Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 12, 2017


Get Off My Lawn #45 | Crime Pays


Episode Stats

Length

42 minutes

Words per Minute

170.63084

Word Count

7,303

Sentence Count

669

Misogynist Sentences

14

Hate Speech Sentences

31


Summary

A bomb exploded at the Port Authority Bus Station in New York City on Saturday, and the authorities are investigating whether it was an act of terrorism. Also, Josh Hommey kicked a camera during a performance of his band Eagles of Death Metal and now he's a pariah.


Transcript

00:00:34.000 We gotta move.
00:00:35.000 Busy day.
00:00:36.000 A lot happened this weekend.
00:00:37.000 Lots of talk about a bomb just went off.
00:00:39.000 And at Port Authority, that's the big bus station here in New York City.
00:00:44.000 The guy blew his nuts off.
00:00:45.000 I think he was going for something a little more drastic than that.
00:00:48.000 My understanding is they want to keep their nuts because they get virgins in outer space, so you need them.
00:00:53.000 Well, you need the part above the nuts.
00:00:56.000 Bangladeshi, he's been here for seven years.
00:00:59.000 He's just following orders, really.
00:01:01.000 He's following the Quran.
00:01:02.000 He's following the propaganda.
00:01:04.000 He's doing what he was told.
00:01:06.000 He's doing what his inbreeding is helping him facilitate.
00:01:09.000 We saw this.
00:01:10.000 ISIS said, we're coming to get you.
00:01:13.000 Santa's coming.
00:01:14.000 Big pictures of Santa hanging out with dynamite.
00:01:17.000 They warned us.
00:01:18.000 But no.
00:01:20.000 We've lost our edge.
00:01:22.000 We've lost our way.
00:01:24.000 We are so quick to criticize ourselves.
00:01:26.000 We're living in this ultimate fear of offending people and doing something wrong.
00:01:32.000 Meanwhile, this stuff is ignored.
00:01:35.000 And I think that opening song, Queens of the Stone Age, is a great example of that.
00:01:39.000 Josh Homey's in big trubs because he was on stage rocking out, playing that music like that song you just heard, and he kicked at some camera that was bothering him, whatever.
00:01:52.000 Bands smash stuff.
00:01:54.000 You know?
00:01:55.000 That's how it works.
00:01:56.000 You ever see the who?
00:01:57.000 Smashing guitars?
00:01:58.000 So yeah, you're wandering around, you got your camera out, and here it comes, and boom.
00:02:08.000 So that's become Josh Homu's hitting woman.
00:02:12.000 She spent the night in ER.
00:02:14.000 What a bunch of wimps we've become.
00:02:16.000 Josh is evil, but I bet if he was Muslim, he wouldn't be getting that kind of.
00:02:20.000 In fact, you know what we're getting with this port authority?
00:02:22.000 I'm seeing all these tweets going, beware of hate crimes after this.
00:02:26.000 It usually follows brown kids get in trouble.
00:02:29.000 And another great example of this actually sticks to Josh Homey again.
00:02:33.000 He's in another band called Eagles of Death Metal with Jesse Hughes.
00:02:36.000 They were playing the Batta Clan a couple years ago, if you recall.
00:02:40.000 And Jesse said, I think some of the security was in on it.
00:02:45.000 And we don't want to offend Muslims or we don't offend the Muslim security at Batta Clan, so he's banned.
00:02:52.000 He's a pariah.
00:02:53.000 And he was right.
00:02:55.000 In fact, it's very common in Paris for staff to be jihadists.
00:03:00.000 At the soccer stadium, we found out that 82 of them were on a terror watch list.
00:03:06.000 But no, don't offend them.
00:03:10.000 Get mad at Jesse.
00:03:11.000 Jesse's the bad guy.
00:03:12.000 And he's become a pariah ever since.
00:03:14.000 He denied it.
00:03:15.000 It was in an interview with me, by the way.
00:03:16.000 I'm the guy who got this out there.
00:03:17.000 And he said, I didn't know he was recording.
00:03:19.000 He'll never speak to me again.
00:03:21.000 We're done because I betrayed him.
00:03:25.000 And speaking of what a pariah he is, look, there was a big mural in Silver Lake.
00:03:31.000 That's like the hipster part of LA.
00:03:33.000 And after he said this, they literally painted him out of the mural because he's an Islamophone.
00:03:43.000 So this story in Port Authority, this kicking with the camera, it's all the same.
00:03:50.000 It's all our anger directed at ourselves, our ethnomasochism, and then laying the red carpet out to anyone, any refugee, any Bangladeshi who wants to attack us.
00:04:00.000 What's he doing here anyway?
00:04:01.000 Bangladesh is 90% Muslim.
00:04:03.000 Why are we bending over backwards?
00:04:05.000 How many Syrian refugees did Obama bring in?
00:04:08.000 34,000?
00:04:09.000 How many Christian refugees?
00:04:11.000 South Africa's under siege.
00:04:13.000 You want refugees?
00:04:14.000 Take some of those white people that are living in shanty towns because they have reverse apartheid now.
00:04:20.000 The political system in South Africa is just pure revenge.
00:04:22.000 Bring those over.
00:04:24.000 Anyway, a lot to happen this week and a lot to talk about.
00:04:27.000 I heard some gossip about the trial.
00:04:29.000 I don't know if gossip is a word.
00:04:31.000 Eamon Bundy always has a Constitution in his top pocket.
00:04:35.000 And they've been told they may not discuss the First or the Second Amendment.
00:04:41.000 That's correct.
00:04:42.000 You heard me right.
00:04:43.000 The judge has told the jury and everyone there, you may not mention the First Amendment or the Second Amendment once in any context during this entire trial.
00:04:52.000 What?
00:04:55.000 I also, I did my podcast on Friday.
00:04:58.000 I talked about my TV career, film career, and how I'm not doing that anymore.
00:05:02.000 But I forgot to mention that I did a series on my book, Death of Cool.
00:05:06.000 20th Century Fox produced it, and it's a little vignette for each chapter in the book.
00:05:11.000 Now, my understanding is my old buddies' advice are not happy about that.
00:05:15.000 And they are trying to kibosh the deal.
00:05:17.000 And I think James Murdoch is on their board, and James Murdoch is obviously very close with the folks at 20th Century Fox.
00:05:23.000 So they're doing a good job of having it stifled.
