Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 29, 2018


Get Off My Lawn #53 | Roseanne is cancelled and Tommy's in jail!


Episode Stats

Length

38 minutes

Words per Minute

163.89105

Word Count

6,318

Sentence Count

523

Misogynist Sentences

24

Hate Speech Sentences

33


Summary

I m Obsessed with my son, who s growing up, and how he s going to grow up so fast. I m also obsessed with the fact that he s not going to be the little kid anymore. I like hanging out with him and answering his questions and hearing who his favorite superheroes are and who his best friends are, but that person is going away. I mean, your friends don t really change. Over the years, they might even switch politically. But not little kids. There s very little nine-year-old Duncan has in common with five-year old Duncan. And the way Johnny, my five year old, thinks that he's into anteaters and he thinks they eat turd bites is pretty similar to nine year old Duncan, who thinks a termite is called a turd bite. And it s only a matter of time before someone tells him I m going to kill him, and I m gonna kill whoever tells him that. I m sick of them being little kids, I m sorry. I know it s a bummer when they grow up, but they ll never be little kids again. I just like them when they re 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, etc. But once they stop being the cute kid who gets words wrong, it s not that bad anymore. It s not so bad anymore, right? It s a drag, man. What s a little kid now? I ll tell you what I think about it. I llllllllleeee? What a drag it ssssssss! XOXO, JUICY! -JOSH JOSH MILLER JOSH CHANEYE - JOSH YANKEE JOSH MEYER TALKING ABOUT THIS EPISODE: JOSH MCCARTO JOSH MAJOR JOSH MOORE JOSH MILEY JEANCHEY JOSH MICHAEL JAMES JAYES JOSH OCHEAN OCHTERBERNIE JAYE RYAN O CHEESE JOSH MAYOLEE JAMES CHAD CHAD OLEAN KELLY CHAD YELLOW JOSH NAYE JORDAN JOSH MARCHAN OLEEN JOSH TAYLOR DADDY SON


