Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 04, 2019


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #101 | I hate "hate has no home here" signs

Topics
Rolexes
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Trump Hitler Puerto Ricans Charlottesville Churchill Pulse Manon Massé Proud Boy Magazine Richard Spencer Alan Dershowitz Jerry Sandusky Devin Voshart Jesus Christ Jimmy Kimmel Paul Town Klansmen Ben-Hur Stalin Klan Christopher Mateus and 40 more
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #100 | There are sixteen celebrities on this show Get Off My Lawn Podcast #102 | Why is everyone at the ski hill wearing a goddamn helmet?

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 3 minutes

Words per minute

171.03

Word count

10,909

Sentence count

1,275

Harmful content

Misogyny

48

sentences flagged

Toxicity

531

sentences flagged

Hate speech

89

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of Thick & Thin, the boys talk about hate, tattoos, and the Orlando nightclub massacre. Also, we talk about how racist the media is and why they don t give a fuck about anything other than their own biases and their own prejudices. Also, it's a good thing we don't talk about the Orlando shooting or the West Side Highway, because that would have been a whole lot worse. Enjoy the episode and don't forget to SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts or wherever else you get your stuff! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies, and do not represent those of any other companies or organizations. All rights reserved. Used by permission. This episode was produced and edited by Riley Bray. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. All credit goes to original artists and music used on this episode, unless otherwise stated. Thank you for any amount you choose to pay for the use of music and production. If you enjoyed the music, please leave us a review and/or review in the comments section below. It helps us to support our efforts to make this podcast a better and more accessible to more people listening to this podcast. Please be kind and spread the word to your friends and family about the podcast. Thank you and support us in any way you can do so. Love & support us. XOXOXO. - Thank you. xoxo -Davids -Alyssa -R.J. -A.S. -P.A. -S.R. -J.M. -C. -D.V. -K. -M.P. -LJ.B. -E. -BJ. & J.J., C.S -PJ.E. & A.SJ. & K.M., EJ.C. & D. . -PZ. -G. -F.A., S.S., M.AJ.H. -T. -V.A -SZN. - A.A.. -B.R., P.M.. & P.B., R.S, S.J..A. & C.E., D.J, C.W. -YVY, J.W., E.A.?

