Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 13, 2018


Get Off My Lawn #81 | Get Your Kids a Flu Shot Now!


Episode Stats

Length

41 minutes

Words per Minute

166.01376

Word Count

6,837

Sentence Count

626

Misogynist Sentences

53

Hate Speech Sentences

33


Summary

Justin Trudeau is a rich kid, a decadent sex pig, a self-indulgent, spoiled brad who probably has weird, gross threesomes with men and women. And I have no doubt that throughout his life, he s been performing fellatio on men and having threesome with men, and sucking on toes and doing yoga.


Transcript

00:00:20.000 Live from New York, it's head-up on one, Dublin Beginners.
00:00:30.000 I'm going to wait for the next one.
00:00:53.000 Wow.
00:00:55.000 That's a truck called Red Electronic Pow Wow, I believe is that song.
00:01:00.000 They're winning a bunch of awards up in Canada.
00:01:02.000 They're from my hometown of Ottawa, eh?
00:01:06.000 But we've got a very Canadian-occentric show.
00:01:08.000 They just, Ian Campo is one of their main members.
00:01:11.000 He just split to focus on First Nations activism.
00:01:14.000 They obviously don't call them American Indians up there.
00:01:17.000 I don't think I've ever heard a song with Indian music in it that I didn't like.
00:01:22.000 Like that song by MDC, Massacred and Dismembered Culture.
00:01:27.000 The drums.
00:01:28.000 That's, you know, that's the reason a powwow is called a powwow, I think.
00:01:32.000 Because it's so dramo-centric.
00:01:34.000 You know what's cool about my wife's powwows is they'll have the, because they're all dry, no drink at powwows.
00:01:41.000 But afterwards, the men will go off into the woods and they'll drink and have their own powwow later that, you know, no white people or women are allowed at.
00:01:50.000 And they can party all night just pounding those drums and singing.
00:01:54.000 Sounds fun.
00:01:54.000 Wish I was invited.
00:01:59.000 I got a fun show for you today.
00:02:02.000 This thing, I'm coughing here.
00:02:04.000 Get your flu shot now.
00:02:05.000 I don't know if I condone that.
00:02:06.000 It's funny that the titles of all these shows come from the post and half the time we barely even discuss them.
00:02:11.000 I don't know if you should get your kid a flu shot.
00:02:14.000 Don't take my advice.
00:02:15.000 I'm not a doctor, but I think you got to give your kids the old college try with diseases.
00:02:20.000 You know?
00:02:22.000 Let their immune system work.
00:02:24.000 Hey, three days with over 100 degrees, you got to start getting involved.
00:02:28.000 But if it's just been a day, I got a great little app.
00:02:31.000 I got this smartphone thermometer that's called, it's like VIX Vapor Rub, sponsored by them.
00:02:37.000 You have the app on your phone.
00:02:38.000 It saves your kids names and pictures of them, and it monitors their temperatures.
00:02:43.000 You can see what time they've been at 100, and as you measure the temperature, it goes up.
00:02:47.000 It was like 40 bucks, but it's invaluable.
00:02:50.000 Today on this Canadian Occentric show, we're going to talk about Justin Trudeau.
00:02:55.000 I have some inside gossip that he is melting down, and all he does is sit alone, surrounded by security guards, reading tweets.
00:03:03.000 His wife's about to leave him, and he's deteriorating as we speak.
00:03:07.000 But he's always been a rich kid, a decadent sex pig, a self-indulgent, spoiled brad who probably has weird, gross threesomes with men and women.
00:03:17.000 Like he's sort of like Bacchus meets Caligula.
00:03:24.000 And I have no doubt that throughout his life, his marriage, he's been performing fellatio on men and having threesomes with men and sucking on toes and doing yoga.
00:03:33.000 And they probably wear things around their neck, like bandanas and stuff, and have incense going, like really disgusting stuff.
00:03:40.000 The room just smells of incense and body fluids.
00:03:44.000 But here's some evidence of that.
00:03:45.000 This is back when he was on a show with alleged rapist Gian Gameshi.
00:03:51.000 I don't like Gian Gameshi.
00:03:53.000 He's left-wing.
00:03:53.000 He works for the CBC, but I think he was innocent with those allegations.
00:03:57.000 But a very sexual guy, Gian.
00:03:58.000 So they might have been referring to something that already happened here.
00:04:01.000 But Justin Trudeau is flirting with Gian in this scene.
00:04:05.000 Very generous.
00:04:07.000 Because you're very handsome.
00:04:09.000 Thank you, Justin.
00:04:11.000 Kiss him.
00:04:13.000 I think because the kiss him.
00:04:18.000 Kiss him.
00:04:18.000 And then he winks at her.
00:04:20.000 We already have, haven't we, my darling?
00:04:24.000 Not that there's anything wrong with that.
00:04:27.000 But before we get to that, I'm also going to talk about Amy Schumer's new movie.
00:04:31.000 I think it's good.
00:04:32.000 I like the premise.
00:04:33.000 I have problems with Amy Schumer, but I think she came up with a good idea for this movie, or someone else did for her, as is her want.
00:04:39.000 And it's got a good message, but gigantic fat pigs are furious because she's not fat and ugly enough in it.
00:04:45.000 The insatiable social justice warriors.
00:04:47.000 We've got Miles McInnes.
00:04:49.000 My brother is going to be on talking about how cool Kim Jong-un's sister is at the Olympics.
00:04:54.000 But before that, we're going to talk to Fleckis about low standards at the Olympics.
00:04:59.000 No one seems to agree with me except Austin Fleckis on this.
00:05:03.000 And Austin Fletcher, I think, is his real name.
00:05:06.000 I'm not impressed when these guys fall.
00:05:09.000 Like we should, as well as the 17-year-old who said he was scared as frick and won gold in snowboarding, as much as we clap for that, I kind of expected that.
