Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 18, 2018


Get Off My Lawn #118 | Cirque Du Stormy


Episode Stats

Length

43 minutes

Words per Minute

166.87643

Word Count

7,248

Sentence Count

664

Misogynist Sentences

41

Hate Speech Sentences

85


Summary

Kendrick Lamar wins the Pulitzer Prize for Best Rap Album and Best Rap Song, and the world is a ghetto because of it. We also discuss the death of Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown and the lack of support for the Black Lives Matter movement.


Transcript

00:00:11.000 This is the world.
00:00:15.000 And I've been through a whole lot.
00:00:17.000 Trial tribulation, but I know God.
00:00:18.000 Saying when I'm putting me in the boat, I love myself.
00:00:31.000 The world is a ghetto because of dick inside I love myself But they can do what they want whenever they want, I don't mind I love myself You say I gotta get up next to more than suicide I love myself One day at a time So I'm gonna shine Everybody looking at you crazy.
00:00:47.000 What you gonna do?
00:00:50.000 I love myself.
00:00:53.000 I hate that shit.
00:00:55.000 I love myself.
00:00:57.000 I know you hate me because I'm black, and I want you to know that I'm overcoming all that animosity that surrounds me here in America, cucka.
00:01:08.000 And I love myself.
00:01:10.000 Yeah.
00:01:11.000 Dude, I don't care about you.
00:01:13.000 Love the crap out of yourself.
00:01:14.000 I'm not racist.
00:01:16.000 I don't dislike you.
00:01:17.000 Nor do I like you.
00:01:18.000 You don't exist.
00:01:20.000 That's the whole thing with all this trans and obesity plus size.
00:01:25.000 You want me dead?
00:01:27.000 You're under the impression I care about you?
00:01:30.000 I don't care about you.
00:01:32.000 It's the same with why are you trying to shock people?
00:01:35.000 You're thinking that I care about your opinion.
00:01:37.000 I'm just doing my job and saying my opinions.
00:01:40.000 The fact that it shocks you is beyond irrelevant to me.
00:01:43.000 Don't care.
00:01:46.000 That is a good song, though.
00:01:47.000 I got to admit, I like it.
00:01:48.000 I love the sort of 70s soul funk groove.
00:01:51.000 Meow, meow, meow.
00:01:52.000 Reminds me of that we were playing Funkadelic the other day with Eddie Hazel blaring away on the guitar.
00:01:58.000 But the reason I chose that, and it's kind of eerie that the post opened up right to this page.
00:02:03.000 Hip-hop hooray!
00:02:06.000 Hey!
00:02:09.000 Kendrick Lamar, who was the vocalist you just heard saying, I love myself, rocking the world.
00:02:15.000 It's sort of like black and white couples, when they see you, even in New York City, believe it or not, the woman should be holding hands with a black man, darker the better, and she'll sort of look at you like, you got a problem with this?
00:02:29.000 Yeah, you're a real revolutionary.
00:02:31.000 You fornicate with a man you're in love with.
00:02:35.000 Would you want the Nobel Peace Prize for that?
00:02:38.000 Well, Kendrick Lamar won the Pulitzer Prize.
00:02:43.000 Congratulations for some excellent writing.
00:02:45.000 The Pulitzer Prize, are you familiar with this writing award?
00:02:49.000 It's for our finest scribes, our most revolutionary thinkers.
00:02:53.000 Hemingway won the Pulitzer Prize.
00:02:55.000 He wrote some pretty good books.
00:02:57.000 JFK won the Pulitzer Prize.
00:03:00.000 He had some very interesting observations.
00:03:03.000 And Kendrick Lamar cut to 2018 where the bar is so low that you win a prize for saying you love yourself.
00:03:11.000 Let's hear what he has to say.
00:03:17.000 world is a ghetto.
00:03:18.000 How is that?
00:03:25.000 Great.
00:03:30.000 Everybody looking at you crazy.
00:03:32.000 What you gonna do?
00:03:35.000 Pull it, sir.
00:03:36.000 Well, let the paranoia haunt you.
00:03:38.000 Peace to fashion police.
00:03:39.000 I wear my heart.
00:03:40.000 On my sleeve, let the runway start.
00:03:42.000 You know the men's a bow do love company.
00:03:44.000 What do you want from me and my scars?
00:03:46.000 Everybody lack confidence.
00:03:47.000 Everybody lack confidence.
00:03:48.000 Hey, pigs.
00:03:49.000 I love myself.
00:03:51.000 What are you gonna do about that?
00:03:52.000 You can't make me hate myself.
00:03:55.000 Yeah.
00:03:56.000 Try again, pigs.
00:03:59.000 I sound like Chris Rock sometimes, right?
00:04:01.000 Try again, pigs.
00:04:05.000 A lot of racial shit this year.
00:04:07.000 A lot of racial shit.
00:04:09.000 So let's listen to the end of that song.
00:04:12.000 You want to hear some Pulitzer Prize dialogue?
00:04:14.000 It's done on the YouTube version.
00:04:16.000 If you go to Spotify, and it's from the album, by the way, To Pimp a Butterfly, Pulitzer.
00:04:21.000 Let's hear the Pulitzer ending to that Pulitzer song.
00:04:24.000 2015, niggas tired of playing Victor, dog.
00:04:27.000 Dave, I know I tell you to censor swear words.
00:04:30.000 Yeah.
00:04:31.000 Like nigga.
00:04:32.000 Do not censor them.
00:04:33.000 In this case, it's newsworthy.
00:04:36.000 So all the swear words in the following segment need to stay there because it's relevant to the story.
00:04:41.000 And the story is that this is Pulitzer Prize material.
00:04:45.000 Niggas ain't trying to play Vic Tutu.
00:04:46.000 How many niggas we done lost?
00:04:47.000 Yeah, yeah, how many we lost?
00:04:51.000 No, for real, answer the question.
00:04:52.000 How many niggas we done lost, bro?
00:04:54.000 How many niggas we done lost, bro?
00:04:56.000 Speaking obviously about, you know, Mike Brown, Trayvon Martin, Charlene Bland, all of these cases where, according to Black America, cops just randomly shot dudes for fun.
00:05:10.000 Hey, looky here, boys.
00:05:12.000 Ooh, I got one.
00:05:13.000 Look, there's a Negro.
00:05:14.000 He's going to see if he can get his college scholarship wrong, buddy.
00:05:20.000 Look, there's one wants to help an old lady cross the street.
00:05:23.000 Not today, Negro.
00:05:26.000 So this gentleman, and by the way, this isn't specifically what he won the Pulitzer Prize for, but this is the Kendrick Lamar milieu, okay?
