Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 07, 2019


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #102 | Why is everyone at the ski hill wearing a goddamn helmet?

Topics
anal habits bicycle helmets bald shaming
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Okimo Faith Goldie Mark Ruffalo Ann Coulter Trump George Brett George Takai Ezra Levant Eric Garner Roger Ailes Sonny Bono Tom Hanks Ludlow Puma Travis Darnell Mary Tyler Moore Great Wolf Lodge Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Barbara Corcoran Gretchen Carlson and 33 more
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #101 | I hate "hate has no home here" signs Get Off My Lawn Podcast #103 | How to have a perfect life

Episode Stats


Length

53 minutes

Words per minute

189.09

Word count

10,148

Sentence count

1,048

Harmful content

Misogyny

50

sentences flagged

Toxicity

304

sentences flagged

Hate speech

58

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the boys talk about helmets, racism, and the weirdest thing you can do with a black guy in the city. Also, the guys talk about what they would do if they were black in New York City, and why they don t like them. Also, they talk about how they would talk to a black kid in a public place if they saw a black person, and how it would be funny if they did it. They also talk about why they think it's a good idea to go up to black people and say hi to them, and what it would look like to do that. And, of course, there's a story about a guy who got kicked out of a party because he was too small to ride a rollercoaster and lost his skis. Oh, and they also get into a debate about whether or not black people should be allowed to have their own private elevator rides in NYC. Don't miss it! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Art by Skating in the City. Thank you for listening and supporting this podcast. We really appreciate it. Please don't forget to rate, review, subscribe, and share it on Apple Podcasts, and tell a friend about this podcast! and tell us what you think about it on Insta: or tag us in the podcast and we'll get a shoutout! and a review and a shout out in next week's episode of the podcast next week! Thanks again for listening to this episode! Timestamps: 5 stars! 5 stars is a big thank you! 6 stars is much appreciated! 7 stars is enough! 8 stars is more than enough, right? 9 stars is really helps spread the word about this episode? 10 stars is appreciated, right?? 11 stars is not enough? 12 stars is very much appreciated, thank you? 13 stars is too much? 15 stars is so much appreciated? 16 stars? 17 stars is super much more than you can I ask for it? 18 stars is also a lot more than that? 21 stars is just enough, really really helps me out there? 19 stars is the word I really appreciate you really appreciate this much, really means a lot, really mean it? Thank you so much, much more?

