Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - Get Off My Lawn #86 | Hold Their Fire

00:00:44.000 Hey guys, that's day two here, Tuesday.

00:00:47.000 We got the second installment of your musical education.

00:00:51.000 You've been listening to all this homophobic crap, and now you can finally hear what real music is like.

00:00:56.000 This is a British band that is queer positive, pro-trans, pro-homo-awareness, pro-queer, pro-2-spirit, pro-polyamorous.

00:01:08.000 They're from London and Glasgow.

00:01:10.000 And you can tell by the music that they have a lot going on upstairs, unlike my brother and his exceptionally racist, bigoted, stupid show.

00:01:21.000 Oh, my iPhone's ringing.

00:01:22.000 Hold on a sec.

00:01:23.000 Hello?

00:01:26.000 Hi, I'm doing a show.

00:01:27.000 What's up?

00:01:31.000 Okay, bye.

00:01:36.000 That was my partner.

00:01:39.000 And I'm not going to say girlfriend or boyfriend because it doesn't matter because sometimes it's a girlfriend, sometimes it's a boyfriend, sometimes it's in between, as shopping are.

00:01:48.000 By the way, can you deny, like, let's up on our homophobes?

00:01:52.000 And then when you finally allow queer people to make music and you allow them into the form, you hear what they can do.

00:01:58.000 I heard you say we're learning.

00:02:01.000 I wanna listen.

00:02:03.000 Turn your head.

00:02:04.000 I heard you say.

00:02:09.000 Isn't that awesome?

00:02:10.000 Sounds like Funboy 3 or something.

00:02:13.000 Anyway, today's idiotic show, I can't believe he does this every single day.

00:02:17.000 This is getting...

00:02:23.000 And it wasn't that hard, but they did have to get up kind of early.

00:02:27.000 Day two of filling in, working every single day of the week.

00:02:32.000 You know, I support the workers, and I enjoy Billy Bragg's album, Workers' Playtime.

00:02:37.000 I should have made that the intro.

00:02:38.000 Maybe we'll make that the outro.

00:02:40.000 But I don't think you have to work every single day as a worker.

00:02:43.000 You need time to replenish yourself.

00:02:45.000 You have to recharge your batteries.

00:02:47.000 We're all essentially electric cars in that sense.

00:02:50.000 We need our solar power.

00:02:51.000 We need to go out in the parks and just take in life and watch movies and enjoy various vegan snacks.

00:02:59.000 Working this hard is not healthy for you.

00:03:02.000 That's why.

00:03:02.000 And capitalism is generating too much money in many ways.

00:03:07.000 We're making too much.

00:03:09.000 Anyway, today, Gavin tries to mock an incredibly intellectual comedy video where they show a Trump supporter trying tacos for the first time.

00:03:21.000 And, you know, Gavin doesn't seem to understand it, but for all the talk they do about how much they hate Mexicans and how much they hate diversity and how much they hate multiculturalism, they would hate to give up all the restaurants.

00:03:30.000 And that's what's so great about multiculturalism.

00:03:32.000 You can have Somalian one day, all vegan.

00:03:35.000 You can have Mexican one day, all vegan.

00:03:36.000 You can have vegan pizza.

00:03:38.000 You can have all these different cultures serving you food.

00:03:42.000 And then he's going to make fun of emotional support animals because he doesn't understand that, because he eats animals and doesn't understand that they have value in human life.

00:03:51.000 So that's going to be petty and ridiculous.

00:03:53.000 And then he's going to show a cop bullying a girl whom he will refer to as a spoiled brat.

00:03:59.000 And he'll pretend that she deserves whatever this cop is doing here in the police state.

00:04:05.000 And finally, it'll just come back to me.

00:04:08.000 And I'm going to find Workers' Playtime in the interim and play it for you because it's a really good pro-Mau record. 0.70

00:04:19.000 Okay, I don't think I get jokes anymore.

00:04:21.000 A joke has to have a semblance of a point.

00:04:24.000 And this video is called, This Trump Supporter is About to Learn About Tacos for the First Time.

00:04:30.000 Now, as a new right dude, I say, the idea that we've never heard of tacos is ridiculous.

00:04:39.000 So if you think that, you're dumb.

00:04:41.000 So that makes this video a mockery of the left.

00:04:45.000 But I don't think that's what they're going for.

00:04:47.000 What they're going for is these dummies, they probably don't even realize that Mexicans make tacos and Mexico brought us tacos. 1.00

00:04:54.000 And if they ever tried a taco, then they would freak out.

00:04:59.000 How could you not know that we've tried tacos?

00:05:02.000 Anyway, let's start it.

00:05:04.000 What are your issues with Mexico and Mexican culture?

00:05:07.000 If we're not careful, America is going to completely turn into Mexico. 1.00

00:05:11.000 I want to give you something to try here.

00:05:13.000 Clause it here.

00:05:14.000 Clause it.

00:05:15.000 That has happened in California.

00:05:17.000 There are entire sections that are basically indistinguishable from nice parts of Mexico.

00:05:23.000 There's entire sanctuary cities where they speak Spanish in the town halls.

00:05:29.000 You have tons of people in California who are unilingual Spanish.

00:05:34.000 So no, we don't think all of America's going to turn into Mexico.

00:05:38.000 I'm not sure what you're mocking there, but Mexification is definitely a problem in the Southwest. 1.00

00:05:44.000 I don't get that joke.

00:05:46.000 And no Trump supporter has ever said that all of America is going to become Mexico.

00:05:50.000 We'll lose everyone, and there'll just be one Mexican state. 1.00

00:05:53.000 That's not the issue.

00:05:53.000 The issue is there's too many illegals.

00:05:56.000 Just because you say there's too many is something, doesn't mean you're indicating that they're going to take over the entire country.

00:06:03.000 Obviously.

00:06:04.000 And that's the crux of me choosing this video.

00:06:07.000 Obviously.

