In this episode, we talk about how to have the perfect life you ve always dreamed of, and how to actually live it. We talk about being born, how to be a good parent, and why you should never get married when you re a newborn baby.
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:00:58.000We come out too early, which is why a lot of tribes and more primitive cultures
00:01:07.000Uh, and this isn't a primitive thing to do.
00:01:09.000We'll wear a papoose, and they'll always have their baby with them at all times, because you kind of are still pregnant.
00:01:15.000And that, that's why, by the way, when you're holding a baby and you're trying to keep them from crying, you go, you sort of move around, like side to side, bouncing, right?
00:02:52.000But your parents should be together and, uh, they should be, they should love each other and, and you should know they're going to stay together.
00:03:03.000That I think is the number one factor on how successful you're going to be.
00:03:07.000Outside of like people say, um, what do they say?
00:03:10.000They say IQ, um, courage and network, which the way we say that here on this show is
00:03:23.000We say balls wait brains balls and friends Well, we go we were to name our radio station BB FM because it's it's it's brains balls and friends motherfucker Yeah, but I think that um, I think the network thing comes kind of naturally if you have courage and you're smart because you're just your name gets out there and then people come to you and
00:05:02.000By your actual mom, there's something, I don't know, strange.
00:05:06.000Barbara Ehrenreich has a good book called A Global Woman where she talks about these kids who are raised more by nannies, by strangers, than they are by their own mothers.
00:05:15.000And then these nannies, they're not seeing their kids back in the Philippines.
00:05:21.000So these poor countries are outsourcing love.
00:05:25.000And these nannies, they fall in love with the baby.
00:05:30.000Like, they love the baby more than their own kids.
00:05:33.000And then, the next thing you know, the kid has a better relationship with the nanny than the mom.
00:06:06.000And her contention is, sorry I have cold medicine today, so you may just want to speed this up on your podcast listening device and it'll be a normal paced podcast.
00:06:16.000But her contention is, yeah, I'm a businesswoman, I don't see my kids from Monday to Thursday, but when they see me on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, they get lots of mom.
00:06:46.000I think a cool idea with a kid is to have a special room where you go, when we're in this room and you have a confession to tell me, you can't get in trouble for it.
00:06:56.000So say you stole something at school and you're in big, big trouble and you're scared to tell me, then you can come into this room and it's the magic room.
00:07:06.000And you know when that's especially handy?
00:07:09.000If a young kid is getting molested, a lot of them think it's their fault and they're going to get in trouble because that's usually what the predator says to them.
00:11:17.000But Shep Smith said, maybe you can find it, but he said something like, they'd be more likely to give her a blowjob than a... And then he had to correct himself and he said, I'm very sorry I said that.
00:12:17.000Maybe she did have a racist word in her head floating around, and it was probably floating around in there as, never ever say this word under any circumstances.
00:12:48.000So in their scenario, the ones ruining him, right?
00:12:52.000They're saying that he's on his show, and he's just like, yeah, so, it's gonna be raining a lot, especially downtown, you know, near Dr. Martin Luther Kuhn King Park.
00:14:00.000Or there was the guy, the writer for ESPN who was talking about Jeremy Lin and he mentioned something about their team's chink in the armor.
00:14:09.000But he, basically he was fired for not being racist because it never occurred to him to call Jeremy Lin a chink.
00:14:20.000He just meant, and he'd used chink in the army a million times, so for not seeing it,
00:15:14.000And you know what else it could have been?
00:15:18.000He could have heard a horrible joke where they called him Dr. Martin Luther Kuhn and he could have said, that's disgusting, don't ever say that around me again.
00:16:14.000Um, but the other one is, well, do we, like, I have to, when you have people going over your border illegally, like, let's, take America out of it.
00:16:39.000We can't have kids in an adult prison or holding cell.
00:16:43.000So we separate and the kids go to a childcare thing.
00:16:48.000What if someone's dealing coke and they don't have any other family and it's just a guy and his kid and they go selling coke and we catch him, we arrest him.
00:18:48.000It pissed me off, like, how you see, like, the edited... He worked on these, like, After Effects, like, little bumpers, and they just edited everything out.
00:19:12.000You know, there was one case of someone sneaking secret codes, and it was a cartoonist for, I think, Marvel.
00:19:19.000And there was a normal, I don't think it was like, Muslim man.
00:19:24.000But the illustrator was, and he was putting in these numeric codes, like the address of a building would be some reference to the Quran.
