Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 07, 2019


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #112 | Stylists ruin movies and TV


Episode Stats

Length

59 minutes

Words per Minute

177.0809

Word Count

10,616

Sentence Count

992

Misogynist Sentences

60

Hate Speech Sentences

77


Summary

In this episode, the boys talk about the worst things they've ever seen in movies and TV, and the things that annoy them the most. They also talk about what they would do if they were in charge of a movie studio, and why they think women should be hired to be directors. Also, they talk about why they don't want to see women as directors in movies, and how they think it's a good idea to have more women on sets, because they're better stylists than men. And they discuss the wiggly guy with Parkinson's and his prosthetic leg, and what it means to be wobbly and have a bad leg. And, of course, there's a story about a guy who's got a case of the Wiggles and can't remember his own name, because he doesn't have a leg. And he's not even a comedian, he's just a guy with a good sense of humor, which makes him even funnier. Enjoy the episode, and be sure to check out the rest of the show on Apple Podcasts and subscribe to the Podchaser Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and Share, and Retweet! to get notified when a new episode is released! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Thank you for listening to and reviewing this episode of the podCast. -Jon Sorrentino - and . is a production of SPOTIFY! and we'd love to hear your thoughts on the pod cast, reviews, thoughts, opinions, thoughts and thoughts on music, reviews and thoughts, etc. and any other feedback you guys have sent in! - we'd like to know who you'd like us to be featured in the pod, too? on a future episode of this podcast, and we'll get a shoutout! in the next episode will be getting a shout-out on the PodChaser, too! if you're listening to the pod? - Thank you, Jono and Jono is listening to this episode - Jono & Jono will be checking it out! -- Thank you Jono's PodChats! Jono. -- -- Jono, ( ) Jonos, , & , and Thank You, Jonos is a producer.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Stylists ruin movies and TV.
00:00:05.000 I think it's a form of affirmative action.
00:00:07.000 I think people go, I got to get more chicks on this set.
00:00:10.000 There's this big push to get women on movie sets and they're not great directors generally.
00:00:15.000 So they go, they're good at clothes.
00:00:17.000 Here's how you be a good stylist.
00:00:20.000 You have a warehouse that you rent way out in the Bronx.
00:00:23.000 It's cheap and it is full.
00:00:27.000 Of outfits and they are old and used for the most part.
00:00:32.000 Cause that's how people fucking dress.
00:00:35.000 I am so sick of watching TV and movies and every single person has brand new clothes on.
00:00:43.000 That's not how people look.
00:00:45.000 And you know what they always have on?
00:00:47.000 It's a long sleeve t-shirt with the three buttons on the front on the neck.
00:00:52.000 You know what I mean?
00:00:54.000 Almost like a long underwear shirt.
00:00:56.000 And I think it's because they have those at Target and they're probably three bucks.
00:01:00.000 And the budget's already, she's already spent the budget because she's terrible at her job.
00:01:04.000 And she has to run to Target on the, like, while they're shooting and go grab five of those.
00:01:09.000 Or she always has a box of them or something stupid like that.
00:01:12.000 They get their budget for the movie, and then they go on a shopping spree, and they buy Brad Pitt an army coat, and they buy some black guy a tracksuit, and it's all brand new, and the t-shirt's blindingly brand new white.
00:01:28.000 Yeah.
00:01:28.000 It totally pulls you out of it.
00:01:30.000 Yeah, it looks like a dress-up, like a high school musical or something.
00:01:33.000 This is the worst one.
00:01:35.000 It's called Badasses.
00:01:36.000 It's on Netflix.
00:01:38.000 It's Danny Trejo, the guy who plays Machete.
00:01:40.000 Oh, I like that guy.
00:01:41.000 Yeah, and Danny Glover.
00:01:43.000 I don't like that guy.
00:01:45.000 And all of their clothes are fucking spotless brand.
00:01:48.000 Look at his hat!
00:01:49.000 His hat looks like... Don't say look at his hat on an audio podcast, Ryan.
00:01:54.000 Hey folks at home, look at the hat that we can see that you can't see.
00:01:57.000 It must be like being blind.
00:01:59.000 It really looks like... It's so irritating.
00:02:03.000 Irritating, yeah.
00:02:04.000 And it makes me sexist.
00:02:05.000 Brand new shoes.
00:02:07.000 Whose shoes are that white?
00:02:08.000 If you have brand new white Air Force Ones, they look like that for three days.
00:02:13.000 Yeah.
00:02:14.000 Not a hundred percent of all days like it is in movies.
00:02:17.000 And I was watching Jaws the other day.
00:02:20.000 Like this is back when men were stylists.
00:02:24.000 Right.
00:02:24.000 And they were gays.
00:02:26.000 And the gays, even our gays are better women than women.
00:02:31.000 Like just let men run movies.
00:02:33.000 Okay.
00:02:33.000 I know there's this new push.
00:02:35.000 It's like 4%.
00:02:37.000 Do you know about this?
00:02:38.000 Someone is pushing a pledge where we want to have 4% of our staff in a movie will be female or 4% of directors.
00:02:47.000 Then all these actors are tweeting out, I hereby commit to working with a female director at least 4% of the year or something stupid like that.
00:02:55.000 Look,
00:02:56.000 Being a director is like being a corrections officer.
00:03:01.000 It's not a very creative job, despite what they tell you in film school.
00:03:06.000 It's a really hard job, and you gotta be a disciplinarian.
00:03:09.000 You have to say, fuck this, everyone, you suck.
00:03:12.000 Like with Back to the Future, they had the guy from Mask, Eric Stoltz.
00:03:16.000 He was the kid.
00:03:19.000 And they, about two weeks into filming, spending hundreds of thousands, they go, Eric sucks.
00:03:25.000 Right.
00:03:25.000 Let's get Michael J. Fox.
00:03:27.000 He doesn't have a disease yet.
00:03:29.000 Let's get him before he gets all wiggly with his Parkinson's.
00:03:32.000 Wiggly?
00:03:33.000 Yeah.
00:03:33.000 He's got a case of the wiggles.
00:03:34.000 I met a guy at a bar, an Irish guy at a pub recently, and he's just wobbling all over the place.
00:03:41.000 And I go, dude, I hope you're not driving back because you're fucking pretty wobbly.
00:03:49.000 And he goes, oh, he was Irish.
00:03:51.000 He's like, yes, well, I have had a few, but it's also this.
00:03:54.000 And he pulls up his pants and I can see he has a prosthetic leg.
00:03:58.000 And I go, oh, shit.
00:03:59.000 Sorry.
00:03:59.000 Whoa.
00:04:00.000 And I go, prosthetic leg, huh?
00:04:02.000 What's that like?
00:04:03.000 And he goes, wobbly.
00:04:06.000 All Irish people are funny.
00:04:07.000 But anyway, that director had to fire it, cost hundreds of thousands.
00:04:11.000 I'm sure all the executive producers paying for that were pissed at him.
00:04:15.000 He probably almost got fired himself and he's like, sorry, this has to be done.
00:04:18.000 And his contract, you still have to fulfill some part of the contract for him, right?
00:04:22.000 So you pay him out almost fully?
00:04:23.000 I don't know.
00:04:24.000 I would think so.
00:04:25.000 It was a very expensive, ballsy, tough move and that tends to be done by men.
00:04:29.000 Right.
00:04:30.000 Or that chick who was in Manchester by the sea.
00:04:32.000 Remember?
00:04:34.000 Ben Affleck.
00:04:35.000 No, Casey Affleck.
00:04:37.000 And I think Joaquin Phoenix wanted to bang some broads in her hotel room.
00:04:42.000 And that's fine.
00:04:44.000 If my boss wants to use my hotel room, that's good for me because I'm going to move up now.
00:04:50.000 It's sort of like when your neighbors are noisy.
00:04:52.000 I would never call the cops on my neighbors if they were noisy because I go, now you owe me one.
00:04:56.000 Now I can be noisy.
00:04:58.000 Yeah, that would never occur to me.
00:05:01.000 I would complain a lot, because that's fun.
00:05:03.000 It's not, you don't want jizz on your pillow.
00:05:05.000 No!
00:05:05.000 But I wouldn't use that pillow.
00:05:06.000 That's a great song, that's a great do-up song.
00:05:08.000 Jizz on my pillow, pain in my heart, all for you.
00:05:17.000 That's a Motown song about how he misses her so much he fucks his pillow and looks at her picture.
00:05:21.000 But by the way, back at my apartment, I live really close to an Italian restaurant, and the music they play is all that shit, and they'll play fucking...
00:05:30.000 Earth angel, earth angel, will you be my- Like five times a day.
00:05:36.000 So I have to just get out the house sometimes.
00:05:38.000 Doo-wop, as an egalitarian, doo-wop sounds racist to me.
00:05:43.000 Because it's back when blacks weren't allowed to sing about anything real.
00:05:47.000 So the only way they would let blacks on the radio is if they're like, I love my baby.
