Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - Get Off My Lawn Podcast #104 | Motley Crue are a christian rock band

00:00:00.000 Motley Crue are a Christian band.

00:00:03.000 They're Christian rock.

00:00:04.000 So are Black Sabbath.

00:00:07.000 Hear me out.

00:00:09.000 Shout at the Devil is an anti-devil song.

00:00:13.000 It sounds like a priest wrote it.

00:00:19.000 Here, I'll pull up the lyrics.

00:00:21.000 He's a wolf screaming lonely in the night.

00:00:22.000 He's a bloodstain on the stage. 0.59

00:00:24.000 He's a tear in your eye being tempted by his lie. 0.99

00:00:26.000 He's the knife in your back. 0.71

00:00:28.000 He's rage.

00:00:31.000 He's saying basically what they say in church.

00:00:34.000 That, uh, you know, when you feel yourself having this rage, or when you want to stab someone in the back, or when you're stabbed in the back, that's the devil getting into someone.

00:00:45.000 Um, and even he'll go, he'll be the love in your eyes will be the blood between your thighs and then have you cry for more. 0.97

00:00:54.000 I don't think he's talking about Satan raping you. 0.98

00:00:57.000 I think he's talking about all the terrible things in your life. 0.99

00:01:00.000 Um, like, uh, this relationship you keep going back to where the guy or the girl is abusive, but the sex is so good.

00:01:11.000 He'll put your strength to the test, he'll put the thrill back in death, I'm sure you heard it all before.

00:01:16.000 He'll be the risk and the kiss, might be anger on your lips.

00:01:20.000 It's kind of corny, in a way.

00:01:24.000 It's kind of like an ABC After School special.

00:01:26.000 Like, boys and girls, there's a blood stain on the stage, and your tears, the tears in your eyes, and those lies you're tempted to, that's the devil!

00:01:36.000 It's a church lady song.

00:01:37.000 Or, um...

00:01:40.000 Uh, Black Sabbath, when they go, Satan laughing spreads his wings.

00:01:47.000 Oh God, that is a jam.

00:01:52.000 You know how Black Sabbath started?

00:01:54.000 Their practice space was above a movie theater and it played horror movies and Ozzy goes, or whoever, Gillespie, whatever his name was, goes, um, let's make music that's scary.

00:02:07.000 Like, you know a horror movie, you know a horror movie's scary?

00:02:11.000 Let's make a song that's scary.

00:02:13.000 So you put on an album and you're scared.

00:02:17.000 And they did a good job.

00:02:18.000 But, if you throw Satan in there, and you go, Satan is, what's the scariest thing I can imagine?

00:02:26.000 Maybe Satan laughing?

00:02:28.000 Ha ha ha ha!

00:02:29.000 Oh yeah, that's the scariest thing.

00:02:30.000 Well then you're religious.

00:02:32.000 Because I was an atheist as a kid, my parents are atheists, and I remember being a little kid going, so what?

00:02:37.000 Satan's laughing, spreading his wings, big deal.

00:02:40.000 Ooh, I'm so scared of Satan!

00:02:44.000 But now, I am scared of Satan, and I'm going to start sounding like Alex Jones in this podcast because I used to see Satan as just a metaphor, like the devil.

00:02:55.000 He's just like Nikki Sixx in Motley Crue.

00:02:59.000 But I'm starting to get more literal with it.

00:03:04.000 Actual demons.

00:03:05.000 You know, the way heroin addicts act is so much like there's a little guy on their shoulder saying, just lie.

00:03:12.000 Just do it.

00:03:13.000 Even the way they die.

00:03:15.000 I think with a lot of ODs, they're sort of drifting away, and I'm just making this up, right?

00:03:20.000 I've never OD'd on heroin, but they're sort of drifting away and there's just, there's a voice in their head going, let's just go.

00:03:28.000 Let's just drift off into the abyss.

00:03:31.000 Let's just leave this planet and leave your kid. 1.00

00:03:36.000 Dash Snow, let's just leave your kid, um, who's that famous Philip Seymour Hoffman?

00:03:42.000 Let's just leave your kids, uh, Heath Ledger.

00:03:45.000 Let's drift.

00:03:46.000 And, this is, I'm just making this up, but I honestly think there's a moment there where you're like, uh oh, my heart's gonna stop, my lungs are gonna forget to breathe, because that's how they OD.

00:03:55.000 Their lungs forget to breathe, and their lungs just go to sleep.

00:04:00.000 And I feel like there's a moment in there where this scaly hand just goes, let's go, let's go.

00:04:06.000 And they go, okay, I'll go.

00:04:12.000 That's kind of satanic, is it not?

00:04:15.000 Or Purdue Pharmaceuticals.

00:04:17.000 Here's one thing that's been annoying me these days.

00:04:19.000 We talk about silly minutia.

00:04:23.000 But Trump might have said something racist, or there's that guy from NASCAR who was fired or lost sponsors because his dad said the N-word in the 80s. 1.00

00:04:35.000 So we're all tangled up in that bullshit, right? 1.00

00:04:38.000 Meanwhile, 20 black men are murdered a day with gang violence and this stupid drug war. 1.00

00:04:44.000 And I think it's 115 a day from the opioid epidemic. 1.00

00:04:50.000 And the amazing thing about the opioid epidemic is

00:04:53.000 It affects the bartender's kid.

00:04:57.000 It affects the rich guy on Wall Street.

00:04:59.000 It affects the rural guy in Ohio.

00:05:03.000 It's everywhere.

00:05:05.000 And it should be on the news every day.

00:05:07.000 Now, I have been noticing it get more attention.

00:05:09.000 I saw Stephen Colbert finally did something on it.

00:05:12.000 And, Ryan, we were talking about this the other day.

00:05:16.000 Since we spoke about this, I'm sorry, this morning, uh, something came up.

00:05:20.000 Stats Reports, Purdue Pharma's Dr. Richard Sackler wrote, we have to hammer on the abusers in every way possible.

00:05:27.000 They are the culprits and the problem. 0.83

00:05:28.000 They are reckless criminals. 0.83

00:05:30.000 In a 2001 email included in a lawsuit against pharmaceutical Purdue Pharma.

00:05:34.000 So you understand what he's saying there?

00:05:36.000 He's blaming the... Yeah, they're going to try to blame us.

00:05:39.000 We got to put it, push it on them.

00:05:40.000 Hmm.

00:05:41.000 Hmm.

00:05:42.000 I think that's not even as much of a smoking gun as the other thing where we saw that they had financial incentives.

00:05:47.000 Didn't they?

00:05:48.000 I believe there was a whole 60 minutes about these doctors getting financial incentives.

00:05:54.000 Oh yeah, I've heard that for years, about various drugs.

00:05:56.000 To do it, and we all know what happens, they stop doing the pill and then we have MS-13 in Long Island happy to sell them heroin.

00:06:02.000 I think, I bet a bunch of them didn't even know what heroin was.

00:06:05.000 All these sort of blue collar guys who had a sore back.

00:06:08.000 But is that a general kind of an evil, or is that like demons?

00:06:13.000 Well, I think it's like... You know what I mean?

00:06:16.000 It's like they're possessed by, in Sackler's case, greed, and it knows no bounds and it goes to an evil level.

00:06:24.000 Yeah, okay, so what you're saying is rational, right?

00:06:27.000 You're talking about how I used to talk about the devil.

00:06:30.000 Which is just like, it's just another word for evil.

00:06:33.000 Yeah.

00:06:34.000 But I'm, I'm changing now.

00:06:35.000 Like you think that they're an actual death dealer?

00:06:37.000 I'm getting more like demony about it. 0.93

00:06:39.000 They're actual demons.

00:06:40.000 Like I saw that Desmond the, what was it?

00:06:42.000 Desmond the... Awesome, incredible, wonderful.

00:06:44.000 Desmond is amazing or something?

00:06:45.000 Yeah, Desmond is amazing.

00:06:46.000 He's like a 10 year old drag kid. 0.96

00:06:48.000 Okay, whatever. 0.98

00:06:51.000 But he was at a gay bar and he was dancing around dressed like Gwen Stefani with his huge eyelashes and they're putting money in his pants. 0.98

00:06:58.000 Like, take gay out of it. 1.00

00:06:59.000 Make it a girl dressing up sexy and she's at a bar and men are putting money in her pants and she's 10 and she's dressed up like a sexy woman. 1.00

00:07:09.000 Is that just, that's not just wrong.

00:07:12.000 It seems to me like it's, it's like there's monsters around.

00:07:16.000 Yeah, that is, that's rather evil.

00:07:18.000 I know I sound crazy saying this, and it's hard to articulate, but to me, sometimes it doesn't feel like just plain evil.

00:07:26.000 Like, winter is cold.

00:07:28.000 Everything's cold out.

00:07:30.000 There's no Jack Frost making your nose nip, right?

00:07:34.000 But I'm getting more like Jack Frostian about it all.

00:07:38.000 And I laugh my head off at Satanists. 1.00

00:07:41.000 Because I think they're ridiculous. 0.98

00:07:44.000 Did you know Mark Randazza is a friend of mine? 0.99

00:07:46.000 He represents the worst people imaginable. 0.99

00:07:48.000 That's kind of his shtick, like porn stars. 0.81

00:07:51.000 And most recently he took on some satanist case.

00:07:56.000 And a lot of satanists apparently are quitting and in outrage because they're disgusted that the porn lawyer is representing them.

00:08:06.000 Now, if you're really evil, if you're a real Satanist, wouldn't you be happy that this spooky guy is- you want Max- I think if you were truly a Satanist, you would be working at Purdue Pharmaceuticals. 0.74

00:08:19.000 You'd have a black lab coat on and black fingernail polish.

00:08:22.000 You know?

00:08:24.000 Everyone's got their priorities wrong. 0.90

00:08:25.000 If you're evil, you should be involved in the mass murder.

00:08:30.000 You should be doing pyramid schemes with Bernie Madoff.

00:08:32.000 That's evil.

00:08:34.000 Just sitting around, casting spells with a bunch of old books that you have to blow dust off of, and saying, Ipsum Lama, Horem Epsule, Apsane Sanda, and burning candles. 0.99

00:08:47.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:08:49.000 You don't believe any of that shit. 1.00

00:08:52.000 So many people who are really involved in things and I don't believe that they believe it. 1.00

00:08:59.000 Like the flat earthers.

00:09:01.000 They don't really believe that.

00:09:02.000 That was never a thing.

00:09:03.000 You know, even in cave days, there was maybe 10 flat earthers.

00:09:08.000 Someone was telling me the other day that they thought Galileo was thrown in jail for saying the earth isn't flat.

00:09:14.000 Uh, no.

00:09:15.000 He was thrown in jail. 1.00

00:09:16.000 Well, he kept being a dick. 1.00

00:09:17.000 They tried to not put him in jail. 0.99

00:09:19.000 But he was, basically, the problem with him was he said the universe doesn't revolve, or our galaxy revolves around the sun, not the earth.

00:09:25.000 And that hurt the earth's feelings.

00:09:27.000 So we put him in earth jail.

00:09:29.000 But, uh, yeah, flat earth has never been a thing.

00:09:32.000 Because cave people could look up and see a thing called the moon.