00:19:34.000I mean, it wasn't trying to radicalize kids or anything, but that's the only time I can think of someone... Yeah, Marvel fired an artist over hidden messages in a comic.
00:19:53.000Well, the article was 2017, but in 2001 that's when that happened.
00:19:57.000Oh, he was doing it in 2001 and they noticed it five years later.
00:20:02.000Various numbers and symbols in reference to a controversy in the Syaf's home of country of Indonesia involving Christian governor of Jakarta who claimed his opponents were misusing a verse from the Quran.
00:20:43.000Chicken nuggets, fries, they don't really have, I know Jerry Seinfeld's wife did this big book on how to trick them into eating vegetables.
00:20:51.000As long as they're not obese, or starving, I don't really care too much about food.
00:20:58.000Like, half the time they won't eat their dinner and then I'll see them eating those goldfish or something later on, or popcorn.
00:21:05.000And the way that so much food today is made from corn anyway, like McDonald's hamburgers I think, well they've got soy in them, but then the buns have tons of corn.
00:21:42.000If your girl's a tomboy, I don't think, I shouldn't say that he's going to grow up gay or she's going to grow up to be a lesbian, but there's a chance of that and you may notice it early and I would totally and utterly ignore it.
00:21:55.000If they're getting bullied in school that's another thing, but I've always said one of your goals with having kids and as far as knowing about all the things we fight about, you want to prolong the Santa thing for as long as possible?
00:22:09.000You want them to not know what race is.
00:22:13.000Here's a great, if your son says, it's weird how a lot of my friends have black skin.
00:22:18.000Why do all my friends have black skin?
00:22:23.000You know, not because your friends, your kid hangs out with black people, but because he's not familiar with all the terms and he just goes, wow, that guy is darker and his hair is curlier than my other friends.
00:22:34.000So you've removed race from the equation and he just sees people as people.
00:23:35.000Blood rushes to your penis, which then becomes pretty much, uh, as hard as, well, not at my age, but it used to be called a wood for a good reason.
00:24:27.000But if your kids ask that, and they might ask around seven or eight, this is what you say.
00:24:34.000You say, the daddy gives the mommy, the daddy gives the mommy something from, they hug, and the daddy gives the mommy something from his body that makes her able to have a baby.
00:24:46.000And then I think they sort of go, uh, that sounds fucking freaky, I'm going to drop it.
00:27:09.000So, we're getting a gang together at this point.
00:27:13.000We got about five kids and we've been following the toddler, but ideally this toddler who's five has a seven-year-old, an eight, nine-year-old, a ten, eleven-year-old, maybe even a
00:27:24.00012 13 year old so that's a good little crew you got there and even on a rainy day It's gonna be kind of fun doing stuff hide-and-seek gets really intense although the dog Ruins that I don't recommend a dog
00:27:37.000You're just cleaning up feces and it's not natural for it to be all cooped up.
00:27:41.000If you're in a rural environment and the dog can run free and he's gone for hours and fights a raccoon, I think that's awesome.
00:27:47.000But just this little prison that they're in where you either keep them in the kitchen, where you can clean their piss and shit, or you'll just find shit and piss somewhere.
00:27:56.000Yeah, but you're not walking them enough.
00:30:00.000You know, the guy I bought my house from, he told me that they would go to a park with walkie-talkies, and they would call the cops on themselves.
00:30:08.000And then the cop would be looking for those goddamn kids.
00:30:11.000Because they would call and go, there's a bunch of kids in the park.
00:30:29.000I had this fantasy before I had kids that I'd have six boys and they will have stolen a tractor and they have leather jackets on not like motorcycle jackets but like the kind Germans wear just like with a collar and stuff normal black leather jackets and white t-shirts and sort of scruffy hair and they're all at our big long dining table in the basement that's like this doesn't exist but I'm saying in my in my fantasy and I'm sort of pacing back and forth because they're in big trouble and they're paying the farmer for that tractor oh I see yeah but I'm secretly
00:30:58.000I'm kind of impressed and thrilled that they had the balls to hotwire a tractor and drive it into a swamp.
00:31:06.000They're all sitting there, like, one hand is leaning out, like, their head is leaning on one hand, they're slumped down, they're like, they're watching you as you walk by.
00:31:31.000So you, you want to get to an area where they're playing.
00:31:35.000And I, I didn't know, I didn't realize when I had kids, this would be such a challenge.