00:05:52.000 Oh, I'm a good boy.
00:05:54.000 I'm a good Negro who loves my sweet angel.
00:05:57.000 Sweet.
00:05:58.000 Yeah, dressed up in a suit.
00:05:59.000 I got a little suit on.
00:06:01.000 I'm Curtis Mayfield, we're The Impressions.
00:06:03.000 Curtis Mayfield was the first guy to say, you know what, fuck this.
00:06:06.000 I'm sick of singing about my baby.
00:06:08.000 I want to sing about the rent.
00:06:11.000 And no one would let him do that.
00:06:12.000 And the drug dealer, what?
00:06:13.000 He started his own record label.
00:06:15.000 First musician to start his own record label, as far as I know.
00:06:19.000 And he was the first to break away from doo-wop, go solo, and then he's like, push a man.
00:06:26.000 Yeah, talking about the drug dealer, the pusher man.
00:06:26.000 You remember that song?
00:06:28.000 Yeah.
00:06:29.000 I mean, that's obviously, we're jumping ahead 20 years.
00:06:31.000 But still, that's pretty ballsy.
00:06:33.000 I think one of his first ballsy songs was, God bless Miss Black America.
00:06:40.000 And that was a very dangerous, contentious thing to do back then.
00:06:45.000 I heard a lot of those musicians that are behind, like studio musicians, behind some of the most famous songs, and even the performers themselves, like The Temptations, they would get screwed non-stop.
00:06:57.000 They wouldn't really get a fair cut.
00:06:58.000 Well the way it worked back then is, you would just, you'd have a studio and you'd pay someone a day rate.
00:07:05.000 Like, I don't know how much it would be, a hundred bucks.
00:07:08.000 And they would just sing all day and you just churn out shit.
00:07:12.000 But, uh, you'd end up with some hits.
00:07:14.000 You'd also end up with some really bizarre songs.
00:07:17.000 Like check out the song, The Peanut Duck.
00:07:20.000 What?
00:07:20.000 It just... Quack your arms like a duck.
00:07:23.000 They were trying to just make up a new dance.
00:07:25.000 Mmm.
00:07:26.000 And, uh, it just sounds like a factory where they were just churning out songs.
00:07:31.000 Yeah, even Rubberband, man.
00:07:33.000 Like, that's a great tune, but what the fuck does that mean?
00:07:38.000 See, this sounds good.
00:07:39.000 Marsha G. I bet this is one of 17 songs she sang that day.
00:07:46.000 No, there isn't.
00:07:50.000 No, it's not.
00:07:53.000 Most made that up.
00:07:55.000 No, it's not a new sensation.
00:07:59.000 Yes, the monkey is a popular dance.
00:08:01.000 Legitimate.
00:08:03.000 I'm sure that one is popular.
00:08:09.000 No, it's not.
00:08:18.000 Whoa, dude.
00:08:23.000 It's actually a good jam.
00:08:24.000 I like it.
00:08:25.000 Keep playing it.
00:08:27.000 The cover is pretty risque.
00:08:29.000 It's a black chick.
00:08:30.000 Marsha Cheeky.
00:08:31.000 One scene.
00:08:32.000 Yeah.
00:08:32.000 Bent over.
00:08:33.000 She's making a fool of us.
00:08:33.000 No.
00:08:33.000 No.
00:08:38.000 Also no.
00:08:45.000 It's an old white guy, like, let's invent a new dance.
00:08:47.000 That's a big thing.
00:08:48.000 Yeah, this is a promo for a dance that doesn't exist yet.
00:08:51.000 It's like a built-in... He's trying to make a dance that it's been in.
00:08:57.000 I love how they, like, the propaganda is in the first line.
00:09:00.000 It's like, there's a new dance in town.
00:09:03.000 Says who?
00:09:04.000 It says no song before this.
00:09:05.000 No headline.
00:09:06.000 Says some old bald guy.
00:09:10.000 But she starts going... Towards the end.
00:09:15.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:09:16.000 Go back a little bit.
00:09:21.000 This is hard.
00:09:22.000 Okay, now make kooky sounds.
00:09:38.000 Guma.
00:09:38.000 She's exhausted.
00:09:39.000 Let her go home.
00:09:40.000 17 songs in one day?
00:09:45.000 She's gotta pick up her kid!
00:09:46.000 From the babysitter.
00:09:48.000 She not only made up... They made up a dance, they made up all these sounds.
00:09:53.000 I've not heard one of these, besides quack.
00:09:57.000 A giggy gooey?
00:09:59.000 She goo... good.
00:10:04.000 Dave Matthews, like... Can I go?
00:10:06.000 She's crying again.
00:10:07.000 Can I go, please?
00:10:08.000 Alright, darling.
00:10:10.000 Um...
00:10:11.000 Boy, that's a hell of a tangent we're on.
00:10:12.000 So yeah, you look at Jaws and you look at the outfits.
00:10:17.000 That's an old gay guy who did that show.
00:10:19.000 Richard Dreyfuss with his sweatshirt.
00:10:21.000 He's wearing his Canadian tuxedo of jeans and a jean jacket.
00:10:25.000 Rob Schneider with his gorgeous legs and his brown short shorts.
00:10:30.000 Something Shider.
00:10:31.000 It's not Rob Schneider.
00:10:32.000 Oh yeah, that's a different guy.
00:10:35.000 What's his name again?
00:10:36.000 Something Scheider.
00:10:37.000 Boy, Anthony would kill us if we were even hesitating.
00:10:40.000 And then the old salty guy who was attacked by sharks, the USS Coleman or whatever.
00:10:45.000 Roy Scheider.
00:10:46.000 And then that grizzly guy I'm supposed to know the name of.
00:10:48.000 And look at his hat!
00:10:49.000 And his hat is all broken in just like a sea shanty guy's hat would be.
00:10:54.000 Right.
00:10:54.000 It's beaten to shit.
00:10:55.000 It's got grease all over it.
00:10:57.000 The guy's on a boat all day.
00:10:58.000 He wouldn't have a new hat.
00:10:59.000 That's perfect.
00:11:00.000 Yeah.
00:11:00.000 Or you know another, look up Rosemary's Baby.
00:11:04.000 If that's a female stylist, I'll have Satan's Child.
00:11:10.000 There's David Cassavetes in that movie.
00:11:12.000 Men, if you ever want to know how to dress, just watch Rosemary's Baby and wear everything that he wears in that movie.
00:11:19.000 And ladies, if you want to give me a boner, then watch Oh God!
00:11:24.000 I think it's, I can't remember if it's one or two, Teri Garr in Oh God is the best dressed woman in the world.
00:11:30.000 Don't go off looking at Teri Garr, Ryan.
00:11:32.000 We need to find the stylist for Rosemary's Baby.
00:11:35.000 It should be on IMDB or something.
00:11:40.000 So the reason I was thinking this too, because I was at the gym and they were playing, it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll, ACDC jam.
00:11:49.000 I love that song.
00:11:50.000 Right?
00:11:50.000 Yeah.
00:11:52.000 When I think of that song, I see a fat girl with kooky hair.
00:11:57.000 I see another little girl with a top hat and ridiculous makeup on.
00:12:02.000 And I see some Asian kid on the keyboards with his, with rubber bands in his hair because that was the song at the end of School of Rock.
00:12:11.000 And I remember Black, what's his name?
00:12:13.000 Jay Black?
00:12:14.000 Black, Jack Black.
00:12:16.000 Yes.
00:12:17.000 Costume and wardrobe department, Joan Joseph.
00:12:20.000 Ooh, Gavin is wrong.
00:12:23.000 But this is before they were empowered.
00:12:27.000 Wait, I have to have Satan's baby now?
00:12:28.000 Yeah.
00:12:30.000 Ugh, sorry.
00:12:31.000 She's from Cochrane, Alberta, Canada.
00:12:34.000 Oh.
00:12:34.000 Yep.
00:12:34.000 Alright.
00:12:35.000 I officially apologize.
00:12:37.000 There are exceptions to the general rule.
00:12:39.000 But my gut tells me that back in the day, the stylists tend to be gay men.
00:12:44.000 And my gut also tells me they were better at their job, and they had a big warehouse with like an old pilot's uniform, and some jeans that were worn out, and a leather jacket that was perfectly broken in, that had a tear in it that had been patched.
00:12:58.000 Yeah.
00:12:58.000 It's fucking easy!
00:12:59.000 You just, you can get a big storage space in the Bronx for 500 bucks a month.
00:13:04.000 You just go to a bunch of yard sales.
00:13:06.000 Buy a bunch of shit.
00:13:07.000 You should have rows and rows and rows.
00:13:09.000 All defined by size and genre and stuff.
00:13:13.000 Come on!
00:13:14.000 Yeah, like, would a guy that's been on a boat, he have, like, new gloves and... Why would he do that?
00:13:21.000 Can you just not repeat what I say and pretend that it's contributing?
00:13:24.000 Yeah, but it's... Just do a Tony Soprano imitation.
00:13:26.000 Even I get it.
00:13:27.000 Oh, his fucking gloves are brand new.
00:13:30.000 What, is it his first day at a job?
00:13:31.000 He's a 50-year-old guy working out in the docks for the first time.
00:13:35.000 So the School of Rock thing is a different pet peeve.
00:13:38.000 That's not them all wearing new clothes.
00:13:40.000 That's stylists not understanding anything.
00:13:43.000 Did you see the kids in School of Rock at the end?
00:13:46.000 What?
00:13:46.000 How is that rock?
00:13:47.000 They have like top hats on.
00:13:49.000 I've never seen a band look like that.
00:13:54.000 Top hats and
00:13:56.000 You know, Jack Black really pushed, I think he got Led Zeppelin too maybe, but I remember him really pushing to get songs that are rarely sold.
00:14:03.000 ACDC are really territorial about their song, their catalog.
00:14:06.000 And I'm realizing now, they're right.
00:14:09.000 Jack Black did ruin that song.