00:09:36.000 Or as it was called back then, uh-uh.

00:09:41.000 Is that accurate?

00:09:43.000 That cave word?

00:09:44.000 Yeah.

00:09:45.000 Yes.

00:09:47.000 I learned it as an extra, an extra course in college because I needed one more elective.

00:09:53.000 Well, I happen to be a professional in the arts of cave speak, as it's actually called.

00:10:00.000 And so I'm calling BS.

00:10:02.000 Okay.

00:10:03.000 It's actually, the moon was called... Would you want to go back to cave times?

00:10:08.000 I would only want to time travel if I had a force field around myself and a T-Rex couldn't bite my head off.

00:10:15.000 But then you still want to touch stuff, so you don't want to be a ghost.

00:10:18.000 But you basically want to be Superman.

00:10:20.000 Yeah.

00:10:21.000 But there's also a problem with that.

00:10:23.000 Now time doesn't exist and you can be Superman, so now God didn't create the universe.

00:10:28.000 Oh, you're kind of thwarting the godly order of things.

00:10:33.000 Well, God made us.

00:10:35.000 What I believe is, this is my religion, or how I take Catholicism, God started this whole thing with like a magic goop.

00:10:43.000 You know in Prometheus where that guy eats some sort of thing that turns him into dust and he goes into the river and then we have humanity?

00:10:50.000 That's kind of what I see.

00:10:53.000 Earth as.

00:10:54.000 God started this first domino, pushed it down.

00:10:57.000 We have free will.

00:10:58.000 Oh, I see.

00:10:59.000 Not a ton of free will, though.

00:11:01.000 Like, identical twins separated at birth end up with the same interests. 0.98

00:11:04.000 So Ryan Ketsu Rivera would have been the same kid whether your dad fucked off to California or not. 1.00

00:11:10.000 You've had a shittier life. 1.00

00:11:11.000 I can believe that. 0.98

00:11:12.000 Because your dad abandoned you.

00:11:13.000 I thought it was pretty great.

00:11:14.000 But?

00:11:15.000 So far.

00:11:16.000 Well, no.

00:11:17.000 You're in desperate need of a father figure.

00:11:19.000 That's why you love me so much.

00:11:21.000 I'm your mentor.

00:11:21.000 But look where it's gotten me.

00:11:23.000 I've gotten all these wisdoms imparted.

00:11:25.000 Yeah, because I'm a wonderful, generous guy with a heart of gold.

00:11:28.000 That's true. 0.99

00:11:32.000 But you could still kill yourself. 1.00

00:11:34.000 You could still become a junkie. 1.00

00:11:37.000 The devil could still get to you. 0.87

00:11:39.000 And the devil exists. 1.00

00:11:45.000 But then at the same time, I laugh in the face of Satanists, but I think the difference, the reason I can laugh at Satan, Satanists and witch, these fucking witches with all their stupid spells, I think that's becoming really common too. 1.00

00:11:56.000 There's more flat earthers in society today than there have ever been in history, and I would argue there's more witches. 0.99

00:12:06.000 Remember when you said you don't believe that they believe what they're saying because if, like, uh, their mother fell ill with cancer or something, they would- Okay, like, take two people, right?

00:12:14.000 One guy isn't a witch, and he's told his mother has serious breast cancer, it's metastasized. 0.99

00:12:18.000 The other is a practicing witch, he busts his ass all day with newts and fuckin' burning wheatgrass or whatever they do. 1.00

00:12:25.000 They exist! 1.00

00:12:25.000 Go to Williamsburg, they have stores with rows and rows and shelves upon shelves of fuckin' stupid shit! 1.00

00:12:33.000 Like dried frog's eyes! 1.00

00:12:37.000 It's like, he goes to the cash register, he's got like a pound of sage, and the cashier rings it up, she looks at him, she's like, let me guess, cancer?

00:12:45.000 He's like, yeah.

00:12:47.000 That's what the sage is for, surely.

00:12:51.000 Sorry, I got distracted there.

00:12:53.000 So, you say to the guy who's not a witch, he's looking really bad for your mom, he cries, and he goes to his mom's bedside, and he's destitute.

00:13:03.000 He's bereft.

00:13:04.000 You say it to the witch, 0.96

00:13:06.000 Exactly the same thing happens. 1.00

00:13:08.000 Because he doesn't believe, and yes there's plenty of male witches, he doesn't believe this shit. 1.00

00:13:12.000 He doesn't inhale and go, I'm gonna need a lot of eye of newts. 1.00

00:13:17.000 I better get to work.

00:13:18.000 I'll be up all night.

00:13:18.000 I should take some Adderall.

00:13:20.000 Because I'm gonna be just busting my ass. 0.99

00:13:23.000 All night, just making concoctions. 0.98

00:13:26.000 They have life-saving potions that they can do, but they still need Adderall. 0.99

00:13:29.000 Can't you just make like a fucking ginseng thing? 0.99

00:13:33.000 Oh my God, if any of these witches have a fucking doctor and take any kind of prescription pills, I am laughing them out of the witchdom. 1.00

00:13:41.000 I'm trying to reverse engineer Xanax. 1.00

00:13:44.000 Are ya?

00:13:45.000 You don't have to mess with Adderall.

00:13:47.000 All you need to do is crush 3,000 caffeine leaves and burn them over some balsamic vinegar. 1.00

00:13:54.000 While reciting, there's always some fuckin' poem or some shit. 0.99

00:13:58.000 So I think we can safely say, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Satanists are not Satanists. 0.99

00:14:04.000 It's just a thing you do to sound interesting.

00:14:08.000 Flat earthers are not flat earthers. 1.00

00:14:09.000 They are young men, usually white millennials, who are trying to get pussy. 1.00

00:14:15.000 And the way you get laid when you're a young man is you're special, and you're interesting, and you know things other people don't think. 1.00

00:14:22.000 You're trying to give yourself depth.

00:14:25.000 And there's a million ways young men do that.

00:14:27.000 Often we would parrot our fathers. 0.99

00:14:30.000 Our fathers would say something unusual like, oh, don't believe this shite about the Civil War was about slavery. 0.98

00:14:36.000 It was just about the North pushing, wanting to push around the South and the South saying, nobody pushes me around. 0.99

00:14:42.000 It was just a fucking, a chest puffing competition and it killed the equivalent of 5 million a day. 0.99

00:14:48.000 What do you mean? 1.00

00:14:50.000 5 million died?

00:14:51.000 No, it was 620,000, but it was equivalent today.

00:14:54.000 Of today's population, it would have been 5 million.

00:14:56.000 For what? 0.98

00:14:57.000 Fucking only 2% of the population owned slaves. 0.99

00:15:00.000 They were the rich. 1.00

00:15:01.000 You think, could you see a whole nation going to war over one guy and his fucking Ferrari? 0.99

00:15:06.000 Because they wanted Ferrari owner's rights. 0.99

00:15:09.000 It was very rare, you know. 0.99

00:15:11.000 And you go, shit, I didn't know any of that. 1.00

00:15:14.000 I'm going to become that guy. 1.00

00:15:16.000 I'm going to be the slavery north-south guy at school. 0.72

00:15:20.000 Or you'd be a celibate.

00:15:22.000 Yeah, I don't.

00:15:23.000 I'm never having sex.

00:15:25.000 And then girls would be interested. 0.98

00:15:26.000 Oh, I'm going to break him.

00:15:28.000 Or your ethnicity even expect white people hate that there's nothing there.

00:15:33.000 They're just playing like I know this Indian He's half American Indian half white and when he's a kid people ask him if he's Chinese or whatever you go No, no, I'm part American Indian part plane.

00:15:43.000 So we're playing and

00:15:45.000 White people hate that they're playing, so they'll find an Irish flag, they'll find out their great-grandfather was Irish, and then they've got this ukelele. 0.80

00:15:52.000 What's it called? 0.66

00:15:52.000 That little club? 0.66

00:15:54.000 The Gilele or something?

00:15:55.000 Uh, Shillelagh. 0.98

00:15:55.000 Shillelagh. 0.98

00:15:56.000 They got the flag on the wall, they're learning Gaelic and shit, they're going back to the motherland, and everyone's like, what the fuck you doing here? 1.00

00:16:04.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:05.000 I'm here to be with you, my friend, my fellow. 0.90

00:16:08.000 Some of my relatives, man, the ones that weren't born in Scotland, they are so over the top with the kilts and the fucking Robbie Burns supper and they've got the dagger and the sock and all that stuff. 0.95

00:16:21.000 And they learn bagpipes and everything. 0.98

00:16:23.000 I mean, bagpipes is one of the hardest instruments there is.

00:16:25.000 It takes seven years.

00:16:28.000 That's why I like the Satanist stuff.

00:16:29.000 They're like, um, they want to be a part of something just like everybody else does, but they, um, want to be nonconformist and contrarians.

00:16:39.000 So they wind up falling into a group of their own, which is, doesn't that take the fun out of it?

00:16:43.000 They want to be special.

00:16:45.000 They don't, and it's always the boring people.

00:16:48.000 Like when you meet someone like you, that is a weird race, Puerto Rican, Japanese, they don't want to talk about it. 1.00

00:16:56.000 In fact, I used to use that to pick up visible minorities.

00:17:01.000 Or just ignore it?

00:17:02.000 Yeah, especially when they're ethnically ambiguous.

00:17:04.000 Because it's like tall people. 0.99

00:17:05.000 Every fucking day, they get asked, what's your ethnicity exactly? 1.00

00:17:11.000 I fucking hate when people say that to tall people. 1.00

00:17:13.000 How tall are you? 1.00

00:17:14.000 It shows some fucking empathy. 0.99

00:17:17.000 You know how often they get that question? 0.99

00:17:20.000 Do you play basketball?

00:17:21.000 They get that question a million times. 1.00

00:17:23.000 In fact, Flatfoot56 has a song about this, because he's 6'7", and it's called something like, I'm 6'7", motherfucker, leave me alone. 0.97

00:17:34.000 In fact, we were going to do a comedy sketch about a tall guy who loves that subject, and he goes up to people and goes, guess how tall? 0.98

00:17:42.000 Guess how tall?

00:17:43.000 I don't know, 6'5"?

00:17:44.000 Higher!

00:17:45.000 Higher!

00:17:46.000 6'6", dude.

00:17:47.000 Can you believe that?

00:17:49.000 And yeah, I play basketball, I sure do.

00:17:51.000 I have to get my shoes on the internet.

00:17:57.000 I think a lot of these moms, too, that say their kid is trans, sometimes I suspect that they're... especially when the kid is one.

00:18:04.000 Right.

00:18:06.000 My baby's trans.

00:18:08.000 Okay.

00:18:09.000 Yeah, so I'm sort of going, I'm part of the struggle too.

00:18:11.000 I'm part of the LGBT struggle.

00:18:13.000 Eh, not so much.

00:18:15.000 Not so much.

00:18:16.000 If you have to force it that hard, it's like, um, you're just trying to make yourself look cooler.

00:18:20.000 Like they're like a prop for you.

00:18:22.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:18:23.000 Like when you see gay parents going, I'm proud of my gay son. 0.65

00:18:26.000 Okay. 0.64

00:18:27.000 That's cool.