00:05:34.000 So he's trying to wake up the people in his neighborhood after hearing that fun song to the fact that they are under siege from the police.
00:05:43.000 This year alone.
00:05:45.000 By the way, this year alone, I think there's 3,000 murders of black men every year.
00:05:50.000 I'll have to double verify that.
00:05:52.000 Virtually all of them.
00:05:54.000 Let's just say all.
00:05:55.000 It's like 96, and I'm sure the margin of error is 4%.
00:05:58.000 96, 100% of these black men that they done lost this year are murdered by black men.
00:06:05.000 So maybe we can get back to the 90s.
00:06:07.000 Remember the 90s where rap would say, yo, we need to recognize, stop the violence, wake up.
00:06:11.000 Chuck D is out there.
00:06:13.000 We need to stop killing each other and wake up to the violence.
00:06:15.000 Not blame it on cops.
00:06:19.000 Exactly.
00:06:19.000 So we ain't got time to waste time, my nigga.
00:06:23.000 Niggas gotta make time, bro.
00:06:25.000 Peters gotta make time.
00:06:27.000 The judge make time.
00:06:28.000 You know that.
00:06:29.000 The judge make time, right?
00:06:32.000 The judge make time so it ain't shit.
00:06:34.000 It shouldn't be shit for us to come out here.
00:06:36.000 The sun also rises by heavyweight or this rank.
00:06:40.000 On the dad homies, Charlie P. You know that, bro.
00:06:43.000 You know that.
00:06:44.000 All right, that's enough.
00:06:46.000 Bigotry of low expectations.
00:06:47.000 I don't like racism.
00:06:48.000 And when you award something to someone just because they're black, like when Barack Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize for doing absolutely nothing, it bothers me.
00:06:56.000 Merit, when people get rewarded for things they don't deserve, it bothers me.
00:07:01.000 I don't even like when people have jobs that are stupid jobs that could easily be replaced.
00:07:06.000 That bothers me too.
00:07:08.000 Anyway, front page of the post, cirque de stormie.
00:07:13.000 And it's the usual boring garbage about Stormy Daniels.
00:07:18.000 Hey, media class, no one cares about Stormy Daniels.
00:07:22.000 Or in the very least, politically, they don't see it as a detriment to Trump's career.
00:07:27.000 We knew what we were signing up for.
00:07:28.000 We knew we were not signing up for a saint.
00:07:31.000 We knew he was not a goody two-shoes.
00:07:33.000 We said no to goody two-shoes like Ted Cruz and Mitt Romney.
00:07:36.000 So we know we got a bad boy, but we needed a bad boy because you people are immoral monsters and we needed a pit bull to get in there and sneak dynamite under your bed.
00:07:48.000 Today we're going to talk about Australia.
00:07:50.000 I got a friend of mine who I'm very close to, who is probably, I would say, my very best friend.
00:07:57.000 What's her name again, David?
00:07:59.000 Sidney Watson.
00:07:59.000 Sidney Watson.
00:08:00.000 I keep thinking Ashley.
00:08:01.000 Sidney Watson is on the show today, and we'll be talking about Australia and the war on the family and the war on Western culture in general.
00:08:09.000 And the controversial question, do some immigrants assimilate better than others?
00:08:14.000 Why is that controversial?
00:08:15.000 Why did Pat Buchanan get in trouble for saying a thousand Englishmen would assimilate better than a thousand Zulus?
00:08:21.000 Why do we keep lying to ourselves?
00:08:23.000 That's my million-dollar question here.
00:08:24.000 Why do we listen to Kendrick Lamar and go, that's a Pulitzer right there?
00:08:32.000 It's Mando?
00:08:35.000 And I say this because I love niggas, man.
00:08:37.000 I say this because I love you niggas.
00:08:38.000 I love all my niggas, bro.
00:08:40.000 I love all my niggas, bro.
00:08:43.000 Enough said.
00:08:45.000 It just lies.
00:08:46.000 It's the same as the Caitlin Jenner lies.
00:08:48.000 All I want from this show, all I want from America is honesty.
00:08:51.000 The West is inarguably the best, and you know that.
00:08:54.000 And all these attempts to sabotage the family with gender doesn't exist, and 10-year-old boys can be dirty little whores and wear makeup and fishnets.
00:09:02.000 No, they can't.
00:09:03.000 We're raising a genderless child.
00:09:05.000 No, you're not.
00:09:06.000 Boys want to play with swords.
00:09:08.000 I don't care if they grow up cryogenically frozen in a sensory deprivation tank.
00:09:12.000 They want to play with toy guns.
00:09:15.000 Actually, they'd love to play with real guns.
00:09:18.000 So before we get to our Australian vendor, I also want to talk about this Australian demi Lardner.
00:09:23.000 I like how I can remember her name and not the person I like's name.
00:09:27.000 And about this new genre of comedy.
00:09:29.000 Remember when the gays ruined Electroclash?
00:09:31.000 Well, they seem to be doing the same thing to stand-up comedy.
00:09:33.000 Not that stand-up comedy could possibly get worse, or can it?
00:09:37.000 But before we get to all that, there's a few things in the news I want to get to.
00:09:40.000 How much time do we have, Dave?
00:09:41.000 We're running out of time here, right?
00:09:43.000 We're about 10 minutes in.
00:09:44.000 Oh, good.
00:09:44.000 Oh, we're 10 minutes in.
00:09:45.000 Sorry.
00:09:45.000 So we only got about five minutes.
00:09:47.000 The Starbucks thing.
00:09:48.000 Remember I was talking yesterday?
00:09:49.000 Two guys go to Starbucks and loiter.
00:09:51.000 They sit there on their asses.
00:09:54.000 And eventually, like all stores, remember when you're a kid?
00:09:57.000 Are you buying something here?
00:09:59.000 Get out.
00:09:59.000 Every time you go to Bodega, you try to read the Mad magazines.
00:10:01.000 No, no, no, no.
00:10:02.000 Put down the Mad.
00:10:03.000 You either buy that or leave, kid.
00:10:05.000 You got money?
00:10:06.000 How much is this bubblegum?
00:10:07.000 Remember, you'd ask all the prices and things?
00:10:08.000 How much is this?
00:10:09.000 85 cents.
00:10:10.000 And you have like a big handful of nickels.
00:10:12.000 Damn it.
00:10:13.000 What about if I have 80 cents?
00:10:15.000 Then you can't buy it, kid.
00:10:16.000 Get out of here.
00:10:18.000 But these guys just sit there and then they just say, we were waiting for our friend.