00:14:13.000 Every time, like put on ACDC, I think they're finally on Spotify, but you're listening to their jams and like, we're on the highway to hell!
00:14:23.000 I'm Becky Black, hit sack!
00:14:26.000 He sounds like a demon!
00:14:27.000 Becky Black!
00:14:28.000 That's Brian Johnson, the guy who plays Bon Scott.
00:14:35.000 They're from Glasgow, by the way, Scottish.
00:14:37.000 Oh, that's right.
00:14:38.000 They were raised in Australia, but that rage you hear is Scottish rage.
00:14:41.000 And all of their songs are fucking so badass.
00:14:45.000 You know, my son, his middle name is White Thunder, and I used to play Thunderstruck as his walk-on song.
00:14:52.000 When he was playing baseball, and he would get so pissed.
00:14:57.000 Why?
00:14:57.000 I don't know.
00:14:58.000 I thought it was cool.
00:15:00.000 Apparently it's Noah Syndergaard's walk-on song.
00:15:02.000 Maybe you want to get pissed.
00:15:04.000 He's known as Thor.
00:15:06.000 One time I kept it on, his whole at-bat, and he struck out and we didn't speak for a while.
00:15:11.000 Oh, fuck.
00:15:12.000 And he said if I ever do that again, he's gonna leave the batting, whatever, and come over with the bat and start attacking.
00:15:20.000 And I got a big ghetto blaster on eBay, and I bought the cassette of this album.
00:15:24.000 Just for that?
00:15:25.000 Oh, that's thoughtful.
00:15:25.000 And I held it over my head like, what's his name in that movie?
00:15:28.000 John Cusack.
00:15:29.000 John Cusack?
00:15:30.000 For his hole at bat.
00:15:32.000 And all the other parents are going, ugh.
00:15:34.000 This is another moment where you think life will be like a movie.
00:15:37.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:38.000 Well, I was kind of fucking with him.
00:15:40.000 Yeah.
00:15:42.000 I mean, I knew he didn't like it, but I wanted him to.
00:15:44.000 Yeah.
00:15:45.000 And I wanted everyone to call him Thunder and go, stop saying that!
00:15:49.000 I don't want to be Thunder!
00:15:50.000 Kids are never what you fantasize they would be.
00:15:53.000 Like, I thought Halloween would be super fun and we'd work together on these outfits and, Dad, that's a really funny idea.
00:15:58.000 Yeah, let's do that.
00:15:59.000 Like, no, I'm being Deadpool.
00:16:01.000 I'm not interested.
00:16:02.000 Right.
00:16:02.000 Or you want to do something cute with your girl and then be like, hey, I set this all up.
00:16:06.000 We're going to do this.
00:16:07.000 I don't really want to do that.
00:16:08.000 Like, well, fuck.
00:16:09.000 In the movie.
00:16:10.000 What are you doing to this podcast?
00:16:12.000 You plan something cute with your girlfriend, like we're gonna go watch a movie under the stars.
00:16:15.000 It's like a drive-in movie.
00:16:16.000 And she's like, that's fucking gay.
00:16:17.000 I don't want to do that.
00:16:18.000 You're like, well, I guess movie love doesn't exist.
00:16:20.000 If you're gonna add an example, it has to be from real life.
00:16:22.000 Don't just repeat what I'm saying.
00:16:24.000 Oh, I've done that.
00:16:24.000 Well, it's non-stop with me.
00:16:27.000 All right, you know, I'm always trying to be romantic.
00:16:29.000 But one of the things, so I'm holding this ghetto blaster and there's this other dad there and he goes, where'd you get that?
00:16:33.000 I haven't seen one of those in a long time.
00:16:35.000 And I go, I got it on eBay.
00:16:36.000 It was 300 bucks.
00:16:37.000 He goes, why did you go and buy, you know, they still make those, right?
00:16:40.000 And I go, no, they don't.
00:16:41.000 They don't make boom boxes, retard.
00:16:44.000 And he goes, oh yeah.
00:16:45.000 And he pulls up his phone.
00:16:46.000 You can get one, a boom box that looks exactly like the 1980s for 50 bucks.
00:16:51.000 Nice.
00:16:51.000 I totally wasted my money.
00:16:53.000 It's old technology.
00:16:54.000 And the one from the 80s, obviously the tapes get eaten and it sucks and it takes like $500 of batteries.
00:17:01.000 But anyway.
00:17:02.000 I got an update.
00:17:03.000 My school of rock beef, my school of rock beef is that the stylist has never heard of rock and she just put on these silly costumes like my mom would do.
00:17:13.000 No offense, mom.
00:17:14.000 But that's how my mom would dress a rock and roll band with top hats and rubber bands in their hair.
00:17:18.000 And ACDC was wrong to give that song to Jack Black because it's the one song out of their whole canon where I go, like, I don't want to hear it anymore.
00:17:29.000 I can't.
00:17:30.000 Think of rock and roll and touring and all this cool stuff, because I just see a bunch of fat kids with top hats ruining the song.
00:17:41.000 You turn it to the side, chilloo, it's a bass.
00:17:46.000 We will rock today.
00:17:49.000 Robert Ellsworth, so that's one of the three stylists, that's a man.
00:17:54.000 Irwin Rose, also a man, stylist in Jaws.
00:17:58.000 And Lewis Clark, there's no gender given to this person.
00:18:02.000 We don't know.
00:18:03.000 You want to know a feminist angle on Jaws just to eradicate all this horrible sexism I'm spewing.
00:18:09.000 Sure.
00:18:10.000 I love when they say that you're spewing bile.
00:18:16.000 The editor is a woman.
00:18:19.000 A what?
00:18:20.000 Yes.
00:18:21.000 She'd made the movie in Steven Spielberg's pool house out back.
00:18:26.000 And that's back when you had to physically cut film with a razor and then re-tape it back together to make a cut.
00:18:33.000 And she got the footage, she watched it all, and she goes back to... It's Spielberg, right?
00:18:37.000 Yeah.
00:18:38.000 And she goes back to Spielberg and she goes, uh, where's the fucking shark?
00:18:42.000 And they go, yeah, we had a bit of trouble.
00:18:44.000 I don't know if you've ever had hydraulics underwater, but they tend to gum up and not work.
00:18:50.000 So the shark kept breaking.
00:18:53.000 So we only have maybe three shots of it doing anything.
00:18:57.000 She goes, what am I supposed to do with that?
00:19:00.000 So, she smokes a joint in the bath.
00:19:03.000 I just made up that part.
00:19:05.000 Has a beer.
00:19:06.000 Looks out the window.
00:19:07.000 She had to have been a lesbian, right?
00:19:08.000 She's acting like a guy now.
00:19:10.000 Well, I guess now we're back to sexism.
00:19:13.000 Anytime a woman accomplishes something in film, I assume she's gay.
00:19:16.000 She's roleplaying as a man or gay.
00:19:17.000 But look her up.
00:19:18.000 Maybe she is gay.
00:19:19.000 I'm trying.
00:19:19.000 I don't think she did much besides that.
00:19:22.000 I think she did one other film.
00:19:23.000 But anyway.
00:19:25.000 She goes, I know, I'm gonna make it about the anticipation of the shark.
00:19:29.000 Genius.
00:19:29.000 Then she grabs a tuba.
00:19:38.000 And that's kind of how it would be in real life if there was a killer shark.
00:19:42.000 You wouldn't be peeping it all the time.
00:19:44.000 Yeah, you wouldn't really see it much.
00:19:46.000 But you'd be fearing it always.
00:19:47.000 Yes!
00:19:49.000 Verna Fields.
00:19:50.000 Verna Fields.
00:19:51.000 Was Verna Fields a lesbian?
00:19:53.000 Oh, that I'd have to look up.
00:19:54.000 Yeah, I know you'd have to look that up.
00:19:56.000 Do you have all editors of all movies' sexual proclivities memorized?
00:19:59.000 No, she was married to Sam Fields.
00:20:01.000 Oh shit, I'm really blowing it!
00:20:03.000 But Sam is kind of an ambiguous name, but I guess I would say it's a man.
00:20:07.000 Let's find out.
00:20:08.000 Yeah, but this is back in the 70s.
00:20:09.000 There's no lesbians getting married to lesbians.
00:20:11.000 Yeah, no, it's a man.
00:20:12.000 A full-blown man.
00:20:13.000 Yeah, a full-blown man.
00:20:16.000 By the way, a full-blown man is playing at the Mercuryland.
00:20:19.000 I just don't understand why everyone, everything has to be 50-50.
00:20:24.000 Jerry Seinfeld talks about this where they're saying there's not enough people of color in this.
00:20:28.000 And it's like everything has to be this pizza pie of diversity where blacks are 14% of the population.
00:20:34.000 Okay, they have to be 14% of the Fields Prize winners.
00:20:37.000 They have to be 14% of the, you know, Latvian social club members.
00:20:43.000 They have to be 14% of tuba players.
00:20:46.000 Why?
00:20:46.000 That's the beauty of being a libertarian is we don't do identity politics.
00:20:51.000 We don't notice.
00:20:52.000 Like McGill University in Canada.
00:20:55.000 It's almost all Asian these days because it's a really hard university to get into.
00:21:01.000 And to get, to get into the math program, for example, you need to have like a 95 out of a hundred.
00:21:05.000 Now it's time to be Asian.
00:21:06.000 I don't give a shit.
00:21:08.000 Go ahead, make it completely Asian.
00:21:10.000 And you have these universities that are coming up with reverse affirmative action quotas where Asians are punished and their SATs are reduced in order to get the Asian numbers down.
00:21:23.000 They're suing for that.
00:21:24.000 Thank God.