00:05:26.000 But it will get out.
00:05:29.000 Also in the news this weekend, Daniel Shaver, pest control guy, shot dead by Philip Brailsford, who got away with it.
00:05:38.000 He was acquitted because the guy seemed to be reaching.
00:05:42.000 But this video is intense.
00:05:46.000 Here, I got it here on my computer, Dave.
00:05:47.000 Let's not just watch CNN.
00:05:49.000 So he has the guy, he has a BB gun in his motel room, and he's showing some friend.
00:05:55.000 He's going, this is what I used to kill rats.
00:05:57.000 And because of Vegas, I think, everyone is really real skittish about guns in hotels.
00:06:03.000 So they call the cops.
00:06:04.000 The cops come by.
00:06:05.000 They're skittish too.
00:06:06.000 It's this skittish culture we had.
00:06:08.000 I think I read somewhere there's 46 cops killed already this year.
00:06:12.000 And I think a lot of that is this media propaganda that cops are out hunting and killing people.
00:06:17.000 And footage like this doesn't help, by the way.
00:06:20.000 Philando Castile was another guy.
00:06:22.000 I think he was at a Hispanic affirmative action hire.
00:06:24.000 But he was scared.
00:06:26.000 And the media is responsible for that fear.
00:06:30.000 But the media is also, I think we're all, our justice system is too kind to these guys who claim they're scared.
00:06:38.000 It's just a disgusting situation all around.
00:06:40.000 I'm really torn about this case because I always defend the cops.
00:06:43.000 But then you see this guy saying, all right, put your hands up.
00:06:46.000 Don't put your hands down for any reason.
00:06:48.000 If you think you're going to fall, fall on your face.
00:06:50.000 And also, crawl towards me.
00:06:52.000 Now, I'm not an expert on police procedure, but crawl towards me?
00:06:56.000 Have you ever heard that before?
00:06:57.000 And how do you crawl without putting your hands down?
00:07:01.000 Please do not shoot me.
00:07:03.000 And listen to my instructions.
00:07:04.000 I'm trying to do a shoot.
00:07:06.000 Don't talk.
00:07:06.000 Listen.
00:07:08.000 Hands straight up in the air.
00:07:10.000 Do not put your hands down for any reason.
00:07:13.000 You think you're going to fall?
00:07:14.000 You better fall on your face.
00:07:15.000 Your hands go back into the small.
00:07:17.000 Your back are done.
00:07:18.000 We are going to shoot you.
00:07:19.000 Do you understand me?
00:07:21.000 Crawl towards me.
00:07:22.000 Oh, my God.
00:07:24.000 Crawl towards me.
00:07:29.000 Don't go towards me.
00:07:32.000 And he's dead.
00:07:35.000 They continue on to the motel room and they try to see if there was more people there.
00:07:40.000 There wasn't anyone there.
00:07:42.000 It was one of the most brutal cases I've ever seen.
00:07:45.000 And the right is mad too.
00:07:47.000 National Review calls it a murder.
00:07:51.000 I mean, I always wanted my son to be a cop, but I'm starting to change my mind.
00:07:55.000 And speaking, yeah, there they go.
00:07:56.000 The police murder of Daniel Shaver.
00:07:58.000 And that guy gets mad about Philando Castile, too.
00:08:01.000 Is that David Frum who wrote that?
00:08:04.000 David French.
00:08:05.000 David French.
00:08:07.000 This is also another example of what's going on with the cops.
00:08:10.000 So there was a march in Austin for, what's her name, Kate Steinley?
00:08:15.000 And it was these people remembering her.
00:08:17.000 They don't like the fact that an illegal alien killed a woman.
00:08:20.000 And to be clear, it was not a sea lion hunter who grabbed a malfunctioning gun and threw it into the bay.
00:08:26.000 It was a criminal miscreant who had been deported seven times, and he shot her through the juggler vein for no other reason than he's just a sadistic inhuman.
00:08:38.000 He's inhuman.
00:08:39.000 It feels weird as a Christian to say that, but this guy is human garbage.
00:08:42.000 And that's an insult the left tosses around quite a bit.
00:08:45.000 This is one of those cases.
00:08:46.000 I think he screwed up his story because he doesn't really understand the world.
00:08:50.000 Anyway, so they go for a march to commemorate this poor woman.
00:08:58.000 And Antifa shows up with guns.
00:09:02.000 They think it's racist for you to have a march to memorialize Kate Stele.
00:09:06.000 That's racist.
00:09:07.000 So they're going to stop you with a gun.
00:09:09.000 Do you see what I'm getting at here with this whole premise?
00:09:11.000 Is we can do no right, and they, illegals, jihadists, whoever, can do no wrong.
00:09:19.000 The cop shooting isn't a good example of this.
00:09:21.000 But I think the cop shooting relates to this because we see this sense of fear.
00:09:25.000 Did I just mention 46 cops have been killed this year in America?
00:09:30.000 And it's a very difficult thing to quantify because you go, are you shooting at that cop because you think he's going to kill you anyway?
00:09:37.000 Would you, in another era, in a Giuliani era, in a Dinkins era, would you be more likely to say, okay, okay, relax.
00:09:44.000 When we see footage like that, or when we get lies about how common that is, the guy with the purpose is more likely to just go, screw it.
00:09:53.000 Anyway, Antifa stopped these guys with guns, and the police go, you can't do that.
00:09:58.000 Joe Biggs shot this, by the way.
00:10:00.000 Take a fucking sleep!
00:10:11.000 Fuck you!
00:10:12.000 Fuck you!
00:10:14.000 No!
00:10:15.000 Now, just so you know what's going on here, these are the cops on bikes, which I get that that's effective police procedure, but it doesn't look good to see cops on bikes.
00:10:21.000 But they start...
00:10:31.000 Can you conceive of that?
00:10:33.000 Can you imagine you swinging a bat at a cop?
00:10:39.000 Anyway, they all get busted.
00:10:41.000 Joe Biggs thoroughly enjoys himself.
00:10:44.000 And that's Austin.
00:10:45.000 This is Austin, by the way, the same place where we had those drag queens doing sexy dances for little kids.
00:10:50.000 What is going on in America?
00:10:52.000 I thought Trump won.
00:10:55.000 Also in the news, a polar bear video.
00:11:00.000 So these guys from National Geographic are out and they see a dying polar bear.