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Why is everyone at the ski hill wearing a goddamn helmet? 1.00
00:00:08.000 Alex Jones, when he says goddamn, he says he's not taking the Lord's name in vain because he's talking about people he wants to go to hell. 1.00
00:00:14.000 So goddamn them to hell. 1.00
00:00:16.000 I don't want people who wear helmets to go to hell. 1.00
00:00:18.000 I don't want, you don't, you shouldn't be in a lake of fire for eternity if you wear a helmet. 1.00
00:00:23.000 But you should be made fun of because you look ridiculous. 0.99
00:00:27.000 What is going on? 0.99
00:00:30.000 I grew up in Canada where everyone skied.
00:00:32.000 It's not an upper middle class thing the way it is in America.
00:00:36.000 In America it's for rich white people. 0.75
00:00:39.000 Not even Jews. 1.00
00:00:41.000 I said to Ezra.
00:00:42.000 Levant.
00:00:43.000 I go, hey man, we were at a resort.
00:00:45.000 Oh, chemo.
00:00:46.000 And I go, it's just great.
00:00:48.000 It's great for the family.
00:00:49.000 The kids are off screens.
00:00:51.000 You're sitting there one-on-one with them on the chairlift and it's exercise and it's just cool.
00:00:57.000 You guys should do it.
00:00:58.000 Did you ski?
00:00:59.000 And he goes, uh, no.
00:01:01.000 He said, yeah, do your Ezra Levant.
00:01:04.000 Uh, no.
00:01:04.000 Where, where Jews don't ski.
00:01:06.000 Uh, yeah, uh.
00:01:09.000 Um, Gavin, um, we don't do that.
00:01:13.000 Um, yeah, uh, we don't ski.
00:01:15.000 We don't.
00:01:16.000 It's like when you see Jews on horses and you say, uh, we don't do that. 1.00
00:01:23.000 That's what he said.
00:01:25.000 He said, we don't belong on those things.
00:01:26.000 That's hilarious.
00:01:27.000 Um, but we were also joking.
00:01:31.000 There was a, there was, you'd see like one black guy a day and we were joking about how funny it would be to go up to him and just be like, Hey, Hey, Hey, uh, 0.85
00:01:40.000 What are you doing?
00:01:41.000 Let's go.
00:01:42.000 Let's go.
00:01:42.000 Party's over.
00:01:45.000 If there's a kid in a bar or something, or like someone on a roller coaster ride that's too small to ride, and they get caught. 0.99
00:01:50.000 Yeah, I was saying like, he would just acknowledge it and be defeated, be like, damn, man. 0.97
00:01:54.000 He goes back home, and he's like, this fun lot lasted. 0.98
00:01:57.000 I almost did it today, guys.
00:02:00.000 Yeah, and he gets back home.
00:02:01.000 He says to his black friends, yo, I got kicked out of Okemo.
00:02:04.000 And they go, oh, how long did you last?
00:02:06.000 Oh, I went to like 1 PM before they noticed.
00:02:09.000 Party's over, pal.
00:02:10.000 Na-na-da-da-da-da.
00:02:12.000 Come on. 0.97
00:02:12.000 Oh, then I realized, you know what would be fucking amazing? 0.97
00:02:15.000 You know the black guy, and you tell him in advance the plan. 0.98
00:02:19.000 And he's like, yeah, okay, that'll be funny.
00:02:21.000 So then all these white people who, the richer and the whiter people are, the more they cherish visible minorities, because they resent themselves for not having more black friends.
00:02:31.000 So it's not a joke that works in the Bronx, but you go up to him and you go, hey, hey, buddy, buddy, come on, what are you doing?
00:02:37.000 And he goes, ah.
00:02:38.000 You might have to make it a little more obvious.
00:02:41.000 Yeah. 0.58
00:02:42.000 Like maybe like, hey, there's a black guy here.
00:02:45.000 Hey, hey. 0.98
00:02:46.000 And then you say to your wife, honey, look, there's a black guy here. 0.96
00:02:49.000 And then you you make that clear. 0.98
00:02:51.000 So that pisses people off.
00:02:52.000 Yeah. 0.63
00:02:53.000 And then you walk over and go, buddy, buddy, what the hell?
00:02:55.000 What?
00:02:56.000 Let's go.
00:02:56.000 Let's go.
00:02:58.000 And then he is despondent and takes off his skis and starts walking away.
00:03:02.000 That would be a fun one.
00:03:03.000 You know, you know, be really funny if everybody around were like,
00:03:06.000 Yeah!
00:03:07.000 Oh my god, that would be so terrible! 1.00
00:03:09.000 And you're like, oh shit! 0.99
00:03:11.000 I'd be like, I guess we're leaving too! 0.99
00:03:12.000 No, but they do think they're precious, like any type of city people, like upstate, you know why? 0.99
00:03:18.000 It's like when you see a deer and you live upstate, you're like, fuck those things. 0.99
00:03:23.000 They have their issues. 1.00
00:03:24.000 I do think they're beautiful and cool, but they have their flaws. 1.00
00:03:26.000 And people from the city are like, yo, that's a fucking moose, dawg. 1.00
00:03:29.000 Yes. 1.00
00:03:30.000 You're like, that's not a moose, dawg.
00:03:30.000 But in the city, Ryan, to be clear, your analogy is pretty racist.
00:03:34.000 It's entirely racist, I'm sorry. 1.00
00:03:36.000 I don't see black people in Manhattan and go, fuck, what are those deer doing here? 1.00
00:03:39.000 I did say they're beautiful. 1.00
00:03:40.000 No, that's a terrible racist analogy.
00:03:42.000 That analogy just fell apart altogether.
00:03:45.000 But you know what I mean.
00:03:46.000 The rarity of it.
00:03:46.000 Yeah, but wouldn't that be terrible if you did a joke like that and as you were walking away some guy pats you on the back and goes, thanks man.
00:03:53.000 I was gonna say something.
00:03:55.000 That's how I know that we're not very racist. 0.53
00:03:59.000 You go to a place like Vermont, it's super duper white. 0.96
00:04:01.000 The people are whiter than the snow they're skiing on and they would absolutely hate that.
00:04:05.000 They'd be like that.
00:04:05.000 I felt loved.
00:04:08.000 I'm a visible, I'm a VM, visible minority.
00:04:11.000 You're a Vim?
00:04:12.000 I felt loved. 0.81
00:04:13.000 No one cares about race, or no one cares about gays, no one cares about trans. 0.96
00:04:17.000 This whole like, trans thing. 0.96
00:04:20.000 They're trying to erase us. 0.90
00:04:22.000 No, I'm just not listening to you.
00:04:23.000 Like, if you don't give them a bathroom, or pay attention to their pronouns, you don't want them to exist. 1.00
00:04:31.000 So that's like saying to someone, if you don't tip your hat to me when I walk by, you want me to die.
00:04:37.000 No, I'm just not doing that.
00:04:38.000 I won't be ignored.
00:04:40.000 That's what it's like.
00:04:41.000 Sorry, you're getting ignored.
00:04:42.000 And it's funny, because I lived in the city for a quarter century, and then we moved to the suburbs, and one of the first things...
00:04:52.000 I noticed was no one talks about gays because they're not here. 1.00
00:04:57.000 Like in the city, you can come up with anything like a bubble gum tax.
00:05:02.000 And one of the first questions is, well, what do the gays think?
00:05:04.000 And have any gays weighed in on this?
00:05:07.000 And, oh, how are we doing with AIDS?
00:05:08.000 And what's going on with the gay stuff? 0.99
00:05:11.000 And it's just part of your group. 0.89
00:05:13.000 And then you move to the suburbs, and no one dislikes gays. 0.86
00:05:16.000 It's just gay marriage. 0.93
00:05:19.000 Nothing gay is ever mentioned.
00:05:21.000 It's just sort of usurped.
00:05:23.000 It's removed from the equation.
00:05:24.000 It's something fun to gossip about if somebody comes out, but I remember in school it wasn't a big deal.
00:05:29.000 They were just like, yeah, he's gay.
00:05:30.000 It is almost like a token gay friend too, where you're like, I'm being nice to him.
00:05:35.000 People would be
00:05:36.000 Overtly nice to people. 1.00
00:05:37.000 Well, it's what you do with your asshole, really. 1.00
00:05:40.000 Yeah, it's none of my beeswax. 1.00
00:05:41.000 And it's none of my business. 0.99
00:05:42.000 Like if there was a couple who only did anal. 1.00
00:05:45.000 A straight couple. 0.99
00:05:46.000 Imagine them mad at you for not caring and being like, oh, excuse me, we're an anal couple. 0.99
00:05:50.000 Can I read a book in front of your kids? 0.98
00:05:52.000 No! 0.99
00:05:53.000 Probably has to do with butts! 1.00
00:05:54.000 Get out of here! 1.00
00:05:56.000 No one cares about me and my wife's anal habits. 1.00
00:05:59.000 I'm an anal couple. 0.99
00:06:00.000 Excuse me, we're an anal couple. 0.99
00:06:02.000 We matter. 0.99
00:06:02.000 We're having a parade. 0.99
00:06:04.000 You're what? 0.99
00:06:05.000 We're having an anal parade. 0.99
00:06:06.000 Yeah, that is odd. 1.00
00:06:07.000 And then they go, no, it's about a lot more than anal sex. 1.00
00:06:10.000 Okay, so can gays be criticized then? 0.99
00:06:12.000 Because if you're a group that has a characteristic, and it's all cohesive, then that characteristic could be criticized.
00:06:20.000 If you can be proud of something, then other people can criticize it, no?
00:06:23.000 Yeah, yeah, that's a good point.
00:06:24.000 You can be proud of being left-handed.
00:06:25.000 Can other people criticize being left-handed?
00:06:27.000 You can't create a culture and say, we're a culture, and then also say, we're all perfect and no one can criticize this culture.
00:06:34.000 It's either a thing or it's not a thing.
00:06:36.000 Yeah, that is odd.
00:06:37.000 Anyway, skiing is the excellent, it's the antidote to the screen problem.
00:06:45.000 Whoa, struck a nerve there?
00:06:48.000 Oh, excuse me.
00:06:50.000 It is.
00:06:50.000 It's the only way to get your kids off screens.
00:06:53.000 I don't know what you do in the summer.
00:06:54.000 I've heard buying a boat.
00:06:56.000 is a way out of it.
00:06:58.000 And you don't have to buy a yacht.
00:06:59.000 You can buy just a little motorboat, a little outboard motor on a little tin can and take the kids fishing or water skiing.
00:07:07.000 When I was a kid, we would go water skiing and the boat was nothing to write home about.
