Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 27, 2017


Get Off My Lawn #36 | Thanksgiving Special


Episode Stats

Length

43 minutes

Words per Minute

182.00836

Word Count

7,975

Sentence Count

683

Misogynist Sentences

20

Hate Speech Sentences

41


Summary

Happy Thanksgiving! It's a day where you sit alone, far from your family, eat McDonald's, drink bourbon, and crack open some brews to celebrate the bountiful bounty that s been brought to you by the pilgrims.


Transcript

00:00:08.000 I'm better than you.
00:00:11.000 I'm better than you.
00:00:14.000 I learned to play piano.
00:00:17.000 It was really hard.
00:00:20.000 Hello, how?
00:00:22.000 Welcome to my home.
00:00:24.000 Welcome to the suburbs.
00:00:26.000 I didn't go into the city today because I decided to stay home for Thanksgiving.
00:00:31.000 Now, for those of you not familiar with the holiday, Thanksgiving is a day where you sit alone, far from your family.
00:00:38.000 You eat McDonald's, drink bourbon, and crack open some brews.
00:00:45.000 Come a little closer.
00:00:47.000 Don't be shy.
00:00:48.000 Get a little closer with Erid ExtraDry.
00:00:52.000 Good jingle, by the way, Erid.
00:00:53.000 It's been in my head for decades.
00:00:57.000 It's nice to be doing the show from home.
00:00:59.000 You can hear my barking dog, Leroy, that I feel nothing for.
00:01:04.000 I don't love or hate that dog.
00:01:06.000 I see him as a little robotic dog.
00:01:08.000 Like, you remember in Blade Runner, they have that owl, and you find it's not a real owl.
00:01:12.000 It's all animatronic, and it looks just like a real owl?
00:01:16.000 That's how I feel about this.
00:01:18.000 I don't want this on my desk.
00:01:19.000 Can you get this out of here with the paper towels, please?
00:01:22.000 Staff?
00:01:28.000 Thanksgiving.
00:01:30.000 It's a holiday that is celebrated all over the world, really.
00:01:35.000 Christian originally, although we can't seem to get the story straight on what the origins of this holiday are.
00:01:42.000 1600s, I know the American one was, there's about three or four of them that say they're the main one, but it was Plymouth, Plymouth Rock, something.
00:01:50.000 Some Puritans in New England from England, hence the name.
00:01:56.000 They had dinner to celebrate the harvest, but surely celebrating the harvest goes back to pagan days.
00:02:01.000 I think most holidays that Christians celebrate are sort of trying to get pagans in to get the numbers up.
00:02:07.000 Like Christmas was the sun god.
00:02:09.000 I don't think Jesus was born on December 25th, but people worship the sun god, the shortest day of the year, so let's make that a thing.
00:02:17.000 And then Halloween, come on in, we want Halloween, guys, even though that's a pagan thing.
00:02:21.000 And Easter with the bunny, come on.
00:02:23.000 It worked.
00:02:23.000 We got our numbers up.
00:02:25.000 We might as well, because pagans are pagans.
00:02:28.000 Heathens.
00:02:30.000 Those were not glorious days, by the way.
00:02:32.000 We always hear about how if women ran the world, there'd be no war.
00:02:36.000 Yeah, women did run the world in pagan societies, and they sacrificed virgins, and they sacrificed babies, and they did horrible stuff.
00:02:43.000 So no, no, we're not going back to that.
00:02:46.000 Christianity is the best, and that's why it made the West.
00:02:51.000 But speaking of pulling people in, I'll probably do this in another talk, but my goal this December is to pull Jews into Santa.
00:03:00.000 I understand you don't want to do the manger and all that stuff.
00:03:02.000 Fine, that makes sense.
00:03:04.000 But Santa's not a Christian god.
00:03:07.000 He's just a guy in a suit.
00:03:08.000 It's Germanic originally, Northern European, Nordic god mixed with some Greek saint who gave prostitutes candies over a wall or something or a bag of change.
00:03:19.000 And a bag of change was a big deal back then.
00:03:20.000 We didn't have wallets.
00:03:22.000 But I say Jews should celebrate Christmas.
00:03:25.000 Celebrate Santa.
00:03:26.000 They do in California.
00:03:27.000 Every Jewish person I know in California celebrates it.
00:03:30.000 So why not, we should push for that?
00:03:32.000 Because I don't think Hanukkah is that great.
00:03:34.000 I mean, I see the presents they get.
00:03:37.000 It's like, remember that guy Ben, Rat?
00:03:41.000 He pretended it was as good as Christmas, and he got like a, it's a multi-charger.
00:03:45.000 It charges your iPad, your phone.
00:03:47.000 It's got all these different tentacles.
00:03:48.000 It's like an octopus.
00:03:50.000 I'll take a BB gun, thanks.
00:03:52.000 Shoot your eye out.
00:03:54.000 But anyway, we have to focus on Thanksgiving in my beautiful dining room that I'm alone in because I think that's how the custom goes.
00:04:05.000 At Plymouth they celebrate and they celebrate the harvest and it's really like the origins of it are ambiguous and I think what really matters is what people see it as.
00:04:14.000 Can you come a little closer, please?
00:04:16.000 I still feel like we already got the joke about the long table.
00:04:20.000 Now let's get real and but don't chop the headdress.
00:04:23.000 That's real important, eh?
00:04:26.000 What is it about though?
00:04:27.000 It's about the Indians and the pilgrims getting together and having a feast, whether they did that or not.
00:04:34.000 You know, there was plenty of feasts before that that were just about the Puritans, the Christian, the English celebrating their harvest.
00:04:40.000 They had a big harvest.
00:04:41.000 I think it was 1691, 1600s, and they wanted to celebrate it.
00:04:46.000 But over time, when you talk to, you know, a school teacher, that's my idea, by the way, that's my go-to person for the most possible naive human being, is a school teacher.
00:04:56.000 If you want a really simplistic view, talk to an academic.
00:05:00.000 But their simplistic view is that Indians are celebrating and it's a custom where we all get together.
00:05:05.000 And I think that's what it should be.
00:05:07.000 And it's funny that there's backlash, too, from Indians.
00:05:10.000 And I blame liberals for this.
00:05:13.000 Indians aren't political.
00:05:14.000 They're like gays in many ways.
00:05:16.000 They have their own stuff going on and it's not really that bad.
00:05:19.000 Being really political and really, you know, dogmatic about terms and stuff, it's kind of a white thing.
00:05:26.000 And it's actually a middle-class, upper-middle-class white thing.