00:11:04.000 Did you know that polar bears die?
00:11:06.000 I thought they were immortal.
00:11:08.000 I thought they go to an old bear home, as Patrick Moore put it.
00:11:12.000 So they take this footage of this dying polar bear and slow it down 30%.
00:11:18.000 And they talk about how they were bawling their eyes out as they shot it.
00:11:22.000 It's climate change.
00:11:23.000 By the way, this climate change thing is getting to the point of communist propaganda.
00:11:28.000 My daughter was in class and her teacher said to her, can you believe there's people who don't believe in climate change?
00:11:35.000 So my kid's teacher can't conceive of the other side of the argument.
00:11:40.000 That's not usually a good sign.
00:11:42.000 Isn't a teacher's job to present both sides?
00:11:45.000 Anyway, cry babies.
00:11:48.000 This polar bear is dying because polar bears die.
00:11:50.000 The polar bear population is thriving.
00:11:53.000 It's up to 30,000.
00:11:55.000 It's the highest it's been in 50 years.
00:11:58.000 This is all fake news.
00:12:01.000 I'm so sick of this fake news everywhere, everything.
00:12:05.000 I feel like watching the news now, it really is just a homework assignment.
00:12:08.000 It says, here's some things we think are true.
00:12:11.000 Go look them up yourself.
00:12:12.000 So you do, and it's never true.
00:12:15.000 That's a great thing about Twitter also.
00:12:17.000 Check out this bullied kid, though.
00:12:18.000 It's another thing that went viral over the weekend.
00:12:22.000 This poor boy, this poor boy.
00:12:25.000 He is bullied in his classes.
00:12:29.000 I think he might have a cleft palate or something.
00:12:30.000 His nose is bigger than usual, and it's affected his speech.
00:12:34.000 There's usually one of those in every school, but this kid's getting it really bad.
00:12:37.000 Let's hear him explain.
00:12:39.000 Just out of curiosity, why do they bully?
00:12:43.000 What's the point of it?
00:12:44.000 Why do I enjoy taking innocent people and finding a way to be mean to them?
00:12:52.000 It's not okay.
00:12:53.000 What do they say to you?
00:12:56.000 They make fun of my nose.
00:12:57.000 They call me ugly.
00:12:58.000 They say I have no friends.
00:13:01.000 What'd they do to you at lunch?
00:13:03.000 Pour milk on me and put ham down my clothes.
00:13:07.000 Sorry, that's enough.
00:13:08.000 Is it just you?
00:13:09.000 Put ham down his clothes?
00:13:11.000 That's creative.
00:13:12.000 Do they think he's Muslim?
00:13:15.000 So that's horrible, obviously.
00:13:18.000 Here's the solution.
00:13:20.000 We've all been there.
00:13:21.000 We were there in the 70s.
00:13:22.000 It's called Dad.
00:13:23.000 Dad comes in and dad fights.
00:13:26.000 No, Dad doesn't fight.
00:13:27.000 Dad tells the boy to fight back.
00:13:30.000 Dad has to kick ass.
00:13:32.000 Sorry, I keep screwing this up.
00:13:33.000 Dad doesn't have to kick ass.
00:13:35.000 Dad doesn't get involved.
00:13:36.000 Dad sits there and he shows his son how to fight.
00:13:38.000 You go, you punch on the nose.
00:13:40.000 But she went the social media route.
00:13:41.000 I don't know if this guy has a dad in his life.
00:13:44.000 If I was the dad, I'd be very mad that you put this on social media and have my son saying platitudes like, it's not okay.
00:13:50.000 So the NFL gets involved and the NFL starts sending him these crying messages and they go and they shake his hand.
00:13:57.000 This is not the solution.
00:13:58.000 Virtue signaling is not the solution.
00:14:01.000 You have to teach a man to fish.
00:14:02.000 You don't just get a football player to read him a poem about a fish.
00:14:06.000 Look at this crap.
00:14:08.000 Hey, Keaton.
00:14:09.000 It's Delaney Walker, tight end for the Tennessee Titans.
00:14:13.000 I wanted to read a poem to you by Buddha.
00:14:15.000 By Buddha?
00:14:18.000 We become what we think.
00:14:19.000 Joy follows a pure thought like a shadow that never leaves.
00:14:24.000 Always remember that.
00:14:25.000 You can be whoever that is pathetic.
00:14:29.000 What a total and utter waste of time.
00:14:31.000 There's tons of those.
00:14:32.000 It blew up the internet on the weekend.
00:14:35.000 And I didn't see one person, besides Stefan Molyneux, say, this kid doesn't need messages from football players.
00:14:42.000 What's this one saying?
00:14:43.000 This is Bernard Blake, former Green Bay Packer cornerback and Colorado State Round, defensive bat.
00:14:49.000 Just reaching out to you, man, to let you know that, hey, from CSU to Green Bay and all the way down here in Texas, we're pulling for you.
00:14:57.000 Ah, shut up.
00:14:57.000 That's enough.
00:14:59.000 The bullies see that and go, whoa, he's cool.
00:15:02.000 He got a tweet from a football player.
00:15:04.000 They make fun of him even more.
00:15:06.000 This is a death sentence.
00:15:08.000 Stop it with the kvetching and the screaming and the whining about a kick here or this person said something wrong and get in there and fight back.
00:15:17.000 We are losing our edge.
00:15:19.000 We're a tough country.
00:15:20.000 This country used to be about grit and travel.
00:15:23.000 And there's a job in Indiana.
00:15:25.000 I'm on my way and I'll meet you in the schoolyard at 3.20.
00:15:28.000 We used to be about standing up for ourselves.
00:15:30.000 Now we're about crying on social media and letting people walk all over us.
00:15:39.000 A lot of people ask me, they say, Gavin, what's your favorite punk band?
00:15:43.000 And I say, thanks for asking, everyone.
00:15:45.000 And I like to say Generation X. Remember Generation X from Billy Idol's previous band?
00:15:50.000 Oh, you don't remember that?
00:15:51.000 Okay.
00:15:52.000 Well, Billy Idol was in a band in Britain called Generation X, and they were from Bromley.
00:15:57.000 And I think that's very relevant because it shows the sort of evolution of rebellion.
00:16:03.000 Back in the 70s, a rebellious group from Bromley was Susie and the Banshees and Billy Idol.
00:16:10.000 They were called the Bromley Contingent.
00:16:12.000 Today?
00:16:13.000 What's a rebel?
00:16:14.000 In Bromley, how do you rebel?