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I hate hate has no home here signs.
00:00:04.000 There's so much I can say about these signs that I don't even know where to begin.
00:00:09.000 Let's just start with the literal translation. 0.97
00:00:13.000 What the fuck does that mean? 0.99
00:00:15.000 Hate has no home here. 1.00
00:00:16.000 There's no hate in your house.
00:00:18.000 First of all, it's not true.
00:00:20.000 There is.
00:00:21.000 You hate Trump. 0.77
00:00:23.000 You hate Republicans. 0.99
00:00:24.000 You hate conservatives. 0.98
00:00:26.000 You hate anyone who likes Trump. 0.96
00:00:27.000 So your house is full of hate.
00:00:30.000 It's bursting with hate.
00:00:33.000 But secondly, as far as what you're supposed to interpret from that, I guess it means like, I don't have like the Klan in my home.
00:00:42.000 I don't have racism in my house.
00:00:44.000 Yeah, that's redundant.
00:00:48.000 Especially in the suburbs.
00:00:49.000 Like, you're saying when you have kids around, because everyone in the suburbs has kids in their home, right?
00:00:55.000 So when you have kids around, you're not walking around the house yelling the N-word and playing like Johnny Rebel and Screwdriver.
00:01:02.000 But by the way, I'd like to take a side note.
00:01:05.000 I cannot believe there are several articles out there that claim I have a Screwdriver tattoo.
00:01:09.000 Screwdriver are a Nazi band, right?
00:01:13.000 I have tons of tattoos.
00:01:15.000 All of them are embarrassing.
00:01:17.000 Without exception, really.
00:01:19.000 I have a woman's symbol on my arm with an E on it for equality.
00:01:25.000 That's the worst one.
00:01:26.000 I also have a skull that's made from a bone from a woman who was killed in a sati fire.
00:01:34.000 So it's like another feminist. 1.00
00:01:35.000 I have several feminist tattoos. 1.00
00:01:37.000 I have the word tofu on my arm.
00:01:38.000 I was like a peace punk.
00:01:41.000 I was an anarchist.
00:01:42.000 I'm still an anarchist, really.
00:01:43.000 But one of them says, arm your desires in Urdu.
00:01:47.000 That's the...
00:01:49.000 Indian, East Indian language, Urdu, Hindu language.
00:01:53.000 It says, Army of Desires.
00:01:54.000 And then it has a gun and these hands, blue hands, right?
00:01:59.000 Like the Hindu God, holding lightning bolts. 1.00
00:02:01.000 And then it says power in Chinese. 1.00
00:02:03.000 I know it sounds fucking gay. 0.99
00:02:04.000 And I, I was 18. 0.99
00:02:05.000 I was pretty intense.
00:02:09.000 I have a, I have my entire back has a jellyfish with a skull on it eating Chunkai Shek and Fidel Castro. 1.00
00:02:17.000 With destruction, creative destruction written above it in Chinese. 0.99
00:02:21.000 Yes. 1.00
00:02:22.000 Stupid. 1.00
00:02:23.000 Gotcha. 1.00
00:02:24.000 I was singing in punk bands and assumed that would be my life.
00:02:27.000 I didn't know I'd be at a water park with my three kids looking like a circus freak. 0.97
00:02:34.000 But anyway, these nuts, these weirdo beta male journalists are obsessed with proving I'm racist. 0.98
00:02:40.000 Like, obsessed. 1.00
00:02:41.000 They could care less about Islam. 0.99
00:02:44.000 They're not interested in the Pulse shooting or the West Side Highway.
00:02:47.000 Everyone goes, what about Charlottesville?
00:02:48.000 Yes, terrible.
00:02:49.000 What about the West Side Highway?
00:02:50.000 No one ever says, what about the West Side Highway?
00:02:52.000 No one knows the names of those victims.
00:02:54.000 I was just on Proud Boy Magazine reading a great article.
00:02:57.000 I don't know who's writing for that, but he's talented.
00:03:00.000 Or she.
00:03:01.000 No, it has to be he.
00:03:02.000 And they're listing the names of the people who died.
00:03:05.000 I think it was about eight people who died on the West Side Highway.
00:03:09.000 No one ever talks about them.
00:03:10.000 Heather Heyer, that's a terrible catastrophe, obviously.
00:03:14.000 But it's not indicative of a pattern.
00:03:16.000 Jihad is indicative of a pattern. 0.99
00:03:19.000 We got dead bodies.
00:03:20.000 We got what?
00:03:21.000 How many people died in the Pulse shooting?
00:03:22.000 Like 89?
00:03:23.000 We got 89 dead bodies in Orlando.
00:03:28.000 But the Miami Times is obsessed with
00:03:31.000 My hand, oh yeah, so the white power tattoo they're saying is, I have these blue hands holding a lightning bolt.
00:03:36.000 Apparently, there was a newsletter in the 80s that had a hand holding a lightning bolt.
00:03:43.000 Hands holding lightning bolts are all over the place.
00:03:45.000 It's like Zeus.
00:03:46.000 He used to throw lightning bolts down.
00:03:48.000 It tends to just mean, like, mighty or something.
00:03:54.000 Anyway, to get back to, hey, there's no home here.
00:04:00.000 Why don't you have a sign on your lawn that says rape has no home here? 1.00
00:04:08.000 It's equally absurd, is it not?
00:04:11.000 What's that you got pulled up?
00:04:12.000 Me wearing a screwdriver shirt?
00:04:14.000 Yeah, but also that tattoo.
00:04:17.000 And it says that that's...
00:04:18.000 Oh, that's that stalker, Devin Voshart.
00:04:21.000 Like these guys, Christopher Mateus, Devin Voshart, Will Sommer, Jared Holt, Vic Berger.
00:04:27.000 These guys are stalking me.
00:04:29.000 They're going through every sock in my dirty laundry trying to find a swastika.
00:04:36.000 It's downright bizarre. 0.99
00:04:37.000 And you think, okay, I understand you probably are autistic or you're a beta male who wants to make up for your lack of testosterone. 0.97
00:04:45.000 Can you not direct that to Islam? 0.99
00:04:48.000 Or what about, what about, um, uh, black racists? 0.55
00:04:53.000 Why does no one ever talk about that? 0.54
00:04:55.000 Like the Black Liberation Army, I think they're called.
00:04:58.000 What about gangs that, you know, when they flash, like the hand symbol means like a lot to them.
00:05:01.000 When you do that okay sign, that triggers them incredibly, but there'll be gang signs, like in music videos that are on MTV that you could just.
00:05:10.000 Yeah.
00:05:11.000 You know how many blacks are murdered a day? 0.99
00:05:13.000 By gangs? 0.99
00:05:14.000 About 20. 1.00
00:05:16.000 About 20 black men are murdered every fucking day. 1.00
00:05:21.000 Why doesn't anyone care about that statistic? 1.00
00:05:23.000 Or why doesn't anyone talk about prison?
00:05:27.000 And the fact that we have all of these fatherless children going through this prison industrial complex.
00:05:36.000 In a way, it's a form of, as this article said on Proud Boy Magazine, it's a form of white supremacy because you hold whites to a higher standard and you kind of ignore problems with blacks. 0.91
00:05:47.000 You ignore black murder because it's uncomfortable to you. 0.87
00:05:52.000 It's kind of racist at the end of the day. 0.99
00:05:55.000 These virtue signalers, these social justice warriors are racist.
00:05:59.000 Feels like they're saying, they don't know any better.
00:06:01.000 Exactly.
00:06:02.000 Let them get away with it.
00:06:02.000 Exactly.
00:06:03.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:06:03.000 Like blacks, blacks, I mean, they're, they're just going to kill each other, whatever. 1.00
00:06:06.000 You can't do anything about that. 1.00
00:06:07.000 But white people, now they're superior. 0.98
00:06:10.000 So they should be, they should be held to a higher standard. 0.61
00:06:15.000 I don't like that.
00:06:17.000 I think one of the problems might be I'm Canadian and, uh, we, I'm from Quebec and
00:06:23.000 There, the debate is all language.
00:06:26.000 French versus English.
00:06:27.000 French versus English.
00:06:28.000 You go to a bar, it's the language laws.
00:06:30.000 All the separatism.
00:06:31.000 It's all anyone talks about.
00:06:33.000 Race never comes up. 0.99
00:06:34.000 So, in fact, we have rules in bars where we go, can we not talk about fucking language, please? 0.98
00:06:40.000 I'm sick of talking about French versus English and separatism. 0.97
00:06:44.000 By the way, a little side note.
00:06:45.000 You need to Google Masson Massé.
00:06:48.000 He is the head of the Quebec 0.99
00:06:52.000 M-A-S-S-E. 1.00
00:06:54.000 He's the head of the... Oh, wait a minute.
00:06:56.000 Is it E-Y? 0.96
00:06:57.000 Yeah.
00:06:58.000 No?
00:07:00.000 Sorry.
00:07:01.000 E-Y. 0.54
00:07:03.000 No, no. 1.00
00:07:04.000 It's a dude with huge tits. 1.00
00:07:07.000 What? 1.00
00:07:08.000 Yeah.
00:07:09.000 Manon.
00:07:10.000 Maybe it's Manon.
00:07:11.000 Manon Massé.
00:07:12.000 Manon Massé.
00:07:13.000 Yeah, here we go.
00:07:15.000 Yeah, here he is.
00:07:16.000 M-A-N-O-N-M-A-S-S-E. 1.00
00:07:18.000 Oh yeah, this guy.
00:07:19.000 You gotta look him up.
00:07:20.000 I'm sorry to do this on an audio podcast.
00:07:22.000 It's not visual.
00:07:23.000 He is long, beautiful, white hair. 0.99
00:07:27.000 Fantastic gigantic tits and a tiny little white mustache. 1.00
00:07:34.000 You think Canadian politics is absurd? 1.00
00:07:36.000 You ain't seen nothing till you check out Quebec. 0.99
00:07:39.000 It is peak clown world. 0.98
00:07:41.000 Oh my god. 0.94
00:07:43.000 He has a little thing.
00:07:44.000 You know when you're 14 you grow your first mustache?
00:07:47.000 That's his, but white. 0.82
00:07:48.000 And then just huge double D's. 1.00
00:07:52.000 I don't even know what he fucks. 1.00
00:07:54.000 I don't know if he has a girlfriend or a boyfriend or how he fucks or if he has a penis or what is going on with that guy. 1.00
00:08:01.000 His gender, there's a new gender just for him it's called Paula Deen. 1.00
00:08:06.000 Paula Deen grew a dick. 1.00
00:08:09.000 I'm confused by all these sort of weird genders because 1.00
00:08:14.000 Say you're gay, right? 0.79
00:08:15.000 I'm a gay. 0.96
00:08:16.000 I'm attracted to gorgeous hunks with pecs and stuff.
00:08:19.000 Actually, you know what I was thinking the other day?
00:08:21.000 If I was a woman, I don't think I'd be attracted to male models.
00:08:25.000 Because, hear me out.
00:08:30.000 Like, as a straight male, I'm not just, I'm not attracted, like, Ariana Grande, sure, she's pretty, whatever.
00:08:36.000 She looks like a child.
00:08:37.000 She looks like my daughter.
00:08:38.000 I'm attracted to, and maybe it's because I'm 48, a little bit of filth. 1.00
00:08:43.000 Like a zit on an ass, some, a lot of guys are very specific about nipples. 1.00
00:08:48.000 I like shitty nipples, like big areolas. 1.00
00:08:51.000 Like you were talking the other day about how some chick had gross areolas. 1.00
00:08:55.000 I like gross areolas. 1.00
00:08:56.000 I want sagging dugs. 0.97
00:09:00.000 I want a gunt. 1.00
00:09:02.000 Like, you know, they say smelling a woman's ass is a poor man's viagra. 1.00
00:09:06.000 I'm like a fucking pig, right? 1.00
00:09:08.000 And I want, if I was to get divorced, I would marry a woman similar to my age. 1.00
00:09:12.000 Like, I want laugh lines and wrinkles.
00:09:16.000 Leah Romini is a great example.