00:05:29.000 I'm not saying that's good, by the way.
00:05:31.000 But this sort of fastidious meandering around terms and verbiology, and you said this and you said that.
00:05:40.000 You know what, Dave, you can just go upstairs.
00:05:42.000 You don't need to be here the whole time.
00:05:43.000 I'm going to go on quite a rant.
00:05:44.000 I'll yell for you if I run out of stuff to say about Thanksgiving.
00:05:48.000 but your labor is not needed here.
00:05:50.000 I remember speaking of...
00:05:57.000 He got in a lot of trouble for saying gays aren't political.
00:05:59.000 But I know gays, and there's only a tiny fraction of them that want you to get fired for not supporting gay marriage.
00:06:04.000 The rest are at a fashion show.
00:06:06.000 And with Indians, I believe there was a study back in 2003 about the name The Redskins, and Do You Find It Offensive?
00:06:14.000 And 4% said they had a problem with it.
00:06:17.000 Indians name their teams Redskins and I don't know about savages, but Braves and that kind of stuff.
00:06:24.000 They name their own.
00:06:25.000 In Arizona, I believe there's a kids football team called the Redskins.
00:06:29.000 So it's a perfectly normal thing for them.
00:06:32.000 And then the liberals invented a currency of victimhood, and everything had to be politicized.
00:06:38.000 Beano comics, shoes.
00:06:40.000 At my old show, we had a game where we'd look up something and you couldn't find something that wasn't racist.
00:06:46.000 Like broccoli.
00:06:47.000 Well, you'd look up broccoli.
00:06:48.000 Maybe it wasn't racist, but vegetables would be racist.
00:06:51.000 We did shoes.
00:06:52.000 We did shoelaces.
00:06:53.000 We did socks.
00:06:54.000 Everything you could think of has been called racist at some point.
00:06:58.000 So that's eventually going to, it's infected anthropology, it's infected piano ship, music, shows, band names.
00:07:06.000 And it was eventually going to infect Indians, and it did.
00:07:10.000 And all of a sudden, Indians who had a problem with the Redskins went up to about 80%.
00:07:14.000 I believe it's gone back down now.
00:07:16.000 They've sort of found their equilibrium, the free market of ideas is going, yeah, yeah, I was just, it just seemed to be a thing.
00:07:23.000 There seemed to be some money in it.
00:07:24.000 So I said, ew, because it helped me showcase other things.
00:07:28.000 That's the other thing about all this politicization.
00:07:30.000 They don't really believe it.
00:07:31.000 Like when the Gay Pride Parade wanted to be part of the Irish parade, and the AR said, no, you can be here, but it's an Irish thing.
00:07:40.000 We're not having a big LGBT float.
00:07:42.000 And then later, this is in William McGowan's book, Coloring the News, they said, so I didn't, I don't remember you guys being so passionate about being Irish.
00:07:49.000 And the gay group went, ah, we're not.
00:07:51.000 We just thought it was a good place to showcase our human rights.
00:07:58.000 So Thanksgiving has become politicized.
00:08:02.000 And now it is an insult to the Indians for you to sit around and celebrate the lynching of their people, the rape of their women, the stealing of the land.
00:08:13.000 And I'm going to get to that soon because we're going to do a tour of my dining room and we can see this large painting I have of a battle of Fort DeQuesne.
00:08:21.000 I refuse to accept that narrative.
00:08:24.000 That whites did brutal and horrible things to Indians, the wounded knee, trail of tears, the way they would separate children from their families under the auspices of helping them to assimilate.
00:08:39.000 The way they would take pedophile priests and put them on reservations.
00:08:43.000 Horrible stuff.
00:08:45.000 But there were horrible times.
00:08:47.000 History sucks.
00:08:49.000 And before we got here, the Indians were slaughtering each other.
00:08:52.000 Huge mass graves were finding.
00:08:54.000 Stories of Indians shooting dead Indians with arrows, psi, psi, psi, after they're dead so they'll be screwed in the afterlife.
00:09:02.000 And we didn't just fight them, we fought with them.
00:09:05.000 We fought their battles for them.
00:09:07.000 We fought with them against other tribes.
00:09:09.000 Sometimes they fought with us, French and the English.
00:09:17.000 So we need to get Thanksgiving back to what it's about.
00:09:20.000 And what it's about is what the school teacher says it's about, because the most common perception is the truth.
00:09:27.000 So I guess I'm a Nazi in that case.
00:09:30.000 No, but a house is only worth what people are willing to pay for it.
00:09:35.000 So the most common perception of Thanksgiving is that it is, you know what's funny?
00:09:42.000 After one sip of bourbon, I can feel my IQ lower.
00:09:46.000 Like when I was having drinks with Dan Coulter and Mickey Kaus, I was holding my own and I go, wow, I'm as smart as them.
00:09:52.000 I mean, sometimes I'm saying things that they're impressed by.
00:09:54.000 And then as I was ordering more and more drinks, I could feel myself going underwater until I was basically an intern who got to have lunch with his boss and was in way over his head.
00:10:05.000 So my IQ will be lowering slowly over the course of this show.
00:10:10.000 But the school teacher concept of Thanksgiving, the Indians and the pilgrims celebrating and thanking God and nature for all that they have, you know, not having conflict, settling their differences, assuming there was big differences going on.
00:10:30.000 I don't know if there was differences.
00:10:31.000 You know, one of the first encounters with Indians was not the first time, but it's what most whites thought, most English thought were the first time getting there.
00:10:40.000 This Indian came up, I forget his name, Oompa Lumpa or something.
00:10:44.000 He has no shirt on.
00:10:45.000 It's freezing cold in New England.
00:10:48.000 And he's just there, got his buckskin.
00:10:50.000 And they walk up to him, is he going to kill us?
00:10:53.000 And he goes, hi, do you have beer?
00:10:56.000 He had learned that English phrase, I guess, from a previous boat.
00:11:00.000 And these boats often did have beer because it was the only water you knew wasn't going to get infected.
00:11:04.000 And that's...
00:11:09.000 Anyway, I like this concept of thanksgiving, of people getting together, forgetting their differences, and being thankful.
00:11:16.000 I've noticed that about Indian culture.