00:16:16.000 Oh, you become Richard Reed, the shoebomber.
00:16:18.000 That's the new rebellion in Britain.
00:16:21.000 Not quite as fun as the original one, is it?
00:16:23.000 But Generation X were a fascinating band because this is back when everyone was being political and serious and we're going to change the world and there's no future for the youth and blah blah blah.
00:16:34.000 But Generation X wanted to be pin-up dogs.
00:16:36.000 They wanted to be, they had songs like, you got your gear from Mark Spunk.
00:16:42.000 Mark Spencer being the cheap clothing store.
00:16:45.000 Or they'd say, I'm walking in the streets with the latest on my feet.
00:16:51.000 And it was like a rebellion within punk.
00:16:54.000 They were being punk within punk.
00:16:56.000 Punk was about rebelling against the mainstream.
00:16:58.000 They were about rebelling against punk.
00:17:00.000 They wanted to be mainstream.
00:17:01.000 They wanted to be sexy to girls.
00:17:03.000 They wanted to meet chicks.
00:17:04.000 And I thought, wow, that takes balls.
00:17:07.000 And then the fact that Billy Idol came to New York City and invented dance punk right when everyone else should retire and just go, well, I already nailed it.
00:17:15.000 I mean, what a band.
00:17:17.000 So to answer your question, yes.
00:17:19.000 Generation X, greatest punk band ever.
00:17:25.000 Dream Machine said shitty stuff dropped from John Dwyer's label.
00:17:30.000 This is back in June of 2017, and this is a band, they're friends of mine, and they are sort of like a psych, 60s kind of a psych band.
00:17:39.000 play some of their music.
00:17:51.000 So a rock and roll band.
00:17:52.000 You got it?
00:17:54.000 And they are normal, intelligent human beings.
00:17:56.000 She's from the Netherlands, a recent immigrant here.
00:17:58.000 And they did an interview last year, and it was about South by Southwest.
00:18:03.000 Now, there was some drama at South by Southwest because British bands would have to get a visa to play at the festival.
00:18:11.000 And then the festival owner said, if you play unauthorized shows that compete with us, we're going to revoke your visa.
00:18:18.000 Sounds reasonable to me.
00:18:19.000 That's the deal.
00:18:19.000 That's literally the contract that you signed.
00:18:23.000 You signed on the dotted line.
00:18:25.000 And so Matt, it's Matt and Doris, the two, that's Matthew there, and there's Doris on the keyboards.
00:18:31.000 And he says, I see deportation as a fair and just consequence.
00:18:37.000 And he said, it's just a threat, anyways.
00:18:39.000 Instead of throwing a temper tantrum and acting as if they're entitled to come to the United States and do exactly as they please, they should just be cool about it and play unauthorized shows anyway.
00:18:48.000 So he's saying, South by Southwest can threaten to deport you and be a man.
00:18:53.000 Stop being such a wimp.
00:18:54.000 Just go play unauthorized shows.
00:18:56.000 It's called rock and roll.
00:18:58.000 It's called courage.
00:18:59.000 It's called danger.
00:19:00.000 This is supposed to be youth culture.
00:19:02.000 It's supposed to be on the edge.
00:19:03.000 Dads like me are supposed to be harumphing going, those darn kids.
00:19:08.000 And then she goes a little farther and she says, Doris goes, I agree.
00:19:14.000 And by the way, I'm glad that they're deporting criminal, illegal aliens.
00:19:20.000 Criminal, illegal aliens.
00:19:22.000 It took ages for me to get my green card here legally, and because there's so many illegals coming in, they make it hard for the people who want to become part of American society.
00:19:30.000 So they were blackballed after this happened.
00:19:33.000 Banned, finished, kicked off the label, and they went back to the Netherlands.
00:19:39.000 And I think Matt makes photo booths now, like old-timey photo booths you put in a bar and you get these cute pictures.
00:19:48.000 So, he's had to change his entire career because of those two quotes I just told you.
00:19:52.000 So, I check in with them once in a while.
00:19:54.000 You know how I say to guests, let's keep in touch.
00:19:56.000 So, I kept in touch, and they went over there, and I think they were disappointed with what they saw.
00:20:02.000 Let's check in on them.
00:20:03.000 Matt and Doris, are you there?
00:20:06.000 We're here.
00:20:07.000 Barely.
00:20:08.000 Barely here.
00:20:10.000 This is the band Dream Machine I was just talking about.
00:20:13.000 I've given everyone the backstory of what happened back in June, but I thought I'd just, when we last spoke, I said, let's keep in touch and check in.
00:20:20.000 I'm checking in.
00:20:22.000 Cool.
00:20:23.000 Well, we're in Amsterdam, and we kind of ended up here.
00:20:27.000 We had to transport some musical gear for a potential tour that may be happening.
00:20:33.000 And we just finished our new album, Breaking the Circle.
00:20:38.000 We self-released it to avoid any checks and balances.
00:20:46.000 So we went.
00:20:48.000 Well, I was just looking at some of the headlines, and it said, record label drops banned over ugly opinions.
00:20:56.000 And you know what's interesting about that headline?
00:20:59.000 When they say record label drops banned, it gives the controversy credence.
00:21:06.000 Like, well, they must have been terrible.
00:21:08.000 The record label dropped them.
00:21:09.000 But you pressured, not you, but they pressured the label to drop.
00:21:14.000 So they have this hysterical witch hunt behavior.
00:21:17.000 It gets results, and then they go, well, look, it got results, so I must have been right.
00:21:23.000 And they don't even give specific opinions, just like ugly opinions, and that's enough.
00:21:27.000 Like, even if you're rumored to be racist or xenophobic or anything like that, that's enough.
00:21:32.000 Like, people won't even read what we said.
00:21:35.000 And we remember hearing people say, like, yeah, we haven't actually read the interview, but you're racist and xenophobia.
00:21:46.000 And where were you?
00:21:47.000 You were in Austin?
00:21:50.000 Yeah, at that time I was in Austin.
00:21:52.000 So you're basically chased out of town with the mob, like Frankenstein, and you end up in Amsterdam, and you think, maybe I'll settle there.