00:06:09.000 It's my new favorite word, actually.

00:06:10.000 Like if the kids are loading the dishwasher and they're putting it up facing the jets and I go, the plates have to be down facing the jets.

00:06:18.000 Obviously.

00:06:20.000 I didn't take a night course in dishwashers and I didn't take a night course in logic.

00:06:25.000 All right, go ahead.

00:06:26.000 Here, you want to try this?

00:06:29.000 What is this?

00:06:30.000 It's a taco.

00:06:31.000 What did you call this?

00:06:31.000 A taco?

00:06:32.000 Taco.

00:06:33.000 I have no idea what this is.

00:06:34.000 What's that around the sides of it?

00:06:35.000 That's a tacilla.

00:06:36.000 A tortellini?

00:06:37.000 Stop! 1.00

00:06:39.000 Now, this guy's got good comic timing, by the way.

00:06:43.000 You can just tell funny people.

00:06:44.000 He's clearly a funny person.

00:06:46.000 I used to bond with those kind of guys until they all became dogmatic liberals and now we don't get along.

00:06:51.000 But I hate tacos.

00:06:54.000 I think they're a stupid food.

00:06:56.000 The cheeseburger is the greatest invention ever made.

00:07:00.000 And it's so American because you've got the juiciness, you've got the meat, you've got your carbs with the bread, you've got your tomato, your lettuce, your onion in there, you've got all your food groups.

00:07:10.000 And it's a very to-go food.

00:07:12.000 You just like bite into it, you're running around, you're over here.

00:07:15.000 You don't have to sit down like the French with your five course meals. 0.99

00:07:19.000 And tacos are like a crappy hamburger.

00:07:22.000 You took one of the buns, you flattened it, and you folded it.

00:07:25.000 And now, look how awkward it is to hold.

00:07:28.000 You've got to sort of like, any food where you have to poise your body, you don't have to do that to eat a hot dog.

00:07:34.000 Oh, my hot dog's spilling everywhere.

00:07:37.000 A taco, you have to eat twice.

00:07:39.000 Once you eat it, and all the stuff falls on the plate, then the second you eat the stuff off the plate.

00:07:43.000 That is a sign of an inefficient food, but it's all you got with Mexico. 0.99

00:07:48.000 And again, this really is all they got.

00:07:51.000 Oh yeah, well, we enrich with the culture.

00:07:54.000 Vincente Fox was asked by New York Times Magazine, I've already mentioned this on the show, what's the greatest contribution from Mexico in the past 50 years?

00:08:01.000 And he said, the taco.

00:08:03.000 Stop putting all your eggs in a taco basket because a taco is not impressive.

00:08:09.000 It's okay lunch cuisine that's hard to eat.

00:08:13.000 All right, go ahead.

00:08:15.000 What's that green guacamole?

00:08:18.000 Whac-a-mole?

00:08:19.000 Guacamole.

00:08:19.000 Okay, I'm going to need you to start speaking.

00:08:21.000 Okay, pause.

00:08:23.000 This is where the joke goes awry.

00:08:26.000 So he's never heard of guacamole and he calls it whack-a-mole?

00:08:29.000 You're doing a parody of how the left sees Trump supporters.

00:08:33.000 Trump supporters know what guacamole is.

00:08:37.000 So when you make a guy this absurd, you're saying the leftist view of MAGA is absurd.

00:08:44.000 Therefore, this is a conservative joke.

00:08:48.000 Greg Guttfeld says that all the time about Portlandia.

00:08:51.000 He goes, it lampoons liberals so well.

00:08:53.000 It's conservative comedy.

00:08:55.000 All right, go ahead.

00:08:56.000 And tell me what you think.

00:09:00.000 Look how hard it is to eat.

00:09:02.000 That meat is really, really juicy.

00:09:04.000 That's a Mexican food.

00:09:06.000 What?

00:09:06.000 No, no, no, no.

00:09:08.000 There's no way something this delicious could be invented by a Mexican. 1.00

00:09:10.000 This is the best food I've ever tasted in my whole life.

00:09:12.000 Can you just unbox it here?

00:09:14.000 I don't think the taco is Mexican per se.

00:09:18.000 I've been to Mexico many times.

00:09:20.000 You don't really see tacos off the tourist beaten track.

00:09:24.000 Like if you go to some CD bar, I went to a bar once in Mexico where you piss at the bar. 1.00

00:09:28.000 There's a trough there.

00:09:29.000 Women don't go in. 1.00

00:09:31.000 The real Mexico, real Mexican food, they don't really have tacos.

00:09:35.000 It's like China. 0.97

00:09:36.000 You go to China and they don't have like chicken balls and stuff and Captain, what's his name, chicken fried rice, whatever you call that stuff.

00:09:44.000 They don't really have that in China.

00:09:45.000 I think tacos are what's made in the amalgam of Mexican immigrants and America.

00:09:51.000 In other words, we made your food delicious.

00:09:54.000 You're welcome for that.

00:09:57.000 Go ahead.

00:09:58.000 Made these?

00:09:58.000 That is Mexican food.

00:10:00.000 Why do we treat them so poorly then?

00:10:01.000 How can I get more of this?

00:10:02.000 You could go to the taco truck down the street.

00:10:04.000 You can get something this delicious out of a Mexican truck?

00:10:07.000 I thought maybe I'd get this out of a five-star restaurant like Applebee's.

00:10:10.000 Have you ever heard of Taco Bell?

00:10:12.000 Yeah.

00:10:13.000 I thought that they were just a bunch of Mexican churches.

00:10:15.000 Mexican culture is more than just their cuisine.

00:10:17.000 Oh, really?

00:10:17.000 Stop, stop.

00:10:19.000 All right, so this is another part where this thing falls apart.

00:10:21.000 So again, he's never heard, he thought Taco Bell were churches.

00:10:25.000 Again, it's a parody on how the left sees Trump supporters.