00:05:18.000 You've been doing this for a long time.
00:05:19.000 And when someone sucks at the Olympics, I get pissed off.
00:05:22.000 Remember these Filipino divers from a long time ago?
00:05:25.000 Show that clip.
00:05:26.000 hilarious Oh, that's slow-mo.
00:05:40.000 And slap.
00:05:42.000 By the way, all their divers were that bad.
00:05:44.000 So the Olympic committee's just got to say, sorry, you don't have good enough divers.
00:05:48.000 You can't participate.
00:05:50.000 You know, we can't have participation awards.
00:05:53.000 That's what they called it in Canada, participaction.
00:05:56.000 For the Olympics.
00:05:57.000 It's supposed to go back to the beginning of time.
00:06:00.000 You're supposed to be good.
00:06:02.000 Anyway, let's talk to Fleckis about that very subject.
00:06:05.000 Fleckis, are you there?
00:06:06.000 Gavin, hello, I'm here.
00:06:08.000 Good to see you.
00:06:09.000 Are you watching the Olympics?
00:06:10.000 You watch the Winter Olympics?
00:06:12.000 Yes, I have been watching.
00:06:13.000 Have you?
00:06:14.000 Oh, yeah.
00:06:15.000 What are you thinking?
00:06:16.000 Anything exciting?
00:06:17.000 What do you like?
00:06:17.000 I think you and I are pretty unique in that both of us are going, why are you falling?
00:06:25.000 Oh, yeah.
00:06:26.000 Men's figure skating, especially.
00:06:28.000 Yeah.
00:06:29.000 Why are you falling?
00:06:30.000 We're trying to figure out who the best skater in the world is.
00:06:33.000 We can't find a guy who can stay up for a minute and a half on his skates.
00:06:37.000 Why are you falling?
00:06:38.000 Or even we have some clips.
00:06:40.000 like, let's see you do it.
00:06:41.000 Let's see you do it.
00:06:42.000 It's like, no, that's not what the point of this is.
00:06:44.000 Yeah, that's what my wife said.
00:06:46.000 She goes, no, no, these are some of the most advanced athletes in the world.
00:06:49.000 Like, we saw some snowboarder crying because he was trying to Ollie McTwist or whatever, and he bailed.
00:06:55.000 And I go, yeah, I know, but you're already the best in the world.
00:06:58.000 And you had four years.
00:07:00.000 Yeah, you had four years.
00:07:02.000 What were you doing?
00:07:03.000 And then the one lady was like, well, they're skating early in the morning.
00:07:06.000 Maybe they're not used to that.
00:07:07.000 Well, if I was going to the Olympics and they're like, oh, you're probably going to skate in the morning, I would wake up early and skate every morning.
00:07:14.000 I would change my whole sleep schedule so morning was night and that would not be an issue.
00:07:18.000 Yeah, get on to find out where they are.
00:07:20.000 Oh, they're in Korea.
00:07:22.000 Okay, I'm going to get on a Korean timeline and start working.
00:07:26.000 We just had that woman, the first ever did, oh, you got Nathan Chen over there?
00:07:32.000 Yeah, let's do this.
00:07:32.000 Mira Nagasu.
00:07:34.000 She was the first woman I thought ever to do a triple pirouette at the Olympics.
00:07:41.000 And I'm watching it going, yeah.
00:07:44.000 I figured that's what you should be doing.
00:07:46.000 You're at the goddamn Olympics.
00:07:49.000 Yeah, and you go up and spin as many times as you can before you come down.
00:07:55.000 It's super easy.
00:07:56.000 And everyone's going, oh my God, she just did a triple pirouette.
00:07:59.000 And you go, we're at the Olympics with the best people ever.
00:08:03.000 I'm not going, oh, my God.
00:08:04.000 I'm going, yeah.
00:08:06.000 Finally, someone does a triple pirouette.
00:08:08.000 What took you so long?
00:08:09.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:08:10.000 And then the guys have this new thing called the quad flip, which I guess is like a triple axle plus one.
00:08:17.000 I don't know.
00:08:18.000 But apparently, if you go for it and your skate lands first, whether you land it or not, it counts as a landed triple axle.
00:08:27.000 So all these guys are like kind of going for this new trick now, which I guess makes it more exciting.
00:08:32.000 Because figure skating was never great in the beginning.
00:08:35.000 So maybe I shouldn't be complaining because everyone's wiping out now.
00:08:38.000 It's making it a little more entertaining.
00:08:39.000 I can look up from my phone a little more often.
00:08:43.000 But how is it a new trick?
00:08:45.000 How new?
00:08:46.000 Like four years?
00:08:48.000 Yeah, I think just people have gotten so good at skating that one guy was like really trying to go for it and like really threw himself over a couple times more and it made it work.
00:08:58.000 So now that's like the new standard.
00:09:00.000 You got four years that I'm not impressed.
00:09:04.000 We're going to see the best in the world.
00:09:06.000 Like if I go to see a play and they're walking across the stage and they fall flat on their face, you go, what the hell are you doing?
00:09:13.000 How many times have you rehearsed this?
00:09:15.000 Or they just get up there and they're like, we need to be that.
00:09:19.000 Oh, God, what was it?
00:09:20.000 The other pajama people.
00:09:23.000 You'd go, how can you forget that?
00:09:24.000 I paid money to be here.
00:09:26.000 These guys have had their entire lives and they're bailing all over the place.
00:09:30.000 And there's another facet to this, too.
00:09:32.000 Like America, pathetic.
00:09:34.000 I don't mean America's pathetic, but I mean if you're at the level of an American and you wipe out, I'm not impressed.
00:09:39.000 I think that's pathetic.
00:09:40.000 But then there's this bigotry of low expectations where we have these other countries from shit hole countries and they do something terrible.