00:09:18.000 Although I think she's had some surgery recently that looks confusing.
00:09:21.000 But anyway. 0.87
00:09:23.000 Um, so I think if I was a chick, I would be kind of into like a gross dude. 0.98
00:09:28.000 Not like the fat guy from Borat. 0.94
00:09:32.000 You know him?
00:09:32.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:33.000 But like a guy who was kind of fat and had a mustache and maybe was even balding. 1.00
00:09:39.000 Like, cause I'd want to be violated by a pig. 1.00
00:09:42.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:09:44.000 Cause you're not attracted, like you don't want perfect pecs and like a Brad Pitt guy.
00:09:48.000 Cause that's almost like a woman. 0.99
00:09:50.000 Yeah.
00:09:51.000 And you're not attracted to female characteristics.
00:09:53.000 So you don't want like smooth skin. 0.58
00:09:55.000 Like if I was, if I was, uh, if I was a chick, I wouldn't want a shaved chest. 0.99
00:10:00.000 I want a man. 0.78
00:10:01.000 I want a hairy chest. 1.00
00:10:02.000 I want, I want to be violated by a brute. 0.99
00:10:05.000 I would imagine. 0.99
00:10:07.000 I would imagine.
00:10:09.000 Like this guy. 0.99
00:10:09.000 Hypothetically. 0.99
00:10:11.000 No, that guy's ugly. 0.98
00:10:12.000 And don't bring up pictures when we're on an audio podcast. 0.93
00:10:18.000 Let me summarize it. 0.99
00:10:19.000 I think I would rather be fucked by Tony Soprano than Brad Pitt. 1.00
00:10:23.000 Yeah, he's just laying there, he's sweaty. 1.00
00:10:26.000 He could climb up to my chest. 1.00
00:10:27.000 Yeah, he fucks me in the strip club. 1.00
00:10:30.000 Oh yeah, absolutely. 1.00
00:10:31.000 And Badda Bing.
00:10:33.000 I wouldn't body after that.
00:10:34.000 They're just probably, you know, they're probably easier to get along with too.
00:10:39.000 Yeah.
00:10:39.000 I don't know.
00:10:40.000 I mean, men, the male mystique, like God made this very clear when he made the scrotum. 0.61
00:10:45.000 He said, I officially don't want you guys to be attractive. 0.99
00:10:49.000 Now you look at tits. 1.00
00:10:51.000 That's the period on that. 0.99
00:10:52.000 Look at boobies. 1.00
00:10:53.000 Even the worst boobies are pretty good. 0.99
00:10:56.000 Um, and then you look at a scrotum. 0.99
00:10:57.000 There's no such thing as a nice scrotum. 0.86
00:11:00.000 So God has already laid out this plan. 0.90
00:11:02.000 I'm just pursuing God's plan.
00:11:05.000 God's plan.
00:11:06.000 God's plan.
00:11:07.000 God's plan.
00:11:08.000 Anyway, I don't know how we got there.
00:11:11.000 But the hate has no home here.
00:11:12.000 Let's talk about what it really means.
00:11:14.000 It really means, it's actually quite symbolic of where we are as a country.
00:11:19.000 What it really means is white supremacy is on the rise and it's been emboldened by Trump.
00:11:26.000 This is their trope.
00:11:28.000 Uh, hate has no home here means that I recognize a growing pattern of hate in this country.
00:11:34.000 Racism, anti-semitism, bigotry, anti-trans, homophobia is growing here and it's because of Trump. 0.99
00:11:43.000 And I think a lot of them cite these FBI stats that it's up something like 15%, but that stat is fucked. 0.99
00:11:51.000 And it's based on hate crime hoaxes. 0.95
00:11:54.000 For example, they say anti-Semitism is on the rise.
00:11:58.000 A lot of that is based on this one Israeli teen with mental problems who Crank called a bunch of synagogues.
00:12:05.000 Hate crime hoaxes are on the rise. 1.00
00:12:08.000 Look at the fucking swastikas. 1.00
00:12:12.000 They're not drawn correctly. 1.00
00:12:15.000 There was one case in Brooklyn at a park where someone spray-painted these terrible swastikas, like just scribbles, and then it said, Go Trump beneath it.
00:12:25.000 And it was clearly a hoax.
00:12:27.000 And then the insanity began. 0.93
00:12:30.000 The peak clown world. 0.93
00:12:32.000 You know what they did? 0.58
00:12:33.000 They had a huge rally for peace.
00:12:36.000 Based on... Say it was a Nazi. 1.00
00:12:39.000 Some stupid teenager spray paints a swastika. 1.00
00:12:42.000 You have 500 people come together. 1.00
00:12:45.000 They had rabbis.
00:12:46.000 They had Muslim clerics. 1.00
00:12:48.000 The fucking Beastie Boys came out? 1.00
00:12:51.000 I'm not kidding! 1.00
00:12:53.000 500 people all showed up at this park where some dumb teenager, I'm convinced it's a hate crime hoax, but say it wasn't, some dumb teenager spray painted something on like a kid's park on a slide and they all come together and hold hands to fight back the racism. 1.00
00:13:10.000 It's a fucking mess! 1.00
00:13:14.000 What about Charlottesville? 1.00
00:13:16.000 Yeah, what about the West Side Highway?
00:13:19.000 One person died in Charlottesville. 0.99
00:13:20.000 Stop fucking obsessing over it. 1.00
00:13:23.000 Yes, it was terrible. 1.00
00:13:25.000 Six people die from spider bites every year.
00:13:28.000 I would wager that spiders are a bigger threat to America than Nazis. 0.96
00:13:34.000 Now, Islam, the numbers are kind of low of jihadists. 0.99
00:13:40.000 Like, there's some annoying Muslim activist who points out that more people get killed by furniture than Muslims. 0.99
00:13:47.000 The numbers are comparable, by the way, which isn't good because furniture is every fucking where. 0.99
00:13:51.000 In fact, I'm sitting on it right now.
00:13:53.000 I'm leaning on furniture and I'm sitting on furniture.
00:13:56.000 So that's like, it's like basically water.
00:13:59.000 And a lot of Americans die from water every year. 0.69
00:14:01.000 But to say that Islam is as much of a threat as water is a stretch.
00:14:05.000 But um, there's this trope that, uh, 0.99
00:14:10.000 Actually, white supremacists are a bigger threat. 1.00
00:14:13.000 They're killing more people than Muslims. 1.00
00:14:16.000 And you go, I can sit on an armchair in my home and just mentally go through San Bernardino, the Pulse shooting, the West Side Highway.
00:14:27.000 They always started on September 12th, 2001, to avoid that pesky 3000. 1.00
00:14:33.000 And then there's other things like the beheading in Oklahoma.
00:14:39.000 That is just called workplace violence.
00:14:41.000 Or Fort Hood, where that guy shot his fellow soldiers.
00:14:45.000 That's workplace violence. 1.00
00:14:47.000 And then they take any redneck who shot his brother for fucking his wife. 1.00
00:14:51.000 That's seen as white supremacy. 0.99
00:14:52.000 Or they'll take a bomb threat, where we don't know if it was a hoax or not, and they'll call that white supremacy. 0.99
00:14:59.000 It's so fucking tedious. 0.97
00:15:01.000 So these signs, when you see them, they don't... 0.93
00:15:06.000 I don't think the people who put them up know what they mean.
00:15:08.000 In fact, I went into a store recently and I said it was a carpet store and they did my home's runners. 0.98
00:15:15.000 By the way, little side note, the fucking craftsmanship of these guys is just breathtaking. 0.99
00:15:22.000 I have a hundred year old home. 0.99
00:15:24.000 The hallways are not straight.
00:15:27.000 I have a sort of a hexagonal
00:15:29.000 Carpet going through my hallways and up my stairs.
00:15:32.000 There's no consistency with the stairs.
00:15:34.000 There's gaps in them.
00:15:35.000 Some of them are in a slant.
00:15:36.000 The home is sinking into the sea.
00:15:40.000 And these guys managed to maintain the pattern of the hexagons up the stairs, down the hall.
00:15:47.000 Like, I sit and marvel at it.
00:15:48.000 This is a big problem with society, by the way.
00:15:50.000 We don't marvel enough.
00:15:52.000 Like, when we were skiing the other day in that chair at Okimo,
00:15:57.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:15:57.000 Where the fucking orange thing comes down. 0.99
00:16:00.000 Do you know how many millions of years it would take us to synthesize that ourselves? 0.99
00:16:05.000 Yeah.
00:16:05.000 Like, build me a chairlift with a orange plastic dome covering it.
00:16:12.000 You know how many machines are involved in creating that fucking masterpiece that took us up a mountain? 0.95
00:16:18.000 And labs to make that perfect fiberglassy hood? 0.99
00:16:22.000 Dude, you gotta read Michelle Malkin's book, Who Built That? 0.99
00:16:25.000 She talks about the history of glass and how fucking insanely hard it is to make. 0.89
00:16:30.000 Glass is insane. 0.93
00:16:30.000 Do you know glass is a liquid? 0.93
00:16:32.000 That bugs me out, but I could dig into that.
00:16:35.000 You're glass right now.
00:16:37.000 In the studio is sinking like give it a thousand years and that will have like drip will be dripping Yeah, that's why when you see a house that's 200 years old The glass is all warbly because it's sinking.
00:16:50.000 It's falling.
00:16:51.000 Holy turkeys
00:16:53.000 Oh, by the way, in your runner rug, remember I asked you if you just bought that, like, if you went into a store and just bought it?
00:16:59.000 Like, I asked you, is this a custom-made carpet?
00:17:01.000 You're like, yeah, dude. 0.99
00:17:02.000 They don't sell fucking a million variations of carpets. 1.00
00:17:06.000 Yeah, that was one of the dumbest things I've ever said. 1.00
00:17:07.000 But I was marveling. 0.96
00:17:08.000 No, they bring, they bring, we could do a whole show on carpeting.
00:17:13.000 They bring a sewing machine.
00:17:15.000 And they cut it there, and then they trim the edges.
00:17:17.000 These are like these two huge, tall Jamaican guys.
00:17:21.000 Wagwan.
00:17:22.000 Hey, I'm gonna stitch your carpet, you know, I got Babylon clothes, you know what I mean? 1.00
00:17:26.000 And they're just sitting there sewing, speaking Patois, where I can't understand one fucking word. 0.97
00:17:30.000 That's another documentary I'd love to do. 0.98
00:17:32.000 I'd love to do a documentary on Patois, Glaswegian, and Puerto Rican.
00:17:37.000 Because they're all so far from their origin,
00:17:42.000 That they're unintelligible to people who are not part of that community. 0.97
00:17:46.000 Like if you're in Jamaica at a construction site, you have no fucking clue what they're saying. 1.00
00:17:51.000 Same with the bar in Glasgow. 0.97
00:17:52.000 And I'm told, I don't speak Spanish, but I'm told from my Mexican friends that Puerto Rican is no consonants.
00:17:59.000 It's just one big blob of vowels.
00:18:01.000 That's kind of correct.
00:18:02.000 Yeah.
00:18:03.000 And Spanish people only get, like, a third of what they're saying.
00:18:07.000 Like, in Glasgow, they're like, Hey, what are you doing?
00:18:09.000 I'm not gonna be there, I know ya!
00:18:12.000 See yous people, by the way.
00:18:13.000 Hanging is too good for yous. 0.99
00:18:15.000 That's see you people, by the way. 0.99
00:18:17.000 Hanging is too good for you.
00:18:19.000 I tried to watch that Nesbitt show.
00:18:23.000 It's like that Scottish show.
00:18:25.000 Rab C Nesbitt.
00:18:26.000 They're speaking English, but...
00:18:27.000 I mean, it's not English.
00:18:29.000 I can't.
00:18:29.000 I'm fascinated by it.
