Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - October 31, 2017


Get Off My Lawn #21 | Who Cares?


Episode Stats


Length

41 minutes

Words per minute

174.99603

Word count

7,344

Sentence count

691

Harmful content

Misogyny

30

sentences flagged

Hate speech

48

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

It's Halloween and we're celebrating the spookiest day of the year with a spooktacular mash-up of music and news. Featuring: The Who's new album Meaty Beatty, Big and Bouncy, and Boris the Spider.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:37.000 I just learned this weekend that that's a compilation album, Meaty Beatty, Big and Bouncy by the Who.
00:00:43.000 I went to a little hoo-hole on Saturday. 1.00
00:00:48.000 And I'm listening to that, I'm a boy, I'm a boy, but my mama won't admit it.
00:00:54.000 I'm a boy, I'm a boy, when I say I am, I get it.
00:00:59.000 And then I think, is Pete Townsend gay?
00:01:02.000 This is a trans song.
00:01:04.000 Remember when he went solo?
00:01:06.000 So the Who had that album, It's Hard, which just sounded like someone had just dialed it in.
00:01:11.000 It's like Pete went, I'll make you guys an album while I do my album.
00:01:15.000 So it had, his album was called like Hot Boys or something.
00:01:21.000 And it had a line, Hot Boys, out on the streets.
00:01:24.000 I want to suck and taste them.
00:01:27.000 You could just see yourself dancing like, hot boys, sort of.
00:01:30.000 And you want to what?
00:01:32.000 You want to suck and taste them?
00:01:36.000 And then the Who album that came out at the same time, it's hard.
00:01:40.000 How do these weird lyrics like, he got a snake the size of a sewer pipe living in his rib cage?
00:01:45.000 And I felt like a pickled priest who was being flumbaid.
00:01:49.000 You got me requisitioned, Blondie. 0.98
00:01:51.000 What are you talking about?
00:01:53.000 What is this, bad brains?
00:01:54.000 What is this?
00:01:55.000 Wu-Tang clan now?
00:01:58.000 So I looked it up, because remember there was that story that Pete Townsend was a pedophile and he was looking up kiddie porn.
00:02:04.000 But according to Wikipedia, which is often a very reliable source, he was on a porn site that may or they thought it might have said, click here for kitty porn, but it didn't say that, according to Wikipedia.
00:02:16.000 So it sounds like he was just a horny guy watching porn.
00:02:19.000 And if he'd follow this show using a time machine, he'd know, don't get involved in porn.
00:02:24.000 It's not good for you.
00:02:28.000 It's sort of like, remember there was a site called Rotten.com back in the 90s.
00:02:33.000 No, early 2000s, maybe?
00:02:35.000 Yeah, early 2000s.
00:02:36.000 And it was all like, you'd see someone getting decapitated and you'd see someone with a prolapsed anus and all this stuff that wasn't available on the rest of the web.
00:02:44.000 And you'd go, don't look at this, don't look at this, don't look at this.
00:02:46.000 It'd be like a kid getting hit by a car and you'd look at it and go, oh my God, why did I look at that?
00:02:51.000 It just wasn't natural for a person to see.
00:02:54.000 Same with porn.
00:02:55.000 It's not natural for a person to see that much fornicating.
00:02:59.000 And it's bad for your life.
00:03:00.000 Anyway, I chose that song, Boris the Spider, because it's a good Halloween jam.
00:03:04.000 And Halloween is here.
00:03:06.000 It's technically Tuesday.
00:03:09.000 But I find that most things going on in the news today and most of this show is never just the news.
00:03:18.000 You know, we're not a local station.
00:03:20.000 We don't say, there was a flood on 49th Street today.
00:03:23.000 We say, this is a thing that's going on and it's indicative of a much bigger pattern.
00:03:28.000 And the bigger pattern always seems to be busybodies telling us what to do because they've destroyed traditionalism and replaced it with farts.
00:03:38.000 And Halloween's a great example of that.
00:03:40.000 Halloween is a great tradition.
00:03:42.000 It predates Christianity. 0.94
00:03:44.000 It goes back thousands of years to pagan days.
00:03:46.000 And what's it about?
00:03:47.000 I'll tell you what it's about.
00:03:49.000 It's about cheating death.
00:03:50.000 You see, we all live in fear of death.
00:03:52.000 That's something that's bugging all of us at all times.
00:03:55.000 That's why we skitch off the road when we hear a car coming.
00:03:58.000 We all don't want to die.
00:03:59.000 That's why we wear a sunblock.
00:04:01.000 We're all trying not to die.
00:04:02.000 And that's why heroin is such a heavy drug.
00:04:06.000 Because it's a little rasputin on your shoulder and it goes, don't worry about it.
00:04:10.000 You can die.
00:04:11.000 You can die.
00:04:12.000 I'm not scared.
00:04:12.000 Who cares?
00:04:13.000 Are you scared?
00:04:14.000 And for the first time in your life, you go, wow, I'm not scared of dying.
00:04:17.000 And that's a very freeing feeling.
00:04:19.000 It's a very unnatural thing, like porn and death videos.
00:04:24.000 And people get addicted to that fearlessness.
00:04:27.000 That's why junkies dress so weird, too.
00:04:30.000 They'll have on a top hat and no shirt and overalls and one rubber boot.
00:04:34.000 And they can kind of carry it off because there's that confident.
00:04:37.000 And they end up dying, of course, because that little rasputin wins. 1.00
00:04:41.000 So I believe Halloween was originally formed to dress up like ghosts and say, let's take a day off from being scared of death all the time.
00:04:48.000 Let's be dead.
00:04:48.000 Ooh, I'm a spooky dead guy.
00:04:51.000 It's the same with Las Vegas.
00:04:53.000 You spend all year worrying about money, worrying about money.
00:04:56.000 You want to have two days where you allot yourself a loss and you go, I'm not scared of losing money.
00:05:02.000 And that's why people don't want to win in Vegas, by the way.
00:05:04.000 I saw this woman winning that little thing that pushes the coins over. 1.00
00:05:09.000 And she was furiously putting the money back in after she just won a big jackpot. 0.99
