Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 03, 2018


Get Off My Lawn #38 | I'd Like to Tell You About a Lunatic

Topics
hot chicks
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Trevor Michael Malice Jason Bateman Pamela Geller Razzo David Lee Ross Wendy Mullen Glaswegian Gollum Dave Yeezy Top Girls Milo Yiannopoulos Shaquille O'Neal Cormac McCarthy Farrah Fawcett Tucker Carlson Grave Concern Jimmy Kimmel Wolf Blitzer Tony Maglica and 28 more
Get Off My Lawn #108 | I.C.E. Knowin' Ya Get Off My Lawn #110 | The Devil is Nada?

Episode Stats


Length

46 minutes

Words per minute

172.02

Word count

8,045

Sentence count

811

Harmful content

Misogyny

36

sentences flagged

Toxicity

210

sentences flagged

Hate speech

59

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This week, Dave and Drew talk about the perils of being an old man and how to deal with it. They also talk about a guy who doesn't care about his kids anymore, and why it's a good thing he's not a bad guy. Also, they talk about what it's like being a dad and dealing with the fact that your kids don't really care about their dads anymore. And, of course, there's a story about how Dave almost got into a fight with his own dad. This episode is sponsored by Budweiser. Check it out here. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and other podcasting platforms. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of our employers. We are not affiliated with any of the companies mentioned in the podcast. Thank you to our sponsors, and we do not endorse any of their products, services, or products. All opinions expressed here are their own, unless otherwise stated. Just pay our fair use is our own and does not represent the views and opinions expressed by our clients. Please do not be offended if you don't like what we post on social media or other people post about it. You can reach out to us directly or through a third party. We do not own any of our content. , and we are not responsible for the use of their content, other than that content. We have no control over any of that content, unless it is compensated for such as such as or such as it is shared in any other third party service. . Thanks to our patrons have expressed their views expressed in this podcast, we have no responsibility to do so. Thanks for listening or review or review, etc., and we appreciate the support is appreciated by our patrons and we thank you for the support we receive from our patrons. or any other person s in any of your support is being compensated for this content. Thank you for your support, it helps us to support us in any way we can do so much of our work. in anyway we can be reached. - Thank you! -Dave is an amazing human being. Dave is a friend of the planet, so thank you, so much on this podcast and we really appreciate you.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I'd like to tell you about a lunatic. 0.76
00:00:03.000 This is an old friend of mine named Trevor.
00:00:06.000 We're actually not friends anymore.
00:00:10.000 It's part of being an old man. 0.98
00:00:12.000 Your friends dump you.
00:00:13.000 We broke up a few times, actually.
00:00:16.000 But we kept renewing our contract.
00:00:19.000 And then one day, we both said... Actually, he said he didn't want to renew his contract.
00:00:25.000 His annual contract.
00:00:26.000 I think with all friends, you have a fight once a year.
00:00:30.000 And then Verizon calls and goes, do you want to still be friends with this guy?
00:00:36.000 And you go, no.
00:00:37.000 All right.
00:00:38.000 Switch plans.
00:00:40.000 When you get married, you basically cut out 90% of your friends.
00:00:43.000 Because you already have a friend.
00:00:45.000 And that friend will blow you.
00:00:47.000 So the other ones pale in comparison.
00:00:52.000 But he was a good pal.
00:00:53.000 I miss him.
00:00:55.000 The few times of the day, you know, I have room to miss anyone.
00:00:59.000 I got three kids running around the house screaming, and a wife, and a job.
00:01:05.000 So, I don't really have any free time.
00:01:08.000 My wife's away right now visiting her mother, and she took the kids, so it's weird being a bachelor again.
00:01:15.000 And I guess it's during these times you go, what ever happened to my buddies?
00:01:20.000 Where are my pals?
00:01:22.000 Where are my bros?
00:01:25.000 Um, so, uh, yeah.
00:01:29.000 He's a guy, his name's Trevor, he managed Andrew WK for a while, he's, uh, he managed the hardcore band Sick of It All, um, you know, had the exact same background as me, punk rock, history, we were actually in the same maximum rock and roll.
00:01:47.000 Maximum Rock and Roll is a fanzine that reports on punk throughout the world.
00:01:53.000 And they have these things called scene reports.
00:01:55.000 And I was in the Ottawa scene report that talked about local bands.
00:01:59.000 There was Grave Concern, The Trapped, and my band, Anal Chinook.
00:02:04.000 Chinook being an Inuit word for warm wind.
00:02:07.000 And his band was in the Florida scene report.
00:02:11.000 And I'm pretty sure it was the same issue.
00:02:14.000 So that's cool.
00:02:16.000 I don't think I saved it.
00:02:17.000 Like, what are you gonna do?
00:02:17.000 Show your kids?
00:02:18.000 Your kids don't care. 1.00
00:02:21.000 Kids don't care about their dads.
00:02:23.000 You know what my dad's job was when I was a kid?
00:02:26.000 He managed fire control.
00:02:28.000 Meaning, uh...
00:02:30.000 The trajectory of missiles and stuff.
00:02:33.000 I thought he was a fireman.
00:02:35.000 I saw his business card, it said manager of fire control.
00:02:38.000 And I thought he controlled fires.
00:02:40.000 No, he worked in defense, designing weapons, and he had a PhD in physics, so it was the trajectory of the missiles.
00:02:51.000 That kind of fire!
00:02:53.000 I didn't know!
00:02:54.000 My whole life, I didn't know.
00:02:56.000 Jimmy Kimmel talks about this sometimes, how we never knew what our dads did.
00:03:00.000 Similarly, if you show your kids, hey man, I was in Maximum Rock and Roll.
00:03:05.000 They go, so?
00:03:06.000 Like, my brother, he's dating now, he's single.
00:03:09.000 And I was like, does it matter that I'm your dad?
00:03:13.000 And he goes, why?
00:03:13.000 Because of vice?
00:03:15.000 Or, like, now?
00:03:15.000 I don't know.
00:03:17.000 My far-right extremism?
00:03:20.000 Is that good or bad for you?
00:03:21.000 And he goes, dude, saying you're my brother is like telling people my brother's Wolf Blitzer.
00:03:27.000 No one cares.
00:03:29.000 That hurt.
00:03:31.000 But, um...
00:03:32.000 Yeah, Trevor was a guy, and we got along great because we had the same genetic makeup.
00:03:38.000 He was half, his mother was Glaswegian, and I was Glaswegian, and I am convinced that Scottish people have more testosterone than other people.
00:03:49.000 We're all alphas, because the betas were killed by the English.