00:07:13.000 Just one little motor, little tin can thing.
00:07:16.000 It's funny, all of these pursuits that I did as a hoser kid, a lower middle class kid, are now stuff of the elites.
00:07:25.000 Like golfing, golfing when we were kids, you just have like jean shorts, Chuck Taylors and a six pack in a backpack.
00:07:33.000 And you'd have like four clubs and you'd lose a box of balls throughout the course of the game. 0.97
00:07:39.000 And it was, it was not, it was not for country clubs, but here in America you get, there's still white trash golfing. 1.00
00:07:46.000 I managed to find it, but a lot of it is like a club that's $60,000 to join. 0.68
00:07:52.000 Yeah, that's kind of weird too, because you're going through this huge process to go do something that you would just flippantly do.
00:07:59.000 Was the process to go snowboarding and skiing way easier in Canada, since everybody's doing it?
00:08:05.000 Every weekend, that's all.
00:08:07.000 And there'd be, the average, it was in Carp, Ontario, and there were these farmer's kids called Carpies, and their uniform was a baseball hat.
00:08:18.000 A ski jacket, jeans, and a cigarette in their mouth.
00:08:21.000 And that's how they'd ski.
00:08:22.000 It's also how they would, in high school, at the Earl of March in Canada, they would still wear that.
00:08:28.000 So they'd have their jeans and their ski jacket, they'd wear their ski jacket in glass.
00:08:32.000 And their hats, their baseball hats, would just be resting on the tippy-tip top of their heads, like a mosquito could knock it off.
00:08:39.000 Oh, okay, yeah, I know that style, yeah.
00:08:41.000 I remember once I had, I was a punk rocker, and my head was shaved.
00:08:45.000 And it was blonde with leopard skin spots I had painted on with black dye and a paintbrush. 0.99
00:08:51.000 And Scarpy goes, you need a fucking haircut, guy. 0.99
00:08:55.000 I'm like, dude, my head's shaved. 1.00
00:08:59.000 You got the wrong insult there. 1.00
00:09:03.000 You need to fucking hair change. 1.00
00:09:04.000 You need your hair grow or you need your hair dyed brown? 1.00
00:09:06.000 I don't know.
00:09:07.000 You're going to have to take me to the salon to undo this, dude.
00:09:10.000 I'm going to start calling people Guy for sure. 1.00
00:09:12.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00
00:09:12.000 That's how they talk down there in Ottawa. 1.00
00:09:14.000 Hey, Guy. 1.00
00:09:14.000 You sound like fucking leprechauns who just had a big coffee. 1.00
00:09:17.000 Just did a fucking key bump. 1.00
00:09:19.000 Fucking, look at McKinnis there walking down the two foreigners aren't fucking coming back from the Big Apple, eh? 1.00
00:09:23.000 Look at this, fuck. 1.00
00:09:24.000 I go, what? 1.00
00:09:24.000 You sound like a leprechaun being tickled. 1.00
00:09:27.000 Fucking look at this guy over here fucking walking down the street, fuck. 1.00
00:09:31.000 Is Faith Goldie a carpe? 1.00
00:09:33.000 No.
00:09:34.000 She does have a, it's rare that in Toronto they have such a hoser accent. 0.98
00:09:39.000 I don't know why she has that accent. 0.99
00:09:41.000 But I go, Faith, you're one of the most talented people in journalism.
00:09:45.000 You're an incredible orator, and don't make that sexual.
00:09:49.000 She did a speech once with Rebel where I said, you're going to be the next Prime Minister, guaranteed. 0.99
00:09:53.000 But if you're going to have a national or a North American, a continental appeal, you gotta fucking lose those boots. 0.99
00:10:02.000 Like, literally go to a speech therapist and stop saying a boot. 1.00
00:10:09.000 It's fucking, you should hear it when she gets a fucking dart, we call cigarettes darts in Canada. 1.00
00:10:13.000 Oh really? 1.00
00:10:13.000 When she gets a fucking dart in her mouth, you should fucking hear her go. 1.00
00:10:16.000 She smokes, you know. 1.00
00:10:17.000 Oh yeah, fuck. 1.00
00:10:18.000 When we were in Israel, she's like, I want to fucking come back here. 1.00
00:10:21.000 I can't believe that fucking the Muslims have taken over Bethlehem, fucking Jesus's birthplace, fucking there's a million Muslims praying right outside where Jesus was born, eh? 1.00
00:10:30.000 And there literally is, Bethlehem's not remotely Christian anymore. 1.00
00:10:34.000 She goes, I'm going to come back here, fucking start breeding. 1.00
00:10:37.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:10:37.000 And then we were joking about how there'd be a statue of her once it became Christian again, and it would be her with a lumberjack jacket and a dart in her hand and a Molson Canadian and a toque. 1.00
00:10:50.000 And then all her Christian ancestors in Bethlehem would have that accent, just like in Quebec. 0.58
00:10:56.000 The accent is... All of Israel sounds like Faith Goldie. 0.96
00:10:59.000 Yeah, in Quebec the accent is that.
00:11:00.000 That like, bon ben, qu'est-ce qu'il fait bon là?
00:11:02.000 That's a redneck from rural France 400 years ago. 1.00
00:11:07.000 So my joke about hosers in Bethlehem is actually true in Quebec. 1.00
00:11:12.000 They have a Faith Goldie accent.
00:11:17.000 There's a funny clip where you mock her lightly.
00:11:20.000 Oh really?
00:11:20.000 Let's hear it.
00:11:21.000 You plug that into the board?
00:11:23.000 How does that work?
00:11:25.000 I'll just take a second.
00:11:27.000 How are you?
00:11:28.000 Hi there, Gavin McInnes.
00:11:29.000 I'm very well.
00:11:30.000 How are you doing?
00:11:31.000 Hi there, Gavin McInnes.
00:11:32.000 How are you doing?
00:11:32.000 I'm very well.
00:11:35.000 That is such... It's irresistible.
00:11:38.000 I cannot resist.
00:11:40.000 It sounds like you're listening to a different language almost.
00:11:44.000 Hi there, Gavin McInnes.
00:11:44.000 How are you?
00:11:45.000 And she's the perfect amount of offended when I do it too. 0.88
00:11:47.000 She's like 13% offended. 1.00
00:11:50.000 And she's half smiling because she's like, you motherfucker. 1.00
00:11:53.000 She doesn't even know it's coming. 1.00
00:11:54.000 If it was over 50%, you'd go, I'm not doing this.
00:11:59.000 Um, but yeah, when we were kids, you'd go skiing and you'd wear what I was wearing last weekend, just like a lumberjack shirt, like a tartan, a flannel jeans, uh, and a baseball hat.
00:12:12.000 And you, you wouldn't even wear goggles.
00:12:13.000 You'd have your glasses on or whatever.
00:12:15.000 Sometimes you'd have goggles.
00:12:16.000 Um, and we would do, there was a popular movie out at the time and there was a scene in it called the Chinese downhill.
00:12:23.000 Where they would race down to the bottom of the hill and, uh, they would, uh, just destroy each other on the way down.
00:12:31.000 And, uh... What's the movie?
00:12:34.000 Oh, there it is.
00:12:34.000 It looks to be... Hey, look!
00:12:35.000 He's wearing a Mets hat!
00:12:36.000 The hot dog, the movie.
00:12:38.000 That's exactly what I was wearing this weekend!
00:12:38.000 Is he wearing a Mets hat?
00:12:40.000 Yeah, but... It's the same hat!
00:12:42.000 You had an orange vest. 1.00
00:12:43.000 Is that a fucking... Oh, that is! 1.00
00:12:45.000 It's a Mets hat! 1.00
00:12:46.000 That's great. 0.99
00:12:46.000 Holy crap! 0.99
00:12:47.000 Yeah, you looked super cash, dude. 0.99
00:12:50.000 I know, no one was dressed like me.
00:12:51.000 I was dressed like the 80s.
00:12:53.000 Yeah, it was 80s.
00:12:55.000 Every single person on the hill has a helmet on. 1.00
00:12:58.000 Are you retarded? 1.00
00:13:01.000 Are you a baby? 1.00
00:13:02.000 I guess it's okay, my kids wear them, fine.
00:13:05.000 It's okay on little kids, little Johnny's five.
00:13:08.000 But you adults!
00:13:10.000 What are you gonna do?
00:13:11.000 You're gonna hit a tree?
00:13:13.000 How many times has someone hit a tree?
00:13:14.000 Are you all related to Sonny Bono?
00:13:16.000 What was it?
00:13:17.000 It was Sonny Bono, and then I think it was Liam Neeson's wife?
00:13:21.000 Oh yeah, that's right.
00:13:21.000 I found that out when you had mentioned it at the thing.
00:13:23.000 That sucks. 0.78
00:13:24.000 Okay, so two people died. 0.96
00:13:26.000 And I've brought this up before, and people say, that clip better not be playing through the board, by the way.
00:13:33.000 I brought this up before and people go, you know that 98% of fatalities on ski hills are from people not wearing helmets?
00:13:41.000 And to that I say, okay, and how many is that?
00:13:45.000 One a year?
00:13:46.000 98 sounds pretty big, but if it's five people...
00:13:50.000 Six people die a year from spider bites.
00:13:52.000 If you're in that range, then your risk is irrelevant.
00:13:56.000 Okay.
00:13:56.000 We don't live in the Amazon.
00:13:58.000 There's some few black widows in, uh, in New York. 1.00
00:14:02.000 Um, you're not going to get bitten by a poisonous spider. 0.85
00:14:04.000 Eric Garner's wife.
00:14:05.000 You're not going to hit a tree.
00:14:07.000 What?
00:14:08.000 Eric Garner's wife.
00:14:10.000 I'm going to take that out. 0.99
00:14:13.000 Black widows. 0.99
00:14:15.000 Oh Jesus. 0.98
00:14:16.000 I'm so sorry.
00:14:17.000 Um,
00:14:19.000 You can leave that in.
00:14:20.000 Okay.
00:14:22.000 It's rude.
00:14:23.000 Oh look, they wear protective gear on their Chinese downhill.
00:14:24.000 You're about to say it's rude.
00:14:26.000 We didn't wear that.
00:14:27.000 We would just... So this is what we'd do.
00:14:28.000 You'd be bombing down the hill and you'd see your buddy, like Rick Lowe, and then you just have this awesome James Bond thing where you know when you're really bombing down a hill and you veer to the right?
00:14:37.000 You get this incredible velocity where you're just like... And I would just come barreling at him and then crash!
00:14:47.000 Send him flying! 0.87