00:18:28.000 It's 2019.

00:18:29.000 You should be.

00:18:30.000 Or, um, uh, 1.00

00:18:34.000 Can you say how perverse it would be for a dad to be like, my son gets laid a lot, he loves pussy. 1.00

00:18:39.000 He's always fucking. 1.00

00:18:40.000 I'm proud of my fucking pussy-smashing son. 1.00

00:18:42.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:18:44.000 My son's seven and he loves pussy. 1.00

00:18:48.000 People would be so weirded out by that. 1.00

00:18:50.000 Well yeah, that's like the Desmond is amazing thing.

00:18:51.000 I mean, take the gay out of it and it's just not right to have kids being remotely sexual when they're not at the age of consent. 1.00

00:19:04.000 That's not how we built the society.

00:19:05.000 And if he does do that, that's cool, but like why are there grown adults half naked next to him like, yay, this rules.

00:19:12.000 It doesn't rule.

00:19:13.000 You were asking earlier, why do all gays sound similar? 0.98

00:19:18.000 Yeah, I think it's like a frequency that they tap into, just like addicts. 0.98

00:19:23.000 When you start becoming like an addict.

00:19:25.000 It's like, it takes on a different life.

00:19:27.000 I think you're wrong.

00:19:29.000 I think those are two totally different things.

00:19:31.000 Addicts become possessed by the demons I was talking about.

00:19:35.000 The evil demon, the same demon that convinced the Sackler family to make billions killing a hundred people a day.

00:19:41.000 That's like... 1.00

00:19:43.000 On some serious devil shit, man. 1.00

00:19:45.000 Right, right. 1.00

00:19:45.000 But no, the gay thing I think is, I think we would all behave like that if we totally indulged ourselves. 1.00

00:19:54.000 It's in us all.

00:19:55.000 Like when my dad gets drunk and he pulls up the arms of his blazer and he starts dancing, it's a very sensual kind of, and he's going, hurr to true to grip, vine.

00:20:06.000 How much longer will you be mine?

00:20:09.000 Hunna, hunna, yeah.

00:20:12.000 When he's drunk?

00:20:12.000 That is hard to listen to.

00:20:16.000 But he'll dance in a very gay way. 0.98

00:20:18.000 I think we're all gay.

00:20:19.000 I don't mean like sexually, but if we just totally was like, hi everyone! 0.99

00:20:26.000 Like if you were just you in overdrive, you'd be much more effeminate.

00:20:31.000 It feels better.

00:20:31.000 If you were you dipped in U-sauce?

00:20:33.000 Yeah, it's like Stockbauer. 0.89

00:20:35.000 My buddy in Texas says, he goes, everyone thinks he's gay because he's really effusive, as Texans are. 1.00

00:20:40.000 He's always gesticulating.

00:20:42.000 And he said, I'm not gay, it just feels good.

00:20:47.000 That is funny.

00:20:48.000 You know what it is?

00:20:50.000 It's almost like when you're on ecstasy and you're just enjoying everything. 0.98

00:20:53.000 It literally is gay. 0.93

00:20:54.000 It's happy. 0.99

00:20:55.000 Texans are happy for the most part, and they act pretty gay. 0.69

00:20:58.000 Like when I first met him, he said to Saroosh, and he goes, 0.87

00:21:04.000 What kind of drugs do you like there, boy?

00:21:06.000 And he goes, I don't do drugs anymore, but I used to do a lot of heroin.

00:21:11.000 And he goes, ooh, you like getting low.

00:21:13.000 I don't.

00:21:13.000 I like getting high.

00:21:14.000 I like getting higher than a Georgia pine!

00:21:17.000 That is a little too fun for him.

00:21:18.000 And I started writing everything down, he said.

00:21:20.000 And he sees me and he goes, ooh, that's it.

00:21:22.000 Write it down, boys.

00:21:24.000 I'm the Oscar gone wild of our generation.

00:21:26.000 Wow.

00:21:27.000 Yeah, it was just fun.

00:21:29.000 Yeah, just over the top.

00:21:30.000 There's certain people like that, that just... Artie Lang is like that.

00:21:34.000 Like, when he sees a picture of Kim Kardashian making it rain within a nanosecond, he goes, oh, looks like she's paying Lamar Oden's coke bill. 1.00

00:21:42.000 He is quick as fuck. 1.00

00:21:43.000 It just shot out of his mouth. 1.00

00:21:46.000 If I were to say a joke like that, I would maybe think about it for a minute.

00:21:51.000 And that's a long time in quip land.

00:21:53.000 60 seconds, everyone else has moved on.

00:21:56.000 And you know who else is like that?

00:21:58.000 It's Jay Johnson, the guy who played the cop on the Sarah Silverman program.

00:22:01.000 Oh yeah? 1.00

00:22:01.000 Holy fuck, that guy is hilarious. 1.00

00:22:05.000 I picked him up once. 1.00

00:22:06.000 We're on vacation in St.

00:22:07.000 Martin and St.

00:22:09.000 Martin is the Caribbean and everything is backwards down there and the parking lot was incredibly hard to get out of. 0.99

00:22:14.000 They didn't have any signs and we kept going in circles.

00:22:16.000 There's no exit and so we're the second time we've looped around trying to find out how to get the fuck out of the airport and he goes, oh this is an interesting airport actually.

00:22:26.000 The parking lot was designed by an architect city planner named Williard Nillard.

00:22:30.000 His friends would call him Willy Nilly.

00:22:35.000 That's pretty good.

00:22:37.000 I love puns.

00:22:38.000 I can come up with those pretty quick.

00:22:41.000 That's the weirdest, queerest thing you've ever said.

00:22:43.000 That's not true.

00:22:44.000 Anyway, um, so... Uh...

00:22:52.000 I'm sounding crazy, right?

00:22:54.000 The devil is taking over. 1.00

00:22:55.000 Like, for example, gay marriage, awesome, go nuts, kids. 1.00

00:23:00.000 But the way they keep picking on that one baker, that seems demonic. 0.99

00:23:06.000 Actually, Ann Coulter wrote a book called Demonic.

00:23:10.000 So I guess what I'm trying to ask on this podcast is, when we talk about the devil,

00:23:17.000 If you'd asked me this two weeks ago, I would say, uh, hey, atheists, it just means evil or bad or, or, you know, temptation. 1.00

00:23:23.000 We all have vices in us.

00:23:25.000 We all have the temptation to lie and cheat and steal.

00:23:28.000 And when you succumb to that, you're succumbing to evil, or you could say you're succumbing to the devil.

00:23:32.000 It's a synonym.

00:23:33.000 That was me last week.

00:23:35.000 This week?

00:23:37.000 I don't know, man.

00:23:40.000 Men putting money in a little boy's pants seems more than just negligent.

00:23:46.000 It's sinister.

00:23:47.000 And then punishing people who don't think that that's cool. 0.91

00:23:51.000 Yeah, or how about the entire nation's focus being shifted away from 20 dead black men a day and a hundred dead opioid addicts a day and to silly minutiae like who said something rude. 0.91

00:24:03.000 Yeah, Louie's jokes. 0.92

00:24:04.000 Louie's jokes. 1.00

00:24:05.000 Louie's consensual sex. 0.99

00:24:07.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:08.000 35 million down the drain.

00:24:09.000 I think there's some real malicious... I think a lot of young people have given up on a family.

00:24:14.000 I'm just making this up as I go along, by the way.

00:24:16.000 I think a lot of young people have given up on a family, and I think that feels very unnatural, and so they lash out, and they want revenge.

00:24:23.000 You'll notice journalism today, especially when it comes to stories about me, it's just vindictive tattletailing.

00:24:29.000 There's no exploration there.

00:24:31.000 They don't really want to get to the bottom of anything.

00:24:34.000 There's no like rebuttals to, like a long rebuttal to an article I wrote about, you know, the state of immigration or something like that.

00:24:40.000 It's a dog pile and there's no challenge to it either.

00:24:42.000 Yeah, it's like

00:24:44.000 He says he was in a band.

00:24:45.000 We found his band members.

00:24:46.000 They said he was late for practice every day.

00:24:49.000 It's really snarky, bitchy stuff. 0.97

00:24:50.000 Yeah, it is bitchy. 1.00

00:24:52.000 That's where we get our news from.

00:24:53.000 Right.

00:24:54.000 He's really hard to work with. 1.00

00:24:55.000 He's a total bitch. 1.00

00:24:56.000 People are talking about Trump's McDonald's order. 1.00

00:24:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:24:59.000 Like, grow the fuck up, you loser. 1.00

00:25:01.000 Or this whole thing about, he said Mexico was going to pay for the wall. 1.00

00:25:05.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

00:25:06.000 They're not going to give him a check. 1.00

00:25:08.000 This was explained very clearly.

00:25:09.000 He went on Hannity and he said, Hannity said, so you're not saying they're going to give you a check.

00:25:13.000 And he says, no, we have, what's it called?

00:25:16.000 Trade deficit.

00:25:17.000 I forget the term, but we do so much trade with them and they benefit so much from our relationship that I will start taking out of that and saying, look, boys, you're going to, I'm going to cut back here and I'm going to cut back there.

00:25:28.000 And you're still going to want me as a customer because you get so much from me, but I'm gonna start demanding more.

00:25:32.000 Just like when you go to the,

00:25:34.000 Say you go to a restaurant, and it's your restaurant, you're there every night, you spend 150 bucks.

00:25:38.000 You can start saying, yeah, I want the booth by the window there.

00:25:42.000 That's my table.

00:25:43.000 From now on, I always want that to be available.

00:25:45.000 And that's what Trump's saying with the wall.

00:25:46.000 He's going to be like, yeah, no, you know what?

00:25:47.000 We're going to get a little more out of you.

00:25:49.000 We're going to get a little more.

00:25:51.000 I'm not going to give you this concession or that concession.

00:25:53.000 And then that profit will go to the wall.

00:25:54.000 That's all he's saying.

00:25:55.000 That was made clear.

00:25:56.000 And he was like, I didn't think you guys were going to take me literal.

00:26:00.000 How does he have to speak to people, like children?

00:26:02.000 I'm the guy who said I could shoot someone in 40 seconds straight, or whatever it was.

00:26:05.000 It's hyperbole.

00:26:06.000 Have you ever talked to a New Yorker before? 0.95

00:26:07.000 It's called bullshitting. 0.98

00:26:08.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:26:09.000 I was shitting bricks. 1.00

00:26:10.000 Were you actually shitting... A brick came out of your anus? 1.00

00:26:12.000 Are you okay? 1.00

00:26:13.000 You would have to have eaten that brick, no?

00:26:15.000 You ate a brick? 1.00

00:26:16.000 Or did you have a brick put into your anus? 1.00

00:26:17.000 Or did you eat concrete and then it came out a brick out of your asshole because inside is... Oh my god. 1.00

00:26:21.000 Are you an opioid addict? 1.00

00:26:22.000 Because I've heard that they... You know, here's an interesting thing. 1.00

00:26:26.000 Heroin addicts shit like once every week and a half. 1.00

00:26:29.000 Jesus, that's probably the worst thing about it. 1.00

00:26:31.000 Yeah.

