Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 07, 2018


Get Off My Lawn #30 | How To Be a Man.

Topics
being a boy as disease spring training
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Adderall Superman Dude Paul Joseph Watson Charlie Chaplin Peter Brimelow Clint Eastwood Steve Bannon Keystone Cop Ann Coulter Alex Jones John Lott Sebastian Dadderall Breitbart Metheads Meathead McGregor Kennedy Ritalin and 6 more
Get Off My Lawn #92 | Trump Up in Arms Get Off My Lawn #93 | Ladies’ Night

Episode Stats


Length

30 minutes

Words per minute

173.18

Word count

5,308

Sentence count

501

Harmful content

Misogyny

50

sentences flagged

Toxicity

146

sentences flagged

Hate speech

41

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

How do you become a man? How to be a basic man? What is basic manhood? How do you get down to a bare minimum of dudeness? How can you be a man if you don t have nice big tits? How about nice little tits? A man should not have big tits if he wants to get laid, but a woman should have nice tits if she wants to have a nice big dick. That's the bare minimum a man should have, and that's a good bare minimum to be. And that's what we'll call Basic manhood. I think that's the lowest you can be, and it's the best place to be, because it's a place where you can do the bare bare minimum you need to be in order to be considered a man. I don't know, but it's probably not as bad as you think it is, because I think it's pretty basic, and I think you should be able to be basic, too. I'll tell you what, basic menhood can be a good place to start, because you can't get much more basic than that. I mean, let's be basic men, shall we? You can be basic. You're not going to get much better than that, right? You don't have to be better than a man who's not a guy who's good at golf, but you can try to be good at it? I'll let you know what a man is a man, and you should do what you're good at, and a man can do, and then you'll be a better man than that you're not a man that's good enough to do it, right there, right here in front of your house, right in the front yard of your driveway? That's a man with tits, right where you're at it. And you can have a good basic man, right at home in your driveway, right next to your house? Can you do that, baby? or at least a man you're a man in a nice little cup of dildo? Let's be a guy? We'll talk about that, okay? -- -- I'll see you in a minute. -- this is a guy with tits? -- I'm not a pussy? -- -- a woman with good tits, but they don't need them? -- is that a good man? -- let's talk about tits?