00:10:24.000 Yeah, you didn't want to order coffee.
00:10:25.000 You wanted to wait for him because coffee, as I said yesterday, is Thanksgiving dinner and everyone has to be together to buy it.
00:10:31.000 So they're apparently waiting for a real estate developer.
00:10:33.000 And the accepted narrative here is racism.
00:10:37.000 If you ask loiterers to leave and they're white, then you are promoting your business like everyone does and you're saying either buy something or leave.
00:10:45.000 You know, normal stuff.
00:10:46.000 But if they're black, you don't like Negroes in your neighborhood.
00:10:51.000 Hey, boy, that's a Starbucks.
00:10:53.000 We don't like Negroes.
00:10:55.000 I got kicked out of a Starbucks for loitering when I was 15.
00:10:58.000 What?
00:10:58.000 I got kicked out of a Starbucks when I was 15 for loitering.
00:11:01.000 It's called America's business model.
00:11:03.000 Why do you think loitering is a thing?
00:11:06.000 Why do you think that's a word in your head?
00:11:09.000 Again, it goes back to the same concept of this denial, this self-lying.
00:11:13.000 So now we got these activists, one of them apparently is in Devo, just screaming at the staff for their racist ways.
00:11:20.000 They tried to get the cops fired.
00:11:23.000 And of course, Jamel Bowie has to chime in.
00:11:27.000 He's a very black man who writes, I think, for BuzzFeed.
00:11:32.000 And so at Slate, he said, the arrest of two white men in Philadelphia Starbucks, Philadelphia, by the way.
00:11:38.000 I mean, this is a white area, but in Philadelphia, you're used to black people.
00:11:42.000 He says, what did he say here?
00:11:46.000 Oh, yeah, check out this.
00:11:47.000 It's deeply raced.
00:11:49.000 Have you ever heard that term before?
00:11:50.000 Deeply raced?
00:11:51.000 Race is about power and hierarchy.
00:11:53.000 When one is raced, one is placed in a relationship to that hierarchy.
00:11:58.000 Your position assigned to your body and made visit.
00:12:01.000 What language do these people speak?
00:12:03.000 This is academia.
00:12:04.000 This is leftist academia.
00:12:06.000 In other words, Klingon.
00:12:08.000 Places too can be raced.
00:12:11.000 R-A-C-E-D, by the way, not erased.
00:12:14.000 Spaces of affluence and exclusivity are typically associated with white faces reflecting racial distributions of wealth.
00:12:21.000 This is the kind of thing that gets an A in college and gets an F in the real world.
00:12:25.000 I don't know what you're talking about.
00:12:27.000 Now, you might remember Jamal Bowie.
00:12:30.000 Every time he's on the news, they could be talking about Hurricane Katrina.
00:12:34.000 They could be talking about minimum wage.
00:12:36.000 Everything is the Civil War.
00:12:38.000 Everything is blackness.
00:12:39.000 Have you got this clip?
00:12:41.000 I think I recognize Ben Dominic there from The Federalist being subjected to this guy's pathetic rants about racism, racism, racism.
00:12:49.000 I want to talk a bit more about that cultural resentment because I think we run the risk of sort of painting to get a little too amorphous.
00:12:55.000 But remember, Trump ran his campaign.
00:12:57.000 He began his campaign attacking Hispanic immigrants And various other racial and ethnic minorities.
00:13:02.000 I think some of this cultural anger we should correctly identify as being racial animus, and that it's significant that Trump is closed so much of his and done so well with white people.
00:13:13.000 Have you noticed people are so scared of him?
00:13:14.000 Probably because he's so black.
00:13:15.000 He's blacker than other blacks.
00:13:17.000 So they just let him drone on and on and on.
00:13:19.000 Anyone else, they go, all right, yes.
00:13:21.000 I have to interrupt you.
00:13:22.000 Sorry.
00:13:23.000 He just goes on.
00:13:23.000 He can talk about the Civil War.
00:13:24.000 In fact, he talks for so long, they have to cut to B-roll to prevent you from changing the channel.
00:13:30.000 going with that clip?
00:13:41.000 By the way, if you want to talk about Reconstruction and recalcitrant, you should probably learn how to pronounce them.
00:13:47.000 Okay, go ahead.
00:13:47.000 Look.
00:13:48.000 Look what they have to show.
00:13:49.000 These poor women are subjected to his rants.
00:13:51.000 Up until the 20s.
00:13:52.000 Please, Jamel, just shut up.
00:13:55.000 We've had a backlash for that reconstruction.
00:13:57.000 Board to tears.
00:13:58.000 I think the extent to which Donald Trump has won, running a campaign of racism and bigotry, turning out millions of white Americans for that campaign, suggests that we are living through a kind of second Reconstruction.
00:14:09.000 Yes, everything is racism.
00:14:10.000 All right, that's enough.
00:14:12.000 We're out of time, but I do have to squeeze in this one more thing.
00:14:16.000 Do you know the term Lugenpress?
00:14:18.000 It means lying press, and it's been popular in Germany since the 1910s.
00:14:22.000 And Ezra Levant turned me on to it.
00:14:24.000 And he goes, this is just more of the lying press.
00:14:27.000 And he got in trouble for saying the term Lugenpress.
00:14:30.000 They called it a Nazi phrase because the Nazi used it.
00:14:33.000 The Nazis used it.
00:14:34.000 Yeah, they did.
00:14:35.000 It's German.
00:14:37.000 They also used the German word for the, Das.
00:14:41.000 They also did the German word for boat, boot.
00:14:45.000 By the way, I'm working on a Canadian documentary about Das Boot called Alleboot Das Boot.
00:14:52.000 But I thought that was amazing when they called Lugenpress a Nazi word because it was the Lugenpress lying about the Lugenpress.
00:15:00.000 Similarly, I found this article on BuzzFeed where they have Muslims takiya-ing about takiyah.
00:15:10.000 Now, takiyyah is an Islamic trick where you're allowed to lie to deceive your enemy to get your way, right?
00:15:17.000 And in this article, Muslims say, no, it doesn't exist, which is a lie, which is takiyah.
00:15:26.000 Now, I'm cited in this, and so is Ezra Levant.
00:15:31.000 But he talks to a Muslim expert who says it has nothing to do with, it has no connection to Sharia.