00:10:29.000 But they put all their eggs in the taco basket, but then they also go, it's their art and their, let's see examples of this wonderful Mexican culture.

00:10:38.000 And again, you have to counteract the lowering the wages, what the increase in population does to the environment.

00:10:45.000 All the greenies can't like that. 1.00

00:10:47.000 You look at the population in America, and it's all immigrants. 0.98

00:10:50.000 The locals haven't really increased their population.

00:10:53.000 They're having one to two kids.

00:10:55.000 It's the Mexicans that are responsible for the increase in American population. 1.00

00:10:59.000 If you're a true environmentalist, you should be concerned about overpopulation.

00:11:03.000 Crime is obviously a factor.

00:11:05.000 We keep hearing about these illegals with drunk driving, especially in sanctuary cities. 1.00

00:11:09.000 Obviously, MS-13, as Donald Trump put it, they're not sending their best.

00:11:13.000 So we have, and John Lott did some studies on this in Arizona about the abnormally high percentage of Hispanics and especially illegals that are responsible for crime. 1.00

00:11:23.000 Go look at LA's most wanted list, the FBI.

00:11:28.000 Go look at any southwestern, actually go look at any most wanted list.

00:11:32.000 And you are going to see a shocking amount of Hispanics. 1.00

00:11:36.000 They are contributing a disproportionate number of crime.

00:11:39.000 What about sanctuary cities?

00:11:41.000 They have less crime than Detroit and Chicago and Baltimore.

00:11:45.000 Yeah, but for whatever reason, those cities are all black. 0.99

00:11:49.000 And black and crime tend to have a correlation. 0.96

00:11:52.000 I believe it's welfare shattering the family, but there's a million reasons for that.

00:11:56.000 That's a whole other vid.

00:11:57.000 All right, go back to this.

00:11:59.000 Can I get another taco?

00:12:00.000 I'm going to quit my job and just need tacos.

00:12:02.000 Why hasn't Fox News done a piece on these?

00:12:04.000 Fox News wants you to believe Mexicans are bad.

00:12:06.000 What?

00:12:07.000 I guess I got to stop watching Fox News though.

00:12:08.000 Just pause it there.

00:12:10.000 Fox News wants you to think that Mexicans are bad.

00:12:12.000 That's why they haven't done a piece on tacos.

00:12:15.000 How is that not a parody of the left?

00:12:19.000 Like, if you're making fun of someone, shouldn't there be a semblance of truth?

00:12:23.000 There's not a semblance of truth here.

00:12:25.000 Mega men have heard of tacos.

00:12:29.000 And they're not going to stop watching Fox News because Fox News doesn't glorify the taco.

00:12:36.000 I mean, I'm overanalyzing comedy, but it just shows how bad the left is.

00:12:40.000 I think the problem is leftist comedy is communism now because they bought comedy, right?

00:12:45.000 Comedy Central, you can't be right-wing and work at Comedy Central.

00:12:48.000 You can't be right-wing and be on TV these days.

00:12:50.000 You can barely tweet or be on Facebook if you're remotely right-wing.

00:12:55.000 In fact, they call us all far-right if we're just remotely right.

00:12:59.000 So after buying comedy, it's sort of like Mugabe in Zimbabwe.

00:13:03.000 He owns the whole country.

00:13:05.000 Might as well just let it die and eat 400-year-old turtles and give my kids Ferraris and Rolexes. 1.00

00:13:11.000 That's comedy in America today.

00:13:12.000 This is the Mugabe of jokes.

00:13:15.000 All right, go ahead.

00:13:18.000 Oh my God.

00:13:21.000 Can I have another taco, please?

00:13:22.000 Donald Trump building the border wall is literally ripping a delicious taco out of my son's mouth.

00:13:27.000 No, we'll still have tacos.

00:13:29.000 There's no reason to hate Mexican people.

00:13:32.000 I'm not racist anymore.

00:13:33.000 What did you call it?

00:13:34.000 A taco.

00:13:35.000 Taco.

00:13:36.000 Taquito.

00:13:37.000 No taco.

00:13:38.000 Oh, just a taco.

00:13:39.000 Good.

00:13:39.000 Last chance.

00:13:42.000 you you You know what a great argument against the free market is?

00:13:47.000 Communists, you want to use this one?

00:13:49.000 It's called flying.

00:13:51.000 It's gotten cheaper and cheaper and worse and worse.

00:13:55.000 It's a nightmare.

00:13:56.000 When I go to DC to talk to CRTV, flying, it takes an hour and a half.

00:14:01.000 The train is four hours.

00:14:03.000 I take the train.

00:14:04.000 It's better.

00:14:06.000 It's the same price in total if you get them in advance.

00:14:09.000 And I like to go business class.

00:14:12.000 So it's like 400 bucks both ways.

00:14:15.000 I'd way rather take the train than fly.

00:14:17.000 I was on a flight recently from LA, and in first class, there were some dunce.

00:14:22.000 He looked like a really wealthy hairdresser, gay dude, probably. 0.97

00:14:25.000 He had two wiener dogs.

00:14:27.000 Two wiener dogs.

00:14:29.000 So he was sitting in his seat and then at his feet, and it's first class.

00:14:32.000 He had a lot of room.

00:14:33.000 He's got his two wiener dogs, and the second wiener dog leaned a bit into the woman next to him.

00:14:37.000 So I'm sitting to the left of them.

00:14:40.000 And the stewardess goes, do you have a problem with the dog being a little bit on your side there?

00:14:45.000 And she goes, yeah, I'm allergic to dogs.

00:14:47.000 I can't have him here.

00:14:49.000 And he gets all pissy.

00:14:52.000 Sorry, dude.

00:14:53.000 You don't deserve your wiener dogs.

00:14:54.000 It's a support animal.

00:14:56.000 No, it's not.

00:14:57.000 Support animal is a seeing eye dog for the blind where they'll fall downstairs and die if they don't have the dog. 0.52

00:15:05.000 Your companion animal?