00:11:18.000 When you go to Powos or something, my wife's an Indian, by the way, which is why I'm such an expert.
00:11:23.000 There's a lot of thanks, thanks, thanksity, thanks.
00:11:25.000 And that's a real similarity we have with Christianity.
00:11:29.000 You know, Indians and Americans are great allies.
00:11:33.000 And they always have been.
00:11:35.000 Outside of the disgusting thing that was history.
00:11:37.000 And by the way, you came to New York, you settled in upstate New York, you starved to death.
00:11:43.000 You were digging up your grandmother and eating her face.
00:11:46.000 Everything sucked back then.
00:11:47.000 So when you hear about Columbus, you know, massacring 13 Indians, that's because they just massacred 13 settlers.
00:11:54.000 You know, it was a barbaric time up until very recently.
00:11:58.000 Look at the lifespan that you had in the 1900s.
00:12:02.000 Look at the lifespan you had up until 1920, basically.
00:12:05.000 And now what are we, up to 80?
00:12:09.000 But when you really look at Indian culture, you see a lot of warriors.
00:12:13.000 You know, tribes have different clans, and there's the medicine clan, the storytelling clan, and then the warrior clan.
00:12:21.000 Now, you take over a country or create a country from scratch, which is what America was.
00:12:27.000 People go, you're an immigrant.
00:12:28.000 No, I didn't immigrate to America.
00:12:30.000 Actually, I did.
00:12:31.000 But the history of this people isn't immigrant.
00:12:33.000 There was no America here.
00:12:34.000 It was a place where the French and the Indians and the English were all fighting, trying to come up with a place.
00:12:40.000 It's not like there was an India with passports, and they said, no, it's ours now.
00:12:46.000 But in the formation of this country, during the fights, during the battles, we had warriors, and they were Indians.
00:12:53.000 And right up until the Civil War, World War I, right up until now, every time you go to an Indian's house, Anywhere on a reservation, you look up on the wall and there's pictures of vets, all Indians, all vets, because that's the warrior clan.
00:13:07.000 That's what they do.
00:13:09.000 And if you go to museums, like I was just in Cooperstown with the Baseball Hall of Fame, there's a beautiful museum there.
00:13:15.000 Some rich guy just collected a bunch of Indian stuff.
00:13:18.000 And I thought, I wish liberals would come here.
00:13:20.000 I wish they'd open their minds and they could see all the different bric-a-brac that has American flags on it, like a pair of mukluks or a pair of moccasins with intricately designed stars and stripes and eagles and USA and America all over them on kids' booties on gloves with big red, white, and blue fringe on them.
00:13:42.000 They're patriots.
00:13:43.000 They're chauvinists.
00:13:45.000 But the left, in their plea to make us all hate each other so they can wipe us out, so they can start anew with a big globalist agenda where we all speak Esperanto like George Soros wants, they've pitted us against each other.
00:13:57.000 And the beauty of Thanksgiving is it brings us back to that.
00:14:01.000 It says, oh yeah, give thanks.
00:14:03.000 Like at the powwows where they say thanks to the north, thanks to the south, thanks to the west, thanks to the east.
00:14:08.000 Or when you go to church, Catholic church, and you say, peace be upon you, peace be upon you.
00:14:12.000 We here, we give thanks, thank you, God.
00:14:14.000 Just praising.
00:14:16.000 Because that's the key to happiness, really.
00:14:18.000 To be sitting there and saying the grass is greener and always worried about what the other guy has and how you got ripped off, which is a lot of what that thing is, the talk, where black people tell their kids that life sucks and cops are going to get them.
00:14:28.000 That's an attitude where you'll never be happy.
00:14:30.000 You'll never be satisfied.
00:14:31.000 But to stop and take a look and go, I have my health.
00:14:34.000 I don't have cancer.
00:14:35.000 I mean, my list is huge, but your list is almost as big as mine.
00:14:40.000 Unless you have more kids than me, then you have more to be thankful for than I do.
00:14:45.000 But that's a really healthy lifestyle, and I think God implanted that seed.
00:14:49.000 I think it's a Mother Nature, if that's easier for you atheists to comprehend.
00:14:53.000 Mother Nature planted this seed in us that says, make sure that the ones who are grateful and thankful have endorphins released and are happier, because that's what I'm trying to design.
00:15:04.000 I want to make greed and envy and rage and bitterness.
00:15:09.000 I'm going to make those all vices.
00:15:10.000 So don't reward those people with endorphins.
00:15:12.000 Make them miserable.
00:15:13.000 And liberals are miserable.
00:15:16.000 They're cat ladies.
00:15:17.000 These people who are telling you that Thanksgiving is anti-Indian, those people are not happy people.
00:15:23.000 They're evil.
00:15:24.000 No, I don't like that word evil.
00:15:26.000 But they're infected, I think is a better way of putting it.
00:15:30.000 Like feminists, I love women.
00:15:32.000 I think they're magical.
00:15:32.000 They're sentient beings.
00:15:33.000 They can create life.
00:15:35.000 I love everything that makes them unique.
00:15:38.000 But when you infect them with feminism and say, kids are evil, you know, Lauren Southern just did a video where she went around and she was interviewing people saying, would you rather have cats or kids?
00:15:48.000 All of them said cats.
00:15:50.000 Would you rather have marriage or Netflix?
00:15:51.000 All of them said Netflix.
00:15:53.000 Those aren't evil people.
00:15:55.000 Those aren't stupid people.
00:15:56.000 Those are infected people who have been infected with a virus called liberalism where they think there's more joy from cleaning up dog shit than there is hearing a kid tell you his crazy theories or saying things like my son who wants to cut his head off so he can be a ghost because he heard ghosts can fly.
00:16:14.000 That's why I love Thanksgiving, which brings me to my next point about peace and the Indians and the pilgrims coming together.
00:16:26.000 Your parents, your uncles, your brothers, they're all mental cases and there's a lot of emotion at these gatherings.
00:16:36.000 There's a lot of boos going on too, which increases the volume quite a bit.
00:16:40.000 And unless you're Italian, there's probably going to be a fight at this table.
00:16:45.000 And I'm very guilty of this.
