Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 26, 2018


Get Off My Lawn #61 | Has everybody lost they damn minds?


Episode Stats

Length

40 minutes

Words per Minute

179.2789

Word Count

7,210

Sentence Count

553

Misogynist Sentences

42

Hate Speech Sentences

42


Summary

This week on Off The Lawn, I talk about my recent trip to the Proud Boys meetup, why I don't like selfies, and why you shouldn't even be allowed to take a picture of me if you hate me. I also talk about Sean King and why he's probably not black. I also discuss why I think it's a good idea to dress up in blackface for Halloween. And I give my thoughts on the new Sean King song, Blackface . Also, I discuss a guy who calls himself "Black" and calls himself a "Jussie Smollett type of guy. And I ask the question, is that a good thing or a bad thing? And then I get into the conspiracy theory that Sean King is not black at all, and it's because he wrote nigga on his forehead. on the back of his head. I don t know what that means, but I can tell you it's not good. If you like conspiracy theories, you're in for a treat. I'm going to tell you what it means, and you're not going to like it. You're not gonna like it, you won't like it and you'll be the first to know that I'm not a racist, racist, homophobe who writes nigger on your forehead, right? I'll tell you why you should not be a racist. and why it's better than a black person who writes nigger on his head like that says niggas or a black guy who wears blackface. or black face. It's not blackface, it means he's not a nigger. . And if you don't know who he is black, you don t need to be a nigga with a black face, then you re not a real nigger, but he's a niggot not a black person, right?! I'm sorry for not being a black, but that's what you need to know about it, brotha . . . I hope you enjoy this episode of Off The Lawn, bro it's gonna be a good one, bro! thanks for listening, brozz xoxo. - P.S. I'll be back next week! -Jon Sorrentino - Jon & Sarah Jon