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:01.000 How to be a man.
00:00:04.000 How do you become a man? 1.00
00:00:09.000 I'm actually kind of a pussy. 0.99
00:00:13.000 But in the grand scheme of things, in today's day and age, when I talk about how to be a man, I end up with some salient advice to these young millennials, because they've been so severely castrated, that when I say, get punched in the face once, 0.99
00:00:31.000 It's Conan the Barbarian. 0.99
00:00:33.000 I'm Chuck Norris to young millennials, and I'm a pussy. 0.99
00:00:37.000 In fact, I'm on a golf course right now, walking with my bare feet like Chevy Chase in Caddyshack, and the grass is kind of coarse, and it hurts my delicate tootsies. 0.99
00:00:48.000 My tootsies are so delicate that my wife doesn't like it when they rub on her leg in bed, because it feels like a woman's foot. 1.00
00:00:58.000 And that's not attractive to her, to feel a perfectly smooth baby foot on her leg. 0.92
00:01:05.000 I also notice this with men.
00:01:06.000 When I shake hands, they feel my delicate talcum-ex, delicate paws.
00:01:13.000 And they go, this person's never worked a day in his life. 1.00
00:01:16.000 He's sub fag. 1.00
00:01:18.000 I mean, at least gays have worked. 0.99
00:01:20.000 So I'm looking at guys in golf carts and I'm thinking, these guys are about the same man level as me.
00:01:30.000 These middle class, slightly pudgy, you know, upper middle class guys in golf carts playing golf.
00:01:36.000 We're about the same.
00:01:40.000 And that's a good bare minimum to be.
00:01:42.000 In fact, golf is a good way to gauge how much of a man you are.
00:01:47.000 We're not saying that you have to go out and kill your dinner, although that's obviously awesome.
00:01:53.000 We're just saying you should be able to play golf.
00:01:56.000 And the fact that everyone's mad at Trump for playing golf shows how few people play golf.
00:02:01.000 Golf is a giant business meeting.
00:02:04.000 You know, it's boring to sit at a conference table and go over it, especially because so many women are there. 1.00
00:02:10.000 Uh-oh, something just jumped through the bushes.
00:02:13.000 So many women are there, and other affirmative action hires, and you have to go hear their terrible ideas, but the beauty of a golf course is it kind of weeds out the people who aren't meant to be there, I'm sorry to say, and you get the job. 0.71
00:02:25.000 It's amazing how much work gets done.
00:02:27.000 Everyone says, oh, and I, you know, I'll give Obama credit for this, although I'm Obamaist, so...
00:02:33.000 I have trouble thinking that he got as much done as Trump probably gets done on the golf course, but you get stuff done on the golf course.
00:02:40.000 When I had my ad agency, me and Sebastian, we would, and by the way, we suck, so we would buy like a box of golf balls, and the second a ball went anywhere we didn't like, we said, goodbye, buddy.
00:02:52.000 It was sort of like young boys in modern education. 0.82
00:02:56.000 We just said, goodbye, balls, and we let them go.
00:03:01.000 We would go through a box, a box of balls, and a good 10 beers, and then we would get a great client like we got Nivea. 0.90
00:03:09.000 Men's Nivea cream.
00:03:11.000 That's a thing. 0.99
00:03:12.000 I guess it must be gays, right? 1.00
00:03:14.000 Who cares about their skin? 1.00
00:03:16.000 I have AIDS on my face right now.
00:03:17.000 I think I have a herpetic sore on my nose. 0.99
00:03:19.000 I don't give a shit. 0.99
00:03:20.000 What am I gonna not get laid? 0.99
00:03:24.000 My wife just faces the other way. 0.99
00:03:26.000 She doesn't have to see this.
00:03:29.000 But uh...
00:03:32.000 What I want to say in this podcast, this particular episode, is can we get down to a bare minimum of dudeness, please?
00:03:39.000 I was just at the Mets game.
00:03:40.000 We're here in Florida, part St.
00:03:42.000 Lucie.
00:03:42.000 We're on a golf course.
00:03:44.000 And I'm looking at the rake for the sand trap out my back window.
00:03:47.000 I could go grab it right now.
00:03:50.000 There's probably going to be a bunch of dudes in golf carts drive by. 1.00
00:03:53.000 Not pussies. 0.99
00:03:55.000 Basic men. 1.00
00:03:56.000 That's what we'll call... I know the gays call, like, you're so basic. 1.00
00:04:01.000 I know gays think basic is, like, the lowest you can be. 1.00
00:04:06.000 I think that's a good place to be. 0.66
00:04:08.000 Let's get down to basic manhood.
00:04:11.000 I saw this guy at the Mets game, and this is... I'm seeing this a lot these days, and he had pretty good tits. 1.00
00:04:19.000 You know, I've dated girls with tits that he had. 1.00
00:04:22.000 Especially in my younger days. 0.99
00:04:24.000 And reasonable tits! 1.00
00:04:26.000 A man should not have reasonable tits. 1.00
00:04:30.000 A man should not have a petite woman's okay breasts. 1.00
00:04:35.000 Like they look like these sad sort of ferret heads. 1.00