00:15:07.000 It's just an animal you like.

00:15:09.000 You're happy around it?

00:15:11.000 Yeah, I know.

00:15:11.000 That's why people have pets.

00:15:13.000 It doesn't mean you're going to die if you don't have it.

00:15:15.000 No, you may not have this.

00:15:17.000 So he picked up his two wiener dogs, glared at that stupid bitch for being allergic to them. 1.00

00:15:22.000 And he probably goes, she's probably lying.

00:15:24.000 All right, so she's lying.

00:15:26.000 Sorry, you didn't get Every single flight.

00:15:31.000 It's just normal now.

00:15:32.000 Dogs, someone's got a bag and you see him sort of through the mesh staring at you, farting, whining.

00:15:39.000 So she takes, he has to go to coach.

00:15:42.000 They've got one seat in coach.

00:15:43.000 And then he has to have one wiener dog stuffed down by your feet there, like where you'd put your briefcase.

00:15:48.000 And then the other wiener dog is on his lap.

00:15:50.000 And he rotated him throughout the flight.

00:15:53.000 And she's just like, ah, two first-class seats because a gay stylist was selfish. 1.00

00:16:00.000 But I looked this up after I landed, and it is everywhere.

00:16:03.000 Did you know you can have a support, a miniature pony?

00:16:07.000 Can you imagine how much feces comes out of that thing's ass? 1.00

00:16:13.000 And you just have to sit there going, oh, it's bad enough.

00:16:16.000 Go to passengershaming.com, Dave.

00:16:18.000 It's bad enough.

00:16:19.000 We have people sticking their toes.

00:16:22.000 Well, don't show us while you go there.

00:16:25.000 Sticking their toes.

00:16:27.000 What would you do if you saw toes sticking out in between your seats?

00:16:30.000 I haven't seen it, I don't think ever.

00:16:32.000 But I would order a hot coffee and then go, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

00:16:35.000 Oh my God, I'm sorry.

00:16:37.000 I'm so sorry.

00:16:38.000 And you wouldn't get in trouble, right?

00:16:39.000 You didn't mast it in their face.

00:16:41.000 Or that other thing where women do where they put their hair over the seat and it's in your face. 1.00

00:16:46.000 This is why you can't bring scissors on a flight.

00:16:48.000 I would just maybe put jam in it or something.

00:16:52.000 One trick I do, I did a video for this for vans about where I put my feet up so they can't lean back.

00:16:58.000 If you lean back and it's not on an international flight where you're sleeping and the person behind you isn't leaned back, you're a sh ⁇ person and I don't want you to be my friend. 1.00

00:17:06.000 So if anyone actually don't subscribe to this show, if you're the kind of person who leans back, I'm like the guy saying Trump supporters don't watch my show.

00:17:14.000 If you lean back on your chair, don't watch my show.

00:17:17.000 I don't want you in my life.

00:17:18.000 You can only lean back if a kid is behind you or the person is leaning back already behind you or the seat is empty.

00:17:25.000 Otherwise, just don't go, I'm on my laptop trying to get work done and you crunch my tray into my stomach.

00:17:33.000 You suck.

00:17:34.000 Anyway, passenger shaming is a great place to see this.

00:17:36.000 But there was another woman. 1.00

00:17:38.000 This is old news now, but I have to include it if we're talking about this.

00:17:41.000 Bullshit companion lie.

00:17:43.000 And by the way, passengers, you are some of the worst people ever.

00:17:47.000 All these millennials sleeping at the gate, wearing their PJs, bringing stuffed animals, putting your toes everywhere, putting your feet straight up like that so your feet are in the air so I have to look at your feet, leaving crap everywhere. 1.00

00:17:59.000 Passenger shaming is shocking.

00:18:01.000 And all, and we're the bad guys, just because we're alcoholics who want to get drunk on a plane.

00:18:05.000 Screw you.

00:18:07.000 But anyway, this woman demanded she bring her companion, Peacock. 1.00

00:18:14.000 A peacock?

00:18:16.000 How the hell?

00:18:17.000 That's a giant bird.

00:18:18.000 Where does the tail go?

00:18:20.000 There's an general understanding, at least with that idiot with the dogs, he didn't take up more than his little allotted space.

00:18:27.000 But like with fat guys, you're taking up a lot of space.

00:18:30.000 I had this one.

00:18:32.000 My way to fly, if I don't fly business or first, I am stuck with coach.

00:18:36.000 I just get blind drunk, so I sleep the whole way.

00:18:38.000 And it's the best thing ever.

00:18:39.000 You have like four makers, and then you sit down in your chair, and they go, sir, we are.

00:18:45.000 And then the next thing you know, you're being rattled, sir, we're in New York.

00:18:48.000 Oh, I thought it was 3,000 miles away.

00:18:52.000 We were in the air for what, one second?

00:18:54.000 No, it was six hours, sir.

00:18:55.000 You were snoring and making everyone uncomfortable.

00:18:59.000 Thanks.

00:18:59.000 That's my companion.

00:19:01.000 That's my companion pet.

00:19:02.000 Booze.

00:19:04.000 One time I was on a plane and I sat next to this big fat pig and he had a normal head.

00:19:11.000 And that's a different kind of fat pig. 1.00

00:19:12.000 That's someone who's overindulged themselves.

00:19:14.000 I know all fat people have overindulged themselves.

00:19:16.000 But even when they have a fat neck and everything, you go, you were fat when you were a kid.

00:19:20.000 This guy was normal up until a few years ago.

00:19:22.000 And he just went normal, normal, normal, pajah. 0.63

00:19:26.000 And I was looking at him just thinking, you God, You love your self-indulgence.

00:19:32.000 Do you masturbate three times a day, too?

00:19:34.000 And then I was drunk and I fell asleep right on him, like right on him.

00:19:40.000 And I was using him as a giant pillow.

00:19:42.000 I woke up next to a Chinese gentleman.