00:16:47.000 I am always trying not to fight with my folks, with my in-laws, with my brother and I don't have to not fight.
00:16:53.000 It's easy.
00:16:54.000 He can beat the crap out of me.
00:16:55.000 I beat him up his whole life.
00:16:57.000 I turned him into Ewan McGregor.
00:16:59.000 If I punch him, he just puts his fist through my chest.
00:17:01.000 I have to go to the hospital.
00:17:02.000 So I don't punch him.
00:17:04.000 It's like a cellmate who's eight feet tall.
00:17:08.000 But I'm not the master at this.
00:17:10.000 So do as I say, not as I do.
00:17:12.000 But I think it's really important to sort of inhale and exhale and remember the big picture.
00:17:20.000 And the big picture is that family is for life.
00:17:23.000 And you really got to avoid it.
00:17:25.000 And I don't know.
00:17:26.000 And I find women are more self-indulgent than this, than us.
00:17:26.000 I'm sexist.
00:17:31.000 So they'll often just sort of be having a few wines.
00:17:34.000 And again, women can't hold their booze.
00:17:35.000 And they'll just go, oh, fucking Trump.
00:17:39.000 So he's just back this pedophile, you know.
00:17:41.000 You've got a six-year-old running the country.
00:17:43.000 It's so embarrassing.
00:17:44.000 He's going to start a nuclear war with Kim Jong-un.
00:17:47.000 And you want to just go, first of all, there's no evidence on that Jeremy Ross guy.
00:17:54.000 Kim Jong-un needs a kick in the ass.
00:17:57.000 He's going to murder his people any day now.
00:18:00.000 And he's testing nuclear warheads.
00:18:01.000 So we don't want to tiptoe around him.
00:18:03.000 We want to punch him in the face.
00:18:04.000 And third, what are you talking about a six-year-old?
00:18:08.000 Have you ever built a building in New York City?
00:18:10.000 It's not easy.
00:18:11.000 You can't have Down syndrome and build a building.
00:18:13.000 You've got to deal with a lot of people.
00:18:15.000 It takes a lot of balls.
00:18:16.000 I've renovated a store in New York City.
00:18:19.000 And it was a nightmare.
00:18:21.000 And it took intense hustling.
00:18:23.000 I ran a, Vice used to have retail stores in New York City.
00:18:26.000 And that was part of my job.
00:18:27.000 Running around dealing with that.
00:18:29.000 Even shoplifters alone was a massive chore.
00:18:32.000 And took tons of work and security.
00:18:34.000 And of course, you have to worry about being politically correct when you start making rules.
00:18:37.000 About who can come in in a group of 20.
00:18:40.000 Trump's lived it.
00:18:44.000 So he's not crazy.
00:18:46.000 And he's not an infant.
00:18:47.000 Stop saying that with mail.
00:18:51.000 But you don't want to say that.
00:18:52.000 Okay?
00:18:53.000 Because now you've got beef with her.
00:18:55.000 And you have to be the better man.
00:18:57.000 Because men are better.
00:18:58.000 And you have to go.
00:19:01.000 What I like to do is.
00:19:02.000 And again, I'm sorry to talk down to you.
00:19:04.000 You're probably way older than me and have way more experience.
00:19:06.000 But it's my job.
00:19:07.000 To come up with theories.
00:19:07.000 Okay?
00:19:09.000 And my theory is that the best way to handle this is to be interrogative.
00:19:14.000 And don't say, I'm the biggest Trump lover you'll ever meet.
00:19:19.000 I do that, by the way.
00:19:20.000 In New York, if I'm at a table, everyone assumes they hate Trump.
00:19:23.000 And it's not Thanksgiving, so I don't care if you like me or not.
00:19:25.000 I'm Larry David.
00:19:26.000 At most dinners.
00:19:28.000 I just I just say you're talking to probably the number one Trump guy in America like Steve Bannon probably has more problems with Trump than me I am fire-breathing Trump loyalist to the core.
00:19:41.000 And I just get that out of the way so we don't have to pussyfoot around anymore.
00:19:46.000 But I don't think you should do that at Thanksgiving.
00:19:48.000 I think at Thanksgiving, you have to go, yeah, yeah, I see what you're saying.
00:19:56.000 I see what you're saying.
00:19:59.000 But there has been a lot of jobs, have there not?
00:20:02.000 Question mark.
00:20:03.000 There's been what, like 800,000 jobs?
00:20:05.000 I don't know.
00:20:06.000 Or they go, Trump's an idiot.
00:20:07.000 He's got no experience.
00:20:08.000 Yeah, I don't know if experience is a good thing.
00:20:10.000 It's sort of like the mob, I mean, or boss tweet in gangs of New York.
00:20:15.000 You know, it's so entrenched in corruption and lobbyist power that I kind of like the idea of an outsider.
00:20:22.000 What's so great about being presidential?
00:20:26.000 Or I say, I kind of like it.
00:20:28.000 He's kind of like a bull in a china shop, and I don't like the china shop.
00:20:32.000 Or he's like Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack.
00:20:34.000 He's obtuse and crass, but who's your favorite character in Caddyshack?
00:20:37.000 You like the Ted Knight guy?
00:20:39.000 Ted Knight is presidential.
00:20:40.000 I don't like him.
00:20:43.000 Or Anthony Cumia, his angle is, yeah, he's a lunatic.
00:20:50.000 He's an idiot.
00:20:51.000 He's a clown.
00:20:53.000 I love it.
00:20:54.000 That kind of throws people off.
00:20:55.000 That's not my angle, by the way, but it is a good angle.
00:20:58.000 And you have to throw them a bone.
00:20:59.000 You know, Jordan Peterson talks about cooperating and how he's checked out colonies of rats, and they find that rats will let the other rat win during playtime.
00:21:09.000 I know, I didn't know rats played either.
00:21:11.000 But the ones that let the other guy win, like a third of the time, end up with better relationships with other rats.
00:21:16.000 You have to let the other team win.
00:21:18.000 You know, one bone I like to throw them is, meh, Al Franken, doesn't seem so bad.
00:21:24.000 He did a jokey picture.
00:21:25.000 He wrote a sketch where he made out with a chick.
00:21:27.000 She could have said no.
00:21:28.000 I don't know.
00:21:29.000 It doesn't seem like a big deal.
00:21:31.000 Grabby.
00:21:31.000 He grabbed Ariana Huffington.
00:21:33.000 Did she mind?
00:21:33.000 I don't know.
00:21:34.000 Did we talk to her yet?
00:21:37.000 That's an angle I'll give them.
00:21:41.000 Because I really want you to retain your relationships.
00:21:44.000 And I think you should go right up to lying.
00:21:45.000 Like a lot of my friends are proud boys, and their sisters have X'd them.
00:21:49.000 And maybe go, yeah, I don't know.
00:21:52.000 It seemed like a fun idea, but this isn't lying.