00:31:40.000I think you got to make sure the neighborhood you live in is either South of the Mason Dixon line, where I believe that kind of jumping on your bike still exists, or lower middle-class neighborhoods.
00:31:52.000Too poor, and there's not enough discipline or curfews.
00:32:03.000When I was a kid, there was this girl named Kim and she told me when she was, uh, when we were teenagers, she told me about the story from about when she was a kid and they would go wandering out into the woods.
00:32:12.000And one time they played doctor and, uh, she was, she got naked and laid down on some piece of plywood or something.
00:32:20.000And she was being examined and there was girls and boys there.
00:32:22.000They're probably all eight or something.
00:33:22.000And your fucking, your testosterone, now we're jumping up to adolescence, is coursing through your veins.
00:33:28.000Like, one of the reasons I loved punk so much when I was a teenager is because I had all this pent-up frustration, and I think a mosh pit is surprisingly healthy.
00:33:38.000I think that the good that mosh pits do and slam dancing should be studied by some sort of health center.
00:36:35.000A lot of kids at school, a lot of 10-year-olds are walking around the winter with shorts and I don't... Are you trying to show off that you can take cold?
00:37:55.000There's no... You can't apply your own problem-solving to it and be creative, so... But if you look outside, we used to build these big igloos, me and, like, four other friends, and then my parents would just look outside, and I couldn't even imagine being them looking out, and you see, like, a fucking snow fortress.
00:38:11.000I remember that with tunnels and stuff.
00:38:13.000Yeah, we'd have little rooms inside that it was insanity Actually, we had like a hot cocoa room where you drink hot cocoa It's just in that room.
00:38:22.000Yeah, cuz it was like a higher ceiling so it wouldn't be melty Just you know, it was awesome
00:38:27.000I remember being on jumps there was this motocross bike it was I think it was pre-bmx bikes and it was made to look I've talked about it before I've written about it actually it's made to look like a motorcycle and it had shocks on the front and the back
00:39:47.000If I, if I was walking down the street and in the suburbs and I saw kids had set up a jump with cinder blocks and plywood and stuff, I think I would have a heart attack.
00:39:58.000We used to go lugeing around the jackass era.
00:40:48.000You're a kid, you're having fun, you're getting into trouble, you're learning lessons, you're getting into a fight.
00:40:52.000It's very healthy for kids to get into fights.
00:40:54.000And the way, I think there's a lot of this war on boys thing going on where the schools penalize them for being rambunctious and they say, but we will renege this if you go in and get diagnosed with ADHD.
00:41:11.000And so they go, well, I don't want my son to have bad grades, which I don't think it matters.
00:41:18.000And then he goes to a psychologist or whatever they're called, and then they go, yeah, your son has ADHD.
00:41:27.000Okay, so he needs Ritalin for that, or Adderall or something, and then the next thing you know, the kids have a drug addiction.
00:42:55.000How many of you are great orators there?
00:42:58.000Most of you are just nose to the grindstone, and there's the one sales guy who goes, the Tim Cook, who goes out there and goes, okay guys, I got it.
00:43:10.000Not everyone has to be good at public speaking, but I think the reason they do this is so 30 kids, they can manage to squeeze in about three presentations a day,
00:44:43.000And another thing that I've, because I was obsessed with this for a long time because I was so jealous that they got this perfect education and my kids aren't going to get that.
00:45:07.000So the whole community policed itself and each other and it wasn't suing and it wasn't calling the police and it wasn't getting a form and it wasn't being expelled.
00:45:17.000It was, it was anarchy in a, in a good way.
00:46:47.000Superheroes make you, especially if you feel weak like you're a little kid and everyone else is growing faster than you, it's cool to fantasize that you're secretly Spider-Man and you could secretly beat them all up.
00:49:53.000And his marks would go up when he was working and go down when he wasn't.
00:50:00.000It's like if you want something done, ask someone busy.
00:50:06.000There's so much that goes on with teen jobs, where you learn about how the government works, you learn about tax, you learn about debt collections, like say you're cleaning pools, you're going back to their houses to get their money, even a paper route, you're learning tons and tons of stuff.
00:50:24.000I had a gig, it was just for one day, me, my girlfriend Imani, and her other girlfriend, and my other guy friend, we were just bagging groceries at the C-Town, like the local supermarket, and they just let us do that, and then we got all the tips, and then we got a lot of tips.