00:05:14.000 Because it's not about winning.
00:05:16.000 It's about losing and being okay with losing.
00:05:18.000 And Halloween's about dying and being okay with dying.
00:05:21.000 And over thousands of years, people got bored of always being a skeleton and always being a dead guy.
00:05:26.000 So they're like, I'm a hillbilly.
00:05:28.000 I'm a dead hillbilly.
00:05:30.000 Or I'm just a guy with a nice suit on and a top hat.
00:05:34.000 I used top hat twice in less than one minute.
00:05:38.000 That's not good entertaining.
00:05:41.000 And the fact that these guys are ruining it is a great litmus test of how far gone we are.
00:05:46.000 And that's what I'm going to focus on today.
00:05:48.000 I don't have any guests because I got too much to get through.
00:05:51.000 But I want to focus on how far we strayed from reality and how dogmatic these lunatics are.
00:05:58.000 I think, again, I'm kind of a good example of this.
00:06:01.000 I'm incredibly famous to a fault.
00:06:03.000 It sucks.
00:06:04.000 I walk down the street and people yell from their cars.
00:06:07.000 And four to five yell good stuff.
00:06:09.000 We love you.
00:06:10.000 Proud of your boy.
00:06:12.000 And I don't like that kind of adoration to, I love you.
00:06:15.000 Just like, right on, dude, but you're a god.
00:06:17.000 That kind of stuff.
00:06:18.000 I know I sound like a megalomaniac saying this, but this is how millennials talk.
00:06:21.000 There's no in-betweens for them.
00:06:23.000 So you're either human garbage or a god.
00:06:25.000 I don't like either of those things.
00:06:27.000 But I get four you're a gods for every you're a human garbage. 0.96
00:06:30.000 And no one seems to know why.
00:06:34.000 Like, no one, it's never based on something I've actually said or actually done.
00:06:38.000 And we'll get to that in a second.
00:06:39.000 But before we abandon Halloween, speaking of me, me, me, me, me, here's a cool costume.
00:06:45.000 He's me.
00:06:47.000 Is he the guy from Falling Down?
00:06:49.000 No.
00:06:50.000 No, he's me.
00:06:51.000 He's got a beard on and glasses, and then he's dressed like, so he's dressed like me, dressed like the Falling Down guy.
00:06:57.000 He got the briefcase and everything.
00:06:59.000 This, I hear, is in South Korea.
00:07:01.000 Oh, look, there's a black guy there.
00:07:03.000 South Korea of all places.
00:07:04.000 My brother lived there for a while.
00:07:05.000 He hated it.
00:07:07.000 Also in the news, I went to Anthony Kumia's Christmas party, and I've got pics.
00:07:16.000 Halloween is not, really partying for Halloween is for people who don't have kids.
00:07:21.000 I got kids, so I'm not going out to buy a big costume and get all involved.
00:07:25.000 So I just wrap myself in aluminum foil.
00:07:27.000 But here are some of the costumes for it.
00:07:29.000 I guess you're done with your parties.
00:07:30.000 You're grown-ups, right?
00:07:31.000 You're not going to dress up.
00:07:33.000 So this was Fred.
00:07:35.000 Fred grew up in an orphanage, Fred from Brooklyn, and this is his wife.
00:07:39.000 You know what he said to me once?
00:07:40.000 He said, he goes, I've been married for 50 years, and I would love to eat her out right now.
00:07:46.000 Because we were both talking about how much we love our wives.
00:07:49.000 You don't hear about that too often.
00:07:52.000 But there's plenty of us out there in Married Land who are very happy with the situation.
00:07:56.000 Whoops.
00:07:57.000 What did I just do?
00:07:58.000 Did I just trash a bunch?
00:08:01.000 Apple Z. Oh, Apple Z worked.
00:08:05.000 There's Anthony.
00:08:06.000 Neither of us had an outfit that afternoon.
00:08:09.000 And I just wrapped myself in tinfoil.
00:08:12.000 He just went to the store and bought this awesome costume.
00:08:15.000 It was probably like 50 bucks.
00:08:17.000 Look, it's got a helmet and everything.
00:08:19.000 That's the guys in the Star Wars who were doing the thing with the stuff.
00:08:23.000 Then there was Rick and Morty.
00:08:25.000 This is Big A, who stutters quite a bit.
00:08:31.000 I can't really tell if he's handicapped or not.
00:08:34.000 He's shy and he stutters a lot.
00:08:34.000 I don't know.
00:08:36.000 So we don't have a lot of conversation.
00:08:38.000 So he could have a normal IQ or be special.
00:08:42.000 There's Ron Burgundy, but that's Eric, what's his name from Fox News?
00:08:47.000 Tara Jacoway used to do the booking for Red Eye.
00:08:49.000 There's Bill Schultz.
00:08:51.000 The theme was science fiction, and Bill Schultz just dressed like a German guy.
00:08:56.000 And I go, how is that the future?
00:08:59.000 And he goes, I'm a guy in the year 2070 who did 23andMe and discovered that he's one-eighth German, which he didn't know.
00:09:09.000 And now he's obsessed with Liederhausen.
00:09:12.000 I go, that sounds very different from last year where I saw you dress like a German guy and you had to crowbar your stupid costume into that outfit. 0.98
00:09:20.000 Look at this costume, though.
00:09:22.000 Look at these shoes.
00:09:23.000 These shoes, by the way, this is Back to the Future guy.
00:09:26.000 These shoes lit up Marty Fly, Marty McFly.
00:09:30.000 And I go, are those shoes that go around your shoes?
00:09:32.000 He goes, no, these are shoes shoes.
00:09:34.000 So he's wearing shoes shoes, has a hoverboard and everything.
00:09:37.000 Didn't have the right face, though.
00:09:39.000 I don't know.
00:09:39.000 It didn't work.
00:09:40.000 This is funny.
00:09:41.000 So there's Anthony's brother, Joe, and his wife as cone heads. 1.00
00:09:45.000 This guy is, I guess, a Mexican.
00:09:47.000 I don't know what's going on there.
00:09:48.000 I should know that.
00:09:49.000 But this guy, Mike, shows up as the robot from Futurama, and he goes, God damn it, this is hot.
00:09:55.000 So he just took it off.
00:09:57.000 He took this off maybe eight minutes after getting to the party.
00:10:03.000 Then we had Dr. Spock, John Sereno, some guys who were some sort of guys.
00:10:10.000 Oh, this is Aunt's girlfriend was good. 1.00