00:22:00.000 So, just for the record, in the controversial interview that got so much attention, we actually talk about, yeah, we're moving to Amsterdam because...
00:22:11.000 So it's not like we ran away from it.
00:22:14.000 And I just hate that people would ever think that.
00:22:17.000 You moved to Amsterdam and you didn't run there.
00:22:20.000 But to be fair, you wouldn't have had an easy time in Austin.
00:22:25.000 That's true, yeah.
00:22:26.000 We basically came here to discover, you know, I have a lot of family here, so we thought maybe it would be a good place to start our family, but we kind of discovered that people like us just kind of need to be out in the country, like hermits.
00:22:39.000 Banished.
00:22:40.000 Well, what do you think of Amsterdam?
00:22:43.000 Is it everything it's cracked up to be, or is it just as bad over there?
00:22:48.000 Well, as soon as we get off the plane, she showed me around Rotterdam, which is the area where she grew up in, and we're walking down the street, and I actually got into a fist fight with a 60-year-old dude because we look over, and there is an Imam right near a mosque pissing in the middle of the street.
00:23:06.000 Kind of like almost like a disrespectful act.
00:23:10.000 Not like I need to take a piss, but it was like a provocative act.
00:23:15.000 And it just pissed me off, literally.
00:23:17.000 And I said something about it.
00:23:19.000 It resulted in a scuffle that she actually diffused with a different language.
00:23:23.000 I had to get in between the guys and say, calm down, calm down.
00:23:27.000 But it was the craziest thing I've ever seen in my life.
00:23:31.000 It was almost like a territorial something.
00:23:36.000 It was like, wow, this is like wartime.
00:23:39.000 Yeah.
00:23:41.000 So would you say that the Netherlands has become Islamicized?
00:23:47.000 Definitely.
00:23:48.000 Definitely.
00:23:49.000 Well, certain parts are worse than others.
00:23:51.000 You know, like Amsterdam is just a bunch of tourists and you can't really notice it there.
00:23:56.000 But Broader Dam, certain parts, where I grew up in, it's really bad.
00:24:00.000 I mean, they grew a big, they built a big mosque there.
00:24:05.000 And, you know, it just changes the whole neighborhood.
00:24:10.000 It's not a welcoming feeling.
00:24:13.000 It's like they spit at your feet, you know, kind of feeling.
00:24:17.000 And it's just like, oh man, this is not a warmth.
00:24:21.000 This is not diversity.
00:24:22.000 This is a competition for turf.
00:24:26.000 Yeah, it's a replacement.
00:24:28.000 And we came here, and up on our arrival, there were these government people calling me and like, why did you move to America?
00:24:34.000 Why were you away from the Netherlands?
00:24:35.000 Like KGB style police.
00:24:37.000 And showing up at where we live, uninvited, nothing.
00:24:42.000 And I call them and I say, why are you, you know, oh, did they call me?
00:24:45.000 And I said, why are you coming here uninvited?
00:24:48.000 And they're like, oh, that's just how we do things here.
00:24:50.000 And I was just like, no, I want to go back to America where you have the freedom to do whatever the f ⁇ you want and move wherever.
00:24:57.000 Isn't that nuts?
00:24:58.000 So you're in America.
00:25:00.000 You get blackballed because you say illegal immigrants should be arrested.
00:25:04.000 I'm a legal immigrant and it's tough.
00:25:07.000 I don't want MS-13 around.
00:25:09.000 And then you go, you know what?
00:25:10.000 I'm just going to go back to Europe.
00:25:11.000 And then you get back to Europe and it's not Europe anymore.
00:25:14.000 Exactly.
00:25:16.000 So it's a crazy story.
00:25:17.000 It's just kind of like, you know, we're just ready to have our own spot and just start a family.
00:25:22.000 Yeah.
00:25:22.000 And meanwhile, we're over here seeing, you know, Trump is.
00:25:27.000 Oh, you froze up again.
00:25:29.000 All right, let's reconvene.
00:25:32.000 I missed that.
00:25:33.000 Let's reconvene when we can get a better connection.
00:25:36.000 But I say Kansas City.
00:25:38.000 Come to Kansas City.
00:25:40.000 No, we're actually considering Kansas City.
00:25:42.000 I mean, we're over here and seeing Trump's passing tax cuts and securing the border.
00:25:45.000 And we're like, hey, let's have some kids.
00:25:47.000 Let's start a family.
00:25:48.000 This sucks.
00:25:49.000 Europe is, you can't do it over here.
00:25:52.000 We have culture allows it, too.
00:25:55.000 Just European culture.
00:25:56.000 Everybody's so, I don't know.
00:25:58.000 It's just so weird.
00:25:59.000 You can see why America was founded, you know?
00:26:04.000 Yes.
00:26:04.000 Why people separated from the whole continent.
00:26:07.000 Especially off the mainland, like out of Britain and onto mainland Europe, there's a real sense of cuck.
00:26:13.000 There's a real sense of self-hatred.
00:26:16.000 And right wing is just such a horrible word to them when all it means is the opposite of left wing.
00:26:22.000 Yeah, it really just means just different opinion.
00:26:25.000 I remember actually going into a grocery store and this guy was like handing out these flyers and we started a conversation about feminism and we were talking about all the political stuff about it and eventually I just came to the question of like, okay, just drop all your opinions about feminism.
00:26:39.000 Let's be real.
00:26:40.000 Be real here with me.
00:26:41.000 Open up for me here.
00:26:43.000 Would you really be happy with a woman who's working all the time, who's never home, your kids are at daycare, you never get to see each other, and you're going to pretty much die alone as if you never even had a wife?
00:26:53.000 And he started breaking down.
00:26:56.000 He was having this mental breakdown.
00:26:58.000 He realized that it was true.
00:27:01.000 It wasn't the key to happiness.
00:27:03.000 Don't red-pill Europeans.
00:27:05.000 They can't handle it.
00:27:06.000 You're going to make their brains explode.
00:27:09.000 If you can't hold it down, you pretty much deserve to have your country taken over.