00:18:31.000 It's like listening.
00:18:31.000 It's like you know the language they're speaking, but you can't grasp it.
00:18:37.000 It's pretty rough.
00:18:38.000 Well, you know what?
00:18:40.000 I just, this just occurred to me right now.
00:18:44.000 There's some animosity in all of those cultures.
00:18:48.000 It's you saying, I don't want to be part of the bigger group.
00:18:53.000 And Glaswegians hate, they hate, they don't just hate the English. 0.98
00:18:56.000 They hate the Welsh and they hate Edinburgh.
00:18:58.000 They hate the other side of Scotland. 1.00
00:19:01.000 So they developed this accent as a fuck you. 1.00
00:19:05.000 And I would argue that Jamaicans resented the English occupation. 1.00
00:19:09.000 They only got, they only got independence in what was it?
00:19:13.000 60, 69? 0.99
00:19:14.000 Um, they developed their own language as a fuck you to the English. 0.99
00:19:18.000 And Puerto Ricans, Puerto Ricans in New York, they don't like 1.00
00:19:23.000 New York.
00:19:24.000 New York-icans.
00:19:25.000 That's why the Puerto Rican Day Parade is such a big deal.
00:19:27.000 And I don't think they even get along with Puerto Ricans in Puerto Rico. 1.00
00:19:30.000 You go to Puerto Rico and they're not impressed by New York-icans. 1.00
00:19:33.000 Now, there might be some justification for that, because... Justification!
00:19:37.000 There might be some justification!
00:19:40.000 I thought you were gonna let that one go.
00:19:41.000 No.
00:19:42.000 I never let any-cations go.
00:19:44.000 Not even when I'm on vacation.
00:19:48.000 In the 50s, New York decided Puerto Ricans were using up too much welfare, and they gave them a financial incentive to be sterilized.
00:19:57.000 Whoa.
00:19:58.000 Yeah.
00:20:00.000 In the 50s?
00:20:01.000 Yeah.
00:20:01.000 Oh, whoa.
00:20:02.000 So they gave them like 12 grand to be sterilized because 0.99
00:20:07.000 By the way, what you have to know about the 50s is it was right after World War II, and people were just fucking Nazis. 0.97
00:20:13.000 Like in New York, you know that movie about the triplets? 0.97
00:20:16.000 There was an adoption agency that would separate triplets, give them to different homes to test nature versus nurture. 0.98
00:20:23.000 So they'd give one triplet to a poor family, one triplet to a rich family, one triplet to a guy who's never around, and then they would analyze those kids throughout life and not tell them that they're fucking triplets. 0.98
00:20:35.000 Look up that movie. 0.89
00:20:36.000 It's a fascinating movie, but it's triplets, New York, adoption. 0.99
00:20:43.000 But yeah, whenever you hear about shit in the 50s, you got to understand it's right after the Holocaust and people are just fucking dark, evil human, like they're eugenicists. 0.99
00:20:55.000 Eugenics is normal back then. 1.00
00:20:58.000 What's it called?
00:20:59.000 Three Identical Strangers. 0.51
00:21:00.000 Yeah, Three Identical Strangers.
00:21:01.000 There it is. 0.98
00:21:02.000 Really fucking amazing movie. 0.99
00:21:04.000 Jesus Christ, it's shocking. 0.99
00:21:06.000 And it shows you just how dark people were in the 50s. 0.84
00:21:08.000 But yeah, in the 50s, they told Puerto Ricans, it is mathematically advantageous to provide Puerto Ricans with sterilization because they use up more than 12 grand in welfare over the course of their life and they will breed more, so let us provide them. 1.00
00:21:25.000 They're fucking robots. 0.98
00:21:27.000 So I'd understand if Puerto Ricans have some animosity towards the city and to any other different culture. 1.00
00:21:34.000 But yeah, isn't a, isn't a bizarre accent an indication that you don't like, you don't want to assimilate?
00:21:41.000 Like Quebecois. 0.91
00:21:43.000 If you speak French... That's how French people talk now. 0.98
00:21:47.000 In Quebec, they go...
00:22:04.000 It's a bizarre accent that's like 400 years old.
00:22:07.000 And you might find it in the country if you talk to a hundred year old person.
00:22:10.000 But it's very, very, it's sort of like the transatlantic accent where, um, uh, you had people going, hello, how are you sir?
00:22:20.000 Like a weird British American. 0.95
00:22:22.000 It's, it's almost like they've preserved that, but even older, like they call a car a char and it comes from a chariot.
00:22:29.000 It's an ancient language they've preserved.
00:22:31.000 And the Quebecois, and I'm not necessarily against this, by the way, the Quebecois resent Canada. 1.00
00:22:37.000 They call it ka-ka-Canada, like shit, shit-a-da. 1.00
00:22:42.000 And they've preserved their language and their culture. 1.00
00:22:45.000 And I think to do that, you need to have a sense of animosity towards the rest.
00:22:50.000 And I believe as a Westerner, I have animosity towards other cultures. 1.00
00:22:55.000 I'm xenophobic.
00:22:57.000 I don't like other cultures. 1.00
00:22:59.000 I don't like Russia. 1.00
00:23:01.000 I think it sucks. 0.99
00:23:02.000 And it's weird that that's called racist because this is what I was talking about the other day with my lawyer, just for fun. 0.99
00:23:08.000 When you think of the West, you think of basically America and Britain.
00:23:12.000 I know France and Germany, blah, blah. 0.99
00:23:15.000 What has fucking France ever done besides make some great pastries? 1.00
00:23:18.000 No one thinks of France. 1.00
00:23:20.000 They had a riot the other day. 1.00
00:23:21.000 Okay, their chicks are hot and they do anal. 1.00
00:23:24.000 All right, great, whatever. 1.00
00:23:26.000 No one is like, what's France's take? 1.00
00:23:29.000 Has anyone spoken to Macron, the fucking pedophile victim? 1.00
00:23:33.000 Has anyone talked to him about how he feels? 1.00
00:23:36.000 No one gives a shit. 0.98
00:23:37.000 People only care about America and Britain. 0.99
00:23:42.000 So when you say the West, you're thinking of those two countries, and of course all the others.
00:23:46.000 I would even include ABC in there, Argentina, Brazil, and Chile.
00:23:49.000 I'd include South America.
00:23:53.000 As far as like influence and power and who's part of it, you go American Britain.
00:23:58.000 Conversely, when you think of the East, you're really thinking of Russia and China.
00:24:04.000 So that's four groups, right?
00:24:08.000 Three of them are white.
00:24:10.000 One of them is Chinese. 0.67
00:24:13.000 So 75% of this group is white.
00:24:17.000 How is it racist to be a Western chauvinist?
00:24:22.000 Out of the group you hate, 50% of them are white. 0.55
00:24:26.000 It's not a racial thing.
00:24:28.000 It's a free market versus non-free market thing.
00:24:32.000 It's a liberty versus government thing.
00:24:35.000 And the East is pro-government and thinks that they can handle everyone's business.
00:24:40.000 And the West says, no, we'll handle our own business.
00:24:43.000 Thank you very much.
00:24:45.000 I would argue.
00:24:49.000 This podcast is not as funny as I hoped it would be.
00:24:51.000 I'm getting too serious.
00:24:53.000 Do a funny impression or something.
00:24:55.000 Ah, dude, it's like... Okay, that's fine.
00:24:58.000 I would argue that the West is closer to God, because God has built all these things in nature to correct us. 1.00
00:25:06.000 If you fuck your sister, you make a retard. 1.00
00:25:13.000 If you murder someone, you have nightmares every night. 1.00
00:25:15.000 So he has all these checks and balances built into our DNA.
00:25:19.000 So to say, I'm going to handle everything, is to literally play God. 0.99
00:25:23.000 So Putin, and whoever the fuck's running China these days, is playing God. 0.99
00:25:29.000 And that's why you end up with dead bodies everywhere. 0.99
00:25:31.000 Mao killed 80 million.
00:25:33.000 Stalin killed 30 million.
00:25:36.000 Way more than Hitler. 0.92
00:25:37.000 But here, we allow people to roam free because we know that God's checks and balances will even them out. 1.00
00:25:45.000 Someone rapes your sister, you kick the living shit out of them. 1.00
00:25:50.000 You don't have the government handling it. 1.00
00:25:52.000 Although, wait a minute, we do have the government handling it, and that's a terrible analogy, because you'd call the fucking police. 0.99
00:25:56.000 Yeah, I would call them. 1.00
00:25:58.000 I'd call them after I beat the shit out of them. 0.99
00:25:58.000 I wouldn't call the police. 0.99
00:26:00.000 I'd be like, there's a dead guy here, can you get that out of here?
00:26:02.000 Are they just dead guy removal people?
00:26:05.000 You know who has to remove dead bodies?
00:26:06.000 Who?
00:26:06.000 Cops.
00:26:07.000 Yeah, that is interesting.
00:26:09.000 Say someone jumps in front of a train.
00:26:11.000 Oh, really?
00:26:11.000 And their head pops off.
00:26:12.000 Is that the sanitation department or something?
00:26:14.000 No! 1.00
00:26:15.000 Fucking cops! 1.00
00:26:16.000 And here's the thing, so a cop will make a joke, like he'll pick up a head and he'll go, it really does feel like a bowling ball! 1.00
00:26:24.000 Yeah.
00:26:24.000 Right?
00:26:27.000 Political correctness is chastising cops for jokes like that.
00:26:30.000 And, but that's their pressure release and their suicide rates.
00:26:34.000 I don't have any hard data on this, but just from the cops, I know that they all tell me that suicide is on the rise.
00:26:40.000 And I believe it's because they're being censored.
00:26:43.000 They're being.
00:26:44.000 They're being, um, uh, stifled. 0.99
00:26:47.000 And when you don't give a cop a release, they go fucking crazy. 0.95
00:26:51.000 They deal with dead... You know, I know cops who... Some guy killed himself on the subway. 0.99
00:26:57.000 It was in the winter.
00:26:58.000 His dead body froze to the tracks.
00:27:01.000 You know how they got him out? 1.00
00:27:02.000 A fucking power saw. 1.00
00:27:04.000 Like, you know when someone locks their bike and then they abandon it? 1.00
00:27:06.000 And they have to cut the lock?
00:27:06.000 Yeah.
00:27:07.000 Oh my god.
00:27:08.000 That same little handheld...
00:27:10.000 Yeah.
00:27:10.000 That is not what they signed up for.
00:27:20.000 Yeah, I don't think people that are pro-censorship, like the progressives, they don't take laughter seriously.
00:27:26.000 Well, they also don't pick up dead bodies.
00:27:28.000 That's the other thing about hate has no home here.
00:27:31.000 You've never experienced hate.
00:27:32.000 Like, I used to fight Nazi skinheads. 0.99
00:27:34.000 They beat the shit out of me in the 80s. 0.99
00:27:36.000 I've been around hate. 0.98
00:27:39.000 I've experienced conflict.
00:27:40.000 These people have experienced no conflict. 1.00
00:27:41.000 You know what they do in my fucking neighborhood? 0.99
00:27:43.000 In Westchester, they have Earth Day. 1.00
00:27:47.000 And this is a perfect example of what's wrong with lefties in the suburbs.
00:27:51.000 First of all, they moved there because of white flight and they wanted to be away from the ghetto and around nice schools.
00:27:57.000 So you have a racist existence, basically.