00:03:53.000 Dr. Drew mentions this.
00:03:54.000 He says, um, the reason the Scots are brutal alcoholics... Oh my god, that made me want to get a beer so badly, it's insane.
00:04:03.000 Hey, Dave?
00:04:06.000 Yes?
00:04:06.000 Dave?
00:04:07.000 Can you get me a beer from the fridge?
00:04:09.000 Yeah.
00:04:10.000 Uh, not a Beck's. 0.73
00:04:11.000 See if there's Bud in there.
00:04:13.000 I know there's three Beck's, but those are warm.
00:04:16.000 And those are my brother's beers.
00:04:18.000 Anyway, um...
00:04:21.000 So, you know, we both had this violent, uh, uh, tough, oh my God, I just called myself a tough guy.
00:04:29.000 Gross.
00:04:30.000 But just like a confrontational demeanor.
00:04:33.000 And, and the Scots, they were at war with the English for 700 years.
00:04:38.000 So the ones who don't enjoy confrontation are deed.
00:04:41.000 And the ones that remain, we like confrontation.
00:04:44.000 I will just manifest conflict where it doesn't belong.
00:04:48.000 Sometimes with my wife, I'll just pick a fight for no reason. 1.00
00:04:52.000 If I'm away on vacation and it's, you know, an all-inclusive resort, I have to go find an enemy.
00:04:59.000 I have to have someone I dislike in order to be satisfied.
00:05:04.000 I need conflict.
00:05:05.000 My dad, his goal every time we hang out is to make me lose my temper.
00:05:11.000 I remember when I told him that my wife was pregnant with our first child, he said, been there, done that. 1.00
00:05:20.000 And I said, fuck you, obviously. 1.00
00:05:23.000 And, uh, and then he just stared at me. 1.00
00:05:26.000 And I said, I looked around the house and I said, hmm, interesting.
00:05:31.000 Huh.
00:05:31.000 Just taking it all in.
00:05:32.000 And he goes, what you mean?
00:05:34.000 And I go, I'm just, you know, looking around the house.
00:05:38.000 Sort of absorbing it all, because I'm never coming back here again, so, you know, I might as well, you know, take it all in.
00:05:46.000 And he goes, good, good reddance.
00:05:48.000 And I looked at him, and I was boxing quite a bit at the time.
00:05:51.000 This was ten years ago.
00:05:53.000 And I said, I could knock you out, old man. 1.00
00:05:56.000 I would punch you so fucking hard, you would go flying off that chair, and you'd be knocked unconscious. 1.00
00:06:02.000 And he does that, like Scottish people, when they're drunk, their legs are crossed in a gay way, and then their arms are folded on their lap, and then their heads are hunched over. 1.00
00:06:11.000 They look like Gollum.
00:06:12.000 So he's sitting there like Gollum, hunched over, like he's 150 years old.
00:06:17.000 And he just picks up his head, with his eyes half closed like a stoner, and he just goes, do your worst.
00:06:26.000 No more bud.
00:06:27.000 There's no more bud?
00:06:29.000 That blows.
00:06:30.000 Backs. 1.00
00:06:31.000 It's one of those stupid European beers that's considered PBR over there, but it's considered classy here. 1.00
00:06:38.000 Thank you, sir. 1.00
00:06:39.000 Yeah, do your worst.
00:06:42.000 So that's the Scottish mentality, and that's why I got along with Trev.
00:06:48.000 And I was telling my kids about him the other day.
00:06:51.000 We went to Vermont skiing, so we had a long time in the car, and I was just regaling them, and I realized how many great stories
00:06:59.000 There are with that guy.
00:07:00.000 For example!
00:07:04.000 The year was 2002, and we were in the East Village.
00:07:10.000 We were at a gay bar on 2nd and 2nd.
00:07:13.000 There's a lot of gay bars in these stories.
00:07:15.000 Gay bars, by the way, I cannot recommend them enough.
00:07:18.000 It's where I met my wife. 1.00
00:07:20.000 They are full of sluts. 1.00
00:07:23.000 No offense, wife. 1.00
00:07:24.000 They're full of fag hags, and fag hags are surrounded by promiscuous people called gays. 1.00
00:07:31.000 And they, so they're very okay with sex but they don't get any because they're with homosexuals. 1.00
00:07:37.000 So they see their friends having orgies every night and they go, what's the matter with me? 0.99
00:07:41.000 I'm not, I'm single.
00:07:43.000 That's where the ego strikes.
00:07:45.000 And they're not tired of being hit on, like at normal bars. 0.65
00:07:48.000 So I've been going to gay bars to meet chicks my entire adult life.
00:07:52.000 There was a bar in Montreal called Cox.
00:07:55.000 They're very creative with their names.
00:07:56.000 They're always called Cox. 0.73
00:07:58.000 The Cock is a big one in New York.
00:08:00.000 Another big one was called The Hole.
00:08:03.000 Another one right next to it was called Urge.
00:08:06.000 Oh, I got a good story about Urge.
00:08:09.000 So, uh, we're at the Hole, and you know what's funny about that bar, too? 0.57
00:08:13.000 The gays didn't like us.
00:08:15.000 It was like gentrification.
00:08:17.000 So they had their $3 beers, and they had their thing, and they went to their club, and they did their BJs, and then the straights start showing up and getting DJ gigs, because the owner likes it, because the place is packed. 0.84
00:08:28.000 And we took over this gay bar called The Hole. 0.99
00:08:32.000 The hipsters did. 0.61
00:08:32.000 This is back when hipsters weren't annoying. 0.61
00:08:36.000 And the gays fucking hated us. 1.00
00:08:38.000 They scoured at us. 1.00
00:08:40.000 On the dance floor, we're dancing around, there's chicks everywhere. 1.00
00:08:43.000 Oh! 0.99
00:08:43.000 God, maybe I'll just screw Trevor. 0.99
00:08:46.000 You know who I hung out there with once? 0.81
00:08:48.000 Jason Bateman. 0.97
00:08:50.000 This is why I hate this guy.
00:08:52.000 So David Cross was doing Arrested Development, and he brings around Jason Bateman.
00:08:57.000 Jason Bateman is an L.A.
00:08:58.000 person.
00:08:59.000 L.A.
00:08:59.000 people don't fit in New York.
00:09:01.000 They don't belong here. 0.95
00:09:03.000 They're phony. 0.99
00:09:04.000 They don't like rats. 0.98
00:09:06.000 You know what I mean?
00:09:08.000 Like, they're too clean.
00:09:09.000 They don't get filth. 1.00
00:09:11.000 They probably don't eat ass. 1.00
00:09:14.000 So he's there at the hole and it was just a great night. 0.99
00:09:18.000 If you want to know the quintessential person who sums up that vibe, go look up Judy Rosen and her clothing brand, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
00:09:27.000 That's the kind of vibe it was. 0.97
00:09:29.000 And just hot chicks dressed great with stilettos on and fucking kooky hair and sort of like the Accelerator Girls in the old ZZ Top videos, you know, like fingerless fishnet gloves and mini skirts and short shorts and Garfield t-shirts, just fucking fun. 1.00
00:09:47.000 And he goes, let's get out of here. 0.98
00:09:50.000 And I go, pardonne-moi?
00:09:52.000 You want to get out of here?
00:09:54.000 And he goes, yeah, I mean, why don't we be at a bar where we can, you know, look at hot chicks? 1.00
00:10:00.000 And I go, uh, do we have the same eyeballs?