00:50:40.000Because people saw cute little neighborhood kids.
00:50:42.000And we didn't need like a special shirt or to sign any forms.
00:50:45.000I feel like today you wouldn't be able to get away with that.
00:50:54.000I did do a lot of stealing from the vegetarian stores I worked in when I was an older punk.
00:50:59.000I did set up shop wearing a parka in the freezer and would make people... I had a dessert store.
00:51:07.000So people would come in and I'd go, try this.
00:51:10.000So this is called a strawberry daiquiri, and that's whipped cream, chocolate chips, and I would just make these, invent these little treats for people using the food because the owner would never come into the freezing cold fridge.
00:53:00.000Well, we called it Nicky Nicky Nine Door, going door to door.
00:53:04.000He told me that in Florida they called it, and I'm not going to say the horrible word, N-word knocking.
00:53:11.000He also told me about a guy, I just remembered this, that his dad would take him, driving around, I think this is Tampa, with a plastic, like, kid's toy hammer, and they would go n-word bonking.
00:53:25.000So they would just go up to someone, black guy, and say, hey man, do you know what time it is?
00:53:30.000And then he'd go, uh, I think it's, and then they'd go bonk.
00:55:07.000Yeah, I got Charles Bronson from Death Wish or the Equalizer.
00:55:12.000People keep saying I look like Charles Bronson recently, by the way, now that you mention that.
00:55:16.000But you know what I realized too, growing up in the Bronx you had a lot of that type of fun.
00:55:20.000Fences and stairwells and all that and digging
00:55:24.000Yeah, I don't know much about kids born there.
00:55:26.000I know that when we had a place upstate, the kids, they were just city kids.
00:55:43.000So they weren't interested in going on an adventure.
00:55:46.000I'd take them on walks and drag them and then they'd get a tick and then we'd have to be worried about lime.
00:55:52.000Going in the woods, there's nothing like that.
00:55:54.000You're like, I'm in the fucking woods.
00:55:56.000And there's so many different... The beauty of the Catskills is you walk for 20 feet and you're in some weird thing with dead trees everywhere.
00:56:04.000Then you walk a little bit farther and there's this weird valley with a stream.
00:56:32.000But, um, I got an aquarium, and I just, I would get moss and stuff from actual outside, make a little, you know, pond with dirt and mud and stuff and sticks, so it was their own shit, I didn't buy anything.
00:56:44.000And then I would occasionally buy crickets, or, or, I got this bug vacuum.
00:58:32.000Give up video games, start focusing on girls, go to the arcade, but don't play video games, smoke cigarettes, get in trouble, be bad, and make out with a chick, have crushes, get on your bike, form a little group, your little gang, and
00:59:23.000And I was talking to someone about boarding school because I'd love to send my kids, but my mother, whoops, my wife would never tolerate that.
00:59:40.000Like, they can talk to billionaires, they can talk to blue collars, they're just survivors.
00:59:48.000You could take someone who went to boarding school, male or female, push them out of a plane in the tropics, and then come back three weeks later and they'd have a little coconut stand, and little grass skirts, and they were talking to locals, they would have learned the language.
01:00:23.000Harmony Corrine and Brian DeGraw and a lot of these people in New York in the early 2000s, they did this sort of, again, kind of a gang, not literally a gang,
01:00:34.000Um, and they all have a tattoo of a pitchfork on their hand.
01:00:38.000And they call themselves the Mistakers.
01:00:41.000And their thing is just keep doing stuff.
01:02:09.000There's infinite genders, like the crazy, they were around when I was young, but they were these purple haired lesbians that, you know, didn't have any kind of mainstream, what's the word, acceptance.
01:02:20.000Like you didn't hear, you didn't hear politicians and writers at the New York Times espousing these radical feminist ideas and radical Antifa ideas like they were normal.
01:02:33.000And then he said, and then there's 10% that, I wouldn't call them conservative, but are open-minded to libertarianism and dubious and want to ask questions.
01:05:06.000So my dad's family, he had a lot of siblings, and I don't want to disparage my aunts and uncles, but I think he was much smarter than them, and they call that in IQ, they call that a spike.
01:05:16.000So he had a spike, and the rest were normal blue-collar Scotch-Irish guys, you know, living in a shitty slum called the Gorbals.
01:05:24.000They did their O-Levels, my dad killed on them, so he's whisked away and gets scholarships to go to really good schools, Glasgow University eventually.