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Has everybody lost their damn minds?
00:00:04.000 What a crazy week, huh?
00:00:08.000 You know, I was just, uh... I forget what... Oh yeah, I was at a Proud Boys meet-up and I had just had lunch with Milo.
00:00:17.000 And, uh... It was a very sexist lunch, by the way.
00:00:21.000 And, um... We were talking about how...
00:00:25.000 We're about, I'd say like eight out of the ten people who recognize me, like my work and admire me, and then two hate my guts.
00:00:33.000 And the two are such cowards that they don't come over and say anything, they just seethe.
00:00:39.000 And the eight come over and they take a selfie.
00:00:41.000 In a way, I prefer the seethers.
00:00:44.000 I don't know, I have these fucking selfies.
00:00:47.000 What are you doing with the selfie?
00:00:49.000 Does it become your Facebook profile?
00:00:51.000 Why?
00:00:52.000 We're not friends.
00:00:53.000 I don't know you.
00:00:55.000 I don't understand pictures with celebrities.
00:00:57.000 I was near a celebrity.
00:00:59.000 Celebrities walk down the street.
00:01:01.000 So, James Gandolfini probably passes like 3,000 people a day.
00:01:06.000 You're one of those 3,000 people that particular day and throughout his whole life.
00:01:11.000 That means... It couldn't mean less.
00:01:14.000 Like, he could be a Sri Lankan tourist that was next to him.
00:01:17.000 So, is the person a god?
00:01:20.000 Sounds very egotistical, but...
00:01:22.000 I'm kind of saying the opposite of big ego.
00:01:24.000 I'm saying, I'm not special, so why do you need a fucking picture of me?
00:01:30.000 It's... Ann Coulter says that.
00:01:32.000 She goes, my worst enemies are my fans.
00:01:35.000 Because they ruined, you know, talks and stuff.
00:01:38.000 I'm supposed to line up and pose with photos.
00:01:41.000 What are we, aboriginals?
00:01:43.000 Like, I want to get a piece of your soul.
00:01:45.000 And I'll tell you what, it kind of does chip away at your soul.
00:01:48.000 Maybe I believe the the Hundu Kubu tribe of Papua New Guinea, where they thought you shouldn't have your picture taken because it takes away part of your soul.
00:01:56.000 I think they might be right.
00:01:58.000 Because you go to something like CPAC or one of these events and you do, or that Night of Freedom with Mike Cernovich, where I did a terrible speech at the end.
00:02:08.000 And I think it's because I was just like usurped.
00:02:10.000 Same with, actually same with the Tommy Robinson thing in UK where I did a terrible speech.
00:02:14.000 I had done like a million selfies.
00:02:17.000 Milo's speech was good.
00:02:18.000 He hid in the tent.
00:02:21.000 But anyway, right after saying,
00:02:24.000 We're on the side of the people who have the courage to come over and say hi and they're on the side of the seethers.
00:02:28.000 The seethers got that message through the cosmos and have said, I'm not just seething anymore.
00:02:33.000 Now I'm going to make a fucking idiot of myself and scream hysterically.
00:02:37.000 So I think I already told you what I did on my show, Get Off My Lawn at CRTV.com about this weird looking dude.
00:02:44.000 He's Jewish.
00:02:46.000 I think he's probably Mexican.
00:02:49.000 Jewish and Mexican, and then I would assume the Mexican dad peaced out.
00:02:53.000 Actually, yeah, his dad's name's Jeremy.
00:02:55.000 His name's Ben Falding, his dad's name's Jeremy.
00:02:57.000 So the new dad is probably the stepdad.
00:02:59.000 And so he's a beige Jew.
00:03:04.000 I think pretty orthodox.
00:03:06.000 And, uh...
00:03:08.000 He looks like the fat Jewish, but as a little side note, I think this guy recognize... I've seen this before with some dudes, where they have some beigeness in them, so they call themselves black.
00:03:17.000 I personally, and I have no evidence of this, do not believe that he's black, besides the Jeremy dad.
00:03:23.000 I think he's just beige, calls himself black, and then makes that the thing.
00:03:27.000 And I saw some article we wrote, he wrote schwarza on his forehead, and said, schwarza doesn't mean black in the Jewish community, it means nigger.
00:03:35.000 So, if you're not black and you write nigger on your forehead, you were really going for it.
00:03:41.000 That's why, like with Sean King, I almost admire him for the hubris.
00:03:47.000 Because I've heard, I've heard Sean King in interviews say, you know, in high school, a lot of these niggers were saying that I'm blacker than them.
00:03:54.000 That's out of a Steve Martin movie.
00:03:57.000 The jerk.
00:03:58.000 I mean, it's one thing to dress up in blackface.
00:04:00.000 It's the other thing to go on a hip-hop show and talk about a lot of these niggas we've been talking about.
00:04:04.000 Can you imagine the balls?
00:04:08.000 I always wonder with Sean King, you know that time where you're just falling asleep and you think crazy thoughts and you get, sometimes you get super paranoid and like, what if my house was made of melba toast?
00:04:19.000 What if it's not even a house?
00:04:21.000 What if it was built the day before I bought it as a joke and I got ripped off?
00:04:25.000 And then, you know, the next morning or you have these two sort of as you're waking up and then you have coffee and a piece of cold pizza and you go, what the hell was I just thinking?
00:04:36.000 Um,
00:04:38.000 But, uh, when Sean King, talcum X, has those late night thoughts, does he, does he just go, what the fuck?
00:04:48.000 Am I out of my goddamn mind?
00:04:52.000 Have I lost my goddamn mind?
00:04:56.000 I wonder.
00:04:59.000 That's what I don't get about lying.
00:05:00.000 It must be so exhausting.
00:05:02.000 Like, Sean King is the same as, um,
00:05:07.000 is the same as you being a cowboy.
00:05:13.000 So you get up right now, you get on a plane, you head to Dallas, drive out for a little bit, couple hours, put on some boots, a hat, and just go, a lot of these cowboys say I'm more cowboy than they ever been.
00:05:25.000 I mean, A, you're worried about someone googling you, and they already found pictures of Sean as a kid, and he's white as a piece of bread.
00:05:33.000 I was gonna say toast, but toast gets pretty brown.
00:05:37.000 So one, you're worried about people going, yeah, you know that guy who come down, talking about randling cattle and kept getting the terms wrong?
00:05:43.000 Doesn't know how to shoot a gun?
00:05:45.000 I heard he's a city slicker.
00:05:47.000 So you're worried about that, A, but B, you know, I do funny accents sometimes to amuse my friends.