00:10:04.000 There's nothing but hot chicks in this bar. 1.00
00:10:06.000 We're in heaven, dude.
00:10:09.000 And he was uncomfortable there, and the music was blaring, and it was Fisherspoon or something.
00:10:12.000 I think it was basically too cool for him.
00:10:14.000 Sorry. 0.72
00:10:15.000 Then later on, he did one of the gayest things. 0.99
00:10:18.000 Gayer than, I like your new sunglasses! 0.91
00:10:21.000 Which is probably the gayest experience of my life. 1.00
00:10:24.000 He goes, how much would you pay me to go and dance on that speaker over there?
00:10:31.000 Can you believe that?
00:10:33.000 Is there a gayer sentence on earth? 1.00
00:10:37.000 I don't think I would like to blow my boyfriend and lick his balls. 1.00
00:10:41.000 I don't think that sentence is as gay as, how much would you pay me to go dance on the speakers? 1.00
00:10:49.000 Dude, I don't care if you go get up on the speakers and blow your head off. 0.99
00:10:53.000 So how much would I pay you? 0.97
00:10:55.000 What are you talking about?
00:10:57.000 Such an L.A.
00:10:58.000 thing to say.
00:10:59.000 So I felt sorry for him when he said that.
00:11:02.000 I thought, oh, he's uncomfortable, fish out of water.
00:11:06.000 So I said, sure, five bucks.
00:11:07.000 And I gave him five bucks.
00:11:09.000 I think some other people gave money.
00:11:10.000 But not like, ho, ho, ho, let's go see a dance.
00:11:13.000 It was, you just said something super embarrassing.
00:11:15.000 You're David's friend.
00:11:17.000 Here's some money.
00:11:18.000 Let's move this moment into the past.
00:11:21.000 All right?
00:11:21.000 Here's five bucks.
00:11:22.000 I don't care.
00:11:24.000 So about 20 minutes later, I see him again, back, you know, in the same spot.
00:11:29.000 And I go, so what's going on?
00:11:30.000 And he goes, oh, I didn't dance on the speaker. 1.00
00:11:32.000 Oh yeah, that stupid thing. 1.00
00:11:34.000 And I go, what happened there? 1.00
00:11:36.000 And he goes, Michael, what the hell's his name?
00:11:39.000 Michael Malice?
00:11:40.000 Not Michael Malice, that's my friend.
00:11:42.000 The guy from the Village Voice, Michael gay man with curly hair and glasses who does the hot gossip column.
00:11:49.000 I think he works at Paper too.
00:11:51.000 He goes Michael what's his name was there and I so I thought oh, I'm not doing that now It's gonna end up right in the gossip pages So that's even worse now than suggesting such a queer thing is that he chickened out so I want my five bucks back And I got my five bucks back 0.97
00:12:08.000 Anyway, that was a tangent to talk about a night we were there.
00:12:12.000 We go outside and so now we're near Mars Bar.
00:12:16.000 Mars Bar is no longer there.
00:12:18.000 I think there's a TD Bank there now.
00:12:21.000 This is 2nd Street and 2nd Avenue in New York City. 0.92
00:12:24.000 A disgusting bar. 0.78
00:12:26.000 It's the only place I ever saw cockroaches in a toilet. 0.99
00:12:32.000 There was cockroaches in the actual basin. 0.99
00:12:35.000 Junkies there all the time.
00:12:36.000 My friend Trace went there once in a suit and all these fake, you know, punks were staring at him cause he's the man.
00:12:46.000 And uh, they started to, again, this is another tangent.
00:12:49.000 I've only gone about 10 feet down the street.
00:12:51.000 I want to have a third tangent.
00:12:52.000 I'm not even getting to Trevor.
00:12:55.000 So Trace is in there and these punk rockers are mad at a dude in a suit. 0.87
00:13:00.000 Meanwhile, Trace is going to punk shows in like 1982.
00:13:04.000 Um, when he was 12.
00:13:06.000 So, uh, uh, they start, like, walking by him and bumping into him.
00:13:12.000 What is this, a movie? 1.00
00:13:13.000 You think the guy in the suit is the man, you stupid idiot? 1.00
00:13:18.000 So they keep picking a fight with him, and eventually someone goes, you don't belong here. 1.00
00:13:22.000 And Trace stands up.
00:13:23.000 He's called Trace, by the way, because he's the third kid.
00:13:26.000 Unos, dos, tres.
00:13:27.000 He's from Texas.
00:13:28.000 And he's a tough guy.
00:13:30.000 He beat me up once.
00:13:32.000 He, uh, he picks up the guy by the neck, lifts him off his chair, and walks him outside by his neck. 0.99
00:13:39.000 And then he holds him up against the wall, and he goes, What the fuck are you saying to me, child? 0.99
00:13:44.000 What do you want me to do, child? 0.99
00:13:47.000 And all the guy's buddies come out with him and don't beat up Trace.
00:13:51.000 They just stand in a semicircle around the strangling.
00:13:54.000 And he said, I wasn't there for this, but he said the only thing any of them did was one of them in the crowd goes, who calls anyone child?
00:14:04.000 That was their retaliation.
00:14:09.000 I'll tell you who calls people child.
00:14:11.000 A guy who's strangling your friend.
00:14:13.000 That's who calls people child.
00:14:15.000 And it's a weird, cool thing to say when you're strangling someone, by the way.
00:14:20.000 You don't want to be normal when you're murdering someone. 0.80
00:14:22.000 You don't want to go, you were mean to me and I'm strangling you now. 0.91
00:14:26.000 You want to say, what's the problem, child?
00:14:29.000 You know, like De Niro in Cape Fear.
00:14:32.000 Afternoon, counselor! 0.82
00:14:35.000 You want to be unusual when you're being deadly.
00:14:40.000 Okay, third tangent. 0.83
00:14:42.000 So there was another gay bar next to the hole called The Urge. 0.98
00:14:45.000 And we all had to piss. 0.95
00:14:46.000 And there's only two bathrooms there.
00:14:48.000 By the way, the bottom of the door was gone in the bathroom.
00:14:51.000 And sometimes we'd horse around with ladies in the bathroom and do drugs. 0.99
00:14:55.000 And they could see your feet.
00:14:56.000 They could just look at you horsing around.
00:14:59.000 Uh, so the lineup to the bathroom was insane because people aren't just using the bathroom for number two, they're using it for cocaine.
00:15:06.000 So I go, let's just go to the next door to The Urge.
00:15:09.000 And, uh, I was with Wendy Mullen and a skater dude named, uh, Tino?
00:15:17.000 Uh, I forget his name.
00:15:19.000 Razzo.
00:15:20.000 One of the Razzo brothers.
00:15:21.000 They were like these cool skater kids that would hang out at Max Fish.
00:15:24.000 Probably still do.
00:15:25.000 And, uh,
00:15:27.000 I go, let's just go to The Urge next door.
00:15:28.000 We can piss there.
00:15:31.000 And so I took like three people out of the line. 0.98
00:15:34.000 And then Wendy goes, it's a pretty intense gay bar, dude. 1.00
00:15:36.000 And I go, what are you, a fag? 1.00
00:15:39.000 You're scared of gay bars? 1.00
00:15:41.000 I can handle... It was sort of like in Withnail and I, where he goes, balls! 1.00
00:15:45.000 I'll take twice the dosage and run a mile! 0.98
00:15:48.000 So I was being arrogant.
00:15:50.000 And I said, I'm fine with the urge.