00:21:55.000 I wouldn't want to stay involved if they went radical right or something.
00:21:59.000 Now, you're not implying proud boys are alt-right.
00:22:01.000 You're saying if that were to happen, then I would quit.
00:22:05.000 That's better than saying, they're not alt-right?
00:22:08.000 Will you shut up about that?
00:22:09.000 You believe every little rumor you hear on Facebook?
00:22:12.000 No, that's negative.
00:22:13.000 And believe me, I'm the worst at that.
00:22:15.000 I snapped.
00:22:16.000 Last time my parents were here, my dad's an atheist, and he constantly berates me for being a Catholic.
00:22:23.000 And it gets tiring after a while.
00:22:26.000 After, say, two hours of being told that bringing your children to church is child abuse, you tend to snap.
00:22:32.000 And so I just grabbed the glass I had and went and hurled it at the sink, which shattered into a thousand pieces.
00:22:38.000 And then I stormed upstairs and went to bed.
00:22:41.000 He's done the same where he's stormed to bed, nude, screaming at me.
00:22:45.000 So I'm not a samurai when it comes to avoiding fights.
00:22:49.000 But I just know that family is more important than anything and family lasts forever.
00:22:53.000 And how heartbreaking is it that we've let these liberals shatter our relationships with our siblings?
00:22:58.000 I don't know how many brothers and sisters are not speaking anymore because of misinformation about Trump.
00:23:07.000 It's not that, look, I became a Nazi, I follow Hitler, and my sister doesn't approve.
00:23:12.000 That, there's an argument there.
00:23:14.000 But this is a rumor that a guy might be like Hitler, based on nothing.
00:23:18.000 Like Mike Pence, he wants to electrocute gays.
00:23:21.000 No, he never said that.
00:23:23.000 He said if a state wants to encourage gays who have AIDS from having 10,000 lovers, the state's propaganda is allowed to encourage those patients to maybe take it easy on the multiple sex partners.
00:23:35.000 And I think he said he doesn't care if a state uses electroshock therapy, which I believe they still use.
00:23:41.000 That's all he said.
00:23:41.000 He didn't say, electrocute the gays.
00:23:45.000 Unbelievable.
00:23:49.000 IQ was up.
00:23:50.000 IQ was down.
00:23:53.000 So I feel like a lot of us are Trumpers, not in a Trump, it's like lovers in a dangerous time, Bruce Coburn.
00:24:02.000 I feel like we're Trumpers in a Hillary time.
00:24:05.000 And I'm talking to you guys, because if you're a Trumper in a Trump time, Thanksgiving must just be like an orgy.
00:24:12.000 It must just be a constant orgasm.
00:24:14.000 You're lucky, you southerners.
00:24:15.000 You're hanging out, talking about guns, not one liberal at the table.
00:24:19.000 You guys obviously don't need advice.
00:24:21.000 You don't need anyone talking.
00:24:22.000 You're not watching this right now because you're hanging out with your awesome, fun family.
00:24:26.000 And by the way, let's cut the crap.
00:24:28.000 We know that liberals are less intolerant than right-wingers.
00:24:31.000 You know that at a right-wing table with two liberals, they're going to be gentle with them and maybe rib them a little bit.
00:24:40.000 If you're at a table with all liberals and two Trumpers, you know that they're dead meat.
00:24:45.000 I was at a family reunion thing, and I knew that a cousin there was a Trumper, but we were told no talking about Trump, no politics.
00:24:54.000 We had decided to avoid politics altogether.
00:24:56.000 Because it was clear that the liberals would have temper tantrums.
00:24:56.000 Why?
00:25:00.000 Not that the Trumpers would have temper tantrums.
00:25:02.000 So it was like, let's not bring it up.
00:25:04.000 But he had just won, and I'm telling you, being a Trump supporter in New York City, I've said this many times, is like being a homosexual in 1950 in Middle America.
00:25:16.000 Like you have to, I heard that gays and lesbians would go on double dates, and there'd be a gay and his female friend, and the lesbian with her gay friend, and they would be like, hi, this is my girlfriend.
00:25:26.000 Well, I love you, lesbian.
00:25:28.000 And then they'd go to the bar, they'd face each other, and then the gays would play footsies, and the liberals, the liberals, the lesbians, same thing, would play footsies with each other, and then they would leave, you know, as male and female couples.
00:25:39.000 That was fun, non-gays.
00:25:41.000 That's how we have to act, if we don't want a major fight.
00:25:45.000 Sometimes we do want to fight.
00:25:47.000 Actually, most of the time, we're happy to fight.
00:25:49.000 But at this particular family gathering, I saw the cousin and he said something about the free market and how corporate tax is too high.
00:25:57.000 And I sort of went, it was like I was gay in 1950, and I saw another guy go, oh, I love your shoes.
00:26:04.000 And I just sort of went, oh, he likes women's shoes, does he?
00:26:07.000 So he threw the bone.
00:26:08.000 So we're going to have bandanas in the back of our pants that sort of say, Hey, I like Trump, red bandana.
00:26:16.000 That's a gay joke.
00:26:17.000 Gays have various bandanas to indicate like they're a top or a bottom or they like this disgusting sexual fetish.
00:26:24.000 I like to suck toes.
00:26:25.000 That's a blue bandana.
00:26:28.000 So I'm looking at him and I sort of make eyes and I go, yeah, I mean, big business and big government, big business is lesser of two evils in many ways.
00:26:37.000 And he's like, hmm.
00:26:40.000 And we sort of slinked to one side of the party.
00:26:44.000 It was a big party.
00:26:45.000 And I said, so how about that new president, huh?
00:26:49.000 And he just sort of goes, yes.
00:26:51.000 And then I'm sort of like, I walk down the street and I can't believe it.
00:26:54.000 I walk down the street.
00:26:55.000 I go, I can't believe Trump is president.
00:26:56.000 Everything seems better.
00:26:57.000 The leaves on the trees look greener.
00:27:01.000 And I go, I'm going on a beer run.
00:27:02.000 You want to come?
00:27:03.000 Then we get in the car, slam, slam.
00:27:03.000 Yeah, I do.
00:27:05.000 Oh, my God, the Dow is up to 800,000 jobs.
00:27:08.000 And the culture, it's all about the culture.
00:27:09.000 Politics is downstream from the culture.
00:27:11.000 And the culture now is I'm not ashamed of myself anymore.
00:27:13.000 I love this country.
00:27:14.000 I love everything about this place.
00:27:14.000 I love this culture.
00:27:15.000 Come on in if you want to be one of us.