00:21:25.000 But that's fucked up.
00:21:26.000 Why?
00:21:27.000 Just don't think about it.
00:21:29.000 Whatever happens, happens.
00:21:31.000 You bust your ass.
00:21:32.000 This whole like, I need 4% directors.
00:21:35.000 Remember that guy we met, and he always bet against, anytime he saw there was a diversity initiative being put across by a company, he would bet against them in the stock market and win.
00:21:48.000 Because you're by definition saying meritocracy is second.
00:21:51.000 I'm gonna put another feature up above
00:21:56.000 Um, the criteria for hiring this person and it's not if they're good or not, it's what race they are, what gender they are.
00:22:03.000 And I don't know, man, I did a lot of films.
00:22:05.000 I got one that's stuck in the chamber right now.
00:22:07.000 I can't really talk about.
00:22:08.000 Maybe I will soon though.
00:22:11.000 I did a movie of, okay I'll talk about it briefly, I did a movie of my book Death of Cool and it's sort of like Animal House in that it could be broken up into episodes and that could be like a TV show or it could be one movie and it's just the book as a movie but there's some legal issues and some
00:22:35.000 Jerks standing in the way.
00:22:37.000 And of course with my reputation now, I have to worry about people not wanting to be on it.
00:22:43.000 And that's my, my reputation is mud.
00:22:46.000 And I got a swarm of bees around me.
00:22:48.000 The SPLC sick, sick, a swarm of bees on me.
00:22:53.000 And now I'm hard to hire because people go, I don't want to lose my Twitter account.
00:22:58.000 The rebel hired me, but they, they, they hired my brother, Miles.
00:23:02.000 Miles McInnes.
00:23:03.000 That's coming out.
00:23:04.000 We can unleash that, right?
00:23:05.000 So I'm going to start doing videos for Rebel as, well, my brother Miles is going to start doing videos for Rebel, and it's to try to undo all the damage I've done.
00:23:14.000 So it'll all be very, very Freedom Rider social justice.
00:23:19.000 He's kind of a lib.
00:23:21.000 He's pretty left.
00:23:22.000 He's very left.
00:23:23.000 Is he in Antifa?
00:23:24.000 Does he do Antifa stuff?
00:23:25.000 He won't tell me.
00:23:26.000 Huh.
00:23:27.000 You guys don't talk much?
00:23:28.000 I try to talk to him, but he gets all pissed off and he punches holes in the wall and screams, he's stupid!
00:23:34.000 Have you guys ever gotten along?
00:23:37.000 Before?
00:23:38.000 9-11.
00:23:40.000 Oh, that was the one.
00:23:41.000 And then I sort of went right and then he went left just to deflect, but he always, I'll say, I'll say, what?
00:23:47.000 Like he's, there's so many cliches.
00:23:49.000 Like he'll say, Ann Coulter, what, how much of that is what she says is true and how much is it for shock value?
00:23:55.000 And I say, what sentence in what book is, are you talking about?
00:23:58.000 Right.
00:23:58.000 And he goes, I'm not going to read her book.
00:24:01.000 I go, well, what sentence anywhere are you talking about?
00:24:04.000 And then he'll find like some mistakes she made, like she thought Canada was in the Vietnam War.
00:24:08.000 That's the one thing she said wrong in 80 years of commentary.
00:24:12.000 And he goes, he just keeps bringing that up.
00:24:15.000 Or with Trump.
00:24:17.000 He'll go, he's so stupid!
00:24:19.000 He's such an idiot!
00:24:20.000 And I'll go, like what?
00:24:21.000 What has he said that you take issue with?
00:24:24.000 Because I know he's going to say something like, he said Mexicans are rapists.
00:24:27.000 No, he said of the illegals crossing, they're not sending their best people.
00:24:32.000 And there is a high rape contingent.
00:24:35.000 80% of them get raped crossing the border.
00:24:38.000 So there seems to be a lot of rapey culture going on with that particular demographic of Mexicans.
00:24:43.000 Not all Mexicans, obviously.
00:24:44.000 Sure, sure.
00:24:46.000 And they are not sending their best.
00:24:47.000 The Mexican government was pretty clear about this as a tactic, because they don't have jails.
00:24:53.000 So let's get our bad guys up north of the border.
00:24:57.000 America will be a giant jail cell for us.
00:25:01.000 Anyway, but he says what everyone says when I ask that.
00:25:05.000 He goes,
00:25:06.000 Everything!
00:25:07.000 And I go, yeah, but name one thing he said.
00:25:09.000 Everything he said!
00:25:12.000 Which is lefty speak for I haven't done any research at all.
00:25:16.000 I don't know what I'm talking about.
00:25:17.000 Like he'll just go, really?
00:25:19.000 Really?
00:25:19.000 Oh, how is he racist?
00:25:21.000 Well, did you see that thing Vice did where they had black conservatives debating liberal conservatives?
00:25:25.000 I did!
00:25:27.000 Speaking of Ann Coulter, remember she said our blacks are better than their blacks?
00:25:30.000 Right.
00:25:31.000 And that was taken to mean, I remember, I think it was Joe Scarborough or something after she said that, he goes, does she know slavery's over?
00:25:37.000 We don't own blacks anymore, which is a fucked up thing to say.
00:25:40.000 That's what they thought.
00:25:41.000 Cause that is like, we are white people and now we're all that 2% that owned slaves back during slavery.
00:25:48.000 Is that just a given that that's my family?
00:25:51.000 That's my people.
00:25:52.000 I was in Scotland, dude.
00:25:54.000 Right.
00:25:56.000 But what she meant was, because everyone gets Trump and Coulter and everyone else in the right wrong, what she meant was
00:26:03.000 If you're a black conservative, you've had to fight at Thanksgiving and fight at Christmas, and all your friends go, yo, what the fuck, man?
00:26:09.000 Yo, what the fuck?
00:26:11.000 Yelling at you, and your arguments get diamond hard.
00:26:16.000 You end up repeating your points, being clear, learning their points, looking it up, and you're ready for everything.
00:26:22.000 That's why the left are so mentally obese, because they live in a bubble.
00:26:26.000 So when you say, give me a sentence, he said, they don't have a response.
00:26:30.000 Maybe that's why they get so triggered and start walking away.
00:26:33.000 They always do that thing where they're very angry and they do not want to talk to you.
00:26:36.000 Well, that black chick with the blonde hair on that Vice video, she kept grabbing the sky and clenching her fists.
00:26:42.000 While the other, all the black conservatives were just like, look, here's the deal, blah, blah, blah.
00:26:46.000 We got used by Obama.
00:26:48.000 I voted for him just because he's black.
00:26:49.000 I regret it.
00:26:50.000 I'm an independent person.
00:26:52.000 And I don't feel that the world owes me anything.
00:26:54.000 Slavery was a long time ago.
00:26:55.000 And she's having a tantrum like a child.
00:26:58.000 And then at the end of it, after all that, right as it ends, guys, thank you for coming.
00:27:01.000 She's like, can we take a picture?
00:27:02.000 Yeah.
00:27:02.000 That's what she said.
00:27:03.000 That's the first thing she does when he says it's over.
00:27:05.000 She doesn't care about politics.
00:27:06.000 You know, you could, you're talking to a black conservative and you say something like,
00:27:11.000 You know, Venezuela doesn't represent all socialism.
00:27:13.000 We used to be socialist.
00:27:14.000 Our tax rate was 90% for the very rich back in the 50s, and it worked great.
00:27:19.000 And then the black conservative is familiar with that.
00:27:22.000 Because he's been told that.
00:27:24.000 And he goes, yes, but back
00:27:27.000 When that started there was, I think FDR, when we were 75% FDR was the only one who paid it.
00:27:32.000 Literally the only American in the country paying 75% was FDR.
00:27:36.000 And then later on when it was 90%, yes that's true, and it was only a handful of people who were in that tax bracket.
00:27:42.000 It was like Sammy Davis Jr.
00:27:44.000 and Frank Sinatra.
00:27:45.000 But it was also replete with loopholes.
00:27:50.000 So yes, they were taxed for this, but they were also allowed to write off their house, their vacations, their boat, their fancy sports cars were all written off by the business, that was the LLC.
00:28:02.000 So the actual time, the money they were spending 90% off was just like a tiny portion of their income.
00:28:07.000 You'll notice they still lived like kings back then.
00:28:11.000 Reagan closed a lot of those loopholes.
00:28:13.000 Anyway, my experience with the right, and especially black conservatives, is that they're very familiar with the arguments being thrown at them, and it makes them better at arguing.
00:28:25.000 You know, you said it's like diamond sharp, and maybe that's like, you know, they want to kind of debate and spar a little bit, and then you're just so laser, they're like, ow, I don't want to spar with you.
00:28:35.000 This isn't fun, so they run away.
00:28:37.000 I want to develop a show.
00:28:39.000 A show where we get more liberals on, but they've become so shitty that it's not interesting.