00:10:13.000 She was David Bowie in Labyrinth, complete with the huge bulge.
00:10:17.000 I don't know if you've ever seen that movie, but David Latherin, David, David Labyrinth.
00:10:21.000 David Bowie plays a villain, and he's got a massive package in the front, and it's really distracting.
00:10:26.000 Even my kids, they go, I don't like his pants in that movie.
00:10:30.000 And there's Anthony's brother-in-law, always with the perfect costume.
00:10:34.000 Look at that thing. 0.92
00:10:36.000 He always looks exactly like the guy.
00:10:38.000 He was Dr. Johnny Fever last year.
00:10:41.000 And then there was, this is Anthony's wife, wife, Anthony's sister with Anthony's engineer.
00:10:48.000 I sound like I'm missing my old job, don't I?
00:10:50.000 Oh, how about this insane knockout?
00:10:53.000 This woman is my cup of tea.
00:10:55.000 She's got a 26-year-old.
00:10:58.000 She's my age.
00:11:00.000 Long, eight-foot-long legs.
00:11:03.000 I was kind of lurking on her all night, actually.
00:11:06.000 I was lurking on Dawn too, Anthony's sister, which isn't cool.
00:11:08.000 Anthony's sister's ass is so incredible that when I first saw it, I felt sorry for her because I thought, she's gone and had a butt, butt implant. 1.00
00:11:19.000 That's really sad.
00:11:20.000 What a piece of trash.
00:11:22.000 Anthony got some money and he bought his sister a butt implant.
00:11:25.000 It wasn't true.
00:11:26.000 That was her normal butt. 1.00
00:11:28.000 But you know your butt's good when people feel sorry for you because they think you had surgery.
00:11:33.000 This guy was funny.
00:11:35.000 This isn't a good picture of him, but he had a Wi-Fi helmet on and a bunch of Ethernet cables.
00:11:40.000 And he pretended that he misunderstood the theme of the party and thought it was Wi-Fi, not sci-fi.
00:11:46.000 And that was, you know how you have a joke when you're drunk and you do it to death?
00:11:50.000 And my joke was just screaming sci-fi, sci-fi, at him.
00:11:55.000 It's not funny at all.
00:11:56.000 But I was obsessed with it all night.
00:11:59.000 All right.
00:12:00.000 Well, there we've got Roger Strong.
00:12:01.000 We'll talk about him in a sec.
00:12:02.000 We got to discuss the front page of the Post, as is our wont.
00:12:06.000 Malia Takis for mayor.
00:12:08.000 Now, this is a Republican going for mayor of New York.
00:12:11.000 The odds of that happening are very low, but stranger things have happened, like Trump.
00:12:16.000 So I am backing this bitch. 1.00
00:12:18.000 She is cool and ballsy. 1.00
00:12:21.000 I saw her do a talk once, and she's had enough of de Blasio.
00:12:24.000 Let's remember, de Blasio was elected because of his son's hair.
00:12:32.000 His son did a current.
00:12:34.000 His wife's black. 0.90
00:12:36.000 Very unattractive woman. 1.00
00:12:37.000 I'd say she's a four. 0.98
00:12:40.000 And he's a tall, famous guy.
00:12:41.000 He could get anyone he wanted, and he went with a four.
00:12:43.000 She looks like a gremlin pre-sunlight. 0.99
00:12:46.000 Anyway, they made cute little mulatto kids. 1.00
00:12:49.000 And one of them is a boy, and he has a giant afro, because that's calling Kaepernick cool these days.
00:12:55.000 It means black power and stuff.
00:12:56.000 It's 70s.
00:12:58.000 Anyway, he does a commercial.
00:12:59.000 Maybe you Can dig this up, Dave.
00:13:01.000 He does a commercial where he talks about de Blasio, blah blah blah.
00:13:05.000 He wants this, he wants that, and the kid is looking very black in it. 1.00
00:13:09.000 And then at the end, he goes, Maybe I'm a little biased because he's my dad.
00:13:17.000 And then de Blasio's ratings went through the roof, and he won.
00:13:23.000 And he is so corrupt.
00:13:25.000 That's the look.
00:13:25.000 There he is.
00:13:27.000 This is why de Blasio is the mayor.
00:13:30.000 Isn't that amazing?
00:13:31.000 A hairdo got him elected.
00:13:33.000 Let's watch that just for a second to see how long we can take it.
00:13:37.000 I want to tell you a little bit about Bill de Blasio.
00:13:40.000 He's the only Democrat with the guts to really break from the Bloomberg years.
00:13:44.000 The only one who will raise taxes on the rich to fund early childhood and after-school programs.
00:13:49.000 He's got the boldest plan to build affordable housing, and he's the only one who will end a stop-and-frisk era that unfairly targets people of color.
00:13:57.000 That's it.
00:13:58.000 Bill de Blasio will be a mayor for every New Yorker.
00:14:00.000 There's 900 things wrong with that, just in those few sentences.
00:14:04.000 After-school programs, lunch programs, yeah, $7 million in debt we went on those.
00:14:09.000 And parents would just go, rich parents, me, my kids used to go to public school.
00:14:14.000 My wife would say, do you guys want to pack lunch or do you want to just get the lunch that's there?
00:14:18.000 It just became a thing of convenience.
00:14:21.000 Total ripoff, total farce.
00:14:23.000 Affordable housing.
00:14:25.000 Speaking of my kids, my daughter, we're driving through Harlem and there's a massive project that goes over the highway.
00:14:30.000 And my daughter goes, what's that?
00:14:31.000 I go, it's affordable housing.
00:14:33.000 And I said, oh, it's houses that are cheap so people can afford to live in New York City.
00:14:33.000 And she goes, what's that?
00:14:38.000 And she goes, why?
00:14:39.000 And I went, I don't know.
00:14:41.000 Why is that?
00:14:43.000 Why do we supply that?
00:14:44.000 I have no idea.
00:14:47.000 Like, why is it your right to live in Manhattan?
00:14:49.000 Is it your right to live in the Upper East Side?
00:14:52.000 In the Lower East Side, we got projects that overlook the river.
00:14:55.000 I mean, the property would be worth, each apartment would be worth $2 to $3 million.
00:14:59.000 But you live there for $700 a month because you deserve to be in Manhattan.
00:15:03.000 Why can't you commute?
00:15:06.000 You're on welfare, by the way.
00:15:07.000 It's not like you need to get to work.
00:15:10.000 And then, again, the thing about racist racial profiling, as Bloomberg pointed out, whites were actually stopped with stop and frisk more than they are proportionally represented in the local crimes.