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Roseanne is cancelled and Tommy's in jail.
00:00:04.000 This one might get a little political, dudes.
00:00:07.000 I like to keep this podcast funny and family-ish.
00:00:11.000 Not family-oriented, because there's lots of swearing and sex and stuff, but like, pro-family.
00:00:16.000 I think I'll do one on how... No, I have to be very careful saying this.
00:00:24.000 My son is dying, but he's not dying.
00:00:26.000 Calm down, calm down, calm down.
00:00:28.000 But the concept of your kid is dying.
00:00:30.000 This is what the podcast is going to be about and then I'll get to what it's going to be.
00:00:34.000 I'm kind of obsessed with this thing with my son who's five.
00:00:40.000 His personality is going away because he's growing up.
00:00:43.000 So the little dude that's sitting there, that funny little five-year-old who says things like, hey dad, what if you were walking on this banister upside down on your hands?
00:00:53.000 So you were doing a handstand walking along this banister, and then you jump from the banister to this car, and then you jump back off the car onto the banister, but you hit so hard your arm fell off.
00:01:04.000 That's a question he asked me the other day.
00:01:06.000 I love that guy.
00:01:08.000 I like hanging out with him.
00:01:09.000 I like answering his questions and
00:01:11.000 Hearing who his favorite superheroes are and who his best friends are and stuff and how the order, you know, changes.
00:01:18.000 But that person is going away.
00:01:23.000 Like, for example, my other boy, he was super into the Ghostbusters.
00:01:27.000 Obsessed.
00:01:28.000 I mean, from Super Sculpey to Paper Mâché, he's made about a hundred slimers over the years.
00:01:33.000 He was really into art projects.
00:01:35.000 Now he doesn't do projects, doesn't make anything artistic.
00:01:38.000 It's just baseball, baseball, baseball.
00:01:40.000 So the Ghostbusters' donkey, Dunkey Lunks, is gone.
00:01:44.000 Dead.
00:01:45.000 He'll never see him again.
00:01:46.000 Isn't that weird?
00:01:48.000 I mean, your friends don't really change.
00:01:52.000 Over the years they might, they rarely even switch politically.
00:01:56.000 But even if they do, they're still that person.
00:01:59.000 But not little kids.
00:02:02.000 There is very little nine-year-old Duncan has in common with five-year-old Duncan.
00:02:08.000 And the way Johnny, my five-year-old, he thinks that he's into anteaters and he thinks they eat quote-unquote turd bites.
00:02:18.000 So he thinks a termite is called a turd bite.
00:02:21.000 Now, it's only a matter of time before someone tells him termite, and I'm gonna fucking kill whoever tells him, but the kid who thinks if you spin around a lot you get really busy because he doesn't know the difference between busy and dizzy, that's going away.
00:02:36.000 And even when he was a baby, because he's my last one, when I was changing his diapers, I had no- there was nothing remotely gross about it.
00:02:42.000 The other two, you go, oh great, you got shit everywhere, now I gotta clean this up.
00:02:46.000 With the last one, I was like, this could be my last little turd that I ever deal with, as far as diapers go.
00:02:53.000 And then one day that happened.
00:02:55.000 The last diaper.
00:02:56.000 Bye baby.
00:02:57.000 13 million views on how to fight a baby.
00:03:00.000 That little baby's gone.
00:03:03.000 Goodbye.
00:03:05.000 And my little five-year-old, his little personality.
00:03:07.000 Soon he'll just say, hey dad, can you drive me to baseball?
00:03:10.000 Gone.
00:03:11.000 Little kid is gone.
00:03:13.000 Sucks.
00:03:16.000 Jerry Seinfeld says, they don't grow up so fast.
00:03:19.000 Usually when they're like nine, I was kind of getting sick of them being eight.
00:03:24.000 There should be that way for about a year.
00:03:25.000 He's fine with everything.
00:03:26.000 I kind of agree with him.
00:03:28.000 Like, once they stop being the little kid, the cute kid who gets words wrong, it's not that bad.
00:03:32.000 9, 10, 11, 12 are all basically the same.
00:03:35.000 But 5 to 6, it's a bummer, man.
00:03:37.000 What a drag it is getting older!
00:03:44.000 So in the news, do do do do do do do do do do do do saw the news today.
00:03:48.000 It was talking about what's her name?
00:03:51.000 Markle Markle, Meghan Markle, the one who married Prince Harry.
00:03:54.000 Her mother was shopping the other day and she was just wearing cheap shorts from Target.
00:04:00.000 That was a full page article on Daily Mail or something with tons of pictures of her wearing not expensive shorts.
00:04:08.000 Fuck, imagine being that journalist?
00:04:11.000 Like these two childless spinsters who wrote an article for I think Salon about how one of the guys from The Bachelor occasionally likes, not tweets, but likes a potentially transphobic tweet.
00:04:26.000 Nope, can't do that.
00:04:28.000 There's so much scrutiny on the right, especially white people, where they can just do no right.
00:04:35.000 And meanwhile, actors can sit there talking about how they want to kill Trump.
00:04:39.000 I mean, it took decapitating Trump and having blood dripping out of his neck to screw up a liberal actor's life.
00:04:47.000 But Roseanne, they were just, they were, I bet the writers hated her.
00:04:51.000 And the rest of the staff was just, well, I'm sure the rest of the actors were just happy to have a gig.
00:04:55.000 Including her black granddaughter.
00:04:59.000 But she said, Valerie Jarrett looks like Planet of the Apes and Muslim Brotherhood had a baby.
00:05:08.000 Now, the DNC is in bed with the Muslim Brotherhood in a disturbing way.
00:05:13.000 Way too much.
00:05:14.000 And we know that Obama was not kind to Israel.
00:05:16.000 So Rosanna hates him.
00:05:20.000 And, Valerie Jarrett.
00:05:22.000 Valerie Jarrett was Obama.
00:05:24.000 She lived in the White House.
00:05:25.000 She lives in his fucking house right now.