00:15:52.000 They go, okay.
00:15:54.000 So we walk in.
00:15:55.000 This bar, like I was talking about gay bars earlier, I was talking about pretty milquetoast gay bars. 0.97
00:16:03.000 Like just a bunch of gays. 1.00
00:16:05.000 This bar was for perverts. 1.00
00:16:08.000 This was a disgusting place that was way over my head. 1.00
00:16:12.000 I could not run a mile, as Withnail would say. 0.99
00:16:15.000 Walk in there, and there's these strippers, male strippers, dancing on the actual bar. 0.96
00:16:22.000 There's no, like, strip- it's a strip club, I guess, but there's no strip club stage.
00:16:26.000 So they just run around the bar, like, standing over- on your drinks.
00:16:30.000 And I look, it's a circular bar.
00:16:33.000 A big O.
00:16:34.000 And I look at the other side of the bar and there's a guy there, a black guy, he looks like a linebacker dressed up as a chick as a joke. 0.93
00:16:41.000 He's got a blonde wig on and a strappy dress and he looks like Shaquille O'Neal.
00:16:49.000 There's nothing remotely feminine about him, but he's just sitting there having a beer staring straight ahead.
00:16:54.000 And then there's this Puerto Rican dude.
00:16:56.000 He has on new Timberlands.
00:16:57.000 He's burned in my retina.
00:16:59.000 I can still see him.
00:17:01.000 He's got on brand new Timberlands.
00:17:02.000 He's got a white jockstrap on and a brand new white Yankees hat.
00:17:06.000 And he's dancing around and his eyes...
00:17:08.000 They're the eyes of a dead man. 1.00
00:17:12.000 You know the term, you've had your brains fucked out? 1.00
00:17:15.000 I think this had happened to him. 1.00
00:17:17.000 He'd had so much sex that he was vapid.
00:17:21.000 I'm sorry if you're listening to this in the car with your kids in the back. 0.83
00:17:25.000 I hope they're asleep.
00:17:26.000 But yeah, he was dead to the world.
00:17:30.000 And he was dancing around with his arms all floppy.
00:17:32.000 And it was like Weekend at Bernie's meets a strip club. 0.95
00:17:36.000 Meets rampant homosexuality. 0.99
00:17:39.000 So I'm still laughing though. 1.00
00:17:41.000 And I'm still like, I can handle this, you pussies. 1.00
00:17:43.000 Go ahead. 1.00
00:17:43.000 Go pee. 1.00
00:17:43.000 I'm going to hang out here. 1.00
00:17:45.000 So this guy who looks like Zeus comes along.
00:17:48.000 He's wearing Speedos and cowboy boots, and he's very muscular.
00:17:51.000 And he comes dancing over to me.
00:17:53.000 And he's, like, gyrating and pumping.
00:17:55.000 And I go, woo!
00:17:57.000 I love it!
00:17:57.000 Yeah!
00:17:58.000 And I grabbed five bucks.
00:18:00.000 I've now spent ten bucks tonight.
00:18:02.000 I put five bucks in his Speedo.
00:18:05.000 And that's around then I realized I'm in over my head. 0.92
00:18:08.000 Because as I pulled out his Speedo, the heat from his balls was like that Van Halen song where David Lee Ross says, I can barely see the road with the heat coming off. 0.99
00:18:20.000 Like, there was hot vapors coming from his genitalia. 0.99
00:18:25.000 And when I put the $5 in there, it was like putting $5 in an oven. 0.98
00:18:29.000 It was like molten lava.
00:18:33.000 And I realized, uh-oh, this is weird and gross.
00:18:37.000 And I don't think people usually would put $5 in.
00:18:39.000 I think they might flick a penny in there, usually, because he was staring at me after that.
00:18:43.000 And I think we were dating.
00:18:45.000 It was like in Uzbekistan when you, you know, put a potato in a woman's purse, it means I love you.
00:18:51.000 So I had made some sort of marriage bond that I didn't know of.
00:18:55.000 So he's locked on me now.
00:18:57.000 And he's dancing and pumping on the stage and gyrating, probably drunk and high.
00:19:01.000 And, uh...
00:19:06.000 He keeps staring at me the entire dance and Razzo brother goes, let's get out of here, and I'm thinking yeah, let's get out of here I don't I'd rather pee my pants.
00:19:15.000 I'm fine with the bathroom Let's not wait in line here, and this guy's still staring me, and then one of the weirdest things I've ever seen happened
00:19:24.000 He dances over to where the linebacker is and he starts moving his hips and then he pulls the back of his black Speedos off to the side. 0.98
00:19:35.000 So now his buttocks are exposed and his anus is free to breathe. 0.98
00:19:41.000 Uh, his anus, by the way, must look like a baby yawning because what he did next has to be seen to be believed. 0.98
00:19:50.000 You're gonna think I'm lying and I'm fine with that. 0.99
00:19:54.000 He starts moving his hips and slowly lowering his body.
00:19:59.000 Uh, excuse me sir, there's a beer bottle right there.
00:20:03.000 No problem!
00:20:03.000 I'm gonna stay with my eyes locked on Gavin, and slowly move my hips right, left, right, left, lower, lower, lower, lower.
00:20:10.000 Sir!
00:20:11.000 Sir! 0.98
00:20:11.000 You're gonna sit on the beer bo- Without looking at it, he sat down on the beer bottle, his anal lips grabbed the top part of the bottle, 0.98
00:20:27.000 Then clenched, then he stood up and lifted the beer bottle with his anus. 0.97
00:20:35.000 Lifted it up, stood up, took out the beer, and had a swig. 0.97
00:20:40.000 Which, people think that's the gross part.
00:20:42.000 No, no, no, no. 0.99
00:20:43.000 The gross part is that your anus is a hand. 0.99
00:20:46.000 That's the freaky part. 0.99
00:20:48.000 Not that you drank slightly pooey beer.
00:20:56.000 So we went back to the club.
00:20:56.000 Anyway, those tangents are better than the original story.
00:20:59.000 As is always the case with tangents, as Cormac McCarthy said in The Road, there is no joy at the tavern as great as the road thereto.
00:21:11.000 That really is my motto.
00:21:14.000 So,
00:21:16.000 We go next door, next to Mars Bar.
00:21:20.000 We're by the hole.
00:21:21.000 This is all second and second.
00:21:22.000 Don't bother going there now.
00:21:23.000 It's all banks.
00:21:25.000 But next to Mars Bar was a building that was totally empty.
00:21:30.000 And the door had a chain on it, but you could squeeze in.
00:21:35.000 And so we're checking it out, and this dude pops his head out.
00:21:39.000 And it's an NYU student.
00:21:40.000 I can just tell he's an NYU student, right?
00:21:42.000 It's like the only guy not covered in dirt in New York City.
00:21:46.000 Not high on heroin.
00:21:48.000 A clean kid from Nebraska.
00:21:50.000 And he's got a big flashlight like a... Oh my god, who's my favorite guy?
00:21:55.000 Maglite.
00:21:56.000 Tony Maglica.
00:21:57.000 Maglite flashlight.
00:21:58.000 And he goes, hey!
00:22:00.000 Come here!
00:22:01.000 And so I'm with Trevor.
00:22:02.000 I should describe Trevor, by the way.
00:22:04.000 He's like 6'2", very broad-shouldered.
00:22:08.000 He looked like a coke machine.
00:22:09.000 He was probably, you know, genetically designed to fight the English in the moors of Scotland.
00:22:14.000 He looks like Braveheart.