00:04:38.000 These sort of tumultuous, turgid, dead pigeon fetuses.
00:04:45.000 Just sort of coming out of their chest with their little soft, beige areolas. 0.90
00:04:52.000 What kind of tit do you have? 0.99
00:04:53.000 You have a weird, a weird preemie possum's boobie sticking out of your chest. 0.99
00:05:02.000 That's not a good look. 0.93
00:05:03.000 You don't want a little mammal hanging off your chest. 1.00
00:05:07.000 No, you don't need gay pecs either. 0.99
00:05:09.000 I don't think women even like six packs. 1.00
00:05:12.000 Only gays like six-packs. 1.00
00:05:13.000 And ladies, stop it with the Lululemons working out. 1.00
00:05:17.000 We don't want to go down on you.
00:05:18.000 And by we, I mean 50% of the population.
00:05:21.000 And look up and see a six-pack.
00:05:24.000 We want to see like a little gunt. 0.71
00:05:26.000 We want to see some some Pillsbury Doe there. 1.00
00:05:31.000 But if I had boobies, I would say, okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. 0.96
00:05:36.000 We gotta get a bench press. 0.99
00:05:38.000 We gotta
00:05:39.000 You know what?
00:05:40.000 We've got to get steroids. 0.98
00:05:41.000 I'm actually considering taking steroids.
00:05:44.000 I said this to Kennedy of Fox Business News fame, and she goes, that's not so crazy.
00:05:51.000 She goes, a little dose, it's good for your joints.
00:05:55.000 It's like Peter Brimelow read an article about smoking that Ann Coulter turned me on to, and he said, the article said smoking is good for you.
00:06:04.000 And he said, if there was a smoker who was a pilot, would you rather get on the plane before he had a cigarette or after he had had a cigarette?
00:06:13.000 Yes, cigarettes can kill you.
00:06:15.000 Yes, they can cause lung cancer.
00:06:17.000 Cars can kill you, but they get you from A to B. And that's funny.
00:06:22.000 The golfers that I was talking about turned out to be women. 1.00
00:06:26.000 But I'll still take them over most of these millennial beta males. 0.95
00:06:31.000 Some woman in her little ugly shorts and her short socks, her red hair, and her sunscreen. 0.94
00:06:37.000 She's ballier than most millennials. 1.00
00:06:42.000 But, uh...
00:06:44.000 It's counterintuitive thinking that we have to be capable of.
00:06:47.000 In fact, I was talking to David about this, my producer, and he was saying, I can't remember what we were arguing about, but he goes, well, it's just logical that it should be that.
00:06:57.000 And I go, yeah, that doesn't, that doesn't sail anymore.
00:07:02.000 You know, John Lott taught us that more guns equal less crime.
00:07:05.000 That's not logical.
00:07:07.000 Hi, how are you?
00:07:10.000 We have to be capable of counterintuitive thinking and be open to the possibility that our assumptions are wrong.
00:07:18.000 So, sorry, that's a tangent to say maybe you should take steroids a little tiny bit. 0.99
00:07:22.000 I might get an ejection in my butt! 0.99
00:07:24.000 And get a bench press. 0.99
00:07:26.000 I definitely would do that if I was growing boobies. 1.00
00:07:29.000 And I believe, as a gender, the American male is growing boobies literally and figuratively.
00:07:37.000 I've probably mentioned this before, but you know what's going on with kids now?
00:07:40.000 And this is in my kid's school.
00:07:42.000 I'm not talking about, you know, some weird Scientology camp.
00:07:47.000 But kids now,
00:07:50.000 are doing this thing where the teachers, the Marxist teachers, brainwashed by their unions, they have free reign to teach whatever claptrap they want because they can't get fired.
00:08:01.000 In fact, getting a teacher fired is a job.
00:08:04.000 If you, say you have a teacher in your school who shows up late every day and you want to get her fired because she's not even there for the children, literally not there.
00:08:15.000 As a principal, you're taking on a new job.
00:08:21.000 So, these guys are spoiled, and they tend to be Marxists, and they tend to not like, the women tend not to like young boys running around being rambunctious. 0.84
00:08:29.000 So, in the New York suburbs, and the New York public schools, New York public schools in general, they say, okay, your kid's jumping around, bouncing around, he's almost like, he's some sort of a boy.
00:08:43.000 It's almost like he wants to play a game called Cops and Robbers.
00:08:46.000 It's almost like he thinks wedgies are funny and likes making fart jokes. 1.00
00:08:50.000 I don't know what to do.
00:08:52.000 Well, we can't have that.
00:08:53.000 So what we do is we say, I need him to go to a child psychiatrist or a school psychiatrist who's not even a real psychiatrist.
00:09:03.000 A buddy of mine was told that they wanted his kid to go to the school psychiatrist.
00:09:09.000 And he said, does he have to?
00:09:10.000 Is this part of his curriculum?
00:09:11.000 No, no, no.
00:09:11.000 We just advise it.
00:09:12.000 And he goes,
00:09:12.000 Yeah, no.