00:05:29.000 She used to decide who comes to dinner at the White House, and who has to sit over there, and who can visit Obama, and what Obama gets to say to whom.
00:05:37.000 She was the Rasputin of the White House, and now she's in his house today saying who can sit where.
00:05:42.000 What a pussy he is.
00:05:44.000 It's because, you know, you saw him riding his bike with his little helmet on with his mom jeans.
00:05:48.000 His dad left, so he's just like a little lady.
00:05:53.000 Child of a single mom.
00:05:54.000 Sorry, guys.
00:05:54.000 It takes away your testosterone.
00:05:59.000 So Roseanne, Muslim Brotherhood, good point.
00:06:02.000 And she said Planet of the Apes.
00:06:04.000 Now, Roseanne's old.
00:06:05.000 She's probably 67 or something.
00:06:10.000 So her Planet of the Apes is the one that we saw as little kids.
00:06:16.000 So when she says Planet of the Apes, she doesn't mean the ones now where they really look like apes.
00:06:22.000 She means the Charlton Heston 1970s one.
00:06:25.000 And I think she's speaking specifically
00:06:28.000 Because I believe this crossed my mind too when I saw Valerie Jarrett.
00:06:32.000 She's speaking of Dr. Zira is her name.
00:06:36.000 And that was, I believe, in the very first Planet of the Apes.
00:06:39.000 Let me just look this up here.
00:06:42.000 Dr. Zira, by the way, was played by a white woman.
00:06:45.000 I guess that's irrelevant.
00:06:47.000 Let me look her up here.
00:06:49.000 Dr. Zira.
00:06:50.000 I'll figure it out later.
00:06:51.000 See how going to a computer ruins the conversation?
00:06:54.000 Hey, people in bars!
00:06:56.000 Stop pulling out your phones!
00:06:58.000 Actually, why is your phone on the bar?
00:07:00.000 Put your phone in your pocket!
00:07:02.000 Again, the great Gerald Seinfeld had wisdom on that, where he said, um... He said, I don't care what's on your phone, don't show me.
00:07:10.000 I don't care if you met someone from outer space and you have a picture on your phone, I don't wanna see it.
00:07:14.000 Just tell me about it.
00:07:17.000 Um...
00:07:19.000 Zira, Planet of the Apes.
00:07:20.000 There she is.
00:07:21.000 Yes.
00:07:22.000 So Zira doesn't look... I guess she does look pretty monkey-ish.
00:07:26.000 But there's a newer one, Dr. Zira, that doesn't look anything like Valerie Jarrett.
00:07:33.000 But if you go back to the 70s, you kind of see she has the same hair and everything.
00:07:38.000 And Valerie Jarrett doesn't look black to me.
00:07:40.000 In fact, I've joked in the past that she looks like every race in the world combined.
00:07:46.000 She looks like a little possum or something.
00:07:49.000 But, Roseanne, and you gotta just say one thing, that wasn't remarkably sophisticated to say that.
00:08:00.000 Because you should sort of know the climate we live in, which is kind of fascist, and know that if you say ape, gorilla, or anything remotely in the same room as a black person, you're gonna...
00:08:13.000 You're gonna be, um, trounced.
00:08:16.000 Sometimes, and it's in all of us, like sometimes the waitress will ask you how you like your coffee and she's black and you'll say, uh, not black.
00:08:27.000 You're like, are you mad by the way?
00:08:29.000 Does that piss you off?
00:08:30.000 Because I don't need milk in it.
00:08:31.000 I can just have sugar.
00:08:33.000 If you would prefer me to have black coffee,
00:08:36.000 We always used to joke about some guy who masturbates to black-on-white porn, and then he tells some black dude like, hey man, I was just beating off about you the other day.
00:08:46.000 Big fan.
00:08:47.000 Big, big fan.
00:08:49.000 Like the black guy's gonna go, holy shit, thanks man, that's awesome.
00:08:52.000 Did the guy have a huge dick?
00:08:54.000 Yeah, it was huge.
00:08:55.000 Probably the same size as yours, no doubt.
00:08:58.000 So I was basically watching you get off, so that was cool.
00:09:01.000 Oh, thanks dude.
00:09:02.000 Now that's a ridiculous situation, but it's kind of happening in sort of, you know, HuffPo bloggy type of atmospheres where they probably say, if you only masturbate to white porn, you have racist tendencies.
00:09:14.000 I saw gays were getting in trouble a couple years ago for having racial preferences on their dating sites, like on Grindr or whatever.
00:09:23.000 So now you're racist if you're not sucking a black guy's dick.
00:09:26.000 That seems kind of high standards, does it not?
00:09:30.000 I don't want you to be a slave.
00:09:32.000 I don't want you to have any different rights.
00:09:35.000 But should- do I have to perform sex acts on you to prove my open-mindedness?
00:09:43.000 I saw Dr. Zira, the Planet of the Apes doctor.
00:09:46.000 I looked her up and she's been compared to people all over the place.
00:09:51.000 Everyone basically weird-looking has been compared to Dr. Zira, including Tan Mom.
00:09:56.000 And by the way, Mark Dice put up a tweet that had about 50 examples of Trump being called a gorilla.
00:10:05.000 Trump being compared to various apes.
00:10:08.000 So as my wife pointed out, it's kind of racist that your mind immediately goes there.
00:10:15.000 Like, like that, remember that controversy where the, the, the black kid was wearing a shirt and it said something like, uh, funnest monkey in the jungle?
00:10:27.000 Or something like that?
00:10:27.000 Coolest monkey in the jungle?
00:10:30.000 Yeah, you don't have to find it, Dave.
00:10:33.000 Um, when I saw that shirt, I'm wonderfully non-racist, believe it or not, so when I saw that shirt, I just saw a kid
00:10:39.000 That's called a monkey.
00:10:41.000 Everyone calls their kids monkeys.
00:10:42.000 They act like monkeys.
00:10:43.000 All kids are monkeys.
00:10:45.000 Mike Cernovich calls his daughter a little baby gorilla or something.
00:10:49.000 They're always climbing stuff.
00:10:50.000 And shrieking and jumping around.
00:10:53.000 So you just saw, yeah, he's the coolest monkey in the jungle, that's him.