00:22:15.000 He's got a... His chest is completely covered in tattoos.
00:22:18.000 His arms are full-sleeve tattoos.
00:22:21.000 He's got a crew cut.
00:22:23.000 Handsome chap.
00:22:24.000 Brawler.
00:22:26.000 You know, a very intimidating looking gentleman.
00:22:28.000 He looks like a bouncer, really.
00:22:31.000 Blonde, you know, kind of hair.
00:22:33.000 Um, like a handsome me.
00:22:35.000 But he also, he also, by the way, has kind of dark circles under his eyes.
00:22:40.000 You know, like a hemophiliac has. 0.99
00:22:42.000 And, uh, I remember going, what the fuck's with your eyes? 1.00
00:22:45.000 And he goes, yeah, when I was managing sick of it all, they used to call me asshole eyes. 1.00
00:22:50.000 That's a funny thing, by the way, about New York hardcore. 0.89
00:22:54.000 All these bands like Cro-Mags, and Agnostic Front, and Sheer Tear, and all those old guys who hang out at CBGBs in the 80s, and DMS, and they hang out at Handsome Dick Manitobas now.
00:23:08.000 Very scary dudes. 0.54
00:23:09.000 Murderers, basically. 0.72
00:23:11.000 All hilarious.
00:23:13.000 You wouldn't think so.
00:23:15.000 But maybe it's being in a tour van for 11 months of the year?
00:23:18.000 You hone your comedy.
00:23:20.000 So all these scary bands that sound like a cacophony, if you put in the cassette player, are actually super witty dudes. 0.99
00:23:28.000 And they would call Trevor asshole eyes. 0.98
00:23:32.000 One time, one of the guys in the band went to their record label and had a meeting. 0.99
00:23:39.000 And he goes, Hey man, we have some tour footage.
00:23:41.000 It's mostly of Trevor, but I think we should maybe make it a video or something.
00:23:45.000 It's some really interesting footage.
00:23:47.000 And he puts in the VHS tape.
00:23:49.000 And it's, he's edited lurch from Addams Family, you know that guy? 0.99
00:23:55.000 Like the butler who's eight feet tall and has those dark asshole eyes? 0.95
00:24:00.000 He's edited clips from the Addams Family and to just be lurch. 0.98
00:24:05.000 So it's every time lurch has appeared on the show on a VHS tape.
00:24:10.000 And that was his stab at Trevor.
00:24:15.000 How funny is that?
00:24:16.000 This is a band, like, if you go look up Sick of It All, you'll just hear noise, and funny is the last thing you'd think they'd be.
00:24:24.000 They're Iranian dudes, by the way.
00:24:28.000 So, uh, I'm with Trevor.
00:24:30.000 And we were at Mars Bar, we're at the Hole, he's probably having a cigarette, and I don't smoke, and this NYU kid goes, come here, come here!
00:24:38.000 So I go, sure.
00:24:39.000 I can, you know, I have street smarts, so I can tell the guy is just a rich kid who's gone exploring, and he wants to show us something cool.
00:24:45.000 Yeah, yeah!
00:24:47.000 So we go through the chain, into this building, and Trevor reluctantly follows. 1.00
00:24:52.000 The thing about Trevor is, he's violent, I've seen him beat up people, he's tough, yet also a pussy. 1.00
00:24:59.000 You know those kind of guys? 1.00
00:25:00.000 Like, I'm scared, I don't want to fight!
00:25:02.000 And then they fight, and the guy's in the hospital. 0.99
00:25:05.000 Like big, huge, scary pussies. 1.00
00:25:09.000 I don't think he would mind if I said that. 0.99
00:25:11.000 He'd probably agree with me.
00:25:12.000 One time, another tangent, he was like, I gotta go catch up with some work.
00:25:16.000 I'm gonna rent a... He talks like a black guy, by the way, because in Florida they had this stupid busing thing. 0.99
00:25:23.000 When they would take white kids and send them to black schools. 1.00
00:25:27.000 So he's real sensitive about the n-word. 0.87
00:25:29.000 And he says, yo, know what I'm saying?
00:25:30.000 Yo, yo, with all due respect, not for nothing, you know, if you will, you know those black mannerisms where they take fancy white talk and stick it in a sentence? 1.00
00:25:42.000 For all things considered, if you will, I basically want to conversate with you. 0.82
00:25:48.000 I said, what did you learn going to those black schools, besides how to fight? 1.00
00:25:53.000 And he goes, fighting is a very important skill, yo. 0.98
00:25:56.000 So anyway.
00:25:57.000 Uh, he's very reluctant and we go into this abandoned building and we go, we start going up these creaky steps in total pitch blackness outside of this flashlight and it was right out of a movie, like it was such a set.
00:26:09.000 We go up, up the stairs and then he shines a flashlight and we see a mattress on the floor and a little side table with a little candle that's been blown out and, you know, some bric-a-brac and a toothbrush and we realize, this is a bum's house! 1.00
00:26:24.000 This is a squat, we're in a squat!
00:26:26.000 Bums live here. 0.99
00:26:28.000 And then we go up another set of stairs and we see other rooms and we realize this is a whole bum complex. 1.00
00:26:34.000 And we go up another floor and we see, as we're looking around, we see fucking eyes staring back at us. 1.00
00:26:39.000 Oh shit! 1.00
00:26:40.000 And we run downstairs. 1.00
00:26:43.000 Some dude was home.
00:26:45.000 And then he goes, so we go to run out the front door and he goes, wait, wait, wait.
00:26:49.000 That's not all.
00:26:50.000 That's just one division.
00:26:51.000 There's a whole other world.
00:26:53.000 Come here.
00:26:54.000 So we go, okay.
00:26:56.000 And this is second and second in New York City, right off of Houston Street.
00:27:01.000 Prime real estate.
00:27:02.000 The building couldn't be worth less than $10 million.
00:27:06.000 And it was totally empty. 0.90
00:27:07.000 So you know it's some mentally ill Italian fighting with his siblings over who gets to sell it or something. 1.00
00:27:13.000 So it's been sold now. 0.98
00:27:15.000 The free market caught up to this place.
00:27:20.000 So, God, Bex is so carbonated.
00:27:24.000 It's like drinking foam.
00:27:26.000 So, uh, we go, he goes, come over here.
00:27:31.000 So with the flashlight, he takes us to another room.
00:27:32.000 There's a pool.
00:27:34.000 There's a pool in this building, inside the building.
00:27:38.000 It's obviously empty and the tiles are all chipped off and stuff.
00:27:41.000 And I realize we're in a high school.
00:27:44.000 This was a high school, a public school back when, you know, in the 80s when New York was a war zone.
00:27:50.000 I guess kids still had to go to school.
00:27:52.000 And I guess they had a pool.
00:27:54.000 I guess they were doing okay in the East Village.
00:27:57.000 And then he takes us to another room, opens the door.
00:28:01.000 There's a giant gymnasium in front of us.
00:28:05.000 How the hell is this in a building in New York?
00:28:09.000 And I see, happy graduation!
00:28:12.000 And I think the number 85 was there, like class of 85? 0.97
00:28:15.000 So this went back to the goddamn 80s?
00:28:18.000 And there's a piano there, and it was set up, it hadn't changed since prom of 85. 0.96