00:09:48.000 Like, remember that guy?
00:09:49.000 Have you got this one, Dave?
00:09:50.000 There was an African guy who couldn't swim.
00:09:54.000 He got too tired.
00:09:56.000 And he was having trouble fitting it to the end.
00:10:00.000 Too tired.
00:10:00.000 It's like, that's not something.
00:10:02.000 That's not an excuse to not win.
00:10:04.000 I didn't really finish.
00:10:05.000 It was a long race.
00:10:07.000 Yeah, I didn't know the pool was going to be this long.
00:10:10.000 Yeah, look at this guy just fighting the water, smashing at the water.
00:10:15.000 He was like, woo!
00:10:16.000 I needed a break.
00:10:17.000 Someone throw me a rubber dinghy.
00:10:19.000 It's the Olympics.
00:10:21.000 You have to be the best in the world or you can't come.
00:10:24.000 Yes, but we are from Ghana and no one can swim the length of the pool.
00:10:28.000 Then you're not invited.
00:10:31.000 Sorry, we have to have standards here.
00:10:34.000 I saw there was one guy from a random country.
00:10:37.000 I forget what sports it was, but he switched events.
00:10:41.000 He went from like something, you know, something random to like bobsled and he joined the bobsled team just because he's like, yeah, I can see that.
00:10:48.000 I can do it.
00:10:49.000 There's no standards.
00:10:50.000 It's only the Olympics.
00:10:51.000 It only goes back to what, the year two?
00:10:55.000 Doesn't it predate the Bible?
00:10:58.000 It does.
00:10:58.000 And then I don't know if you saw, wasn't Kim Jong-un's sister fabulous up in that booth smiling and nothing?
00:11:04.000 Oh, yeah.
00:11:04.000 My brother Miles was just talking about what a legend she was because she has high cheekbones and she gave Pence the side eye.
00:11:10.000 Yeah, the moral of the story here is if you hate Trump, I don't care how many concentration camps you have.
00:11:17.000 I don't care how many times you kill your own siblings.
00:11:22.000 I don't care how many children starve to death in your country.
00:11:26.000 As long as you hate Trump, you're with me.
00:11:28.000 Yeah, Mike Pence and his wife.
00:11:30.000 You know how he is with his wife.
00:11:32.000 He's the worst.
00:11:33.000 Always going around with her, making sure no ladies, you know, Mike Pence.
00:11:38.000 Yeah, it's almost like Pence was indicating that men are often framed for sexual misconduct.
00:11:43.000 So the safest thing to do is to always be with your wife.
00:11:46.000 It's almost as though he predicted the Me Too movement.
00:11:49.000 I was going to say, it's almost as if it was like a week before everything started going down and like he kind of knew.
00:11:56.000 Everyone made fun of him.
00:11:57.000 Everyone was like, oh, this guy.
00:11:58.000 Oh, this old man.
00:11:59.000 What a square.
00:12:00.000 Oh, square loser.
00:12:03.000 And then meanwhile, go on a lunch or a dinner with someone who isn't your wife and watch what happens most of the time.
00:12:09.000 I don't even look at, I haven't grabbed a tit in the workplace since this whole thing started.
00:12:15.000 I'm just like this.
00:12:16.000 And if they lunge their breasts at me, I make fists and go like that so they only hit the elbows.
00:12:21.000 Yeah.
00:12:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:12:22.000 No touching tits at work.
00:12:24.000 That's a new rule.
00:12:25.000 No tit grabbing at work.
00:12:27.000 Ever since the stuff started happening, you know, things have changed.
00:12:30.000 That's good.
00:12:31.000 Oh, actually, we have.
00:12:32.000 My brother is about to come on and talk about how cool this sister is.
00:12:37.000 Let's cut down now.
00:12:38.000 Flakas, we got to go.
00:12:39.000 We got to talk to my bro.
00:12:41.000 All right, Gavin.
00:12:41.000 I like you as more than a friend.
00:12:43.000 I like you more than a friend.
00:12:45.000 Thank you for the introduction, literal bro.
00:12:48.000 I'm watching the Olympics.
00:12:49.000 You know, I remember I wrote a song about this a long time ago when they were in Calgary, and I said, I don't want to go to Calgary.
00:12:57.000 I can't even stand it on TV.
00:13:00.000 Is this genuine sporting time?
00:13:02.000 Or has it become an excuse for profit and political crime?
00:13:06.000 That was a dj of the drums.
00:13:10.000 But I do like watching this because I like seeing Hitler, aka Trump, squirm.
00:13:16.000 Look at that picture.
00:13:17.000 Look at that side eye.
00:13:19.000 Pence.
00:13:20.000 Oh, yeah, that was interesting.
00:13:22.000 Remember when everyone was, oh, so worried about Otto Warm Beer?
00:13:28.000 That's his name, Warm Beer.
00:13:31.000 And he was a Jew who got too drunk, a rich Jewish kid, Jock, white privilege galore, and he got in trouble in North Korea and everyone started crying.
00:13:44.000 And then what happened?
00:13:45.000 He came back to America and died seconds after getting here because we don't have health care in this country.
00:13:52.000 And that is the distinction people always make.
00:13:54.000 They say, oh, communism is just like fascism.
00:13:57.000 No, communism is the opposite of fascism.
00:14:00.000 With fascism, people die, like this guy.
00:14:03.000 With communism, everyone gets health care.
00:14:06.000 And that is what, unfortunately for the GOP regime, we are learning from these Olympics that we are just as bad as North Korea.
00:14:17.000 Look at how, just as bad, not as good as.
00:14:21.000 Look at these cheerleaders.
00:14:22.000 Have you got the cheerleaders?
00:14:23.000 Look at that joy in their faces.
00:14:26.000 So beautiful, so clean, so parasite-free.
00:14:30.000 And they've got little fans.
00:14:32.000 I never noticed that before.
00:14:33.000 Look at the dance.