00:09:13.000 No, he's not doing that.
00:09:15.000 He's not going to your kangaroo court.
00:09:16.000 Thank you.
00:09:18.000 But these real courts say, all right, let's have your kid analyze.
00:09:22.000 Your boy.
00:09:23.000 You don't hear about girls doing this. 1.00
00:09:24.000 Your boy.
00:09:25.000 Let's take him to a child psychiatrist and he has a problem.
00:09:29.000 He's too rambunctious.
00:09:30.000 He's too hyper.
00:09:32.000 So then the analyst, so why would you do that?
00:09:36.000 If he's diagnosed with ADD, then he's not academically penalized.
00:09:43.000 For being so rambunctious.
00:09:45.000 So what they do, by the way, I love this.
00:09:46.000 This is my new way to do podcasts.
00:09:48.000 You walk around with your headphones, recording it into recorder.
00:09:51.000 I'm looking at the most beautiful lawn, speaking to get off my lawn, the most beautiful lawns on earth.
00:09:57.000 Perfectly combed sand traps.
00:09:59.000 I'm right next to the seventh tee.
00:10:02.000 Occasionally some attractive, you know, geriatric walks by, walking her Havanese puppy.
00:10:08.000 This is pastoral.
00:10:09.000 I like Florida.
00:10:10.000 Ow! 1.00
00:10:11.000 Something just bit me right as I said that.
00:10:14.000 A weird fire ant.
00:10:21.000 Okay, maybe it's not that perfect.
00:10:24.000 So they go to the child psychiatrist and he says, yes, your son has ADD, right?
00:10:31.000 And then they go, okay, well, what should we do about that?
00:10:35.000 Well, what we have to do is he should go on medication.
00:10:40.000 So you go back to your teacher and you say, great news.
00:10:44.000 My son isn't a bad boy.
00:10:45.000 He has a disease called ADD.
00:10:48.000 Oh, okay.
00:10:49.000 Well, then I'm not going to penalize you.
00:10:51.000 OK, great.
00:10:52.000 So we're good now.
00:10:53.000 So now we've made being a boy into a disease. 0.99
00:10:57.000 And this, by the way, links to that guy I saw today with his tits. 1.00
00:11:01.000 So now being a boy is a disease. 1.00
00:11:03.000 OK.
00:11:03.000 And what should we do about that?
00:11:04.000 Well, then the child psychiatrist, who has an incentive, a monetary incentive to prescribe drugs, he goes, well, he should be on Adderall or Ritalin.
00:11:16.000 Now, I did a lot of Adderall when I had an ad agency.
00:11:21.000 We used to call it Dadderall, because you could do a hard day's work and come home and be an awesome dad.
00:11:25.000 And, like, say, let's have arts and crafts night, guys!
00:11:28.000 We're gonna make a paper mache Mr. Metheads! 1.00
00:11:31.000 Woo! 0.99
00:11:32.000 Because you're not tired.
00:11:33.000 Even though you're old, you're not tired.
00:11:35.000 Of course, when it's finally time to go to bed, it's like you've been hit in the head with an anvil.
00:11:40.000 You just go, poof! 0.98
00:11:41.000 And hit the Tempurpedic.
00:11:44.000 The Bobpurpedic.
00:11:45.000 But, um,
00:11:50.000 They give these kids Adderall and Ritalin because they've diagnosed masculinity as a disease, and Adderall's a wild ride!
00:12:00.000 Like, I remember when I had my ad agency, I'd have half of a 20 milligram, so it was a 10 milligram half pill.
00:12:06.000 I'd take that, got it from a corrupt doctor on Park Avenue, then have a large coffee, and I would just go over to the co-founders of the company, and I'd put my lips by their ears and go, 0.97
00:12:17.000 I am fucking high out of my mind. 0.96
00:12:20.000 And then I would proceed to send approximately 7,000 emails. 0.96
00:12:26.000 Like, it would start out on the keyboard going... And then the pounding of the keyboard would get to a frequency, so it would go like...
00:12:44.000 My fingers were going so fast you just heard I believe it was a G flat and then champagne glasses would start shattering.
00:12:53.000 By the way, the guy in the hotel next to us is one of the people who works, god damn that ant bite hurt, is one of the guys who works at the, he works at the Mets at Citi Field, and he's hung his uniform out to dry on the back porch.
00:13:12.000 I could just slink in there, grab that shirt, and have full access to the Yankees-Mets game tomorrow.
00:13:21.000 Anyway.
00:13:23.000 The idea of a kid being on Adderall, which is speed, is child abuse.
00:13:27.000 Pure and simple.
00:13:28.000 And it's directed at boys because we have a war on masculinity and these teachers, these unionized Marxist teachers, have an axe to grind.
00:13:38.000 They're like over-empowered chicks and they're angry. 1.00
00:13:41.000 And they make these beta males.
00:13:43.000 They make these boys who hate themselves.
00:13:45.000 And these boys who hate themselves grow up to men who hate themselves. 1.00
00:13:48.000 And these men who hate themselves grow up to dads with tits. 1.00
00:13:52.000 And then these dads with tits are so ashamed of their tits, which they should be, they wear swimming shirts at the indoor water park. 1.00