00:28:23.000 There's a piano there, covered in dust.
00:28:26.000 Everything is covered in dust.
00:28:29.000 And then the guy goes, that's nothing, check this out. 0.99
00:28:34.000 So my mind is now gone, dripped out of my ears, it's on the floor, I've seen a gay pick up his beer bottle with his anus, seen Jason Bateman, waste my time. 1.00
00:28:44.000 Isn't it interesting that the celebrity in this story is the least interesting part of the entire story? 0.97
00:28:49.000 There's a moral there for you, kiddies.
00:28:52.000 And he goes, come downstairs.
00:28:55.000 Downstairs?
00:28:57.000 So we head downstairs, and this is, I think this is the weirdest part, and it's not a very weird part, but as we started to go down these steps, again, blackness, the light, the flashlight's all you see.
00:29:07.000 You know that chick who got killed by an Uber, a self-driving Uber car? 0.95
00:29:11.000 You know how you just see her for a split second before the car hits her?
00:29:14.000 That's the kind of light we were dealing with.
00:29:16.000 So if the flashlight isn't on you, it's pitch black.
00:29:19.000 Which is kind of a cool way to see things, because it keeps you focused.
00:29:23.000 The myopic lens of this NYU kid's maglite.
00:29:27.000 So, as we're walking down the stairs, someone comes up the stairs, and he's got a Ramones shirt on.
00:29:33.000 It's a punk rocker, who's like, who looked like Joey Ramone, actually.
00:29:37.000 Maybe it was.
00:29:38.000 It's an old punk rocker who just lives down these steps in this weird cavernous squat, these tombs, sort of like in Turkey.
00:29:47.000 You know how they have those underground societies, where if people would come in through the front, they'd pour boiling oil on them, and they had, you know, tunnel after tunnel
00:29:57.000 And that's what was going on in New York City!
00:30:10.000 So this guy comes up the stairs and we keep going down and we're seeing like rooms upon rooms.
00:30:16.000 So this was the basement of the school, I guess.
00:30:19.000 And there was hundreds of people living there.
00:30:22.000 It was like it was Wakanda for homeless people. 0.88
00:30:25.000 So it was like Wakanda with beer and piss smell. 0.64
00:30:30.000 Underground now we didn't get it to see a lot of people.
00:30:32.000 This was probably only 11 p.m So I guess everyone was out forging for aluminum cans, so we only saw maybe like 10 people You know scooped by the flashlight briefly in the darkness.
00:30:42.000 Who's that?
00:30:43.000 And we kept going.
00:30:45.000 It seemed like there was at least three floors down of stairs.
00:30:48.000 So then we finally get to the bottom.
00:30:50.000 He goes, this is the weirdest part.
00:30:52.000 And there was a boiler in there.
00:30:54.000 I guess it was hot water for the whole building.
00:30:56.000 It was as big as three Range Rovers.
00:31:02.000 It was a very, very long, fat boiler that would keep enough water for a hundred million showers.
00:31:10.000 And he goes, come under here.
00:31:12.000 So we crawl underneath the boiler, hands and knees in the dirt, and we get out there. 0.96
00:31:18.000 And we're on the other side, and it's just, there's a few mattresses and stuff, but there's just a huge fucking room. 0.58
00:31:25.000 Three floors below New York City, as big as a gymnasium, just a gigantic room, like a squat, where bums would live. 1.00
00:31:34.000 Maybe they couldn't sell it because the bums had squatters rights or something. 0.97
00:31:38.000 And I'm just like, the guy's shining his flashlight and I'm like, this is incredible!
00:31:44.000 How is this here?
00:31:45.000 I mean, a one bedroom apartment was, even back then, was like $2,700 a month.
00:31:50.000 And here I am just looking at a loft.
00:31:56.000 And this is the funny part.
00:32:00.000 Trevor starts getting sketched out.
00:32:03.000 He becomes convinced that this NYU student is hired to take people to a secret room where they get gang raped.
00:32:14.000 Why?
00:32:14.000 Why would this kid wearing a fresh sweatshirt and J. Crew khakis devote his life to getting gang rape victims?
00:32:27.000 Not a big market for that, Trev.
00:32:29.000 But he starts getting really nervous and scared. 0.89
00:32:31.000 And he's like, yo, we gotta get the fuck out of here, yo. 0.93
00:32:33.000 No, no, no. 0.76
00:32:34.000 This is... We gotta go up now!
00:32:36.000 You gotta take us up now!
00:32:37.000 We don't wanna be here anymore!
00:32:38.000 We gotta get up now!
00:32:39.000 Now, he's a big guy.
00:32:41.000 Very tattooed.
00:32:42.000 With his crew cut, he looks like a professional wrestler, basically.
00:32:48.000 And so he's scaring my NYU kid.
00:32:51.000 And the kid's like, oh, OK, you can go up.
00:32:53.000 And he goes, no, no, we got to get up now!
00:32:54.000 We got to get up now!
00:32:56.000 And then he's in full panic mode. 0.93
00:32:59.000 He goes, we got to get the fuck out of here! 0.76
00:33:01.000 And I'm like, calm down, dude. 0.94
00:33:03.000 And the other guy's like, oh! 1.00
00:33:05.000 And Trevor goes, fuck this! 1.00
00:33:07.000 And he just runs. 1.00
00:33:08.000 He crawls underneath the boiler and darts up the stairs.
00:33:11.000 Meanwhile, by the way, this school has been abandoned for three decades. 1.00
00:33:18.000 So the stairs are shit. 0.99
00:33:20.000 There's holes everywhere. 0.99
00:33:21.000 You don't want to go running out.
00:33:23.000 So he, as he's running, he gets lost. 0.98
00:33:25.000 He's like, where the fuck am I? 0.98
00:33:27.000 Where am I? 0.99
00:33:28.000 Where am I?
00:33:29.000 And then he says to the NYU kid, he goes, dude, you gotta get- And then he wants to ingratiate himself back with the guy he just scared, because that guy has the only key out of there.
00:33:37.000 He knows the secret route, which, by the way, is just up the stairs.
00:33:40.000 He got lost because he was panicked.
00:33:42.000 And uh, he goes, dude, dude, you gotta help me up.
00:33:44.000 You gotta help me up.
00:33:45.000 You gotta get me up here.
00:33:46.000 And the guy goes, I'm helping you.
00:33:48.000 We're going to go back up.
00:33:49.000 We're going to, and he goes, you gotta help me.
00:33:50.000 He goes, and this is my, one of my favorite lines of my entire life.
00:33:54.000 He goes, I know girls up there. 1.00
00:33:56.000 They have beer. 0.50
00:33:59.000 In his hysteria, as a last desperate attempt to have this guy not rape us, he said,
00:34:08.000 I know girls up there, they have beer. 1.00
00:34:12.000 Is that the best line you've ever heard?
00:34:15.000 He was trying to create a mirage.
00:34:19.000 And he was thinking, what does every guy want?
00:34:21.000 I know, chicks and beer. 1.00
00:34:24.000 So I'm gonna pretend.
00:34:25.000 That there's two girls, up on 2nd and 2nd, by the Mars Bar, wearing Budweiser one-piece bathing suits, with feathered Farrah Fawcett hair, standing over a large cooler, an old-fashioned aluminum cooler, full of icy beers.