00:27:17.000 And if you don't, get the hell out.
00:27:19.000 We buy the beer and then we come back in.
00:27:21.000 And then just like two gays who had had sex in an alleyway, we both just sort of walk away from each other when we come back to the party like, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, mm-hmm.
00:27:30.000 That's who I'm talking to on today's episode.
00:27:33.000 The ones that have to hide.
00:27:35.000 The ones that are red-pilled, the realists.
00:27:38.000 Like Joy Villa, who I was with at Restoration Weekend.
00:27:41.000 We were talking over beers and we said, you know, I'm at the point now where I just think facts are radical, revolutionary, shocking, dangerous.
00:27:51.000 And I feel like I can go to the left and they're so far gone that I can just go, okay, you want to live in an America where cops don't hunt black people for sport?
00:28:01.000 Okay.
00:28:03.000 Done.
00:28:04.000 You want to live in an America where women get equal pay for equal work?
00:28:09.000 Okay, here we go.
00:28:10.000 I'm a genie.
00:28:11.000 And then we came up with this brilliant idea.
00:28:13.000 I'm probably going to shoot it as a sketch.
00:28:14.000 I'm ruining the surprise now, but you just make a cardboard box and you pretend it's a special like Doctor Who phone booth and you're going to teleport them to the utopia of their dreams.
00:28:26.000 Oh, I know how we got there too.
00:28:28.000 She was talking about this black separatist she met who wants to have a world where just blacks are.
00:28:33.000 Like Professor Griff from Public Enemy talks about this too, like an Israel for blacks, even though there's plenty of blacks and Muslims and everything in Israel.
00:28:41.000 But it's an Israel for blacks, and it's like seven or eight states.
00:28:45.000 And she said to him, okay, can I come in?
00:28:47.000 I'm half black.
00:28:48.000 And he says, yeah, okay.
00:28:51.000 I mean, you're seen as black, so you're black.
00:28:55.000 Okay.
00:28:55.000 And then she goes, what about my husband?
00:28:57.000 He's white.
00:28:57.000 Can he come in?
00:28:58.000 Yeah, he likes whites.
00:28:59.000 So he's part of it.
00:29:00.000 Oh, okay.
00:29:01.000 So people who aren't racist can come in.
00:29:02.000 Yeah, I mean, people who appreciate it can come in.
00:29:04.000 Oh, okay.
00:29:05.000 So you just described America.
00:29:10.000 The only people who've excluded are like the 1,000 bona fide racists who already live in the mountains somewhere.
00:29:15.000 They've already been banished up there out of our sight.
00:29:18.000 So for all intents and purposes, we're living in the utopia you just described.
00:29:23.000 And I said, I want to take that guy, hear about his utopia, put him in a cardboard box, and then just sort of shake it a bit.
00:29:28.000 We're going through some turbulence.
00:29:31.000 And then go, we're almost there.
00:29:32.000 It's been millions of light years away.
00:29:35.000 And then open up the cardboard box and go, welcome to a non-racist, non-sexist, non-homophobic, non-transphobic America.
00:29:47.000 I'm magic.
00:29:49.000 Maybe throw some sprinkles at them, some glitter.
00:29:52.000 There we are.
00:29:54.000 That's who we're up against.
00:29:55.000 We're up against the same ones.
00:29:56.000 All right, let's start looking around my dining room, shall we?
00:30:00.000 I feel like you're my only guest here for Thanksgiving.
00:30:03.000 I should show you around a little bit.
00:30:04.000 So here's a fun painting we have up in the dining room.
00:30:09.000 I think it's the Battle of Fort DeQuesne.
00:30:12.000 There's also, about three years earlier, that was what, 1758, the Battle of Fort DeQuesne, there was the Battle of Mananghala, I believe it was called in 55, 1755.
00:30:23.000 But they were all the same back then.
00:30:25.000 The French and Indian Wars, the French and the Indians fighting the English.
00:30:30.000 That was really going on for centuries.
00:30:34.000 How long were the Indian Wars?
00:30:35.000 400 years?
00:30:37.000 So I don't think it's really important whether this was Manon, Gehela, or Duquesne.
00:30:43.000 It's just yet another example of the French and the Indians using guerrilla warfare to win against the English.
00:30:50.000 But let's say it's Fort Duquesne, because it's inseparable really from the previous battle.
00:30:56.000 You know who was here with the Brits?
00:30:58.000 George Dubbs.
00:31:00.000 A very experienced, probably 20-something George Washington was fighting with the British.
00:31:06.000 And in both battles, what happened was they marched for days.
00:31:10.000 There was like 850 people.
00:31:12.000 So this is Dequesne, sorry.
00:31:13.000 There was about 850 English troops that walked for, I don't know, 100 miles.
00:31:18.000 And that's not just soldiers, that's women sewing and cooks and musicians and tent repairers, like a whole society was marching to Dequesne because they wanted to take it down and run it.
00:31:33.000 It was sort of a real seminal trading post, I think.
00:31:37.000 Remember, everything you hear from me, by the way, look up.
00:31:41.000 But it was a seminal fort, and I think it took them six years to take it over.
00:31:45.000 The English eventually won.
00:31:47.000 But their plan was to march all the way to DeQuesne, which is in Pittsburgh.
00:31:53.000 It was before it was Pittsburgh, Ohio, and take it over.
00:31:57.000 So they made it there.
00:31:58.000 They had totally underestimated the French troops.
00:32:00.000 And you know what some of these French guys did?
00:32:02.000 I forget this guy's exact name.
00:32:04.000 Some sort of Frenchy name.
00:32:06.000 The Indians, they're happy to help, right?
00:32:08.000 And if there's money in it, yeah, I'll go fight the English.
00:32:11.000 Sure.
00:32:12.000 They annoy me, the Indians say.
00:32:14.000 But this particular battle, they said, 850 people, not in the mood.
00:32:18.000 You do it.
00:32:19.000 We're not going.
00:32:20.000 So these French lieutenants, these French soldiers, the troops, he would rip his shirt off and cover his face in war paint and, you know, make his hair into braids and say, Je sui avec vous, en va é casé les anglés, hon y voi.
00:32:36.000 And the Indians went, oh, that's cool.
00:32:39.000 You like how the way I make learning fun, by the way, by adding funny voices?
00:32:43.000 And the Indians would feel impressed.
00:32:46.000 They'd feel appreciate the camaraderie of these French soldiers dressing up like them.