00:26:32.000 Well, you'll see ads.

00:26:33.000 Because opioid addiction is so big now, you'll see ads on TV about...

00:26:37.000 Stool softeners.

00:26:39.000 Activia.

00:26:40.000 If you look in the fridge of a heroin addict, you will see Jamie Lee Curtis endorse Activia yogurt.

00:26:45.000 You know, I've got some money, but I'm cheap, so I'd never do anything like this.

00:26:49.000 But if I had, if I wasn't cheap, I would make someone make a stuffed stool, like, you know, like a teddy bear, but it's a stool.

00:26:58.000 And I would put it in my kitchen and then people would sit on it and it would collapse, obviously, because it's just stuffed.

00:27:05.000 I'd say I gave it too much stool softener. 0.92

00:27:07.000 That was retard. 1.00

00:27:11.000 Don't say that word anymore.

00:27:12.000 We're banning that word.

00:27:13.000 I stopped. 0.81

00:27:13.000 I said retard. 0.81

00:27:15.000 That's so retard. 1.00

00:27:17.000 It's French for like pâté almost. 0.99

00:27:19.000 It's French for a silly thing. 0.90

00:27:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:27:21.000 Oh, c'est toujours un autre retard. 1.00

00:27:24.000 Retard. 1.00

00:27:25.000 You know, another petty thing that like the left tried to scoop up is

00:27:30.000 Trump gave this speech, I think like a graduating class, and he said, we got to get over the wall.

00:27:35.000 If there's a wall in your way, you have to climb over it.

00:27:37.000 And that was the whole clip.

00:27:38.000 Like, they take out of context, look at Trump talking about getting over walls. 0.72

00:27:41.000 Yeah, it's willful ignorance at this point.

00:27:43.000 Here's another thing we keep hearing about. 0.98

00:27:47.000 This dummy thinks a wall's gonna work. 0.58

00:27:49.000 They all come over in planes. 0.97

00:27:51.000 Most of them come here legally, and then they abscond their visa or whatever.

00:27:54.000 From all countries, by the way, too.

00:27:55.000 Yes.

00:27:56.000 That's not true.

00:27:58.000 Oh, really?

00:27:59.000 Yes.

00:28:00.000 All the documented cases we have of illegals, where we have it on the books that they are here illegally, all of those are from planes and visas.

00:28:11.000 But that's a tiny fraction of the 30 million who were here.

00:28:15.000 The ones who are crossing the border, we don't have numbers on.

00:28:19.000 I've heard estimates of 300 a day.

00:28:21.000 I've heard 30 a day.

00:28:23.000 As far as how many are here illegally, the number, the left says 12 million, the right says 30 million.

00:28:29.000 The vast majority, and actually I think Ann Coulter is doing a story about this right now, something like 80% of them cross the border.

00:28:36.000 Walking and but 90% of the ones we have on paper are Students or people at H1B visas and didn't go back or people who came here on a two-way You know round-trip ticket and didn't take the trip back.

00:28:48.000 Those are just the ones we have documented and you keep hearing this lie used again and again and again and it's frustrating because you go you haven't looked it up and

00:28:58.000 And that's just an example of how the news has become sports now.

00:29:03.000 And it's just like, the Mets are the best team in the league.

00:29:06.000 And I'm ignoring the fact that the Yankees are amazing.

00:29:10.000 And they're gonna destroy us this year because they can finally spend money.

00:29:15.000 Everyone thinks they're just good because they spent a ton of money.

00:29:17.000 They weren't spending any money.

00:29:19.000 All their rookies were making under a million.

00:29:21.000 I don't know what we are.

00:29:39.000 My Yankees hat more.

00:29:40.000 I don't do it because I feel like... Are you a Yankees guy?

00:29:42.000 We should hate each other.

00:29:43.000 I never knew that about you.

00:29:45.000 I was born in the Bronx.

00:29:46.000 Yeah, I don't care.

00:29:47.000 I'm default.

00:29:47.000 No, people, when I wear my Mets hat, people go, you need to take that hat off, like Yankees guys.

00:29:52.000 And I get it.

00:29:53.000 Yeah.

00:29:53.000 But I feel, I think they're two New York teams.

00:29:56.000 I don't feel that animosity.

00:29:57.000 No, me neither.

00:29:58.000 Not even with the Red Sox.

00:29:59.000 No, I just go, you're a really good team. 0.99

00:30:01.000 It's like when I was broke, I would know actors and stuff and comedians who were rich as shit. 0.98

00:30:08.000 It didn't bother me in the slightest. 0.99

00:30:10.000 I just look at the Yankees and I go, you are a very, very good team. 1.00

00:30:14.000 I kick their ass on a regular basis. 1.00

00:30:16.000 Not my cup of tea. 1.00

00:30:17.000 The political division and polarity makes me like Unity more, and so when you realize that you like the same sport, like you're a Red Sox fan, I'm a Yankees fan, we're in the same fucking stadium watching them play, we're rooting for the same game. 0.53

00:30:31.000 I gotta admit though, sorry did I cut you off? 0.78

00:30:33.000 No.

00:30:33.000 I gotta admit, when someone's sitting right next to me, and they're with the St.

00:30:38.000 Louis Cardinals or something, and we're in Brooklyn,

00:30:43.000 And they're clapping every time they get a home run, and I sort of feel like saying, uh, can you go to a different section, please? 0.99

00:30:51.000 Or I see them on TV behind the pitcher, behind the catcher, sorry, trying to distract the pitcher, and they're in New York, and the fact that you can be in New York and try to fuck with my team in our stadium, that pisses me off. 0.98

00:31:02.000 That disrespect is what it is. 0.99

00:31:03.000 Do you know what would happen to you in fucking Glasgow if you did that? 0.99

00:31:07.000 My cousin was wearing a blue jacket, 1.00

00:31:10.000 And someone reached out of a bus and broke a bottle on his head.

00:31:13.000 Wow!

00:31:15.000 Now, it's Bloods and Crips over there.

00:31:16.000 Blue is the Rangers.

00:31:18.000 They are Protestant.

00:31:20.000 And they don't... they like England.

00:31:22.000 They like the Queen. 0.88

00:31:22.000 They like the Union Jack. 0.88

00:31:24.000 They don't want to separate.

00:31:26.000 Now, the green is the Celtics.

00:31:28.000 They are Catholics.

00:31:29.000 They hate England. 0.98

00:31:30.000 They hate the Queen. 0.92

00:31:32.000 They're poorer.

00:31:33.000 It's also... there's a class thing in there.

00:31:34.000 So you got religion, class... They side with the IRA.

00:31:37.000 They side with the IRA.

00:31:39.000 Dude, they're so radical, they side with Palestine. 1.00

00:31:41.000 Jesus!

00:31:42.000 Celtics will have Palestinian flags.

00:31:44.000 Hamas? 1.00

00:31:45.000 Fucking Celtics. 1.00

00:31:47.000 What the hell? 1.00

00:31:47.000 It's my team. 1.00

00:31:48.000 But I gotta admit, I'm not bananas about seeing a giant Hamas flag.

00:31:52.000 None of them have been remotely near Israel.

00:31:54.000 That's insane.

00:31:55.000 And they're waving a Hamas flag?

00:31:56.000 But it's just, the Scots have this irritating love of the underdog thing, David and Goliath.

00:32:02.000 So they always choose the underdog because they see themselves as the underdog, and they don't look it up.

00:32:05.000 They're just like, they're probably pro-Basque separatist, or they probably love the FLQ that committed terrorist acts in Canada to separate Quebec.

00:32:15.000 Not really too informed on the whole thing, I guess.

00:32:18.000 And that's what we're getting with the new series.

00:32:19.000 By the way, I like Hamas. 0.99

00:32:21.000 You like Hamas? 0.83

00:32:22.000 Yeah, but I have to have like pita chips or something.

00:32:25.000 Maybe celery?

00:32:26.000 Why are we calling Hamas a terrorist group?

00:32:28.000 It's delicious!

00:32:30.000 Maybe you're having too much of it?

00:32:32.000 Just take pita, have two dips, and put it back in the fridge! 0.88

00:32:35.000 You're not gonna die!

00:32:37.000 Somebody doesn't like grease very much.

00:32:40.000 That was like that idea we had where we interviewed an astronomer.

00:32:45.000 Oh yeah. 0.99

00:32:46.000 Or maybe an astrophysicist and we we got confused and thought it was an astrologist so every time he talks we're rolling our eyes and laughing because it's all been debunked and then at the end of the thing he goes, you're thinking of a fucking astrologist dumbass. 0.99

00:32:59.000 I'm an astronomer. 0.99

00:33:03.000 It's gonna take some work.

00:33:05.000 I got a lot of good ideas for sketches.

00:33:07.000 The problem with sketches is to do them right is 20 grand.

00:33:12.000 And it's lighting, and it's location, all that costs money. 0.99

00:33:16.000 Casting is a bitch. 1.00

00:33:18.000 And, you know, to get it together, to do it right. 0.99

00:33:21.000 Like, how dudes run fashion, I think was the last one I did.

00:33:25.000 If dudes ran fashion. 1.00

00:33:27.000 And, uh, that one, that was 20 grand.

00:33:30.000 So I could spend my own money, but it's not a good rate of return on that puppy.

00:33:36.000 Same with movies.

00:33:38.000 You make a movie, even if you get like two million to do the movie, everyone's putting in so much insane hours.

00:33:43.000 I start to wonder if this is minimum wage. 0.89

00:33:46.000 And if you want to make it good, you take a hit personally on your salary, if you're not fucking Ryan Reynolds, and you want to put it into production. 0.97

00:33:53.000 Like, we wanted to get a three-legged dog. 0.94

00:33:57.000 We wanted to get an action guy who can do good fight scenes.

00:34:01.000 We wanted to get, oh, you want to get songs.

00:34:04.000 I managed to get Diplo on How to Be a Man.

00:34:07.000 That was very cool, but we had to put aside a lot of money for music. 0.99

00:34:13.000 It's not a very lucrative endeavor if you're not in Hollywood and part of the 1% who makes these stupid superhero blockbusters. 0.98

00:34:21.000 But anyway, I want to stay on track. 0.99

00:34:23.000 So, what's the matter?

00:34:26.000 How did you get Redman?

00:34:26.000 Did you have to pay Redman to do that sketch with you?

00:34:29.000 Uh, I know him, and my cameraman, no, the cameraman I was working with at the time knows him really well.

00:34:39.000 Oh, okay.

00:34:39.000 He wanted to do more stuff.

00:34:40.000 Dude, he's a great actor.

00:34:41.000 Yeah, you guys like went off each other really well.

00:34:44.000 You seem like he's really... Do you know I started a business with Nas?

00:34:48.000 What? 1.00

00:34:50.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:34:51.000 We sold it for a ton of money. 1.00

00:34:52.000 No.

00:34:52.000 You're kidding me.

00:34:53.000 What was the business?

00:34:54.000 The business was you would go into a

00:34:59.000 ...a store and it would use your Wi-Fi.

00:35:02.000 So you'd go into the store's Wi-Fi.

00:35:07.000 My brain is so shitty that I forgot the name of my company.