00:15:24.000 So that was BS2.
00:15:26.000 Oh, I forgot two costumes, by the way, didn't I?
00:15:30.000 No, I forgot one costume.
00:15:31.000 This was an interesting costume, speaking of race.
00:15:34.000 It was two guys in whiteface.
00:15:36.000 Isn't it funny how you see a black guy wearing a shirt that fits him tucked in and his pants up and you think, that looks good. 1.00
00:15:43.000 And you realize, oh, you're making fun of me.
00:15:46.000 He's making fun of white people.
00:15:48.000 Whereas when I saw it, I went, hey, you look like a well-organized young black man who has a funny head, I guess, for Halloween, but the rest of you is normal. 0.99
00:15:56.000 No, no, that's a costume, Gav. 0.54
00:15:58.000 Oh, well, that's too bad, because you look great.
00:16:01.000 But they're also wearing MAGA hats.
00:16:03.000 And dude, you can't have your dreads like that in your face, silly.
00:16:06.000 At least put them in a ponytail.
00:16:08.000 This is a guy.
00:16:08.000 You're supposed to be a white guy?
00:16:10.000 Look at this guy's face.
00:16:12.000 How are you a white guy?
00:16:14.000 You have dreads in your face.
00:16:16.000 It looks like you're bleeding dreads.
00:16:20.000 No, that doesn't count.
00:16:22.000 But anyway, this is problematic.
00:16:24.000 It's racist, I guess, if we go by the rules.
00:16:27.000 It's also funny.
00:16:29.000 And I totally support that outfit.
00:16:32.000 Oh, I forgot to show my own costume.
00:16:34.000 I think I put it on Instagram.
00:16:34.000 Can you find that?
00:16:36.000 I just covered myself in tinfoil, which hurts like hell.
00:16:40.000 I mean, it's literally shrapnel.
00:16:43.000 So over the course of the night, the pieces in your inner elbow break and then they become sharp and they start ripping you to shreds.
00:16:49.000 I always give women crap for not wearing high-heel shoes because they're uncomfortable. 1.00
00:16:53.000 But there we are.
00:16:55.000 Most of the guys at Anthony's party bailed on their costumes.
00:17:00.000 He was the only one wearing one on halfway in.
00:17:04.000 All right, let's get to the news, shall we?
00:17:06.000 In the news, Roger Stone has been permanently banned from Twitter.
00:17:11.000 Our own Raj. 0.72
00:17:12.000 I think he's in New York now.
00:17:13.000 I got to meet him.
00:17:14.000 I'm going to go to Cernovich's doing a talk at Columbia.
00:17:17.000 I've got to Knights of Columbus meeting, and then I'm going to go there.
00:17:19.000 Does Roger Stone have hair plugs?
00:17:21.000 It's none of my business if he does.
00:17:24.000 Jim Goad does.
00:17:26.000 So why is he permanently banned?
00:17:28.000 Do you have what he said, Dave?
00:17:31.000 I think he was insulting Don Lemon.
00:17:37.000 He called him a cov sucker, which is not a swear word.
00:17:43.000 Stop lying about the Clintons and uranium, you ignorant lying Kovsg sucker, you fake news, you dumb piece of zzz. 1.00
00:17:50.000 So he didn't even swear.
00:17:51.000 I can say it on my show, what he wrote.
00:17:54.000 And by the way, if you want to get into people swearing, check out any liberal on Twitter talking about Trump.
00:18:03.000 And the uranium thing, by the way, so that's, we know that whole story, right?
00:18:06.000 It's incredibly complicated.
00:18:07.000 But a long time ago, Hillary Clinton was wooing this Eastern European guy in some stupid Russian communist, weird country where they look part Asian, like Kazakhstan or something. 0.80
00:18:24.000 And he has uranium.
00:18:27.000 Her Canadian miner friend wanted it, but he said no.
00:18:30.000 Then Bill Clinton did a talk for, I think, half a million, where he talked about how wonderful this despot is who owns the uranium soon after Hillary's friend got to mine uranium.
00:18:42.000 And now Russia has access to most of the uranium in the world.
00:18:49.000 I'm totally botching this story, but the point is that our enemies got too close to too much uranium.
00:18:54.000 And it was thanks to Hillary when she was foreign press secretary or whatever she was, foreign affairs lady, lady of the foreign affairs. 0.93
00:19:03.000 Here's something controversial to say as a right-winger.
00:19:06.000 I don't think it's that huge of a deal.
00:19:09.000 Of course it's a huge deal that she was doing pay-to-play.
00:19:12.000 But as far as the uranium threat goes, my understanding is most of the uranium used from nuclear weapons is recycled.
00:19:19.000 So you don't really need to mine uranium for nuclear weapons, is what I've heard from mining guys.
00:19:24.000 But the point is that the left is hiding the gossip.
00:19:29.000 And Roger Stone dared to bring that up with censored swear words and is banned.
00:19:35.000 Milo Giannopoulos, banned from Twitter.
00:19:37.000 Why?
00:19:38.000 Because someone that likes him pretended to be Leslie Jones and said a rude tweet about Milo.
00:19:47.000 For that, Leslie Jones goes, I didn't even say that.
00:19:50.000 Someone's hacking my account.
00:19:52.000 This isn't true.
00:19:53.000 Twitter, do something.
00:19:54.000 Milo's banned.
00:19:54.000 No problem.
00:19:55.000 And then the narrative becomes Milo was making fun of Leslie Jones and calling her a big fat black woman, which she is.
00:20:03.000 And so that's, you know, as Tommy Sotomayor says, black women are double protected. 1.00
00:20:09.000 But check out Keith Olbermann, by the way.
00:20:12.000 So Roger Stone is banned for daring to say cov sucker.
00:20:16.000 But how about a day without an effing gun massacre, you f ⁇ ing, oops, you effing fox whore? 1.00
00:20:33.000 He's funny.
00:20:35.000 I know people that know Keith Oberman.
00:20:37.000 Well, I did before I got dumped for Trump.
00:20:39.000 But back when I knew comedians and liberals and all those New York hipsters, sort of media people, they would hang out with Keith and tell me, actually, you guys are right on this one.
00:20:49.000 He's a effing nightmare.
00:20:52.000 He's brutal.
00:20:53.000 Do you have that Keith Oberman thing?
00:20:55.000 He was really good on Twitter.