00:28:01.000 You know, the less blacks in a neighborhood in America, the more they cherish them. 0.98
00:28:06.000 They treat black people in the suburbs, in the rich suburbs, they treat them like pets. 0.99
00:28:12.000 Like they're so excited and they cherish them in a really sort of patronizing way. 0.93
00:28:17.000 It's not pretty.
00:28:18.000 It's not egalitarian.
00:28:21.000 So they have this Earth Day at a park in Westchester and the taxes are so insane up there.
00:28:28.000 Some guys pay a hundred grand property and education.
00:28:32.000 So the parks are overstaffed to the hilt. 0.98
00:28:36.000 They all have fucking, basically Lamborghinis, the park workers. 0.99
00:28:40.000 They have these, all have trucks. 0.99
00:28:42.000 There's like four trucks for a tiny park. 0.99
00:28:45.000 And there's garbages everywhere and they all have their little fucking vests. 0.99
00:28:47.000 And I'm not demeaning them. 0.99
00:28:50.000 God bless their cotton socks.
00:28:51.000 You got an awesome gig, dude.
00:28:53.000 Being a cop in a small town in the suburbs of New York is awesome.
00:28:55.000 All you have to do is prosecute people who do illegal U-turns.
00:29:01.000 I'm not disparaging small town cops. 0.97
00:29:04.000 In fact, one thing that no one mentions about small town cops is if there's a fucking major shootout, you're on your own. 0.97
00:29:12.000 If there's a shootout in Manhattan, 0.97
00:29:14.000 There's a thousand cops that run to your aid.
00:29:18.000 No one's coming out to you if you're in a rich suburb. 1.00
00:29:20.000 Now, there's not a lot of shootouts, obviously, but if there is, you're fucked. 0.98
00:29:25.000 Anyway, so they have this Earth Day, and they go to Home Depot, they buy like four boxes of contractor bags, which is already bad for the environment, right? 0.99
00:29:36.000 You're facilitating all this extra plastic.
00:29:38.000 And they buy rakes?
00:29:40.000 Like, it's ten rakes. 0.97
00:29:42.000 So you're just buying garbage. 1.00
00:29:44.000 You don't want this shit. 1.00
00:29:46.000 And everyone comes together and they go to clean up the park. 1.00
00:29:49.000 Now, say there's garbage everywhere in the park, which there obviously is not.
00:29:55.000 Even in the hood, you don't have garbage all over the park.
00:29:58.000 But say there was.
00:29:59.000 That's not really bad for the environment.
00:30:02.000 Right.
00:30:04.000 It's sitting there.
00:30:04.000 People don't understand that.
00:30:05.000 I always say that to environmentalists.
00:30:07.000 I say, if I was to take a dishwasher,
00:30:10.000 And on my canoe, go to the middle of the lake and push it into the lake.
00:30:14.000 That's murder.
00:30:14.000 Is that bad?
00:30:15.000 And they go, yeah, it'll take forever to break down.
00:30:18.000 So?
00:30:20.000 It came from the earth.
00:30:22.000 It's steel and plastic.
00:30:23.000 That's where we got the steel and plastic from in the first place.
00:30:26.000 Fish will make it a home.
00:30:27.000 It's not a big deal.
00:30:28.000 Now, if you do a thousand dishwashers and the lake's gone, that's another story.
00:30:31.000 But people think littering is bad for the environment.
00:30:34.000 No, it's ugly.
00:30:36.000 It's unsightly.
00:30:36.000 It's not damaging.
00:30:38.000 Anyway.
00:30:39.000 So they go around picking up garbage at a park and there's like 50 people with contractor bags and rakes.
00:30:48.000 There's literally zero garbage.
00:30:52.000 Zero! 0.90
00:30:54.000 And it's the same as hate has no home here. 0.99
00:30:56.000 There's no fucking hate! 1.00
00:30:58.000 There's no Klansmen galloping up and down the fucking street! 1.00
00:31:02.000 And Trump is not racist, and Trump is not anti-semitic, and anti-semitism is not on the rise! 1.00
00:31:08.000 It's not a pattern!
00:31:10.000 Trump has not emboldened racists!
00:31:13.000 Racism is very weird!
00:31:16.000 And if it was normal, then someone would say, Hi, I'm a white supremacist, and someone else would go, Oh yeah, I've heard of you guys, you're like half the country?
00:31:25.000 It would be like being an albino.
00:31:26.000 Not even an albino.
00:31:27.000 It would be like being a brunette. 1.00
00:31:29.000 It would be like having freckles.
00:31:31.000 People go, oh, he has freckles. 0.93
00:31:33.000 Oh, he's a Nazi. 0.87
00:31:33.000 Yeah, I'd heard about those guys. 0.87
00:31:36.000 Your life is over.
00:31:37.000 Look at how much I've been deplatformed based on the rumor that I might be a racist.
00:31:41.000 So clearly it's not normalized.
00:31:44.000 Clearly it's listed in the general ethos as equal to pedophilia.
00:31:52.000 Jerry Sandusky and David Duke have the same lifestyle.
00:31:57.000 Richard Spencer is seen as Jerry Sandusky.
00:32:01.000 He cannot use social media.
00:32:03.000 He actually is still on Twitter for some weird reason, but he can't monetize anything.
00:32:08.000 I'm not defending Richard Spencer, but
00:32:11.000 He has the same politics as Professor Griff or Louis Farrakhan or the Black Liberation Army or a million different very, very esoteric groups.
00:32:20.000 This is what people don't understand about fascism.
00:32:24.000 It's very parochial.
00:32:27.000 Yes, there are racists in Spain. 0.99
00:32:30.000 The racists in Spain hate Germans and French white people. 0.99
00:32:35.000 They like the Spanish. 0.99
00:32:36.000 In fact, they hate other Spaniards. 1.00
00:32:39.000 What are those separatists in Spain called again?
00:32:42.000 Let me see.
00:32:44.000 I want to say Balkans or something.
00:32:46.000 But fascism involves your unique culture.
00:32:53.000 Very limited to you.
00:32:55.000 What are they called?
00:32:57.000 I haven't found it yet.
00:32:58.000 Spanish separatists.
00:33:02.000 Anyway.
00:33:04.000 Now that's going to bug me.
00:33:05.000 This is one of the worst parts of being old.
00:33:07.000 Catalan.
00:33:08.000 Catalan.
00:33:08.000 And Basque.
00:33:09.000 And Basque. 1.00
00:33:10.000 The two things that suck about being old is you can never remember what the fuck you're talking about. 1.00
00:33:13.000 And then you get stuck in a rut. 0.99
00:33:15.000 Like you'll be trying to remember Charlton Heston.
00:33:16.000 You'll be like, what's the guy?
00:33:17.000 Planet of the Apes?
00:33:20.000 Kind of growly voice.
00:33:21.000 He's got gorgeous feet in Ben-Hur.
00:33:23.000 What's his name?
00:33:24.000 And then you can't let it go. 1.00
00:33:26.000 And then you just sit there going, what the fuck is his name? 0.99
00:33:30.000 That's annoying. 0.99
00:33:31.000 And then no one tells you this about being old.
00:33:32.000 You have to read with reading glasses.
00:33:35.000 You can't read after like 38.
00:33:38.000 No one told me that.
00:33:40.000 So my mom had a great piece of advice.
00:33:42.000 She goes, go online, buy like 50 pairs of reading glasses, and just scatter them around your house.
00:33:48.000 Because you're always going to be looking for reading glasses.
00:33:51.000 I'm sorry, what was the feet thing? 0.98
00:33:54.000 Um, this is gay. 0.99
00:33:55.000 This is literally gay. 1.00
00:33:58.000 I had a hint of that when you said it the first time. 0.97
00:34:00.000 Yeah, it's a homosexual thing, I believe. 1.00
00:34:03.000 I have homosexual tendencies. 0.52
00:34:06.000 He has nice feet.
00:34:07.000 In Ben-Hur, he's on a raft, and I couldn't help but notice he has gorgeous feet.
00:34:13.000 Oh, so this isn't like a thing, this is... No, this is just me.
00:34:17.000 The bones, you know those long bones that go to your toes?
00:34:21.000 Those are well-defined.
00:34:23.000 You know it's possible that some of these Hollywood types are just better.
00:34:28.000 Like maybe Ronald Reagan was a good president because he's just a superior human being.
00:34:34.000 Like he just has better genetics.
00:34:37.000 Sometimes when I'm hanging out with celebrities I think, maybe you're just better.
00:34:40.000 Like, Sean Lennon, he comes from a long line of samurais.
00:34:45.000 Wow.
00:34:45.000 His mother's family were samurais.
00:34:48.000 And I've hung out with him a couple of times, and sometimes I think, maybe you're just a superior human being. 0.99
00:34:52.000 Or like, Jimmy Kimmel, he drives me insane with his fucking politics, obviously. 0.98
00:34:56.000 But could you do that? 0.99
00:34:59.000 Like, could you have a talk show like that?
00:35:01.000 No, he's pretty smooth.
00:35:03.000 I think it's a very unique talent.
00:35:05.000 Jimmy Kimmel might be superior.
00:35:08.000 He's got nice hair and nice teeth and shiny eyes.
00:35:11.000 Maybe he's a better guy. 1.00
00:35:13.000 Maybe his shit is better. 1.00
00:35:16.000 It's like perfect little brown cylinders that just come out. 1.00
00:35:19.000 But I don't think it's gay, by the way, because... Oh, you're looking at it now?
00:35:23.000 That's a feminine foot. 1.00
00:35:25.000 I think we equate femininity like... Well, then I shouldn't like it.
00:35:29.000 I shouldn't like a man having feminine traits. 1.00
00:35:32.000 Well, that's just the thing. 0.70
00:35:33.000 If you could lose the rest of them, then that's not gay at all. 1.00
00:35:35.000 Give my wife a foot transplant. 1.00
00:35:40.000 Actually, he doesn't need them anymore.
00:35:41.000 Oh, they're probably... I waited a little too long.
00:35:44.000 They're green now. 1.00
00:35:46.000 Yeah, shit. 0.99
00:35:48.000 You really gotta get them within the hour. 1.00
00:35:50.000 I should have said that when he died.
00:35:51.000 I should have said, so what's going on with his feet?
00:35:54.000 Is anyone taking those?
00:35:56.000 I'm sorry, what sir?
00:35:58.000 I would like to put them on my wife or me, if that's possible.
00:36:02.000 Can you ask the hospital for a transplant when you don't really need it? 1.00
00:36:06.000 I want a heart transplant, like right now, just because I'm an alcoholic and my heart's a piece of shit. 1.00
00:36:13.000 You know what I would kill for, literally? 1.00
00:36:16.000 An anus transplant. 0.98
00:36:17.000 Oh, I know. 1.00
00:36:18.000 My ass. 1.00
00:36:20.000 I've never had gay sex. 1.00
00:36:22.000 I may have had one butt plug up there once or some girl with a finger like once. 1.00
00:36:27.000 It is. 0.99
00:36:28.000 I have the anus of an 80-year-old gay man, and when I walk through the West Village, I tip my hat to them because we're peers. 0.98
00:36:35.000 I don't know what happened. 0.99
00:36:36.000 I guess it's boozing, but like, I need to do a bidet if I'm going to the bathroom because it'll bleed.
00:36:45.000 It's always itchy.
00:36:46.000 I always have track marks.
00:36:49.000 What do they call them?
00:36:50.000 Skid lines?
00:36:50.000 Skid marks on my underwear.
00:36:52.000 I don't know what the fuck. 0.99
00:36:53.000 Remember you told me that when you wipe 0.99
00:36:55.000 That you're just kind of like erasing your entire body from the back?
00:37:00.000 Like if I keep going I won't exist anymore. 0.99
00:37:02.000 Sometimes I'll be wiping my ass and I'll just go, it's always brown on the toilet paper, and I'll just go, you know what? 0.98