00:28:47.000 When Bill Maher started out, it seemed more evenly matched.
00:28:51.000 But with Trump derangement syndrome, it's just like when the lefties are on Tucker's show, it's just like pigs to the slaughter.
00:28:57.000 Like, I don't... There's some exceptions, of course.
00:29:00.000 That bald guy is pretty good.
00:29:02.000 But, I don't know, the only time they seem to be making sense is when they're discrediting their own party and saying, yeah, we've made a lot of mistakes, and yeah, that wasn't a good look, and yeah, we need to change.
00:29:14.000 It's sort of like when the only time moderate Muslims sound sane is when they say, yeah, the Quran has some serious problems with it, yeah, we have a disproportionate number of terrorists, yeah, we need reform.
00:29:29.000 But yeah, I remember working on films, and there's all these female PAs.
00:29:34.000 PAs are a weird culture.
00:29:36.000 They're kind of like bike messengers, where they see themselves as cowboys, like we're a Mad Max group of guys, and they've got their Teva hiking boot shoes.
00:29:47.000 They always wear cargo shorts.
00:29:49.000 They got their belt with 90 fucking pounds of tape, and they're really kind of arrogant.
00:29:57.000 And I feel like saying, guys, you tape down wires on the ground and you lift sandbags.
00:30:01.000 You're not changing the world.
00:30:03.000 You're not, you're not the sort of like Mad Max warriors with your own laws.
00:30:12.000 Boy, I really fucked up that analogy.
00:30:14.000 Um, can you stop surfing the web?
00:30:17.000 It's really distracting me.
00:30:18.000 I'm looking at the school of rock cause you got me on that.
00:30:21.000 And so by the way, that designer, that costume designer, she's been in a lot of,
00:30:26.000 She's ruined a lot of movies.
00:30:27.000 Oh, that was pretty cool styling.
00:30:36.000 Live action cartoon looking people.
00:30:38.000 And Team America, that's an actual cartoon thing.
00:30:41.000 That was really cool.
00:30:42.000 So I mean, but when you apply that onto little children that are in a rock band, it becomes very campy and weird.
00:30:48.000 Yeah, campy and weird.
00:30:49.000 The Love Guru, yeah, she's got a style.
00:30:51.000 So these PAs, and they're moving big boxes and...
00:30:56.000 You know, all these monitors and everything.
00:30:58.000 It's very heavy work.
00:30:59.000 And you always see these women, female PAs, almost without exception, they put their back out or they crumple their knee and they're gone, you know, a third of the way through the movie.
00:31:12.000 It happens time and time again.
00:31:14.000 And another thing I've noticed with them is the other PAs, they'll feel bad that she's carrying a big heavy sandbag.
00:31:20.000 You know what I'm talking about with sandbags, right?
00:31:22.000 The things that hold the lights down, stop them from wobbling.
00:31:25.000 And so they go, hey, I can get that for you.
00:31:27.000 And they always, they don't like that someone's doubting their strength.
00:31:30.000 So they always go, no, I got it, I got it.
00:31:32.000 And then they're carrying like 60 pounds of sandbags and that puts their back out.
00:31:37.000 And you go, well, you should have let him carry it.
00:31:39.000 Cause you just, I've heard that with the military too, that these women will go through
00:31:43.000 You know, combat training, and they'll inevitably twist their ankle or fuck up their knee and be out.
00:31:49.000 And, and this, this, um, military dude, what do I call people in the military?
00:31:56.000 Um, a serviceman?
00:31:57.000 Rank and file?
00:31:59.000 Rank and file?
00:31:59.000 I don't think so.
00:32:00.000 A grunt?
00:32:01.000 A jarhead?
00:32:02.000 No, those are all specific, I would think.
00:32:05.000 So some, some soldier, yeah, soldier, uh, told me that- A service member?
00:32:11.000 That sounds gay.
00:32:13.000 Sometimes like I don't say I don't say officer to cops.
00:32:16.000 I say cops and sometimes I get the feeling that they see it as kind of Rude, but I'm not saying officer.
00:32:22.000 It's too cuckish.
00:32:23.000 You know what I mean?
00:32:24.000 It seems kiss ashes Yeah, it seems kiss ass.
00:32:26.000 You're not you're not trying to level off with this person.
00:32:28.000 You're a cop.
00:32:29.000 Yeah
00:32:30.000 Um, and he, the way he was explaining it to me is he goes, we're like horses, you know, you put in money, you groom us cause you have a big race coming up and why you, you, you've invested in me as a machine.
00:32:44.000 And so you want me to be in good shape.
00:32:46.000 So you get your money's back when I go fight.
00:32:48.000 But when you have these thin little ankles and thin wrists, that's that someone's invested in something and they've lost their money.
00:32:56.000 So it becomes a bad investment.
00:32:58.000 It's becoming expensive.
00:33:03.000 You know, it's just an avoidance of meritocracy.
00:33:06.000 That's what the DNC is running on in this next election.
00:33:10.000 Forget meritocracy, forget who's the best person for the job.
00:33:13.000 We're going with, we want more women in Congress, like Ocasio-Cortez after the State of the Union.
00:33:19.000 They're all walking with these women.
00:33:21.000 Like they talk about, remember that meme?
00:33:23.000 What was that meme he sent me?
00:33:24.000 It was like, it's okay to have an abortion a day after the baby's born.
00:33:28.000 Yeah.
00:33:28.000 It's, you know, Trump mentioned, uh, you know, we can't kill babies and they sit, they're sitting there.
00:33:34.000 Uh, we have the lowest unemployment rate for black people.
00:33:38.000 They're still sitting there.
00:33:39.000 We have the most women in Congress and they stand up, they're raising the roof.
00:33:42.000 One of them is raising the roof.
00:33:44.000 So you, you, you mentioned them and they stand up.
00:33:46.000 That's when they stand up.
00:33:47.000 Pathetic.
00:33:48.000 Why don't we just start pushing more men in cheerleading?
00:33:51.000 There's that one team that has two.
00:33:53.000 Yeah.
00:33:53.000 They're in the super, there's the first super bowl.
00:33:55.000 They had a male cheer, cheerleader.
00:33:58.000 That guy's face.
00:33:59.000 Are you poking the mic with your hair?
00:34:00.000 Yeah.
00:34:02.000 That guy's face is, uh, is, uh, one of the best arguments for gay face.
00:34:07.000 I'm not saying gay face is true or not, but, uh, boy, I am.
00:34:12.000 I don't know what is going on.
00:34:13.000 Does he have mascara on?
00:34:15.000 I don't know.
00:34:15.000 It's a twinkle in their eyes.
00:34:17.000 Like Dov Davidoff had this joke, um, and it says, why does it always look like gay guys smell the fresh batch of cookies?
00:34:32.000 It is this, it's this whole... Hello!
00:34:37.000 You know, I met him after Anthony's show.
00:34:40.000 He was on Anthony's show one day and I brought that up to him.
00:34:42.000 I was like, dude, I know this is a long time ago, but I remember that joke and it's stuck with me ever since I've told it.
00:34:46.000 Oh, that's cool, man.
00:34:47.000 That's cool.
00:34:48.000 Just try to connect with him.
00:34:50.000 Oh, that's a great story, Ryan.
00:34:51.000 So you went up to the comedian who said that joke.
00:34:53.000 You said you liked the joke and he said, oh, that's cool.
00:34:56.000 Do you own the book rights to that story?
00:34:58.000 I don't think it's book worthy.
00:35:00.000 No?
00:35:00.000 Maybe a movie?
00:35:01.000 Straight to the theaters?
00:35:05.000 Something sticks with you for life and you can't ever connect with the source of it.
00:35:08.000 So don't try, I'd say.
00:35:10.000 That's my advice for people.
00:35:12.000 Shut up.
00:35:12.000 Do you ever meet somebody that you were like, dude, you made an impact on my life and you blew it?
00:35:18.000 I'm not a celebrity guy, but one time I was with celebrities at the premiere of the movie One Year, which flopped, and there's a guy there, the big fat guy who plays Larry David's manager.
00:35:36.000 Jeff Garlin.
00:35:37.000 Jeff Garlin was there.
00:35:41.000 I was with David Cross and Amber Tamblyn.
00:35:44.000 Put that on your bingo card.
00:35:45.000 And I don't know, if there's one group that loves celebrities, it's celebrities.
00:35:50.000 So Amber was like, Oh my God, I can't believe it.
00:35:52.000 There's whoever it was, fucking Sarah Silverman or something.
00:35:56.000 And they were kind of fanning out on these celebrities going, I should go and go say something.
00:36:00.000 I don't know.
00:36:00.000 So then I got caught up in it.
00:36:02.000 And I saw Jeff Garlin there and I've never done this before, since I thought, I'm going to go say hi.
00:36:07.000 Cause I had just heard him on this podcast and he was saying some really intelligent stuff about spontaneity and how, you know, when he does stand up comedy, he doesn't ever write jokes.
00:36:16.000 He just wings it and sees what happens.
00:36:17.000 And sometimes he bombs and sometimes he doesn't, but it's always spontaneous and people shouldn't have scripts.
00:36:22.000 That's what he loves about Curb Your Enthusiasm.