00:14:34.000 And then you look at America and the West.
00:14:36.000 Oh, I'm watching the Olympics.
00:14:38.000 I hope I win.
00:14:40.000 I hope I get a gold.
00:14:41.000 That's all they care about is gold, gold, gold.
00:14:44.000 What did North Koreans, what do communists care about?
00:14:47.000 The people being together.
00:14:51.000 And the media is reacting to this.
00:14:53.000 The media is catching on.
00:14:54.000 What does that say?
00:14:55.000 ABC News.
00:14:56.000 North Korea's 200 plus cheerleaders command the spotlight.
00:14:59.000 We see a lot of that.
00:15:00.000 Command the spotlight, steal the show.
00:15:03.000 They talk about this sister a lot and how fun she is.
00:15:06.000 I was reading articles before she even showed up about how she's inevitably going to steal the show because there was a lot of hype about her coming.
00:15:13.000 She's the new Beyonce.
00:15:14.000 Move over, bae!
00:15:16.000 We got a new gal in town!
00:15:18.000 Look at that.
00:15:20.000 Oh, Pence.
00:15:21.000 Oh, I'm so scared.
00:15:23.000 Look how unhappy they are.
00:15:25.000 I saw some pictures of them leaving the Holocaust memorial site, and they were all, oh, I'm so sad.
00:15:31.000 They look so miserable.
00:15:32.000 Their marriage must suck.
00:15:34.000 But Chris Cuomo was one of the few that was perceptive enough to notice all this.
00:15:39.000 You don't think having a president who lies about what is fake and actively maligns the free press out of convenience is a bigger reason for animosity towards us than how some decide to cover this BS?
00:15:50.000 Did you catch, you know what he's saying, right?
00:15:52.000 He's saying, yeah, we praise that sister.
00:15:54.000 We praised Kim Jung-un kicking ass and the Cheerleaders look cute.
00:15:59.000 And we have bigger problems than how something is covered.
00:16:03.000 We have Hitler in control.
00:16:06.000 It is only a matter of time.
00:16:08.000 I was going to say it's only a matter of time before they start rounding us up and putting us into concentration camps.
00:16:08.000 Wait a minute.
00:16:13.000 They're doing that right now with undocumented workers.
00:16:16.000 They're rounding them up and putting them into prisons, which are concentration camps.
00:16:21.000 Michael Moore, as per us, has this all summed up.
00:16:25.000 And I love, he has a way with words.
00:16:28.000 He's our Oscar Wilde, our generation's Oscar Wilde.
00:16:31.000 I just love the whole F-Trump opening the Olympics last night.
00:16:34.000 From all Koreans coming in together in a wonder blue flag of peace, Pen San mother, forced to sit in front of Kim's sister.
00:16:40.000 Yeah, she does look like his mother.
00:16:41.000 She's not hot at all.
00:16:42.000 Michael Moore nailed it about attractiveness.
00:16:46.000 Forced to sit in front of Kim's sister to the popular Korean singers joining together to sing John Lennon's Imagine.
00:16:51.000 Boom.
00:16:52.000 John Lennon right here.
00:16:54.000 Imagine all the people.
00:16:56.000 It's getting harder to imagine that every day.
00:16:58.000 Lest too many people start singing along at home and imagine no heaven, no possessions.
00:17:02.000 Katie Couric.
00:17:04.000 Ooh, Katie Couric's offended.
00:17:06.000 Katie Couric was quick to point out the true, there are some human rights violations.
00:17:11.000 You got to crack some eggs to make an omelet.
00:17:14.000 Spoken by a person from a nation run on mass incarceration and 30 million with no health care.
00:17:21.000 Let me explain to you what us nationals, I mean socialists, are trying to do here.
00:17:26.000 We are trying to help sick people.
00:17:29.000 The right, the fascists, the Nazis are taking away your health care because they want you to die.
00:17:35.000 What are the socialists doing?
00:17:38.000 We are enabling people to live by giving them health care.
00:17:41.000 Go to Cuba.
00:17:42.000 Yes, there's a problem with prostitution.
00:17:44.000 They're the most well-educated sex workers in the world.
00:17:47.000 Yes, there's a problem with wealth distribution.
00:17:50.000 They are some of the healthiest poor people in the world because they have free health care.
00:17:55.000 Oh, what about Venezuela?
00:17:57.000 Yeah, I want to mention something.
00:17:58.000 Every time I bring up North Korea, someone says, it's a place where there's a little kid smoking a cigarette with no pants on and a pile of garbage.
00:18:06.000 And if you take a picture of him, your host will be murdered or sent to a re-education camp, which is a concentration camp.
00:18:13.000 Yes, maybe, but why?
00:18:15.000 Why is Venezuela rioting?
00:18:17.000 Why do Cubans suffer?
00:18:19.000 Because America has embargoes.
00:18:21.000 America won't give them any money.
00:18:23.000 How are you supposed to survive if capitalism won't fund you?
00:18:28.000 If you won't, they won't throw you a bone once in a while.
00:18:31.000 America starved Venezuela, they're starving Cuba, and they've all but murdered North Korea by not helping them more.
00:18:40.000 And yes, they eat dogs.
00:18:42.000 I would have to eat dogs too if I was being oppressed by Hitler.
00:18:47.000 So I got some juicy gas.
00:18:50.000 Justin Trudeau is losing it.
00:18:52.000 Way to go, ladies.
00:18:54.000 You elected a gorgeous honk who is cool.
00:18:57.000 I'm not denying that.
00:18:58.000 He is a cool person.
00:19:00.000 I don't want to do air quotes, but as far as the parameters are cool, you should be handsome, popular.
00:19:05.000 You should know musicians.
00:19:07.000 You should box and be able to ride a skateboard and smoke pot.
00:19:10.000 Sure.
00:19:11.000 Those are the parameters.
00:19:13.000 That doesn't mean you're a good prime minister.
00:19:16.000 I wanted Ted Cruz the nerd to win.