00:27:14.000 Because if you don't respect something and grow it, then it'll fade away.
00:27:20.000 And that's just how it goes, I guess.
00:27:23.000 Too true.
00:27:23.000 Well, we'll plug your album, and I look forward to you guys coming back home.
00:27:28.000 Thanks.
00:27:29.000 We're looking forward to it.
00:27:30.000 See you, Dream Machine.
00:27:32.000 See you later.
00:27:33.000 Bye.
00:27:33.000 Bye.
00:27:40.000 The border wall is absolutely necessary.
00:27:43.000 Are you at all concerned about ladders making the wall obsolete?
00:27:47.000 Excuse me?
00:27:47.000 A ladder, the thing you climb?
00:27:49.000 I don't know what you're talking about.
00:27:54.000 I've never seen anything like this.
00:27:56.000 What did you call this laid air?
00:27:58.000 Ladder.
00:28:00.000 Is there more than one of these?
00:28:02.000 Jesus Christ.
00:28:03.000 When did this come out?
00:28:05.000 Thousands of years ago?
00:28:06.000 The left can't mean.
00:28:09.000 I don't even get their jokes.
00:28:10.000 They don't get their own jokes.
00:28:12.000 Are you saying that ladders have made walls obsolete?
00:28:15.000 So they're going to climb up there?
00:28:16.000 And how are they going to get back down the other side?
00:28:18.000 There'll be someone else with a ladder?
00:28:20.000 Alrighty.
00:28:20.000 Yes, that's possible.
00:28:22.000 You're certainly slowed down quite a bit by a wall.
00:28:25.000 That's why walls exist.
00:28:28.000 This guy's saying ladders have been around for thousands of years.
00:28:30.000 Yes, so have walls.
00:28:32.000 You're standing by a wall.
00:28:34.000 Why do we have walls?
00:28:36.000 Is your joke that walls are useless?
00:28:38.000 Yeah, why do parks have them?
00:28:40.000 Why did Israel's terrorism go down to pretty much zero after they installed their wall?
00:28:46.000 Most of it is just a smart wall, by the way.
00:28:48.000 Only about 5% of those big tall cement things.
00:28:50.000 Most of it is just a wall where when someone goes over it, a sensor goes off and then someone shows up within a minute.
00:28:56.000 But it's like that video.
00:28:57.000 Adam Ruins Everything did this thing on how immigration won't matter because they can just take planes.
00:29:02.000 And it was a big thing in Mexico.
00:29:04.000 You have that video where the guy's laughing at us saying Trump forgot planes?
00:29:07.000 Yeah, this is a viral thing where they all laugh.
00:29:10.000 What immigrants think of the wall?
00:29:12.000 It's called planes.
00:29:13.000 And Adam Ruins Everything says that too.
00:29:15.000 He goes, most illegal immigrants come from planes.
00:29:17.000 No, dummies, we don't have to watch that.
00:29:19.000 Everyone's seen it.
00:29:20.000 Most documented illegal immigration, like students overstaying their visas, that's mostly from planes.
00:29:27.000 We don't know the actual numbers of the ones who come illegally, so that's why it's not on your little ledger there.
00:29:33.000 You see, you don't know what you're talking about.
00:29:35.000 You like the idea of standing up for human rights, but you've never actually Googled it.
00:29:40.000 And that's why the left can't meme.
00:29:42.000 Look at this one.
00:29:43.000 Dave, pull up that, is it the Ronald McDonald one?
00:29:46.000 I don't get this joke.
00:29:48.000 Are you saying he's a clown?
00:29:50.000 Are you saying, do you not like Ronald McDonald?
00:29:53.000 I don't understand.
00:29:54.000 That's for children to go to fat, to encourage them to eat fast food.
00:30:00.000 Are you saying that he does that?
00:30:01.000 What is your joke?
00:30:03.000 You don't know how to meme or show me this.
00:30:04.000 There's another brutal one I saw.
00:30:06.000 Look at this.
00:30:08.000 Brevity is wit, guys.
00:30:09.000 How can we stop these shootings?
00:30:11.000 Tell Donald Trump that Obama passed the Second Amendment to ensure all Americans had access to firearms.
00:30:16.000 Could that be longer?
00:30:17.000 You know what?
00:30:17.000 We should focus on this.
00:30:18.000 Let's do 10 solid examples of why and how the left can't meme.
00:30:25.000 All right, let's start with the worst, right?
00:30:28.000 I'm literally a racist.
00:30:31.000 That's the joke right there.
00:30:32.000 Now, because the joke doesn't have enough impact, they have to add, I guess, me, our people, going, LOL, stupid lip turbs.
00:30:41.000 You're reaching so hard.
00:30:42.000 God Emperor's clearly not racist.
00:30:44.000 What?
00:30:45.000 So you have a guy who's Trump that you think is racist.
00:30:49.000 So the way you call him racist is you say, you put a voice balloon having him say, I'm literally a racist.
00:30:55.000 What?
00:30:56.000 How is that a joke?
00:30:57.000 That's not a joke.
00:30:59.000 That's like saying I'm literally an idiot.
00:31:01.000 That doesn't mean you've elucidated anything.
00:31:04.000 You haven't added anything to the conversation.
00:31:06.000 And then to try to cover your ass by having a terrible drawing and calling yourself a stupid lip tart, do you think that covers your bases?
00:31:14.000 So this is one of the least funny things.
00:31:17.000 And by the way, there are some fundamental rules of comedy here.
00:31:20.000 There's the rule of thirds.
00:31:22.000 So do one or do three.
00:31:24.000 Two is never funny, especially when number two is just you covering your ass for number one.
00:31:28.000 I'm ruining comedy, by the way, by analyzing it.
00:31:30.000 But one question I was thinking is, why can't the left mean?
00:31:34.000 I think it might be because they're spoiled, because they've got comedy, they got movies, they got Hollywood, they got LA.
00:31:41.000 So anytime they feel like farting into a microphone, there's people waiting.
00:31:44.000 We have been banished to the sewers, like the teenage mutant ninja turtles.
00:31:48.000 And those sewers are the internet.
00:31:50.000 So we've been honing our chops down here.
00:31:53.000 When you guys come down into the sewers, you slip and fall on the turds, and you look like shit.
00:32:00.000 All right, what's the next one?
00:32:02.000 This one's amazing.
00:32:04.000 That feeling when your mom invited the whole class to your birthday party, but no one showed up.
