Comedian John Singleton joins Jemele to talk about therapy, boxing, and why it s unhealthy to talk too much about yourself. Plus, a new segment called "Jemele's Joke of the Week" from Jemele's new show, "The Jerks," where she and Jemele talk about what it's like to be a stand-up comedian in New York City. Plus, Jemele and John talk about how they met, how they first met, and what it was like growing up in the late 80s and early 90s in the big bad city of New York. And, of course, they talk about their favorite movies and TV shows of the day. The Jerks is a production of Gimlet Media and produced by Riley Bray. Our theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Art: Mackenzie Moore Editor: Patrick Muldowney Music: Hayden Coplen Editing: Will Witwer Mixing: Jeff Perla Additional mixing and mastering: Alex Blumberg Matthew Boll Special thanks to Jeff Perlman Jeff Perlan Matt Knost John Kimbrough Ben Koppel Jake Chapman Michael McLendon Paul Kasinski Mike McLaughlin Ian Hermoza Jack Antonoff Daniel Pape James Rook David Fincher Brian Heacock Jordan Bortle Bill Paoletti Andrew Scheufert Joe Pesci Tim Ferraro Dan Kotnik ( ) Sam Esler Chris Williams Julian Wolfe Brad Squibb Tom Delonge Chadwick , Ben Kortney Willy Graver Alex Kortner Isamu Justin McElton Evan Lewis Kevin McKinnon Bobby Lord Andruv . Christian Blanchor Jon Hall Shrader & more! and more Chels Josh Bortles Carl Castellanos Jimmi Adam Driver Sarah Pippin Conor McElherd -
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:00:01.000I almost started to cry in therapy yesterday.
00:00:05.000Now, obviously by therapy, uh, I'm, I don't mean lying on a couch and talking about yourself, which I'm not, I'm like, I'm not going to judge you if you're going crazy and you found something that works, but I don't believe in therapy.
00:00:19.000I mean, Howard Stern is always talking about, are you in therapy?
00:00:49.000Photographer Terry Richardson used to go every day too, and I go, it's sort of like a calculator or a lawyer, where you just, they become a crutch.
00:00:58.000Like if you have a calculator and you use it a lot for all your calculations, you'll catch yourself going 10 plus 10.
00:01:02.000And then it'll say 20 and you'll go, Jesus Christ, my dad would kill me if he knew I just typed 10 plus 10 in.
00:01:10.000He starts advising you on complicated stuff that you really need him for, and then it'll just be like, hey, someone wants me on their podcast.
00:02:57.000Okay, so, um, I am doing the pads that you're saying, and I've got a fight coming up on Saturday, one of these old men fight where it's a bunch of 50 year olds who are just dead to the world after three rounds, like, and every punch is,
00:03:58.000But yeah, so we're doing the pads, and it's like, right, left, left, hook, left hook, shot to the body.
00:04:03.000Give me right, right, jab, left, left.
00:04:06.000And then there's this cool move you do, where you do like, imagine your nose is a chalk, piece of chalk, and you're drawing a circle on the chalkboard.
00:04:14.000So you go down, you're going clockwise.
00:04:17.000When you're done the clockwise thing, and you do a left, you have all this momentum, and you're crouched down low, so your left is just this insane bullet.
00:05:15.000The atmosphere at a boxing gym is kind of, I don't know, I'm not an alpha male to most of these pussies that fuck with me, like the bloggers and all those guys, but in the real world, I'm a beta male.
00:05:31.000So when I'm there, I'm just sort of like quiet, keep to myself, hey coach, hey, I'm reading this, oh, I'm reading this awesome book I was talking to my coach about, Dempsey, by Jack Dempsey.
00:05:42.000I'm going to make you read it at gunpoint.
00:06:10.000Sometimes an older guy, which is hard for me to find, but there is this old black guy who'll come over and he'll, your power's all in your elbow.
00:06:17.000You want to hit it with your shoulder.
00:06:18.000I'm like, dude, I've been hitting this heavy bag nonstop for 20 minutes.
00:06:23.000But anyway, the idea of blubbering, just bursting into tears is, oh, it would be the worst place, basically the worst place in the world you could possibly cry.