00:05:52.000 After doing a Scottish accent for about an hour, your mouth hurts.
00:05:56.000 Like, it's not comfortable.
00:05:58.000 Even when I'm in England sometimes, I get so sick of their fucking accents, I'm not talking about one in particular, just different accents, that I have to go into the bathroom of the pub and look at myself in the mirror and go, hello, the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, this is a normal accent, here's someone saying,
00:06:14.000 That something should be printed right now.
00:06:16.000 Oh, we're out of printer ink.
00:06:17.000 Let's get a new printer cartridge.
00:06:19.000 Here is normal talk, normal talk.
00:06:22.000 But Sean King is just... Oh, that's a little... My black accent is a little... about 30 years too old.
00:06:29.000 Sean King talks about these fine foxy mamas!
00:06:32.000 Yeah, I'm a pimp!
00:06:34.000 No, he's like, yo, basically, he does that thing that some black guys do where they try to sound more erudite than they are, and it's like, if you will, we are trying to set up a situation where the, there's like, remember that debate that What's-His-Name did with Jordan Peterson?
00:06:50.000 And he does all this stupid weird preacher talk where he's like, we are basically systematically trying to reguiltify what is happening in our society today.
00:06:58.000 And Jordan Peterson, I look across at you and I see an angry white man who is scared of his surroundings.
00:07:03.000 And I'll tell you what, I will surround you, I will envelop you, I will change you with my words.
00:07:10.000 You know, that would sound cool with a beat, but I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
00:07:15.000 You're gonna hug me?
00:07:18.000 That's the kind of black boy Sean King does.
00:07:19.000 Anyway, this guy Ben Falding who screamed at me and a bunch of kids at a kids baseball game at Coney Island where
00:07:26.000 It was sponsored by Paw Patrol.
00:07:29.000 Milo's writing about it.
00:07:30.000 It was on Big League Politics, if you want to look it up.
00:07:33.000 I think, it's just my guess, that he's a Hispanic guy, Jewish guy, pretending to be black, writing about what it's like being a black American, black Jewish American, yo.
00:07:43.000 I'm basically Lenny Kravitz and rain is coming down upon me.
00:07:48.000 Anyway.
00:07:51.000 That is indicative of a big pattern we've had this week with all these people.
00:07:55.000 I know I'm getting political, but I don't have a funny story, so I'll stick to that.
00:07:58.000 And this kind of is a funny story, like the whole shame, shame, shame.
00:08:02.000 They chase Sarah Huckabee Sanders out of the Red Hen, and then Trump goes, your awnings look like shit.
00:08:07.000 And I've always said, dirty outside, dirty inside, don't eat there.
00:08:11.000 Meryl Streep's cousins, I believe, are in the restaurant.
00:08:13.000 And now we're hearing today that the owner followed her out of the restaurant and then harassed her all the way to another restaurant.
00:08:21.000 See the thing is, they're right to do that.
00:08:27.000 If the person they're chasing...
00:08:29.000 was on his or her way to committing genocide.
00:08:33.000 So they make this Bigfoot boogeyman, like, hi, I'm a Nazi, and I'm planning a Holocaust, obviously, involving Jews, gypsies, clowns, gays.
00:08:43.000 I'm going to use the Jacob Javits Center to gas them all.
00:08:47.000 So if that archetype actually existed, and I want to kill Mexican children, and I want to separate them from their families and put them in internment camps, OK, you got a point.
00:08:59.000 That archetype existed.
00:09:01.000 And not only does it not exist, but as I've said on previous shows, even the concept of it existing is fucking insane.
00:09:09.000 It's mental.
00:09:12.000 So you may it's kind of like it goes back to this sort of evangelicals like I actually know this guy He's he's not a bad guy.
00:09:19.000 He's kind of a fun guy to hang out with but he's a preacher in Harlem I had him on my old show and he thinks Obama made AIDS in the gut the government made AIDS to and gay Sorry, sorry the Obama made homosexuals.
00:09:32.000 I don't know if they're robots or what He made them to ruin black families by making gay men black men become gays That's what that's what Obama's up to
00:09:43.000 This is a black guy saying that.
00:09:44.000 That's the same kind of realm you're in.
00:09:47.000 Or this idea of, I want to hunt cops.
00:09:51.000 You know what?
00:09:52.000 If cops were just like, hey Enos, you want to go out and shoot some Negroes?
00:09:56.000 Yeah, let's do it, boy.
00:09:58.000 I'll get in the bushes.
00:10:00.000 And when they go into a store, just fucking peg them off.
00:10:04.000 Okay, that's fucked up.
00:10:06.000 Some cops just shot your dad for sport?
00:10:08.000 I understand you fighting back.
00:10:10.000 You're describing, by the way, Venezuela or China.
00:10:14.000 There are situations where the police have that kind of power and they do corrupt it.
00:10:19.000 When I was last in China, there was a journalist who wrote about police brutality and how bad it's getting.
00:10:23.000 They beat her to death.
00:10:26.000 So, that archetype does exist somewhere, and it makes sense to fight back.
00:10:31.000 But you got the wrong guys, and they always say, I don't debate genocidal maniacs, or I don't debate cops who hunt people.
00:10:41.000 There's no use to debate you.
00:10:42.000 There's no use in free speech, because your speech is hate speech, and you keep going, no, no, no, no.
00:10:47.000 I'm not sitting there saying I want to defend my imminent genocide.
00:10:52.000 I'm saying I'm not doing that.
00:10:53.000 You got the wrong guy and that guy doesn't exist.
00:10:55.000 That's what the debate would be.
00:10:57.000 But they don't get that.
00:10:58.000 They've brainwashed themselves.
00:11:00.000 into thinking that white supremacists, which is a remarkably bizarre belief, you know, white supremacists and Nazis, not just Nazis too, not just like a crazy guy who wears the uniform that he bought on eBay or something.
00:11:15.000 Oh, I don't think you can buy them on eBay.
00:11:17.000 Who had a Nazi uniform made.
00:11:19.000 They mean like plausible, powerful Nazis who will be starting World War III.
00:11:24.000 Especially comedians.
00:11:25.000 Have you heard Judd Apatow talk about this?
00:11:28.000 And Kumanji Nanjijanji?
00:11:31.000 Kumail Nanjianjianji?
00:11:34.000 They won't shut up about it.
00:11:35.000 It's really fucking mental.