00:19:47.000 And I said, What are you doing here?

00:19:49.000 What happened?

00:19:50.000 And he goes, Oh, I was asked to switch places.

00:19:53.000 And so I switched place because he don't want to be here.

00:19:56.000 A big man, no one to be here.

00:19:58.000 Why would you do that?

00:20:00.000 Excuse me, everyone.

00:20:01.000 Someone has a drunk guy next to him who keeps falling asleep on him and sees him as a giant pillow.

00:20:05.000 Anyone want to replace him?

00:20:08.000 I don't.

00:20:10.000 Like, why would you do that?

00:20:12.000 Did he get points?

00:20:13.000 Did my snores buy him air miles?

00:20:16.000 So the last case we'll do, and I wish there's something we could say to these people like, I don't like you.

00:20:23.000 F ⁇ you, was a young girl, and young girls are the worst at flying. 1.00

00:20:29.000 It's just a giant sleepover to them.

00:20:32.000 They wear slippers, they have their PJs on.

00:20:36.000 They sleep everywhere.

00:20:37.000 They bring stuffed animals, adults with stuffed animals.

00:20:39.000 And you think, back before the free market ruined this, back before capitalism killed us, you had steel cutlery and suits on.

00:20:49.000 Everyone was in first class back in the 60s.

00:20:52.000 Lady would have a nice hat on and you'd have your suit. 1.00

00:20:55.000 Good day.

00:20:55.000 Let's go to Los Angeles.

00:20:57.000 Mmm, ribeye steak, cooked on the plane, delicious.

00:21:00.000 I think I'll have a cigarette in a bourbon now.

00:21:02.000 Can you imagine how awesome that must have been?

00:21:05.000 You would need a private jet today to get a taste of what it was like to fly up until 1972.

00:21:12.000 I remember as a kid, we'd go to Scotland a lot.

00:21:14.000 When I was like six years old, so this would be 76, I'd go into the cockpit.

00:21:18.000 Hello, I'd like to meet the pilot, please.

00:21:20.000 No problem, kid.

00:21:21.000 I had a little book where they would sign and say the thing, and I had a little flight pin because we'd go back and forth to Scotland so much.

00:21:27.000 I had a little collected pilot's autographs.

00:21:30.000 They'd show me the buttons, and this one would kill us all if I flicked this.

00:21:33.000 And here, you can hold on to this thing.

00:21:34.000 No, I never touched the controls, but still, thanks a lot, Arabs.

00:21:40.000 Anyway, this girl, she brings a hamster on, and the stewardess says, sorry, no hamsters. 0.98

00:21:46.000 You can't have it as a companion pet.

00:21:47.000 It's a rodent.

00:21:47.000 It could get free.

00:21:49.000 How the f is a hamster necessary for your survival?

00:21:55.000 Could we have strayed farther from a seeing-eye dog, please?

00:21:59.000 Anyway, the best part is this stewardess browbeats this girl until she just flushes Tim, I assume that's his name, down the toilet. 1.00

00:22:10.000 And so Spirit Airlines feels bad because everyone's outraged because we're all a bunch of spoiled brats who don't find it funny when you flush a hamster down the toilet, even though they're basically just Mexican rats. 1.00

00:22:22.000 They bought her a new hamster, a new support.

00:22:26.000 Is it called a support rodent?

00:22:27.000 It's a replacement rodent, and it was a support rodent.

00:22:32.000 What in the Sam hell is going on?

00:22:34.000 This is what happened when we eradicated bullying and said you can't be mean to anyone.

00:22:39.000 I'm the only mean guy left in America.

00:22:42.000 Are you happy now?

00:22:43.000 Are you happy with your ponies and your support rodents?

00:22:46.000 No, you're not.

00:22:47.000 Okay, well, guess what?

00:22:48.000 You can't have me back.

00:22:50.000 I'm not going to be mean to these people because I'm going to punish you for outlawing bullying and jerks.

00:22:56.000 propositions.

00:23:01.000 As a father, you have a lot of concerns with your children.

00:23:05.000 You want them to respect authority.

00:23:08.000 You want them to be independent.

00:23:09.000 You don't want them to get bullied.

00:23:11.000 You want them to be able to pursue their dreams and be unfettered.

00:23:14.000 But we spoil our kids.

00:23:16.000 We are helicopter parents.

00:23:18.000 We don't let them get bullied.

00:23:19.000 We tell them to tell a teacher.

00:23:20.000 We also, many of us, especially the libs, tell us that cops are pigs and we should fry them up in a blanket and we don't revere the police.

00:23:30.000 By the way, folks, if you're listening here and you have bad parents, when cops approach you and they act corrupt and they act evil and they act like jerks, just seethe.

00:23:45.000 You hear me?

00:23:46.000 Just seethe.

00:23:48.000 You're not going to win.

00:23:50.000 You're not going to escape.

00:23:51.000 You're not going to beat him up.

00:23:52.000 You're not going to browbeat him.

00:23:54.000 You're not going to get out of the ticket by intimidating him and telling him some Citizens Rights Act bullshit.

00:24:02.000 The best you can do is document everything up here and file a report later on.

00:24:07.000 The cop is going to win.

00:24:09.000 That's his job.

00:24:10.000 That's what we hired him to do.

00:24:11.000 We said, here's a badge, here's a gun.

00:24:13.000 Always win.

00:24:16.000 But in the age of spoiled brats, we have plenty of children who don't understand this.

00:24:22.000 Let's roll one of the worst examples ever.

00:24:25.000 Chloe, what's her name? 0.99

00:24:28.000 Hey, Chloe. 0.89

00:24:30.000 Hey, keep your hands where I can see him, all right?

00:24:32.000 Hey, nah, nah, nah, nah.

00:24:33.000 Don't be moving your hands where I can't see him and shit. 0.90

00:24:35.000 Here's the deal.

00:24:36.000 My name's Patrick.