00:14:49.000 It would be what we call a yard sale, where it would just be like ski, ski, pole, pole, hat, glove, for about a mile.
00:14:58.000 And it would get done to you too, obviously.
00:15:01.000 And that's how we'd get down to the bottom of the hill. 0.99
00:15:03.000 We would kill each other.
00:15:05.000 And then you see these people wearing helmets because they might bonk.
00:15:09.000 Oh, we saw people.
00:15:11.000 I saw people on snowshoes this weekend. 1.00
00:15:14.000 What the fuck is that? 0.99
00:15:15.000 They're walking on a ski hill. 1.00
00:15:18.000 Do you also ride your bike on a NASCAR trail?
00:15:21.000 What are you doing?
00:15:23.000 What are you doing? 0.62
00:15:24.000 I might fall and hit my head.
00:15:26.000 Yeah, you should wear it when you walk around Manhattan, too.
00:15:28.000 You never know. 0.82
00:15:30.000 You might bonk your noggin. 0.71
00:15:31.000 I hate bicycle helmets. 0.86
00:15:33.000 I was a bike messenger for five years in Montreal through the snow, sleet, and hail.
00:15:37.000 I never wore a helmet.
00:15:40.000 And I never had a bunch of accidents.
00:15:42.000 I've been hit by a car a million times.
00:15:44.000 I just ran into a car the other day and my shoulder's all messed up.
00:15:48.000 It's still messed up?
00:15:49.000 Yeah, when I box I can't do a left hook.
00:15:53.000 I think I may have fractured a bone.
00:15:56.000 Anyway. 1.00
00:15:59.000 Yeah, it's just like the water bottle shit, where people go, yeah, tap water can kill you. 0.99
00:16:04.000 It's made of iodine and LSD. 0.99
00:16:08.000 So all these women walk around with, that's why purses are so big now. 1.00
00:16:13.000 Purses are gigantic to hold this stupid water. 0.99
00:16:15.000 They also think it makes them thinner. 1.00
00:16:17.000 Because they just pee out all the calories. 0.95
00:16:19.000 You know, I do have to say, I've been thirsty around women before, and they're like, yeah, I got some water in my purse. 1.00
00:16:25.000 Like, an extra unopened one.
00:16:27.000 Oh, they have theirs, and then the guests?
00:16:29.000 They have a guest house in their purse?
00:16:31.000 And it never would have occurred to me... You know, gum is something you could always ask a girl with a purse for, but I've seen bottles of water being pulled out of purses.
00:16:41.000 You're absolutely right.
00:16:43.000 And the purse industry, by the way, in New York is 100% of retail.
00:16:48.000 Wow.
00:16:48.000 If you go look at a map of New York, right, Google Maps, and start zooming in, and you'll see every icon for every store, like on 6th Avenue by Macy's, the icon is a purse.
00:16:59.000 And you go into these stores, Macy's or whatever, and the bottom floor, Prada, all of those, Louis Vuitton, the bottom floor's all purses. 1.00
00:17:07.000 These women and their fucking purses. 1.00
00:17:09.000 Everything drives me insane. 1.00
00:17:11.000 Nothing is logical anymore.
00:17:12.000 Why do you need more than one purse a lifetime? 0.87
00:17:15.000 I don't understand.
00:17:16.000 Why are you wearing a helmet?
00:17:17.000 You're not gonna fall. 1.00
00:17:18.000 You're not gonna hit your head on the fucking snow. 0.99
00:17:20.000 And if you hit your head on snow, it doesn't hurt. 0.99
00:17:22.000 You're not gonna get a concussion.
00:17:25.000 And you don't need water all the time!
00:17:28.000 You don't need to hydrate, that's a lie!
00:17:31.000 You need to have 1.7 gallons a day in order to what?
00:17:35.000 How many people have died of dehydration?
00:17:38.000 Please tell me.
00:17:39.000 As we say this, by the way, we're watching a guy fall down a ski mountain.
00:17:43.000 Ooh, that looks rough, too.
00:17:44.000 But that's an action film in a crazy, hysterical plot about Chinese downhill. 0.98
00:17:50.000 You know, people really did survive without water for a long time.
00:17:55.000 Or minimal water.
00:17:56.000 We didn't have clean drinking water in New York until what, the 1860s?
00:18:00.000 Everyone was drinking alcohol.
00:18:02.000 Little kids were drinking beer.
00:18:04.000 And they barely drank any.
00:18:05.000 Remember when it occurred to us the other day that, uh...
00:18:08.000 That beer was never cold back then?
00:18:11.000 Yeah.
00:18:11.000 Yeah.
00:18:11.000 Yeah.
00:18:12.000 All those saloons, all those Westerns, you're watching someone, uh, drink hot whiskey and hot beer.
00:18:19.000 Cause it wouldn't just be warm.
00:18:20.000 It would be hot.
00:18:22.000 Yeah.
00:18:23.000 Oh, what's worse than a hot whiskey?
00:18:25.000 That's a bummer. 0.99
00:18:27.000 If I was, when you're hung over and someone presents one plate has a hot whiskey on it, the other plate has a cock. 0.99
00:18:34.000 And you're like, hmm. 0.98
00:18:37.000 This is a tough one.
00:18:38.000 This is Sophie's choice. 1.00
00:18:39.000 I might dip the cock in the whiskey, but I'll definitely take the cock. 1.00
00:18:43.000 Wait, so who does the cock belong to? 1.00
00:18:46.000 Is it Brad Pitt? 0.99
00:18:47.000 It's a homeless guy.
00:18:48.000 No, they don't all have the hot whiskey. 1.00
00:18:50.000 I only suck off hunks. 0.99
00:18:53.000 That's one of my rules. 0.99
00:18:54.000 That is a good rule. 0.99
00:18:55.000 I only suck off hunks. 0.99
00:18:56.000 That's a t-shirt. 1.00
00:18:57.000 Yeah.
00:18:58.000 Oh my god, imagine you wore a shirt like that.
00:19:01.000 You can wear it in Chelsea. 0.98
00:19:03.000 It's like gay Harlem. 1.00
00:19:05.000 They would love that shirt. 0.68
00:19:07.000 People would stop you and say, where can I buy that?
00:19:14.000 Your snowboard pants, the waterproof ones, and you didn't even need them.
00:19:18.000 You didn't fall once.
00:19:19.000 And you would do the thing where you'd almost bomb into me, like you'd come super close and then just skid.
00:19:24.000 Yeah, I came so close to just drilling you.
00:19:27.000 Did you think in your mind, like, I might hit him? 0.81
00:19:30.000 Well, oh yeah.
00:19:31.000 But there's times, like, it was kind of icy there, so there's times when I thought, if I really destroy this guy, he's gonna break a rib. 0.98
00:19:38.000 But if you were near some powder, I would have fucking... 1.00
00:19:43.000 Killed you. 1.00
00:19:44.000 The first day would have been the day for that. 0.99
00:19:46.000 But all you do is fall.
00:19:48.000 I fell a lot.
00:19:48.000 It's so frustrating.
00:19:49.000 I don't think you know how to snowboard.
00:19:51.000 Well, I was doing good for a long time.
00:19:53.000 Like, a lot of it isn't falling.
00:19:54.000 Like, I did make it down the mountain.
00:19:56.000 No, you just—my son, my five-year-old son, had to sit and wait for you many times.
00:20:01.000 You know, that was another funny thing.
00:20:03.000 He thought—you know how you have to do a pizza slice to go slow?
00:20:06.000 You put your skis in a V, and he goes, Dad, Dad, Dad, when you do this, when you make your skis a pizza, you go really fast.
00:20:14.000 And I go, no, dude.
00:20:15.000 When you make your skis parallel, that's when you go fast.
00:20:18.000 You do the pizza slice to slow down.
00:20:20.000 And he didn't know that. 0.93
00:20:22.000 So then the next ride, he's doing them parallel, and he just fucking barrels down the hill. 0.69
00:20:29.000 And I think, uh-oh, he's going a little too fast. 0.51
00:20:32.000 This is worrying.
00:20:32.000 And then I just see him put his hands up like, say, the cops pointed a gun at you, that kind of hands up in the air.
00:20:37.000 And he's going, woo!
00:20:39.000 With his little lizard mask on, just barreling down the hill.
00:20:43.000 So much better and faster than you.
00:20:46.000 Ouch.
00:20:47.000 But he was very good.
00:20:49.000 It was stunning how we'd go on like a blue square.
00:20:53.000 And he was like, oh man, we have, uh, we got a kid here.
00:20:56.000 Didn't matter.
00:20:57.000 Yeah.
00:20:57.000 And there's times when he'd be barreling around a turn and you know, there'd be some, he'd be, he'd be, uh, doing a bit, a bit of a V to turn and, uh, he's hitting some bumps and you just look at his leg and it was vibrating going over the bumps cause he was going so fast.
00:21:11.000 And I was thinking, dude, you're going to bail.
00:21:14.000 Take it easy.
00:21:15.000 But on the way back, we looked up Okimo in the car Wikipedia, and it started in the 50s, scaled up from just a little thing that had those puma things that you put under your crotch.
00:21:28.000 It's just a one-person thing that pulls you up the hill.
00:21:32.000 I remember in Canada we had tea bars, and I was 11 years old, and I
00:21:38.000 I don't know why my parents were not really present at a lot of things.
00:21:41.000 Like, Scottish people, they just let you go. 1.00
00:21:44.000 My mother almost drowned when she was four years old because she fell in a pond.
00:21:49.000 Where were her parents?
00:21:50.000 She was rescued by some guy walking by.
00:21:53.000 Why was my four-year-old mother swimming in a pond probably about a mile from her house? 1.00
00:21:59.000 Like, I wouldn't let my seven-year-old out of my sight.
00:22:03.000 Anyway, um...
00:22:05.000 But yeah, we used to wander around the Bronx as kids, and imagine doing that?
00:22:09.000 Letting your kid walk around the Bronx until nighttime?
00:22:12.000 Yeah, you can't do that.
00:22:14.000 If I let my three kids out the front door and locked the door, and came by like an hour later, they'd be standing on the front porch.
00:22:21.000 The kids no longer have it in them.
00:22:23.000 We've removed that gene.
00:22:26.000 And I feel like the world's less dangerous than it was in the 90s.
00:22:28.000 Way more surveillance.
00:22:30.000 And that's why you have this obesity epidemic. 0.60
00:22:32.000 Because we're so fucking paranoid that we keep them indoors, feed them snacks, and they play Fortnite. 0.84