00:11:36.000 So they make this person like Sarah Huckabee Sanders into whatever Hitler's wife was, Frida Hitler pants, and Eva Braun, that was it.
00:11:47.000 And then they feel justified and moral chasing them down the street and screaming, shame, shame, shame.
00:11:54.000 That chick, Pam... ...Dudaldo?
00:11:58.000 I'm not very good with names, am I?
00:11:59.000 Pam Beda?
00:12:00.000 I think she's a Florida Attorney General?
00:12:02.000 She was going to see Mr. Rogers.
00:12:04.000 And, uh, the documentary about him that's out now that I hear is really good, by the way.
00:12:08.000 Still haven't fucking seen Upgrade!
00:12:11.000 Thanks to my wife not getting her shit together.
00:12:13.000 And now it's only playing at, like, the most disgusting, dangerous theatres out in the Bronx at 11pm.
00:12:19.000 So that's off!
00:12:20.000 Now I gotta wait for On Demand, which will be a million years.
00:12:24.000 But, um...
00:12:24.000 I hear it's a good documentary and they chase her out and they go, shame, shame.
00:12:28.000 And she says, what would Mr. Rogers think about you?
00:12:31.000 About you?
00:12:34.000 Yeah, Mr. Rogers would hate her.
00:12:36.000 And then she goes, you want to take away universal health care for people with pre-existing conditions?
00:12:43.000 Isn't that a kind of a nuanced thing to holler at someone?
00:12:45.000 It used to be, rapist, rapist, we hate the rapist.
00:12:49.000 You're a rapist.
00:12:51.000 Now it's, you don't support a insurance plan that is a little more benevolent, though alarmingly expensive and potentially cost prohibitive.
00:13:01.000 Bitch.
00:13:04.000 I don't know what the fuck is going on, to be honest.
00:13:09.000 But they like choosing the weak.
00:13:10.000 They like choosing women.
00:13:12.000 They like choosing gays.
00:13:13.000 They like choosing people with kids who are on the other side of the security fence, in my case.
00:13:18.000 But, uh...
00:13:19.000 You can keep rolling that dice.
00:13:20.000 Actually, this isn't a new thing.
00:13:21.000 You remember Black Lives Matter was going into brunches and screaming at people having brunch because they were having brunch, and I guess brunch is built on slavery or something.
00:13:30.000 I'm just toiling in them fields, cutting down them eggs.
00:13:35.000 Wee-oh, cutting up that bacon, making that breakfast for 400 years from now.
00:13:41.000 Hope the eggs are still good.
00:13:43.000 Uh, waiter?
00:13:44.000 Yeah, these eggs are 400 years old.
00:13:47.000 Uh, they're cryogenically frozen.
00:13:49.000 They're literally fossils.
00:13:51.000 So, yeah, I'm not eating them.
00:13:53.000 But slaves built them.
00:13:54.000 Oh, okay, I'll eat them.
00:13:59.000 This is a common thing.
00:14:01.000 It's sort of cyclical, isn't it?
00:14:04.000 Like, they were really nuts with BLM, and we're really just back to the brunch thing.
00:14:08.000 And it won't last very long.
00:14:10.000 It'll last, uh...
00:14:12.000 I'm going to give it five more days.
00:14:14.000 Remember the kids thing?
00:14:16.000 Kids are being separated from their children because Trump made it illegal to cross the border.
00:14:22.000 He's just enforcing the law, which is why we elected him.
00:14:22.000 No, that was Bill Clinton.
00:14:26.000 Don't bring your kids across the border.
00:14:28.000 And those aren't your kids, by the way.
00:14:29.000 Those are kids you borrowed because you heard that you get away with it if you have kids, because that's what happened with Obama.
00:14:34.000 And then he goes, fine, I won't take the kids.
00:14:36.000 And then they just dropped it.
00:14:37.000 That was like a two-day mania fair.
00:14:40.000 This booing and screaming at everyone, middle-aged woman going to get a sandwich with their dad, this will be gone in a couple days.
00:14:48.000 Although I am starting to read with a lot of the more beta the blogger is, the more impassioned his manifesto is about how we have to fight back against the bourgeoisie and burn their mansions to the ground and take their wealth and give it to the proletariat.
00:15:05.000 Yeah!
00:15:08.000 You can always tell how little experience someone has with violence and fighting by how violent and fighty they talk.
00:15:15.000 Conversely, when someone is nice, gulp, be scared.
00:15:24.000 If there is a gang and they're called the Crybabies, you should shit your pants.
00:15:30.000 If there's a gang and they're called Death Tiger,
00:15:35.000 They're probably cartoonists from Rhode Island who are hipsters and they're in a band.
00:15:35.000 You can relax.
00:15:41.000 The Mama's Boys?
00:15:43.000 Scary fucking dudes.
00:15:46.000 I am scared of the Mama's Boys.
00:15:47.000 I don't think they even exist.
00:15:50.000 But the crybabies will eat your face.
00:15:53.000 They'll stab you and they don't care if they go to jail.
00:15:56.000 I've been talking to some cops recently and they go, shit is going down.
00:16:01.000 They said, all this, like, fuck the cops stuff has led to a lot less policing, because people don't want to get sued, and fine, you don't want me here, I won't come here.
00:16:10.000 Like this outside of Chicago.
00:16:11.000 The reason the crime is so bad there is because they said, fuck the pigs, man.
00:16:15.000 Fucking stop and frisk, we don't want you here.
00:16:16.000 And they went, okay, you try it.
00:16:19.000 Two murders a day.
00:16:20.000 Two.
00:16:21.000 In a town, I think it's a third of the size of New York, and we're at one a day.
00:16:27.000 And then we just had the Trinitarios, this Dominican gang, rip a kid, who wanted to be a cop, by the way, rip a kid out of a bodega and chop him up with machetes because they thought he was in a porn with a Trinitario chick.
00:16:38.000 And then they go, oh, sorry, wrong guy.
00:16:40.000 And then they brag about it on social media, going, fuck you, pigs, you won't catch me.
00:16:45.000 So the police just caught them all and arrested them.
00:16:48.000 By the way, I'm not disparaging the Trinitarios in any way.
00:16:51.000 I don't disparage gangs.
00:16:53.000 See, that's the thing.
00:16:54.000 Like these lefties, they go, we're gonna fuck you up, bitch.
00:16:58.000 And then you meet them in public and they start shaking.
00:17:02.000 Especially women.
00:17:03.000 Like this woman I've been yelled at twice now.
00:17:06.000 And by the way, at that baseball game, I had the other 90% of the people coming up, shaking my hand, love what you're doing.
00:17:12.000 I even signed an autograph, which I fucking hate, on a ripped envelope.
00:17:17.000 What are you gonna do with that, dude?
00:17:19.000 Sell it on eBay, it must be worth a fortune.