00:35:10.000 Was it Wasp, Storm, Swarm? 0.98

00:35:14.000 Just Gavin McInnes, Nas.

00:35:16.000 Swarm, yeah, Swarm. 0.86

00:35:19.000 Nas put a million bucks into it.

00:35:22.000 You go into a store and they say, we have free Wi-Fi here, wanna use the shoe store's Wi-Fi?

00:35:27.000 And you say, okay.

00:35:28.000 And now we track all your behavior, but we also track where you are in the store.

00:35:32.000 And then the store owner gets all this metadata and he realizes things like that big display of socks that I put up, no one has gone near.

00:35:44.000 90% of my customers just look at the purses.

00:35:46.000 So then he goes, you know what? 1.00

00:35:48.000 Fuck socks. 1.00

00:35:49.000 Let's focus on purses. 1.00

00:35:51.000 He sees how long they're in the store.

00:35:51.000 What a great idea.

00:35:53.000 Because when you accept the terms and conditions,

00:35:56.000 And we don't follow you after that, we don't hack into your personal life or anything, we just see where you go in the store, what you buy, how much you paid for, stuff like that.

00:36:04.000 That's a great business tool.

00:36:05.000 I have an idea- Well now they're everywhere.

00:36:06.000 We were the first, but now you're on the subway, and you know when you're on the subway and you get on the MTA subway thing, they're tracking your every move.

00:36:14.000 Did not know that.

00:36:15.000 Yeah dude, every time- Oh I don't- Nothing is free, my friend.

00:36:18.000 I don't join their Wi-Fi.

00:36:20.000 Okay, I usually resist doing that But yeah, so that's a I gotta tell you have to remind me. 0.68

00:36:25.000 I have a good invention and I don't want to air it No, it's it's a good I gotta say my I'm 48 years old I'm a half a century old without exception when people say that the idea is so hair whitening Lee stupid that I sometimes get dizzy and

00:36:42.000 Doesn't help that I'm, I'm blasted on Coke right now.

00:36:45.000 It's just a Coke idea.

00:36:46.000 No, I'm just kidding.

00:36:48.000 Want to hear one of the worst ones I got?

00:36:49.000 Oh yeah.

00:36:50.000 This guy, and he was, they're always very hush hush about it.

00:36:53.000 So I have to like, it's like getting, I have to interrogate them and stuff.

00:36:56.000 And eventually they, they snap, they crack.

00:36:59.000 And they tell me their incredible idea after I swear on a stack of Bibles, I won't steal it from them and get rich.

00:37:03.000 And then you're about to say it right now.

00:37:05.000 Oh, he told me this almost 10 years ago.

00:37:09.000 10 years ago?

00:37:10.000 What happened there?

00:37:14.000 That would be a cool thing.

00:37:14.000 You know how we were saying everyone needs a cool thing about them?

00:37:17.000 I'm just gonna have this stuttering affectation.

00:37:19.000 Oh yeah, that's fun.

00:37:20.000 I always thought that would be a cool idea for a rapper.

00:37:22.000 Don't steal this idea!

00:37:23.000 But it's all like...

00:37:25.000 You know when, like, when the hoo-wees all, like, why don't you all f-f-f-f-f-fade away? 1.00

00:37:30.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:31.000 But like, yo, what's up?

00:37:32.000 I'm si-si-si-si-si-six feet too deadly as ice.

00:37:36.000 The power to fight with the l-l-l-laws that are... Wouldn't that be cool? 1.00

00:37:40.000 Yeah, it's like the song's different every time.

00:37:41.000 Now you're stuttering!

00:37:43.000 Did I? 1.00

00:37:43.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:37:46.000 You know, stuttering is an affectation, actually. 1.00

00:37:47.000 I've noticed this with anglophiles.

00:37:49.000 American anglophiles do it because it's an affectation in Britain, and it's an affectation of Britain because a king... Remember the king's speech?

00:37:56.000 W-w-w-w-where'd you say that?

00:37:58.000 What happened with this king?

00:38:00.000 It's like a style.

00:38:03.000 Same with the Spanish in Barth- Barthelona. 0.97

00:38:06.000 Barthelona?

00:38:06.000 The king had a lisp and he couldn't say Barcelona he'd say Barthelona and then everyone started talking like that and saying Barthelona.

00:38:13.000 That's why we don't button the bottom buttons on our suits because the king was too fat to button the bottom button so nobody buttons.

00:38:21.000 Really?

00:38:22.000 Because then they're saying yeah they're skinnier than him. 1.00

00:38:24.000 Shut up. 0.99

00:38:25.000 No, really. 1.00

00:38:26.000 Really?

00:38:26.000 That's the tradition behind not buttoning the bottom button.

00:38:29.000 So what was this invention?

00:38:31.000 So the Brits, the Brits upper class developed this thing, right?

00:38:36.000 I think mostly.

00:38:38.000 There's people who are frightened, obviously.

00:38:41.000 You're going to have the populace being frightened.

00:38:45.000 I think you're also going to notice a bit of forebearing pulchritude.

00:38:53.000 S-s-s-sodio.

00:38:54.000 Especially with Phil Collins.

00:38:57.000 He was dating a woman and s-s-s-s-sodio was her name.

00:39:00.000 Sh-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n 1.00

00:39:14.000 And then you get Americans that want to sound erudite.

00:39:17.000 I'm probably using that word wrong.

00:39:20.000 And they say, they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:23.000 So I agree.

00:39:24.000 I mean, I have to agree with you, Gavin, but, but, but, but, but, but.

00:39:29.000 I do notice. 0.95

00:39:30.000 The only thing more irritating than that is on Tucker Carlson when the guests always fucking say, Tucker, stop doing that. 0.96

00:39:36.000 You know, Gavin, you're absolutely right. 0.96

00:39:38.000 We're not friends!

00:39:39.000 And they do that on 60 Minutes, too.

00:39:40.000 Yeah, actually, Dan, what a... Oh, you guys are pals?

00:39:43.000 And we're just eavesdropping on two buddies at the pub?

00:39:47.000 Stop talking like you're pals! 1.00

00:39:48.000 When people call Robert De Niro Bob in an interview, I'm like, I want to jump through the fucking TV and smash you. 0.99

00:39:54.000 Robert De Niro's my friend. 0.99

00:39:55.000 I call him Bob.

00:39:57.000 Even if I did call him Bob, I would always call him Robert De Niro in interviews.

00:40:02.000 I even think it's irritating to use the word fans.

00:40:04.000 Don't say my fans.

00:40:06.000 Yeah, a lot of my fans are just a lot of the people that follow what I do.

00:40:09.000 I know it takes too long.

00:40:10.000 I hate the word fans.

00:40:12.000 I was on Mushrooms with my friend, BK.

00:40:15.000 They call him BK, and he was like, dude, I always liked that you called me Brian instead of BK.

00:40:19.000 Everybody calls me BK, but

00:40:21.000 That means, like, you're a real friend.

00:40:22.000 He told me that when he was on Mushrooms.

00:40:24.000 And then, since that day, I, like, forgot which one was which, so I just switch it up.

00:40:29.000 Hey, BK?

00:40:31.000 And then look to see if his pupils dilate.

00:40:33.000 Yeah, he's like, what, are we not cool right now?

00:40:36.000 I mean, right, right, right.

00:40:37.000 Yeah.

00:40:38.000 Anyway.

00:40:39.000 So what was that invention, though?

00:40:42.000 What was what invention? 1.00

00:40:43.000 The stupid invention? 1.00

00:40:44.000 Oh yeah, yeah, sorry, thanks for reminding me. 1.00

00:40:46.000 So he goes, it's like Twitter, kind of a thing, but it's these groups you get on, right?

00:40:51.000 But instead of tweeting, you can only share lists.

00:40:57.000 And you have a network of people, it could be a thousand, it could be five.

00:41:01.000 And then you come up with a list, like, best horror movies of all time.

00:41:05.000 And you list your ten, and then they can list their ten.

00:41:09.000 And then you and your group exchange the list of the best horror movies of all time.

00:41:14.000 And he thought this was going to be huge!

00:41:17.000 And I go, but that's just Twitter, or that's just a group text.

00:41:21.000 And if someone sent me their 10 list of scariest movies of all time, I might get round to mine in like a year.

00:41:28.000 Right.

00:41:29.000 I don't have time to sit here and list my, and I feel that way, I bet that's the way with all of our friends.

00:41:35.000 I bet if we went out and said, Hey man, Gavin's doing a thing, he'll pay you 50 bucks to list your best horror movies of all time.

00:41:41.000 I bet I would get, start getting them in about two weeks.

00:41:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:41:46.000 That's a really dumb question. 0.99

00:41:47.000 It's like, hey, you know Twitter? 1.00

00:41:49.000 I have a really limited version of Twitter and it's gonna... That's a pain in the ass and gives all your friends homework. 0.84

00:41:57.000 Or this other guy, his big secret idea was, I'm going to have a YouTube page, but I'm not putting anything up on it. 0.87

00:42:02.000 I just curate playlists.

00:42:05.000 So you go to mine.

00:42:06.000 You mean like everybody?

00:42:07.000 And I go, you mean a YouTube account.

00:42:09.000 What are you talking about?

00:42:11.000 Oh wow, because Led Zeppelin's got a lot of YouTube accounts.

00:42:13.000 It's weird.

00:42:14.000 I'm going to open a new kind of restaurant.

00:42:16.000 It serves food.

00:42:18.000 What are you talking about?

00:42:19.000 That's what YouTube is.

00:42:21.000 You click on things you like.

00:42:23.000 Oh, you're going to organize them better?

00:42:24.000 He goes, no, it's like a museum.

00:42:25.000 I'm a curator.

00:42:26.000 So it's like an art exhibit.

00:42:28.000 I choose the artists.

00:42:29.000 Yeah, that's what everyone does.

00:42:30.000 It's called clicking like.

00:42:32.000 It's called a disc jockey. 1.00

00:42:34.000 With fucking videos. 1.00

00:42:35.000 Not even! 1.00

00:42:36.000 It's like putting, uh, bedazzling the wheel.

00:42:39.000 Yeah, it's like clicking like on Instagram and thinking you're doing something.

00:42:43.000 Right.

00:42:43.000 By the way, sorry, did we finish this Motley Crue talk?

00:42:47.000 There was a story that, uh, the Record Exec started, where, did I explain this yet?

00:42:53.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, you talked about this.

00:42:55.000 Where the cutlery went into the ceiling?

00:42:56.000 Yeah.

00:42:57.000 Are you sure?

00:42:58.000 Yep.

00:42:59.000 On this podcast?

00:43:00.000 Yes, because in this one I started trying to Google his name.

00:43:04.000 You got that done right up top, pretty much.

00:43:06.000 Okay, sorry.

00:43:07.000 I just had that open on my computer screen and I want to make sure we have no stones unturned.

00:43:13.000 Yeah, so...

00:43:15.000 This, what I'm seeing now with journalism and this, the general populace, the political discourse has become willful ignorance.

00:43:22.000 And it's my team versus your team.

00:43:25.000 And it's got to the point where they want Trump to fail.

00:43:29.000 They want our team to fail, even if it hurts the country.