00:22:38.000 For eight hours at a time. 0.91
00:22:40.000 The activity change definitely contributes to... And it's really bad for the economy, because they're not getting their adventure glands developed, you know?
00:22:51.000 They're not getting into trouble, they're not getting into mischief.
00:22:53.000 Oh, that's another thing we used to do, is just go through the forest on skis.
00:22:56.000 You just make a sharp left and just go through the trees.
00:22:59.000 That's great!
00:23:00.000 There's a place like that called Platkill that's about three hours from here.
00:23:03.000 Oh, Platikill.
00:23:03.000 There's a Platikill?
00:23:05.000 With an E?
00:23:05.000 Platikill?
00:23:06.000 Yeah, yeah, that's close to me.
00:23:08.000 That was started by two ski instructors in the early 90s.
00:23:13.000 It went bankrupt, the hill.
00:23:15.000 They had a bad year.
00:23:15.000 Just like Okimo.
00:23:17.000 Okimo was started in the 50s.
00:23:18.000 They had the Puma lift.
00:23:20.000 I didn't finish my T-Bar story. 0.99
00:23:21.000 So the T-Bar flew out from underneath my ass, and then it's a T. It swung back like an upside-down pickaxe and knocked out my front teeth. 0.99
00:23:30.000 And I'm lying there crying with blood shooting out of my mouth. 0.99
00:23:35.000 So there's blood all over the snow.
00:23:37.000 It's extra gory, right?
00:23:38.000 Because it's white.
00:23:40.000 And because I'm white.
00:23:42.000 And people are coming by in the T-bar and going, are you okay?
00:23:46.000 Are you okay?
00:23:46.000 But they don't want to fuck up their ride.
00:23:48.000 So they just went by.
00:23:51.000 I swear, I'll never forget this.
00:23:52.000 It was, what, 40 years, 35 years ago.
00:23:56.000 I remember about 10 different couples just going, are you okay?
00:24:01.000 Well, I asked him if he's okay.
00:24:02.000 I'm not gonna fuck up my ride.
00:24:04.000 Or maybe that's the way it was in the early 80s.
00:24:05.000 People just didn't have feelings. 0.96
00:24:08.000 Eventually, one of the guys with the X on her back picks me up and takes me down and fucking puts my teeth back in or whatever they do. 1.00
00:24:15.000 Wow. 0.91
00:24:20.000 Okimo started in the 50s, it had just the Puma thing, and then in the 60s it had a chairlift.
00:24:25.000 In the 70s it had flooding and shitty snow and they didn't invest any money in snow machines and it went bankrupt.
00:24:33.000 That's one bad year that does it, right?
00:24:36.000 I don't know.
00:24:37.000 Maybe it was more than one.
00:24:38.000 But then it was bought, after it went bankrupt, and this couple souped it up.
00:24:45.000 I think they're called Muellers. 1.00
00:24:48.000 They souped it up and built it up into the number one ski hill for families, according to Parenting Magazine.
00:24:56.000 And I think they sold it to a massive conglomerate recently that owns all the hills. 0.98
00:25:00.000 Did you know that the fucking New York State owns ski hills in New York? 0.98
00:25:06.000 New York State owns ski hills? 1.00
00:25:08.000 The government.
00:25:09.000 Cuomo.
00:25:10.000 The government owns two ski hills.
00:25:12.000 Peak Resorts and Bel-Air.
00:25:14.000 Bel-Air?
00:25:15.000 Oh, Bel-Air.
00:25:15.000 Yeah, I know Bel-Air.
00:25:17.000 Last year, taxpayers spent $9.1 million on those hills.
00:25:23.000 They took it out of our money.
00:25:25.000 The hills should be free then! 0.99
00:25:27.000 And they built a gondola and they souped up the fucking place where everyone drinks. 0.99
00:25:33.000 Wow. 0.99
00:25:35.000 There's no loss of profit there, it's just all profit.
00:25:37.000 And how do other ski hills compete when you're up against the government?
00:25:40.000 It's infuriating.
00:25:41.000 Wow, that is crazy.
00:25:43.000 That's like McDonald's stomping out like a mom and pop store or something.
00:25:46.000 This is what all you have to know about New York.
00:25:48.000 Watch Gangs of New York.
00:25:49.000 That's New York today.
00:25:51.000 Boss Tweed is Cuomo is Bill de Blasio.
00:25:53.000 The corruption is deep. 1.00
00:25:56.000 All the cops have to bust their ass for their money, but their pensions are still insane. 0.99
00:26:00.000 120 grand a year for 40 years. 0.99
00:26:02.000 FDNY insane.
00:26:04.000 The guys who take your tickets, they have a five hour break in the middle of the day where they hang out at Grand Central in these little cots.
00:26:10.000 I mean, the MTA.
00:26:13.000 They have just a giant bank account with like 700 million dollars in it, and they keep saying, we need more money, we have to fix the L train.
00:26:22.000 They could not raise the price of a subway for seven years using that money, but no, they just hoard it.
00:26:28.000 Look at the, you know the tolls?
00:26:30.000 Robert Moses designed those tolls where the money is counted and processed underground, underneath where they take it, so they get to decide how much they
00:26:41.000 Siphon and how much they give to the bank.
00:26:43.000 It's this this state is deeply corrupt Here's a game.
00:26:47.000 I did once Go to Albany right not the town, but the the political staff there look up any single politician's name in Albany anyone at all put it in quotes and then put the word controversy next to it and I Totally guarantee you will have some embezzling some corruption scandal on every single politician there
00:27:11.000 Any hizzle.
00:27:12.000 So, they go bankrupt in the 70s, they get bought, and now they're awesome.
00:27:17.000 And that, that, so that was like a quarter century.
00:27:21.000 Those small-town local businessmen in Okemo, what's the town around there, Ludlow?
00:27:25.000 Ludlow, uh, is it?
00:27:27.000 Vermont.
00:27:28.000 Vermont.
00:27:29.000 Ludlow, Vermont. 0.99
00:27:30.000 These local businessmen bust their ass, they have kids, you know, their kids' entire life is owning Okemo. 0.99
00:27:36.000 They kept the name. 1.00
00:27:37.000 And then they're done, bankrupt, no legacy. 0.97
00:27:39.000 Now it's this massive hill, and people, the attitude with the average American, the average leftist, the average social democrat is, fucking rich white people owning this Okimo, dining out, just getting millions upon millions. 0.90
00:27:52.000 Yes, the people who own Okimo, well the corporation who owns Okimo now is doing well. 0.86
00:27:56.000 But every time you see a success, there is a mountain of failure behind it.
00:28:01.000 My estimate is, for entrepreneurs, one out of every 12 attempts
00:28:06.000 Look at Van's shoes! 0.99
00:28:08.000 Van's shoes is successful now.
00:28:09.000 There's only one guy from Van's, with the name Van in it, working there.
00:28:28.000 The rest all sold their shares because they were going bankrupt.
00:28:30.000 And he is the head of, like, events.
00:28:33.000 He makes probably, like, 200 grand a year or something.
00:28:35.000 He owns no stock.
00:28:37.000 Wow.
00:28:37.000 So Vans, one of the biggest shoe companies in the world, no Vans people get any Vans money.
00:28:43.000 They have one Vans employee.
00:28:45.000 The name Vans comes from Van, comes from the original founders.
00:28:49.000 Or this place, Platykill.
00:28:51.000 It also went bankrupt.
00:28:53.000 It went bankrupt in the early 90s.
00:28:55.000 Two ski instructors got a bunch of small business loans, found a bunch of rich families, and they bought it. 1.00
00:29:02.000 And they busted their ass. 0.99
00:29:03.000 And this guy, Vatjay, Laszlo Vatjay, sounds Indian, but he's white. 0.99
00:29:09.000 His thing was, we're not going bankrupt.
00:29:11.000 We're never going under.
00:29:13.000 So they rent it out in the summer to camping.
00:29:15.000 They have mountain biking there.
00:29:17.000 And then recently they do this thing where you can rent the entire mountain for four grand.
00:29:22.000 Wow.
00:29:22.000 That's not even that bad, is it?
00:29:23.000 No, it's not, dude.
00:29:24.000 Wow.
00:29:24.000 You just need a hundred people and that's 40 bucks each.
00:29:28.000 Wow.
00:29:29.000 And you own the hill, you own the lodge, you own everything.
00:29:31.000 That's awesome.
00:29:31.000 We could get a hundred people together, could we not?
00:29:34.000 Uh, yeah.
00:29:38.000 But I just thought, you know, reading about Okemo and Plattakill and seeing these horrible government-owned resorts, I just thought, ski hills are a great example of the lack of respect we have for entrepreneurs. 0.97
00:29:52.000 That Jose Alcoff guy where he's like, every rich person, kill them.
00:29:57.000 Yeah, but they weren't rich all the time, like a lot of it's like success stories. 0.97
00:30:01.000 Or there was that liberal author there, Jewish woman who, what the hell is her name? 1.00
00:30:07.000 She said, no one who has a million dollars earned it ethically.
00:30:12.000 There's no way you can earn a million and still be a moral person.
00:30:15.000 You're like, what about the biochemists that are sequencing DNA to cure cancer?
00:30:21.000 Who are they taking advantage of?
00:30:23.000 They don't have little kids building cell phones in China.
00:30:26.000 They're just in the lab all day curing cancer.
00:30:29.000 How about a thank you?
00:30:32.000 Yeah, a lot of that money's earned.
00:30:33.000 I mean, they should, honestly, what they should be talking about is YouTubers, like the paradox of value of entertainment, people that get paid for entertainment compared to people that keep the world running.
00:30:45.000 Yeah, but it is hard to entertain.
00:30:51.000 Jimmy Kimmel is a uniquely talented person, but actors don't deserve any money.
00:30:57.000 I don't know why famous people exist.
00:30:59.000 There's a demand for it, which is weird.
00:31:02.000 I don't understand the demand.