00:17:22.000 I have a signed, ripped envelope from Gavin McInnes.
00:17:27.000 I'll sell it to you for... I don't know, can you send me a stamp?
00:17:30.000 And then when that guy gets it, what are you gonna do, put it in a nice frame?
00:17:34.000 Oh, that'll look great.
00:17:36.000 So yeah, like nine... I think there was ten people that confronted me there, and nine were great, and then one was the lunatic screaming at the kids and then running away.
00:17:45.000 But the other time was at an airport in London, and I fetishized the sort of mod skinhead culture of the early 80s, and so I had been shopping till I dropped.
00:17:59.000 And I had slim-fit Brutus, and I had Dennis the Menace kind of Beano clothes, and I had new Doc Martens shoes without the stitching.
00:18:05.000 You can't wear stitching after 30, by the way.
00:18:08.000 And I had a black herring tan.
00:18:10.000 And so I looked to them.
00:18:12.000 To me, in the context of America, it's like, what's this weird British look?
00:18:17.000 But in Britain, to someone who grew up petrified of the National Front, which is what skinheads became in the later 80s.
00:18:25.000 So they go, oh no, it's that guy from the documentary about the National Front.
00:18:30.000 And you can tell by their accent, of course, that they're rich.
00:18:32.000 They always give themselves away.
00:18:33.000 And she goes, that guy's a Nazi.
00:18:34.000 And he starts taking pictures.
00:18:35.000 Again, I'm with my fucking kids.
00:18:37.000 And I go over to her and I just go, what's the issue here?
00:18:40.000 I take a picture of her and her boyfriend.
00:18:43.000 I think I've told this story like yesterday.
00:18:45.000 Sorry about that.
00:18:46.000 And he's, he's, he can't move.
00:18:48.000 And she says, you're making a woman cry.
00:18:52.000 And I just said, what's the issue here?
00:18:53.000 Is there a sentence I said, or is there something I've done?
00:18:56.000 Like what set you off?
00:18:57.000 What, what, what, where do you get this allegation from?
00:18:59.000 You're making a woman cry.
00:19:01.000 And then she called security.
00:19:04.000 I didn't even touch her.
00:19:07.000 Uh, and that really sums up the left, right?
00:19:09.000 They're like, we're gonna throw down.
00:19:11.000 Or you see Antifa going to beat up Proud Boys like Tiny Toetze, uh, from Samoa, and he just destroyed, like, he punches them, sends them down, and you can see them on the ground going, and you realize, oh, that's your first punch!
00:19:26.000 Because we've all had our, well, I shouldn't say we've all had, but you, anyone who's had their first punch goes, oh yeah, it's a wake-up call.
00:19:32.000 Then you go, oh yeah, there's consequences for my actions.
00:19:36.000 I remember vividly calling this kid Marty, Farty Marty, when I was maybe eight.
00:19:42.000 And he was riding a unicycle, which, believe it or not, was cool in 1978.
00:19:47.000 And he got off his unicycle and just chased me, caught me, and pounded me in the head.
00:19:51.000 And I went, oh, you can't just yell shit at random dudes that are way older than you, even if it rhymes with fart.
00:19:58.000 Well, that's a wake up call.
00:20:00.000 And I don't think this generation has got it.
00:20:02.000 The way these women behave, like someone was harassing a friend of mine, trying to get him fired, and I had my lawyer track her down, and he said, you're gonna be monetarily responsible for this if you get him fired for the rest of your life.
00:20:15.000 And the way we'll calculate it is how long you would have worked there.
00:20:19.000 She starts crying, gets her parents involved, shuts down her social media.
00:20:24.000 I mean, this is the part I don't get.
00:20:27.000 Like, you go up to someone, you slap them,
00:20:30.000 You're going to get slapped back like when these I'm sorry to keep repeating myself because I talked about this on the show But you show up to a fight with a baseball bat Okay, now it's we're in the baseball leagues Like that this tiny little skinny Asian girl called for Steven Crowder to be firebombed Okay, so now you can we can call on you to be firebombed you realize like when you say harass this person's family We're gonna find your family and harass your family things don't happen in an abyss.
00:20:57.000 They don't happen in a vacuum
00:20:59.000 How can you not know that?
00:21:01.000 Stop harassing me just because I said you should be harassed.
00:21:06.000 Stop punching me just because I punched you.
00:21:10.000 It's like my kid the other day.
00:21:12.000 He said, would you eat a spider if I dared you?
00:21:14.000 And I said, yes.
00:21:15.000 You're not a tarantula.
00:21:16.000 Although, actually, well, let me get to that in a second.
00:21:22.000 I said to him, yes, but you realize that now you're in the dare zone.
00:21:28.000 And I can dare you to eat a tarantula.
00:21:30.000 It's like you're joining a gang called the Dare Gang.
00:21:33.000 You don't just get to sit on a throne and go, hey you, eat a spider.
00:21:37.000 I magically dare you with no repercussions.
00:21:40.000 Sorry, dude.
00:21:42.000 It's like jackass, you know?
00:21:43.000 They kick someone in the balls, Johnny Knoxville and those boys, they get kicked in the balls.
00:21:47.000 They're always kicking each other in the balls.
00:21:49.000 Johnny Knoxville's sperm, by the way, all the little fish, individual sperms through a microscope, they all look like they just got beat up by a gang of skinheads.
00:21:57.000 And I believe it's for kicking in balls.
00:21:59.000 And I hadn't made my kids when I was hanging out with those guys, and I fucking, I would get so mad.
00:22:02.000 I'd say, don't you dare go near these fucking, these things are, you're killing babies.
00:22:08.000 And unlike the left, I don't advocate for that.
00:22:16.000 So yeah, there's a strange arrogance from these fuckers.
00:22:20.000 And it's based on a myth that Trump is Hitler, and anyone who likes him is Hitler.
00:22:27.000 And it really is disturbing.
00:22:30.000 It's really fucking weird.
00:22:34.000 I don't get it.
00:22:35.000 It doesn't bother me.
00:22:35.000 I'm happy to fight.
00:22:38.000 But... The thing I don't get is...
00:22:42.000 I call them crazy ex-girlfriends.
00:22:43.000 We've all had ex-girlfriends that went crazy, and it's usually like two months.
00:22:47.000 I dumped this girl who was mental.
00:22:49.000 Actually, we sort of got together when I was on Ecstasy, and I thought she was a lot prettier than she was and a lot more interesting.