01:05:34.000The others didn't get good grades, so they became tradesmen.
01:05:54.000Now, the other thing they won't, they don't tell you, and I think this is true up until, oh, it's true today, the parents like college because they see it as a perfect place to find a mate.
01:06:06.000It's almost, it's almost like eugenics there too, where they go, let's isolate them at this wealthy college and we'll get the good genes, the good rich man genes.
01:06:25.000You don't marry your college sweetheart anymore.
01:06:27.000People are getting married in their 30s.
01:06:29.000So even that possible argument is done.
01:06:34.000So I think you totally and utterly screw college when you're 20 and you do an internship at something that interests you and you'll soon find out if it doesn't interest you.
01:06:44.000Most girls that I meet say they want to, in New York, they want to get into fashion and then they try and they go, Jesus Christ, fashion week is 24 hour days.
01:07:43.000And I will tell you, you will not find a happier couple than two Catholics who were virgins when they met each other and just started churning out kids from day one.
01:08:02.000But around 25, let's say around 29, 30, you want to start, dudes, you want to start thinking, alright, I've fucked enough chicks, what's the matter with this one?
01:08:12.000That's what I always say, like, you get along with this chick, it's been a year, you've been together, you live together, what are you waiting for, her but with bigger tits?
01:08:22.000And if it's not going to be, stop wasting your time.
01:08:25.000There's a thing here that should be illegal.
01:08:30.000And what it is, is you date a girl at, say, 28 in New York, date her until she's 32, buy her a dog so her maternal instincts are temporarily dismantled, and then around 33 you go, eh, this isn't working out, and you dump her.
01:08:44.000Now, it's going to take her a couple years to recover, 35.
01:08:48.000For the billionth time, your ovaries are an hourglass.
01:08:52.000At 30, the hourglass is turned upside down and the sand is dwindling.
01:09:08.000You're going to start pumping yourself full of all kinds of fertility drugs and you're going to have... You know what a lot of those do?
01:09:15.000They give you quintuplets and then eight die.
01:09:21.000Yeah, like a lot of these... I'm seeing a lot of twins these days and it's women who take so many fertility drugs that they have three or four in there and two die and they end up with twins.
01:10:36.000However, if he's up at 9 on a Monday, and he's in his darkroom or whatever, and he's talking to people about a potential shoot, and he's renting a studio, this guy's going places.
01:11:11.000The tradesmen in New York are the new,
01:11:14.000Are the new rich people and lawyers and doctors yes eventually they start making money But it takes a hell of a long time because the market is so saturated
01:11:25.000So, ladies gotta start, and you wanna have five kids, but even if you have three, 25, then 26, 27, then 28, 29, and 30, 31.
01:11:37.000So we're already in our 30s to have three, and I told you, it's starting to get contentious at 30.
01:11:42.000I think my wife had my first daughter at 36, and she was wheeled through a door that said, geriatric mothers.
01:12:15.000And you know, I know a lot of moms, and one of the reasons I'm on this crusade, which annoys the shit out of my wife, because I'm telling other people what to do, but I can't tell you how many old moms like my age go, what the fuck were we waiting for?
01:12:30.000Why did I wait till 38 or 36 to have a kid?
01:12:35.000Plus you're kind of tired when you're old.
01:12:37.000You don't have the same kind of energy.
01:12:54.000Here's how, you've got to read this book, The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead by Charles Murray.
01:13:00.000He has a chapter in it about finding Mrs. Right.
01:13:06.000Now, uh, I've heard many people say that you have to have the same politics, and I'm sure that helps.
01:13:13.000My wife and I do not, and it is rocky at times, but we have so much more in common with, you know, growing up loving punk rock, and we have the same sense of humor, and we have the same exact taste, and, you know, everything from clothing, and to music, to fashion, that is the same thing, to furniture.
01:13:50.000Or, and then she'll have some mix where she'll be doing, you know, Lou Reed or something, and then make it a little faster, like Bad Brains, but then it'll go into some soul music and notice reading.
01:14:01.000And it's just like, you're, I want to hire you.
01:14:12.000But it's funny how he talks about the things, he goes, the secret to finding a mate is you have to differentiate between the superficial differences and the fundamental differences.
01:14:24.000And one of the ones he used, and I'm not sure I agree with this, but punctuality.
01:14:28.000Like, say it's really important to be punctual, and you're very insulted when people are late, and she's the opposite, he goes, that's probably not gonna work out.