00:15:42.000 It has nothing to do with the Quran, and nothing to do with Sharia.
00:15:46.000 And by the way, another thing that's left out here is the Shia, by the way, if it's not Scottish, it's crap.
00:15:52.000 And if it's no Sunni, it's Shiite.
00:15:54.000 The Shia invented this because they were getting slaughtered by the Sunnis.
00:15:58.000 So that very term Tikiya comes from Muslims being slaughtered by not us, but Muslims.
00:16:04.000 Anyway, the whole thing is a pathetic lie.
00:16:07.000 Go back to the title there.
00:16:08.000 What's it called?
00:16:10.000 Takiyah, how an obscure Islamic concept became an obsession of anti-Muslim activists.
00:16:15.000 Thank God they didn't just call us Nazis.
00:16:17.000 But once again, they say, if all of you say this thing, then it's a Nazi thing or it's an anti-Muslim thing.
00:16:25.000 Okay, it's still true.
00:16:27.000 So Robert Spencer did a good article about it on Jihad Watch, and he talks about the history of Tiqiya.
00:16:34.000 And he talks about Fidel.
00:16:36.000 That's the, that guy there.
00:16:38.000 What's his name?
00:16:39.000 Muhammad Fidel.
00:16:41.000 Muhammad Fidel's contention that Tikiyah has nothing to do with Sharia.
00:16:44.000 Robert Spencer says, how could something that the Quran permits have no connection to Sharia?
00:16:51.000 Sharia is formulated from the Quran and Sunnah.
00:16:54.000 Fidel is relying on the ignorance of his audience, as we all are.
00:16:58.000 And it's not just the normal ignorance, the nice lazy ignorance we all get from sitting on our asses all day.
00:17:05.000 No, it's the willful ignorance that petrifies me, where we know something is total and utter crap, and we deny it.
00:17:15.000 And we sit there while gay Australians go and we laugh our heads off.
00:17:25.000 I would need maybe 2,000-ish people to help me.
00:17:30.000 but I don't know whether they will.
00:17:32.000 I don't know whether they will.
00:17:38.000 What is going on here?
00:17:39.000 I don't know whether they'll help me.
00:17:42.000 Look.
00:17:43.000 Oh my goodness, I hope they do.
00:17:46.000 Let's find out.
00:17:47.000 Here I go!
00:17:53.000 Comedy needs innovation.
00:17:55.000 Stand-up comedy is in a rut now.
00:17:57.000 It's Trump sex, Trump sex, and Trump sucks.
00:18:01.000 Lenny Bruce innovated.
00:18:02.000 Emo Phillips, Robin Williams.
00:18:04.000 Each new decade brought in a whole new generation of pioneers, of Mavericks, who blew it up and built it back up from scratch.
00:18:14.000 Although that seems to have died since, not just since Trump, I would say since before Trump.
00:18:19.000 We lost innovators and we just got people doing the same old landscape paintings.
00:18:24.000 So when these homosexuals came along and said, we have a whole new thing, we're adding kooky music, I thought, great, let's see what you got, a new kind of comedy.
00:18:39.000 There's a new kind of comedy.
00:18:41.000 It's coming around.
00:18:43.000 It's crazy.
00:18:44.000 It's fun.
00:18:44.000 What?
00:18:46.000 What?
00:18:47.000 It's the new comedy.
00:18:48.000 Hmm.
00:18:52.000 No jokes.
00:18:53.000 You just get strange music and you go, woo, hey, hey, happy.
00:18:58.000 What?
00:19:01.000 It's like idiocracy.
00:19:03.000 Let's check out, I think, the pioneer of this new genre, Australia's Demi Lardner.
00:19:10.000 She's got some jokes for you.
00:19:15.000 Check it out.
00:19:21.000 Did I hear someone say they wanted to hear my dad's Google history?
00:19:26.000 This must be her pen.
00:19:30.000 Dad's Google History!
00:19:32.000 Dad's Google History!
00:19:34.000 What is the name of the woman?
00:19:39.000 It's Google History!
00:19:41.000 It's body desk Google History!
00:19:43.000 Demi Lardner Age!
00:19:46.000 My dad doesn't know how to do it.
00:19:48.000 Dad's Google History!
00:19:54.000 Wait a minute, stop, stop.
00:19:56.000 Not only is this not a joke, but the premise is that her dad is not tech savvy.
00:20:02.000 She's checked out his cookies, but if you're going to make fun of someone, you have to be smarter than them.
00:20:06.000 If you type in are there birds, you get a thing called autofill.
00:20:12.000 So clearly, one of the options that her dad got was sufficient to answer the question.
00:20:18.000 He scrolled down and clicked on that.
00:20:21.000 So even in your hacky, my parents are not cool bit, you got it wrong.
00:20:28.000 Anyway, let's go back to being funny.
00:20:32.000 Dad's Google history!
00:20:34.000 He's a million years old.
00:20:36.000 He's out.
00:20:37.000 Can you please tell me if there is a new Mighty 10 thank you?
00:20:43.000 It's Bloody Dad's Google history.
00:20:46.000 That's a lie.
00:20:47.000 Your dad never wrote that.
00:20:49.000 You just needed a button, so you pretended that your dad said thank you to Google, which we know he didn't do.
00:20:55.000 But let's check out some more crazy new comedy.
00:20:58.000 It's really, really fun and involves no jokes.
00:21:02.000 Let's have some fun!
00:21:04.000 *music*
00:21:09.000 Notice the same wrists.
00:21:10.000 They're gays.
00:21:11.000 I like feeling good, yet I like feeling nice.
00:21:15.000 Choosing between good and light.
00:21:16.000 Can you just pause it here?
00:21:18.000 The first woman was clearly a lesbian.
00:21:20.000 And this man is clearly gay.
00:21:22.000 And I'm starting to believe that gay culture is crap culture.
00:21:26.000 It doesn't seem to have standards.
00:21:28.000 They get told they're okay, don't feel bad about yourself for so long that they start thinking that their feces is golden.
00:21:36.000 And so they get up on stage and essentially do the comic equivalent of defecating.
00:21:43.000 And we're all laughing hysterically at how funny you are for saying happy, happy.
00:21:49.000 Now let's hope, because song parodies are tricky.
00:21:52.000 Ween did it well.
00:21:54.000 Weirdo Yankovic built a career on his corny covers.
00:21:58.000 But funny music is tricky.
00:22:00.000 Let's see what the punchline is of this particular happy happy song.
00:22:05.000 Hit it, gay man.
00:22:15.000 is a cat.
00:22:25.000 Okay, just pause it here.
00:22:26.000 So the joke this gay man is telling us is that he's a cat, and then he starts going, meow, meow.