00:20:57.000 I live in perpetual fear of being blocked by him.
00:21:00.000 I was following Sean King for a while, enjoying every minute of it.
00:21:03.000 Then he found out who I was and blocked me, and I missed out on so much comedy.
00:21:07.000 Tariq Nasheed, I'm blocked from.
00:21:10.000 There's so many great guys out there who are hilarious boobs and I'm blocked, especially women. 1.00
00:21:16.000 Feminists, they discover you fast. 1.00
00:21:18.000 Most feminists that have blocked me, I haven't even seen their Twitter yet. 1.00
00:21:21.000 But Oberman, I still got.
00:21:23.000 And wow, is he the gift that keeps giving?
00:21:25.000 What do we got here?
00:21:25.000 Oh, yeah.
00:21:26.000 Patriotic My Ass.
00:21:27.000 She's in violation of the U.S. flag code. 0.99
00:21:29.000 The flag should never be used as wearing apparel.
00:21:33.000 He's happy to use it as wearing apparel.
00:21:36.000 Oh, look at his face.
00:21:38.000 I think it would be fun to hang out with him.
00:21:41.000 I think he's so bad he's good.
00:21:43.000 It would be like the Perry Project, which you can look up on your own time.
00:21:46.000 Windy City Heat.
00:21:47.000 It's a quarter century long prank that Jimmy Kimmel's been funding that is hilarious.
00:21:52.000 But go back to the other picture.
00:21:54.000 I don't think this is a violation.
00:21:56.000 Can you go big on that pic?
00:21:58.000 She's, that's not the flag she's wearing. 0.97
00:22:03.000 The one arm is stars.
00:22:06.000 The other arm is stripes.
00:22:07.000 That's very close to the flag.
00:22:10.000 That's heavily influenced by the flag, but she's not wearing the U.S. flag.
00:22:14.000 She's wearing the same components of the U.S. flag on a fun outfit.
00:22:18.000 Tommy Lauren, by the way, doesn't do it for me.
00:22:22.000 I have, there's certain women, we should do a whole segment on this, but there's certain women who are incredibly hot. 1.00
00:22:28.000 Tommy Lauren is an 8.9, I'm going to say.
00:22:28.000 I'm not denying.
00:22:31.000 High eights.
00:22:33.000 And I'm not feeling anything.
00:22:36.000 Lady Gaga is another one, just not there. 0.82
00:22:39.000 I think as I get older, my taste gets weirder.
00:22:41.000 Like I showed you that 46-year-old woman at the Halloween party. 0.99
00:22:45.000 She was, I just consider perfection.
00:22:47.000 The laugh lines and the wrinkles, I love that.
00:22:50.000 And I'm not the only one.
00:22:53.000 You might say I'm a pervert.
00:22:59.000 But I'm not the only one.
00:23:04.000 I hope someday you'll join me in the nude.
00:23:09.000 Nude, diddly, nude.
00:23:10.000 Nude.
00:23:11.000 Nude men. 0.95
00:23:13.000 How naive do you have to be to think that you're sexy in the nude?
00:23:16.000 My wife, I've known her since 2001.
00:23:20.000 And I know that when she sees me nude, like walking out of the shower, or I'm a nude guy.
00:23:24.000 I just sleep in the nude.
00:23:24.000 I walk down the hallway in the nude.
00:23:26.000 I know that when I walk by her in the hallway, she's not like, well, hello.
00:23:32.000 I know it looks funny.
00:23:34.000 God was clearly making it clear that we're clearly not the fairer sex.
00:23:40.000 Have you seen a scrotum and a penis?
00:23:43.000 There's no way.
00:23:44.000 I mean, erect, you might have a point.
00:23:46.000 But just a dink hanging down there? 1.00
00:23:49.000 No woman on earth goes yes.
00:23:51.000 Meanwhile, a vagina, I mean any part of a woman, even fat woman. 1.00
00:23:56.000 Oh, can we jump ahead, speaking of fat woman? 0.99
00:23:59.000 No.
00:24:00.000 Should we?
00:24:01.000 No, we'll get to that.
00:24:02.000 We'll get to that.
00:24:03.000 I want to show you some of my types, but I'll lace it through.
00:24:06.000 We've got to stick to the news here.
00:24:08.000 Kevin Spacey came out as gay.
00:24:12.000 Am I dumb?
00:24:13.000 Who didn't know Kevin Spacey was gay?
00:24:16.000 Who else is going to come out?
00:24:17.000 Shep Smith?
00:24:19.000 Don Lemon?
00:24:20.000 Is Anderson Cooper?
00:24:21.000 Is Liberace gonna, are we gonna find out Liberace was gay? 0.87
00:24:26.000 Kevin Spacey was always gay. 1.00
00:24:28.000 He was out.
00:24:29.000 He was the outiest out ever.
00:24:32.000 But it brings up something important.
00:24:34.000 I shared a lot on my old show, but I don't think I've mentioned it on this show.
00:24:40.000 Guys, if you imagine Kevin Spacey's head floating above the bed during intercourse, it buys you an extra two to five minutes of time.
00:24:53.000 Now, I made this in Photoshop just before we started the show.
00:24:57.000 He's looking at an angle, so that's not exactly what I ask.
00:25:01.000 He should be looking straight at you.
00:25:03.000 Now, I tell this to a lot of guys, and they think I'm gay, or they think I have some sort of strong opinion on Kevin Spacey.
00:25:11.000 I feel nothing for Kevin Spacey.
00:25:13.000 Kevin Spacey and my dog are in the same boat.
00:25:17.000 I hope I wish them the best.
00:25:18.000 I don't care if they live or die.
00:25:20.000 If Kevin Spacey had his head blown off tomorrow, I would be reading the newspaper like, oh, geez.
00:25:26.000 I'd want to know where it happened because I'd go, that's a violent place.
00:25:28.000 Kevin Spacey can get his head blown off.
00:25:30.000 Who else could?
00:25:32.000 But I'm recommending you blow Kevin Spacey's head off if you're getting blown.
00:25:38.000 And I don't know what it is.
00:25:40.000 It's magic.
00:25:41.000 And I knew he was gay.
00:25:42.000 That wasn't part of it.
00:25:43.000 And it's better than baseball stats.
00:25:45.000 It's better than doing the alphabet backwards.
00:25:47.000 It's better than imagining your daughter naked, your dad naked being attacked by dogs.
00:25:54.000 Kevin Spacey's head floating out of the bed is a gift.
00:25:56.000 And I cannot explain it.
00:25:58.000 I just know it works.
00:25:58.000 And I want you to try it.
00:26:00.000 And I'll tell you what, the reason I harp on it so much is because guys come up to me after and they go, hey man, that Kevin Spacey thing, I don't know.
00:26:08.000 I've never even seen House of Cards.