00:31:03.000 I don't want, like you look at Tom Hanks in Castaway and half of your brain, the whole movie is going, oh that's Tom Hanks, he has a house in Beverly Hills, he's been married to his wife for a long time.
00:31:12.000 He's doing a good job.
00:31:13.000 I saw a picture of him in People Magazine going to get a coffee.
00:31:16.000 He's not abandoned on a desert island.
00:31:19.000 Every good scene you're like, wow he's nailing it.
00:31:22.000 He's nailing, faking this.
00:31:23.000 It keeps like a third of your brain in the making of the movie.
00:31:27.000 You're like, oh, that's good production.
00:31:28.000 Oh, they got lighting great in that.
00:31:30.000 And you can't leave because you recognize the guy.
00:31:32.000 Why don't they just have, acting is the easiest thing in the world.
00:31:35.000 If you fuck up the line, the director says, no, let's try it again.
00:31:38.000 And you have infinite chances to get the line right.
00:31:41.000 You don't even have to memorize it.
00:31:42.000 When we did How to Be a Man, I wouldn't memorize my lines because I usually have them by the third take.
00:31:48.000 So I'd learn it on the set.
00:31:50.000 It was a little arduous for the director, but that's not my problem.
00:31:53.000 It's like when people say, don't drink when you're getting a tattoo because it makes your blood thin, and that's harder for the tattooist.
00:31:58.000 Yeah, postmen work in the rain.
00:32:00.000 You can work with some runny blood, dude.
00:32:02.000 It's not my problem.
00:32:03.000 Sorry.
00:32:04.000 It's like when people put their crumpled up tissues on the plate and desecrate the meal they just made.
00:32:09.000 Like, you might as well put your cigarette out in a fish eye.
00:32:11.000 I just learned this.
00:32:12.000 I always say, don't do that.
00:32:13.000 And they go, it's easier for the waiter.
00:32:15.000 I go, people work in sewers.
00:32:16.000 You don't need to make it easier for the waiter.
00:32:18.000 I don't want to see a pile of garbage in a plate that I just ate in.
00:32:21.000 It doesn't necessarily make it easy for the busboy or waiter, by the way.
00:32:25.000 Yeah, it saves him what, a second?
00:32:26.000 Well, and then, and then when you, when you're actually washing dishes, you have to, like, scrape that off, and if there's a fucking fork on there, then you have to, like, fish that, you have to fish out the garbage from the keepables. 0.99
00:32:35.000 Like, if there's a spoon and a fork on there, you're like, oh shit, I just threw away a spoon and a fork, because there's garbage in the goddamn thing. 0.99
00:32:39.000 You just taught me that. 1.00
00:32:40.000 I totally agree, and it's like desecrating your meal.
00:32:43.000 It's like, uh...
00:32:45.000 Yeah, it's like you said, well, like putting a cigarette out on a fish eye.
00:32:48.000 That's an example I always use because every time I bring it up with people, they think it's insane.
00:32:52.000 I learned it from a professional chef girlfriend I had, and my wife thinks it's an affectation that I've clung to, but it's, you have to have some, this goes back to this whole thing about respect.
00:33:01.000 Can we have some reverence, please?
00:33:03.000 You have so much reverence for myths, like you carry around water everywhere and you have a helmet on your head, but you don't have any reverence for real things like entrepreneurs.
00:33:13.000 Like men. 0.57
00:33:14.000 I think that this helmet thing, it's emasculating. 0.96
00:33:17.000 It's emasculating to see a dad with his helmet on because he's scared of bonking his noggin. 0.99
00:33:22.000 He looks like such a cuck. 1.00
00:33:25.000 You look like such a pussy as a grown man. 1.00
00:33:27.000 You're supposed to be running a family. 1.00
00:33:28.000 I don't wear a seatbelt, by the way.
00:33:30.000 I noticed that.
00:33:30.000 That's another.
00:33:32.000 Uh, you're, you're a man, you're running a family and you're petrified of bonking your head on a tree.
00:33:38.000 That doesn't look masculine.
00:33:39.000 This is another thing that's going on with, with the, all this hysteria around safety and, and you know, not letting the kids play is there's a real fear of male sexuality.
00:33:50.000 For example, basketball shorts.
00:33:53.000 I'm watching basketball the other day and they're wearing frocks.
00:33:57.000 Their shorts are so huge that they look like Amish dresses on their legs, like they flow in the breeze. 0.96
00:34:05.000 Yeah. 0.52
00:34:06.000 And it's a fear of, of homosexuality really is what it comes down to.
00:34:11.000 In the, I know this is a stretch, so hear me out.
00:34:13.000 In the eighties, we would wear short shorts.
00:34:15.000 Now I would argue maybe the eighties was a little too sexual for men because we would be little kids.
00:34:20.000 And we'd think we were sexy, like we'd be nine and we'd be posing with feathered hair and we'd have muscle tees where you could see our abs and we'd be posing super sexy in photos because we're super hot and we love chicks.
00:34:33.000 So little kids should not be sexy.
00:34:36.000 They should not be posing in a hot way. 0.97
00:34:40.000 You need pubes to pose in a sexual way. 1.00
00:34:42.000 So, okay, the eighties overdid it.
00:34:44.000 But by the time we were teenagers,
00:34:46.000 We like, we thought we were hot and we'd have feathered hair.
00:34:49.000 We'd have short shorts on with our, they were so short that the pockets could be seen coming out the bottom and you'd be showing off your bulge.
00:34:56.000 And then you'd have like a leather wristband that was just there to be hot.
00:35:01.000 And you were like, when you would go to pick up a chick, it wasn't like, can I please be with you?
00:35:04.000 You're like, Hey, you want some of this?
00:35:06.000 Yeah.
00:35:06.000 I'm S I'm a sexy teen.
00:35:08.000 What's up?
00:35:09.000 Let's go for a ride in my parents' car.
00:35:11.000 And then you cut to today and it's all like, I'm not gay, I'm not sexual, I'm wearing a gown on my legs, I don't want you to see my legs. 0.58
00:35:19.000 Why not? 0.97
00:35:20.000 Men's legs are one of the sexiest things about them. 0.98
00:35:24.000 You should see my legs. 0.87
00:35:25.000 They look like Superman's.
00:35:27.000 I have the exact... I'm not bananas about my upper body, but my lower body could be in Marvel comics.
00:35:32.000 And that includes my cock. 0.98
00:35:35.000 Yeah, you know, it's like that baggy clothes trend started with the JNCO jeans and then like the baggy shorts like hip-hop culture is all baggy and stuff like that. 0.99
00:35:43.000 Yeah, I think that's... It's to obscure the male form, perhaps.
00:35:45.000 Well, I think the origin of baggy jeans was...
00:35:49.000 Was prison.
00:35:50.000 Because you'd have those oversized uniforms that were oversized because it's cheaper just to make it too big. 0.74
00:35:55.000 But I think that the long shorts going below your knees is like, I'm not a fag. 1.00
00:35:59.000 I'm no fag. 0.97
00:36:01.000 Look at, these are long. 0.97
00:36:03.000 I'm not, I don't think I'm sexy.
00:36:04.000 That absolutely is what people think too, because if you wear, I have a pair of shorts
00:36:08.000 And they come up above the knee, and I get comments on it the whole day.
00:36:13.000 And they just fit well.
00:36:15.000 You can send them to me, because I spoke to the leaders of the gay community, and I said, we want to take short shorts back. 1.00
00:36:21.000 And they said, fine.
00:36:22.000 I don't even like them anymore.
00:36:23.000 And they were available.
00:36:25.000 It was just like a ski hill.
00:36:27.000 They were going into foreclosure in the gay community, and I bought them for next to nothing. 0.98
00:36:31.000 That's not bad.
00:36:32.000 Oh, I'm going to wear them then, if you don't mind.
00:36:34.000 Show off your bulge.
00:36:34.000 I'm just going to keep them.
00:36:34.000 Yes, wear them.
00:36:35.000 They're salmon colored, though.
00:36:38.000 It looks like you have no pants on.
00:36:40.000 I'm not salmon-skinned.
00:36:42.000 I'm salmon-appetited.
00:36:44.000 Yeah, you're yellow.
00:36:45.000 Yes.
00:36:46.000 You know, two other examples of this emasculating going on.
00:36:50.000 One, I've noticed these men who are bald, especially if they're on TV and they're political pundits, they all have to have had their head shaved that day.
00:36:58.000 It's bald shaming, is what it is. 0.98
00:37:01.000 And when I was young, yes, there was toupees and stuff and wigs, but there was also a large contingent of bald men that were just like, I'm fucking bald, yeah? 0.98
00:37:07.000 What are you gonna do about it? 0.95
00:37:09.000 They weren't ashamed of themselves.
00:37:11.000 And you look at that guy on Mary Tyler Moore, the show, and he, bald guys when I was a kid would grow out the sides a bit.
00:37:17.000 And they'd just go, yeah, I was a seven, then I went bald, now I'm a six. 0.97
00:37:21.000 I'm only one point down, big fucking deal. 0.98
00:37:23.000 I'm already married anyway. 0.99
00:37:24.000 And they were proud of it.
00:37:25.000 But today, there's so much shame.
00:37:27.000 In being bald, that you look at anyone on Fox News or CNN and you can see like the razor stubble from that morning. 0.99
00:37:34.000 A hundred percent of them are completely fucking bald because they're so ashamed of themselves. 0.98
00:37:40.000 And it's, it's more anti-masculine. 0.99
00:37:44.000 Same with manscaping and having to shave your chest and trying to have abs.
00:37:48.000 You know, you be proud of yourself.
00:37:51.000 My final example of this demasculating, emasculating culture is when professional ball players, or yeah, football, basketball, baseball, when they're forced to wear pink to raise awareness for breast cancer.
00:38:08.000 If you don't know about breast cancer, you are a child, or you're a mental patient, or you have an IQ below 60 and we can't help you anyway. 0.99