00:22:55.000 We had this super romantic night, and then it was long distance and stuff, and then I got to know her, and I noticed she was kind of balding.
00:23:02.000 That's a pretty serious deal-breaker, ladies.
00:23:07.000 There's a lot we can tolerate.
00:23:08.000 Droopy tits?
00:23:09.000 Yeah, okay.
00:23:10.000 Slight gunt?
00:23:12.000 I'll talk to my people, but I'm sure we can work something out.
00:23:16.000 Zero ass?
00:23:16.000 No ass at all?
00:23:19.000 I love most Asian girls I dated.
00:23:21.000 Um, you know what?
00:23:22.000 I'll just take a break from asses.
00:23:23.000 I'll go on ass-lent.
00:23:25.000 Uh, cankles?
00:23:27.000 Well, do they go away when you wear heels?
00:23:29.000 Uh, yes.
00:23:31.000 Okay, so not 100% cankles 100% of the time.
00:23:34.000 No, just 98.
00:23:37.000 Well then, fine.
00:23:38.000 I'll just thoroughly enjoy that 2%.
00:23:40.000 It's like a friend of mine was dating this girl and he said, yeah, I don't know if it's going to work out.
00:23:48.000 I think it was, what was her name?
00:23:49.000 She's famous now.
00:23:50.000 Alex Brown or something.
00:23:52.000 Alex something.
00:23:52.000 She's a news lady on CNN with very thick hair, by the way.
00:23:56.000 I kind of just gave it away.
00:23:58.000 And he goes, I don't know if I like her.
00:23:59.000 And I'm like, why?
00:24:00.000 Dude, what's the problem?
00:24:01.000 You should fucking marry her.
00:24:02.000 She's smart.
00:24:02.000 She's interesting.
00:24:03.000 She's hot.
00:24:04.000 And he goes, nah, nah, nah.
00:24:06.000 And I go, tell me the problem.
00:24:07.000 And he goes, well, first of all, she doesn't smoke and I smoke.
00:24:10.000 Oh, I'm scared.
00:24:12.000 You got to go outside to smoke.
00:24:14.000 No one, even smokers, if a couple are smokers, they should smoke outside.
00:24:18.000 You don't want your fucking house reeking of cigarettes.
00:24:21.000 The walls go yellow.
00:24:23.000 Yeah, I guess.
00:24:24.000 Well, she's kind of snobby, like she went to Brown.
00:24:28.000 I don't fucking- who doesn't like a girl because she's too fancy?
00:24:32.000 That's fucking gay.
00:24:35.000 That's all you got?
00:24:36.000 That's the best you got so far?
00:24:37.000 And he goes, well, her hair's thinning really bad.
00:24:42.000 And my comeback to that was...
00:24:51.000 Like, that's... We are incredibly open-minded as men.
00:24:56.000 Racially, we don't really give a shit.
00:24:57.000 We can work anything out.
00:24:59.000 Some guys will have weird little things, like, I don't like big areolas.
00:25:03.000 And then the other guys will laugh at him.
00:25:06.000 Like, oh, I don't like long toes or something.
00:25:09.000 So every guy has a little weird thing like that, like her teeth are too long or her forehead's too big.
00:25:15.000 That guy who has that little thing, no one shares it with him.
00:25:18.000 Everyone else laughs at him for that and makes fun of him and usually calls him a fag.
00:25:23.000 But that's usually a heavy deal break for that guy.
00:25:25.000 So you can never...
00:25:27.000 Account for that.
00:25:28.000 It's almost like a dartboard.
00:25:30.000 So just ignore that ladies ignore that part but the one thing we do all agree on is when the hair is like You could take a pen and draw something in between the hairs like a little tiny smiley face Or anything really if you could if you can write Johnny rotten in between hairs We got a we're out.
00:25:51.000 I'm sorry you can wear a hat and you can put a barrette on it, but
00:25:56.000 That is rough stuff, man.
00:25:58.000 And if that happens to you, you gotta go to Singapore or wherever.
00:26:03.000 My barber said that the plugs they're getting now are so good that he can't tell.
00:26:09.000 This is a guy who stares at hair all day.
00:26:11.000 I know a guy, a gay guy.
00:26:12.000 I don't know if I should say his name.
00:26:15.000 Starts with the letter P and ends with the letter Eater.
00:26:19.000 They take plugs from the back of your neck and put them on the top of your head.
00:26:22.000 He looks great.
00:26:24.000 Looks perfect.
00:26:26.000 So there's no excuse, ladies.
00:26:27.000 I remember I went to see Sin City once.
00:26:29.000 You know that sort of cartoony movie with Bruce Willis?
00:26:32.000 It's super stylized.
00:26:33.000 It's like a comic book and the black and white contrast is really pumped up on this blood.
00:26:37.000 It's like blindingly red because everything else is black and white.
00:26:40.000 Really cool movie.
00:26:41.000 Spellbinding to look at.
00:26:43.000 It was at the back of this theater in Manhattan that was really steep.
00:26:47.000 Forget where it was but the woman in front of me, so I was like looking down on the woman in front of me if I if I passed out
00:26:54.000 My face would smash onto the top of her head.
00:26:57.000 Not the back of her head, the top of her head.
00:26:58.000 That's how steep the seats were.
00:27:03.000 And she was going very fucking bald.
00:27:06.000 Very bald.
00:27:07.000 Like your friend bald.
00:27:08.000 Have you noticed East Indians, Indian gentlemen, Pakistanis, have you noticed they tend to be predominantly bald?
00:27:15.000 They seem to go bald and they seem to go a really bad bald.
00:27:17.000 Maybe it's the contrast of the black hair and the brown skin.
00:27:20.000 They seem to have really shitty luck when it comes to going bald.
00:27:25.000 And for a long time it's this sort of stringiness.
00:27:27.000 Anyway, that's what she had.
00:27:30.000 And I spent half the movie staring at her head.
00:27:33.000 I just thought, Jesus Christ, we're staring at not just our only deal breaker, but one of the worst examples of it in the history of man.
00:27:46.000 Like, she wasn't some old lady who had a big wart on her nose.
00:27:50.000 Oh, by the way, that's another one I don't really mind, but I don't get these women with giant warts and giant moles, like the kind that you can almost pull them off.
00:28:00.000 How can you not just have that taken off?
00:28:04.000 I mean, there's a weird thing there where, say you do that, like, say your nose is as big as a computer, and you go and get it fixed, and then someone marries you, then your kids have these giant noses.
00:28:16.000 Haven't you deceived that man?
00:28:18.000 Isn't that fraud?
00:28:19.000 Because part of our attraction, and this isn't conscious, this is evolutionary, it's in our subconscious, part of our attraction to attractive people, male and female, is I'm gonna make more beautiful people, and we'll be beautiful and popular, and we'll make the beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