00:32:52.000 And so that's what was used here to rally the troops to go fight the English.
00:32:56.000 But, you know, the English, and one of the reasons I love this painting so much too, is it shows that when you go the traditionalist way and you don't innovate, you don't get a 2.0.
00:33:06.000 You know, Christianity has a 2.0 and Islam stuck in the past.
00:33:09.000 You screw up.
00:33:10.000 And you have to know your enemy.
00:33:12.000 Look, I'm a traditionalist in every sense of the world.
00:33:15.000 I think nothing's more important than family.
00:33:17.000 But if someone is playing dirty, play dirty.
00:33:21.000 If they go low, go lower.
00:33:23.000 I don't like this thing about conservatives where they, oh, I didn't swear.
00:33:26.000 Oh, Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluck a slut.
00:33:29.000 Ew, no, no.
00:33:31.000 We don't do that.
00:33:32.000 We don't stoop to such levels.
00:33:33.000 Well, you just lost the war.
00:33:35.000 And by the way, England, you lost America by sticking to your, hut, hut!
00:33:42.000 And then March 2.
00:33:43.000 That's dumb.
00:33:45.000 So anyway, they were sort of in this long phalanx convoy, and they're marching there, expecting the Indians and the French to go, okay, I'm ready for our killing party.
00:33:59.000 Oh, I got shot.
00:34:00.000 No, we're not doing that.
00:34:01.000 I'm not playing that game.
00:34:03.000 It's like Alan Froyer at the New York Times said to me, you know, when these people attack you at college campuses, it would be very noble of you just to take the beating.
00:34:11.000 And you could be like a freedom rider in the civil rights.
00:34:13.000 And I go, no, I'm not doing that.
00:34:15.000 Thanks.
00:34:16.000 You can do that, but I'm not doing that.
00:34:18.000 I'm going to punch back.
00:34:19.000 So what happens is they get ambushed by these people in the woods, the Indians and the French, and they're trying to retreat.
00:34:27.000 But then as they're retreating, the English are confused by their own troops, and there's gunfire everywhere.
00:34:32.000 They're in a complete panic.
00:34:34.000 So they start shooting at each other as well as the Indians.
00:34:37.000 It's just a complete slaughter.
00:34:39.000 And I can't help but think, this is when George Washington said, yeah, I don't like the English.
00:34:46.000 I don't like fighting under them.
00:34:48.000 I like what these French and Indians are doing by assimilating with the Indians, working with them.
00:34:53.000 I want to work with them too, and the French.
00:34:56.000 Let's all band together and destroy the English and become an independent country.
00:35:00.000 So my Indian relatives on my wife's side, when we have them over, they go, that painting is a little intense, isn't it?
00:35:05.000 And they go, I don't see that.
00:35:07.000 Like when I see, what's his name, Baquette?
00:35:11.000 Battok?
00:35:12.000 When I see this seminal English general being shot in the chest, he died soon after.
00:35:18.000 I think actually they stole him and kidnapped him and tortured him to death.
00:35:21.000 When I see these English dying, even as an Englishman, I think this is a really inspiring picture.
00:35:27.000 I like it.
00:35:28.000 It said, yeah, we're not doing it your way.
00:35:31.000 I'm going to win, and I'm going to win at all costs.
00:35:34.000 And I think that's this mentality that created America in the first place.
00:35:38.000 So I'd like a toast to the French and the Indians who murdered the English at Fort DeQuesne.
00:35:44.000 And I do it every Thanksgiving.
00:35:46.000 So this is my dining room.
00:35:47.000 My house is about 100 years old, and it's got these shelves in it.
00:35:50.000 And when I was buying, I go, what's the little groove here?
00:35:53.000 What's this about?
00:35:54.000 And they go, oh, it's for showing off plates.
00:35:56.000 Apparently in the early 1900s, plates were a big deal.
00:35:59.000 So I said, okay, when in Rome, I'll get some plates.
00:36:02.000 So I thought, what better theme than presidents?
00:36:05.000 And here we have all the presidents that are up to, let's say, Lyndon Johnson, I guess.
00:36:10.000 There was dozens of them.
00:36:12.000 They had beards and funny mustaches.
00:36:14.000 One of them was named after that cad who hates Mondays, Garfield, the lasagna lover.
00:36:20.000 So that's fun.
00:36:21.000 And moving right along here, we've got Thomas Jefferson, who wrote the Constitution when he was a millennial.
00:36:28.000 And I bet he said some racist stuff.
00:36:30.000 You know, all these smart guys said terrible things at some point back then.
00:36:34.000 He's the guy who came with the whole Second Amendment, I believe, and the First Amendment.
00:36:37.000 Those are my two favorites.
00:36:39.000 So he's in a nice spot.
00:36:42.000 This is some other guy with a big mustache.
00:36:45.000 They had a lot of kids back then, as you can see.
00:36:47.000 He's probably got about five.
00:36:48.000 Then there was the speed addict, JFK.
00:36:51.000 He was injected with speed.
00:36:52.000 He was a speed addict, amphetamines.
00:36:54.000 And I think they didn't tell him at first.
00:36:57.000 And then later they go, by the way, we've been injecting you with mess.
00:37:00.000 And he said, I don't care if it's horse piss.
00:37:02.000 Makes me feel great.
00:37:03.000 Keep doing it.
00:37:04.000 He got to have sex with Marilyn Monroe, who I don't, I think she was overrated.
00:37:08.000 She's not, I like features, you know?
00:37:11.000 What was his name?
00:37:11.000 Oscar Wilde said, ugly.
00:37:13.000 Pretty is pretty, but only ugly can be beautiful.
00:37:15.000 Marilyn Monroe was pretty.
00:37:17.000 Sophia Loren, she was like beautiful.
00:37:20.000 This is Bill Clinton.
00:37:22.000 This is an interesting plate, believe it or not.
00:37:24.000 I had a hell of a time getting this.
00:37:26.000 On eBay, most of these plates are a buck.
00:37:29.000 This cost me $10, and I had to buy Hillary's book, It Takes a Village.
00:37:37.000 Oh, it took a whole village of maids and nannies to raise a child.
00:37:43.000 And here's my theory on that.
00:37:45.000 Collecting presidential plates is an old lady gig, and I think old ladies hate Bill Clinton because they know that he was a womanizer.
00:37:52.000 They've forgiven JFK for some reason.
00:37:54.000 Well, womanizing and raping, I guess, are two different things.
00:37:57.000 So you'll notice when you go on eBay and you try to find plates, you have to buy a Hillary book and a bunch of other crap to get a Bill Clinton plate included.