00:36:25.000 And I kind of, I did an interview later and I copied a lot of his points.
00:36:29.000 I plagiarized him.
00:36:31.000 So he was talking to another famous guy like Jeff Goldblum or something.
00:36:38.000 So they were both talking and I came up.
00:36:40.000 And I said, and then I waited there for there to be a break, which is already, oh, this should have been on our cringe episode.
00:36:46.000 They know it's coming.
00:36:47.000 They know you're about to say something.
00:36:48.000 And they're like, oh fuck, here comes some guy.
00:36:50.000 And I said, hey, uh, Jeff, uh, yeah, Gavin, I, I heard you on that podcast and I, I thought that the, I mentioned what podcast it was.
00:36:57.000 And I thought you had some really great points.
00:36:59.000 And I did an interview later and I basically said the same stuff, kind of stole it.
00:37:04.000 And he goes, oh, well, I meant everything I said on that.
00:37:06.000 And then goes back to his friend.
00:37:08.000 And I was like, what have I just done?
00:37:10.000 Yeah.
00:37:10.000 Yeah.
00:37:11.000 I'm that annoying guy that I hate.
00:37:13.000 You, you, you, yeah.
00:37:15.000 You lower your value by doing that as a, as a person.
00:37:17.000 Or I have one other example I just remembered.
00:37:21.000 I went to see DOA fairly recently, like the past five years.
00:37:25.000 And I, you know, they invented the word hardcore.
00:37:27.000 They were one of the first post-punk hardcore bands.
00:37:30.000 They're pretty punky though.
00:37:32.000 And they're Canadian legends.
00:37:34.000 And, uh,
00:37:36.000 Uh, I, I saw him there and someone introduced me and I go, Hey man.
00:37:39.000 And then I said something I've never said and never will say ever again.
00:37:43.000 I said, Hey, can I get a selfie?
00:37:46.000 And he goes, uh, no.
00:37:48.000 And just walks away.
00:37:49.000 Please tell me you were 16 when you said this.
00:37:52.000 I was 44.
00:37:57.000 That's pretty bad.
00:37:58.000 And I always say no to, well I don't always, but I often say no to selfies.
00:38:01.000 It's so stupid.
00:38:03.000 I hate this stupid, what is with these group photos?
00:38:06.000 Like it's one thing, oh here, I'm standing next to a celebrity, I hate that.
00:38:10.000 Like Jerry Seinfeld says, when are you ever going to use that?
00:38:13.000 Yeah.
00:38:13.000 Are you going to put it on your mantelpiece?
00:38:15.000 You don't know that guy.
00:38:16.000 So what does it mean, this picture of you and a celebrity, you and Jack Black?
00:38:20.000 What does it mean?
00:38:21.000 You're not friends, so it means, well, I was next to him.
00:38:24.000 Yeah, he lives on Earth.
00:38:25.000 I assume he's next to about 1,000 people a day.
00:38:28.000 Right.
00:38:29.000 You go to Grand Central once, and you were next to a million people.
00:38:33.000 So what's the point of it?
00:38:34.000 And then, even more annoying is, all right, let's all get a group photo.
00:38:38.000 And then everyone gets together, Proud Boys do this all the time, everyone gets together and takes a photo of themselves.
00:38:44.000 For what?
00:38:46.000 Do you look at that ever?
00:38:47.000 Do you print it out?
00:38:48.000 No.
00:38:48.000 Do you go on your phone?
00:38:50.000 I guess they put it on Facebook?
00:38:51.000 I guess when you're old you could look back at it and be like, ah.
00:38:54.000 No, you look at kids.
00:38:56.000 You look at pictures of your kids and you go, boy he was cute.
00:39:00.000 And you marvel at how, you know, that little two-year-old with the ponytail on top of her head is, like, wearing makeup now.
00:39:06.000 And is a woman.
00:39:08.000 But... But these group photos of a bunch of dudes.
00:39:13.000 I'm with Marshall... What's his name, the football player?
00:39:15.000 Marshall Lynch?
00:39:16.000 He goes, mans don't take pictures with mans.
00:39:20.000 Or maybe he says selfies.
00:39:21.000 Mans don't take selfies with mans.
00:39:23.000 That's funny.
00:39:24.000 I agree.
00:39:25.000 Run through a motherfuck's face.
00:39:28.000 You just... What's your technique, Marshall?
00:39:31.000 You're just so savage out there.
00:39:34.000 Well, you have to run to a motherfucker's face, and when you do that over and over and over and over and over and over... He says it about a hundred times.
00:39:42.000 About six.
00:39:43.000 Six is a lot.
00:39:44.000 Yeah, it's a lot.
00:39:45.000 A rule of threes times two.
00:39:46.000 A very important ESPN interview.
00:39:48.000 And then the interviewer goes, is there a greater message you're sending here?
00:39:52.000 Like he was hoping that Marshall was making like a metaphor?
00:39:55.000 No, he literally means run through a motherfucker's face.
00:39:59.000 Run through a motherfucker's face.
00:40:00.000 There he is.
00:40:04.000 You know, one more story about like being, it wasn't even fanboyish, you know that guy Lionel, the political analyst dude?
00:40:10.000 Mm-hmm.
00:40:12.000 So he had this theory that there was this drill going around, this emergency drill near the Lincoln Tunnel, and at the time I had lived around there working at this hostel, and his theory was that it could go live and it could be like a 9-11 fucking attack or something.
00:40:28.000 And that's what they were doing.
00:40:29.000 They were saying it was a drill, but they were going to prep for an actual attack.
00:40:31.000 So I was like, I left the city because of that, like at five o'clock in the morning.
00:40:35.000 And then I ran into him.
00:40:36.000 I was like, dude, remember when you thought that that drill was going to go live?
00:40:39.000 I left the city because of that.
00:40:41.000 He was like, huh?
00:40:42.000 Interesting.
00:40:43.000 I was like, all right, I guess I shouldn't have told you that.
00:40:47.000 But at the time he was like fear mongering and really trying to push it home that some serious shit could happen.
00:40:53.000 What has that got to do with anything?
00:40:55.000 Well, meeting somebody that had impacted you.
00:40:59.000 What he said made me leave where I was at five in the morning.
00:41:04.000 This has been your worst episode yet.
00:41:07.000 I'm sorry.
00:41:09.000 From now on, we're capping you at two stories per show.
00:41:15.000 Zero metaphors are allowed.
00:41:17.000 Zero?
00:41:17.000 Zero.
00:41:18.000 How about similes?
00:41:20.000 Nope.
00:41:20.000 You talk like a f**k and your s**t's all retarded.
00:41:24.000 You don't have to bleep those anymore.
00:41:25.000 I know.
00:41:27.000 And you don't talk like a fag, but your shit is all retarded.
00:41:29.000 Oh, I wanted to talk about that briefly.
00:41:31.000 Let's wrap it up.
00:41:34.000 I'm of two minds about the word retard.
00:41:38.000 When I saw a podcast, I heard a podcast with Ricky Gervais and some other British comedian talking about it.
00:41:43.000 And Ricky Gervais was saying, it's all about context and how you mean it.
00:41:47.000 And Ann Coulter said that too.
00:41:48.000 She said, no one calls someone with Down syndrome a retard.
00:41:53.000 Right?
00:41:53.000 But the other comedian was talking about how he, they have, he met this couple that were in the audience and they have a son that is so severely handicapped that there's only one person who can handle him.
00:42:06.000 Like one of those sort of flailing kind of cerebral palsy thing.
00:42:10.000 And you know, you have to hold them and stuff, uh, strap them in a chair or whatever.
00:42:14.000 So they only get out maybe once a year.
00:42:17.000 And then they get out and they hear the word retard a lot and it bums them out.
00:42:23.000 And so their one night a year, they go out, they get, they basically are hearing the N word about their black son and it ruins it.
00:42:34.000 I did say it once around a handicapped, mentally handicapped person.
00:42:37.000 I said, yeah, my dog's retarded.
00:42:39.000 And I felt terrible because I'd said that word around that guy.
00:42:43.000 But on the other hand, we always talk about color and how everyone is so sensitive now that it's ruining, it's taking all the fun out of dialogue.
00:42:53.000 And we were talking about that Archie Bunker clip.
00:42:54.000 Can you find that one?
00:42:55.000 Mm-hmm.
00:42:55.000 Where he goes, no, a guy with glasses is a four eyes.
00:43:00.000 And you think, whenever you watch Archie Bunker and he has that clip where he goes, you do all the cooking at your house?
00:43:05.000 Aren't you afraid how that'll look?
00:43:07.000 Oh, like I'm a bad mother?
00:43:08.000 A bad wife?
00:43:10.000 There it is.
00:43:10.000 Jeez, I haven't had my lunch.
00:43:13.000 Roger.
00:43:15.000 Roger the Fairy?
00:43:17.000 Did you hear I need it?
00:43:20.000 You know who they're bringing around here for lunch?
00:43:22.000 Roger, Sweetie Pie Roger.
00:43:24.000 Sweetie Pie Roger.
00:43:27.000 Wait a minute, pause.
00:43:28.000 Isn't this kind of homophobic?
00:43:56.000 How so?
00:43:57.000 Well, she's saying, that's mean.
00:43:58.000 Cause he's saying the guy's queer.
00:44:00.000 The guy's gay.
00:44:02.000 That's like, what if he said the guy's black?