00:22:32.000 I think if you did that joke to four-year-olds, they would not laugh.
00:22:37.000 I've done comedy for toddlers for many years now.
00:22:41.000 I've got three kids.
00:22:42.000 I'm a cat, meow, meow.
00:22:44.000 They'd sort of go, yeah, that's okay.
00:22:46.000 It's not great, but it's mildly amusing.
00:22:49.000 But that's, I believe, the bit.
00:22:50.000 Is this going to go somewhere?
00:22:52.000 Is there a giant sort of subtle metaphor that relates to everything around us that we're all going to go, wow, I never thought of that.
00:22:58.000 Let's see, meow meow gay man.
00:22:59.000 Meow meow.
00:23:02.000 Meow meow.
00:23:03.000 I'm a good kitty cat.
00:23:05.000 Despite what you've heard.
00:23:07.000 Joke.
00:23:08.000 I never take the life of a rat or a bird.
00:23:11.000 So we're doing totally literal here.
00:23:14.000 Punchline.
00:23:19.000 Feline, feeling fine.
00:23:21.000 Show me yours.
00:23:22.000 I'll show you mine.
00:23:23.000 Get it out.
00:23:24.000 Let me see it.
00:23:24.000 What do I mean?
00:23:25.000 You smile, babe, yeah.
00:23:28.000 That's it.
00:23:29.000 Meow, meow, and the cat.
00:23:31.000 Is the subtext here that we're making fun of dance music?
00:23:34.000 Yeah, everyone knows dance music sucks.
00:23:37.000 It's almost like the name implies that it's only music that's there for dancing.
00:23:42.000 So you're analyzing the lyrics to dance music and making fun of them.
00:23:46.000 So so far, in this new genre of comedy, the two targets we have, and by the way, comedy is all about choosing your targets.
00:23:52.000 That's why, haha, that person's retarded, doesn't count as good quality stand-up.
00:23:57.000 But so far, the victims here have been my dad, who's clearly blue-collar, and by the way, put up with your gay ass.
00:24:04.000 My blue-collar dad isn't tech savvy.
00:24:07.000 And dance music tends to have vapid lyrics.
00:24:12.000 Mind-blown.
00:24:13.000 All right, so we've got two gays.
00:24:15.000 Let's see a spinster who are basically inseparable from lesbians because neither of them get any.
00:24:23.000 Sketch number one.
00:24:27.000 Okay, sketch is coming.
00:24:28.000 Woman, yeah.
00:24:33.000 It's not a woman.
00:24:35.000 Yeah.
00:24:36.000 It's going to be a thing.
00:24:39.000 It's not a woman.
00:24:41.000 Yeah.
00:24:42.000 Can you just pause it here?
00:24:43.000 This whole it's going to be a thing is really what defines this new genre of crap gay comedy.
00:24:48.000 It's going to be a thing.
00:24:49.000 You're sitting there waiting for the joke, waiting for something to happen, but nothing does.
00:24:56.000 Okay, let's keep going with the woman, yeah?
00:25:01.000 Makes a choice.
00:25:03.000 Sketch starts now.
00:25:04.000 *Music*
00:25:23.000 Bitch, bitch.
00:25:37.000 Fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, Bitch.
00:25:51.000 Feminism, yeah!
00:25:53.000 You just pause it here.
00:25:55.000 Did you get that joke?
00:25:56.000 The joke is that people don't listen to women.
00:25:59.000 And that dance song, which again has vapid lyrics, just says this, that, this, that, this, that.
00:26:06.000 By the way, the dance song is aware that it's not Dostoevsky.
00:26:10.000 They have some self-awareness there.
00:26:13.000 I'm a little winded from that dance.
00:26:15.000 But the second point of her joke, which isn't remotely funny, hey, Whoopi Goldberg, you need to say a joke to be a comedian.
00:26:24.000 You need to have a punchline.
00:26:26.000 And if you do have a punchline, it should be something we never thought of before.
00:26:30.000 It should be a new take on something.
00:26:32.000 It should be a new angle.
00:26:34.000 Because if it's something we already thought of, we don't need to go pay-see you.
00:26:37.000 We already have this brain.
00:26:38.000 We need your brain.
00:26:39.000 And if your brain's going to do something, it better be something new.
00:26:43.000 Her subtext here is that no one listens to women because we live in a sexist society.
00:26:48.000 Prove it, bitch.
00:26:50.000 And then at the end, she throws sparkles to go, feminism, yeah.
00:26:53.000 Now we don't know if she's parodying her own terrible take on sexism or if she really means it.
00:27:00.000 We don't know what you're talking about.
00:27:02.000 We don't know what you're doing.
00:27:03.000 This new genre of comedy is not funny.
00:27:12.000 Here's a video going around.
00:27:14.000 This is going on in British schools, posted by Alternative View Ireland.
00:27:18.000 And it appears to be a British kindergarten.
00:27:20.000 These kids can't be older than six years old, five years old, seven years old, maybe.
00:27:26.000 And it is a very sexy drag queen, very hot, in a very sexy dress with stilettos, telling the kids that they can be sexy too.
00:27:35.000 Let's check it out.
00:27:36.000 I want to know why I think it's a right to wear a dress.
00:27:40.000 Because dresses are made for people's bodies.
00:27:42.000 They're not designed for boys or for girls.
00:27:45.000 Okay, first of all, a dress like that is a sexy horror dress.
00:27:48.000 I like them on adult women, don't get me wrong.
00:27:51.000 So yes, they're not designed for boys or girls.
00:27:54.000 That's true.
00:27:55.000 They're designed for women.
00:27:57.000 Women.
00:27:58.000 That's why they go like this.
00:27:59.000 I don't know if you've seen a lot of men, but we tend to go like this.
00:28:04.000 I sort of go like this.
00:28:06.000 Like, I look like a teardrop.
00:28:09.000 I don't go like this.
00:28:11.000 I'm not shaped like a shampoo bottle.
00:28:13.000 So you're wrong on that.
00:28:15.000 And also, this isn't just any dress.
00:28:18.000 This is a sexy dress.
00:28:20.000 And he's also wearing stilettos and tons and tons of makeup.
00:28:25.000 Hey, 13-year-old girls, you may not dress like that.
00:28:28.000 My daughter will probably be allowed to wear makeup.
00:28:31.000 Well, I shouldn't use my daughter as an example.
00:28:33.000 That's a pet peeve of mine.
00:28:34.000 A young lady in America should be allowed to wear makeup maybe around 15 at the earliest.