00:43:32.000 Like I've had horrible, dark thoughts that are demonic, where I want Aaron Judge to hurt himself.

00:43:40.000 Who's Aaron Judge?

00:43:41.000 Is he a pitcher?

00:43:42.000 Yeah, he's one of the greatest baseball players of all time and he's on the Yankees and he's eating us alive.

00:43:49.000 I've had bad Yankees thoughts.

00:43:52.000 Now, that's a terrible thing to go through your head, to want someone to die.

00:43:56.000 Not die, but be hurt.

00:43:57.000 And for what reason?

00:43:58.000 For the most selfish, small reason.

00:44:01.000 The Mets might make one tier slightly higher.

00:44:05.000 That's crazy.

00:44:07.000 Really?

00:44:07.000 Everyone wants that.

00:44:09.000 Now, here's the thing.

00:44:10.000 I'm not going to go hit his knees with a baseball bat.

00:44:13.000 That's different.

00:44:15.000 But if something were to happen to him, and it had nothing to do with me, then that's God, or nature, or whatever, and that's just my luck.

00:44:22.000 So you're allowed to, I would never pray in a billion years for anything bad to happen to a rival team, but sometimes you have bad thoughts.

00:44:30.000 And that's what journalism is, but openly. 0.99

00:44:33.000 Like Bill Maher, he said on his show, he said, I want the economy to start sucking so people can see what a cocksucker Trump is. 0.99

00:44:42.000 And Mike Cernovich brought up a good point. 0.99

00:44:43.000 He said, when the economy is bad, suicide rates go up, especially among men.

00:44:48.000 So you want men to die so you can be right? 1.00

00:44:51.000 Yeah, little families struggling, just like, you know, overwhelmed by their financial problems. 0.85

00:44:56.000 Or even, here's a great example, when there was the caravan going up to the border, I think a lot of lefties were wanting them to get shot.

00:45:02.000 Were wanting like a child to be hurt.

00:45:05.000 Ideally there's some blood, and then they can show the picture and be like, this is Trump's America.

00:45:10.000 What have you done?

00:45:12.000 And I bet if you gave them truth serum, they'd go, look, it was sad that that kid got hurt, but it was very good for us.

00:45:19.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:45:21.000 And I think the right does that too.

00:45:24.000 When there's a shooting and they're like, please be Muslim, please be Muslim, please be Muslim, please be Muslim. 0.99

00:45:30.000 If it's just a crazy lunatic, then it doesn't make any points. 0.99

00:45:34.000 But if it's a Muslim, then we can say, see, I told you there was a pattern here. 1.00

00:45:38.000 So I think both sides, when there's a shooting—oh my god, this is a horrible thing to admit, but I think it's good because both sides are guilty of this—I think both sides, when there's a shooting, are combing through the article, and the left is looking for a MAGA hat, or a Confederate flag, or Trump likes on Facebook, and the right is just poring through the article looking for the word Mohammed.

00:46:02.000 Absolutely.

00:46:04.000 Or, you know, for him to be Antifa, or not just left, but some sort of established leftist, like a politically active DNC person. 0.98

00:46:16.000 And that's a shitty place to be, by the way, America. 0.92

00:46:19.000 And I'm guilty of some of that stuff. 0.97

00:46:21.000 But

00:46:23.000 We're really at a time of the most petty discourse, not just journalism but social media, this whole thing with me and everyone I know being deplatformed and now you can't, I mean I have this podcast for now, we'll see how long this lasts, but

00:46:40.000 Tucker knew this was going to happen.

00:46:41.000 He said, we're getting into this weird zone where there's just bubbles and you're on your little Facebook group and you have your bubble and then lies can propagate.

00:46:49.000 Like that lie about how all illegals are here from planes. 0.85

00:46:52.000 That lie is just considered a fact now.

00:46:54.000 I hear it on Howard Stern all the time.

00:46:57.000 And that's because you don't have someone else going in there and going, actually, that's not true.

00:47:01.000 Statistically, blah, blah, blah.

00:47:02.000 And you're just talking about the documented one.

00:47:03.000 I used to do that on Twitter all the time.

00:47:05.000 I go, that's actually a 1984 stat.

00:47:07.000 And since 1996, it's been totally different here.

00:47:09.000 That's a common myth.

00:47:10.000 And then you show the link.

00:47:11.000 But you can't do that anymore. 0.98

00:47:13.000 That's the kind of shit that makes flat earthers, by the way, too. 0.99

00:47:15.000 Yes. 1.00

00:47:15.000 There's no checks and balances. 1.00

00:47:17.000 And I forget who was saying this, and I probably said this on the podcast before, but pressure cookers have valves.

00:47:22.000 And Owen Benjamin, Laura Loomer, Milo Yiannopoulos, me, we're all valves.

00:47:29.000 And you took the screws and you screwed those valves shut now.

00:47:33.000 It's not a great analogy because the idea of steel on steel, screwing into a steel valve, it makes my teeth hurt.

00:47:40.000 Like the crunchiness of it?

00:47:41.000 Maybe it makes like a high-pitched... I hate that stuff, yeah.

00:47:47.000 Nails on a chalkboard and stuff.

00:47:51.000 Yeah, when you take away this dialogue and this ability to argue, and you make it all about the bubble, the pressure cooker just keeps cooking and cooking and cooking and cooking, and it's not going to be good.

00:48:02.000 I mean, talk of civil war used to be for the eccentrics like Alex Jones, but now you're hearing it more from the less right-wing people like Tucker Carlson.

00:48:14.000 Yeah.

00:48:15.000 Civil war is kind of happening in various ways.

00:48:17.000 Like it's, you know how Info Wars was the name of Alex Jones thing?

00:48:22.000 And then it starts becoming more and more like, no, this is really Info Wars.

00:48:26.000 Yeah.

00:48:26.000 Is the irony lost on you that his company is called Info Wars and they're out to shut down his information and he's at war with them?

00:48:34.000 Yeah, and it's like, hey, it's like taking somebody's pawn on a chessboard.

00:48:38.000 You're like, I found this article.

00:48:40.000 I found this article.

00:48:41.000 Checkmate.

00:48:41.000 Until this article is written.

00:48:43.000 Actually, Alex Jones is a great example of the left and the right and how totally different they see the world.

00:48:47.000 To the left, he's the Sandy Hook guy and will be forever.

00:48:51.000 To the right, we go, oh yeah, that was that terrible thing, terrible concept he talked about seven years ago.

00:49:00.000 And that's when he was a lot nuttier.

00:49:02.000 Now he's, 1.00

00:49:05.000 We need shit disturbers. 1.00

00:49:06.000 And he forgives it. 0.99

00:49:07.000 And he said he was wrong.

00:49:08.000 He apologized for it and took it back.

00:49:11.000 That's a big move.

00:49:14.000 Why aren't we allowed to rehabilitate people?

00:49:16.000 When right-wing people talk about Alex Jones, they never mention Sandy Hook.

00:49:18.000 Because they've forgotten about that.

00:49:20.000 They've moved on.

00:49:21.000 Sensationalism.

00:49:22.000 We don't remember people by the most sensational things about them.

00:49:26.000 Well, yeah, that's the thing with the left.

00:49:27.000 Like when I was at that bar, I know I've said this a hundred times, but the guy was selling wine.

00:49:31.000 He said, I have a lovely wine from South Africa.

00:49:33.000 And the guy said, no, thanks.

00:49:34.000 I'm not interested in South African wine.

00:49:36.000 And I felt like saying, uh, have you checked it on that place recently?

00:49:39.000 Like say the past 25 years?

00:49:42.000 Cause it's, apartheid's not around anymore, my friend.

00:49:46.000 Check out the farmers and their children being boiled alive.

00:49:50.000 Oh, I see. 0.93

00:49:51.000 If you're boycotting anything, it should be because of the corrupt ANC government, the Marxists, who are murdering people.

00:49:58.000 It's not a racist place.

00:49:59.000 So his idea of the whole place is stained with the one... Yeah, but that's how curious people are. 0.94

00:50:04.000 They're mentally obese.

00:50:06.000 And they just stick with that one narrative. 0.97

00:50:09.000 Oh, that's that guy.

00:50:10.000 He did that thing.

00:50:11.000 He's the bad man.

00:50:13.000 And it's really dangerous.

00:50:15.000 By the way, speaking of Laura Loomer, did you hear what she just did?

00:50:18.000 It was a number one topic, I think on Twitter, and they kicked it off.

00:50:21.000 Is when she jumped Pelosi's yard with illegals? 0.98

00:50:25.000 Yes.

00:50:26.000 Is that the one? 0.99

00:50:27.000 I think Pelosi has like a vineyard or something, but this big beautiful place in Napa Valley or whatever the fuck it is. 0.99

00:50:32.000 And she went there with a bunch of illegal aliens and they set up tents. 1.00

00:50:38.000 And she went to the door and... Isn't that trespassing? 0.99

00:50:43.000 I mean, she knew that she wouldn't be there.

00:50:47.000 And she said, well, Nancy Pelosi said everyone is welcome here.

00:50:50.000 So I thought that it would be cool if we just camped out.

00:50:53.000 Maybe other people could come here and stuff.

00:50:58.000 That's, that's ballsy.

00:51:02.000 And then she said, uh, my, she kept calling the illegals.

00:51:05.000 She brought her amigos.

00:51:07.000 And then when they kicked them all off the property, she goes, they're deporting us.

00:51:11.000 They're deporting me and my amigos.

00:51:14.000 Now, Laura Loomer's done stuff like she's, uh, she's, uh, chased Uma Abedin down the street. 1.00

00:51:21.000 I wasn't bananas about that.

00:51:22.000 Although you should look up Uma Abedin's mother and her publication, but, um, 0.98

00:51:28.000 You need shit disturbers, you know? 0.91

00:51:30.000 You need people there. 0.99

00:51:31.000 I like that there's all these conspiracy theory nuts, because some of them are true. 0.95

00:51:36.000 Sometimes you find out that they really are making the frogs gay. 0.99

00:51:40.000 I mean, estrogen in the water supply is affecting amphibians, and amphibians, they can choose their gender at a very early stage, and they tend to be making more female amphibians because they're confused by this extra estrogen in the water supply. 0.71

00:51:53.000 That's a very boring way to say, they're turning the frogs gay! 1.00

00:51:56.000 Right. 0.85

00:51:58.000 So you need stuff like that, and sometimes you look it up and it's wrong.

00:52:01.000 By the way, you talk about like hate speech or something, all I read when I read the paper is hate speech.

00:52:08.000 Hate speech about conservatives, hate speech about Trump.

00:52:11.000 And I have to constantly be looking up going, did he really say that?

00:52:14.000 Like the time they said that he reads Hitler's speeches every night.

00:52:17.000 He's got Hitler's speeches on the nightstand.

00:52:20.000 That's our president.

00:52:21.000 And I went, Jesus, that's brutal.

00:52:24.000 If that's true, lefties, you made a hell of a point.

00:52:28.000 I didn't know that.

00:52:29.000 Maybe you're right.

00:52:30.000 Then I look it up.

00:52:32.000 And about 15 years ago, he was reading Hitler's speeches.