01:14:39.000So when you have these fundamental traits, like you're a neat freak and she's a slob, he says it's probably not going to work out.
01:14:46.000When those personality-defining traits, like you love tipped humor and he's one of these doctor guys who cannot riff, those aren't going to work.
01:16:10.000That includes the feminists who think that they've rescued themselves from the kitchen.
01:16:16.000Believe me, housewives in kitchens get it so much better than empowered single feminists, especially over 30.
01:16:25.000You know, you look around the suburbs and so many of these women, especially the ones with nannies and au pairs and stuff, their lives are just the gym, brunch, chatting, little committees and little clubs they've started.
01:18:42.000So now you're churning them out, you're 35, whatever, starting a business, and if you've been following my advice since the day you were born, you have an economic libido.
01:18:55.000So all that pool cleaning, and lawn mowing, and delivering newspapers, and working at the gas station, and then being a waiter, and then being a cook, and then being a bartender,
01:19:19.000You're a major, you know, biz dev guy, and you're doing well at it because you started from the ground up, so you know the company and how it works intimately.
01:19:29.000This is why Tower Records was such a success for such a long time, because all the top brass started from the bottom.
01:19:35.000Gotta see the documentary about them, All Things Must Pass.
01:19:37.000It tells you so much about economics and the trouble with corporations today, where we just hire these over-educated finance guys who have never, never picked up a shovel.
01:19:49.000And by the way, when you are partying and you're a bad boy and you're up to mischief in your teens, you can't wait to move out of the house.
01:19:56.000So you move out at 18 and now you've got all those jobs and maybe that internship coming up.
01:20:01.000So you've been hustling for a while now.
01:20:03.000These infantilized, these wrinkled teenagers who'd stay in the house till they're 25, 6, 7 playing video games, they are infantilized.
01:20:16.000So they're really just sort of like ten-year-olds.
01:20:20.000And so now you're a ten-year-old out in the world.
01:20:22.000And what do ten-year-olds do when they're out in the world?
01:20:24.000They cry, and they whine, and they say Trump is a Nazi, and they say everyone's racist, and they say the world's evil, and everything sucks, and we need socialism because I need free shit because I don't know how to do anything.
01:20:34.000I need Bernie Madoff to change my diapers.
01:20:37.000Yeah, they have an abysmal, grudging view of the world.
01:21:40.000You're almost like a security guard as a dad.
01:21:42.000You don't have to be in their face all the time, but there's going to be a time when they want to talk to you, or they need a hug, or the mom needs help with discipline, and that's when you got to get in there.
01:21:52.000Or when they get lied to in school and get told that Martin Luther King was killed with a gun and guns are evil and you have to say, actually Martin Luther King was waiting for his gun license when he was shot and he should have been better able to defend himself.
01:22:05.000So they're not, that's not quite the whole story there.
01:22:11.000And I think that's important just to be home.
01:23:08.000When you get divorced, you tell your kids love is bullshit, marriage is not a thing you should even try doing, and relationships are not that important, and they're not going to get married, and they're not going to have kids.
01:23:22.000And so that's another massive genocide where you prevented a million people being born, which you probably think is good for the environment.
01:23:28.000And, you know, in marriage you can have a bad year.
01:23:54.000And you'll notice, by the way, when people get divorced and they talk about, oh, my life now, I can order Thai whenever I want.
01:24:00.000And I don't have to, I don't have to fuck my husband if I don't want to.
01:24:04.000Not that anyone has to do that, but there was like my freedom, my freedom, my freedom.
01:24:07.000And they never talk about the kids and what it did to them.
01:24:12.000And I'm convinced that, you know, there's a,
01:24:16.000Everyone says that black crime, well racists say that black crime is because blacks have a predilection for crime.
01:24:24.000The far left says no, the black crime rate is high because of racism and they feel like they have no other voice and they can't get a job because everyone hates black people.
01:24:34.000I don't think it's either of those things.
01:24:36.000I think welfare has incentivized single motherhood and study after study shows that children of single mothers have bigger crime problems.
01:25:16.000You resent your dad, too, for not being around?
01:25:18.000I was, did you know, at the hostel I used to work at, um, this stripper, this black chick with all these tattoos, she came up here from, like, Louisiana or something.
01:25:30.000She asked me, she was like, no strings attached, I think we'd have beautiful babies, and I'll have you sign something so you don't have to pay child support, but I can get this, that, and the third if I have a kid.