00:19:18.000 He wouldn't let us have that, so we got you a pit bull that can take on this corrupt and deranged media.
00:19:26.000 And I'm very happy with the choice, by the way.
00:19:28.000 Thank you for forcing us to Resort to that, a stick-eyed dynamite.
00:19:33.000 But when you let women vote, they vote for big government, they vote for nice, they vote for handsome, and you end up with an incompetent, spoiled brat, a rich kid who was a drama teacher for a little while.
00:19:48.000 I think it was a supply teacher.
00:19:50.000 The guy has no qualifications, and he's never really suffered.
00:19:55.000 So now that he has to run a country, and as far as land mass goes, it's the second largest in the world, he is melting down.
00:20:03.000 Now, here's the gossip I got from an insider.
00:20:06.000 He said, the Secret Service, they don't want to get in trouble, and they don't want the guy to get hurt, so they overdo it, and they say, you need 40 RCMP with you at all times.
00:20:16.000 And you're supposed to say, yeah, no, you work for me.
00:20:19.000 I'm good with one.
00:20:20.000 Barack Obama had balls.
00:20:22.000 I'll give him that.
00:20:23.000 And he would sneak out with Michelle all the time.
00:20:25.000 You just say, no, I'm not doing that.
00:20:28.000 But Justin is so much of a pussy that he just goes, okay, I'm going to stay at home.
00:20:33.000 So he's got, and he's lazy, right?
00:20:34.000 So he's not doing his work.
00:20:36.000 So he's sitting there in, I don't know, are they in the parliament buildings?
00:20:39.000 Is that where they actually live?
00:20:41.000 He's there in the parliament buildings, we'll say, just staring at his phone, reading Twitter, getting hurt by all the mean tweets.
00:20:50.000 Yes, that's correct.
00:20:52.000 You know, when you see someone get mad at the haters and you go, dude, it's little kids.
00:20:56.000 Why do you care about Twitter?
00:20:57.000 It's like Tyler the Creator says, just turn it off.
00:21:00.000 There's no such thing as cyberbullying.
00:21:02.000 Just off.
00:21:03.000 You don't need to read all those.
00:21:05.000 But he's reading them, getting cabin fever, and his spoiled brat wife, who's also never heard the word no, she's getting sick of this.
00:21:13.000 So they're going to get divorced.
00:21:15.000 So she's recently been pictured.
00:21:19.000 Her Facebook page is gone.
00:21:21.000 What does that mean to you?
00:21:23.000 That means that they're both reading these mean messages and getting hurt by them.
00:21:28.000 You're supposed to be the leader of the free world.
00:21:30.000 You're supposed to be prepared for World War.
00:21:32.000 You know how many Canadians died in World War I?
00:21:35.000 That's why the national anthem, as Roaming Millennial points out, says, in all our sons come in, because we lost tons of sons in World War II, back when we were British.
00:21:46.000 I mean, sorry, World War I. We lost sons in World War II also.
00:21:50.000 And just so, so, so Sophie has had enough.
00:21:52.000 Sophie Grégoire Trudeau.
00:21:54.000 He couldn't even get her to take the name, even though this is the name of our most popular prime minister, Pierre Trudeau.
00:21:59.000 But look how annoying she is.
00:22:00.000 So she wrote a song for babies, her baby.
00:22:05.000 And what's it called again?
00:22:07.000 It's called Smile Back at Me.
00:22:11.000 And this song that she wrote for her baby, she thought it would be appropriate to write.
00:22:17.000 Look how ugly the people are in that background.
00:22:20.000 The government doesn't go by aesthetics.
00:22:22.000 Only the voters do.
00:22:24.000 So she wrote this song for her baby.
00:22:27.000 I did a rebel video about this, by the way.
00:22:29.000 And here she is making it about MLK because black people are like little babies, right?
00:22:33.000 They need coddling and they need you to sing them sweet lullabies because they're so weak and below you.
00:22:38.000 So here she is, MLK Day, singing a lullaby to black Americans.
00:22:47.000 That angels can fly.
00:22:51.000 Thanks for the inspiration.
00:22:52.000 Some people fight without knowing what.
00:22:59.000 Nice nostrils.
00:23:00.000 Some people live.
00:23:04.000 She is the music.
00:23:08.000 Some people live.
00:23:10.000 Oh, no, no, no.
00:23:11.000 Oh, no.
00:23:14.000 And I know that good will prevail.
00:23:17.000 Oh, my God.
00:23:18.000 Isn't that incredible that she sung that to a baby and then said, you know what I could do, why don't I do my song that I wrote for the babies?
00:23:27.000 For the blacks, because they need the inspiration.
00:23:31.000 And in the song there, I talk about how angels will have their wings, and then the black peoples, that they can think about the wings and feel less bad about the slavery.
00:23:44.000 So more proof, because I heard this rumor, a rumor, inside Scoop a few days ago, and then I just keep getting all this corroborating evidence.
00:23:52.000 Like Gerald Butts is his name.
00:23:55.000 The way you have to think of Trudeau, by the way, is Jeff Spokoli.
00:24:00.000 Cool, handsome, moron that's popular with the girls.
00:24:04.000 And he has his entourage of, do you have a picture of Gerard Butts?
00:24:08.000 This is him and Trudeau in college where, yeah, they would just, there you are, douches now, douches then.
00:24:17.000 So he was like, dude, I'm prime minister, man.
00:24:20.000 Oh my God, gnarly.
00:24:22.000 Let's get some tasty waves and a cool buzz.
00:24:27.000 And you can be my political advisor.
00:24:29.000 He hired that guy, that hippie I just showed you.
00:24:32.000 He hired him for half a million dollars a year just to be my political advisor.
00:24:36.000 And what does Gerald Butts do?