00:13:59.000 They have these scuba shirts on, which is brutally, brutally embarrassing. 1.00
00:14:05.000 And I was just hanging out with my dad over these past two days, and he's a dick. 0.98
00:14:09.000 Like, he doesn't engage my son. 0.99
00:14:12.000 He just goes, well, he's too quiet.
00:14:14.000 He likes baseball too much, and I'm no interested in baseball.
00:14:17.000 So that's kind of annoying.
00:14:18.000 You know, I wish I had the... I wish my son had the granddad who would, you know, build him a go-kart and say, like, what's going on with... You know those, like, nice grandpas?
00:14:26.000 What's going on with you, sonny?
00:14:28.000 Oh, you like the Mets?
00:14:29.000 Well, here's a baseball from Noah Syndergaard.
00:14:32.000 Those grandparents are gone.
00:14:34.000 Baby boomers are infamous for this. 1.00
00:14:36.000 But... 1.00
00:14:37.000 That being said, though he's a dick, it was refreshing to hang out with a dick for a little bit. 1.00
00:14:44.000 And he brought in my inner dick. 1.00
00:14:49.000 You know when you're so cold? 1.00
00:14:51.000 I was a bike messenger in Montreal, and in January, your penis would leave your body. 1.00
00:14:56.000 The meat would just go, you know what, fuck this. 1.00
00:14:59.000 And it would recede. 1.00
00:15:00.000 So you'd look down, and your penis, I'm uncircumcised, would be 100% foreskin. 0.99
00:15:06.000 Just like two inches of just foreskin. 1.00
00:15:09.000 Like you could chop it off and I'd still have a penis, I guess. 0.99
00:15:11.000 Then we could just stretch out the skin, reuse it or something. 1.00
00:15:14.000 But I wouldn't hate it if you chopped my dick off in January as a bike messenger because you're just really doing a giant circumcision. 1.00
00:15:21.000 And so I had an inner dick and my dad brings out my inner dick. 0.99
00:15:26.000 And he's, you know, he's an inspiration in many ways. 0.99
00:15:29.000 I remember we were in Disneyland and someone butted in line.
00:15:34.000 And I was maybe nine at the time.
00:15:37.000 Someone butted in line and he goes, and he runs over and he grabs these two 13-year-old girls by the scruffs of their necks and rips them out of line because they butted.
00:15:47.000 Now, the amazing thing about this is it wasn't our line.
00:15:52.000 We were about four lines over.
00:15:55.000 And he ran over and grabbed them and pulled them out of the line.
00:15:58.000 That's refreshing.
00:16:00.000 It's like my buddy Brian, who was going to have his twins baptized.
00:16:05.000 And someone had mentioned that because his twins were surrogate twins, the priest might be annoyed by that. 0.99
00:16:10.000 And he said, if the priest has a problem with it, I'm happy to pick him up and throw him out the fucking window. 0.99
00:16:16.000 And I thought, yeah, that's being a man. 0.99
00:16:19.000 You see, you don't have to do roundhouse kicks and throw, throw cinder blocks out your window to be a man.
00:16:28.000 You just have to say, this is the way it's going to be.
00:16:31.000 I've done my research and this is the best way to move forward.
00:16:35.000 And I think a lot of women, this is a controversial stance, but a lot of women say, no, we're not doing that. 0.95
00:16:40.000 Actually, we're going to walk there over the highway.
00:16:45.000 It's actually easier than getting an Uber.
00:16:48.000 And I think a lot of women say things they don't mean. 1.00
00:16:51.000 I think a lot of women want to be disciplined. 1.00
00:16:53.000 And I don't mean a spanking, although I wouldn't be surprised if many do.
00:16:56.000 But I mean, I think a lot of women want you to grab the reins. 1.00
00:17:00.000 And I've learned this from trial and error.
00:17:02.000 I mean, I was a feminist. 1.00
00:17:03.000 I have a woman symbol tattooed on my arm with an E in it for equality. 1.00
00:17:08.000 So I've been down that route.
00:17:10.000 And one thing I noticed was these feminists, they don't like allies. 1.00
00:17:14.000 You know, nothing makes a vagina drier than a feminist ally. 1.00
00:17:20.000 And I remember when I was a kid, we'd go to these anarchist gatherings and there'd be feminists there. 0.99
00:17:25.000 Penny was her name.
00:17:26.000 She had dreads in 1989, which was just unheard of.
00:17:30.000 She was a goddess.
00:17:31.000 Really into crass and stuff.
00:17:33.000 And I still would leave my wife tomorrow for her.
00:17:37.000 I don't even know what she looks like now.
00:17:38.000 She's probably 55 years old. 0.74
00:17:40.000 But she didn't get picked up by a feminist ally at the end of the anarchist gathering. 1.00
00:17:45.000 She got picked up by a biker who thought that the stuff she talked about at these gatherings was gay. 0.77
00:17:52.000 You know? 0.96
00:17:53.000 So don't fool yourself into thinking you're doing the right thing by emasculating yourself.
00:17:59.000 And again,
00:18:00.000 I'm not a tough guy.
00:18:02.000 I can't fix a car.
00:18:04.000 I don't know much about sports.