00:24:37.000 I'm with Bail Bonds.

00:24:40.000 The Bail Bonds company that bailed you out.

00:24:43.000 What you've done is you haven't made any of your payments.

00:24:45.000 Your father is not here to meet you.

00:24:47.000 You put your butt, your fuck. 0.99

00:24:48.000 Where's my dad?

00:24:49.000 He's not coming because he contacted us because you haven't made any of your bond payments.

00:24:55.000 You haven't made a single payment.

00:24:57.000 Your dad's not going to bail you out.

00:24:58.000 So tonight, you're coming with me.

00:25:00.000 And that's the end of it.

00:25:02.000 And that's the end of it.

00:25:03.000 Step out of your car for me.

00:25:04.000 No, I did.

00:25:05.000 Just pause.

00:25:05.000 Okay, you can step out of the car the easy.

00:25:07.000 Just pause.

00:25:08.000 No, I'm not doing that.

00:25:10.000 It reminds me of my buddy Chad.

00:25:12.000 When he was being born, his mom found it too painful.

00:25:16.000 And she said, stop, stop.

00:25:18.000 I can't do this.

00:25:19.000 We're not doing this.

00:25:20.000 I'm sorry.

00:25:20.000 Maybe we'll come back.

00:25:21.000 I'm not sure what you do, but I'm out.

00:25:24.000 Like a lady, he can't quit. 1.00

00:25:26.000 The baby's coming out of you.

00:25:27.000 I'm sorry.

00:25:28.000 That's the way it works.

00:25:30.000 A lot of women who have been spoiled, a lot of daddy's girls just have, and you can tell by their chubby arms that she's just been eating Hagandas whenever she wants. 1.00

00:25:38.000 This is the biggest problem, I think, with kids today, and I think it comes from illegals, not being familiar with the word no. 1.00

00:25:44.000 This is what's so great about sports.

00:25:46.000 Kids learn to lose.

00:25:48.000 They learn that some things just suck.

00:25:50.000 It sucks, but you're going to jail, my dear, because you have totally trivialized the fact that you got out on bail.

00:25:57.000 To get out on bail means you don't have to go to jail.

00:26:00.000 You should be thanking your lucky stars, praying to Lord Jesus Messiah.

00:26:06.000 Yes, thank you.

00:26:07.000 Thank you.

00:26:08.000 I don't have to be in jail.

00:26:09.000 Not just going, man, I'm going to drive around, maybe get some more ice cream, and tell a cop no.

00:26:14.000 Let's see how this goes down.

00:26:16.000 Easy way of the hard way.

00:26:17.000 You can call your dad in a second.

00:26:19.000 I'll let you call your dad when you get to my car.

00:26:21.000 You can do this easy way of the hard way.

00:26:22.000 Let me see your hand.

00:26:24.000 Stop making your hands disappear.

00:26:26.000 You want to do this the easy way or the hard way?

00:26:29.000 Stop making your hands disappear.

00:26:30.000 Let me see your hands.

00:26:32.000 Let's go, Diddy.

00:26:32.000 You can see she's got a moment.

00:26:33.000 Okay, that's fine.

00:26:35.000 We'll do this this way.

00:26:36.000 It's not hurting you.

00:26:37.000 Don't give me this fucking owl bullshit because I'm not going to buy it.

00:26:40.000 Step out of the car.

00:26:41.000 Everything you're doing is being recorded right here.

00:26:43.000 Do you understand?

00:26:44.000 Come over here.

00:26:45.000 What did I do?

00:26:46.000 Stand right here.

00:26:47.000 You didn't make your bond payments.

00:26:48.000 I've explained that to you four times.

00:26:50.000 Take this hand, put it on top of your head.

00:26:52.000 Don't move it.

00:26:53.000 Be okay.

00:26:53.000 You didn't.

00:26:56.000 You didn't.

00:26:56.000 That's just a fair.

00:26:57.000 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 1.00

00:26:59.000 Stop.

00:27:00.000 Stop.

00:27:01.000 It's not hurting you.

00:27:02.000 It's not hurting you.

00:27:03.000 You're fine.

00:27:04.000 I don't have a cat at home.

00:27:06.000 Okay.

00:27:06.000 I don't give a shit about your cat right now.

00:27:08.000 Okay, well, maybe you should make your bond payments, and then you have to worry about your cat.

00:27:13.000 No.

00:27:14.000 No.

00:27:15.000 Four months ago?

00:27:16.000 I didn't know you have to.

00:27:17.000 Bond payments.

00:27:18.000 Stop.

00:27:19.000 Stop.

00:27:19.000 It doesn't hurt in the water works again.

00:27:21.000 You know, stop.

00:27:23.000 Stop.

00:27:25.000 God, can you imagine?

00:27:26.000 Can you just pause it for a sec?

00:27:28.000 Can you imagine how exhausting it must be to be a cop?

00:27:31.000 I know he's not a cop, but any kind of enforcement agent like that, you must just have to deal with lies all day.

00:27:38.000 You're a professional lie listener.

00:27:40.000 No, I was, no, he was, No, what happened?

00:27:46.000 He owed me money and I was going to get money.

00:27:49.000 And then he works nights, so I had to come when he's off work at 3 in the morning.

00:27:55.000 And I'm in this neighborhood because my car was locked at a friend's house because my keys fell into my socks.

00:28:05.000 What?

00:28:07.000 No, that part was a joke.

00:28:09.000 I was scared.

00:28:10.000 They always say that on cops.

00:28:11.000 I was running because I was scared, yo.

00:28:13.000 Yeah, you were scared because you were committing a crime.

00:28:16.000 But yeah, the crying thing, you must just, after all, feel nothing.

00:28:20.000 In fact, the only thing you're worried about is, is this going to mess with my pension?

00:28:23.000 Can this video be played against me?

00:28:25.000 Am I going to lose in court?

00:28:26.000 But I don't think bail enforcement agents have much of a pension.