00:10:57.000 But liberals see that because they have racism on their mind in a constant loop.
00:11:02.000 They saw and they're like, oh, I see.
00:11:04.000 So he's a monkey, is he?
00:11:06.000 Would you give him a banana?
00:11:07.000 Should he be in chains?
00:11:09.000 That's probably what you want.
00:11:10.000 Chuck D said that to me, the public enemy singer.
00:11:13.000 I said, stop talking about terrorism, Chuck.
00:11:16.000 You made a video where my head explodes.
00:11:18.000 You love the concept of terror.
00:11:20.000 Because he did that in a video.
00:11:21.000 I'm sure you've seen it or heard about it where it was like that Prophets of Rage band and it was blowing up all the people he hates and my head is in the video and my head blows up.
00:11:30.000 And Chuck D's immediate response, like all white liberals, was, uh, oh yeah, it was a watermelon, dummy, not your head.
00:11:40.000 Technically, there is a fraction of a frame where my head is replaced with a watermelon and then blows up.
00:11:46.000 So, no, it wasn't a watermelon.
00:11:47.000 But he goes, it was a watermelon, idiot.
00:11:49.000 And that's probably what you'd like me to be, in chains, eating a watermelon and having some fried chicken, am I right?
00:11:57.000 What?
00:11:58.000 Dude, I don't, I don't have to go there.
00:12:00.000 I got a million things I could make fun of you about before race.
00:12:04.000 Race would be at the very bottom of the list of the Chuck D make fun of list.
00:12:11.000 Closer to the top would be the fact that Chuck D thinks, thinks the establishment
00:12:17.000 Created Flavor Flav's terrible sitcom to make Flavor Flav look ridiculous and to delegitimize Public Enemy because Public Enemy was a threat to the state.
00:12:31.000 Charles, nobody, none of the elites, nobody with power gives a flying fuck about Public Enemy or Prophets of Rage or Chuck D. You are totally mainstream, embraced by music magazines, takes a nation of millions, is constantly making top 50 albums, top 10 albums of all time.
00:12:54.000 I think you're in the fucking Rock and Roll Hall of Fame despite not playing any rock and roll.
00:12:59.000 So, you're not a threat to society, I'm afraid.
00:13:02.000 You are a entertainer who dances around and sings songs that people all love.
00:13:08.000 That are good, by the way.
00:13:10.000 Fight the powers of fucking jam!
00:13:15.000 That beginning part?
00:13:19.000 Was that Terminator X?
00:13:20.000 Every time I talk to Raheem Kassim from Breitbart UK, I just think of Radio Raheem playing that song on his ghetto blaster.
00:13:28.000 Any his-nods?
00:13:29.000 You want to talk about someone who is a threat to the state, it's Tommy Robinson.
00:13:34.000 But let's go back to the chubby Jew, Roseanne, who's awesome, but lady,
00:13:41.000 You know that we live in an insane world and if you have a joke with the word ape in it and there's a black person also even tangentially related to the joke, you have to know that everyone is going to go ballistic no matter how innocent you are.
00:13:54.000 I know you're not racist.
00:13:56.000 I know that there's a black, you have a black granddaughter on your show.
00:13:59.000 I know that all, that politically what you really deeply care about is Judaism and Israel.
00:14:04.000 I'm backing you on that.
00:14:07.000 But you also have to know there are people out there
00:14:09.000 There are coyotes just drooling, salivating, waiting for you to trip so they can come in and bite your neck.
00:14:15.000 And you tripped.
00:14:17.000 And it sucks, because my family was making that a tradition.
00:14:22.000 I could finally watch a show with my kids that we all liked, that had become a family tradition.
00:14:27.000 Every Tuesday at 8 o'clock, we watched Roseanne.
00:14:30.000 And they were dealing... I mean, it was a little left-wing, to be honest.
00:14:34.000 Their trans kid who likes to wear dresses on the show.
00:14:40.000 But she was confronting the opioid epidemic.
00:14:43.000 And I believe that's killed about two...
00:14:46.000 Million Americans so far.
00:14:49.000 I mean, we all know some.
00:14:51.000 I saw a dude, this is many years ago, maybe five years ago, I saw just a dead guy on the side of the road at my place upstate.
00:14:57.000 Just lying there, dead.
00:14:59.000 I talked to the local cops, who I know, because they would also plow my driveway, which is a smart thing to do in small towns.
00:15:05.000 Make sure the guys that work for you are cops, so you have a good relationship when you get caught drunk driving.
00:15:12.000 And he said, I said, what's going on there?
00:15:14.000 Oh, this guy OD'd at a party.
00:15:16.000 They were all hanging out doing Oxy, so they just dragged his body over to the road.
00:15:21.000 And I go, those dummies think that will work?
00:15:23.000 And he goes, it actually does work.
00:15:26.000 That's the fun thing when you talk to cops about stupid ideas.
00:15:29.000 They go, that's worked.
00:15:31.000 It's actually better to have the body out of your house.
00:15:34.000 Or, you know what else a cop told me the other day?
00:15:36.000 That thing about, these aren't my pants, man.
00:15:38.000 I just put on my cousin's pants.
00:15:40.000 And I didn't see what was in them.
00:15:41.000 When they find crack in your pocket.
00:15:43.000 A cop told me, yeah, that actually works sometimes.
00:15:48.000 I said to him, what percentage of your day is listening to crazy, stupid liars?
00:15:56.000 What percentage of what people say to you is true?
00:16:00.000 And he said, well as far as just basic run-ins, it's not that bad, but as far as like any dangerous situation, 100% of the time I'm being lied to.
00:16:08.000 100%.
00:16:08.000 So, because an elitist
00:16:16.000 One of the top, I think she's, I think most of these presidents that you hate or love, there's someone behind them pulling the strings.
00:16:23.000 Like in um, oh god, can you look this up Dave?