00:38:18.000 You're a vegetable. 1.00
00:38:19.000 Terry Shivo, basically. 0.96
00:38:20.000 You're on a feeding tube. 1.00
00:38:22.000 Who the fuck doesn't know about breast cancer? 1.00
00:38:24.000 And what are you raising awareness for? 0.99
00:38:27.000 It's doing great. 0.99
00:38:28.000 By the way, as a side note, even these stupid marathons and shit where you raise $10,000 and, I did a walk for breast cancer. 1.00
00:38:28.000 Even 1.00
00:38:35.000 It's a multi-trillion dollar industry.
00:38:38.000 It doesn't need your $10,000.
00:38:41.000 It's not going broke.
00:38:42.000 Everyone wants to cure it because it kills something like 40,000 women a year. 1.00
00:38:47.000 We're all on the same page with breast cancer and the way they do it up too, it seems like it's a
00:38:54.000 It's like, it's sort of like hate has no home here signs, where they're basically calling you a racist and they're virtue signaling.
00:39:00.000 Yeah, they hold them hostage.
00:39:03.000 I'm better than you.
00:39:04.000 They hold the players hostage.
00:39:05.000 Yeah.
00:39:05.000 And they go, what are you not going to wear this?
00:39:06.000 You should put this sign on your lawn or you're racist.
00:39:08.000 It's like when people call white people racist, they say, how high?
00:39:11.000 Like they immediately won't start jumping around.
00:39:13.000 It's like, it's sort of like in the old Westerns where they shoot at the other guy's feet to make them dance. 0.81
00:39:18.000 They shoot the allegation racist at white people to make them do a little dance. 0.89
00:39:21.000 And they love doing that dance.
00:39:24.000 But I feel like with the ballplayers, it's also like a little, yeah, go put on your pink.
00:39:27.000 Like I saw this catcher once, I think it was the Mets, and I forget his name, but you should have seen the elaborate pink costume they forced him to wear.
00:39:38.000 Fluorescent pink on his chest plate thingy, his glove, his socks, his shoes, his hat had all these pink accents.
00:39:47.000 They were basically dressing him up in drag.
00:39:50.000 And I couldn't help but think it was, there was some malicious intent there.
00:39:54.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:39:55.000 It was kind of a, fuck you, like, look what I did. 1.00
00:39:57.000 Hey, big, strong, uh, sorry to cut you off. 1.00
00:39:58.000 Yeah, but hey, big, strong, uh, athlete guy who's the symbol of masculine, like peak masculinity.
00:40:05.000 And it's also interesting that they attack baseball too.
00:40:08.000 And the Mets, because you think of the 80s Mets, and it's nails, and it's cocaine, and it's cigarettes, and it's guys doing coke in between innings, and getting drunk, and getting arrested for gambling. 0.93
00:40:19.000 It was a real man's game where that guy, who's that guy who says, I shit my pants last night?
00:40:23.000 I know who you're talking about. 0.95
00:40:25.000 The guy, the Pintar guy.
00:40:26.000 What the hell's his name?
00:40:29.000 He's the best guy ever.
00:40:33.000 He is George Brett.
00:40:35.000 George Brett.
00:40:35.000 George Brett is the quintessential man.
00:40:38.000 Like a guy who goes up to you while you're stretching and goes, shit my pants last night. 0.99
00:40:45.000 Can't wait to tell you. 0.98
00:40:46.000 I'm good for those about once a year.
00:40:48.000 What about you guys?
00:40:48.000 You said that in the thing, I'm good for those?
00:40:51.000 That is a real man.
00:40:52.000 You can count on me to do that about once a year.
00:40:55.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:40:55.000 And then the bitches, and I'm not saying they're male or female, um, they want to come up and they go, yeah, let's humiliate him. 0.99
00:41:02.000 Let's, let's humiliate Travis Darno. 1.00
00:41:04.000 That's who it was.
00:41:04.000 Darno.
00:41:05.000 Let's humiliate Darno and get him in a little pink costume. 1.00
00:41:09.000 And it's all tied in together here, folks.
00:41:13.000 This anti-entrepreneur stuff, this lack of rums for the entrepreneur is actually anti-male.
00:41:20.000 And this dressing up Travis Darnot in a little pink costume isn't about breast cancer.
00:41:24.000 It's about humiliation.
00:41:25.000 And convincing all these men that they need helmets or they're going to bonk their noggin and making them scared of their own shadow is all about demasculinizing?
00:41:35.000 What's the word?
00:41:35.000 I think emasculate.
00:41:36.000 Emasculating them, yeah.
00:41:38.000 It's all about emasculating them. 0.53
00:41:39.000 And I was talking to Anthony Comey about this the other day and I said, we were talking about GM.
00:41:44.000 They were the first corporation to hire a female CEO and a female CFO. 0.90
00:41:50.000 And they are going bankrupt.
00:41:52.000 They lost 400,000 jobs, I believe, and promptly had to shut down the Chevy Volt.
00:41:58.000 They're not manufacturing that anymore.
00:41:59.000 By the way, this is after Trump brought it to America.
00:42:02.000 Trump brings it to America, we give it to two chicks to handle, and it promptly goes under. 0.67
00:42:06.000 That is a huge... I mean, they did pretty good for a long time, that GM.
00:42:11.000 Yeah, they did.
00:42:12.000 Obama bailed them out, right?
00:42:14.000 And then we give it over to chicks. 1.00
00:42:16.000 Oh boy.
00:42:16.000 And I'm sorry, chicks, but you tend, there's exceptions.
00:42:20.000 Barbara Corcoran is amazing.
00:42:22.000 Maggie Thatcher was the best prime minister Britain ever had.
00:42:25.000 But for the most part, they're too agreeable in the workforce and they're too sensitive. 0.96
00:42:31.000 Like fucking Gretchen Carlson, whoever it was, getting $20 million because Roger Ailes said, if you would have slept with me, you'd be doing way better here. 1.00
00:42:38.000 Is that- you deserve 20 million dollars? 0.99
00:42:40.000 You know how many times homos have said that to me when I worked in advertising? 1.00
00:42:44.000 All the time. 1.00
00:42:44.000 You know, if you would let me suck you off, you could have this contract. 1.00
00:42:47.000 You know what I do when someone says that to me in the workforce? 0.99
00:42:50.000 I go, well, I guess we won't be having that contract then. 1.00
00:42:53.000 And I could easily go out for beers with that guy and go, you crazy homo. 1.00
00:42:57.000 You're never going to blow me. 1.00
00:42:58.000 Let's drop it.
00:43:00.000 I can take it. 0.97
00:43:02.000 The last thing that would occur to me would be to sue some homo for hitting on me in the workplace. 1.00
00:43:07.000 You know, there was a water park. 0.93
00:43:10.000 Where a kid was decapitated and his parents got 20 million.
00:43:14.000 So having your child decapitated is as bad as Roger Ailes hitting on you, according to this economy.
00:43:23.000 So I was saying to Kumi, I go, he goes, I tell him that and he goes, when are they going to realize that men and women are different?
00:43:29.000 And I said to him, they know men and women are different.
00:43:32.000 They think women are better. 1.00
00:43:34.000 And it reminded me of this tweet from George Takei.
00:43:38.000 Oh my. 0.98
00:43:39.000 Another gay Asian. 1.00
00:43:41.000 Oh, how dare you? 0.99
00:43:43.000 I am not Asian.
00:43:45.000 This is George Takei.
00:43:48.000 Oh my. 0.59
00:43:48.000 That's like when people call me a racist, transphobic, Islamophobe. 0.59
00:43:53.000 I go, I'm not racist.
00:43:55.000 Yeah.
00:43:58.000 At this point people, I can't do a very good George Takei.
00:44:01.000 Oh my.
00:44:01.000 Do you have the transcript?
00:44:02.000 Yeah.
00:44:02.000 I can read it.
00:44:06.000 At this point, people should stop asking whether they would ever vote for a woman.
00:44:10.000 Men so far have led the world to the brink of ruination.
00:44:13.000 Ruination?
00:44:22.000 And into more wars and conflicts than we can count.
00:44:24.000 At this point, people really should be asking whether they should vote for another man.
00:44:28.000 Oh my.
00:44:29.000 Oh my. 1.00
00:44:30.000 He's such a, like a fucking velvety weirdo. 1.00
00:44:34.000 I hate that argument too. 1.00
00:44:35.000 He's a creep. 0.99
00:44:36.000 It's like, yeah, white men were Nazis. 0.99
00:44:40.000 Men also wiped out the Nazis. 0.97
00:44:42.000 Yeah, great point.
00:44:43.000 And men started slavery.
00:44:45.000 Men ended slavery. 1.00
00:44:46.000 We just did a lot of shit. 0.99
00:44:48.000 When you're doing a lot of stuff, you're going to be doing good and bad stuff. 1.00
00:44:51.000 Sid, you remember when we were watching Ballad of Buster Scruggs?
00:44:54.000 Yes.
00:44:55.000 And then there's the Tom Waits part where he's gold, he's gold digging, digging for gold.
00:45:00.000 Yeah.
00:45:01.000 And it's like, he's 50 to 60 years old.
00:45:04.000 And, uh, that is the, that is the archetype of the, of the prospector in the wild west and old guy.
00:45:09.000 And then that you have to dig. 1.00
00:45:11.000 You have to hunch your back over and fuck it. 1.00
00:45:13.000 Could you ever picture a woman of that age or even like a 30 year old woman doing that? 1.00
00:45:17.000 Men back then would just go like 15 states over and just start a new job.
00:45:23.000 They would start a new career.
00:45:25.000 We had grit and we had mobility back then.
00:45:28.000 And I think this anti-entrepreneur thing and this obsession with safety is linked to a hatred of men.
00:45:34.000 And they think women are better, and they want... Mark Ruffalo! 1.00
00:45:38.000 Okay, you know this fake controversy with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, where there's some video that surfaced of her dancing when she was in college? 0.68
00:45:48.000 I think one Twitter person said, this is gay, 0.94
00:45:51.000 Or lame or something. 0.99