00:28:34.000 That's why no one wants to fuck Danny DeVito, because they don't want some ugly little short, bald kid.
00:28:40.000 But if Danny DeVito's on stilts, and he's wearing a wig,
00:28:45.000 And then you breed with him, and then a little ugly Danny DeVito comes out.
00:28:48.000 You go, what the fuck is this?
00:28:50.000 You ripped me off.
00:28:51.000 There was a story in China where a guy sued his wife for having so much surgery because he saw his ugly kid, his ugly daughter.
00:28:58.000 Oh, she must feel great about that lawsuit.
00:29:02.000 But everyone laughed it off.
00:29:04.000 It was one of those funny stories.
00:29:06.000 A moose is in a swimming pool.
00:29:07.000 What the fuck?
00:29:08.000 But after the dust settled, I kind of went, there's kind of a philosophical argument there.
00:29:15.000 And someone told me this about the Westchester and these fancy suburbs where everyone's in finance.
00:29:21.000 Everyone's rich.
00:29:23.000 And they marry like the hottest one they can, and then the kids come out ugly or with a giant computer-sized nose, and they go, what the fuck is with my daughter's nose?
00:29:32.000 And she goes, oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I used to be a toucan.
00:29:36.000 I was actually on the Froot Loops box, nude, wearing wings.
00:29:45.000 And I guess they have a point, too.
00:29:46.000 So anyway, to go back to the woman in the theater,
00:29:50.000 I guess she should have, uh... I guess she should have... I guess she should have gone and got plugs, and then when she met a guy, go, bye-bye.
00:29:59.000 If we have a girl, she's gonna have the most disgusting deal-breaker hair in the world, and have trouble getting a guy, and then she'll have to go.
00:30:07.000 Actually, isn't this the truth with these Long Island Jewish girls, who, like, 80% seem to get nose jobs?
00:30:14.000 And then their daughters get nose jobs and their daughters get nose jobs?
00:30:17.000 I guess that's what happens, right?
00:30:18.000 I guess it's all a matter of degrees.
00:30:19.000 Depends how ugly the kids come out.
00:30:23.000 I was a fucking ugly baby.
00:30:25.000 But then my dad's ugly.
00:30:27.000 I'm like a lot- my mom's- my mom was insanely hot when my dad married her.
00:30:31.000 And- but kind of a bimbo.
00:30:34.000 I am half super smart ugly guy.
00:30:37.000 I don't know.
00:30:41.000 I had breakfast with a billionaire the other day and he was talking about the future of millennial culture and evolution.
00:30:57.000 There was a couple minutes there where I just heard meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, because I was like, this is smarty talk.
00:31:04.000 I'm in over my head right now.
00:31:05.000 That was the bimbo side.
00:31:07.000 But then other times people go, hey, what should we leave for a tip?
00:31:11.000 And you're like $372 and it should be approximately $78.
00:31:16.000 And you don't know how you figured it out.
00:31:19.000 It just magically comes to you.
00:31:23.000 That was a gay little tangent.
00:31:28.000 But yeah, it's all relative.
00:31:31.000 And the daughters of millionaires look like half hot chicks and half ugly dudes.
00:31:38.000 Back to our sponsor, WeThePeopleHolsters.com.
00:31:41.000 I'm getting my fucking concealed permit.
00:31:44.000 I can't believe it.
00:31:45.000 It's way easier
00:31:47.000 Out in the burbs than it is in Manhattan.
00:31:49.000 And in Manhattan, you feel like you're at a class called How to Fuck Eva Mendes.
00:31:54.000 And you're just like, this is... I get it all.
00:31:56.000 And, you know, you talk to her and you buy her flowers or whatever, and you show up to, like, her premiere, but it's never gonna happen.
00:32:03.000 But this is, like, how to fuck the girl next door when she's super drunk, and you guys have been getting along great, and she's lonely, and you're not ugly.
00:32:14.000 You're like, I think I can pull this off.
00:32:17.000 Although, some of the classes, man.
00:32:20.000 This is all, by the way, part of my We The People holsters read, so it all counts.
00:32:25.000 They have adjustable cant, adjustable ride, which means how it fits in your pants.
00:32:29.000 I don't know anything about guns, but I'm learning a lot.
00:32:31.000 I'm gonna get a revolver.
00:32:32.000 Some cops showed me these little tiny weightless ones.
00:32:35.000 I just want to shoot little .22s.
00:32:36.000 I don't want to blow anyone's head off.
00:32:38.000 I just want them to become incapacitated.
00:32:41.000 Although, I think I'm gonna get two handguns.
00:32:43.000 I'm gonna get a brutal Clint Eastwood revolver for...
00:32:50.000 What are the two types again?
00:32:51.000 Revolvers and pistols?
00:32:52.000 Yeah.
00:32:53.000 I'm gonna get a brutal revolver for like the home invader.
00:32:56.000 To really take him down.
00:32:57.000 But then for concealed care, I'm just gonna have a little tiny one that fits in my back pocket that all the cops have.
00:33:03.000 I actually have it written down here.
00:33:05.000 Do you wanna know what kind of gun I'm gonna get?
00:33:06.000 WeThePeopleHolsters.com?
00:33:08.000 I'm gonna get the Bodyguard 380.
00:33:11.000 Smith & Wesson.
00:33:12.000 I'm gonna get Hornady Shells 380 Auto 9 GR FTX.
00:33:15.000 So these shells...
00:33:17.000 They, uh, they're not hollow point, but they have that kind of a design where they expand.
00:33:22.000 And that's not so much to kill the guy, but it's so it doesn't go through him and kill a kid.
00:33:29.000 So it's more about protecting someone else than murdering him.
00:33:35.000 But yeah, so wethepeopleholsters.com.
00:33:37.000 If you go .com slash Gavin, you get $10 off your first holder.
00:33:42.000 So that's 24 bucks.
00:33:43.000 Their holsters are $34.
00:33:45.000 They are custom made holsters that use this special heat melding technology where the holster doesn't flop at all.
00:33:53.000 It's nice and stiff, but it's still molded to you.
00:33:56.000 Like a penis.
00:33:59.000 But I've noticed even like with cops when they show me their holsters, because having We The People holsters and being new to all this, I'm learning that the whole thing about being able to quickly re-holster, a lot of cops have floppy holsters that don't look that aerodynamic.
00:34:16.000 Not aerodynamic, but
00:34:17.000 They don't look that sharp, I guess is what I'm looking for.
00:34:20.000 They can customize this with various designs.
00:34:25.000 Let me just read one line, because I go off on total tangents here.