00:24:40.000 He goes on Twitter because he knows it's freaking out his buddy and he says, the lesson to take from this joke being torqued by Infowars and other alt-right Nazi friends of the Rebel is they're paying attention.
00:24:51.000 Game on, Team Trudeau.
00:24:54.000 Trying to get people on Twitter to fight back against the trolls because they're really hurting Justin Trudeau's feelings.
00:25:03.000 He is melting down.
00:25:05.000 Way to go, ladies.
00:25:07.000 You elected a weak, handsome brat who can't, he's called the Zoolander prime minister for a reason.
00:25:16.000 You elected Blue Steel.
00:25:18.000 Way to go.
00:25:20.000 All right.
00:25:21.000 More proof of this is his mommy, Margaret Trudeau, best known for fornicating with the Rolling Stones right under her husband, Pierre's dad's back.
00:25:35.000 By the way, his dad was a multicultural diversity monger who ruined the country by enforcing bilingualism and multiculturalism on everyone, coast to coast.
00:25:44.000 I kind of have a cold, and it's making my voice kind of cool.
00:25:47.000 Ben Shapiro, come over to my office.
00:25:51.000 I'm going to make out with you, give you this germ, and you're going to sound like this.
00:25:55.000 Ben Shapiro needs to smoke cigars and drink whiskey because his attitude is this.
00:26:01.000 But his voice is this.
00:26:03.000 I love Ben.
00:26:04.000 I'm not disparaging him, but that voice is something else.
00:26:06.000 Anyway, Margaret Trudeau says she dreads bullying attack ads against son.
00:26:12.000 Why does she dread them?
00:26:13.000 Because she's seen how he handles tweets and it ain't good.
00:26:17.000 Sure, he's his mom and all that, but Margaret Trudeau told CBC Radio's Ottawa Morning yesterday that, Wednesday, sorry, that she's dreading that horrible game of politics and the nasty campaign attacks she feels are bound to come liberal leader Justin Trudeau's way in this year's election.
00:26:34.000 My poor baby.
00:26:35.000 Look at him hold her little angel's face.
00:26:37.000 My poor little sweet spoiled brat who is totally unaware of what conflict is and couldn't argue his way out of a wet paper bag.
00:26:46.000 All right, final example.
00:26:47.000 I know you have this, Dave, but I think I have it on mine too.
00:26:50.000 This is just a gold.
00:26:52.000 This is from earlier on in the month.
00:26:54.000 This phenomenon's been going on for a while.
00:26:56.000 And by the way, I remember part of my inside scoop is that his mother was screaming at him.
00:27:02.000 Get your shit together, boy.
00:27:04.000 Look, when Pierre and I wanted to go out, they told us we need 40 RCMP.
00:27:09.000 You know what we said?
00:27:10.000 No.
00:27:11.000 We said, well, go out with two or three or one or none.
00:27:15.000 Stop oppressing us, you Nazis.
00:27:18.000 And she goes, you have to stand up for yourself.
00:27:20.000 You're the prime minister.
00:27:21.000 They don't make the rules you do.
00:27:23.000 They work for you.
00:27:23.000 And he's like, I know, mom.
00:27:25.000 And everyone's so mean.
00:27:26.000 Did you see that tweet I sent you?
00:27:28.000 I'm not on Twitter, Justin.
00:27:30.000 Justin.
00:27:31.000 So here he is, the incompetent Zoolander prime minister, doing his best to speak English and make a point, which is not possible for him.
00:27:40.000 I guarantee you, by the way, he's not sleeping and he's taking Xanax or anti-anxiety medicine.
00:27:47.000 I guarantee it.
00:27:52.000 Position ourselves just in the center.
00:27:55.000 Try to elevate the debate.
00:28:00.000 By the way, elevate the debate means stop insulting me because you're hurting my feelings.
00:28:05.000 And it warms the cockles of my heart to know he has probably seen the videos I've done ridiculing him, ridiculing him when he was trying to talk to Trump at the World Stupid Summit or ridiculing his wife for that song.
00:28:18.000 It warms my heart to know that I've hurt his feelings.
00:28:22.000 Thank you so much.
00:28:25.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, go back.
00:28:27.000 This is when he can't find words.
00:28:29.000 This has happened many, many times where he just blanks out.
00:28:38.000 Thank you so much.
00:28:41.000 Okay, now, watch closely here.
00:28:44.000 You know, when you are drinking, watching TV, and then you get up and you go, whoa, I'm wasted.
00:28:51.000 Same with parties, especially like at the lake.
00:28:53.000 You're sitting on a lawn chair by the lake and you're talking.
00:28:56.000 You think, I'm doing pretty good.
00:28:57.000 And then you get up to go pee and you go, whoa, I'm hammered.
00:29:02.000 Well, I think he just realized that he took it a little too hard with, got a little heavy with the anti-anxiety medicine.
00:29:12.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:29:14.000 And try to get back.
00:29:15.000 Try to get back.
00:29:16.000 And okay.
00:29:17.000 And whoa, whoa, buddy.
00:29:20.000 Alrighty then.
00:29:21.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
00:29:26.000 *clap* I hate your ass when I'm away.
00:29:30.000 I'm ready.
00:29:32.000 Amy Schumer has a new movie out called I Feel Pretty about a girl who is not morbidly obese, but fairly attractive, like a six, and hits her head so hard.
00:29:45.000 Well, I'm ruining it.
00:29:46.000 Let's watch some of the trailer.
00:29:47.000 Wondered what it's like to be undeniably pretty.
00:29:51.000 Wait, that's me.
00:29:52.000 Yes, I'm beautiful.
00:29:55.000 I love how are you shopping for a gift?
00:30:00.000 Kind of browsing for me.
00:30:01.000 So sizing is a little limited here in the store, but you could probably find your size online.
00:30:07.000 Okay, stop, stop.
00:30:10.000 And when I say stop, I just mean pause.
00:30:12.000 So that happens.