00:16:27.000 Pierre Trudeau, oh sorry, Justin Trudeau hired this guy as his political advisor.
00:16:31.000 He's got a funny name, Gerard Butz, there it is.
00:16:34.000 Gerard Butz is Justin Trudeau.
00:16:37.000 Justin Trudeau doesn't really make decisions, he doesn't write his speeches, he doesn't decide who he wants to meet or where he wants to go.
00:16:43.000 Gerard Butz is in control, and Gerard Butz is clearly an imbecile, because he's really making it bad for Justin.
00:16:49.000 Like, Justin was getting made fun of too much recently, and so Gerard goes, you know what?
00:16:55.000 Canadians love our multiculturalism, especially India, because they really assimilated well, but retained most of their culture, sort of.
00:17:02.000 So go there, and just dance around and stuff.
00:17:05.000 And then he did that and became an even bigger laughing stock.
00:17:09.000 So maybe Gerard wasn't sophisticated enough to realize that this bumbling buffoon, this real-life Homer Simpson, is going to actually make things worse by going to India because he's gonna wear a different costume every fucking day.
00:17:25.000 With little dots, Hare Krishna dots on his head and Namaste prayer hands with his whole family.
00:17:30.000 Yeah, maybe Gerard is just like, I can't, this guy's too hard to, to, to manipulate.
00:17:35.000 I mean, it's not that he's, he's not manipulable.
00:17:39.000 He's very malleable.
00:17:40.000 But every time I sort of try to teach it something, it goes off on a tangent.
00:17:48.000 Anyway, um, Gerard Butz controls Justin Trudeau.
00:17:54.000 Valerie Jarrett controlled Obama.
00:17:57.000 She was the real boss there.
00:17:59.000 And so, you don't offend her.
00:18:01.000 Don't say anything bad about her.
00:18:03.000 Even if something is seemingly almost racist, boom, show cancelled within minutes!
00:18:09.000 I don't know, I don't know, from the tweet to ABC cancelling Roseanne was seconds.
00:18:14.000 That's because
00:18:15.000 You don't offend the elites.
00:18:17.000 You don't question the elites.
00:18:18.000 You don't threaten the elites.
00:18:19.000 And that's why they're elites.
00:18:21.000 That's why they rose to powers, because they want that kind of authority.
00:18:26.000 And this happened with Tommy Robinson, too.
00:18:29.000 So here's what happened in Britain, and I talk about this on my show, but you don't have a prescription to it, so you don't want to be medicated.
00:18:37.000 England has had immigration for a long time.
00:18:40.000 And it's good for them.
00:18:43.000 They got a big wave of Jamaicans in the 70s when I was a kid.
00:18:48.000 They got a big wave of Indians pretty much throughout time, but more in the 80s and 90s.
00:18:54.000 Actually, I'm not even sure about that, but they've got lots of waves of Indian immigration.
00:19:02.000 But those two groups came from Commonwealth countries.
00:19:06.000 Indians are, and many Pakistanis for the record,
00:19:13.000 They are anglicized.
00:19:15.000 They drink tea.
00:19:16.000 They like classical music.
00:19:17.000 They all play cricket.
00:19:20.000 They get English jokes.
00:19:21.000 And if you've noticed, when you riff with Indians, like Hindus, they're funny.
00:19:25.000 They're good at riffing.
00:19:27.000 That's rare.
00:19:28.000 And that's not a racial thing.
00:19:29.000 Russians cannot riff.
00:19:31.000 Chinese?
00:19:32.000 Go to China and tell me how many stand-up comedians are speaking Mandarin in China.
00:19:37.000 I think there's one comedian in all of China and he's white.
00:19:40.000 He's a Canadian guy who learned Mandarin and does stand-up and they're like, what is a joke?
00:19:47.000 Um, so humor is pretty impressive.
00:19:49.000 That's like assimilation gold star and Hindus got it down.
00:19:54.000 So I think maybe Brits got a little arrogant, the elites, and they go, yes, well, we've imported, um, Jamaicans and there was a bit of a row, you know, you maybe heard the clash on guns of Brixton.
00:20:08.000 But, uh, they did quite well, did they not?
00:20:10.000 Working class person?
00:20:12.000 Yeah, they did alright.
00:20:13.000 Most of the geezers at my pub are black.
00:20:16.000 My fucking granddaughter's black, actually.
00:20:17.000 Of course, he's not around.
00:20:19.000 Fucking geez.
00:20:21.000 But, uh, no, the Jamaicans did quite well.
00:20:24.000 They got Guinness, Red Stripe.
00:20:26.000 I like them, they're like a good pint.
00:20:28.000 And they're always at the soccer matches.
00:20:30.000 Yes, and then we did the Hindus.
00:20:33.000 The Indians.
00:20:34.000 And I believe that was fruitful.
00:20:36.000 Don't mind the Pakis.
00:20:38.000 They did alright.
00:20:39.000 They got corner shops.
00:20:41.000 Thing about Pakis... Please stop saying that.
00:20:44.000 Oh, sorry, mate.
00:20:44.000 You know, it's just a racial epithet.
00:20:47.000 It don't even mean Pakistani.
00:20:49.000 It means Indian.
00:20:49.000 It just means brown person.
00:20:51.000 I know, but I don't like it.
00:20:53.000 Right, right, right, right, right.
00:20:54.000 Take it easy.
00:20:54.000 Sound, sound, sound, sound, sound, sound.
00:20:57.000 But the thing about Indians, they're not stealing jobs.
00:21:00.000 They work the corner shop that wasn't normally there.
00:21:03.000 And they work in rough neighbourhoods and shit.
00:21:05.000 They got machetes when it goes down.
00:21:08.000 But I don't got a problem with him.
00:21:10.000 He's a lot of my mates.
00:21:10.000 I tell you what, I'm at the point now when people ask me about British food, and I know it's a cliche to talk about food when you're talking about how much you love a culture, but I've got to say it.
00:21:24.000 Having a kebab late at night, that's more British food to me than fish and chips.
00:21:30.000 I cannot believe I'm saying it.
00:21:32.000 But it's something about the way the curry soaks up the booze that every time I'm away and I'm missing home, especially when I'm on the piss, I'll think, God, I could murder a kebab right now.
