never got one, actually.
00:36:38.000 Wow, you're very tenacious.
00:36:41.000 I had the car here in New York for about six months before this happened.
00:36:44.000 So you're a Hawaiian originally, which is probably why you were so naive about the gun laws in New York.
00:36:55.000 So you bought this on the street.
00:36:57.000 How much did it cost you?
00:36:58.000 How hard was it to get?
00:37:00.000 Actually, I briefly lived in Ohio, and I bought it there.
00:37:05.000 It used secondhand.
00:37:06.000 I paid $140 for it.
00:37:09.000 In Ohio, the registration is voluntary.
00:37:12.000 So I never registered the gun.
00:37:16.000 And then when I moved here to New York, I looked into it and it was just such an insane process.
00:37:22.000 And it's so expensive.
00:37:23.000 I couldn't even afford to register the gun.
00:37:25.000 I was like, I only paid $140 for this thing.
00:37:29.000 Have you ever shot it?
00:37:33.000 I had shot it many times in other states.
00:37:37.000 But never in New York.
00:37:38.000 Never in New York.
00:37:40.000 So you get arrested because you're dating a crazy broad.
00:37:45.000 Yep.
00:37:46.000 And you were originally, you must have been looking at five years to begin with.
00:37:51.000 Yeah, so the initial was five years, and then I hired a very good lawyer, and he was able to get them to drop it to three and a half.
00:38:00.000 And this court case has been going on since last April, so just about a year now.
00:38:08.000 And over the course of the last year, for the first 10 months, it was down to three and a half years.
00:38:13.000 And then just last week, they had dropped it down to two years.
00:38:17.000 And my lawyer was telling me, he's like, listen, we got to keep fighting this.
00:38:21.000 We can get this down some more.
00:38:22.000 And I didn't believe him because they had just been telling me years for the last year.
00:38:27.000 And now I just found out last night, I got a text saying that they had dropped it down to six months.
00:38:34.000 What prison are you going to be in?
00:38:37.000 So because it's less than a year, I'm not going to be going upstate.
00:38:40.000 I'll be in Rikers the whole time, most likely.
00:38:43.000 Rikers is pretty.
00:38:44.000 It's pretty bad.
00:38:46.000 It's very bad, actually.
00:38:48.000 Are you going to get raped?
00:38:51.000 I hope not.
00:38:53.000 You should shave your head.
00:38:55.000 You should go in there, cut your face, and go in there looking like a lunatic.
00:39:00.000 You don't want to look cute.
00:39:06.000 All right, Clark.
00:39:06.000 Well, that's great news.
00:39:07.000 I mean, it's weird to say great news that someone's going to jail, but it's great news that you've got.
00:39:13.000 It's a lot less sucky than two years.
00:39:15.000 Yeah, five years to six months.
00:39:17.000 I kind of would like to go to jail for six months, catch up on some reading.
00:39:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:39:22.000 Well, you can come visit me.
00:39:24.000 Well, I'll tell you.
00:39:26.000 Not only are we going to visit you, but I'm going to bring buxom women with me for the visit, and they will have heaving cleavage at every visit.
00:39:37.000 You have my word on that.
00:39:40.000 All right.
00:39:41.000 All right.
00:39:42.000 All right, Clark.
00:39:42.000 Well, best of luck, buddy.
00:39:44.000 See you soon.
00:39:45.000 All right, Cal.
00:39:45.000 Have a good one.
00:39:46.000 Cheers.
00:39:46.000 Cheers.
00:39:47.000 I'm at the cleanest, laundering dirty money Like that go I'm at the cleanest, I'm at the cleanest, I'm at the cleanest Oh, yeah.
00:39:58.000 I forgot to talk about this.
00:40:00.000 I guess I'll do that tomorrow.
00:40:02.000 In fact, the only thing we have time for is me saying get off my lawn.
00:40:21.000 Welcome back, Carter.