00:06:44.000I saw my son, a picture of my son on our wall, and he was wearing this Flash costume, and he used to be really into superheroes, now he couldn't give less of a shit, because he's older now, adults who like superheroes, and when kids are over eight or nine, they tend to move on.
00:07:00.000So you may want to give that a whirl, guy in a Wolverine shirt, guy with a Superman tattoo, guy who writes about Star Wars on a blog exclusively, guy who does reviews and talks about DC versus Marvel, and I'm not sure who's going to win.
00:07:13.000I think Marvel has some really classic flicks up.
00:07:17.000Fucking that's another thing about Howard Stern.
00:07:29.000Fucking looks like a vulture had sex with Joey Ramone and then put on a Batman shirt Went to Hot Topic with $35.
00:07:37.000Okay, so that's that out of the way the crying thing I didn't of course, but it just I mean everyone has their own thing and I'm sorry for criticizing people who use therapy I just I just think that
00:09:01.000I'm really getting into books that were not written by writers.
00:09:04.000Now, obviously, there's cheating going on.
00:09:07.000Like, you read Anthony Kumia's book, and it's clear that he set it into a microphone, and then someone punched it up, and then someone made it better that was good at writing.
00:11:33.000Now, and this might be why then this young people are so tall, like I hang out with my little brother and his friends, and they're all fucking giants.
00:11:43.000And I can't help but think it's because every nanosecond they were hungry, there was a perfect little food for what they were feeling like a little cheese snack or a little mini yogurt or something.
00:11:53.000So their bodies just went, oh, there's plenty of food around.
00:12:46.000So anyway, I'm reading that book and it's incredible and it's gotten me really back into fighting in a big way and very emotional about it too, as you can see from the near blubber fit.
00:12:59.000But the other book that I told you you have to read
00:13:03.000Is by Ralph Steadman, the great artist.
00:13:05.000You know, when you think of Hunter Thompson, you think of those ink splattered drawings.
00:14:22.000He put himself into a rocket and shot it into the sky.
00:14:28.000But it's just a really fascinating book and it's not really about, it's not about Gonzo journalism, it's just about a guy from Wales who moved to America and got a job doing illustrations and it's about the newspaper business and being a journalist and drugs and it's just a fucking great book.
00:14:46.000And I think it helps you understand the weirdos.
00:14:48.000And I've always been a very staunch proponent of the weirdos.
00:14:53.000And I really believe that right now, with all this censorship, and these kids said something rude, and this guy said an offensive joke 50 years ago, I think that's a war on the weirdos.
00:15:07.000And it's a war on color, as I've said.
00:15:33.000Remember last night how we remembered, from the whole skiing weekend, we remembered the weird kids next to us before we got on the ski lift.
00:15:59.000He's the most normal comedian in the world.
00:16:03.000Yeah, we were skiing and there were these kids and I was talking to Ryan and my wife about how seeing a genuinely funny person in the wild is like seeing an albino.
00:16:13.000It's exciting and you go, oh, there's one and you want to kiss them.
00:16:17.000And of course, as many Africans do, you want to get their blood because it's magic.
00:16:24.000So, uh, I was remembering a time when I was maybe 12, and I was walking by these French immersion kids, because in Canada, schools were sort of split, and some people got to take their classes in English, and some poor bastards had to take all of their classes in fucking French.
00:16:40.000What a pain in the ass that must have been.
00:16:42.000And those people, by the way, they end up with a shitty education, because they can't really spell in English.
00:16:47.000They're English people who spell like shit in English because they were fucking learning French!
00:16:56.000But I saw one of those kids and he was looking, he was down on the ground and then he gets up and he goes, guys, I need to talk to you right now.
00:17:15.000And I was just sort of walking by him in the library and I went, I remember at this very young age going, holy shit, that guy is really genuinely funny.
00:17:36.000And then recently when we were skiing, there were these guys who... I saw them, they were putting gloves on the ends of their ski poles and touching the person in front of them with their hand, but it wasn't their hand, it was a ski pole.
00:17:48.000And then he put a lit cigarette in it, so it was smoking with his glove on a ski pole.
00:17:53.000And then when we got to the top of the hill, I overheard him say...
00:17:56.000You know, uh, humans are about 70% water.