00:37:06.000 I gotta get on with my life. 0.99
00:37:08.000 I gotta get back to work. 0.99
00:37:09.000 I'm not gonna sit here all day until my ass bleeds from wiping. 0.97
00:37:13.000 I'm just gonna put a man pond in, like a folded tissue, and just walk around with that because this isn't working. 1.00
00:37:19.000 You have to cauterize your asshole every time you take a shit. 1.00
00:37:22.000 If I'm on vacation, and I'm away from my bidet, I'm fucked. 1.00
00:37:27.000 Like, I have to basically give myself an enema. 0.98
00:37:29.000 And by the way, go to Biffy.com.
00:37:31.000 B-I-F-F-Y.com. 0.81
00:37:33.000 Not you, Ryan, but in general.
00:37:35.000 And buy these. 1.00
00:37:36.000 They're 80 bucks, and they connect to your tank, and they blast, literally blast the shit out of your ass. 1.00
00:37:41.000 Oh, is that what that is? 1.00
00:37:42.000 And if you relax perfectly, it goes right up your ass. 1.00
00:37:44.000 You have an enema. 1.00
00:37:46.000 And that's the only way I can go shit now. 0.99
00:37:48.000 I have to have a full enema ass blast or my underwear is ruined and I'm a wreck. 0.99
00:37:53.000 And I don't know how we got here. 1.00
00:37:55.000 I don't have an anal sex history. 1.00
00:37:57.000 Why is my asshole such a wreck? 1.00
00:38:00.000 But, but speaking of. 1.00
00:38:02.000 If you don't use it, you lose it.
00:38:06.000 I, if a 13 year old dies in a car accident, that's obviously horrible.
00:38:11.000 But if no one's using that, can I get it?
00:38:16.000 Maybe go with 17 or 18.
00:38:17.000 I don't know, where do you cut though?
00:38:20.000 It's not a finger. 1.00
00:38:21.000 Like there's no, where do you, what is an asshole? 0.99
00:38:24.000 We could do it. 1.00
00:38:24.000 Besides me. 1.00
00:38:25.000 It's, it's, uh, you would play the lining and then they would distend, you know, like in the, the prolapse, you'd cut that.
00:38:31.000 It's inexorably linked to your entire body.
00:38:34.000 Like the muscles that clench your anus, they start in your head. 1.00
00:38:38.000 Like there's, there's no way, there's no such thing as an asshole really. 1.00
00:38:43.000 Wow, that's deep. 0.99
00:38:44.000 Yeah, there's no such thing. 0.99
00:38:46.000 I say there's no such thing as a racist, and there's no hate around, but there's also no such thing as an asshole. 1.00
00:38:51.000 Yeah, an asshole is like... You cannot do an anal transplant. 1.00
00:38:55.000 An asshole isn't stuff, it's lack of stuff. 1.00
00:38:58.000 Exactly. 1.00
00:38:58.000 You know, it's defined by the... Yeah, like, clench your anus right now. 1.00
00:39:02.000 You're using, like, a lot of shit. 1.00
00:39:04.000 It actually hurts my tailbone. 1.00
00:39:06.000 Yeah, that's probably involved. 0.95
00:39:08.000 There's no such thing as an anal transplant. 1.00
00:39:09.000 I think we're just a huge vessel for our assholes. 1.00
00:39:12.000 You know, I love talking to doctors about gross shit, and they're never really into it. 1.00
00:39:18.000 Doctors are not fun, by the way. 0.99
00:39:22.000 My favorite thing to say to doctors is, what if someone cut off their eyelid with scissors? 1.00
00:39:26.000 What the fuck do you do there? 0.99
00:39:27.000 Because the eye still works. 0.99
00:39:31.000 But it's going to dry out.
00:39:33.000 So do you put a wet pad on it?
00:39:35.000 And they never give me a good answer.
00:39:36.000 And also... You asked that more than once?
00:39:38.000 Oh, a million times. 1.00
00:39:40.000 You, you, you can replace skin, like on a hip, say you get a burn, but that skin of an eyelid does shit. 0.99
00:39:48.000 So how do you, you, it's got muscles in it. 0.96
00:39:50.000 You can't replace that. 0.96
00:39:51.000 You can't use anal tissue. 0.92
00:39:54.000 So yeah, I guess you got to give up on the eye? 0.99
00:39:56.000 And you can't, even if you have a spare eyelid, can you fucking stitch it together good? 1.00
00:40:01.000 Yeah, how the fuck? 0.99
00:40:02.000 Because it's not just the skin, right? 0.99
00:40:03.000 There's muscles.
00:40:04.000 It feels like it's like its own creature. 1.00
00:40:06.000 God damn it. 1.00
00:40:07.000 Can you imagine how hard it is to do an eyelid transplant? 1.00
00:40:12.000 Holy shit. 0.99
00:40:13.000 That's a bummer. 1.00
00:40:13.000 You'd have to shrink your body to be one inch tall. 1.00
00:40:17.000 Oh yeah, I see.
00:40:18.000 And with a giant, you got the giant needle now, and you're stitching, because you gotta stitch the muscle tissue, which you just hope God can fix on his own.
00:40:27.000 Right, right. 0.99
00:40:28.000 Like John Bobbitt, they fucking found his dick in a park by the side of the road, and then some guy stitched it back on. 1.00
00:40:37.000 What did he stitch back on? 1.00
00:40:39.000 Isn't there like a million veins in a cock? 0.99
00:40:42.000 Yeah, I guess that just does grow back, maybe. 0.98
00:40:44.000 I guess God, like, corrects your mistakes.
00:40:48.000 You sew the main veins, and then God's like, I'll handle all the capillaries.
00:40:52.000 That main vein thing.
00:40:53.000 Yeah.
00:40:54.000 The urethra.
00:40:55.000 That can't work.
00:40:56.000 I'd start with the urethra.
00:40:57.000 I'd sew the urethra. 1.00
00:41:00.000 I was joking with Anthony Kumi the other day, and I said, I didn't realize that that fucking bitch, Lorena Bobbitt, got 45 days in a mental institution for chopping off a man's cock. 1.00
00:41:11.000 And he goes, what was the charge? 1.00
00:41:12.000 Littering? 1.00
00:41:14.000 And it took me 24 hours to get his joke because she chopped the top of his dick off. 1.00
00:41:18.000 She took it with her. 1.00
00:41:19.000 She got in a car and then she threw it out the car window. 1.00
00:41:22.000 And these awesome cops, God bless their cotton socks, found the dick, put it on ice, went to the hospital. 0.76
00:41:29.000 And then I believe it was nine hours of operating and they sewed, I'm going to say the urethra and like five of the top veins.
00:41:40.000 And then the capillaries... I don't fucking know. 0.96
00:41:43.000 Do they find each other? 1.00
00:41:44.000 I hope nothing ever happens to my dick. 1.00
00:41:47.000 Good or bad. 1.00
00:41:48.000 I hope my dick... Call me old-fashioned. 1.00
00:41:50.000 I hope my dick never gets chopped off. 1.00
00:41:54.000 One time I was with a heart surgeon, and my uncle-in-law does transplants, and he told me how to do them. 1.00
00:42:02.000 And he's like, it's not that hard.
00:42:04.000 There's a machine that opens up your ribs.
00:42:06.000 You don't have to break the ribs anymore.
00:42:07.000 That's cool.
00:42:08.000 And then it's only four ventricles, four big pieces of penne pasta.
00:42:13.000 And you hook their femur up, their femoral artery, to a machine, and it does the blood pumping.
00:42:20.000 So you have three hours to do this.
00:42:23.000 So the machine is doing the heart pumping, right?
00:42:26.000 You cut out the heart, put in a new one, sew up the four pennes, and you're good.
00:42:30.000 So I met a heart surgeon at some conservative, like, luncheon thing. 1.00
00:42:36.000 And I said, uh, let's cut the shit. 1.00
00:42:37.000 It's not that fucking hard. 1.00
00:42:39.000 And I said what I just said. 0.99
00:42:40.000 And he shows me a picture on his phone of a fucking open heart surgery. 0.99
00:42:43.000 And he goes, OK. 0.99
00:42:45.000 He goes, what's my next step?
00:42:49.000 What should I do here?
00:42:49.000 I just see blood.
00:42:50.000 Like you can't even see. 1.00
00:42:52.000 It's just like fucking gore. 0.99
00:42:54.000 And he's like, what should I do now? 0.99
00:42:56.000 And I'm like, I don't know.
00:42:58.000 Are all the pennies sewed together yet? 0.98
00:43:00.000 Uh, I have no fucking clue, dude. 0.99
00:43:02.000 Your job is hard. 0.99
00:43:03.000 Wow.
00:43:04.000 It kind of goes back to this whole point of reverence.
00:43:08.000 Like, we don't marvel anymore. 1.00
00:43:10.000 We should fucking blow doctors. 1.00
00:43:14.000 If you see a surgeon on the street, you should drop to your knees and start blowing him, even if you're not gay. 1.00
00:43:21.000 You know those things that build ocean liners? 0.99
00:43:24.000 Have you ever seen this?
00:43:25.000 It's like, there's these sped up videos of the building of an ocean liner.
00:43:32.000 And the machines that do it, like layer by layer, or a cruise ship or something.
00:43:36.000 The guy, you should blow the guy who made that. 0.99
00:43:39.000 Gay, straight, I don't care. 1.00
00:43:41.000 Not if you're a kid. 0.98
00:43:42.000 All adults, all adults.
00:43:44.000 After the age of 18, you should blow Surgeon.
00:43:50.000 Cops, people who build ocean liners, people who build chairlifts.
00:43:55.000 That's a large team, dude. 0.99
00:43:58.000 Blow them all. 0.98
00:43:59.000 You should walk around with knee pads. 0.55
00:44:02.000 Part of your routine, like, oh, I gotta go get the morning paper.
00:44:06.000 I'll put on my slippers and my knee pads in case a surgeon walks by.
00:44:09.000 Now that sounds insane, but I think the way to balance that out is if you haven't... If you haven't blown a guy that... If you can't find your nearest construction worker who builds ocean liners, you blow somebody who's blown at least five of them.
00:44:21.000 So that way you keep the... You know what I mean?
00:44:23.000 What's that called?
00:44:24.000 Pay it forward?
00:44:25.000 Yeah.
00:44:25.000 Yeah.
00:44:26.000 And by the way, that goes for female brain surgeons and female engineers. 1.00
00:44:31.000 You should eat them out. 0.83
00:44:32.000 Yeah, agreed.
00:44:33.000 Here's the good news.
00:44:35.000 They don't want you to, so you should offer.
00:44:38.000 So when you go up to a female brain surgeon and go, by the way, I appreciate what you do.
00:44:42.000 You saved a lot of lives.
00:44:43.000 Happy to eat you out.
00:44:44.000 And they'll say, no, thank you.
00:44:46.000 And he's like, okay, well, I'm here if you need me.
00:44:48.000 Yeah, you should insist once, because I think they're being nice.
00:44:50.000 Yeah, there should be, like, hate has no home here.
00:44:52.000 There should be a little, you know how you have that AIDS ribbon that you put on your lapel?
00:44:55.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:44:56.000 There should be an oral sex ribbon. 1.00
00:44:58.000 I got mine already. 1.00
00:44:59.000 That you put.
00:45:00.000 It just has, like, a drop of jizz.
00:45:04.000 It's like, what you do is you take Elmer's glue and you just put a blob of it on your lapel.
00:45:09.000 That's a good idea. 1.00
00:45:10.000 And what it means is women and men, but mostly men, let's cut the shit. 1.00
00:45:15.000 Who, you know, help create society and save lives. 1.00
00:45:18.000 We're happy to blow you.
00:45:19.000 This happened, by the way, I thought this was really uncool.
00:45:22.000 After September 11th in New York, firemen, I'm not a fan of the FDNY, by the way.
00:45:28.000 It's sort of like Army and Navy, like you have to choose sides.
00:45:30.000 I'm a cop guy.