00:38:06.000 And here's just my little shelf of favorite plates.
00:38:10.000 I've got Travis Millard made this when he stole my idea for Pancake Morning.
00:38:15.000 This is my mom got this.
00:38:16.000 My mom's Scottish and Scottish people are cheap, so she probably got it at a garage sale for $2.
00:38:21.000 There's some Indian guy.
00:38:23.000 Oh, no, that's Crazy Horse.
00:38:24.000 Crazy Horse.
00:38:25.000 One of my top Indian guys.
00:38:28.000 This is a great one.
00:38:28.000 It's Norman Rockwell.
00:38:30.000 Free speech is the plate.
00:38:32.000 And it's some local villager, you know, getting up at a town hall meeting and giving his two cents about the local schools.
00:38:38.000 Then there's Nixon.
00:38:39.000 Nixon plates are cheap.
00:38:42.000 I like Nixon.
00:38:46.000 I like that Roger Stone has a back tattoo of Richard Nixon.
00:38:49.000 So we got a lot of Nixon here for some reason.
00:38:52.000 This guy, Lyndon B. Johnson, we've already shown him, Ted Kennedy.
00:38:56.000 You're going to see a lot of repeats.
00:38:59.000 This is the Saint of presidents, Saint Presidente, who is what the name comes from, and also the beer.
00:39:06.000 And he was the president of his small town near Bethlehem, and he sort of came up with the whole idea.
00:39:16.000 Moving down the line, we have some lump of crap that my kid made.
00:39:21.000 Oops.
00:39:23.000 And then we've got some more presidents tucked away.
00:39:25.000 They're hiding.
00:39:26.000 Who's this little...
00:39:31.000 This was Eleanor Roosevelt's husband.
00:39:32.000 And he rode in airplanes, and he was in a bunch of wars and stuff.
00:39:37.000 I'm Canadian in English, so there may be others who have a little more historical knowledge.
00:39:43.000 Then there's this guy, Andrew Jackson.
00:39:45.000 Ooh, he's the guy with the sticks that would beat the crap out of everyone.
00:39:49.000 He may have even come up with the saying, walk softly and carry a big stick.
00:39:53.000 I believe he was responsible for the Trail of Tears too.
00:39:55.000 In Andrew Jackson's defense, it was a violent time back then.
00:39:59.000 And I think he said to the Indians, look, do you want to assimilate?
00:40:03.000 And they said, nope.
00:40:05.000 And he said, okay, well, now then you're foreigners in a foreign land.
00:40:09.000 And they said, fine, we're not Americans.
00:40:11.000 We don't identify as Americans.
00:40:12.000 And he went, all right, well, then I'm going to have to treat you as invaders and kick your ass.
00:40:16.000 I'm not justifying the horrible card inch he did, but he did sort of lay it out for them.
00:40:22.000 I wish someone would say that to our modern American-hating refugees.
00:40:27.000 Love it or leave it, I think is what Andrew Jackson was saying.
00:40:30.000 And by the way, I was reading Glad Beck's writing about a wounded knee, I think it was, where Indians were shot in the back.
00:40:38.000 I thought, he didn't say this, but I thought it was interesting.
00:40:40.000 Why do we know about this horrible catastrophe?
00:40:43.000 Because Americans documented it.
00:40:46.000 Americans are disgusted by that, not just Indians.
00:40:48.000 And they wrote it all out.
00:40:50.000 And they've been calling for, those guys all won medals, by the way.
00:40:53.000 I don't know, what, Purple Hearts or something?
00:40:55.000 They've been calling for those medals to be revoked for a long time.
00:40:58.000 White people, brown people, Asian people, American people of all races documented that horrible catastrophe and want that wrong to be righted.
00:41:12.000 So to say it's just an example of how white people are evil is a remarkably reductivist argument.
00:41:21.000 And finally, you'll notice I don't have a Donald Trump plate.
00:41:25.000 That's because I don't think he's going to be around for a while.
00:41:27.000 It's only a matter of time before he's impeached.
00:41:29.000 And then Mike Pence will be president, and then he'll be assassinated, and then it'll be Rand Paul, and then he'll quit, and then Hillary will be president.
00:41:36.000 I read this on CNN, Sauden Newsweek.
00:41:40.000 He's not going to make it to the fourth term.
00:41:41.000 I remember in David Letterman, he said, let's just accept that we tried it and it didn't work, and it's time to move on.
00:41:46.000 Yeah, Dave, that's how it works.
00:41:48.000 People just sort of shrug and leave the podium.
00:41:52.000 George Washington again, Abe Lincoln.
00:41:55.000 This was a guy who was played by Daniel Day Lewis in a movie where they talked about his wiry hair.
00:42:00.000 He freed the slaves.
00:42:02.000 And I often say that the Civil War was not about slavery, even though if liberals are right and it is, then how about a big thank you for the 620,000 men that died ending slavery?
00:42:13.000 But I think it was just, it was him struggling to unite the union.
00:42:18.000 And I believe he said, if I could unite the union without freeing one slave, I would happily do it.
00:42:23.000 Then we got Ron Reagan in there, who everyone thought was a clown even while he was president.
00:42:28.000 And now everyone's looking back and going, that guy was pretty good.
00:42:30.000 In fact, he was kind of punk rock.
00:42:32.000 He said the difference, I don't like saying that the government spends like a drunken sailor because a drunken sailor is using his own money.
00:42:40.000 Him and Thatcher were good.
00:42:42.000 And then we got, of course, Barack Obama, who I stick in there as people walk in so they think that I don't totally hate liberals and we don't have an awkward dinner together.
00:42:57.000 Thank you all for coming.
00:42:58.000 Thank you for enjoying me on this Thanksgiving special.
00:43:01.000 And you may have noticed throughout the show that I've been telling you about life, telling you about history, telling you how to avoid problems, like I'm somehow better than you.
00:43:10.000 And I want to make it clear here that I am.
00:43:13.000 Okay?
00:43:14.000 You're lazy.
00:43:15.000 You do things like you look at a piano and you go, that looks cool.
00:43:18.000 I wish I could play.
00:43:19.000 But you don't take the time to learn the instrument.
00:43:23.000 I am superior to you.
00:43:25.000 I learn these instruments.
00:43:27.000 I master my crafts.
00:43:29.000 And so, without further to do, I'd like to play a goodbye song called, "I'm Better Than You." I'm better than you.
00:43:44.000 I'm better than you.
00:43:47.000 I learned to play piano.