00:44:05.000 That's really mean.
00:44:06.000 He's not black.
00:44:07.000 Don't say that horrible thing about someone.
00:44:09.000 Like South Park, like Kyle's like, I'm Jewish, Cartman.
00:44:12.000 And Cartman's like, don't say that about yourself.
00:44:16.000 It's really fucked up.
00:44:18.000 Yeah.
00:44:20.000 He hasn't necessarily said it.
00:44:22.000 Well, he did say we run a nice, a nice house here, but queer is a $4 bill.
00:44:26.000 I mean, $4 bills are very unusual.
00:44:28.000 Little birdies.
00:44:29.000 And gays, I think, represent about 1% of the population.
00:44:33.000 They always say 10, which is fucking ridiculous.
00:44:35.000 Okay, go ahead.
00:44:37.000 I never said a guy who wears glasses is a queer.
00:44:41.000 A guy who wears glasses is a four-eyes.
00:44:43.000 A guy who's a fag is a queer.
00:44:50.000 Now, that, okay, you get into the politics of that, and
00:44:55.000 Archie Bunker wasn't... Norman Lear didn't create him to be liked.
00:44:58.000 He created him to lampoon bigotry.
00:45:01.000 But people ended up just thinking it was funny.
00:45:03.000 Because I think back then people were sort of apolitical.
00:45:06.000 Like they didn't...
00:45:09.000 Think gays were garbage, but when they saw an old blue-collar guy in Queens using that word, they weren't really laughing with him.
00:45:19.000 It's hard to articulate, and you shouldn't have to analyze comedy.
00:45:22.000 It's like sex.
00:45:23.000 It's just a weird thing that you enjoy.
00:45:26.000 They weren't really saying, ha ha, we hate fags.
00:45:30.000 They were like, ha ha, that's an old bigot who's using really crass language and he believes it.
00:45:35.000 So you could argue that they were laughing at racism.
00:45:38.000 Yeah, well, that's the argument.
00:45:40.000 Absolutely.
00:45:40.000 Tell me, what is the issue?
00:45:43.000 He's a fag!
00:45:45.000 Oh, that's so great.
00:45:49.000 So we laugh at that.
00:45:50.000 We laugh at Arch.
00:45:52.000 And to ban the word retard is to, um...
00:45:57.000 Just take one more word out of the equation.
00:46:00.000 And again, when you say it, you're obviously not talking about people with Down syndrome.
00:46:05.000 And by the way, pro-choicers, we use a rude word about them.
00:46:09.000 You have genocided them.
00:46:12.000 Right.
00:46:12.000 Your love of abortion has killed off Down syndrome.
00:46:15.000 When I was a kid, they were everywhere.
00:46:18.000 Every gang, you'd have like your main guys, your four guys, and then there'd be one five-year-old, because one of your buddies had to bring his little brother.
00:46:27.000 That was kind of a pain in the ass, but whatever.
00:46:29.000 We just ignored him.
00:46:30.000 And then the one kid with Down syndrome.
00:46:33.000 Yeah.
00:46:34.000 And that was normal.
00:46:35.000 And they weren't teased.
00:46:37.000 It was just part of your day.
00:46:38.000 They were slow.
00:46:39.000 There was always the slow kid.
00:46:41.000 And now they're gone.
00:46:43.000 Like, you see someone with Down syndrome a couple times a year, maybe?
00:46:46.000 I haven't in about the past year.
00:46:48.000 You know what I've never seen in my life?
00:46:50.000 A black guy with Down syndrome.
00:46:52.000 No, never.
00:46:54.000 Why is that?
00:46:54.000 Isn't that weird?
00:46:57.000 I don't know.
00:47:00.000 So, yeah, you'd hate for someone with Downs to hear it, but should we remove it?
00:47:06.000 I mean, you and I say it a hundred times in an episode.
00:47:09.000 That's retarded.
00:47:10.000 Yeah.
00:47:11.000 Well, I don't know.
00:47:13.000 I don't see it as hurtful because when I say, are you blind or are you deaf when people don't hear me?
00:47:18.000 It's not insensitive towards people that can't fucking hear or see.
00:47:22.000 Yeah.
00:47:23.000 It's not real retards.
00:47:24.000 I don't really believe in retards.
00:47:26.000 I believe there are people with problems and retard's a fun word.
00:47:29.000 I don't believe in retards.
00:47:30.000 That's another shirt?
00:47:30.000 That's another shirt.
00:47:34.000 It's like when I work with this woman, Cheryl, and she told me, you know, midgets are really rich.
00:47:39.000 And I go, pardonnez-moi.
00:47:42.000 And she goes, no, because of movies like Time Bandits and, you know, other movies like that, they have a lot of money.
00:47:49.000 I think she thought there was about 11 midgets in the world.
00:47:52.000 Oh, that's another word you're not allowed to say, right?
00:47:53.000 Midget.
00:47:53.000 See, this is the problem.
00:47:54.000 We're dwarfs.
00:47:55.000 This slippery slope.
00:47:57.000 So I think Ricky Gervais is right.
00:47:59.000 The word retard is usable.
00:48:02.000 But you gotta be really careful about context.
00:48:07.000 And the N-word, I got in trouble for saying this on my old show, but there is a conceivable way to say it.
00:48:14.000 It's just very, very, very rare.
00:48:17.000 Maybe once a year where it, like Zach Galifianakis has a joke that uses the N-word and it's really funny.
00:48:25.000 Do you remember it?
00:48:29.000 I'm sure if you put in Zach Galifianakis and that horrible, horrible word, it'll come up.
00:48:35.000 But this is what I'm trying to get to, and I know we're running out of time here, but I grew up with listening to punk and hardcore, and it was... Ooh, I say that kind of weird now.
00:48:44.000 I say that in the porn way.
00:48:46.000 Punk and hardcore.
00:48:47.000 You got to hit the hard.
00:48:48.000 Punk and hardcore?
00:48:49.000 Yeah.
00:48:50.000 Punk and hardcore is what you said before.
00:48:52.000 Yeah, you can't emphasize the core.
00:48:53.000 That sounds like the anal porn.
00:48:56.000 Um, but what I remember about my days is, yes, of course it was left-wing.
00:49:01.000 But it was also non-wing.
00:49:04.000 And there was plenty of right-wing kind of themes throughout it, and a lot of offensive stuff.
00:49:08.000 Like, there was this band called The Meat Men, and, uh...
00:49:12.000 Their first album is a live album, I believe, and it's called, We're the Meat Men and You Suck.
00:49:17.000 And there's songs on it like, I'm Glad I'm Not a Girl, where he talks about how they have to sit down to pee and stuff.
00:49:24.000 It's just, girls suck.
00:49:27.000 They had a song about John Lennon being shot saying, one down, three to go.
00:49:30.000 This is before George Harrison died.
00:49:34.000 And then he had a song about,
00:49:37.000 Fucking high school girls, and it was like, burn the little panties off of Newbounds with a Bunsen burner.
00:49:43.000 Slim on that maturity, but Jesus fuck, their tits are firmer.
00:49:46.000 Pick them up for grease too, but by God, they've gone to driver's ed.
00:49:49.000 That's okay, because mom will dork you in her queen-sized parent's bed.
00:49:53.000 Ice and four living, ice and four living.
00:49:55.000 Like, it was just raunchy, offensive, teen fun.
00:49:58.000 I wouldn't listen to them now in the house with the kids.
00:50:01.000 But it was totally offensive.
00:50:04.000 Or you had the Forgotten Rebels, and they had a song called Bomb the Boats, Feed the Fish.
00:50:09.000 Because it was back when a lot of boat people were emigrating.
00:50:13.000 I forget what exactly was going on.
00:50:15.000 It wasn't Cubans coming to Miami.
00:50:16.000 It was like Southeast Asians.
00:50:18.000 They called them boat people.
00:50:20.000 And he was saying, bomb the boats and feed their fucking flesh to the fish.
00:50:25.000 Now, it wasn't clear whether he was genuinely saying that or whether he was playing a character.
00:50:32.000 And I think he since said that he overheard some dumb racist say that in the lineup and he was singing it.
00:50:37.000 But, uh... Turn it up?
00:50:43.000 Is this it?
00:50:44.000 Oh yeah.
00:50:46.000 I don't want no foreign pricks to take my job away from me.
00:51:03.000 Now, yeah, so in this day and age, he's had to apologize and say, no, I was being a character.
00:51:08.000 I heard this guy in a lineup and I was making a song about him.
00:51:12.000 But back when we heard that song in the 80s, we didn't really care.
00:51:16.000 You know, will you stop sucking that fucking chemical stupid plastic dick?
00:51:21.000 It's not showing up on the thing, but I will stop.
00:51:24.000 God, it's so annoying!
00:51:26.000 You're trying to eliminate color.
00:51:28.000 No, you took away... Smoking cigarettes was cool.
00:51:31.000 I would happily leave the studio reeking of cigarette smoke.
00:51:34.000 Really?
00:51:34.000 Yes.
00:51:35.000 I will smoke cigarettes in here again.
00:51:36.000 Cigarettes look cool.
00:51:38.000 I know, they are.
00:51:38.000 Sucking that stupid vape.
00:51:40.000 You look like you're blowing a robot.
00:51:42.000 But then they stink, because, like, you touch the keyboard, it gets all nicotine-y.
00:51:46.000 Ugh, yeah, fine.
00:51:47.000 That's what meant... Cigarettes, to me, smell like freedom, and I've never smoked a cigarette once in my life.
00:51:50.000 You know, absolutely.
00:51:52.000 You're right.
00:51:53.000 Ugh.