00:34:28.000 I have no idea if they're happy with this or not.
00:34:30.000 So I'll just do one line to totally seal the deal before we end this.
00:34:35.000 You have to conceal your carry with the WeThePeopleHolsters.com.
00:34:40.000 They are customized in style and fit, including being able to adjust cant and ride, which fatties like us, that's very helpful.
00:34:48.000 Believe me, it makes for a tight, so fit, you'll leave your wife.
00:34:57.000 Leave your wife.
00:35:01.000 Yeah, I think we're out of time, guys.
00:35:04.000 That was a fun hang.
00:35:06.000 The moral of the story today is that I totally get violence.
00:35:11.000 I mean, I've hung out with soccer hooligans.
00:35:14.000 They see the fun in it.
00:35:15.000 And it is fun fighting.
00:35:16.000 You know, it's fun to challenge yourself.
00:35:18.000 It's fun to go into the unknown and say, am I going to win this fight?
00:35:22.000 Am I going to lose it?
00:35:22.000 It's going to feel cool if I'm victorious.
00:35:24.000 I'll feel great if I lose, too.
00:35:26.000 The only time you feel bad is if you pummel some innocent person that didn't deserve it or you didn't pick on someone your own size and you just annihilated him and you totally humiliated him in front of his girlfriend.
00:35:36.000 That doesn't feel good.
00:35:37.000 But as Kyle Chapman says, justified violence feels really good.
00:35:41.000 And you're always surprised at yourself.
00:35:43.000 And I'll tell you what, there's nothing worse than a situation where you should have been violent and you didn't.
00:35:49.000 It will eat you up for the rest of your life.
00:35:51.000 I got beat up by Nazi skinheads in 1988.
00:35:55.000 And this is in my book, Death at Cool.
00:35:56.000 A giant Indian man who looked like he was out of that book, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
00:36:01.000 He showed up!
00:36:02.000 Out of nowhere!
00:36:03.000 And he said with that inimitable native Canadian accent, Hey, uh, is everything okay here?
00:36:11.000 And I said, yes.
00:36:14.000 That yes, this was fucking 30 years ago.
00:36:19.000 And that yes still bothers me sometimes at night.
00:36:23.000 Why the fuck did I say yes?
00:36:25.000 I should have said, no!
00:36:27.000 We gotta kick these guys' asses, dude!
00:36:30.000 Let's go back to back!
00:36:32.000 Oh my god, I'd be telling my grandchildren that awesome story about how me and Don Cherokee, mankiller aho, beat the living shit out of 12 skinheads.
00:36:42.000 How cool would that have been?
00:36:44.000 Nope.
00:36:45.000 I just said, no, everything's fine.
00:36:47.000 I'm totally great.
00:36:52.000 And I'm not the first person to say that.
00:36:53.000 Talk to any man and he will, I can't even remember some fights I've won.
00:36:57.000 I was trying to write down all the fights I've had for this, this other show.
00:37:01.000 And it was sort of like writing everyone you've had sex with.
00:37:04.000 You go, Oh yeah.
00:37:05.000 No, there was that.
00:37:06.000 It was Amanda's friend too.
00:37:07.000 I ended up fucking her when she went away to Vancouver.
00:37:10.000 So that's two right there on that one trip.
00:37:13.000 Now, I couldn't possibly write them all down now because I'd get carpal tunnel syndrome, but same with fights, all the ones.
00:37:21.000 I sort of won that one.
00:37:22.000 You could say I won that one.
00:37:23.000 And they're a blur.
00:37:25.000 And sometimes your friend will remind you of one and you go, oh shit, yeah.
00:37:29.000 Yeah, that ended up becoming a fight, didn't it?
00:37:31.000 But with the fight where you should have fought and you didn't fight, oh my God, it is engraved in steel on a plaque on your wall in the I'm a Pussy Hall of Fame.
00:37:42.000 So guys, if there's a situation where you should be violent, some lady's getting accosted, just pick yourself up by the scruff of your neck.
00:37:51.000 Don't ninja it.
00:37:53.000 You're not going to be Chuck Norris.
00:37:54.000 And just throw yourself in there.
00:37:55.000 Put your hands on the back of your back and shove yourself in there and go, do it pussy.
00:38:01.000 And maybe it'll only last three seconds.
00:38:02.000 You just, you have to have done something.
00:38:05.000 And even if he beats the crap out of you, that's fine.
00:38:10.000 Which, of course, we see in the trailer for UPGRADE, where he lets the computer take over because he's losing and then he kicks the guy's ass!
00:38:19.000 Maybe that's the only thing you regret more than not justified violence, not fighting someone you should have fought, is when UPGRADE was in theaters, and you just let it drift away to the ghetto, and now you have to wait for fucking On Demand.
00:38:33.000 Folks, please go to CRTV.com and register for my two shows, Get Off My Lawn and CRTV Tonight with Gavin McInnes.
00:38:42.000 We have a special July 4th episode coming up on July 6th, all devoted to the bonnie old US of A. I had kind of an epiphany.
00:38:48.000 I don't want to give away my monologue.
00:38:51.000 But Kurt Schiller is going to be on the show.
00:38:55.000 But my epiphany I had was the Americans didn't kick the British out in 1776.
00:39:02.000 The English kicked the English out.
00:39:05.000 Politics is two types of people.
00:39:07.000 People who want to be left alone, people who won't leave them the fuck alone.
00:39:11.000 The first group said, you know what?
00:39:13.000 Fuck this.
00:39:15.000 We got away, we rode 3,000 miles to get away from the king and the queen and I'm still sending her my paycheck?
00:39:23.000 No.
00:39:24.000 So in a way, it's similar to Trump in that they decided to drain the swamp.
00:39:28.000 They decided to say, fuck the government, let's blow it all up.
00:39:31.000 See, people see Trump as the establishment.
00:39:33.000 The reason he's getting so attacked is because he's not the establishment.
00:39:37.000 The media is the establishment, the old GOP, the old conservatives.
00:39:41.000 That's why he's so hated in DC, by the way.
00:39:43.000 I only learned this after going there every week.
00:39:47.000 Of course liberals hate him because they're stupid, but the Republicans hate him too because he's firing them all.
00:39:53.000 So people in DC, they've been relying on the swamp to pay their mortgage.
00:39:56.000 They hate his guts.
00:39:58.000 The right in DC, the establishment right, despises him.
00:40:02.000 So maybe 5% of people like him.
00:40:05.000 And I know them all.
00:40:07.000 I think I've had them all on my show.
00:40:10.000 So that's gonna be the angle, and I like you more than a friend, and goodbye!