00:28:40.000 As far as stilettos and sexy dresses, we got to get up to the 17s, 18s.
00:28:47.000 I don't know, maybe she's going to a bat mitzvah.
00:28:49.000 We might be able to make an exception.
00:28:50.000 But no, you can't dress like this, little girls, and you certainly may not dress like that, little boys.
00:28:57.000 They're just an item of clothing.
00:28:58.000 If you want to wear an item of clothing that makes you happy, please do it.
00:29:02.000 It's just one person in one outfit, and you've just got to learn to love everybody, because you're all amazing.
00:29:08.000 No matter if you wear a dress or anything.
00:29:10.000 The children came out absolutely buzzing about the sessions.
00:29:12.000 They said that they were really fun, really exciting, and really engaging.
00:29:15.000 And that was our primary objective for the day.
00:29:17.000 We know it was our primary objective to make sure everyone's buzzing.
00:29:21.000 I want to make sure everyone's buzzing.
00:29:23.000 At any rate, this video reminds me of Sidney Watson because she's off and on about the problems with the way we treat children, the way we sexualize children.
00:29:33.000 But, and I think this is related, it's also part of this general self-sabotage mentality where not only do we do we want to destroy the family, but we want to destroy the cult culture.
00:29:43.000 Let's just kill ourselves.
00:29:44.000 Let's get replaced.
00:29:46.000 And while we're getting replaced, let's make sure it's Sodom and Gomorrah the whole way down.
00:29:50.000 Let's just reenact the Bible, shall we?
00:29:53.000 Let's talk to Sydney about this now.
00:29:55.000 Sydney, are you there?
00:29:57.000 I am here.
00:29:59.000 How you doing?
00:29:59.000 You all right?
00:30:00.000 Yeah, I'm good.
00:30:01.000 I'm good.
00:30:02.000 How are you?
00:30:03.000 I'm great.
00:30:03.000 You sound, you have kind of an American accent in your Australian accent.
00:30:08.000 Yeah, I do.
00:30:08.000 I'm a dual citizen.
00:30:10.000 So American citizen born abroad.
00:30:12.000 I see.
00:30:13.000 Well, just because you're born abroad doesn't mean you have to stay abroad your whole life.
00:30:17.000 You can convert to male because gender is just a mental capacity.
00:30:22.000 It doesn't mean anything.
00:30:24.000 Yeah, no, I could.
00:30:25.000 I could, definitely.
00:30:25.000 It'd probably work out in America, actually, right now.
00:30:28.000 So that's a benefit.
00:30:30.000 I saw a thing on the news last night about a refugee.
00:30:33.000 I think he's coming from Mexico and he's trans.
00:30:36.000 And he's going up from Central America up through Mexico to become an illegal in America and then hopefully get all kinds of surgery and stuff because he can't get it down there.
00:30:47.000 Yeah, well, I don't think that a lot of those countries support the whole transgender thing.
00:30:52.000 I think this is a pretty new age concept that's predominantly in the West.
00:30:56.000 That's the funny thing about multiculturalism.
00:30:58.000 Everyone likes the concept when it comes to food, but they don't realize things like the age of consent in Mexico is 12.
00:31:06.000 It's illegal to be gay in almost all the countries in the Caribbean.
00:31:11.000 So this culture you're importing is a lot less progressive than you think.
00:31:17.000 Yeah, well, I guess that's the thing.
00:31:19.000 And I think that because of the differences between America and Australia, we're lucky because we're kind of isolated because we're like this little island in the middle of the ocean.
00:31:27.000 But America, you're connected to Canada and you're also connected to Mexico.
00:31:31.000 And therefore, I guess by extension, the Central and South American countries.
00:31:36.000 So you guys are in a difficult predicament compared to us.
00:31:39.000 Yeah, you're Alcatraz.
00:31:41.000 You're an island.
00:31:42.000 Perfect security.
00:31:44.000 You've got a wall and it's called a moat and it's full of sharks.
00:31:49.000 Now, that's always been the best thing about Australia, I've always said, is their immigration policy.
00:31:55.000 Even though it's getting more and more lefty in the island, they're still an island and they still have pretty good immigration policy.
00:32:02.000 But I feel like that's starting to change.
00:32:05.000 Is there a climate of open borders happening down there?
00:32:09.000 Yeah, I guess yes and no.
00:32:10.000 So I think that there's a sentiment in the country where basically a lot of Australians feel like the more immigrants we let in, the worse off our country actually is.
00:32:19.000 And it's interesting because I'm interning at the moment at a radio station and one of the topics today was about immigration and the amount of callers who phoned in absolutely furious about the immigration In Australia, and saying there's too many people because it's not sustainable.
00:32:33.000 I mean, if you consider, if you really think about it, the only places you can live are on the coastal cities.
00:32:39.000 The center of Australia is really hot.
00:32:42.000 It's really not the best place to be for a lot of us.
00:32:44.000 So, where are we going to put all these people?
00:32:46.000 And I think in the last year, I think we brought in, or at least the population has grown by 400,000 people.
00:32:53.000 That's a lot.
00:32:54.000 It's just not sustainable in the long run.
00:32:56.000 Well, what about the types of people?
00:32:59.000 Who is that politician that got in trouble recently for suggesting you take in white South African farmers?
00:33:05.000 Peter Deweeb.
00:33:05.000 Peter Dutton.
00:33:06.000 Peter Dutton.
00:33:08.000 Peter Deweeb.
00:33:11.000 Now, that's a problematic thing to say.
00:33:13.000 And Pat Buchanan got in trouble for this way back in the 80s, I think.
00:33:17.000 He said, a thousand Zulus would adapt to American culture a lot less well than a thousand Englishmen.
00:33:24.000 And I think that Australian politician is saying, look, these people are already very similar to our culture.
00:33:30.000 Let's bring them in.
00:33:32.000 Yeah, and I guess, I mean, that's how I think a lot of Australians are feeling because we do bring in a lot of people that are from the Middle East.