00:21:44.000 I could murder a curry.
00:21:46.000 So they've moved in and they made it better.
00:21:50.000 Right, well, this is why.
00:21:53.000 And I'm a little low on votes.
00:21:54.000 I'm concerned about the Tories.
00:21:57.000 I'm concerned about Labour, too, to be quite frank.
00:22:00.000 And I think I'm going to start bringing in hordes of Muslims.
00:22:03.000 Nothing unreasonable.
00:22:04.000 They'll maybe just take over Luton and some of the more soccer-hooligan areas.
00:22:09.000 Maybe they could neutralise some of these yobbos.
00:22:12.000 Some of these violent lads.
00:22:13.000 Like this gentleman, Tommy Robinson.
00:22:15.000 I don't even believe that's his real name.
00:22:17.000 Hang on a minute, mate.
00:22:18.000 What you on about?
00:22:19.000 Well, I'm going to import lots of Muslims from various African countries, Somalians, and not from the Commonwealth, obviously.
00:22:28.000 We don't really own any Muslim countries, but Pakistan, Somalia, Ethiopia, Saudi Arabia, even.
00:22:36.000 I mean, you know, I was in Morocco.
00:22:39.000 We would only go in the winter because the heat would scorch you alive.
00:22:43.000 But I was in Morocco.
00:22:44.000 And when you walk around the market, my wife was shopping for some carpets for one of our properties in Hedfordshire.
00:22:49.000 And when you walk around the market, it's just so vibrant and alive.
00:22:53.000 Oh, you should have seen me in there.
00:22:55.000 I was bartering just like one of the boys.
00:22:58.000 Oh, that's three rupees.
00:22:59.000 Oh, that's four.
00:23:00.000 I am not giving you a dime more than two.
00:23:02.000 Meanwhile, of course, it's just a matter of pence.
00:23:04.000 Throppence for most of these things.
00:23:07.000 And I thought, let's bring this here.
00:23:08.000 We could have vibrant markets.
00:23:10.000 What do you think?
00:23:12.000 No, you're talking about different things, mate.
00:23:14.000 The Yardies were our boys.
00:23:16.000 The Packies are our boys.
00:23:18.000 They go to matches.
00:23:19.000 You know how many Muslims are at a soccer match?
00:23:22.000 Fucking none, Geezer.
00:23:25.000 Go to the pitch.
00:23:26.000 Right, there's some players, there's Muslim players, like about five, but they weren't born in the UK.
00:23:33.000 They're imported because of their skills.
00:23:36.000 Which, by the way, they play in our game.
00:23:39.000 But you don't see a Muslim who was born in Britain becoming a professional football player.
00:23:46.000 Why is that?
00:23:48.000 Because they're not assimilated.
00:23:49.000 This is a different group.
00:23:51.000 Do you know what goes on with these fucking grooming gangs?
00:23:54.000 They bribe them.
00:23:54.000 They start out saying, here's some candy.
00:23:56.000 Oh, I gave you candy.
00:23:57.000 You've got to show me your 11-year-old tits.
00:24:00.000 And then they go, oh, I'm going to show this picture, everybody, unless you mess around with me.
00:24:04.000 Oh, I'm going to tell everyone you messed around with me, including your family, if you don't mess around with my mates.
00:24:08.000 Next thing you know, they're passing around a bird.
00:24:10.000 Not even a bird, a girl, a young girl.
00:24:13.000 They did it to the tune of hundreds and hundreds, thousands even.
00:24:16.000 There's grooming, gangs, it's a custom, it's a tradition.
00:24:20.000 It's not an anomaly.
00:24:23.000 Well, I think you're being a bit egregious, are you not?
00:24:25.000 No!
00:24:27.000 And the police aren't going to charge... You know what?
00:24:29.000 I think you should leave.
00:24:30.000 I'm not leaving.
00:24:31.000 I'm trying to save my country.
00:24:33.000 I'm trying to save England.
00:24:34.000 Now, you're pestering me and you're preventing me from doing my job.
00:24:38.000 Well, if your job's ruining Britain, then yeah!
00:24:42.000 I am going to prevent you from doing your fucking job, you cunt!
00:24:46.000 Come here!
00:24:46.000 Now, get him out of here!
00:24:48.000 Out!
00:24:48.000 Out!
00:24:49.000 Get him... I'm not leaving!
00:24:51.000 Yes, you are leaving!
00:24:52.000 Goodbye!
00:24:53.000 And good riddance!
00:25:01.000 Is it heated?
00:25:01.000 Is it not?
00:25:02.000 Alright.
00:25:05.000 I did not know about the grooming gangs.
00:25:08.000 I assumed it was one terrifying incident.
00:25:12.000 But here's the deal.
00:25:14.000 The ship has sailed.
00:25:17.000 That horse has bolted.
00:25:19.000 So...
00:25:22.000 What I think we could do is just start arresting people and never arresting any of these gang members and making, just avoiding it in general.
00:25:34.000 I mean, obviously, if it comes out and everyone knows about it, then yes, we must prosecute them.
00:25:38.000 But let's give them lenient sentences.
00:25:40.000 Maybe we could say something like, oh, he didn't know the word for no, or he wasn't aware of our customs where we were very against child rape.
00:25:48.000 And if anyone questions it, we'll just throw them in jail.
00:25:54.000 Oh, Tommy Robinson was there, was he?
00:25:55.000 You know what, I've had enough of him.
00:25:57.000 He started a huge rally that Gavin McInnes, of all people, was at.
00:26:01.000 He gave a terrible speech, by the way, thank God.
00:26:04.000 But, um, there was thousands of people there screaming this horrible football chant.
00:26:09.000 It goes, um, Hey, Tommy, Tommy!
00:26:12.000 Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy Robinson!
00:26:14.000 That's it!
00:26:16.000 I mean, some of the... they also have that, you know, songs like... Who's that lying in the runway?
00:26:23.000 Who's that dying in the snow?
00:26:25.000 Or that... Can you go a chicken supper, Bobby Sands?
00:26:30.000 You know, horribly offensive songs, but at least there's some rhyme or reason to them.
00:26:34.000 But this Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy Robinson crap...
00:26:38.000 It doesn't go anywhere.
00:26:40.000 It just shows how primal they are.