00:18:01.000And then I overheard, and then I heard him explain, he goes, you just like say a true fact and then something totally unrelated to freak them out.
00:18:08.000And I had the same feeling I had with that 12 year old who lost his pencil.
00:18:11.000I was like, holy shit, that's a fucking funny dude.
00:18:18.000There was this one kid in our school, the same grade where we used to get sat on, this kid Anthony, and one of the teachers took their shoes off and they were fanning themselves off for the church fan.
00:18:46.000I remember one time, I think we were in sixth grade, I came in and I was doing like a... I was joking, but I was doing like a Vinnie Barbarino thing, where I was like, this class is stupid.
00:18:56.000And then I walk in, I'm like, these papers are stupid.
00:18:59.000And I'm flicking the papers, and I'm like, get this pencil out of here.
00:19:45.000If I was savvy or if I had a time machine, I would go back in time and go, no, no, dude, I was making fun of like, I guess, dumb Italians from the Bronx who think everything is stupid.
00:20:39.000I'm approaching, but there's also people in that class who had normal grades but were just, I didn't want to, I don't want to look at, that kid's dying of cancer.
00:20:58.000Or there was this guy, Steve Zarth, who I think had a hundred in math, and he was just there because he's autistic and he doesn't look people in the eye, and went around.
00:21:09.000There'd be a guy in there with a birthmark on his face.
00:21:24.000Sorry for spreading joy, Mr. Brown, Diabri Moody High.
00:21:29.000Yeah, but don't you feel that, uh, I was the same way too, but when you're done with your little bit and your act, you do, like, alright guys, everybody get back to work.
00:21:37.000Like, you settle everybody else in and be like, I'm done.
00:21:51.000Teachers are drunk with power because the unions tell them that they're gods, and the unions, the NEA, has more power than, has more money on Capitol Hill, more lobbyists than tobacco than the left or the right.
00:23:32.000You know, we talk about a lot of racism, of course, all the fucking time, and we ignore real problems like the opioid epidemic, but I also think the way we force kids into these desks, we cram them in there,
00:23:47.000I think as a, I think as a, as a culture, Western culture, I think we're going to look back on education and go, wow, we had fucked up for a long ass time.
00:23:58.000It was cool in the early 1930s where we were, we were empowering the poor and helping them to read so they could read contracts and not get fucked over.
00:24:05.000And so they can enjoy books and stories and blah, blah, blah.
00:24:08.000It's since just become a giant shitty daycare.
00:25:58.000And then, in that same society, there's a real disdain for people of color, lesbians, Indians, everything, and that's why they live in jail so much.
00:28:09.000Okay, so one, the Brad is stealing the spotlight thing assumes that there's a fine amount of pie.
00:28:16.000Two, you're assuming that Brad is getting all these slices for no good reason.
00:28:22.000So when you see Brad like that kid who was with the Indian, when you see him working at fucking Stelco as a marketing guy and making 120 grand a year, you go, he didn't deserve that.
00:28:34.000Now I'm not saying that's right or wrong, but how do you, that's hard to prove.
00:28:38.000That's a very difficult thing to prove.
00:29:39.000It's based on the assumption of white privilege and that Brad is getting all this stuff he doesn't deserve and he's going to be rich and famous and uh not famous he's going to be rich and successful and that is something that that people of color won't have the opportunity to get because we live in a racist society.
00:29:57.000I happen to believe that's a very esoteric worldview
00:30:01.000And, or Western view, and to make it the DNC's entire campaign, like I've talked to liberals and I go, is Trump racist?
00:31:13.000So that's my theory on it, but I've been getting some emails from people, and they've got some really good theories.
00:31:19.000Like this chick in London, who's just a college student, and as a sexist, and an ageist, and a nationalist, this is hard for me to accept, that a different country, different gender, and whatever the other one was, is saying intelligent things.
00:31:43.000Her theory is that feminists are like incels.
00:31:48.000Incels, and then incels by the way are involuntary celibate.
00:31:51.000By the way, just to recap, say you're plucking this out of the sky 10 years from now, we're talking about a big controversy that happened in 2019 when a handsome young college white guy, I sound gay calling him handsome all the time, was accused of disrupting an indigenous ceremony with this Indian guy, and everyone freaked out.