00:28:30.000 I don't know.

00:28:31.000 I actually didn't know what a bail enforcement agent was.

00:28:34.000 Isn't it just Dog the Bounty Hunter and then the actual police?

00:28:37.000 I didn't know there was another group in between those two.

00:28:40.000 All right, go ahead.

00:28:41.000 Your dad's not coming.

00:28:43.000 I just explained that to you.

00:28:44.000 You can call him as soon as you get back to my car.

00:28:46.000 He's not very happy with you.

00:28:47.000 Stop.

00:28:49.000 How old are you?

00:28:51.000 I'm not telling you.

00:28:52.000 How old are you?

00:28:53.000 I know how old you are.

00:28:54.000 You're my lawyer.

00:28:55.000 Okay, you want your lawyer, your dad.

00:28:57.000 You want to cry?

00:28:58.000 The only thing you're going to do right now is move your ass on over to my car. 1.00

00:29:03.000 Okay, Chloe, stand up. 1.00

00:29:05.000 Stop.

00:29:06.000 Oh, my God.

00:29:06.000 What a brat.

00:29:08.000 Okay, I'll force you.

00:29:09.000 Call Joseph Washington to be able to get away from this.

00:29:10.000 I'll force you to get this.

00:29:11.000 This is the daycare formation.

00:29:13.000 You want me to leave your car unlocked here?

00:29:15.000 With the window rolled down?

00:29:16.000 So why don't you start acting like an adult so we can button this up? 0.98

00:29:20.000 Make sense?

00:29:20.000 Okay.

00:29:21.000 Where your car keys at?

00:29:23.000 In the ignition.

00:29:25.000 In the ignition?

00:29:27.000 I won't move.

00:29:29.000 Okay, well, I'm going to hold on to you.

00:29:30.000 That'll be funny if she moves. 1.00

00:29:31.000 I don't care.

00:29:31.000 It doesn't work.

00:29:32.000 She can get a finger in bolt those cuffs. 1.00

00:29:34.000 There's no problem with these cuffs.

00:29:35.000 She runs at one mile an hour. 1.00

00:29:38.000 You could let her run away. 0.97

00:29:40.000 Check your email.

00:29:42.000 Call a friend.

00:29:43.000 Have a cigarette and then take your stuff.

00:29:45.000 Your dad's not here.

00:29:46.000 Stop.

00:29:49.000 Oh, my God.

00:29:50.000 This is exactly like being fucking ridiculous.

00:29:53.000 You know what's going on?

00:29:55.000 prefer to have you right there I've never seen it.

00:30:06.000 I can all the time in the world, sweetheart.

00:30:08.000 You can act like this all you want.

00:30:10.000 All it's going to do is delay the inevitable.

00:30:13.000 Okay, it's not going to change your going to jail.

00:30:16.000 We can take care of your cats.

00:30:17.000 We can have your dad go over there.

00:30:18.000 We can have somebody go over there.

00:30:20.000 Okay, okay.

00:30:21.000 You just got to make sure that they're fed.

00:30:24.000 Okay, I'm not making sure anything.

00:30:25.000 I'm making sure you go to jail.

00:30:26.000 I'm not meant to go to jail.

00:30:28.000 I'm not meant to go to jail.

00:30:30.000 Don't commit crime.

00:30:31.000 Wasn't there a rich kid who got away with that once?

00:30:33.000 There was a trial where the defense said he's too fragile to go to jail.

00:30:39.000 Yeah, I think they went on the land.

00:30:42.000 And that was his defense.

00:30:43.000 And I think it worked.

00:30:46.000 That's why when you're in court, you don't want to look stupid.

00:30:48.000 Stop.

00:30:49.000 Just be like this in the star.

00:30:50.000 I need water.

00:30:51.000 You don't need anything.

00:30:52.000 I need water.

00:30:52.000 You need to shut up.

00:30:53.000 Okay.

00:30:55.000 By the way, you notice I always have my hands up.

00:30:57.000 There's no reason for you to be acting like this right now.

00:30:59.000 She's ready to block. 0.98

00:31:00.000 You're acting like a two-year-old.

00:31:02.000 No.

00:31:02.000 Stand up.

00:31:03.000 Five.

00:31:04.000 Stand up.

00:31:04.000 Two-year-olds are sort of disoriented.

00:31:06.000 They're just like this.

00:31:07.000 They just look at it.

00:31:08.000 Do you have anything on you that I need to know about?

00:31:10.000 No.

00:31:11.000 You understand?

00:31:11.000 You take anything down to the jail with you becomes contraband, you can catch an additional charge for that, right?

00:31:15.000 Okay.

00:31:16.000 Okay, once again, anything else on you?

00:31:17.000 No.

00:31:18.000 Okay, I'm not going to search you because I don't want a female officer to search you, but they will search you comprehensively when they get down to the jail. 1.00

00:31:24.000 You understand that?

00:31:25.000 Yeah.

00:31:25.000 Okay, once again, anything else on you?

00:31:27.000 No.

00:31:27.000 Don't make it worse for yourself.

00:31:28.000 Okay, no.

00:31:29.000 What about the vehicle?

00:31:31.000 No.

00:31:32.000 No weed or nothing?

00:31:33.000 No.

00:31:34.000 Okay, nothing we need to lock up?

00:31:35.000 No.

00:31:36.000 Okay.

00:31:38.000 I need my cat.

00:31:41.000 I've made payments.

00:31:43.000 Stop.

00:31:44.000 If you made your payments, we wouldn't be here.

00:31:47.000 None of my kids talk like that.

00:31:53.000 I feel so sorry for this guy that he has to do with this.

00:31:57.000 Can you just pick up what you're in the back of your thing, by the way?

00:31:59.000 What's taking so long?

00:32:05.000 Walk.

00:32:07.000 I can do this all fucking day.

00:32:10.000 Okay, it's fine.

00:32:11.000 Let me sit right there.