00:26:42.000 They're like cavemen.
00:26:43.000 And cavemen have to be tamed.
00:26:46.000 They're savages.
00:26:47.000 And so, when we give them a sentence, we must make it harsh.
00:26:52.000 And we must put them in areas where these Muslims are.
00:26:55.000 Yes, obviously I regret bringing them here in droves, but now that we're here, we have to cover our tracks, obviously.
00:27:03.000 So, I want Tommy in jail.
00:27:05.000 I want him in a Muslim jail.
00:27:06.000 I understand we tried that already and they threw boiling water at his face, which would have been perfect, but of course, being the yobbo that he is, he digged them out and delivered many fatal blows.
00:27:16.000 Not fatal, unfortunately.
00:27:17.000 Actually, yes, fortunately.
00:27:21.000 So, I understand recently that he was at a sentencing and there was two gentlemen there who had raped many children and he was rude to them.
00:27:33.000 So we threw him in jail for a year with no trial.
00:27:38.000 And that is what happened.
00:27:42.000 Now, legally,
00:27:45.000 I was talking to Ezra Levant about this on the show.
00:27:48.000 And by the way, I've been talking to Tommy's people and they're very standoffish.
00:27:52.000 Like, don't raise money, don't even- His lawyer was saying don't have the media ban lifted.
00:27:57.000 Oh yeah, that's an integral part of the story.
00:27:58.000 The media were told they may not report on this case.
00:28:01.000 That way no one will hear about it, right?
00:28:03.000 Elites?
00:28:04.000 Is that how it works?
00:28:05.000 Hey, Valerie Jarrett, why don't you tell Twitter they may not discuss the Roseanne Barr cancellation?
00:28:12.000 So, but his lawyer I think was saying don't have the media ban lifted because I'm scared that Tommy's going to say something that's going to piss off a judge and it's going to fuck up his parole.
00:28:21.000 Alright, so I mean I think I could have raised a million bucks.
00:28:24.000 Canada, America, all my Australia guys.
00:28:29.000 They're calling me saying, I'm about to go on, you know, national television.
00:28:33.000 I need a website to plug.
00:28:34.000 And I go, I don't have one, buddy.
00:28:36.000 I don't think they want one.
00:28:38.000 There's even all these philanthropists, billionaires who are happy to pay for illegal fees of people when they really respect and admire them.
00:28:45.000 And it's strictly about free speech and, you know, not that, not that, what's the word, nuanced.
00:28:50.000 And this is a very cut and dry invasion of his rights.
00:28:55.000 But, uh, the media ban has been lifted, by the way.
00:28:58.000 But I think it is technically legal.
00:29:00.000 It's, it was done under contempt of court.
00:29:03.000 And what that is, is, you know, you're in court and someone keeps screaming and threatening to kill, say, someone who raped his wife or whatever.
00:29:13.000 He finds him in contempt.
00:29:16.000 And he's charged there immediately.
00:29:18.000 But wait a minute, I don't think he's sentenced immediately.
00:29:21.000 That's gotta be unique.
00:29:22.000 I don't know anything about British law.
00:29:23.000 But hey, British lawyers out there, can you tell me of another time when someone was found in contempt, got it, normal, I'm not against contempt of court laws, but was instantly sentenced right there and then to a year.
00:29:37.000 Unable to speak to their lawyer.
00:29:39.000 Now, I understand being charged, unable to speak to your lawyer, that's contempt of court.
00:29:42.000 But getting the sentencing?
00:29:43.000 Alright, now I'm getting boring.
00:29:44.000 Sorry, that's not funny.
00:29:46.000 But, he's in there, it's looking like a year.
00:29:49.000 There's people riding in the streets.
00:29:51.000 I'm telling you, man, if Tommy gets a black eye, if Tommy stubs his toe in there, Britain is going to lose its fucking mind.
00:30:00.000 You know, a couple years ago he was known as a soccer hooligan Nazi because Britain is so left-wing that if you say Muslims are predominantly populating these child rapists, that sounds like it's racist because it's mean towards Muslims, so you're a Nazi.
00:30:19.000 The end.
00:30:20.000 Truth be damned.
00:30:24.000 As these rape cases got more and more prevalent, now Tommy is pretty mainstream.
00:30:33.000 I don't know who to compare him to in the States.
00:30:36.000 Almost like a right-wing Michael Moore.
00:30:38.000 Yeah, but Michael Moore doesn't really rally the troops.
00:30:44.000 I don't know, I'm scared to compare him to anyone really.
00:30:47.000 But um, like people see him on the street, hey Tommy!
00:30:50.000 You alright?
00:30:50.000 And Scotland too, Scotland and England aren't friends, for the most part.
00:30:53.000 But he goes to Scotland, screaming matches, you alright Tommy?
00:30:56.000 When he got attacked by Antifa, these black guys walked by and they'd just seen the end of the fight and they're going, you were holding your own Tommy!
00:31:03.000 Maybe 90% of the people who see him scream, hey Tommy Tommy!
00:31:07.000 But 10%, and the 10% who don't like him are cowards, right?
00:31:11.000 So they just scowl.
00:31:13.000 So, walking down the street with Tommy is fun.
00:31:17.000 He doesn't pay for beers.
00:31:19.000 You know, I barely pay for beers just because I'm standing next to him.
00:31:23.000 And everyone's, you know, ready to rock.
00:31:25.000 And he's the life of the party, the guy himself.
00:31:29.000 Totally devoid of fear.
00:31:31.000 It's like he's had his fear gland removed.
00:31:34.000 He could get attacked.
00:31:35.000 He could see a mob of 50 Muslims coming to kill him.
00:31:39.000 Now, he obviously wouldn't want to die because he doesn't want to deprive his children of a father.
00:31:43.000 But outside of that, he would love to take them all on.
00:31:47.000 That's rare.
00:31:48.000 Especially in Britain.
00:31:50.000 Because the brave ones left and became America.
00:31:54.000 But there are still some yobs left.