00:45:52.000 And then it became, Republicans can't handle that Cortez used to dance.
00:45:56.000 And then she fights back at this nonexistent controversy by doing an updated dancing video. 1.00
00:46:01.000 I'll dance if I want to, Republicans. 0.99
00:46:04.000 No one gives a shit that you danced in college. 0.99
00:46:06.000 Are you serious? 0.98
00:46:07.000 So, Mark Ruffalo is celebrating her comeback at all the people who hate that she once danced.
00:46:14.000 I have deuce chills.
00:46:15.000 I know.
00:46:15.000 Do they think this is Footloose?
00:46:18.000 They've turned us into the Grinch.
00:46:20.000 I'm going to celebrate Christmas, Republicans.
00:46:22.000 Actually, it's Republicans that have to celebrate Christmas with a vengeance.
00:46:26.000 But Mark Ruffalo goes, looking forward to watching AOC dance all over her critics and the GOP these next two years.
00:46:34.000 And then he has a dancing symbol.
00:46:35.000 This is Mark Ruffalo, by the way, who said, waving goodbye to the patriarchy before the midterms, and in his hand was a white handkerchief.
00:46:44.000 That is the universal symbol of surrender.
00:46:47.000 And we have a culture now that is enthusiastically surrendering itself to the matriarchy. 1.00
00:46:55.000 Guys, we had a matriarchy before. 1.00
00:46:57.000 Pre-Christianity. 0.80
00:46:58.000 It was called paganism.
00:46:59.000 You know what they did?
00:47:00.000 They threw babies in fires and sacrificed them to the gods.
00:47:03.000 They sacrificed virgins to the gods.
00:47:05.000 They were not sweeties.
00:47:07.000 I'm sorry.
00:47:08.000 It's not all gonna be peaches and cream.
00:47:14.000 I was also going to briefly mention Great Wolf Lodge, which is this incredible chain of water parks that I always go to with the family and just look around in awe of the hard work that went in.
00:47:25.000 It was started by two brothers in Madison, Wisconsin, who had had a bunch of failures at restaurants and stuff.
00:47:30.000 They eventually made a pretty good water park.
00:47:32.000 It was bought a few years later.
00:47:33.000 And then these other two guys,
00:47:36.000 Forget their names.
00:47:37.000 Bruce Naviseer and Mark Baccaro bought it and poured money into it.
00:47:42.000 Oh, that's the other thing about Platykil, too.
00:47:43.000 They took all their profits and they poured them in to the business.
00:47:47.000 So one of the reasons Platykil has such great snow all the time is that they always took their profits and invested it in new snow grooming machines.
00:47:55.000 Mmm, and that's what these guys did with Great Wolf Lodge They kept taking the money and making more chains and better and they're incredible quality you these I don't know how they afford the insurance but you are going and take a football field and Fold it into a cone and that is what you're going into in this one thing where you you go down the edges so hard that you come up and you think you're gonna fall flat on your face like it's it's a quarter mile of Height, it's amazing. 0.94
00:48:18.000 Damn and so fucking fun and You know men built that 0.94
00:48:26.000 And we just can't wait to give the reins to the female CFO of GM. 1.00
00:48:31.000 You know what I find funny?
00:48:33.000 That we're on the lift together, and you look down there at the guys working on the... They're building, like, I guess... They're building a half-pipe for snowboarders.
00:48:42.000 And they got a big snow bulldozer, the equivalent of that, and there's one guy just smoking a cigarette, and you're like, you're just sitting there, I think I want to start smoking cigarettes.
00:48:51.000 Like, it looks cool.
00:48:52.000 It was a good commercial for smoking.
00:48:54.000 It was.
00:48:54.000 I noticed that too.
00:48:55.000 Your head darted off and I was like, I wonder what that was about.
00:48:58.000 Didn't ask you.
00:48:59.000 And later on you're like, you know what?
00:49:01.000 Smoking's not all so bad, huh? 1.00
00:49:04.000 You better not start smoking at fucking your age. 1.00
00:49:07.000 No, look, let's clarify something here. 1.00
00:49:09.000 We're obviously not saying women don't belong in the workforce. 0.99
00:49:12.000 Women are incapable. 1.00
00:49:14.000 The problem is when you put them there because they're women and not for any other reason. 1.00
00:49:18.000 If women were great, better than men at construction, no one has a problem with them working construction. 1.00
00:49:24.000 It's when they're there to fill some sort of quota.
00:49:26.000 And you look at the Cortez in the house now, taking selfies of her with the first Muslim senator and the first black attorney general. 1.00
00:49:35.000 This first woman that and this first visible minority this and the first Palestinian we have a Palestinian who clearly hates Trump because he loves Israel saying I'm gonna impeach that motherfucker and Cortez you're going I got your back Trump's a racist she said a last night on 60 minutes Trump is a racist you're a fucking teenager you sound like me when I had leopard skin hair in high school 1.00
00:49:58.000 And I thought her taking selfies is just such a perfect example of that, those midterms. 1.00
00:50:03.000 It had nothing to do with policy.
00:50:05.000 No one can name any of their policies.
00:50:06.000 In fact, no one can name any DNC policy.
00:50:09.000 I guess they want universal healthcare though.
00:50:10.000 They seem to not talk about it much.
00:50:13.000 Their only policy is impeach Trump.
00:50:16.000 And the next election, the only policy is going to be we, America's become racist.
00:50:22.000 Hate clearly has no home here. 0.77
00:50:23.000 So let's get rid of Trump because he's the one who made it racist. 1.00
00:50:26.000 That is imbecilic, if that's a term. 1.00
00:50:31.000 That is just so stupid, and anyone who's walked outside knows it's not true. 1.00
00:50:36.000 Yeah, but hate crimes are on the rise. 1.00
00:50:38.000 No, they're not.
00:50:40.000 Hate crime hoaxes are on the rise.
00:50:42.000 Yeah, but have you seen the Southern Poverty Law Center's hate map?
00:50:45.000 Yeah, I have. 0.97
00:50:45.000 It's ridiculous. 0.97
00:50:47.000 It doesn't make any sense. 0.98
00:50:50.000 Go outside.
00:50:51.000 You know what? 0.95
00:50:52.000 Start telling people you're a white nationalist. 1.00
00:50:54.000 Start telling people that you want blacks to go back to Africa and you think Jews control everything. 0.99
00:50:58.000 See how popular you are. 0.98
00:51:00.000 See how many people go, yeah, me too, that's cool.
00:51:03.000 You're going to become a pariah.
00:51:05.000 If it was normal, then it wouldn't be the end of your career to be accused of it.
00:51:09.000 Ever think of that minor detail?
00:51:13.000 Anyway.
00:51:13.000 Truth.
00:51:15.000 That's enough truth bombs for one bathtub.
00:51:20.000 No, everything is linked here though.
00:51:22.000 And I remember, it's an unfortunate person to reference as a pro-lifer, but I remember Margaret Sanger.
00:51:29.000 Said she would just walk outside sometimes and look at these incredible machines men built.
00:51:34.000 And that's what we should be doing when we walk down the street and we see these buildings.
00:51:38.000 Have some reverence.
00:51:38.000 Yes, they're mostly made by men.
00:51:40.000 So what? 1.00
00:51:42.000 Revere their creations, revere the risks they took and stop being such a pussy with your water bottle and your helmet. 1.00
00:51:49.000 Can we get back to the 80s, please? 0.99
00:51:51.000 That's what really what, uh, everyone says that I want to go back to some sort of Victorian era of Women in the Kitchen. 1.00
00:51:57.000 No, Make America Great Again doesn't mean the 1800s.
00:52:00.000 It means 1984.
00:52:00.000 Oh, wait, that's a bad year.
00:52:04.000 Orwell ruined that one.
00:52:06.000 It means 1983.
00:52:06.000 Right before that.
00:52:10.000 Pre-Orwell.
00:52:12.000 Is that what he wrote that book, 1984?
00:52:14.000 He pounded it out really fast.
00:52:15.000 Yeah, right?
00:52:16.000 That's funny.
00:52:17.000 Oh, that's funny.
00:52:18.000 I think it was the 50s.
00:52:19.000 No, we just want to go back to the 80s.
00:52:21.000 We want to go back to jet skis and mullets and wraparound shades and kids playing outside, kids skinning their knee and not going to the doctor, no one needing a bottle of water in their purse, no one needing to wear a helmet, and respecting people who were rich.
00:52:36.000 You know, in the 80s you saw someone in a Corvette or a Lamborghini or something and you went, whoa, that dude's got a lot of money, awesome.
00:52:42.000 Now it's seen as gauche.
00:52:43.000 Now you have rich people puttering around in a Prius because they're so ashamed of their wealth.
00:52:49.000 That's not what America's based on.
00:52:52.000 It's based on whoever's good, whoever's good enough gets to the top.
00:52:58.000 Yes, that can mean hundreds of millions.
00:53:00.000 And by the way, one other thing too, Cortez wants people above 10 million to be taxed.
00:53:05.000 So does Ann Coulter.
00:53:07.000 I saw that, yeah.
00:53:09.000 Everyone thinks that's new.
00:53:10.000 I remember her and Lou Dobbs in the green room at Fox arguing about that.
00:53:14.000 And he said, I can't believe Ann Coulter is asking for new tax.
00:53:17.000 That was like six years ago.
00:53:19.000 And she appeared on a show after to discuss it.
00:53:21.000 But she's always been for taxes for the very, very rich. 1.00
00:53:23.000 No one's against that, you dumbasses. 0.96
00:53:25.000 If the media was equally, it was like fair, across the board they'd be like, Ocasio-Cortez parrots Ann Coulter's financial ideas. 0.98
00:53:33.000 Rips off Ann Coulter's economic plan.
00:53:35.000 Yeah, interesting.
00:53:36.000 Alright, so yeah. 0.99
00:53:38.000 More reverence, less pussies. 1.00
00:53:40.000 Goodbye. 1.00