00:45:31.000 I'm not a fireman guy.
00:45:33.000 One group gets paid to sleep.
00:45:35.000 The other gets paid to risk their lives every day.
00:45:38.000 Yeah, but what about fires?
00:45:39.000 Yeah, I've lived in New York for 20 years.
00:45:41.000 I've seen two fires.
00:45:43.000 There's a murder a day, however, in East New York.
00:45:46.000 So one group's busier than the other.
00:45:49.000 But anyway, there was firemen. 0.99
00:45:52.000 Let's take a moment to shit on firemen. 1.00
00:45:54.000 There was firemen who were wearing their fucking 1.00
00:45:59.000 They're sort of, not just their uniforms, but their like fancy uniforms. 0.99
00:46:03.000 Yeah, their class A's or whatever. 0.99
00:46:04.000 Yeah, with the suit and the lapels and the fucking hat. 0.99
00:46:07.000 And they were going to bars on Avenue A and getting made out with. 1.00
00:46:13.000 Because women would just come up to them and just start French kissing them everywhere they went. 1.00
00:46:19.000 And of course, fireman's first thought when that's going on is, let me get some of that.
00:46:23.000 You didn't see cops doing that.
00:46:25.000 You didn't see cops going to bars.
00:46:28.000 And I'm thinking of a specific bar on a, what was it called?
00:46:32.000 I think it was called a bar across from Manitoba's.
00:46:34.000 Is that what it's called?
00:46:36.000 Or maybe it's called Avenue A. Um, just walk around getting Frenched.
00:46:40.000 Like 3,000 people died and you're like, can I get some French in under that? 0.99
00:46:44.000 By the way, another thing about the FDNY that is rarely talked about, you can look this up. 0.98
00:46:49.000 They fucking robbed a Rolex store in world trade. 0.96
00:46:53.000 Oh, like during the... Yes, dude. 0.99
00:46:56.000 Before it collapsed.
00:46:57.000 They were down there.
00:46:59.000 Now we all want a Rolex.
00:47:01.000 Every man thinks about a Rolex every two days.
00:47:05.000 It's about a week from me, but yeah, I do think.
00:47:07.000 Really?
00:47:07.000 Yeah, because this clock doesn't stop.
00:47:09.000 It doesn't tick.
00:47:10.000 And that's the thing about the Rolexes, too.
00:47:11.000 They're just constant.
00:47:12.000 Oh, really?
00:47:13.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:47:13.000 I thought about a Rolex today on the way here, and it's the stupidest purchase you could ever buy. 1.00
00:47:18.000 $26,000 for a fucking watch, but it's guaranteed for life. 1.00
00:47:22.000 You can give it to your son, and it's only a matter of time before I fucking buy one. 1.00
00:47:26.000 A $26,000 boat, by the way, is awesome. 0.98
00:47:30.000 Really?
00:47:30.000 Yeah.
00:47:31.000 You can cook in it.
00:47:32.000 It'll be used.
00:47:33.000 You can cook in it.
00:47:33.000 You can sleep in it.
00:47:35.000 It's a really cool boat that your family would enjoy.
00:47:37.000 You'd go to see Mets games on it. 0.99
00:47:40.000 You could fucking go to Atlantic City in it. 0.99
00:47:42.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:47:43.000 It's a really cool thing to buy for your family.
00:47:45.000 You can go water skiing. 1.00
00:47:47.000 A fucking watch is the stupidest way to spend $26,000, but I just cannot stop thinking about it. 1.00
00:47:53.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:47:54.000 My dad said that about a Jaguar car, and I bought him one, and he totaled it.
00:47:59.000 Oh, did he?
00:48:00.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:48:01.000 He's a fucking blind, deaf, drunk. 1.00
00:48:06.000 Fuck, last time he was here he was like, sorry? 1.00
00:48:08.000 Sorry? 1.00
00:48:09.000 Every single thing I say, hey dad, is that the New York Post?
00:48:12.000 Sorry? 1.00
00:48:13.000 Get a fucking hearing aid, old man. 1.00
00:48:16.000 I'll pay for it. 1.00
00:48:17.000 You cannot hear.
00:48:18.000 100% of the time you say, sorry?
00:48:20.000 Sorry? 0.99
00:48:23.000 Wait, about in defense of firefighters, at least near me, I don't know about FDNY, because there's not a lot of car wrecks, but like deer, they step out and they fuck you up, or you try to avoid the deer, and there's a lot of car crashes upstate, and ones that end up being fatal, like a lot of people I know from- Yeah, why the fuck is it illegal to kill every deer you want to kill? 0.98
00:48:43.000 That's a great point. 0.99
00:48:44.000 They're just elegant rats. 0.99
00:48:46.000 It's a stupid law that goes back to the 1950s, back when everyone was evil, and their fear was that deer will be the primary source of meat and they'll become extinct. 1.00
00:48:57.000 That makes sense. 1.00
00:48:59.000 But meat is cheap.
00:49:00.000 We don't need that no more. 0.99
00:49:01.000 You know how many of my wife's Indian relatives have been to fucking jail? 1.00
00:49:06.000 For killing deer? 1.00
00:49:07.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:49:08.000 Every single one of her uncles has done jail time for killing deer and they were killing deer to fucking eat them because they were hungry and they were poor. 0.82
00:49:14.000 Yeah, you only get four or something like that? 1.00
00:49:16.000 It's pathetic. 0.97
00:49:17.000 I knew a guy upstate who went to jail for like two weeks for shooting a deer from his car. 1.00
00:49:22.000 Deer kill people.
00:49:24.000 They ruin your garden. 1.00
00:49:26.000 You can't fucking plant an apple tree without covering it. 1.00
00:49:30.000 A hundred percent with screens because this fucking deer will eat them. 1.00
00:49:33.000 They are a absolute nightmare. 1.00
00:49:35.000 And by the way, a deer will kick the living shit out of you. 1.00
00:49:38.000 Really? 1.00
00:49:39.000 Oh yeah.
00:49:40.000 I knew a guy, okay, I'm not going to lie.
00:49:42.000 I read a story about a guy who wanted to domesticate a deer.
00:49:47.000 So he, they would come to his pig's trough and eat his pig feed.
00:49:52.000 So he last sued one.
00:49:54.000 He had a rope there.
00:49:54.000 He got it around his neck and he tied it to the trough.
00:49:59.000 And the deer went ballistic and started wrecking the whole trough and everything about it. 0.99
00:50:04.000 So he went, oh shit, I'm in over my head here. 0.99
00:50:06.000 So he's trying to cut the cord. 1.00
00:50:07.000 He finally cut the rope.
00:50:09.000 The deer has a noose around its neck now, but it's not suffocating anymore and it's free, right?
00:50:16.000 Um, he's, the deer starts attacking him and he's running back to his house.
00:50:21.000 The deer is, God, it's hooves in his back going like going up on two legs.
00:50:27.000 Wow. 1.00
00:50:28.000 And biting him, biting him on the back and kicking the shit out of him. 1.00
00:50:32.000 He said he was in bed for three days. 1.00
00:50:34.000 Oh my God.
00:50:35.000 In severe pain. 0.99
00:50:36.000 Those hooves are no fucking joke too. 0.98
00:50:37.000 I mean, and they're fast. 0.99
00:50:38.000 No, they want, they want revenge.
00:50:41.000 Yeah!
00:50:42.000 Oh there you go!
00:50:43.000 Yeah!
00:50:44.000 Look at that! 0.91
00:50:44.000 They will kick, look there he is kicking him out! 0.91
00:50:47.000 They don't give up!
00:50:48.000 It seems like he's not dropping it.
00:50:49.000 It's not like that's a defensive measure then he runs away.
00:50:51.000 It's like they want to keep going with this fight.
00:50:55.000 I was reading about the origin of men's clubs because of Proud Boy stuff and there was like the Elks Lodge and the Moose and the Freemasons and all Knights of Columbus and
00:51:04.000 The moose, they were saying, we chose the moose because it's the most American animal and it's big and strong, but it keeps to itself and it won't hurt anyone.
00:51:15.000 It doesn't use its power, you know, for bad. 1.00
00:51:18.000 And I'm reading it going, that is fucking horse shit. 1.00
00:51:22.000 A moose is a son of a bitch. 1.00
00:51:23.000 During mating season, they will eviscerate a man. 1.00
00:51:27.000 A moose is bad news when he's horny. 0.99
00:51:30.000 And a moose will kick the living shit out of another moose. 1.00
00:51:33.000 They will beat up men. 1.00
00:51:35.000 They will kill people. 0.99
00:51:37.000 They're not nice. 0.98
00:51:39.000 It's not a painting.
00:51:41.000 And that's not an exception to the rule? 0.99
00:51:42.000 Like a feral fucking rabbit? 0.99
00:51:45.000 It's very rare that a moose will hurt someone. 1.00
00:51:48.000 But that's not for want of trying.
00:51:50.000 Yeah, maybe you're right.
00:51:52.000 We don't know.
00:51:52.000 No, we do know.
00:51:54.000 Anyway, um...
00:52:15.000 Yes, and in their defense, they go there for like a cat caught in a tree and other emergencies, first response stuff.
00:52:24.000 But look, if someone's choking on a chicken bone, send someone in a Honda Civic who can do CPR.
00:52:32.000 You don't need a truck
00:52:33.000 A firetruck.
00:52:35.000 Two firetrucks and 15 guys.
00:52:38.000 And that siren. 0.76
00:52:39.000 I heard it every day when I lived in the city.
00:52:42.000 And what it means is we're needed.
00:52:44.000 You need us.
00:52:45.000 You need these taxes.
00:52:46.000 And they get the same pensions as cops.
00:52:48.000 They're making 100 grand a year from 40 to 80.
00:52:50.000 For what?
00:52:52.000 Having a barbecue and sleeping?
00:52:56.000 Now, another thing about firemen you gotta understand is about 70% of firemen, you know, around America are volunteer.
00:53:03.000 It's only in the city that they have to pay.
00:53:05.000 Oh, I see.
00:53:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:53:06.000 But eventually, you know, they just become so expensive that the city goes bankrupt and they have to privatize.
00:53:11.000 Anyway, this has been kind of a wandering podcast. 0.99
00:53:13.000 I wanted to focus on Hate Has No Home here and what a stupid... it's not even virtue signaling. 0.99
00:53:20.000 It doesn't mean I hate hate, because you don't. 1.00
00:53:23.000 What it means is I hate Trump.
00:53:25.000 And more importantly, it means Trump supporters, Republicans, conservatives, even libertarians, basically anyone who doesn't follow 100% of the crazy liberal tropes that change every day, and it's a new gender and a new bathroom. 1.00
00:53:39.000 If you don't support all that shit, 1.00
00:53:41.000 Then I hate you. 1.00
00:53:43.000 That's really what it means.
00:53:45.000 Did I already tell this story?
00:53:46.000 I went into a store.
00:53:47.000 Yeah, the carpet store.
00:53:48.000 Did I finish that story?
00:53:49.000 No.
00:53:49.000 I don't think I did.
00:53:50.000 I went off on a tangent about carpets.
00:53:52.000 So I go into the carpet store and I go, Hi, I'm, I guess you'd say Republican.
00:53:59.000 And, um,
00:54:00.000 Your sign is a DNC sign.
00:54:03.000 So it's sort of like if you're a Mets fan and it says, it's a big Yankees logo, it sort of says Mets fans aren't wanted here.
00:54:10.000 Like am I, can I do business here?
00:54:12.000 Are you saying we don't do business?
00:54:14.000 And they go, we're Republican.
00:54:15.000 We voted for Trump.