00:31:56.000 There's still some proud boys over in Britain and they are not happy right now with the old elitist, statist state.
00:32:07.000 And it's gonna get a lot worse if it doesn't get better.
00:32:10.000 But the funny thing is too with them, and I'm sorry to make this such a political app,
00:32:18.000 The demographics may have made this irrevocable.
00:32:22.000 Most popular baby name in Britain is Mohammed.
00:32:25.000 What do you do now?
00:32:26.000 Deport everyone?
00:32:27.000 The Antifa on the far left think we keep advocating genocide.
00:32:30.000 I've never heard, I've talked to every freak in the world, I've never heard one person ever advocate genocide.
00:32:36.000 I've never even heard them advocate sending them home in ships.
00:32:39.000 Richard Spencer wants a white Esno state and I said to him, how?
00:32:43.000 And he said, we figured out more complex problems before.
00:32:48.000 And then he didn't really get into it.
00:32:50.000 We just like use every cruise ship in the world to send people to various random countries.
00:32:56.000 What about black and white families?
00:32:58.000 You're separated from your wife or you get to stay if you promise to wear a v-neck sweater all the time?
00:33:04.000 So no one's mentioned that because it's not logical.
00:33:09.000 And I don't think deporting... Well, that's just a stupid idea.
00:33:12.000 It's not worth talking about.
00:33:14.000 But, uh, the Muslim problem is a lack of assimilation.
00:33:17.000 They don't seem to like Britain.
00:33:20.000 A large contingent.
00:33:21.000 They tend to create their own neighborhoods and, you know, promote Sharia.
00:33:26.000 They, you know, Hispanic Americans and a lot of American immigrants will keep speaking their same language and send their kids to school that teaches that language exclusively, which isn't cool.
00:33:36.000 But they don't really want to replace the laws.
00:33:42.000 But Muslims, they want, you know, many Muslims, a shocking proportion of them, a shocking portion of them, want to replace Western law with Sharia law.
00:33:52.000 That's unusual.
00:33:54.000 I think this is the first time.
00:33:55.000 I heard Orthodox Jews do this too.
00:33:57.000 In fact, someone who works at a court sent me this disturbing document where the court was advocating for this trial to happen in a separate Jewish court.
00:34:09.000 Devoid of of Western of American law.
00:34:12.000 I got that document somewhere.
00:34:14.000 It's really bizarre but um That's the only other time I've heard of that and you know Orthodox Jews are a teensy tiny fraction of the population in Britain they're a major
00:34:31.000 Not good for entertainment, you guys!
00:34:53.000 The way Roseanne didn't and lost her show.
00:34:58.000 And you can't accuse, that's the difference between Roseanne and Tommy too is obviously his punishment is much more severe.
00:35:04.000 He could die in there.
00:35:05.000 But the other amazing thing
00:35:12.000 The other amazing thing about these two cases is Tommy couldn't be accused of negligence.
00:35:20.000 He did a mundane live stream where he was not going near the courts.
00:35:26.000 He even said allegedly about the rapists, even though they'd already been charged and they were just awaiting sentencing.
00:35:32.000 So as Lauren Southern pointed out, it was actually kind of dull to watch his live stream.
00:35:37.000 And that's what got him arrested under a breach of the peace.
00:35:41.000 Roseanne is innocent.
00:35:43.000 I mean, I don't think she meant it in a racist way, but it was also kind of, as the left likes to say, tone deaf.
00:35:53.000 Anyway, it's amazing how unfair a lot of this stuff is.
00:36:01.000 And as we get older as a culture, we get more obsessed with justice, because justice is a luxury of the evolved.
00:36:10.000 You don't hear people in third world countries or just when someone gets brained with a rock demanding justice.
00:36:17.000 We can.
00:36:19.000 Because we have a great society.
00:36:22.000 And... Losing your show for a joke is stupid.
00:36:29.000 I'm not... I'm not defending the joke itself.
00:36:34.000 I think you should be able to make horrible jokes.
00:36:37.000 But...
00:36:40.000 The fact that we live in a culture where the right is so scrutinized and anyone outside of the right can literally get away with murder is unjust and in Tommy's case it's shocking and dangerous and scary and I think it's it's
00:37:00.000 You know, the left is really bad at this kind of stuff.
00:37:02.000 They always end up making it worse for themselves.
00:37:05.000 And I think this Tommy persecution is going to make Britain a lot angrier, a lot more woke and red-pilled.
00:37:14.000 And I think you're going to see the elites getting away with a lot less after this.
00:37:20.000 Britain's been through a lot worse and all you did was wake up a sleeping giant.
00:37:25.000 Anyway.
00:37:28.000 Roseanne and Tommy do.
00:37:31.000 I'm not sure why I decided to put them together in this podcast.
00:37:35.000 Roseanne made a tone deaf joke and was punished way too hard for it, which is sad because that show was doing a lot of good for America.
00:37:44.000 Tommy, on the other hand,
00:37:46.000 is trying to save Britain and was just persecuted almost illegally for daring to question to several Muslim pedophiles.
00:38:01.000 Sorry to get so heavy on this folks.
00:38:02.000 I promise the next step will be super funny and cute and very giggly.
00:38:07.000 I like you more than a friend.
00:38:08.000 Tune in to Get Off My Lawn every Monday to Thursday and Monday to Tuesday depending on the week on CRTV.com.
00:38:17.000 We also have my show
00:38:19.000 CRTV Tonight with Gavin McInnes, which is every second Friday.
00:38:22.000 And then, of course, there's this podcast.
00:38:25.000 This one's free.
00:38:26.000 The others cost about a beer a month.
00:38:29.000 I'd like you to check them out.
00:38:31.000 And I'd also like you to get off my lawn.