00:26:10.000 He's not on my radar.
00:26:11.000 But I did it and two minutes, two minutes I bought.
00:26:20.000 Also in the news, everyone is talking about my donut.
00:26:25.000 Now, a long time ago, I said the alt-right and the alt-left are the same.
00:26:31.000 And I know they're at far ends of the spectrum, but if you were to take the political spectrum and bend it, then you would see the convalescent, is that the word I'm looking for?
00:26:45.000 With socialism, atheism, the JQ, which is, the JQ is the Jewish question. 0.96
00:26:52.000 The far right says, let's discuss the Jews.
00:26:54.000 It's like the elephant in the room to them.
00:26:57.000 The far left is far more open about it.
00:27:00.000 They don't say it's the elephant in the room.
00:27:02.000 They just scream at the elephant and say, Jews, Jews, Jews, Jews are everywhere.
00:27:05.000 Jews control everything. 1.00
00:27:06.000 You'll notice with the rest of the spectrum, Jews don't really come up much.
00:27:10.000 It's not a thing.
00:27:11.000 Like, you don't hear libertarians or liberals even or the alt-light or neocons.
00:27:17.000 Paleocons a little bit.
00:27:18.000 Black Lives Matter quite a bit, actually.
00:27:20.000 Socialists don't talk about it.
00:27:22.000 It sort of ramps up at either end, which is why I bent it into a donut, and we see that they are the same on those.
00:27:30.000 Talk to a liberal, talk to a school, and say, hi, we have Alan Dershowitz.
00:27:35.000 He's very pro-Israeli dude.
00:27:36.000 He's a Zionist, I guess you'd say.
00:27:38.000 I would call myself a Zionist.
00:27:40.000 He's a Zionist. 0.75
00:27:42.000 Can he speak here?
00:27:44.000 Hell to the no.
00:27:46.000 They are very pro-Hamas at schools now, pro-Palestine. 0.99
00:27:50.000 Then you go to the far, far right.
00:27:51.000 I think they would agree with Hamas too. 0.96
00:27:53.000 They would agree with Palestine. 0.98
00:27:54.000 They hate Israel and all Jews. 1.00
00:27:57.000 Actually, I think the far right understands Israel because they see it as an ethno-state, so they like it. 0.98
00:28:03.000 Although when I was there, I saw Muslims living there out the wazoo, including ones who worked in the Israeli parliament.
00:28:10.000 How insane is that?
00:28:12.000 The far right says Israel is too scared to have open borders.
00:28:15.000 They've got pretty open borders.
00:28:16.000 They're pretty diverse in that country.
00:28:19.000 To a fault, I would say.
00:28:21.000 Like when terrorists attack them, they will treat them medically.
00:28:26.000 Anyway, so Dershowitz went and he did a, he went to do a talk at a school.
00:28:32.000 This is the same guy.
00:28:34.000 Alan Dershowitz is a liberal.
00:28:36.000 I'm trying to get him on my show, but I don't know if he's ignoring me or not.
00:28:40.000 He's a liberal.
00:28:42.000 Now, he dared to say I'm a liberal who's pro-free speech, which is in their book, in the little liberal handbook.
00:28:48.000 It says pro-free speech.
00:28:49.000 It has a picture of Berkeley in 1960.
00:28:52.000 But they've changed their mind about free speech because Nazis also like it.
00:28:57.000 So what's good for the goose is not good for the gander.
00:28:59.000 The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and we now hate free speech.
00:29:02.000 But they had this sinister cartoon of him that I, as an ex-cartoonist, am very offended by because it's so badly drawn.
00:29:10.000 Do you have that cartoon?
00:29:11.000 What the hell?
00:29:12.000 So it has the liberal face, the liberal case for Israel.
00:29:17.000 No, his book is called The Case for Israel, by the way.
00:29:20.000 And it has him sticking his head out.
00:29:22.000 But then it has him also holding up the Israeli defense, what are they called, Federation?
00:29:29.000 Killing innocent Palestinians and stamping on Palestinians.
00:29:32.000 But look at the physics of his body.
00:29:34.000 Can you go full screen on that?
00:29:36.000 What the hell is happening with his feet?
00:29:40.000 I get his back.
00:29:41.000 I don't really get what's happening to his left arm.
00:29:44.000 Is he on top of someone?
00:29:46.000 That's not how physics works, kids.
00:29:49.000 If anything, this shows you how bad millennials are at trying stuff.
00:29:55.000 This is not a good drawing.
00:29:57.000 But anyway, Dershowitz goes, the far left is just like the far right.
00:30:03.000 Do you have that?
00:30:05.000 And you know, when I published my rough drawing of that fancy chart I showed you, Richard Spencer saw it and said, Gavin, just continue to be everyone's loving, beloved, aging hipster.
00:30:16.000 Stick to your pop culture stuff.
00:30:17.000 And I went, oh, that hurt my feelings.
00:30:19.000 I guess I am just a dumb clown.
00:30:21.000 And a month later, everyone's screaming what the G-Dog was screaming.
00:30:25.000 I'm sorry to be tooting my own horn so much, but I believe it deserves a little bit of a toot here.
00:30:32.000 So Dershowitz says, there is very little difference between the Nazis on the hard right and the anti-Semites on the hard left.
00:30:40.000 You're welcome, Al.
00:30:42.000 And then we go to Prager U. Prager U. Oh, do I have that video?
00:30:48.000 I can't.
00:30:48.000 No, I think you have it queued up.
00:30:50.000 Yeah, I have something else queued up.
00:30:52.000 Go to Prager U talking about the alt-right.
00:30:55.000 Alt-right means alternative.
00:30:58.000 The alt-right is an alternative to American conservatism.
00:31:02.000 So it's no surprise then that the alt-right has far more in common with the left, another alt-right.
00:31:07.000 Can you just pause it here?
00:31:08.000 Can I bring up a total tangent?
00:31:10.000 I was at a dinner party the other day and I was talking to my friend, Italian guy, and I said, I'm starting to wonder if the word is dead, if writing is dead.
00:31:19.000 I don't write my column anymore.
00:31:20.000 I'm going to have a website for this page and I guess I'll start writing again.
00:31:23.000 But he said, no, no, think about it.
00:31:27.000 You don't remember a video, you see, but when you read a book, when you read something, it sticks with you much longer.