00:32:10.000And my angle with it on a previous podcast was, why was their vitriol so acidic?
00:32:16.000Like, it wasn't just, that guy's a dick.
00:32:18.000Like, when those black guys stole that MAGA supporter who had mental problems and they cut him and harassed him, people were just like, that's terrible, man.
00:32:27.000It wasn't like seething, burning, butyric acid burning out of their chest where they wanted to stab the entire family.
00:32:33.000They're talking about, there should be a school shooting at that school.
00:32:36.000Like, it was just unbridled rage and it tapped into something which is, I call the hatred for Brad and we're trying to figure it out because I don't quite get it.
00:32:45.000Incels are involuntary celibate men and they are abnormally violent and sadistic because they're not getting laid and men are designed to get laid.
00:36:19.000Anyway, so I can't believe I'm taking so long to get this woman's theory.
00:36:22.000So her thing is like incels and feminists have the same problem, but it's in reverses.
00:36:27.000Incels don't get laid, and men who don't get laid are in shitty moods, which is why you'll notice gays are happier than us, because they get laid when it pops in their head.
00:36:36.000And that's probably why lesbians are so grumpy.
00:36:40.000Feminists, she says, hold on to your hat for this one, feminists get laid too much.
00:36:46.000And it's not natural for a woman to get too much sex, especially in this day and age where there's zero love attached.
00:36:54.000So it's just Netflix and chill, he bangs her, then they're gone.
00:36:58.000I mean, men, I think, invented feminism.
00:37:00.000Horny guys invented modern feminism because it just treats women like, as I've said many times, colostomy bags for some strangers come.
00:37:11.000These women get treated like shit today.
00:37:23.000There's no going out for breakfast with her the next day.
00:37:25.000She usually leaves that night, I'd assume.
00:37:29.000And that, women like it, or they say they like it, and they have slut walks, and I'm owning it, man, and romance is for losers, and being courted is so patriarchal, ugh, flowers, you're gonna bring me chocolates and flowers?
00:38:37.000But they also have a brutal suicide rate.
00:38:42.000And she links this to this rampant sluttery.
00:38:45.000It could also be linked to the fact that Iceland is... It's dark for like six weeks a year.
00:38:51.000I heard they take cold showers to get prepared to go outside, because it could be a very depressing thing when you reach cold, like you freeze up, you're like, ah, I don't know if I can do shit.
00:38:59.000But they work pretty hard, and my friend just came back from there, he said that's the culture.
00:39:56.000Okay, so I'm spending a lot of time on this woman, but here's her theories.
00:40:01.000Because Brad is seen as traditional, clean-cut, and successful, he reminds them of the stable marriage family life that they all secretly want.
00:40:07.000And I am saying all of them because I'm a female and I know no matter what they say, they do want it.
00:40:22.000Because he is the successful jock type, they assume he himself is probably promiscuous, which reminds them of their own miserable, slutty lives, so they end up projecting their anger at Brad.
00:40:32.000Women are very good at blaming others for their own problems, and Brad is an easy scapegoat.
00:40:43.000Like, if you go up to a black guy, a young black man, and say, I think what that rap you just said, it used the n-word, and I found it to be somewhat sexist.
00:40:52.000He's not gonna go, yo man, thanks for the heads up.
00:41:40.000Because just like I said earlier, this whole slut walk thing, you walk right into a man's bed and he gets to use you and abuse you and toss you.
00:41:48.000If a man wants these sluts, he can stop and do a pretty woman thing and say, can we put a ring on it?
00:43:21.000So now I'm gonna hate him forever type of thing.
00:43:25.000And then she says it's also just become a trigger.
00:43:28.000Like this, I think, and I agree with her on this, I think this whole everything that sucks in the world is Brad's fault is a really handy crutch.
00:43:36.000And so what we do is, all right, I'll accept Brad if he just starts apologizing.
00:43:40.000Like the fucking interview that kid did on USA Today, where she said, she said to him, um, but standing your ground, I mean, that's a bit aggressive, is it not?
00:44:50.000Hey, I just want to say I'm coming from a position of privilege and my voice is not the same value as other people's, but does anyone know where the bathroom is?
00:44:59.000Like everything has to have that caveat.
00:46:03.000He goes, I think he might predate Christianity.