01:26:37.000Then you get older and I don't really have to get into too much on this part because I already explained the ideal childhood and it involves employment when the kids are 14 and a lot less video games and all that stupid crap.
01:26:48.000I remember at that age when you start liking girls and it's magical too because they go from these useless things that don't know anything about what you like and anything about Batman
01:27:28.000So they had the big tongues on their Nike blazers and skin tight jeans and lumberjack jackets and feathered blonde hair and a deaf leopard t-shirt.
01:27:37.000And I was just like, you went from a waste of time to the Virgin Mary.
01:28:17.000So, you want your kids to do that, of course you're worried about birth control, of course you're petrified of your daughter getting pregnant, you're petrified of drunk driving, you gotta watch out for all that.
01:28:29.000You gotta get, there's this black box you can get, where it goes in the car, and it zaps all the phones, so you can't text or drive unless you pull over and call or text.
01:29:21.000I think you should do what my parents did where they have a pretty, well they have a pretty big place in Canada, but they should get a small apartment in Canada and a small apartment in Florida, a blue-collar place in Florida, because there's so much more fun bars there and in places like around Orlando, you just walk into those bars and everyone wants to chat.
01:29:45.000Of course you don't want to be there in the summer.
01:29:47.000But, and you can do house exchanges where you go to France and then they can stay in your house.
01:30:08.000And here's one thing that seems to be fading.
01:30:11.000Baby boomers are not very famous for this.
01:30:14.000There's been a few articles about this in the New York Times where
01:30:16.000Baby boomers are not the grandfathers that they had.
01:30:19.000The grandfathers baby boomers had would build the boy a go-kart and he'd build the daughter some insane dollhouse with little sinks and bathrooms and all that stuff.
01:31:03.000But I think it's crucial that you maintain a good relationship with your grown kids and your grandkids.
01:31:10.000And there's been lots of studies, I've talked about these before, where centenarians, they studied them all, and they realized there was a lot of, what's that called when two circular graphs meet in the middle?
01:31:27.000The common traits were... Venn diagram is what it's called, yeah.
01:31:32.000The common traits were lots of fish, so there was a lot of Greeks and Japanese and people who lived along in the Mediterranean and along islands like that.
01:31:45.000They stayed with their family, their grandkids, and especially their grandkids, great grandkids, and they noticed that this helped stave off dementia and senility and Alzheimer's.
01:31:57.000In fact, there was even a case, you can look this up in the New York Times, there's even a case where a guy was suffering from Alzheimer's, he moved in with his family and his great-grandchildren, and it went away.
01:32:11.000Which I believe is God, or you can say nature if you're an atheist, is nature rewarding him and saying, well, I put you here to make more people.
01:32:23.000Ladies, we're all here to make more human beings.
01:32:28.000We're still perfecting this giant thing called humanity.
01:32:31.000So not having kids and killing a lineage of
01:32:36.000Hundreds of thousands of years, just because you wanted to blog, it seems to me it's really dropping the ball.
01:32:44.000But anyway, I think that these centenarians do so well around their great-grandchildren because it's endorphins in their brain rewarding them and saying, this is it, you did it!
01:32:54.000I mean, it's one thing to have kids, but if they don't have kids, you're not really, that wasn't so great.
01:32:59.000That's why you always see grandparents freak out when they're on these videos where the daughter says, you're pregnant, she's pregnant.
01:33:07.000Once you get grandkids, then you can really hang up your hat.
01:33:13.000It's like when you start a fire, and you have, like, you get blown a bit, you get it going pretty good, and, you know, it looks like two human hands worth of fire, and you're thinking, this is pretty good, but it could go out again.
01:33:28.000The wood's not too dry, it could go out again.
01:33:30.000Then, you know, you get some more smaller sticks, and then it's really cooking, and then you start seeing red embers, and it gets to the point where you can just throw any log there, and it's just gonna be going all night, or till that log's gone.
01:33:41.000It's gonna, everything starts like that.
01:33:56.000And by the way, I don't know if I'll accomplish any of these things.
01:33:59.000So you're not hearing from Michael Jackson how to write a good pop song.
01:34:03.000You're hearing from a guy who's thought about this a lot and has figured out how to have the perfect life.
01:34:10.000I still, I got a lot of tweaks to work on, and I may not accomplish any of the things I'm saying that should be accomplished, but that doesn't mean I can't say.