00:18:05.000 I'm basically... In the Archie Bunker days, I would be considered a pussy. 1.00
00:18:10.000 I would be like Meathead in Archie Bunker's house. 0.99
00:18:12.000 But now, things are so bad that Meathead is Chuck Norris.
00:18:15.000 I'm Chuck Norris.
00:18:17.000 That's not a good thing.
00:18:19.000 That's a bad thing.
00:18:21.000 And I see these students, these young men, at college.
00:18:24.000 They get up and... Have you ever seen this?
00:18:27.000 You gotta...
00:18:29.000 I know you're probably my age if you're listening to these podcasts, but you really got to check in on college campuses once in a while to see how bad things are.
00:18:35.000 It is insane! 0.63
00:18:37.000 It's insane the courses they're taught about how, you know, we killed the Indians and black people built this country through slavery. 0.97
00:18:44.000 That's just a fact. 0.77
00:18:46.000 The fact that we fought them for 400 years is irrelevant.
00:18:49.000 The fact that America's balance sheet was zero dollars after the Civil War, that's been ignored.
00:18:54.000 We still, like black people, slaves built this golf course I'm looking at right now.
00:18:59.000 So those lies are perpetuated. 1.00
00:19:02.000 Marxist bullshit is perpetuated. 0.99
00:19:03.000 And when white men get up, they go, Hi, I just want to say that I understand I'm coming from a position of privilege, and I understand that my voice is less valuable than the other voices here. 0.99
00:19:15.000 However, and then he says what he wants to say.
00:19:18.000 These men in college come with a caveat. 0.99
00:19:22.000 And you go, that's a pussy move. 1.00
00:19:24.000 Don't do that. 1.00
00:19:24.000 Well, I'd be kicked out of college. 1.00
00:19:26.000 Good.
00:19:27.000 Get kicked out of college.
00:19:28.000 Well, if I say who I really am and I'm not anonymous on Twitter, I'll lose my job.
00:19:32.000 Good. 1.00
00:19:32.000 Lose your job, pussy. 1.00
00:19:33.000 You know how many jobs I've lost? 1.00
00:19:35.000 I just accepted that I'm always on the verge of being fired.
00:19:39.000 Even with my job now.
00:19:40.000 I've totally accepted, and I have Plan B and C and D. I've totally accepted that it's only a matter of time before I get fired.
00:19:45.000 And Alex Jones, by the way, should have known that it's only a matter of time before he gets kicked off of YouTube.
00:19:50.000 Same with Paul Joseph Watson.
00:19:52.000 Same with even Breitbart.
00:19:54.000 We have to know.
00:19:55.000 As Steve Bannon said, they're not going to give it back to us without a fight.
00:20:00.000 You just have to accept that nothing is yours, nothing's taken for granted. 1.00
00:20:04.000 And to that college student who gets up and says, yeah, I just want to say that I'm a fucking loser and everything I say is gay. 1.00
00:20:12.000 That doesn't benefit you. 1.00
00:20:13.000 It doesn't benefit anyone.
00:20:14.000 It doesn't help your point.
00:20:17.000 I think a lot of these feminists and these anti-male people, they don't really want you to go with them. 1.00
00:20:23.000 That's the crazy part I'm saying here.
00:20:25.000 Here's the real controversial theory.
00:20:28.000 They don't want you to acquiesce.
00:20:30.000 They don't want you to say that.
00:20:32.000 They don't like it when you say that. 1.00
00:20:34.000 They think you're a pussy. 1.00
00:20:35.000 It's almost like a big sister bullying her little brother. 1.00
00:20:38.000 It's not like she appreciates it when he says, OK, I'll do that.
00:20:41.000 I'll stare at the ground. 0.99
00:20:42.000 She goes, ha ha, loser. 1.00
00:20:45.000 You know, if you're going to bully a nerd and he wedgies himself on the bully's way to the wedgie, the bully doesn't go, well, thanks a lot, man. 0.99
00:20:54.000 That was really self-aware of you. 0.99
00:20:55.000 I'm glad you pulled your underwear up your buttcheeks and hanged yourself on a basketball net. 0.99
00:21:01.000 Yes, that is correct grammar. 1.00
00:21:03.000 He goes, what a loser. 0.98
00:21:05.000 I'm gonna get him next time and surprise him with the wedgie. 0.99
00:21:08.000 Now, if that nerd sees a bully coming over to wedgie him and that nerd punches him in the face, even if that punch is pathetic and barely hits his nose, that kid's never getting wedgied again. 0.98
00:21:20.000 I don't know if you can teach that, but it's the truth. 0.99
00:21:26.000 And all these men with tits, like the guy I talked about in the other podcast who said, you guys, to his effing family, to his wife and kids, you guys really hurt my feelings and you made me feel insignificant. 0.99
00:21:39.000 Dude, you're getting divorced. 1.00
00:21:41.000 You're getting dumped. 0.96
00:21:43.000 Your wife is never going to blow you ever again because you called yourself insignificant. 1.00
00:21:49.000 So even if it's a bluff,
00:21:52.000 Be a man.
00:21:53.000 Just take the reins.
00:21:55.000 And then you'll notice after a while that you take the reins that, yeah, you deserve the reins.