00:32:09.000 So they have the President of the United States sitting at a desk, which he's supposed to do, waiting for people who are also going to be sitting there, which you're supposed to do.
00:32:20.000 And then to make him look like a loser, they add a cake in Photoshop and a hat and then say, ha ha, he's at a birthday party and no one's there.
00:32:29.000 No, he's not.
00:32:29.000 You photoshopped a birthday party there.
00:32:32.000 Now, there's stuff to make fun of, like he's a germaphobe.
00:32:35.000 So you could make a joke about the water when you're such a germaphobe that you're more scared of a glass of water than a nuclear war with North Korea.
00:32:45.000 That's a joke.
00:32:46.000 That makes sense.
00:32:47.000 That has context.
00:32:49.000 This is just, you draw a mustache on someone and go, I have a stupid mustache.
00:32:54.000 I actually do have a stupid mustache.
00:32:56.000 All right, next.
00:33:00.000 Okay, this is, again, lunacy, right?
00:33:03.000 They take their own hyperbolic beliefs, like everyone is Hitler, and then they go, I'm literally Hitler.
00:33:08.000 This is the same as I'm literally Hitler.
00:33:10.000 For my next trick, I will stand in front of a picture of Hitler, so Andrew Jackson is Hitler now, and make and frank jokes while I give an award to Simon Weisenthal.
00:33:21.000 These are the, what are the Navajo speakers guy who were a crucial part of, I believe, World War II decoding things.
00:33:28.000 Totally, America loves them to death.
00:33:31.000 Who doesn't love these guys?
00:33:32.000 And these guys, incidentally, love America, and we're totally honored by this ceremony.
00:33:36.000 Everything is copacetic here.
00:33:38.000 This guy likes these guys.
00:33:40.000 These guys like this guy.
00:33:42.000 Now, he made a Pocahontas joke during this, which was funny.
00:33:45.000 And this guy said something like, I didn't understand why he was making a Pocahontas joke, but I don't care.
00:33:49.000 The end.
00:33:50.000 But the left has to go in and inject swastikas where there are none.
00:33:54.000 So this isn't funny.
00:33:56.000 This is just your own lunacy juxtaposed onto a normal situation that went perfectly fine.
00:34:03.000 Next.
00:34:05.000 Donald Trump, Pocahontas.
00:34:08.000 So you took what?
00:34:09.000 This isn't saving Private Ryan, right?
00:34:11.000 This is another one.
00:34:13.000 You're very, very special people.
00:34:15.000 You were here long before any of us were here.
00:34:17.000 Now, what they're doing is they're taking Trump's quotes and they're transcribing them and they sound funny.
00:34:23.000 It sounds funny when you transcribe quotes.
00:34:25.000 Hey, liberals, if I transcribed you and you saw how many times you say like and literally and like literally, you would have a fucking heart attack.
00:34:36.000 So transcribing someone's normal verbiage when they're talking and making it the poster of a movie is beyond a dotard.
00:34:46.000 It's a retard.
00:34:47.000 Next.
00:34:49.000 What's a dotard?
00:34:51.000 Look at this one.
00:34:53.000 I just put him in diapers and I say presidential diapers because I think he's a big baby.
00:34:57.000 So I took, by the way, the picture they used for this guy, you know it's a liberal, right?
00:35:03.000 But I'm going to take this liberal's body, it's probably a fetishist dude, and I'm going to put an elephant on him and Trump's head and then say, you're a big baby.
00:35:12.000 For this joke to work, you have to find a real-life example of him being a baby.
00:35:17.000 Like say, find something he was a baby about.
00:35:19.000 I can't believe I'm explaining comedy, but you've brought me to this.
00:35:22.000 It's like explaining sex.
00:35:23.000 You have to hold her like this and pull her hair back a little bit, but don't hurt her.
00:35:28.000 He has to have done something baby-ish, and then you put the diapers on him.
00:35:32.000 You can't just say diapers.
00:35:34.000 I'm literally racist.
00:35:35.000 You guys are so bad at this.
00:35:37.000 And you're also bad, by the way, at using our vernacular.
00:35:40.000 Like when they call us snowflakes.
00:35:42.000 First they tried to say, snowflake is actually Hitler because it's the ash from the Holocaust.
00:35:47.000 And you go, what?
00:35:49.000 And now they say, if you have a problem, you're a snowflake.
00:35:52.000 No.
00:35:52.000 Dummies.
00:35:53.000 Snowflake obviously is based on the idea that a snowflake is totally unique.
00:35:59.000 So if you think you're special and you think you're totally unique, you're a snowflake.
00:36:03.000 That's a criticism that works great for the left.
00:36:05.000 But you can't just say, I know you are, but what am I?
00:36:07.000 Because it doesn't work for the right.
00:36:09.000 Conservatives, right-wingers, don't sit around and talk about how special they are.
00:36:14.000 Next.
00:36:16.000 Oh, this one's good.
00:36:17.000 I'm going to fight to get tax breaks for Amazon, Walmart, and Goldman Sachs so I can enjoy liberal tears.
00:36:23.000 Like that guy's life sucks.
00:36:25.000 Yeah, what a loser.
00:36:26.000 He only has an ATV and a truck and a gun and an awesome trailer.
00:36:30.000 You don't understand the South.
00:36:32.000 You don't understand the working class.
00:36:34.000 John Steinbeck said that the poor in America always vote Republican because they see themselves as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.
00:36:43.000 This guy doesn't think he's going to be in a trailer for very long.
00:36:46.000 Maybe he is, but he doesn't have that attitude.
00:36:48.000 He doesn't have a victim attitude.
00:36:50.000 So for this joke to work, this person has to be like a British poor person where he goes, I'm working class.
00:36:57.000 I always will be.
00:36:59.000 I got no hope in the world.
00:37:01.000 That's a good joke then.
00:37:02.000 Here in America, where this guy thinks poverty is temporary and he's going to eventually own Amazon Walmart and be at Goldman Sachs, then it's a totally different context and then your joke doesn't work.
00:37:12.000 And that's why you were terrible at memes.
00:37:15.000 Next.
00:37:16.000 What are we up to now?