00:46:05.000It's some like Germanic thing with Nordic gods and stuff that got tangled up with some Greek saint who gave some prostitutes some food, I think, over a wall.
00:46:48.000I think college students are all on Adderall, so when you get an email from someone who's in their 20s, it's just like, war and peace.
00:46:55.000And it was written in about one minute.
00:46:59.000That's what it sounds like when a millennial types.
00:47:02.000No, actually, it starts out like this.
00:47:05.000And then it goes... And then it starts going... And then it starts going...
00:47:14.000Like a high-pitched... And then glasses start smashing in the house.
00:47:17.000Like crickets chirping and shit, like... Alright, so this is this other guy's theory, which I also think is... All of the theories we've been discussing this entire show I all think are very salad, solid, and... I think they're salad too.
00:47:30.000And they're salad for the brain, for mental obesity, and they're also one million times
00:47:38.000Smarter and more logically sound than this whole racist America, white power in the White House.
00:47:44.000I mean, I saw someone at a rally and she was like, she had a hat like make racism gone again or something.
00:47:51.000It wasn't make racist afraid again, but it was something like that.
00:47:54.000Like make racism rare again, something not very eloquent.
00:47:58.000And he was asking about her hat and he says, do you think we've gone backwards a little bit?
00:48:01.000And she goes, oh, we've gone backwards a hundred years.
00:48:32.000Single mothers, which is very common now, especially in the black community where I think we're at 75% of black kids are born out of wedlock.
00:48:41.000Single mothers, they've raised brats, but because they love these brats, they hate the brats.
00:48:48.000So you've got this irreverent little bitchy kid who's really annoying and doesn't have his shit together, but that's your baby.
00:48:56.000And then you see a solid dude who has a job and has it locked down and is always on time, and you're like, fuck that little pussy teacher's pet.
00:49:05.000Because you have to be on Team Brat if you have Brats.
00:52:32.000Birth control is rampant now, and I guarantee you all those women who wanted to kill that boy are on birth control, and all these feminists are on birth control.
00:52:39.000It tricks your body into thinking you're in the first trimester.
00:52:42.000And when you're in the first trimester, you're not looking for an alpha male.
00:52:47.000You're looking for someone meek and kind who will not try to fuck you.
00:53:19.000And I come from the 70s, where guys would have a cigarette or a cigar in their mouth, and you have this stupid flashlight you stick in your beak.
00:53:26.000I would smoke if I could smoke inside.
00:54:04.000And I think, you know, there's many ways people communicate, but there's lots of pheromones and chemicals.
00:54:10.000And when, when, you know, they have that speed dating thing where people sit in front of each other and they're just like, yeah, no, why have a long date?
00:54:37.000If you have this sense of smell, right, when you're ovulating, it makes you more aware, and you might be able to sense that this guy's not trying to just fuck me.
00:54:48.000But these pills take away that extra sense, so now you're less aware.
00:54:53.000So, um, you have these women, thanks to birth control, who are less aware of their surroundings, they're getting into bed with guys they don't genuinely like, and then sometimes they're marrying these guys, these pussies, these brothers, and they're making kids who are bigger wimps.
00:55:13.000So birth control is pussifying the entire population.
00:55:18.000And women sense that subliminally and are pissed off at the whole situation.
00:55:21.000They're pissed off that they're with this pussy, they're mad at Brad, and they're pissed off that they can sense that their role has been hijacked and now their job is to make wimps.
00:55:31.000Which hasn't been their job since the beginning of time, up until like 1985.
00:55:34.000And thus empathizing with wimps all around the world and sticking up for the wimps.
00:55:41.000Yeah, and making their sons into bigger wimps.
00:56:26.000So I think we have presented some very strong theories today about poor Brad.
00:56:32.000And I hope that the takeaway is that the DNC's basket, where all of the eggs are racism, racism, racism, racism, is one of the least logical theories.
00:56:42.000It's definitely the least logical theory to have this much popularity in history.
00:56:48.000It's Flat Earth isn't as popular, but they're in the same boat.
00:56:52.000That America's a racist hellhole and we've gone back in time and there's a white supremacist in the White House.
00:57:03.000Like Kamala Harris might become president because of this lie that America's racist and Trump is the personification of this horrible country.