00:52:37.000 And he has a bookshelf in his room because he's rich and his room is giant.

00:52:41.000 And he has room for a bookshelf.

00:52:44.000 And among the other tons of books that were probably all over the map, one of them was a book of Hitler's speeches.

00:52:50.000 I heard it was given to him and they suggested he read it.

00:52:53.000 You should read Hitler's speeches. 0.51

00:52:54.000 You should read Che Guevara's speeches.

00:52:55.000 You should read Fidel Castro's speeches.

00:52:57.000 That's a huge part of history is reading speeches.

00:53:00.000 How many times when they talk about Churchill do they talk about his speeches?

00:53:03.000 Right.

00:53:04.000 He's just a good guy speech.

00:53:05.000 You should read Mao's speeches.

00:53:06.000 You should read Stalin's speeches.

00:53:08.000 You should read everything.

00:53:10.000 How did this guy convince that many people?

00:53:13.000 What was he saying?

00:53:15.000 And it was his wife who brought it up during a divorce, so she was trying to make him look bad.

00:53:20.000 But that becomes, he reads Hitler every night before bed and falls asleep with Mein Kampf on his chest, dreaming of having Nazi fantasies. 0.99

00:53:28.000 But the question is, when people say this, like when that guy said that it was on MSNBC, he's gotta know that that's bullshit. 0.99

00:53:36.000 It's sort of like when Obama said that women get paid less. 0.99

00:53:38.000 Do they know this?

00:53:39.000 And this sort of goes back to what we were saying before. 0.98

00:53:43.000 There's people fucking around, like Nikki Sixx, when he's in Motley Crue. 0.99

00:53:47.000 He doesn't really like Satan. 0.99

00:53:52.000 First of all, he never said, shout at the devil.

00:53:54.000 That record exec is definitely lying, because we read the lyrics to Shout at the Devil, and it's an anti-devil song.

00:54:00.000 Um, but he doesn't believe in Satan in the way that, you know, uh, heavy metal guys think they can summon him and they can use his powers with curses and spells and all that shit. 0.93

00:54:12.000 That's just a joke. 0.84

00:54:12.000 It's just fashion. 0.84

00:54:14.000 And that's fine.

00:54:15.000 I think that's healthy in music and pop culture to have fashions.

00:54:20.000 Mods and rockers fighting on the beach.

00:54:22.000 That was really cool and interesting.

00:54:23.000 In the 1960s, mods and rockers would go to this one beach in Britain for rioting and they would just fight on the beach.

00:54:32.000 And the rockers, their only beef was music.

00:54:35.000 Mods liked more traditional northern soul and British music, and the rockers liked Elvis Presley and Eddie Cochran and all that. 0.99

00:54:42.000 That was the impetus for the whole fucking war. 0.98

00:54:46.000 And it went on every summer, I believe. 0.99

00:54:48.000 Anyway, that's silly. 0.95

00:54:50.000 That's just kids, greasy kids stuff. 0.94

00:54:50.000 That's fun. 0.94

00:54:52.000 But now that it's on the news and the guy's lying, that's different. 1.00

00:54:58.000 Now we're turning America into a bitter tattletale bullshit session where people are being woefully ignorant of the truth and trying to get other people hurt, sometimes killed. 1.00

00:55:14.000 That's an issue. 1.00

00:55:16.000 And that's where we're at today.

00:55:18.000 So we started out having something sacred and that was, all right, there's the truth.

00:55:23.000 And if you're a serious newscaster, you're telling the truth and you want to get to the bottom of it.

00:55:29.000 You don't say that the president secretly reads Hitler speeches every night.

00:55:32.000 But that day's gone.

00:55:33.000 Now we're all acting like Nikki Sixx. 0.84

00:55:36.000 We're all acting like Motley Crue, pretending that Trump is Satan.

00:55:43.000 Do you get what I'm saying?

00:55:44.000 Yeah.

00:55:46.000 It's a lot of hype, and it's all negative, really.

00:55:48.000 It's mental obesity, it's incurious...incuriosity.

00:55:51.000 And it's...I think it's wrong, too, because... It's morally wrong.

00:55:54.000 I'm taking a stand.

00:55:55.000 And, by the way, speaking of Satan, it's a great breeding ground for...for evil.

00:56:01.000 Yeah, because now you dehumanize people so you can do whatever you want to do with them. 0.99

00:56:05.000 Yeah, go kill Ann Coulter. 1.00

00:56:06.000 She's not a person. 1.00

00:56:07.000 Go witchcraft them with the effigy and fucking light it on fire and shit. 1.00

00:56:10.000 I mean, hold Trump's decapitated head up. 1.00

00:56:13.000 The left has dehumanized him so much that they fantasize about him dying. 0.96

00:56:18.000 Check this out.

00:56:19.000 I was watching this video.

00:56:20.000 They talked to people on the streets and it was like, what do people think of Trump?

00:56:24.000 And at the end of it, she's like, she's talking to her co-host and the co-host is like, unfortunately, I think Trump's going to win.

00:56:30.000 She's like, why do you say that?

00:56:31.000 She says, I think I don't know a lot of people that are going to vote for him.

00:56:34.000 She's like, well, what can we do?

00:56:35.000 He's like, well, I'll just cast my vote against him, and that's all I could do.

00:56:38.000 She says this.

00:56:39.000 She says, well, I heard of people taking their grandparents' passports away, so that way they can't vote, because usually they vote conservative, so maybe that's something you could do?

00:56:49.000 That's a good idea!

00:56:49.000 Yeah!

00:56:50.000 Un-fucking-believable, isn't it? 0.93

00:56:51.000 That's it! 0.99

00:56:51.000 And then you could also just lock them in the basement with some food and a bucket for shitting in. 0.99

00:56:56.000 Or yeah, you don't even need the food really. 0.96

00:56:58.000 I mean, it's just one day. 0.99

00:56:59.000 Like what the fuck is the matter with it? 0.99

00:57:01.000 And then you take it away. 1.00

00:57:02.000 Hey folks at home, lock your grandparents in the basement.

00:57:06.000 Yeah.

00:57:07.000 That's a good idea.

00:57:07.000 Take away their rights to vote.

00:57:09.000 Take away their expression because you don't agree with it. 0.99

00:57:12.000 And you're a dumb young kid and they've experienced way more than you ever have. 0.99

00:57:15.000 Unbelievable. 1.00

00:57:16.000 And she says this with like giggling.

00:57:18.000 I've heard people saying, if your husband supports Trump, you should divorce him.

00:57:22.000 I'm not talking about me, although that's happened a million times, but I'm talking about like the New York Post, like articles, writing, people saying this, couples getting divorced, Thanksgiving, Christmas.

00:57:33.000 And I was talking to someone the other day and she said, look, I disagree with pretty much everything you say, but I think you have the right to say that whole thing.

00:57:41.000 And I said, I don't believe in disagreeing.

00:57:44.000 I don't think we disagree.

00:57:46.000 I think whatever we disagreed on, like immigration, we could lock ourselves in a room with computers and researchers and stay up all night and we would come out of that room on the same page.

00:57:58.000 Like with music, you have to agree to disagree, but with political ideology, isn't it just accrued data?

00:58:05.000 Subjective, yeah.

00:58:06.000 Objective, yep.

00:58:07.000 Like that whole thing about the immigration to Plains.

00:58:10.000 Everyone had 100% of the facts, like almost sentient levels of information.

00:58:15.000 I don't see how they could disagree.

00:58:16.000 I remember a black guy said that to me at Fox News. 0.98

00:58:18.000 He goes, yo man, I don't, I don't agree with a lot of what you say, but man, I like that you got the balls to say it. 0.97

00:58:23.000 And I'm, I felt, I didn't, we didn't have time. 0.92

00:58:25.000 We're walking down the hallway, but I was like, which one?

00:58:27.000 Like my views on free lunches?

00:58:29.000 Well,

00:58:30.000 I think it's a scam that the schools use.

00:58:33.000 There's seven million dollars in debt.

00:58:34.000 A turkey sandwich I worked out costs like a dollar three. 0.97

00:58:38.000 If you can't get a dollar three together, you're worse than a bum. 0.97

00:58:40.000 Bums get ten bucks together for their vodka.

00:58:44.000 I don't think it's the school's job to provide lunch.

00:58:47.000 Actually, you know what's funny about that one?

00:58:50.000 I had like an eight hour discussion with David Cross about free lunches and after, with research and everything, and after all that, he still disagreed with me.

00:58:59.000 So it has happened to me once, where we had all the data and we still disagreed, but now because politics is sports, it's just like, hey man, you're a Yankees guy, I'm a Mets guy, and I disagree with a lot of what you guys do, but I respect that you play baseball well.

00:59:13.000 It's not sports.

00:59:14.000 It's not music.

00:59:16.000 It's not sports.

00:59:17.000 They should admit that there's no factual foundation to their feeling.

00:59:21.000 It's a feeling.

00:59:22.000 I just don't like him.

00:59:22.000 I've been told nothing but bad things about him.

00:59:24.000 I turn on the TV, hear nothing but bad things about him.

00:59:27.000 I just don't like him.

00:59:27.000 They don't watch Dinesh D'Souza's thing on the history of the Democrats or anything.

00:59:31.000 They don't want to be converted. 0.99

00:59:33.000 I remember I had a Jehovah's Witness

00:59:34.000 At my house once and they said, we'd like to recommend some reading and stuff.

00:59:38.000 And I said, well, I'd like to.

00:59:39.000 I was I was much younger.

00:59:40.000 I was probably like 22 back when you waste your time with arguing with people like that.

00:59:44.000 And I said, OK, well, I'd like to show you some literature.

00:59:47.000 And they said, well, does it provide hope?

00:59:49.000 And I said, not necessarily.

00:59:51.000 And they go, well, I would rather spend my time doing other things.

00:59:54.000 So we're getting to the point of religious puritanism, where it's just their religion and they don't want to be changed.

01:00:01.000 I want to be changed.

01:00:02.000 In fact, I would argue, you're not a man unless you change your mind about something major once a year.

01:00:09.000 And you're not changing your mind, you're evolving.

01:00:11.000 Right.

01:00:12.000 You're getting more informed and you're realizing that you were wrong about that.

01:00:15.000 Bruce Lee said that about his fights.

01:00:17.000 Really?

01:00:17.000 And for his life, yeah.

01:00:18.000 Be like water.

01:00:20.000 Water is liquid and it takes whatever form necessary to exist in whatever container arise.

01:00:26.000 That was racist of you, by the way. 0.92

01:00:28.000 Because you're Japanese, you can't do a Chinese thing. 1.00

01:00:30.000 Oh, fudge. 0.99

01:00:31.000 Yeah.

01:00:32.000 But he says if you crystallize too much, then you'll break. 0.87

01:00:34.000 And then if you're too gaseous, then you'll fuckin' flow away. 0.90

01:00:37.000 Great point. 0.96

01:00:37.000 That's what happened to America. 0.96

01:00:38.000 We crystallized, and now we're breaking.

01:00:40.000 Yep.

01:00:40.000 I don't like the crystallization of America.

01:00:42.000 You know, you look at skateboarders.

01:00:43.000 They don't do any trick that they can do.

01:00:46.000 Huh?