00:22:00.000 Like when you say, you know what?
00:22:01.000 I'm driving there.
00:22:02.000 I'll handle the directions.
00:22:03.000 You'll be driving for a while and you realize, hey, we're actually going the right way.
00:22:06.000 I was right.
00:22:08.000 I should have taken the reins earlier.
00:22:10.000 She was wrong.
00:22:11.000 And she didn't want me to take the reins.
00:22:16.000 You know, my father-in-law was leaving my front door.
00:22:19.000 I've told the story many times, but he was leaving my front door in my place upstate, and it was super icy on the front steps.
00:22:27.000 I designed the house, and I'm not that competent as an architect, so the front steps were away from the sun.
00:22:35.000 And water would just sort of sit on them in the winter and become black ice and the sun never melted it because the front steps never saw the sun.
00:22:42.000 I made it all about the back of the house.
00:22:44.000 So it's just Black Ice Steps.
00:22:46.000 Black Ice Steps, where you from?
00:22:49.000 To wipe away the rain, Black Ice Steps.
00:22:55.000 And he did this like, remember in Sesame Street, that like
00:22:58.000 Nine pizza pies, or whatever it is.
00:23:03.000 And the guy with the chef hat goes falling down the stairs with all the pies.
00:23:06.000 Like it was the worst fall a man could have.
00:23:11.000 And after he was done, it took him like a minute to fall.
00:23:15.000 After he was done, this like, whoa, like Charlie Chaplin, Keystone Cop's fall.
00:23:20.000 He said, don't tell, and then he mentioned his wife's name.
00:23:25.000 Or I think he mentioned my wife's name too.
00:23:27.000 Don't tell the ladies, whatever.
00:23:29.000 And I thought, that's weird.
00:23:30.000 And then about a day later I go, that's brilliant!
00:23:34.000 That's being a man.
00:23:36.000 Don't show your vulnerabilities.
00:23:38.000 Don't say, you made me feel insignificant.
00:23:42.000 And here's the analogy that I always use, that I got from that experience, that was just one of the best pieces of advice I've ever had, even though he didn't mean to give me advice.
00:23:52.000 Say you have a big, elaborate chocolate cake, and I don't know, it's your kid's birthday or something, and you're running home because you're late for the birthday.
00:24:02.000 And as you're running, you trip and you fall face-first into a chocolate cake.
00:24:08.000 Do not tell your wife that story.
00:24:11.000 Wash your face. 1.00
00:24:13.000 Throw the cake in the garbage. 0.99
00:24:14.000 Get a new cake.
00:24:15.000 Tell your buddies that story.
00:24:17.000 That's a funny story for your buddies.
00:24:19.000 But don't tell your wife that story.
00:24:22.000 This is what I keep telling married men.
00:24:24.000 And I'm not an expert, by the way.
00:24:25.000 I've known my wife for about 20 years, but we've only been married for just over 10.
00:24:29.000 And so I know I'm not the king of marriage.
00:24:33.000 But, you know, I got three kids and we're doing pretty good. 0.97
00:24:37.000 And one thing I say to married men is, and this goes back to the guy with the tits, you're never not single. 0.94
00:24:45.000 Like, I'm always courting my wife. 1.00
00:24:47.000 I've always said, every time you fart around your wife, a blowjob loses its wings. 1.00
00:24:54.000 And I'm thinking about doing a whole other podcast on this, on Marriage Tips. 0.99
00:24:58.000 Don't share the same bathroom. 0.98
00:25:00.000 Your wife should not smell your brutal Maker's Mark hangover shits the next day. 1.00
00:25:06.000 You know those ones where they're so bad that you're grossed out? 0.98
00:25:10.000 Or you want to call like the NYU medical students and go, hey guys, you might want to come by my house. 0.66
00:25:16.000 I've just had a bowel movement that is the most disgusting thing man has ever created.
00:25:22.000 This is so bad it's interesting.
00:25:27.000 Sorry, I got distracted.
00:25:28.000 There's a weird black bird eating out of a pond here.
00:25:30.000 Like, he's as black as an ink drawing.
00:25:34.000 I don't know what kind of bird it is.
00:25:35.000 Is it a black swan?
00:25:37.000 What a weird bird.
00:25:40.000 It looks like a calligraphy spill.
00:25:45.000 But, um, you're always courting her and you're never like, hi, I had a nightmare.
00:25:50.000 I was so scared.
00:25:51.000 I wouldn't tell my wife if I had a nightmare where I was so scared.
00:25:56.000 If you're gonna cry in front of your wife, that's... There's one... Like, maybe a Clint Eastwood movie, right?
00:26:02.000 Or a World War II movie, as Kumiya says, when the guy goes, Daddy or Grandpa, were you a hero?
00:26:09.000 No, but I fought alongside of some.
00:26:13.000 If that's in a movie, you're allowed to cry a single tear down your cheek.
00:26:17.000 But a man can't blubber.
00:26:19.000 How you doing? 0.98
00:26:21.000 You can't do that blubbering ugly face where you're going, 0.92
00:26:34.000 That's not acceptable. 0.62