00:30:13.000 I don't know, maybe these, because sorry, I'm jumping ahead here.
00:30:18.000 There's a lot of backlash against this trailer where these unbelievably obese women are saying, what?
00:30:24.000 Amy Schumer is pretty.
00:30:26.000 She's just not a super Hollywood movie star, but she's very pretty.
00:30:30.000 Yeah, that's why I said sex.
00:30:31.000 And then you have these women that are like this going, why can't the movie be about someone like me feeling pretty?
00:30:37.000 Because you're not even close to pretty.
00:30:40.000 And if we made you, this girl who hits her head and thinks she's pretty and all of a sudden is confident, we would be condoning morbid obesity.
00:30:48.000 We would be encouraging women to get really, really fat, like gross fat, like you're dying fat.
00:30:54.000 In other words, we would be killing women, which I think is kind of sexist.
00:30:59.000 So the reason they're not, they don't have a giant fat pig feeling like she's beautiful is because they would be justifying the obesity epidemic that kills half a million people a year.
00:31:10.000 Well, okay, couldn't she just be physically, facially ugly?
00:31:13.000 Well, I mean, that's not the point.
00:31:16.000 The point is, sexes, you can feel good about yourself.
00:31:20.000 I remember seeing this show about these midgets, and one of the midgets said she wanted to be the next Britney Spears.
00:31:26.000 And you're watching it going, yeah, no, you're not going to be one of the sexiest and most popular pop stars in the history of the world.
00:31:34.000 You can be pretty much almost anything you want, but there are limits, little people.
00:31:40.000 You're not going to be the next hottest pop star.
00:31:43.000 And as far as like threes, confidence isn't going to really make you.
00:31:48.000 However, sixes, there's a message here.
00:31:50.000 And when it comes to obesity, that's a great message.
00:31:53.000 I've been screaming this for years.
00:31:54.000 Girls don't like it when they get a bit plump because they don't feel confident about themselves.
00:31:59.000 That's why sex with them is so terrible.
00:32:01.000 Because they're all like, no, don't look.
00:32:02.000 And they want to push the shirt down.
00:32:04.000 If they were like, what do you think?
00:32:05.000 I got a third tip, boss.
00:32:07.000 You'd go, yeah.
00:32:09.000 Bring it on.
00:32:09.000 Not if someone had like this, but if they have this, you go, yeah.
00:32:13.000 Do you understand what I'm saying here?
00:32:14.000 What Amy Schumer's point is, and I've had beef with her in the past for stealing jokes, but I think this is a great point.
00:32:20.000 If you're within a reasonable level, then just be proud of yourself and you can bump yourself up a notch.
00:32:27.000 The backlashes from all the people down here saying, I can bump myself Up a notch, sorry, that's not true.
00:32:32.000 And there has to be at least some truth in comedy.
00:32:35.000 All right, go ahead.
00:32:36.000 I have a crazy idea.
00:32:37.000 Let's be honest for a minute.
00:32:39.000 No matter how many times we hear, it's what's on the inside that matters.
00:32:43.000 Women know deep down, it's what's on the outside that the whole world judges.
00:32:48.000 Okay, I'm just like dealing with low self-esteem and like I want to punch you right in your dumb face right now.
00:32:55.000 Do you have every rib that I have?
00:32:57.000 I've been on all of these sites.
00:32:59.000 No one even looks at the profile.
00:33:00.000 They only care about the picture.
00:33:02.000 And I'm sick of it.
00:33:04.000 I've always wondered what it feels like to be just undeniably pretty.
00:33:08.000 Oh!
00:33:11.000 Oh!
00:33:15.000 Are you hit your head pretty hard?
00:33:20.000 Wait, they repeated part of the trailer in the trailer.
00:33:23.000 Did you see this?
00:33:24.000 Yes?
00:33:26.000 Beautiful!
00:33:32.000 Now, can you just pause it again?
00:33:34.000 I think the women of the world should know that we go for sevens as sixes, but sixes are our bread and butter.
00:33:42.000 And if a six was super fun and really confident and couldn't believe how hot she was, she would be a lot more fun than an insecure seven or an eight.
00:33:51.000 And if you saw your how your buddies judge you when you're with a girl, that's relevant.
00:33:56.000 But if your buddies saw you with a super fun girl and you guys were always partying and you just came back from Disneyland and you're still wearing the ears on your baseball hat, they'd go, they're having fun.
00:34:06.000 In a way, I'm jealous of him.
00:34:08.000 So this movie's point is a great point.
00:34:10.000 Keep going.
00:34:13.000 Who's that sexy thing I see over there?
00:34:16.000 I know you don't recognize me.
00:34:18.000 That's me.
00:34:18.000 You guys, it's me.
00:34:22.000 What's happening?
00:34:23.000 Oh, full spin.
00:34:25.000 Who can I get you?
00:34:26.000 Yeah, told.
00:34:30.000 Number 118.
00:34:31.000 What's your number?
00:34:32.000 That's really clever.
00:34:34.000 That's clever.
00:34:35.000 What's your number?
00:34:36.000 Give me your phone.
00:34:37.000 I'm going to give you my number.
00:34:38.000 Are you still talking to me?
00:34:39.000 Chicken out now, son.
00:34:41.000 If I was you, this would be quite a large promotion for you.
00:34:44.000 What are your goals exactly?
00:34:45.000 I get it.
00:34:46.000 And yes, modeling is an option for me.
00:34:49.000 It's not who I am.
00:34:51.000 Wow.
00:34:53.000 Funny for me.
00:34:54.000 You just have all the confidence in the world.
00:34:56.000 I think a lot of people completely miss a thing that really makes them awesome.
00:35:00.000 And you're not like that.
00:35:03.000 For game contests.
00:35:05.000 DJ, hit it.
00:35:07.000 So.
00:35:13.000 We'll be right back.