01:00:47.000 Because that's a waste of time.

01:00:48.000 Oh, they're always on the fringe.

01:00:49.000 They've already mastered an Ollie kickflip.

01:00:51.000 Same with guitar. 0.99

01:00:52.000 It's like you're always playing to where you sound shitty. 0.95

01:00:55.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:00:55.000 You can play things that make you sound good. 0.94

01:00:56.000 Watch kids skate.

01:00:57.000 All they're doing is wrecking their legs and falling.

01:01:00.000 Yeah.

01:01:00.000 Because they can already do all those other tricks.

01:01:02.000 That's so true.

01:01:03.000 So, you know, you watch them sometimes they'll do a rail slide or something.

01:01:06.000 And just to sort of like, I wouldn't mind not falling just once.

01:01:10.000 But 90% of the time they're, you know, destroying themselves.

01:01:13.000 Trying to get that extra rotation or whatever?

01:01:15.000 Yeah, trying to get better, trying to improve.

01:01:17.000 Yeah.

01:01:17.000 And I think mentally we're the opposite.

01:01:19.000 We're just sitting here doing the same ollie again and again.

01:01:22.000 Click, click, click, click.

01:01:24.000 By the way, that's why I was falling so much on that hill.

01:01:26.000 I was just trying new carves and stuff when we went snowboarding. 1.00

01:01:29.000 No, you were falling a lot because you suck. 0.99

01:01:31.000 I could have easily just went down. 0.99

01:01:33.000 In fact, you saw me sometimes just like kind of going down, but I was trying to improve.

01:01:36.000 No, you would fall sometimes every ten feet, and my five-year-old would just whiz past you with his arms in the air going, yeah!

01:01:44.000 I did remember, yeah.

01:01:46.000 My five-year-old could destroy you.

01:01:49.000 I'd had some good moments, okay, and you can't take that away from me.

01:01:52.000 That should be on your gravestone.

01:01:56.000 I had some good moments.

01:01:57.000 That's funny.

01:01:59.000 Yeah, remember I said to you on the ski hose, I said, you need to look in the mirror and go, I'm capable.

01:02:06.000 I'm capable.

01:02:07.000 I'm capable.

01:02:09.000 Because I think it's important that you get better at lying.

01:02:11.000 Yeah, the exact words, because I'll never forget them now that I'm damaged.

01:02:15.000 You were like, I'm sitting there wiping snow off my face, I'm like, and you're like, I need you to look in the mirror when you get home and say, I'm not a spaz. 0.99

01:02:23.000 I'm not a spaz.

01:02:25.000 Spaz, I thought about it, it brought me back to, you probably were thinking like 14 year old Gavin that was like hitting the slopes and you're like, spaz?

01:02:34.000 I never heard you say spaz.

01:02:35.000 Well that's, when you, when you look at you ski, and the way you fall too, you don't even fall right.

01:02:40.000 You just think spaz.

01:02:41.000 It's like someone put dynamite under your snowboard or something.

01:02:45.000 You don't, you don't go oof, you sort of go bleh! 0.98

01:02:49.000 And flip forward. 0.95

01:02:50.000 And it's very spaz-like. 1.00

01:02:53.000 Ah, that's funny.

01:02:55.000 Alright, so have we made our point here?

01:02:57.000 It's a weird episode, because we're talking about sort of two different things.

01:02:57.000 Yep.

01:03:01.000 Demons.

01:03:02.000 There's the Alex Jones version of Satan, where you picture actual demons, like roaming the earth, that have horns and stuff, right?

01:03:11.000 Then there's the more sort of scholarly, academic version of Satan, which is, it just means evil, it's just a synonym for bad.

01:03:20.000 And I am drifting towards the demony stuff.

01:03:24.000 So that's one point.

01:03:26.000 And don't take that out of context and say Gavin says he's becoming Alex Jones.

01:03:30.000 I'm just saying that some things are so dark that they don't look like a simple metaphor for evil.

01:03:36.000 They almost look so sinister.

01:03:38.000 It almost appears as if someone's behind it.

01:03:41.000 Some dark force is behind it.

01:03:43.000 Seeing a child dance on a stage sexually and with money and everyone laughing and clapping.

01:03:50.000 That is demonic.

01:03:53.000 And seeing a multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical company facilitate the deaths of... what are we at now?

01:04:02.000 Thousands? 0.98

01:04:03.000 I mean it's hard to talk about because heroin was around killing people but this recent wave is fucking insane and it should dominate the news. 0.97

01:04:11.000 50% of the news should be about it. 0.99

01:04:13.000 People throwing piss on Lauren Southern. 0.99

01:04:15.000 Demon. 0.97

01:04:16.000 They see her, and she thinks a certain way, she says certain things. 0.99

01:04:20.000 Piss on her. 1.00

01:04:20.000 What? 1.00

01:04:21.000 She's banned from... that 100 pound, 25 year old little girl... With an amazing ass. 1.00

01:04:28.000 That was always my favorite thing that you said. 1.00

01:04:30.000 You just don't see it coming.

01:04:31.000 You just compliment her.

01:04:33.000 This smart, beautiful, 100 pound...

01:04:36.000 Yeah, she's banned from Britain for eternity. 1.00

01:04:39.000 She cannot go there when she's 89 for the horrible things she did, and she said

01:04:54.000 The horrible thing she did was a sort of a joke performance art thing where she pretended that she was an a-la LGBT. 1.00

01:05:00.000 A-la for gays. 1.00

01:05:01.000 A-la for queers or something. 1.00

01:05:02.000 Which is a thing I've seen in America, at women's marches and stuff. 0.93

01:05:04.000 And I've seen like rainbow burkas and stuff.

01:05:06.000 So all she was doing was bringing that sort of liberalism to a radical Islamic part of Luton in UK, which is kind of a suicidal move. 0.98

01:05:16.000 Yeah.

01:05:20.000 That's all she did.

01:05:21.000 And so ultimately, she's banned for blasphemy.

01:05:24.000 Unbelievable.

01:05:26.000 In the Western world, a woman is banned for blasphemy. 0.92

01:05:30.000 How hard did we work to separate church and state?

01:05:30.000 Wow.

01:05:33.000 How much bloodshed was that?

01:05:37.000 Especially in Britain, that's where it started. 0.98

01:05:39.000 In Scotland, Scotland invented the idea of separating church and state, and a lot of heads rolled, and they finally did it.

01:05:46.000 And then Lauren blasphemes Islam and she can't go back.

01:05:49.000 But anyway, so we talked about that thing, how we're getting kind of conspiratorial and spooked out by how evil some things can be.

01:05:58.000 And we're being irrational about it at this point?

01:06:01.000 Me and Ryan I'm talking about?

01:06:02.000 Yes.

01:06:03.000 And then secondly, and I think the two you could argue are related, secondly the discourse in this country and the way we're all talking has drifted from any kind of rational behavior and become kind of religious puritanism.

01:06:16.000 Basically I guess the theme of this show is we're going back in time.

01:06:20.000 We're getting back to Victorian England. 0.89

01:06:23.000 And we are not amused, and we're worried about blasphemy, and we don't speak to the lower classes.

01:06:29.000 Public executions on social media.

01:06:32.000 It really is. 1.00

01:06:32.000 Gather around and watch this person be banned and fucking punished. 1.00

01:06:35.000 And maybe that's why that Motley Crue thing I found so interesting. 0.98

01:06:39.000 Because all this good and evil that's going on here in this massive dichotomy, it made the song so much more intense.

01:06:46.000 It's not just a silly 80s metal song anymore.

01:06:49.000 It's the vision of the future.

01:06:52.000 Those who have the youth have the future.

01:06:55.000 So come now, children of the beast.

01:06:58.000 Be strong and shout at the devil!

01:07:10.000 God, they must have been impressed with themselves.

01:07:13.000 That is a jammer.

01:07:17.000 I met Tommy Lee once, actually.

01:07:18.000 Did I ever tell you that? 0.98

01:07:19.000 I was going to say, if I ever meet Tommy Lee, I'm going to say to him, whenever you're drumming, do you ever go, holy fuck, I'm good at this. 0.95

01:07:26.000 But I remembered I did meet him. 0.84

01:07:27.000 He was a big fan of my Do's and Don'ts book.

01:07:29.000 Cool.

01:07:29.000 And I went up, and he's like, yo.

01:07:30.000 He does that LA thing, right, where they wear a floppy denim hat, and they want to hug you, and they say yo all the time.

01:07:35.000 Yeah.

01:07:36.000 And he goes, yo, what's up?

01:07:38.000 And my brother, what does that mean?

01:07:40.000 He gives me this big hug.

01:07:40.000 I hate that about LA people.

01:07:43.000 But I go, hey, whoa, this guy's got a boner.

01:07:46.000 I turned to all his friends.

01:07:49.000 Not one of them laughed.

01:07:51.000 You could have heard a pin drop.

01:07:52.000 Oh, wow.

01:07:53.000 He was pissed off.

01:07:54.000 What?

01:07:54.000 He sits down.

01:07:55.000 They're all staring at me.

01:07:57.000 He swigs his beer, and then he moves a table over and starts talking to the waitress, and eventually takes her up to his room.

01:08:03.000 Get out.

01:08:03.000 Wow.

01:08:03.000 And then I sat there for, like, I had half my beer with his friends who were all wearing, like, L.A.

01:08:09.000 stuff, like a leather shirt and, like, a fucking little beard. 0.99

01:08:13.000 Tons of rings. 0.99

01:08:15.000 Tons of rings and chains on their boots and their denim was so stressed it was nearly having a heart attack.

01:08:21.000 And so I had half my beer and I just went, oh wait, that didn't go great.

01:08:25.000 And Tommy was already gone.

01:08:26.000 He went up to his room with that chick. 1.00

01:08:28.000 So I was like, okay, that joke bombed. 0.99

01:08:31.000 I didn't say this, but I should have said, guys, it's called a fucking joke. 0.99

01:08:35.000 Right. 0.99

01:08:36.000 Tommy Lee did not have an erection when he hugged me. 1.00

01:08:39.000 He's not dying to fuck me, you idiots. 1.00

01:08:42.000 There's a line between not funny and you're socially exiled from now on. 1.00

01:08:46.000 Like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:08:48.000 Relax. 1.00

01:08:49.000 Like, do the math.

01:08:51.000 You think Tommy's sitting there lusting me? 1.00

01:08:54.000 You think your buddy that you watch fuck girls five times a day is secretly dying to fuck me in my ass? 1.00

01:09:00.000 Tommy's railing the chick out, he comes down like 45 minutes later, and you guys are still talking about it. 1.00

01:09:03.000 I was like, you're still talking about that erection, wasn't it? 0.86

01:09:06.000 Guys, it was a joke. 1.00

01:09:07.000 Tommy comes back down, he goes, sorry guys, I had to go fuck a chick. 1.00

01:09:09.000 That guy, Gavin, makes me so horny that I was worried the gay was coming out of me. 1.00

01:09:14.000 I had to fuck the gay away. 1.00

01:09:16.000 Alright, let's go. 1.00

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 16, 2019

Get Off My Lawn Podcast #104 | Motley Crue are a christian rock band

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