00:33:39.000 I mean, in fact, most of the numbers are from the Middle East.
00:33:42.000 They're from China.
00:33:43.000 They're from India.
00:33:43.000 And then actually the UK, interestingly enough.
00:33:45.000 But I think that's probably more a result of the Commonwealth than anything.
00:33:49.000 But then what you find is that some of these people are non-integratables, you know, like they don't assimilate very well into Australia.
00:33:57.000 And therefore, as far as a lot of us are concerned, sometimes it might be more preferable to bring in people who are from traditionally Western or white countries, which is not.
00:34:07.000 It's an uncomfortable truth because I've noticed that the blowback in Australia says, this guy wants to bring in white South African farmers.
00:34:13.000 We've got all these refugees on all these islands and all these sort of Guantanamo bays surrounding Australia, and these people are living in squalor.
00:34:22.000 And I look at that totally unsympathetically and I go, sorry, that's what happens when you try to illegally immigrate somewhere.
00:34:29.000 You get stuck in a holding pen.
00:34:31.000 It's called breaking the law.
00:34:33.000 You know, Mexico does it to Nicaraguans.
00:34:35.000 Every country does it.
00:34:37.000 Well, that was the argument that a lot of people made when Peter Dutton did make his comments about the white South African farmers.
00:34:43.000 They said, had those people come to Australia on a boat, you would have just straight off let them in.
00:34:48.000 And no, he wouldn't have because, again, you're not coming here legally.
00:34:51.000 You're not going through the processes that you should go through.
00:34:54.000 And therefore, no special treatment.
00:34:56.000 So it's not a case of actual ethnicity or race.
00:34:59.000 It has to do with the way in which you enter Australia.
00:35:02.000 And a lot of us are very much for come to the country legally.
00:35:06.000 Why would you come here on a boat?
00:35:08.000 We don't know who you are.
00:35:09.000 We have no concept of if you're a criminal or your background or anything like that.
00:35:13.000 So why would we let you in?
00:35:15.000 This is the thing I always ask is why would we let you in when we don't know who you are?
00:35:19.000 Yeah.
00:35:20.000 Well, the truth is that race doesn't matter, but culture does matter.
00:35:24.000 And look, if you're going to take in Middle Easterners, can we prefer Iraqi Christians?
00:35:30.000 They are getting literally crucified.
00:35:32.000 Children are getting crucified.
00:35:33.000 And by the way, children are getting crucified, literally crucified with the farmers in South Africa.
00:35:38.000 They've got that in common, remarkably sadistic violence.
00:35:42.000 But I would prefer Christian refugees from the Middle East than Islamic refugees because they don't assimilate.
00:35:50.000 Not only do they not assimilate, but Muslims, wildly disproportionately, obviously not all, but a large percentage of Muslims seem to have sort of an animosity to the West when they come in here.
00:36:02.000 They seem to want to set up fifth columns and Allah is above Australia in many ways.
00:36:09.000 Well, that's actually what they believe, though.
00:36:10.000 I mean, that's basically the general concept of the religion is Allah is before everybody else, you know, and Sharia law comes before the law of the actual land that you're in.
00:36:19.000 So I think that, I mean, our Muslim population currently, I think, is about 2.5%.
00:36:24.000 So it's not massive, but it's big enough that you start to see some changes.
00:36:28.000 So I know that, I mean, I've talked about this before, but we have all these racial councils.
00:36:34.000 We have new legislation coming in that specifically targets people from actually making comments about certain ethnicities and particularly actually about Muslims.
00:36:44.000 And it's really disconcerting because right now we're having our freedom of speech impacted upon because of the people entering this country.
00:36:52.000 And to me, that's just really wrong.
00:36:54.000 That just shouldn't be happening.
00:36:56.000 Yeah, and it's funny that that is happening in Canada and Britain too.
00:36:59.000 It's almost like it's a genetic trait where Westerners are so worried about being mean to people that they make it illegal to criticize them.
00:37:09.000 All right, we're running out of time here, but let's order immigrants.
00:37:14.000 I'll tell you my order, all right?
00:37:16.000 Top of the line, Western Christians.
00:37:18.000 I don't care what race they are.
00:37:20.000 They tend to be white mostly.
00:37:22.000 Number two, I like Indians.
00:37:25.000 Not Pakistanis, not the Muslims, but the Indians.
00:37:29.000 Their religion is silly.
00:37:30.000 It's like snakes playing the flute and there's a blue elephant and some giant, you know, donkey man and the blue kids on flying carpets.
00:37:39.000 That's cute.
00:37:39.000 And they start new businesses and stuff.
00:37:42.000 They don't take jobs.
00:37:44.000 They make jobs.
00:37:45.000 And this could be because they come from a Commonwealth, really, originally.
00:37:49.000 So they're used to cricket and tea and classical music.
00:37:53.000 So that's number two.
00:37:55.000 And then Chinese people don't hate us, but they don't assimilate.
00:38:01.000 They send their kids to Chinese schools.
00:38:03.000 They speak Chinese to each other.
00:38:04.000 They tend to not get patriotic.
00:38:06.000 And then last out of those four would be Muslims.
00:38:10.000 And the reason I'm not saying like Mexicans and stuff, because we're talking about Australia.
00:38:14.000 I think that's the order that you should pull them in.
00:38:17.000 What do you think?
00:38:18.000 Well, I mean, as someone who, because obviously the population of Chinese here is very, very large, I do find that they do assimilate quite well.
00:38:26.000 But like you said, they are kind of insular in a lot of ways.
00:38:29.000 But I would say between, I would say, it sounds so bad, but I would probably preference the Chinese a little bit more.