00:32:13.000 When you decide you want to act like an adult, we can continue on to jail.

00:32:16.000 Until then, you can waste all your own time all you want.

00:32:18.000 I'm paid to be here either way.

00:32:20.000 This is exactly like a five-year-old.

00:32:22.000 I want my cat.

00:32:23.000 That's fine.

00:32:25.000 Dude, pick her up. 1.00

00:32:26.000 Your dad's not coming.

00:32:27.000 We just told you that.

00:32:27.000 Put your hands under there.

00:32:34.000 Kayla, do me a favor.

00:32:35.000 Let's take her car with us so we don't have to worry about these guys while we're searching through it.

00:32:41.000 Stand right here.

00:32:43.000 I'm not gonna let go of you.

00:32:47.000 Stop.

00:32:48.000 No, stop.

00:32:51.000 Why are you acting like this?

00:32:52.000 This is what you always act like.

00:32:53.000 I'm a good person.

00:32:55.000 You always act like a whiny little shit.

00:32:59.000 It doesn't want me to go away because I don't want to go away.

00:33:02.000 It wants you to go in.

00:33:03.000 It doesn't want me to go in.

00:33:05.000 The car isn't unlocking because it doesn't unlock.

00:33:07.000 I don't think your boyfriend tells me that you're not going to be able to put the light on for you.

00:33:10.000 I love you more.

00:33:11.000 No, I love you more.

00:33:13.000 That's a grown woman, right? 0.99

00:33:14.000 Finally.

00:33:16.000 That's a grown woman here. 1.00

00:33:18.000 Take it and follow me.

00:33:19.000 We'll search her car and get her together somewhere else.

00:33:22.000 The moral of the story here is you need to pay attention to your children.

00:33:27.000 I don't know how that girl got like that. 1.00

00:33:29.000 It must have taken a long time, a lot of years of whining.

00:33:34.000 You've allowed her to be on her screen.

00:33:36.000 You've been watching your screen, your TV, your daycares.

00:33:40.000 Pay attention to your kids or they will remain babies.

00:33:44.000 Great Leap Forwards.

00:33:51.000 One leap forwards, two leaps back.

00:33:55.000 Buy yourself a biking cycle all the way there and back waiting.

00:33:58.000 Great Leap Forwards.

00:34:01.000 Rightly forwards In a perfect world, we'd all sing in tune.

00:34:06.000 But this is a bike.

00:34:09.000 Early in the morning, leapfrogs.

00:34:17.000 Change your bike to yourself.

00:34:18.000 No one's gonna nick you.

00:34:20.000 Waiting for the great leapforwards.

00:34:25.000 Well, it's a mighty long way down rock and roll, but it's down on the way.

00:34:29.000 So you can coast if you've got a bike.

00:34:30.000 Track for the traffic.

00:34:31.000 Oh, it's doing a bike shop.

00:34:33.000 Leap forwards.

00:34:36.000 People like young women should keep quiet. 1.00

00:34:39.000 I just say free pussy riots. 1.00

00:34:42.000 Waiting for the great leap forwards.

00:34:47.000 Do you guys see the excitement you're missing out on?

00:34:49.000 The revolution's just a drop handlebar racing bike away I have to say this stuff.

00:34:56.000 I'm sorry.

00:34:56.000 It's all part of the deal.

00:34:58.000 Making fun of Captain.

00:35:00.000 You're waiting for the great leap forward.

00:35:07.000 Thanks very much.

00:35:08.000 Having a great time here this morning with you at the bike shop.

00:35:12.000 I sing for the Lovelore.

00:35:14.000 I sing for the radical.

00:35:16.000 I sing for the Saddle Saw.

00:35:19.000 Come see me.

00:35:20.000 Thanks, everybody out there on KEXP.

00:35:22.000 I'll see you.

00:35:24.000 Brilliant, as per us.

00:35:26.000 That album is Workers Playtime, Billy Bragg, where it's an ode to Mao and not the 70 million eggs he had to break to make an omelette, but the incredible progress they made over in China during the revolution and during all socialist revolutions.

00:35:41.000 You know, in Cuba, they talk about the downside all the time.

00:35:45.000 Or Venezuela, they freak out about someone had to line up for food.

00:35:50.000 Bernie Sanders pointed this out really clearly once.

00:35:52.000 He said, yeah, sure, they talk about having to line up for food, but that's better than having no food.

00:35:58.000 You know, a lot of these countries in capitalism, there'll be one guy with all the food, and no one else will get food.

00:36:03.000 Like Mary Antoinette, there had to be a revolution before the people were allowed to have cakes. 0.95

00:36:08.000 Before that, she had all the cakes to herself.

00:36:11.000 And eventually they broke down the door.

00:36:12.000 She said, fine, let them have some.

00:36:14.000 You know, that's what socialism is about.

00:36:16.000 It's about revolution.

00:36:18.000 That's what Billy Bragg is about.

00:36:19.000 And that's ultimately what Mao and my main man Shay was.

00:36:23.000 I almost used the N-word there against my will.

00:36:27.000 This has been day two of a lot of work, to be quite frank.

00:36:32.000 Getting all these together, putting the songs underneath.

00:36:35.000 I'm not doing it.

00:36:36.000 He does by himself.

00:36:37.000 He does these cards where he writes the thing and he gets some pictures from getting images.

00:36:42.000 I'm not doing that.

00:36:43.000 That takes like another hour.

00:36:45.000 How many hours?

00:36:46.000 This whole idea of capitalism with 40 hours a week, you know how many hours slaves worked?

00:36:51.000 Probably a similar amount.

00:36:52.000 So in many ways, capitalism in America is like slavery, but without the whipping and the rapes.

00:36:58.000 And I'm not saying that it's the same as that.

00:37:00.000 Whipping and rapes are way worse, but you're still kind of a slave if you're a capitalist.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 21, 2018

Get Off My Lawn #86 | Hold Their Fire

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Summary

Transcript