00:31:32.000 I'm doing Count Dankula, Count Dracula.
00:31:36.000 And I thought, yeah, I guess that's true.
00:31:38.000 I guess the written word sticks with you longer, but I'm not positive.
00:31:42.000 And I'm looking at this, and my mind's wandering, and I'm thinking, kids today don't read.
00:31:47.000 They just watch spoon-fed videos.
00:31:49.000 And this is, Prager used wonderful, by the way.
00:31:51.000 So if you're going to be spoon-fed, make sure it's Prager.
00:31:54.000 But another part of me thinks, is that so bad?
00:31:58.000 Like the argument I used with my WAP friend was I was watching John Adams with Paul Giamatti, the HBO miniseries.
00:32:07.000 And as I'm watching it, I see the horse cart.
00:32:09.000 I see how much horse manure is on the cobblestone streets.
00:32:12.000 I see the woman's dress in the background, the way they dress then.
00:32:14.000 That's much more information than I would get from a book.
00:32:18.000 I know it's blasphemous to say, especially as a writer, but I can't help but think it's not a bad thing that Americans don't read.
00:32:30.000 Sorry, but this is a very easy way to digest information.
00:32:34.000 And how is it more valid?
00:32:35.000 How is it truer than the written word?
00:32:38.000 People publish anything.
00:32:39.000 I bet there's a thousand books that say Bush did 9-11.
00:32:42.000 So just because it's in a book doesn't mean it's more valid.
00:32:45.000 All right, what's he saying?
00:32:47.000 To conservatism than it does with the traditional American right.
00:32:51.000 Let me try to untangle this.
00:32:53.000 Both the left and the alt-right are obsessed with race and identity politics, the belief that a person's value is linked to their racial heritage.
00:33:01.000 The left wants special status for racial and ethnic minorities.
00:33:05.000 The alt-right wants special status for the racial and ethnic majority.
00:33:08.000 Since America, according to the alt-right, was founded by white Europeans...
00:33:16.000 I think that's pretty un-American. 0.56
00:33:19.000 Both cases.
00:33:20.000 America is meant to be a meritocracy.
00:33:24.000 If you're good at it, you can do it.
00:33:26.000 Come on in.
00:33:27.000 Look at me.
00:33:28.000 Back to me.
00:33:29.000 Always back to Gav. 0.97
00:33:30.000 I've had my career flush down the toilet a dozen times, and I just start a new career because I'm a hard worker.
00:33:37.000 And America rewards hard workers.
00:33:39.000 I don't care what they're doing.
00:33:40.000 What if you're sweeping a bodega, Gavin?
00:33:43.000 Yeah, keep sweeping that bodega. 0.99
00:33:44.000 Come up with some ideas for the manager of the bodega.
00:33:47.000 Eventually he'll say, can you help me out with this new one?
00:33:49.000 Next thing you know, he's opening a third one in the Bronx, and he says, if you open it for me as you beautifully open and close this bodega every day and I never have to worry about it, then I'll give you sweat equity.
00:33:58.000 I'll give you 10%.
00:34:00.000 Next thing you know, you got 20% of the next one, 30% of the next one.
00:34:03.000 Next thing you know, you're half owner in about five bodegas.
00:34:09.000 Making $100,000 a year in 10 years.
00:34:12.000 All right, let's get to some goss. 0.65
00:34:14.000 My buddy Jesse Keiller from the band Death from Above 1979, my old Vice Records label discovered him.
00:34:23.000 He has disavowed me as a racist, alt-right, whatever, radical.
00:34:27.000 He never said racist, but how quick we are to capitulate with any kind of controversy.
00:34:33.000 Now, to go back 10 steps, my record label, Vice Records, discovered them, but I can't take credit for that.
00:34:40.000 I had nothing to do with Vice Records.
00:34:41.000 I have bad taste in music.
00:34:42.000 Sarush Alvi, the guy I started Vice with, the guy had a gift.
00:34:46.000 I mean, he would listen to an album or hear a band and go, these guys are going places.
00:34:50.000 And inevitably, a year later, they'd be huge.
00:34:53.000 Block Party, The Streets, DFA 1979.
00:34:56.000 I think DFA 1979 was a CD, a demo we got, and it was picked out of the garbage.
00:35:02.000 And this guy that Sarush hired said, listen to this.
00:35:05.000 And they signed them.
00:35:06.000 They became big.
00:35:07.000 Jesse and I went to Japan together, partied, became pals.
00:35:13.000 And Jesse's right wing.
00:35:15.000 Sorry, I don't think I'm selling him out.
00:35:17.000 He's been on my show a bunch of times.
00:35:19.000 He's a gun guy, obsessed with guns, camo.
00:35:21.000 He loves to hunt.
00:35:22.000 He's a survivalist for crying out loud.
00:35:25.000 And he's an Indian.
00:35:26.000 He doesn't look it, but he's half Indian.
00:35:28.000 And the thing about Indians is they like me.
00:35:31.000 They like conservatives for two reasons.
00:35:33.000 One, they're big on the family.
00:35:35.000 Because every time you're with an Indian, his mother's always like, what is going on, Rajiv? 0.57
00:35:40.000 Please, are you going to settle down?
00:35:42.000 And that's good.
00:35:43.000 I wish they would do that.
00:35:44.000 America, the West could do with a big dose of a nagging mother constantly insisting they settle down and try out having a family. 1.00
00:35:52.000 Oh, please, buddy.
00:35:54.000 Don't be an off-duty, buddy.
00:35:56.000 So they have that.
00:35:57.000 And then also Muslims.
00:35:59.000 You have to understand, there was a civil war in India with Muslims.
00:36:03.000 They separated the entire country. 0.89
00:36:06.000 Britain said, hey, Pakistan, we're calling you Pakistan. 0.96
00:36:10.000 And then everyone, all the Muslims go north, and all the Hindus go south and just stop fighting. 0.83
00:36:15.000 Agreed?
00:36:16.000 F that buddy.
00:36:18.000 So as the Muslims were going north, the Hindus were slaughtering them on the trains.
00:36:24.000 Because as the Hindus were going south, the Muslims were slaughtering them on the trains. 1.00
00:36:28.000 To the tune of millions, I believe.
00:36:31.000 And so that's a deep-seated animosity.