00:35:15.000 That's awesome.
00:35:17.000 Is that it?
00:35:19.000 These trailers are long.
00:35:20.000 I feel like we're watching the movie.
00:35:22.000 Haven't we just seen the movie now?
00:35:23.000 Yeah, I was going to say it gives away the movie, doesn't it?
00:35:25.000 I've seen the whole movie.
00:35:27.000 That was a good movie.
00:35:28.000 I'm just going to start reviewing trailers from now on because you've seen the entire film.
00:35:32.000 Let's just watch the end, see if there's more.
00:35:34.000 *music*
00:35:40.000 Who would you rather have sex with in that crowd of me than the one laughing your head off?
00:35:46.000 I don't know if you know what sneak peek means.
00:35:49.000 You're completely naked.
00:35:54.000 Yes, please.
00:35:55.000 So let's just dive into the backlash for a second here.
00:35:58.000 Because it makes me think that even when feminists get offered a good point, they can't take it because women are stupid, basically.
00:36:07.000 Parker Elizabeth is a remarkably obese, sad young girl that I'm about to make fun of, which is horrible.
00:36:14.000 But sorry, you drew first blood by getting out there.
00:36:18.000 And she goes, is this movie really just making jokes about a fatter woman actually loving herself?
00:36:24.000 Like that's the funniest concept in the world?
00:36:26.000 Yikes.
00:36:28.000 Yes, it is.
00:36:29.000 Now, have a look at Parker Elizabeth.
00:36:32.000 She's thinking she should be in it.
00:36:34.000 Why don't you do a movie about me enjoying myself?
00:36:38.000 Because you're dying.
00:36:39.000 You know, we're fathers.
00:36:41.000 We don't like, there's another picture of her in her feet if you can find one.
00:36:44.000 We don't like the idea of our daughters feeling okay with being morbidly obese.
00:36:49.000 That's not good for your health.
00:36:53.000 We're at a stage now in society where doctors are accused of sexism when they tell you math.
00:37:00.000 Ladies, doctors can't be sexist.
00:37:02.000 They're autistic.
00:37:04.000 They have no emotions.
00:37:05.000 They slice people open and they don't dry heave.
00:37:08.000 They are robots.
00:37:10.000 They're on the spectrum.
00:37:11.000 They're not there to go, hey, you know what?
00:37:13.000 You are so fat.
00:37:14.000 They're like the opposite of fags.
00:37:18.000 They don't gossip and giggle.
00:37:20.000 You ever try to riff with a doctor?
00:37:22.000 They just go, I do not understand why you are doing humor at this time, sir.
00:37:25.000 And you go, forget it.
00:37:26.000 That guy doesn't sit there and crap on fat girls because they're not hot.
00:37:31.000 There's just another woman, Sophie Hagen.
00:37:34.000 She's from Denmark, and she does a comedy about how she's a fat pig.
00:37:39.000 Let's hear her talk.
00:37:42.000 Was that one of your people, a British man, he flirted with me.
00:37:48.000 Thank you.
00:37:49.000 Thank you.
00:37:51.000 And in the process of him flirting with me, I learned a whole new word because he came up to me and said, hello.
00:38:00.000 I am a bit of a chubby chaser.
00:38:06.000 That's a word.
00:38:08.000 Okay, that's enough.
00:38:09.000 Look how hard it is to go to comedy clubs these days.
00:38:13.000 Like, these people can't laugh.
00:38:14.000 A fat person is making a chubby chaser joke, and they all go, oh, that's terrible.
00:38:19.000 Comedy is no time for sympathy.
00:38:21.000 Anyway, she is a well-trained Westerner and knows all the vernacular, even though English is not her mother tongue.
00:38:28.000 But she had a whole series of tweets about this movie, and she goes, I'm done.
00:38:31.000 I'm out.
00:38:32.000 Come back to me when you're ready to fight against the oppression of women instead of contributing to it.
00:38:37.000 Do you know what that means?
00:38:38.000 That means that this movie contributes to the oppression of women because she's not fat enough.
00:38:43.000 No, I'm not exaggerating.
00:38:45.000 This woman that you just saw, Chubby Chaser, is mad that this woman was made to feel pretty.
00:38:51.000 She should have been way fatter.
00:38:52.000 She should have been this fat.
00:38:54.000 We can't make her that fat.
00:38:55.000 It's not funny anymore.
00:38:56.000 It's sad.
00:38:58.000 I do not want to live in a world where Amy Schumer is considered ugly.
00:39:03.000 Go F yourself, Hollywood.
00:39:07.000 The movie's trying to say the opposite of that.
00:39:09.000 Come on, work with me here, gigantic feminists.
00:39:12.000 Please try to.
00:39:13.000 I know you have nothing but estrogen and fried chicken in your blood, but could you try to have a semblance of logic, please?
00:39:20.000 Amy Schumer has taken women who are not dying, not dangerously obese, and said, hey, lighten up a little bit.
00:39:28.000 And you, dying woman, are saying, f ⁇ her!
00:39:31.000 She's a c ⁇ .
00:39:35.000 You know, at the end of every show, we like to have a viral video.
00:39:39.000 But I did a recent podcast talking about the existence of God, and I said, the idea of the long white beard and the robe, that's just man trying to imagine what God would look like, trying to anthropomorphize the Lord.
00:39:55.000 That was until I had seen this.
00:39:57.000 Apparently, there is footage of God.
00:40:01.000 And I have it for you here.
00:40:03.000 I hope he's not mad about this.
00:40:09.000 That was six beers at once, I think.
00:40:12.000 oh my god Something about a snorkel?
00:40:22.000 Please send one!
00:40:28.000 Look at that.
00:40:28.000 The guy has to hold his breath.
00:40:32.000 If he doesn't drink it, the guy will die.
00:41:01.000 This must be allergies.
00:41:03.000 I didn't know there's cats in the studio, but apparently someone let in their felines because my felines are raging.