00:37:18.000 Okay.
00:37:18.000 I think my opposition did something bad, so now I'm allowed to do something worse.
00:37:24.000 Again, you need a clinical example.
00:37:27.000 You need an exact example.
00:37:28.000 And this happens every time I argue with liberals.
00:37:30.000 I go, what exactly did they say that was racist?
00:37:32.000 And they go, everything.
00:37:34.000 And I go, can you give me one specific example?
00:37:37.000 Like, everything.
00:37:38.000 I mean, I don't even know where to begin.
00:37:40.000 Yeah, that's my point.
00:37:42.000 You can't just assume we all have something in our heads where someone did something bad and he did something worse.
00:37:47.000 You need to give an example and then lampoon that example.
00:37:50.000 I shouldn't be giving these coveted comedy tips to the enemy, but I can't resist because you guys suck at this.
00:37:57.000 Next.
00:38:01.000 What's not the president?
00:38:03.000 That's not the president, is it?
00:38:04.000 Don't be silly.
00:38:05.000 That's his clown.
00:38:06.000 Wait a minute.
00:38:07.000 Now are you making fun of Indian vets?
00:38:11.000 Maybe he'll go away if we pretend we can't see him.
00:38:14.000 This is a diss on these guys, by the way.
00:38:17.000 And you're saying that this guy doesn't think that looks like a president?
00:38:21.000 What are you talking about?
00:38:23.000 And that's how I beat Hitler all by myself, despite my bone spurs.
00:38:27.000 And then everybody got up and clapped, and the Nazis all apologized to me.
00:38:31.000 And time called me man of the century.
00:38:32.000 And then...
00:38:35.000 So...
00:38:52.000 Next.
00:38:55.000 River, King of Hearts, Queen of Clubs.
00:38:58.000 So we've got some, you have to know, I guess poker to understand this joke.
00:39:02.000 So you've already ruled out quite a few people.
00:39:05.000 And you have to be one of these nerds who plays poker online and is familiar with 8C and uses that vernacular regularly.
00:39:12.000 So you have to have a picture in your head.
00:39:14.000 By the way, if you're doing that, why don't you have the pictures of the cards?
00:39:17.000 It's a visual medium you're here with.
00:39:19.000 We're not working in binary, okay?
00:39:22.000 You can be a little more colorful with your joke.
00:39:24.000 The face of someone who just went all in but can't bluff worth a Trump card.
00:39:30.000 They just had to jam the word Trump in at the end.
00:39:32.000 This is, I think, worse than the first one because it's just, it's not saying a joke.
00:39:37.000 There's no context there.
00:39:39.000 It's just, I don't like her face.
00:39:40.000 I'm going to make it a poker thing.
00:39:42.000 And then add a bunch of jargon.
00:39:44.000 Brevity is wit, morons.
00:39:47.000 Next.
00:39:48.000 Oh, this is my favorite one.
00:39:49.000 I hope this isn't, I think this is the last one.
00:39:52.000 All right.
00:39:52.000 So this is the Prime Minister of India.
00:39:55.000 You know that old diss.
00:39:56.000 The two biggest insults I think most of us get are you're Hitler and you're the Prime Minister of India.
00:40:04.000 Hi, Ivanka.
00:40:05.000 I'm Narendra.
00:40:08.000 I don't know how to pronounce the Prime Minister of India's name because I don't care about India.
00:40:12.000 Nor should anyone.
00:40:14.000 What are they going to export?
00:40:16.000 Human feces?
00:40:18.000 I love traveling, social media, making decisions without consulting experts, and offering both tactic and explicit approval to the persecution of minorities.
00:40:29.000 Dad?
00:40:32.000 Again, with the brevity, can't you find me the exact quote he said that was offensive and then have her thought bubble saying, Dad?
00:40:40.000 I mean, they can't even, not only can they not mean, they can't even come up with signs.
00:40:44.000 Like I was at my kids' school, there's a big thing that said, no, it was a bully-free zone.
00:40:49.000 And then the word bully was crossed out.
00:40:51.000 No, I hate bullies.
00:40:52.000 So their signs said, this is a no-bully-free zone, which means it's a bully zone.
00:40:57.000 And I think the internet is a bully zone for the left because the left can't meme.
00:41:07.000 Terrorism fatigue.
00:41:08.000 ISIS attacks are losing their ability to terrify.
00:41:11.000 Did you know that?
00:41:12.000 Thanks to the Muslim apologist academic Amarnath Amarasengam.
00:41:18.000 He's from Wilfrid Laura University, place that that woman was in trouble for playing a Jordan Peterson video.
00:41:23.000 So he's here to tell us about it.
00:41:25.000 And his point is that what's happening here is we have become numb to the violence.
00:41:31.000 As the once shocking violence becomes normalized, they are no longer able to muster the requisite outrage or compassion to respond.
00:41:37.000 So we become numb to them.
00:41:39.000 It doesn't work anymore.
00:41:40.000 What is he talking about?
00:41:41.000 No, we're not numb to terrorism.
00:41:43.000 We're terrified by terrorism and we're fighting back.
00:41:47.000 And the media, every time this happens, they show how out of touch they are.
00:41:50.000 Look at this.
00:41:51.000 Look at this.
00:41:52.000 CNN.
00:41:52.000 I think this may have been CNN Ireland, is it?
00:41:55.000 No.
00:41:56.000 CNN.
00:41:57.000 A pipe bomb may have unintentionally exploded, sources say.
00:42:04.000 Why did he have a pipe bomb?
00:42:05.000 What are pipe bombs meant to do?
00:42:07.000 Do you mean it didn't happen exactly when he wanted it to or how he wanted it to?
00:42:11.000 Yeah, this is not workplace violence.
00:42:14.000 This is not someone's pet pipe bomb accidentally malfunctioning.
00:42:18.000 This is terrorism.
00:42:19.000 So academics and media, once again, you show your true colors and your true colors are yellow.
00:42:26.000 Whereas here on the ground, our colors are red.
00:42:29.000 Look at this.
00:42:30.000 This is what happened.
00:42:32.000 We say, get off my lawn.
00:42:34.000 And you say, no, I'm going to blow up your lawn.
00:42:36.000 Ala Akbar.
00:42:37.000 Then you blow your balls up and guess what we do?
00:42:40.000 We come over and we say, hi.
00:42:43.000 Wham, wham, wham, wham.
00:42:46.000 Beautiful, beautiful.