00:36:33.000 Because if you want to know someone who's Islamophobic, talk to people who live next to them.
00:36:38.000 And lots of Muslims refuse to go to Pakistan.
00:36:41.000 So India has more Muslims than any place in the world, I believe.
00:36:45.000 And that means, that makes for a tough time.
00:36:47.000 It's weird having Kevin Spacey's face there in the background.
00:36:50.000 Let me just have Twitter in the background.
00:36:53.000 So anyway, this guy writes an article a million years ago, I think it was last year, about how Jesse is a racist because he knows me and he's alt-right.
00:37:04.000 I'm not alt-right.
00:37:06.000 And so he should apologize.
00:37:09.000 And Kurt Schwitters, click on his name there.
00:37:16.000 This is all he's ever written.
00:37:18.000 Scroll down.
00:37:19.000 He's got one article to his name.
00:37:21.000 And remember, Medium isn't a website.
00:37:23.000 It's more like a blog, Twitter.
00:37:25.000 Anyone can post there.
00:37:26.000 It's just a place to barf out your garbage.
00:37:28.000 There's no checks and balances.
00:37:29.000 So some guy barfs out an article.
00:37:31.000 I believe it was a year ago.
00:37:33.000 Jesse starts freaking out.
00:37:34.000 And it was, the whole impetus war was appearing on my old show.
00:37:38.000 And also, I called him a proud boy.
00:37:40.000 But this is back before the proud boys were a thing, and it just meant a guy who likes America and guns and stuff and isn't a liberal.
00:37:47.000 It meant non-liberal, which today is a sin.
00:37:50.000 Now, these kids, these millennials, they are calling for a boycott of his shows.
00:37:57.000 And when I first heard that, I thought, wow, that's a pretty thorough lifestyle you lead.
00:38:03.000 Every time I go see a show, I agree with all of the politics of all of the band members and that of all of their friends.
00:38:13.000 I'm perfect.
00:38:16.000 Like, isn't that kind of demanding?
00:38:18.000 Every band you see, you have to agree with all of the members' friends' politics.
00:38:24.000 And they probably would if I could sit them down or get them on the show.
00:38:28.000 But anyway, this article goes on to say that I'm evil and I'm bad.
00:38:32.000 And scroll down.
00:38:33.000 There's one really strange part here.
00:38:37.000 Jesse dared to be with us on Election Day.
00:38:40.000 Ooh, gross.
00:38:42.000 Keep going.
00:38:44.000 Keep going.
00:38:46.000 Oh yeah, look at this picture.
00:38:48.000 So I'm wearing a screwdriver shirt, which is a Nazi band. 0.88
00:38:52.000 And that means I'm a racist, and I have a white power tattoo, it says.
00:38:58.000 Now, that shirt I'm wearing was in an interview with Momus, who is a Scottish electronic music performer that I love to mess with because when I thought he was Scottish, I first met him.
00:39:09.000 I was like, oh, Scots are very bombastic. 1.00
00:39:11.000 And I thought we're going to be wedging people and smashing windows and fighting.
00:39:14.000 But he's so unbelievably timid.
00:39:16.000 Hello, I'm Momus, and he has an English accent because he never really lived in Scotland.
00:39:21.000 So I love antagonizing him with shirts like that.
00:39:24.000 But even the shirt, I believe, is perfectly safe because it has a Robert Crumb drawing that parodies racism.
00:39:31.000 And just to make crystal clear, there's no hard feelings, I'm wearing a Michael Jackson pin on the same shirt.
00:39:36.000 And just to be triple sure, I'm in Tokyo.
00:39:40.000 We are in Tokyo at that point.
00:39:42.000 So I show up in my white jeans, that ridiculous costume, and mommy goes, oh my lord, what are you doing, Kaffin? 0.99
00:39:50.000 And I'm making fun of him.
00:39:52.000 So that's that explained.
00:39:53.000 And again, they want us to sit here and explain stuff because it's us chasing our tail in a circle.
00:40:00.000 And it's ironic that I'm sitting here explaining that while discussing Jesse chasing his own tail.
00:40:05.000 But I'm not sitting here apologizing for that.
00:40:06.000 I'm just telling you how mental they are.
00:40:08.000 And it gets more mental when you get to the tattoo.
00:40:10.000 The tattoo they're talking about, I learned later, is this here.
00:40:16.000 I've got blue fists holding lightning bolts.
00:40:18.000 Now, this is back when I was an early 20-something.
00:40:21.000 And my tattoos from back then are brutal, brutal.
00:40:25.000 Look at this.
00:40:26.000 Feminism with an E in it for equality. 0.99
00:40:29.000 That's a woman's symbol. 1.00
00:40:31.000 Crass, peace.
00:40:33.000 I've got anarchy up here.
00:40:35.000 And I've got, wait, peace, love.
00:40:39.000 I forgot.
00:40:39.000 I've forgotten what my tattoos are.
00:40:41.000 Oh yeah, vegetarianism.
00:40:42.000 I've got a bullhorn to mean vegetarianism.
00:40:45.000 And then here it says in Arabic, arm your desires with an AK-47.
00:40:49.000 You see, back in the early 90s, Palestinian, like, you didn't know what a Palestinian was.
00:40:55.000 You just saw guys with kafias and AKs and you thought, you're a revolutionary.
00:40:58.000 Go arm your desires, man.
00:41:00.000 You could argue it was an anti-Israeli tattoo if I'd thought about it that much.
00:41:04.000 But apparently, Screwdriver had a newsletter once that had a guy holding a lightning bolt, so this must be a white power tattoo.
00:41:10.000 A white power tattoo surrounded with Arabic writing and feminism and crass and all this other crap. 0.97
00:41:18.000 This is what I mean when I say it's not fake news.
00:41:21.000 It's mentally ill news. 0.63
00:41:23.000 You have Nazi glasses.
00:41:25.000 You have a myopic obsession.
00:41:30.000 That's it, folks.
00:41:31.000 Boy, time flies on Mondays.
00:41:32.000 That's why I don't have guests because there's too much to get out, too much news.
00:41:36.000 I haven't seen you in three days.
00:41:39.000 I only got to half of my Jesse Keillor friends stabbing you in the back biopic.
00:41:44.000 I'll get to the second half tomorrow.
00:41:45.000 I'll have guests.
00:41:46.000 I think I got Terry Shepard on.
00:41:48.000 I'm not sure.
00:41:49.000 Remember, folks, the best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.