00:51:54.000 It's everything I hate about your generation.
00:51:56.000 I like people that smoke cigarettes.
00:51:58.000 It's like you're a corporate tool.
00:52:00.000 The same way they're staring at their phone all the time.
00:52:02.000 They're like, I'm gonna suck on this, whatever it is.
00:52:04.000 Is there a THC in it?
00:52:06.000 No.
00:52:06.000 I'm not getting high over here.
00:52:07.000 I barely smoke weed.
00:52:08.000 What's in it?
00:52:09.000 Nicotine.
00:52:10.000 The same thing in cigarettes that makes you want cigarettes, but I quit cigarettes because this helps you breathe more.
00:52:15.000 It's like the crack pipe.
00:52:17.000 Yeah.
00:52:18.000 Or there was gangrene that had, you know,
00:52:22.000 Budweiser's all over the front of their album and then there was...
00:52:28.000 Johnny Ramone saying fuck commies.
00:52:31.000 I hate commies.
00:52:32.000 And there was Fear that had a big eagle on the front of their album.
00:52:37.000 You know, there was Sid Vicious with a swastika on his shirt.
00:52:41.000 He clearly wasn't a holocaust denier.
00:52:43.000 It was just like, I'm as offensive as possible.
00:52:45.000 It was like a way of saying fuck you.
00:52:47.000 A lot of biker gangs would wear swastikas too.
00:52:49.000 Ching-a-lings.
00:52:50.000 They still do.
00:52:51.000 I'm not advocating for the swastika there, snitches.
00:52:55.000 I'm just saying that back before political correctness, before the nineties, there was just more variety.
00:53:01.000 And sometimes you didn't know if the person was kidding or not.
00:53:04.000 And sometimes you didn't care because you knew how you feel.
00:53:08.000 And if the forgotten rebels were genuinely singing that, what are we, we're worried about Cambodian boat people being hurt by the song.
00:53:15.000 If you're hurt by the song, tell the forgotten rebels to fuck off.
00:53:19.000 You know what I mean?
00:53:19.000 Yeah.
00:53:20.000 Now,
00:53:22.000 Someone going up to someone with Down syndrome and saying, hey, you stupid retard.
00:53:25.000 That's horrific, obviously.
00:53:27.000 But does that happen?
00:53:28.000 See, this is my problem.
00:53:29.000 Oh, I'm glad I finally remember this.
00:53:31.000 We'll wrap it up with this.
00:53:35.000 This is my number one beef, and I keep coming back to this as a general theme.
00:53:40.000 Uh, in the show.
00:53:41.000 When the Catholic school thing happened, people were happy, and they thought, good, I have evidence that Trump's America is a racist hellhole.
00:53:50.000 The Magahet versus Indian one.
00:53:52.000 Yeah, with the Jussie Smollett thing.
00:53:54.000 They ran with the story, despite
00:53:56.000 I think we listed 15 inconsistencies with his story that make no sense.
00:54:01.000 They just said, fuck it, I'm going to make a video saying, I've been listening to your words and I got your back, Jussie.
00:54:08.000 Or Kamala Harris, who's going to run for president, just taking it for granted that it happened and saying, this is why we're better than this, America.
00:54:16.000 Yeah, we literally are better than this.
00:54:18.000 It just happened.
00:54:20.000 But my problem with people being so petrified of what was normal in Archie Bunker days is you're assuming that Archie Bunker is this looming Ebola virus that could ostensibly wipe us out.
00:54:32.000 No, that's not looming.
00:54:35.000 As I've said on the show a million times, check the New York Post article.
00:54:42.000 Oh, poo, wait.
00:54:44.000 Yeah, here it is.
00:54:45.000 Check the article.
00:54:47.000 No, there's no Trump-fueled surge in anti-Semitism, written by Jonathan S. Tobin.
00:54:52.000 Also, check the article by, boy, my computer's fast, David Harsanyi.
00:55:01.000 Harsanyi, there is no surge in right-wing violence.
00:55:06.000 Anyway, a listener sent me, I get pretty good emails.
00:55:10.000 I gave out my email address and I don't regret it yet.
00:55:13.000 Yeah.
00:55:14.000 But people come calling and correct us and remember, that's how we found out that there was more people to arrest Roger Stone than there was to Osama Bin Laden.
00:55:25.000 Right.
00:55:26.000 Oh, but did you hear that other thing about Roger Stone?
00:55:28.000 When, um, after San Bernardino, the FBI demanded that Apple give them their iPhone passwords so they can get into their iPhones, Apple said, fuck you, and stood by the terrorists, and they just handed over everything to the FBI from Roger Stone.
00:55:45.000 So, Roger Stone is now more dangerous than terrorists twice.
00:55:50.000 He's more dangerous than Bin Laden, because we had to send more guys to get him, and he's more dangerous than the San Bernardino terrorists, according to our culture.
00:55:58.000 So anyway, here's a C.S.
00:55:59.000 Lewis quote from Mere Christianity, I guess that's the book.
00:56:05.000 Ready?
00:56:07.000 And this is about people being happy when the Covington Catholic school thing happened and not questioning it.
00:56:13.000 The real test is this.
00:56:14.000 Suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper.
00:56:18.000 Then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story might not quite be true or not quite so bad as it was made out.
00:56:26.000 Is one's first feeling, Oh, thank God.
00:56:29.000 Even they aren't quite as bad as that.
00:56:31.000 Or is it a feeling of disappointment and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies as bad as possible?
00:56:43.000 And I think this is the big split in America today.
00:56:46.000 We don't want them to be evil.
00:56:49.000 They want us to be evil.
00:56:52.000 We want them to get the truth.
00:56:55.000 They want to hurt us.
00:56:57.000 They want to de-platform, un-person, and physically harm us.
00:57:02.000 They talk about tolerance while wanting to banish us because they see us as intolerant.
00:57:07.000 They talk about ending hate when all they talk about is their hatred of conservatives and Trump and rednecks and Republicans and pro-lifers.
00:57:18.000 They talk about hating violence when they, in the same breath, they want to punch us all.
00:57:23.000 Call us Nazis.
00:57:25.000 And it goes back to Charles Krauthammer, they think we're evil, we just think they're wrong.
00:57:29.000 Anyway, second paragraph of C.S.
00:57:30.000 Lewis.
00:57:31.000 If it is the second, and the second, remember, was a feeling of disappointment that your enemies weren't evil, then it is, I'm afraid, the first step in a process which, if followed to the end, will make us into devils.
00:57:46.000 You see, one is beginning to wish that black was a little blacker.
00:57:50.000 I wish he hadn't used the metaphor of color, but this was probably back when they were called, when black people were called Negroes and you didn't instantly think of black people when you said black.
00:58:00.000 You see, one is beginning to wish that black was a little black, blacker.
00:58:03.000 If we give that wish its head, later on, we shall wish to see gray as black, then to see white itself as black.
00:58:10.000 And when he says black, he means darkness and negativity.
00:58:14.000 Finally, we shall insist on seeing everything, God and our friends and ourselves included, as bad and not be able to stop doing it.
00:58:22.000 We shall then be fixed forever in a universe of pure hatred.
00:58:27.000 And this is why I call the SPLC a hate group.
00:58:31.000 Yeah.
00:58:33.000 Because they are creating
00:58:35.000 An America rife with hate, and it's just frustrating as an immigrant who came down here because one of the best things about America is that it's so hate-free, is that it's so fun, is that it's so... there's so much liberty, there's so much, I don't know, awesomeness.
00:58:52.000 I love Beavis and Butthead and Rodney Dangerfield and Caddyshack.
00:58:55.000 I love the ugly American.
00:58:57.000 And, you know, Britain, for example, has this whole thing with class, where, hey, I can't associate with a, what are you doing?
00:59:03.000 Are you all right?
00:59:05.000 They can't be together.
00:59:06.000 Just all these rules.
00:59:07.000 America's rule free.
00:59:09.000 And then in the past five years, especially the past two years, they've changed that into America is really a fucking sexist and racist and antisemitic and homophobic and transphobic.
00:59:20.000 And when the government has to come in and fix that.
00:59:23.000 We need more female directors.
00:59:24.000 We need more female stylists ruining movies and lifting sandbags.
00:59:29.000 We need, we need to make hate crimes a thing.
00:59:32.000 If it didn't happen, just say it did.
00:59:33.000 Let's get it out there.
00:59:34.000 Let's make a big hate map where we show all the hate.
00:59:37.000 Let's put signs everywhere that say, get out of here hate, because hate is everywhere.
00:59:42.000 We have to beat it back.
00:59:45.000 I mean, people honestly believe, I see them at protests being interviewed, and they believe that we've gone backwards and we're just as racist as we were in the fifties.
00:59:55.000 Alright.
00:59:56.000 I guess that's all I got for now.