00:54:17.000 And I go, okay, well you have a DNC sign in your window.
00:54:19.000 They don't even know?
00:54:20.000 They didn't even know.
00:54:22.000 And the woman, it's always women, she goes, I just thought it was a nice gesture.
00:54:27.000 And I go, well, it actually means a lot more than just, hate has no home here.
00:54:31.000 It's basically saying we want Trump out.
00:54:33.000 And she goes, and she took it down.
00:54:35.000 I didn't tell her to take it down.
00:54:36.000 Right.
00:54:36.000 But.
00:54:38.000 You see this one?
00:54:39.000 This is brand new.
00:54:40.000 Hate has no business here?
00:54:41.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:54:42.000 The fuck does that mean? 0.99
00:54:43.000 I don't know if it's brand new. 1.00
00:54:43.000 You don't want the Klan, you don't want the Ku Klux Klan shopping at your store. 1.00
00:54:48.000 Okay.
00:54:48.000 They've, they've never been to your store.
00:54:51.000 They will never go to you.
00:54:53.000 There's, how many Klan members are there?
00:54:54.000 I think there's like,
00:54:56.000 I think registered- look that up.
00:54:58.000 How many registered Klan members are there?
00:55:00.000 And why are you in the suburbs of New York saying, I don't want any Klansmen in my house? 1.00
00:55:07.000 It's the stupidest fucking thing ever! 1.00
00:55:10.000 It's like saying I don't want any rapists at my house. 1.00
00:55:13.000 Got it!
00:55:15.000 That's crystal clear.
00:55:16.000 We already know that.
00:55:18.000 What you're saying when you put that sign up is that you think hate is big.
00:55:22.000 You think there's a pattern of hate.
00:55:24.000 You think hate is on the rise.
00:55:26.000 And that's not true.
00:55:28.000 It's so easy to disprove.
00:55:31.000 Go to a dinner party. 0.92
00:55:33.000 Tell everyone there that you're a Nazi. 1.00
00:55:35.000 That you hate 1.00
00:55:37.000 Jews and you want blacks to go back to Africa. 1.00
00:55:40.000 The entire dinner party will gasp and they'll drop their fucking forks. 1.00
00:55:44.000 I did that. 1.00
00:55:45.000 Oh, actually the Post.
00:55:46.000 I'm sorry.
00:55:46.000 Go ahead.
00:55:47.000 Go ahead.
00:55:48.000 Oh the New York Post.
00:55:50.000 This is a February of 2018 says KKK chapters are dwindling and according to the definition of hate group other hate groups are on the rise.
00:56:01.000 So yeah.
00:56:02.000 Defined by the S.P.L.C.
00:56:04.000 and the S.P.L.C.
00:56:05.000 says anyone who's Catholic or is against gay adoption or gay marriage or is an ex-Muslim who thinks that Islam is going a little far, that's on the hate group.
00:56:15.000 Another thing S.P.L.C. 0.99
00:56:16.000 does too is say there's some crazy group like a fucking white nationalist whatever party and they have 15 headquarters. 0.99
00:56:26.000 That could be one guy by the way in his basement. 1.00
00:56:28.000 So they put that on the hate map.
00:56:30.000 Or family, like three families tops or something, you know, just... Yeah, they have every division of that group, like every location. 0.98
00:56:39.000 So it's almost like every member really becomes a pin on their fucking hate map. 0.82
00:56:43.000 Yeah, it says, uh, from 2016... Yeah, they fell from 130 groups to 72 last year. 0.97
00:56:50.000 And then despite... And a group is probably three.
00:56:54.000 Oh yeah, that could be kind of this group, yeah.
00:56:56.000 And it counted a total of 954 active hate groups in 2017.
00:57:00.000 Like, Jesus Christ.
00:57:00.000 But just do the math in your own head.
00:57:03.000 Like, work it out yourself.
00:57:05.000 There's a racist. 1.00
00:57:06.000 He hates blacks. 1.00
00:57:07.000 Okay, so he's at a bar. 1.00
00:57:09.000 I've said this a million times, but he's at a bar and a black guy sitting next to this alleged Archie Bunker white nationalist racist piece of shit, right? 1.00
00:57:18.000 The black guy likes the Mets. 1.00
00:57:20.000 He doesn't understand why anyone would have a sandwich where the bread wasn't toasted. 0.98
00:57:23.000 Because it's soggy.
00:57:25.000 You want some crunch in there.
00:57:27.000 And, uh, he hates that, um...
00:57:30.000 Women are in action movies. 1.00
00:57:32.000 The black guy, by the way, feels all of this.
00:57:34.000 You think the white guy is going to deny himself an interesting conversation at a bar because of race? 0.99
00:57:40.000 People are too selfish. 0.87
00:57:42.000 And it's the same with businesses.
00:57:44.000 Companies are too selfish.
00:57:45.000 They want to make a profit. 0.99
00:57:47.000 If there's an accountant who's going to save the money and he's black, they're going to go, come on down, dude. 1.00
00:57:52.000 I'm not going to say, no, thank you. 0.99
00:57:54.000 I don't like Negroes. 1.00
00:57:56.000 And deny the company someone who's going to help them? 0.97
00:57:59.000 People aren't like that. 1.00
00:58:02.000 Fuck! 1.00
00:58:04.000 It's simple math. 1.00
00:58:06.000 And here's an interesting anecdote about fascism and how parochial it is and how Spanish fascists are just going to stick to Spain. 0.53
00:58:15.000 There's no risk of Spanish Catalans, fascists, taking over America, Germany, France, becoming a plague. 0.90
00:58:24.000 They're too local. 0.89
00:58:27.000 When Churchill decided to engage in World War II and fight Hitler, the head of the English fascist party, they had a fascist party. 1.00
00:58:38.000 He said, fuck Hitler. 1.00
00:58:41.000 We're with you, Churchill. 1.00
00:58:43.000 So Hitler's a fascist.
00:58:45.000 There's a head of the English fascist party.
00:58:47.000 Churchill declares war.
00:58:49.000 What does the guy do?
00:58:50.000 He sides with his country over fascism.
00:58:54.000 Which is why Pat Buchanan says we shouldn't have gotten involved in World War II.
00:58:58.000 We should have let Hitler and Stalin duke it out and they both would lose and then we'd have no fascism and no communism. 0.88
00:59:06.000 I think it's a very interesting theory and it's well told in the book The Unnecessary War.
00:59:11.000 Anyway.
00:59:14.000 We are in a crazy time in America.
00:59:17.000 We have split into two.
00:59:19.000 One side thinks the other side are Nazis and they're going to start World War III. 0.97
00:59:23.000 The Nazi side thinks that this side is retarded. 0.91
00:59:29.000 The side who said that.
00:59:30.000 I'm quoting Proud Boy Magazine right now, which is a good compendium of myths.
00:59:38.000 That's unique.
00:59:39.000 I mean, we had this in Vietnam, where you were either a commie who hated the war in Vietnam, and by the way, you were right, or you were a patriot who wanted to wipe out communism, and by the way, you were right.
00:59:51.000 That was a major split in America in the 70s.
00:59:53.000 I think we're back there.
00:59:55.000 Thanksgiving is not friendly anymore.
00:59:58.000 Christmas, people are deciding not to go.
01:00:02.000 There's guests being replaced.
01:00:03.000 Alan Dershowitz isn't invited to his dinners at Martha's Vineyard, and all they do at those dinners is talk about Alan Dershowitz and how he became such an evil Nazi. 0.70
01:00:13.000 I don't know if it's reparable.
01:00:15.000 I honestly don't because it's so predicated on myths.
01:00:20.000 This idea that hate is this looming force that's about to take over the country.
01:00:26.000 There's going to be more synagogue shootings?
01:00:29.000 Slavery's going to come back? 1.00
01:00:30.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00
01:00:31.000 Slavery's back in Libya. 1.00
01:00:33.000 Islam is doing great with slavery. 1.00
01:00:36.000 Why don't you give a shit about that? 1.00
01:00:38.000 Why always Charlottesville? 0.99
01:00:39.000 Why never West Side Highway?
01:00:41.000 I don't understand why you're Bigfoot chasing with your Nazi glasses when there's a looming threat right there. 0.66
01:00:49.000 It's not a very dangerous threat, by the way.
01:00:50.000 It's still well below furniture.
01:00:52.000 But if, you know, England and Germany and Europe is any indication, it could get worse.
01:01:02.000 I just, I'm genuinely baffled by this obsession with finding Nazis in your soup. 0.99
01:01:10.000 It's just downright fucking bizarre. 0.97
01:01:14.000 And it's the future of this country. 0.95
01:01:15.000 It's definitely going to go past the 2020 election.
01:01:19.000 It's going to go into the next president.
01:01:21.000 If Trump wins, it's not going to stop until he's not in office.
01:01:25.000 And if Elizabeth Warren, Pocahontas wins, it still won't stop. 1.00
01:01:32.000 I don't see it coming back. 1.00
01:01:34.000 And the crazy part is, it's based on a fucking myth. 0.99
01:01:39.000 We are living in Salem, and all we talk about is witches. 1.00
01:01:44.000 And I'm deemed a witch.
01:01:46.000 I have no platforms but this and YouTube for now, although I can't monetize it, but I've been declared a witch.
01:01:55.000 And that would be fine if any of it was true.
01:02:00.000 Like if you said Gavin McInnes is a sexist because he thinks women would be happier at home, that's cool. 1.00
01:02:07.000 I'd love to fight that fight. 0.98
01:02:08.000 Or if you said he's a transphobe because he thinks that there's only two genders and most trans people are just mentally ill gays, that's actually a thing I believe. 0.99
01:02:17.000 That would be great. 0.99
01:02:19.000 But that doesn't sell newspapers. 1.00
01:02:21.000 So they've got to do the anti-Semitic Nazi fucking racist bigot shit. 1.00
01:02:27.000 And when you base your philosophy on 50% of the country being racist. 1.00
01:02:34.000 And they're not, you've got to create racist out of thin air.
01:02:37.000 And that's where we are.
01:02:38.000 And that's what hate has no home here means.
01:02:41.000 It means I create racist out of thin air. 1.00
01:02:43.000 And if you have that sign on your lawn, you're a fucking retard. 1.00
01:02:47.000 And if you have it in your store, you are stupid and bad at business. 1.00
01:02:53.000 Thanks for tuning in. 0.99
01:02:53.000 I'm going to start doing these a lot more until my platform is denied, which will probably be a matter of weeks. 0.99
01:03:00.000 And I've got some big announcements coming up with litigation and litigation and a new show.
01:03:10.000 I was talking to, I've been talking to a lot of rich people about a lot of big projects and I will keep you posted here.
01:03:16.000 Anyway, I like you more than a friend and I'll see you probably Monday, maybe Monday.
01:03:21.000 Yeah, I'll see you Monday.
01:03:23.000 What?
01:03:26.000 What about Get Off My Lawn?
01:03:27.000 That's not a show anymore, dude.
01:03:29.000 We got fired.
01:03:30.000 Oh, we'll call this podcast.
01:03:33.000 What do you want to say?
01:03:33.000 Why are you whispering?
01:03:35.000 You have a microphone next to your fucking face. 1.00
01:03:37.000 It's been so long. 1.00
01:03:38.000 I thought that you ended the show with Get Off My Lawn.
01:03:41.000 I ended the TV show with Get Off My Lawn.
01:03:43.000 I didn't end the podcast with Get Off My Lawn.
01:03:45.000 I'll cut this whole out.
01:03:47.000 Okay.