00:26:37.000 I mean, if you must do that, I don't know why you have to do that.
00:26:40.000 Go into a closet and lock the doors and go do that when you're sure no one's home and also lock the deadbolt and make sure no one has a key.
00:26:50.000 You always have to want to be a man is what I'm saying and growing boobies is not that.
00:26:56.000 You're never off the clock is what I'm saying. 0.56
00:27:02.000 Don't tell your wife you're insignificant. 0.77
00:27:04.000 Don't grow boobies. 0.98
00:27:05.000 And don't go, oh my God, you guys, I fell face first in a cake on the way here.
00:27:10.000 I got cake all over me. 1.00
00:27:11.000 Dude, your wife is just, you just lost two weeks of sex by showing her that. 1.00
00:27:18.000 So, I guess what I'm saying in this short-lived podcast, because we're here in Florida, Port St. 0.96
00:27:24.000 Lucie, for spring training, watching the Mets.
00:27:27.000 And by the way, these games have been so good, I'm suspicious.
00:27:31.000 Like the game with the Tigers yesterday.
00:27:34.000 It was... We were winning, but the bases were fully loaded on the 9th, and if they had a grand slam, then we would have been losing.
00:27:41.000 We would have lost.
00:27:43.000 And then today, with the Houston Astros, it's the exact same story.
00:27:48.000 It's sort of like Conor McGregor going out on the exact... What was... How many rounds was that?
00:27:53.000 Like 12 rounds?
00:27:54.000 13 rounds?
00:27:54.000 Exactly when everyone thought a reasonable fight would be.
00:27:57.000 A little perfect.
00:27:59.000 You guys both got your 10 million?
00:28:01.000 Hmm.
00:28:02.000 But yeah, these games are a little too good to where we play the Yankees.
00:28:06.000 But that's why I'm making this podcast short.
00:28:09.000 But the big picture here is to be a man is not to be able to fix a car.
00:28:14.000 It's not to have been in Afghanistan.
00:28:17.000 It's not to have been a cop.
00:28:18.000 Of course, all those men are more of a man than you and me.
00:28:21.000 That's a given. 1.00
00:28:23.000 Oh shit, his shirt's gone. 0.99
00:28:24.000 No, no, it's back. 0.99
00:28:27.000 Those are all Superman.
00:28:28.000 I'm not asking you to be Superman.
00:28:29.000 I'm not Superman.
00:28:31.000 But being a man is simply wanting to be a man. 0.99
00:28:35.000 Never letting down your guard, never letting yourself grow tits, never giggling that you fell on a chocolate cake. 0.98
00:28:42.000 Being a man is just saying my goal is to have power. 0.89
00:28:46.000 My goal is not to self-deprecate in college when I talk about something.
00:28:50.000 My goal is to be myself and not be anonymous and to get fired for my views.
00:28:55.000 My goal is to be honest, to have character,
00:28:58.000 To create a legacy for my children where they know my dad was a handshake guy.
00:29:01.000 He never lied.
00:29:03.000 He told the truth.
00:29:04.000 And a lot of people thought he was evil, but at least he was honest.
00:29:07.000 That's all it is to be a real man.
00:29:09.000 It's sort of like Catholicism where they go, look, you're going to screw up. 0.99
00:29:13.000 You're going to drink makers during Lent, but go and confess your sins and try to get back on the horse.
00:29:18.000 You know?
00:29:19.000 With no wanks. 0.97
00:29:20.000 You're gonna have a wank. 0.94
00:29:21.000 Occasionally. 0.92
00:29:22.000 That's not great.
00:29:23.000 But get on the horse.
00:29:24.000 Keep trying.
00:29:25.000 Keep trying to be attractive to your wife. 1.00
00:29:27.000 Don't take shits in her bathroom and then go, uh oh, I wouldn't go in there. 1.00
00:29:31.000 Like, that's giving up. 1.00
00:29:33.000 And men don't give up.
00:29:35.000 Men fight.
00:29:36.000 That's what built the Western world was determination.
00:29:38.000 How long did we fight the Indians?
00:29:40.000 400 years.
00:29:42.000 By the way, that was Indian men and white men refusing to give up.
00:29:47.000 Kudos to both of them.
00:29:49.000 Great war, guys.
00:29:51.000 400 years?
00:29:52.000 That makes the Nazis look like a fad. 0.91
00:29:56.000 How long did we beat them in?
00:29:57.000 Two years?
00:29:59.000 So being a man isn't about winning.
00:30:01.000 Being a man is about trying and that's why I'm so happy to bring my son to Port St.
00:30:06.000 Lucie because I love that he loves baseball.
00:30:08.000 I love that he loves sports because he loses.
00:30:10.000 Even today there was a ball that came out from during batting practice that he could have got and he missed and he was on the verge of tears because he was so mad at himself.
00:30:19.000 Great.
00:30:20.000 That's a much better lesson than winning.
00:30:22.000 Learning how to lose is great, because the secret to being a man is picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, washing the chocolate cake off your face, and not telling anyone what just happened.
00:30:36.000 I love you, and I'll see you on Friday.
00:30:39.000 Bye!