00:38:37.000 But that's only because they're just very, you know, they're not really looking to sort of impose a belief system on you.
00:38:44.000 And they're very, very relaxed.
00:38:45.000 They do walk in crowds, though, which can kind of get quite irritating in the city.
00:38:49.000 But besides that.
00:38:51.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:38:52.000 No, but besides that, I think they do assimilate.
00:38:55.000 It's interesting that so often the children of immigrants will assimilate Because the West is the best.
00:39:01.000 So they hear rock and roll, and they see girls in bikinis, and they see Budweiser, and they go, I like this culture more than my parents' boring culture.
00:39:09.000 But Muslims are one of the few where you're starting to see the children more radical than their parents, like the Sarnev brothers here in Boston.
00:39:18.000 Their parents are kind of secular, and they grew up lifting weights and listening to Van Halen.
00:39:23.000 And then the next thing you know, they want to blow up the marathon because they've been radicalized.
00:39:29.000 Yeah, it's true.
00:39:30.000 And I don't actually know why that is.
00:39:32.000 I wouldn't have, you know, I haven't looked into it.
00:39:34.000 I mean, even you see it in Australia.
00:39:34.000 But yeah, you're right.
00:39:36.000 You see these people whose parents have come here to work hard to sort of make a better life for themselves.
00:39:40.000 And their kids end up considerably more extreme and, like you said, more radicalized than their parents ever could have been.
00:39:47.000 And I don't know where that's coming from.
00:39:48.000 And I don't know why it's sort of being permeated.
00:39:50.000 I think it comes from the teachers and these Marxist teachers.
00:39:54.000 They sit there with the kids and they go, America sucks, America sucks, America sucks.
00:39:57.000 And then eventually the kids go, actually, I come from a country that burns the American flag.
00:40:02.000 Maybe I'll become more patriotic to Chechnya or Georgia or wherever the hell they were from.
00:40:07.000 And the next thing you know, they've become radicalized by teachers.
00:40:09.000 Would you say, last question, would you say that the public schools there in Australia are left-wing?
00:40:15.000 Do they talk about how you killed the Aboriginals and how it's a genocide and it's stolen land and all that crap?
00:40:22.000 Yes.
00:40:23.000 Obviously, it's been a while since I was in primary school.
00:40:26.000 But based on things that my friends who have children have told me and just sort of what I've seen and heard, yes, they're very, very left-wing.
00:40:34.000 And I think that, you know, part of the thing is too, because obviously we colonized Australia, there is this whole argument and children are now being sort of indoctrinated to believe that the white man, the early settlers, were, you know, these horrible racist people that came in and murdered all these poor Aboriginals.
00:40:50.000 And I just, it's just such an odd thing to teach little children who have no concept of what actually happened or, you know, what was behind it or anything like that.
00:40:58.000 So yeah, definitely.
00:41:00.000 And a lot of the things that get taught in schools really shouldn't be taught to little children.
00:41:04.000 You know, we're having a whole issue at the moment with this like safe schools program, which is totally different topic, but like I suppose the radicalized gender teachings.
00:41:14.000 And it's just, I just go, what kind of children are we going to turn out at the end of the day?
00:41:18.000 At least I got away from it.
00:41:20.000 We just watched a video in England where some drag queen gets up in a mini skirt and high-heeled shoes.
00:41:24.000 A man who looks like me, but in a mini skirt, talking about how if you want to feel sexy and you want to wear this, you should wear this.
00:41:31.000 Two children, like six-year-olds.
00:41:34.000 And I'm looking at that going, I don't want girls to see like a woman in a mini skirt and be told you can wear stilettos and be a dirty little slut.
00:41:44.000 Like they have boys in makeup before the age that girls can wear makeup for.
00:41:48.000 It's a bloody max.
00:41:51.000 Yep.
00:41:52.000 America is at least not, you guys aren't so bad.
00:41:55.000 I think we're sort of definitely leading the charge along with Britain.
00:41:58.000 We're definitely like really close behind them.
00:42:00.000 So I don't know.
00:42:01.000 You guys really have got to get a handle on it before you end up like us because it's not a nice place to be.
00:42:07.000 Well, as long as you can keep that watery border, there's still hope for Australia.
00:42:12.000 Yeah, sort of.
00:42:13.000 Maybe.
00:42:13.000 Maybe if we can get rid of the socialist governments that seem to have a stranglehold, then we'll be a little bit better off.
00:42:19.000 Who knows?
00:42:20.000 It's a pipe dream.
00:42:21.000 Well, let's keep checking in with you and mark the progress of that wonderful little island, the last bastion of masculinity in the Western world.
00:42:21.000 We'll see.
00:42:29.000 Your hope, yes.
00:42:30.000 Let's hope.
00:42:32.000 Bye.
00:42:33.000 See you, Gavin.
00:42:33.000 All right.
00:42:39.000 Good eye, Mike.
00:42:40.000 So that's the Australian episode.
00:42:43.000 Wow, I love Australia.
00:42:44.000 They got some.
00:42:45.000 Even the Sheilas got bows down here.
00:42:47.000 This is a, oh my God, I got to work on my Australian accent.
00:42:50.000 It sounds like a South African B. But look at this.
00:42:53.000 So some guy gives a headbutt.
00:42:56.000 Where are we, in Melbourne or something?
00:42:58.000 And a lady sees it and decides to lay him out flat.
00:43:01.000 This is how women handle their business in Australia.
00:43:05.000 Boom.
00:43:06.000 Terrible headbutt.
00:43:07.000 He got his chin.
00:43:08.000 You got to go for the nose.
00:43:09.000 And she rotates her hips and boom!
00:43:12.000 And he's out.
00:43:13.000 Holy f ⁇ .
00:43:18.000 There she is.
00:43:20.000 Excellent punch, ma'am.
00:43:21.000 And perfectly well-deserved.
00:43:23.000 If you headbut people, you got to get ready to get punched in the face.