00:34:43.000 Because beers are so rare.
00:34:44.000 Meanwhile, Mars Bar and The Hole and The Urge, beers are like three bucks.
00:34:49.000 It's the gay section of town.
00:34:51.000 So it's not that appealing.
00:34:53.000 And girls, I don't know, we're in New York City.
00:34:56.000 Not so rare.
00:34:57.000 So this guy was even more scared now because such a bizarre scenario was just portrayed.
00:35:04.000 I know girls up there, they have beer. 1.00
00:35:07.000 I mean, he laughed about it later.
00:35:14.000 Not long after that, there was a thing that was big in the early aughts called Electro Clash.
00:35:21.000 And it was great.
00:35:22.000 It's got a bad rap now.
00:35:23.000 It's seen as uncool.
00:35:24.000 I thought it was awesome.
00:35:26.000 There was great bands like Fisher Spooner and Chromio were kind of part of that.
00:35:31.000 A.R.E.
00:35:32.000 Weapons.
00:35:35.000 And they were talented musicians who were on a kind of an 80s kick.
00:35:39.000 And they used synthesizers and they made electro dance music that was kind of pop also.
00:35:45.000 Very synth-oriented music.
00:35:47.000 And they'd wear, you know, suits and slick their hair back like Kraftwerk.
00:35:50.000 And the girls looked awesome, you know, with their hair over to one side. 1.00
00:35:58.000 And again with the Accelerators, Yeezy Top Girls, very 80s kind of a vibe, you know?
00:36:02.000 Bolero ties and weird shit and there was this fashion label called As For that had these circular purses and everything was sort of futuristic.
00:36:11.000 It was great and it was set to be that decade's thing. 0.86
00:36:15.000 Like there was rap in the 80s, there was punk in the 70s.
00:36:19.000 There's gonna be electroclash in the early aughts, but I think young people were so, uh... What's the word, uh... Oh my god, my mind just totally had a brain fart.
00:36:32.000 Uh, scaffolded, brazen, uh, wizard, withened, uh, scolded, uh, what's that word when you've like, you're over it? 0.50
00:36:43.000 What the hell's the matter with my brain? 0.98
00:36:44.000 Jaded! 1.00
00:36:46.000 They were jaded.
00:36:46.000 Scaffolded.
00:36:47.000 Yeah, after, you know, working on the repointing buildings and redoing brickwork, they became scaffolded after a while, and they no longer wanted to work on the exterior of your old building.
00:36:59.000 No, jaded.
00:37:00.000 They were jaded by the commodification of youth culture and they didn't like that electroclash was becoming a thing and there was sort of a backlash against electroclash.
00:37:08.000 There was this guy Larry T who was obsessed with it and he copyrighted the name.
00:37:13.000 I think he was in a cult.
00:37:14.000 That's a whole other podcast but there was this weird cult called Landmark that was big in the early aughts and it was mostly populated by gays for some reason.
00:37:24.000 And these gays would go to these weird cult meetings where you were in a room with too much heat and barely any light for like 12 hours. 0.99
00:37:35.000 It was like Scientology.
00:37:36.000 And you would sit there and get these lectures.
00:37:39.000 And this cult, they didn't want your money by the way.
00:37:42.000 They wanted you to spend all your money on your dream.
00:37:46.000 So say you want to open a pizza place, borrow all the money you can from your relatives and blow it all on this pizza place and work there 15 hours a day.
00:37:54.000 I guess that's kind of cool as far as cults go.
00:37:57.000 But his was electroclash, so he copyrighted the term, you know, and he spent... I remember Chicks on Speed were an electroclash band that he flew down from Europe.
00:38:06.000 That cost him like 10 grand. 0.91
00:38:08.000 He was gay and 0.95
00:38:11.000 He was a great part of Electroclash.
00:38:12.000 He was cool. 0.98
00:38:13.000 He had these Electroclash festivals, but ultimately, gays ruined it. 1.00
00:38:18.000 There was a dude called the Gay Pimp, and his band obviously sucked, and it was just him lip-syncing, or no, singing over pre-recorded dance beats with a bunch of gays on stage, gyrating around in like Speedos. 1.00
00:38:34.000 And, uh, it was infantile garbage. 1.00
00:38:36.000 A lot of gay culture is crap, by the way. 1.00
00:38:38.000 I mean, if you go to a drag queen restaurant, as I did with Pamela Geller and Milo Yiannopoulos, which was... that's a whole other story. 1.00
00:38:47.000 It was so crap that I go to Pamela. 0.99
00:38:50.000 This is sexist. 1.00
00:38:52.000 She goes, yeah, I know.
00:38:53.000 I go, this is like a parody of what it is to be a woman. 1.00
00:38:55.000 And it's just a bunch of ugly men with too much makeup on and wigs screaming along and lip syncing to top 10 hits. 0.97
00:39:03.000 So it's like they're making fun of how women like pop music or something. 0.96
00:39:07.000 And they're wearing high heel shoes.
00:39:09.000 Like this is a parody of women. 0.99
00:39:11.000 This is a sexist place. 0.93
00:39:12.000 It's like Sambo. 0.57
00:39:13.000 It's like step and fetch it, but females. 1.00
00:39:17.000 And then, she starts getting pissed off.
00:39:20.000 And she gets up on stage, this is Pamela Geller of like, Jihad Watch. 0.55
00:39:24.000 She gets on stage, you can find this online, it made the gay press. 0.99
00:39:28.000 And starts screaming, this is a, this is an outrage, this is pathetic, what the hell are we all doing here? 1.00
00:39:34.000 This is disgusting! 1.00
00:39:36.000 You're making fun of women! 1.00
00:39:37.000 And, you know, lesbians wanted to kick her ass, ironically. 1.00
00:39:42.000 For being too feminist, I guess? 1.00
00:39:45.000 Anyway, that was a crazy moment. 1.00
00:39:46.000 But drag queen culture is obviously ridiculous, garbage, crap culture. 1.00
00:39:51.000 And reading stories to kids is beyond bizarre. 1.00
00:39:56.000 It's just crap. 1.00
00:39:57.000 It's garbage culture. 1.00
00:39:59.000 And they brought their garbage culture to Electroclash and ruined it. 1.00
00:40:04.000 And that night I was with Trevor and I go, that's it, man. 0.94
00:40:09.000 This movement just ended tonight.
00:40:11.000 And I was right, by the way.
00:40:12.000 That was the end of it.
00:40:13.000 And it's not really in the history books.
00:40:15.000 It wasn't really documented outside of Vice.
00:40:17.000 And Vice became ashamed that they were associated with it.
00:40:21.000 Uh, and I go, that's it.
00:40:23.000 So then, we're leaving, and he's pissed off.
00:40:28.000 And I think he's pissed off because he thought I was gonna be part of a thing, and that would've been cool.
00:40:33.000 Like, I could tell my grandkids, yeah, I was part of the electroclash thing.
00:40:37.000 You know, like, you could say I went to CBGBs in the 80s.
00:40:41.000 Or I was part of rap in the Bronx.
00:40:43.000 I remember the first rap parties in the Bronx in the early 80s.
00:40:48.000 Ha ha ha ha!
00:40:49.000 And the chicken tastes like wood!
00:40:50.000 And all that cool Modi stuff and Soul Train. 0.56
00:40:52.000 I was part of that.
00:40:54.000 And everyone who comes to New York, they want to have their little thing.
00:40:58.000 Like, I remember the beatniks with Jack Kerouac.
00:41:00.000 We used to hang out in the West Village.
00:41:01.000 Or I remember Philip Glass and Chuck Close when they discovered SoHo in the 60s and the 70s.
00:41:06.000 I remember the
00:41:08.000 You know, the gangs, and CBGBs, and how dangerous New York was, and then the 80s, I remember the rap movement, and it was so cool, and the Bronx finally stopped killing each other and focused on hip-hop!
00:41:18.000 And then there'd be a lecture clash.
00:41:22.000 But that was taken away from him, and this is me just projecting and assuming that this is why he's mad. 0.99
00:41:27.000 I don't have no evidence, but I think he went, fuck, those fags took away my movement. 1.00
00:41:33.000 So we get in the car, and there was a Jamaican dude, the cab driver, and he goes, where you headed? 1.00
00:41:40.000 And I don't, just a stupid joke, I go, we wanna go to your nearest gay bar! 1.00
00:41:45.000 I think I was just trying to make Trevor laugh, uh, cause he was pissed off, and I know as a fellow Scott, we get to this zone after a few makers where someone could just turn a switch and we're fucking mad as hell, like murder mad, for four hours. 0.98
00:42:02.000 And you just, it's like a bad acid trip, like you wanna pull the guy off the ledge when he gets into that zone.
00:42:06.000 So I was trying to make him laugh and I go, just take us to the nearest gay bar. 0.99
00:42:10.000 And the Jamaican dude goes, um, I don't support that, you know. 0.99
00:42:16.000 We're not, I got Babylon closing in on me, you know. 0.92
00:42:19.000 We're not gonna have the blood clot, butty boys. 0.95
00:42:23.000 And I go, I'm just kidding or whatever, I can't remember what I said, but Trevor got so fucking mad. 0.88
00:42:29.000 And this is a guy who... I remember someone was picking a fight with him, some five foot tall dude. 0.65
00:42:35.000 And he kept saying, I don't want to fight.
00:42:36.000 Yo, yo, chill out dog.
00:42:38.000 Chill out.
00:42:39.000 Yo, I don't want to fight.
00:42:40.000 I don't want to fight. 0.93
00:42:40.000 And the guy kept pushing him and then he just went... And he shoved the guy so fucking hard. 0.93
00:42:46.000 He flew down the street like an apple. 0.95
00:42:48.000 It was like someone rolled an apple down the street.
00:42:50.000 So once he snaps, it's bad.
00:42:52.000 And I could see he had snapped.
00:42:54.000 So he starts punching the plexiglass in the taxi cab.
00:43:00.000 What'd you say? 0.99
00:43:00.000 What'd you fucking say? 0.99
00:43:01.000 He's mad at the Jamaican for being homophobic at us who are not gay people. 1.00
00:43:08.000 And he's punching the plexiglass. 0.91
00:43:09.000 Now I, and the guy just starts driving, because I don't know why.
00:43:13.000 I guess he thought the centrifugal force would push us to the back of the seat.
00:43:17.000 I don't know.
00:43:18.000 And I had heard around then that cab drivers with bad customers had taken to driving to Rikers and just opening the back doors.
00:43:28.000 And then the prison guards meet you there, they pull you out of the cab, and you go to Rikers for like three days.
00:43:34.000 No thanks!
00:43:36.000 So, I don't want him to drive to Rikers.
00:43:39.000 That's a big prison in New York.
00:43:41.000 Actually, it's a jail.
00:43:42.000 Prison is more than a year.
00:43:44.000 It's a place you go while you're awaiting trial. 0.99
00:43:47.000 Big, shitty jail. 0.99
00:43:48.000 Horrible place to be, obviously. 1.00
00:43:50.000 That's what it's designed to be.
00:43:52.000 By the way, Rikers, if you're designed to be a horrible place, you're doing a great job.
00:43:57.000 That's my Yelp review of Rikers.
00:44:02.000 Now his back is on the back of the seat, and he starts kicking with his feet against the plexiglass.
00:44:07.000 And it's starting to come away on the sides from the rivets. 0.99
00:44:12.000 And I'm like, we're going to fucking Rikers. 0.96
00:44:14.000 So I do this. 0.98
00:44:16.000 We get to a red light.
00:44:17.000 I do this one move where I open up his passenger door, grab him, and I tackle him out of the car.
00:44:25.000 So we both go flying onto the street and we're rolling like lovers on the road on 2nd Avenue.
00:44:35.000 This is by Webster Hall.
00:44:37.000 Rolling on the street.
00:44:39.000 And then the guy goes, and peels out the force of moving forward, closes our passenger door, and he's off.
00:44:46.000 Then Trevor gets up and starts running towards the guy like he still wants to beat him up.
00:44:53.000 Why?
00:44:54.000 Because we're gay?
00:44:55.000 And he doesn't like that we're going to a gay bar?
00:44:58.000 We weren't going to a gay bar, by the way.
00:45:00.000 It was one of the few nights we weren't.
00:45:05.000 Jesus Christ.
00:45:07.000 But it was fun times, always fun times with T-Bone.
00:45:11.000 But he got a job at Vice after I split there and we had a party and he said, I think it would be hypocritical, yo, if I was to come to your party, you know, and acted like things was chill and y'all dog.
00:45:26.000 I'm exaggerating his accent. 0.97
00:45:28.000 But, uh, I said, that's gay, dude. 0.97
00:45:30.000 Um, I don't care where you work. 0.85
00:45:33.000 It's not a divorce.
00:45:34.000 You know, you can hang out with my ex.
00:45:37.000 Uh, they employ thousands of people.
00:45:39.000 Hundreds of people.
00:45:41.000 Um, but my wife was pissed about that. 1.00
00:45:43.000 That he didn't come to the party and that was the end of our friendship.
00:45:45.000 I mean, we correspond very occasionally.
00:45:49.000 But, uh, that's the way it goes when you're old.
00:45:51.000 There's constant divorces and you lose a friend.
00:45:53.000 But you still got those memories.
00:45:56.000 And if the person has any Scottish DNA in him, those memories are hilarious. 1.00
00:46:02.000 And you get to think of them every time you go for a long drive.
00:46:07.000 I'll see you Friday, folks. 0.99
00:46:08.000 Do I have to keep plugging all my shit? 0.78
00:46:10.000 I mean, you know it by now, right? 1.00
00:46:11.000 There's CRTV.com.
00:46:13.000 We have a daily show there called Get Off My Lawn.
00:46:16.000 I'm starting a new show with them every second Friday night called CRTV Tonight with Gavin McInnes.
00:46:21.000 It's like a talk show, news show, whatever.
00:46:24.000 Hang around with like-minded people type of show.
00:46:27.000 Only because you can't get liberals.
00:46:29.000 I don't know how Tucker Carlson does it.
00:46:30.000 How does he get these people?
00:46:32.000 I beg them.
00:46:33.000 I beg feminists and liberals to come on my show. 1.00
00:46:35.000 It just doesn't happen.
00:46:37.000 And there's obviously this free podcast every Tuesday and Friday.
00:46:42.000 And today is Tuesday.
00:46:44.000 I will see you on Friday.